F**kface - The Scariest Book Possible // Andrew Gets to the Bottom of It [77]

Episode Date: October 29, 2025

Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about anxiety, popup books, gotcha, 18A, Jackass, night pissing, going to bed, bedpan, Green Giant Back Miami, Mystery Hotel Hidden Objects, endings, phone numbers, video game updates, Meet New Animals, Xbox Wizard, Turko Files, buying over the phone, Larry King's keys, Joan Rivers' dog, the most scattered person, Scotty, how to watch movies, house boat, uncredited, Andrew's Movie Corner, Geoff's drink, Faygo, period accurate diner, Terry Rozier, and getting the pen. Join us for Sloppy Joe's Bingo on Halloween (Oct 31) at 9 pm Central! https://www.twitch.tv/theregulationpod Sponsored by HelloFresh. Thanks HelloFresh! Get 10 FREE meals and a free breakfast for life at HelloFresh.com/REGULATION10FM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Twist on TV slash Regulation Prime! Hello and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast. This is episode 77. My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me as always, Andrew Panton, Gavin Free, Eric Bador, Nick Schwartz, nothing's going to stop this fucking intro. Certainly not the anxiety.

Eric and I were talking before we started the podcast for anybody else showed up. Has anybody else experienced an unbelievable amount of anxiety around recording these episodes for some reason? The specific ones? Yes. Oh. Really? Why?

I don't know. I was telling Eric when he came in this morning. I've had, I've been so, I don't know, since I got back from Detroit, had this level of anxiety about today. I even woke up at 6 a.m. on the dot this morning and just stared at the ceiling until my alarm went off at 7.30.

I don't know what it is. I just like, I just am nervous about 77 and 78 or just recording in general, but I can't, it's just been hitting me in waves and it never happens like this. I don't know what it is. I really don't. And Eric, Eric, you similar? I've just had over like the last week and I don't know what it is. I just had like weird bouts of anxiety

where all of a sudden I'll be like reading a book or something and it's like, oh, I need to put this down and like close my eyes and take deep breaths for like a few minutes. And I can't pinpoint. I don't have like a generalized anxiety. I'm an anxious guy just in general, but like not a, oh my God, this is like hitting me

and I'm feeling it. And I probably happened like four or five times over like the last week. Were you reading The Shining? Yeah, it was making me scary. Yeah, I'm reading a book where I'm worried something's going to jump out at me. Was it a pop-up book?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The next page, something's just coming out at me. Is there a pop-up version of The Shining? That'd be sick. What if it was a pop-up book called Jump Scare? And just every page is like, ah! Should we invent this book? Gotcha.

Gotcha. Which I make the scariest book possible. I just like a pop-up book that's all Jump-scarious. every page. No one story. Dibs, Dibs, trademark, registered. You can't do it. It's a regulation idea.

We had it first. It's a uniform is already, lawyers are already at work. What if we all submit one page of the scary part? Mine will be, I think, just a bill from the IRS, page one. Mm. Yeah, that'd be scary.

Gotcha. Gotcha. Scary pop up. I'm glad you're right. Yeah, he's writing it down. I don't know that there's some, I don't know that this has legs, but we can try. It's my anxiety. I can't. I'm scared. I'll forget it. So I have to write that. Oh, what if the book had legs? That's scary? I think if I, okay, I think if I submitted a page, ominous doctor's note would be my, would be the thing that I submit. Just omit, like scary doctor's note.

I submit you're laying in bed. It's like a person laying in bed and then you, and then a microphone pops up and you have to record. It was like, ah, podcast. You know how, like, books will have age ratings for them as far as, like, this book is best for, like, five to seven-year-olds. It is that, but what's the pop-up scare is age-dependent, so, like, in your, it's, like, 40 to 45, it is tax stuff. It is losing your prescription or, like, realizing you're in pills. Yeah, like, your 401k just ate shit, and it's recommended. for like 55 year olds. Yeah, like the life problem shift.

It's a call from the doctor that says it's malignant. I have a book that's just 80 plus in every page is, you're dead. You're dead. I feel like seeing 18 plus on something just it looks so scary and serious from what I was a kid

and I couldn't like consume that content. But if it said like 25 plus, that for some reason is less scary to me. there's something so severe about the number 18 yeah no I agree it seems like a big like cutoff where it's like that's adult but if it said 31 I'd be like what I'm intrigued

what is 31 plus it's funny you say that because that's the Canadian movie rating system we don't have R it goes to 18A oh yeah yeah we have like 12A 15 18 oh I thought you meant something was 31 plus He said it goes to 18A.

Yeah. Does the A stand for anal? Like when you're 18, you can see anal? Yeah, that's right. 18 anal. 18 to A? Only films that have at least 18 anuses in it are allowed to have the 18A rating. It's more of a guideline, I guess, than a rating.

What is the lowest rated movie with an anus in it? Like exposed anus or just, what are we talking? Yeah, like a visible anus. Has there ever been anus in like a 15? There are not many movies that have visible anuses in them generally. Yeah. I don't really capture the anus all that much. Did Game of Thrones have an anus?

There was a... I don't think so. There was a thing they just did on the Howard Stern show where they did an embedded where they filmed Ham Hands Bill shitting because he's paraplegic and he has a nurse that helps him do it. And they filmed his actual anus. And apparently the footage is the grossest footage ever filmed and Howard refused to let it be shown.

Yeah. I mean, even you describing it was the grossest thing of it. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Pretty bad. I'm trying to think. I can't think of film Anus. So I'm thinking there probably aren't a lot of mainstream anus movies. Yeah, that's fair.

Even in Canada, where it's hyper-legal. It's weird. I feel like I've seen more urethras than I have anus. Whoa. What the fuck are you saying? I'm thinking about like jackass. There's like a lot of dick and jackass. But I can't think of buttholes.

Yeah, you get like, you get x-ray. of buttholes, like with the toy car and stuff. Yeah. Dave England had some... The poo volcano, didn't he? He did. That's true, but I feel like that's a side profile, right? Yeah.

And there is the one where they're shooting the bottle rockets out of Steveo's butt, I believe. Oh, right. That was a classic. Feeling less anxious now, Jeff? Gavin, if you could pick a jackass stunt to film in slow motion, do you have one in mind? Is there one that, like, off the rip?

You're like, oh, I wish I could do. I wish I could have done that. Oh, that's such a great question. I mean, they did start using a ton of slow-mo after the third movie. I'm trying to think of an old one. Maybe, like, if it could be lit, well, the one where they were all in the back of the truck.

Oh, that's such a good idea. Oh, yeah. Because there was some slams in that one. Hmm. I'm trying to think, like, will be the most watchable film entirely in slow motion. I think we saw it. It was 300.

Yeah, that was a lot of, yeah, that's fair I would love to see that movie Sped Up to Real Time It'd be 18 minutes long I'm imagining A film less designed for it though Like driving Miss Daisy Entirely in slow motion

Twelve Angry Men Waiting for Godo They're just waiting for so long The weight just feels insurmountable I have a question for Andrew Okay Last week we talked about you pissing in the night And I was wondering if you started the test

Of not drinking anything before bed No No I haven't That's a good call I got real mad about a night pee last night Oh So it's It hit me

You had an angry night piss Yeah I just really didn't feel it I was still awake I was just plain some games and then... Wait, you were up playing games and it annoyed you? Yeah, because I was ready to go to bed, but then it's like, now I gotta get up, and it'll become a whole thing. Like, I'm gonna become Warwick. Surely a part of going to bed. Do you not pee before going to bed?

Well, some, like, the process of going to bed and sleeping are two different things entirely. I went to bed probably three hours before I initiated, like, okay, it's time for sleep. So were you playing video games in bed then? Yes. Ah, I got you. So I was in bed, I stretched out, looked at the phone a little bit. Then I got really hooked on playing Bollex Pit, which I'm liking a lot. Downloaded it today at your recommendation.

So much fun. What's Bollocks Pit? It is like Brickbreaker, but as a rogue like, it is very satisfying. Numbers are popping out. You're upgrading things. It is good. It's a good loop. So that is, it's like a time.

sink. So I spent like three hours playing that. And I was like, I should go to bed. I got to get up for the podcast and make sure I'm like alert. All good. But I got to pee. And it, uh, really threw wrenching to things. To me, the tiniest little wrench. It's like a Christmas cracker wrench. Well, but like when you get up, you become more alert. I was all in a light. For three hours, you get more alert. No, I slowly drift off. I slowly get sleepy. Then I'm, like, in a sleep state, and I'm like, I'm ready to go. But then it's like, I contemplated, do I just sleep through? And I was like, no, I really need to pee.

Like, I'm going to, if I go to sleep, I'm going to wake up in like two hours. You surely have more procedure than just pissing. Like, you already, like, brush your gob and everything? Yeah, it was all good. And then three hours later, you thought I'll go to sleep. Yeah, because I was ready for sleep. I really wanted to play Ball X. Pitmore, honestly. But I had to go to bed

And then I had to pee I always feel weird when I agree with Andrew But I do understand what he's saying And I'm kind of right there with him It is like you're almost asleep And then you could go to sleep And then take the risk that you can sleep Through the night without needing to piss

Which sometimes work Or you get up and you go piss But by the time you get back to bed You're wide awake now And you have to like spend another 20 minutes on your phone To refall asleep or play ball ex pit or whatever. It is, it is annoying.

And there is that moment where you're like, I could just try to go to sleep and maybe make it through the night and then not have to be with the next, yeah. Have you considered a bedpan? No, thanks. That's way, no, it's terrible.

It's a terrible idea. I don't understand how those are supposed to work. Like, have you ever used a bedpan? I don't think I have. And I just don't understand how I'm supposed to piss into something that's shaped like a shallow kidney. Yeah, do you sit on it,

or do you turn on your front and put your knob in it and piss? Let me just roll over here. I have no, I see them all the time and I just think, I've never used one and I have no idea the geography of its use. Is there a picture somewhere of someone using one?

Like jackass style? Is that what we're looking for? I'd like to see it because every time I see a bedpan, I think, okay, you're going to use that and then immediately you have to strip the sheets and then wash the sheets, because you've spilled piss or shit all over the bed, guaranteed. There's no way out of it.

Yeah, surely it will... So it's for shitting, too. Yeah, yeah, it's everything. Yeah. I just feel like I would... If I was shitting in it, I would definitely piss out of it. You would piss out of it?

Well, there are two different directions of... Of Evac. Right, right, but it's not just like it's like, it's a small thing. It's like, you're like, full, it's like a full thing under you, like taking like a lot of space

under you. Yeah, okay. It's just like sitting on a normal toilet. But lying down. Oh, they, oh, they press it into your ass. Yeah. Oh, man.

They're definitely spilling piss and shit everywhere. Well, there is a matter. Oh, I see. That's, that's, oh, I had no idea. It would be. And then it's a At the same time, there is also a urinal, or urinal, as you could say, but it's a jug. Female one.

Yeah. Fracture bedpan. So, no, that wasn't a solution. Just so, just so everyone knows right now, our chat, like our Discord chat is just me and Nick sending so many pictures of, like, drawings and diagrams. This one is just the one we saw earlier, but closer. Oh no! That should be... Can that be the thumbnail?

Or will I get in trouble? We probably shouldn't. I found a picture of a used bedpan. You don't want to see that. No, I kind of do. I kind of do want to see it. Okay. No. Don't look dickhead. I want to see it.

Used how? Oh! Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. That's what I think would happen. There you go. Okay, Gavin, it's gone. Gavin, it's gone. I didn't let you.

No, I understand. So I have a... Oh, so maybe shit aside, would anyone use a bedpan that's being held by me? Yes. Like, as a joke? Like what... It's just as a bit, like if I gloved up, we put a mat down. As a bit, yeah, I think everyone's fine with it as a bit.

Oh, you would do it? I think everyone here would do it, because you're the one that's gonna suffer the consequence. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, you're the one who has to have your ass out and piss in a... In a pan I think it's way worse On your end than You're 100%

You might be right You're in the You're in charge of the blast zone Could I Could I share something That the positive of me having to pee? Yes So I was up

I was like fuck I'm up I might as well sit at my desk For a bit And I was just looking at things On the Xbox store And I was gonna save this as a surprise, but Jeff talking about thumbnails, I think this, this might, this might be a thing to beat. This is a thing I discovered on the store that I purchased. Let me

introduce to you. None other than a game called Green Giant Back Miami. This is the product image for it. It's loading right now. it is a that might not be a photo I don't know what that is we'll see what happens what are you what are you doing I still just see a

screenshot are you sure I'm 100% sure it's a PNG file is it is it hey yeah there we go

it just popped up no it didn't pop up I found it and sent it it's the incredible Hulk with a goatee and trotie and tribal tattoos. Yes. It's called Green Giant Back Miami.

So it's not the Hulk or the Green Giant. What's he? The game, your favorite game is back. The Green Giant is back on the streets of Miami. So, but the thing is, if I'm looking at gameplay, that's not what he looks like. It's just the Hulk and it's Hulk assets. And I really liked this one screenshot that says, but unfortunately, with the incredible So this is like a money laundering thing, right?

There are no reviews of it. It's E for everyone. It is E for everyone. The Hulk in that picture, it looks like, in the second one, it looks like he's being yelled at by his mom. He does. He forgot to take the trash out. What did you do to the bank?

So I just, I saw a green giant back. And I was like, this is a game for me. And then I saw Hulk with tribal tattoos and pedestrians running. So we could be the first review of this video game. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Number one, one baby. That should be our new show, our new show, first review gaming.

First review. Like we, we could only review stuff that's never been reviewed before. Yeah. Have you played this yet, Andrew? I loaded in to make sure it would work. And then I wanted to save it from when we record a video. Single player, I assume. Yes.

Can we do it as soon as we're done with our podcast recordings? Sure. Can this be one of our let's play? Absolutely. Great idea. Crean Giant Pack, Miami. It's an absolutely great idea. Stop saying it.

We need to record it before it's removed from the game store. Oh, I installed it, and I am not deleting it. I do not trust that it will not get pulled. This episode of the Regulation Podcast is brought to you by Hello Fresh. Hello Fresh. I've talked about them a lot. Number one meal kit and America, they're fantastic, such great recipes, and I just absolutely love the service.

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real-time insights, and endless ways to move. Lift with confidence while Peloton IQ counts reps, corrects form, and tracks your progress. Let yourself run, lift, flow, and go. Explore the new Peloton cross-draining tread plus at One Peloton.C.A. I also discovered something on the store that I think is wild that I've never noticed before. Jeff, do you mind? Do you think it would be too spoilery to get into how a recent series of videos we filmed ended? Are disappointment? I think you're referring to, yes, go ahead.

If you want to talk about it. You talking about the hotel? I am talking about the hotel. So Jeff and I have filmed a series of let's plays in a game called Murder Mystery Hotel, I think. Is that what it's something? I think so. Murder Mystery Hotel or Hidden Hotel Murder Mysteries or something.

I'm pulling it up right now. So we're playing through it. It's Mystery Hotel Hidden Objects is the name of the game. It is one of those games where there's like a image of a bird and you have to find the bird in the background and click it. And it's revealing a story. but the story is solved the riddle of the mysterious murder at the hotel noir so jeff and i got very invested in this game trying to figure out who murdered grandma looks like a DVD

menu it does look like a DVD menu yeah oh yeah that's that's one of the levels this sucks here's a no you don't even know what you're talking about hey gab it's phenomenal find Hat, saw it, listen, it could be difficult. Wait till you have a time on it, Eric. And wait till, you might be in the second video before you discover you can pan left and right. That's true. There's all sorts of reveals.

We filmed four of these. And the story ends. Spoiler warning. The story ends with a random to be continued. You do not get a resolution to this case. No. It just goes to be continued. To the point where Jeff and I didn't realize,

that the game was technically over and we filmed an additional part trying to figure out how to continue and establishing that that is actually how it ended. We had to Google it and in the video I found a steam thread where somebody said, hey

am I crazy or does this game just stop? Is there supposed to be more game here? And one of the developers responded and said, don't worry, more coming soon. And that was from April. So you've made a a four-part series where the fourth video happens after the end? Yes.

Yeah. Technically the end is in the third part and we didn't know that the game it ended. What did you do? What is the fourth part? What are you talking about? The fourth part is trying to figure out if there's more game and then getting some achievements and trying some of the different modes that we hadn't played within the game.

Because it's like a five-star scenario. Yeah, we made, the fourth part's great. So it's a three-part story and a four-part, like, establishing and processing everything that's happened to us to this point. But I learned yesterday, I've never noticed this, that if you go on the Xbox store, if you go into a game, there's a tab that says more info and you click it. And it tells you like some stuff about the game.

It gives you an email for the studio. It gives you an address for the studio. And it gives you a phone number for the studio. I don't know where this phone number leads. Jeff, should I phone this number to see if we can get an update on mystery hotel port too? Please, please. Yeah, do it.

As fans of the series, I think we deserve an answer. I think we do. I think an update would be nice in some respect. My grandparents send me these animated e-cards for all of my birthday and Christmas stuff. It looks just like these. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You think it's dumb, but wait till you have to find 15 things and you've only got 60 seconds, and if you miss click, it counts against you because you're trying to get the multiplier to get five stars. It's no fucking joke, all right? It's no fucking joke. Did you get the e-card? My grandparent sent you, by the way, for your 50th birthday? I didn't. Did they send me one? Yeah. You gotta check your email, man. You gotta find it, man. You gotta find it.

Oh, no, I didn't send it to my old rooster teeth. Oh, they definitely did, right? No, I gave them your current one. Oh, shit. I'll have to look at my spam. I want it desperately. Yeah, because it comes from the e-card service, not from like an actual person. Oh. So I don't know what time it is. I don't know whose number this is. I don't know what time it is where this place is. What is E. Does anyone know what country? or place E.E. is? E. E. E. What? What is E? What is E? It's Estonia. It's the Republic of Estonia. What? What time is it in Estonia right now? Do we know? It'd probably be like 6 or 7 p.m. Okay. I'm calling. 7.30. 7.26 p.m. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why are we calling Estonia?

Well, we want to get an update on the game. And what are you going to ask? Maybe you can leave a message. Hello? Hi, is this two cake studio? Hi, yes. Hi, I was calling, just so you know, I'm on a podcast, I'm recording podcast. I just finished Mystery Hotel Hidden Objects.

Absolutely loved it. I saw that it ended with a 2B continued. Is there any information on when that? next part will come out hello I'm glad to hear it sorry yeah no problem thank you for your feedback yep next game in this gender December no no no we have them we have many many games and uh oh awesome we just have we don't have any game in uh hidden i got to say i got to say guys while he's talking i missed this and okay the one that just calls random numbers well uh thank you

so much for picking up and i hope you're having a wonderful day and uh i can't wait for the next part of mystery does not know what you're saying i'll talk to you later all right oh you'll talk to him later we'll be in touch I'll talk to you later. Yeah, I'll call him. So I didn't hear quite a lot of that. So he said December? I don't, first, I, he, can you give us a recap?

We couldn't really hear. Okay, so I, it was also a little bit hard to hear him because of you guys. We're so much louder than he was. Uh, I think, first of all, I think that that is just that dude's private number. I feel so bad. I thought it would go to like a studio line. He's just at home watching TV. This man is Stonia just getting randomly asked about.

his game. From what I could gather, first of all, he appreciated the feedback. He was excited about that. I don't think he understood 90% of the words I said. It was like he was trying to process them, which is very understandable. Yeah. Getting called at 7.30 at night by a random Canadian. Yeah. And also, it gave me an Ontario number when I put it in. Which really threw me, because I don't think I called Ontario. But maybe I did. I'm not sure. So that was an international call? I assume that that would be an international call. I don't know how to feel about it.

Because everything's listed like it's international. But did you have to do a plus, like a country code? I did, I did a plus one. Because it was, I just wrote out the number how it was displayed, and it gave me an Ontario thing. I don't know. So wait. So you're plus one.

You put North America on an Estonian phone number? You just called, you just called a guy. Did he know what? Did he know about the game? Yeah. He said that they had plenty of games. It was the right number. I wonder if he just re-routed a...

Oh, maybe. I don't understand how you put a plus one and it got you to who you needed to stop. I don't... I put the number in that was displayed and we got theirs. But so, okay, it doesn't sound like there's a date for... But there are other games apparently on the way. Yeah, we'll have to review. I'll have to go into the audio.

So, we're... never going to catch this fucking killer. You know, I think there is a to be continued. Maybe there's going to be some more excitement about mystery hotel hidden objects and they'll see a bump and they'll be like, we've got to get back to this. Like, are we just going to spend the rest of our lives at this lady's mansion by the water while she has us, because wasn't she going to hire us to solve her own mystery? I don't even know what that is.

Yeah. And so we got a lot of questions. Do we want to call anybody else, any other games before we move on? So it's, is this the studio? Because there's a lot of other games that they have. I don't, what, when you say, is this the studio, what do you mean by that? I'm sharing my screen right now. Oh.

Is there a world where we play Cyber Wild West? I mean, there's, I might be real into this. Dude, I'll be honest with you, Cyber Wild West looks a hell of a lot like hidden hotel mystery objects. So I'm like the kind of thing that's going to, in 20 minutes in, I've got a headache. This looks like the kind of thing that I think Gavin, your wife would really like to do. Is this a thing that Meg would like?

Hidden Objects with Edgar Poe. I've never heard of called Edgar Poe. Time trap. Andrew, I think we have a lot We have a lot of hidden objects to find in our future. I'm looking up Edgar Poe on the store right now. Hidden objects with Edgar Poe is on the Xbox store. Jeff, we got our next one.

Hell yeah! This one just called Aladdin. Beauty and the Beast. There's the original time trap. The original. Around the world in 80 days, hidden objects. Romance with chocolate! That's a game!

I'm very confused. You will meet new animals. It's a game called Hidden Animals, and it just says you will meet new animals. It's like a threat. The top of it is the Wikipedia logo. Detective Holmes. Oh my God. Dude,

you guys have found something that I never would have found. This is just clip art that I've had no interest in. This is incredible. We have to play every one of these games. This is a four. Is this all under two cakes?

This is, crisp app? I don't know what crisp app is. It's the same company, I guess. That's what it looks like, because I search for the developer of your hidden mystery game, and it gave me this. Okay. Oh, God.

Interesting. For everyone watching or listening on a podcast app, you can see all this on the YouTube version of this episode. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of images. Oh, man. Any other games? Do you want to call before I move on?

No, it looks like a lot of these maybe are on the app store for your telephone. And they all We'll wait Can you cool rock star And ask when GTA 6 is coming out Give me a second Just feel like we could have some Freaking news here

Yeah Wait what did you Why did you search GTA 5 Because I got to pull it up on the Xbox store So I can get to The more info But you've refused Well no

Because I'm going through the Xbox store To get the more info This guy is He's an Xbox Wizard. He showed me the other day something. I had no idea. You can unhide hidden achievements and see what the requirements are. You can just hit a button. Yeah, that's been around. And it says like unhide. A long time. I used to run a fucking guy. I was like the first dude with achievements. And I had no fucking clue. I wonder if that's something you knew about and then forgot or whether

you genuinely never knew about that. I think it probably, it was probably a feature that was added after I quit gaming or quit caring. You know, but I'll be honest, I'm, I am Achievement hunting in this fucking Power Watch Simulator game pretty hard right now, so it's so much fun. Okay, I'm going to call this number. Let's see, I have it. See where this guy. You found the number.

Oh, this one's to New York. Okay. It'd be so funny if it was the same dude. Goodbye. Rockstar East. The person you were trying to reach is not available. Goodbye. It just hangs up.

Awesome. Wow. They have an update you there. Phone number. Yeah, they locked that down. I guess we just, we'll never know when GTA 6 comes out. But I'm glad that we could get to the bottom in this murder mystery thing. We didn't get to the bottom of anything.

We may never solve the murder of who killed our grandmother, but at least we know that we can find vampire hidden objects and discover new animals. It's a new segment called Andrew gets to the bottom of it. Getting to the bottom of it is a great idea. Got to the bottom of it. And it could just be about anything. Could be about anything. He's like the dude on local news who's like, what's really going on at the massage parlor?

I find out. I haven't gone to the bottom of it yet, but I was wondering for the first time yesterday. Never had this thought. Was Mamma Mia a person? Is there a mama Mia? Is it Mama Mia? Or is it just like a phrase?

Mama Mia? Haven't got to the bottom of it yet to be continued, much like Mystery Hotel. I'll do some research. I'll loop back on that. So I don't know the origin of Mamma Mia. Could be a Mamma Mia. Isn't an Abba thing?

Because they say Mamma Mia quite a bit, but maybe that's the phrase. That is the phrase, yeah. You can originate in Sweden instead of Italy? The classic Swedish phrase. Here we go again. I want, this was the thing that I remember growing up, that I want something similar with Andrew.

This is the Turcofiles. on our on our local on our local news when I was growing up to USA and he would he would tell you that something was wrong out there he's been doing it for a long time

so here's a here's a more recent photo he would tell you it ain't right and then you like yeah and so to me this is what Andrew is getting back at is that we're doing a turkofiles thing he looks like janked up to Phil

he does it looks like through As time has progressed, his moustache would get better at scrubbing. Yeah, I agree. What was the famous dude from Houston, Marvin Zindler? Does that ring a bell? No, I have no idea who that is. He was, uh, he's this guy.

Slime in the ice machine guy? The slime in the ice machine guy. He's same dude. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's Zindler? Yeah. Marvin Zindler's, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.

Like, look at this dude. Here's Marvin Zindler's rat and roach report. Do you think Zindler ever met Zimmer? Whoa. I would assume so. Worlds are colliding. He looks like baby Billy's brother, or that they'd like be in a big time of there. Yeah, he looks like this guy's doing Bible bonkers for sure.

Uncle baby. He looks like the guy they based baby Billy on, maybe even. His hair looks so flammable. He does look very flammable. He looks like he'd go up like you wouldn't believe. Just imagining Marvin Siddler's hair on fire while Turco yells it ain't right. This is great.

We got to get Andrew into this sort of like local news sphere. That's it. That's it. Thank you so much. God, that's so good. That's awesome. So incredible.

Nick has photoshopped Andrew's face onto the Turco files. I think that's our thumbnail right there. Sorry. Sorry, bedpan. You just got replaced. Wow, man. This is really, this is a, this is incredible. We're calling phone numbers.

We're talking old TV. This is a classic. It is fun to old TV. I watched recently a thing of local news where they had Frank Ney, the mayor of Denimo at the time, arguing with a cable provider because they just approved phone-in shopping networks. And he was worried it would tank the economy. And it was so funny watching these two people go back and forth about the impact that phone-in shopping would have on the local economy, not factoring in the internet as a possibility at all.

It was great. 20 minutes of them arguing that cable providers should have to buy like a license, essentially, like a business. A license to sell? Yes. That's incredible. I couldn't imagine buying anything via phone. Yeah, what is still on sale via phone?

It's like all infomercial stuff, right? Yeah, I mean, QVC is still going, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Has any of us ever bought anything over the phone? I certainly haven't. Oh, I did. What did you buy? I bought a set of pens.

I think they were called Panali pens, right? And one of the things on the video, on the advert, was someone stabbing their fountain pen through like a tin can and then immediately being able to write. And I got the pen. And I stabbed it through a tin can and it broke immediately. I think I spent like 30 quid on this freaking fountain pen. Oh, I need to see the finale pen.

I don't think I ever used it. How old were you? Maybe 12 or something. Oh, that's awesome. You have to call somebody and buy it over the phone. At 12, you called it. You called it in. I think I asked to borrow my parent credit card and then, oh, you live again?

I'm sharing a screen. Can I ask, is this it? Is this it? It has to be. That's it, right? Yeah. And that doesn't work for, wow, in 2000, I was 12. That doesn't work for shit, by the way.

Let's go back and watch that one more time. Okay. Why would you try that with an ordinary pen? Why would it? Don't try this in the ordinary pen. You shouldn't try it with a penali either. It's crazy. Later it would show someone writing upside down, like on the ceiling and like all this other shit.

Oh, like they throw it a dartboard or something. Let's do it again. virtually indestructible. This is a thing you wanted when you were 12? I don't understand why it's oppressive that they're writing on the ceiling. I mean, they, it was marketed to 12-year-olds. This commercials from Cartoon Network. I assume that's where I saw it.

I can't imagine what a 12-year-old would want with this pen either. Like, they clearly... You can write upside down. It can write... Listen, it can write on a... anything. Wood, plastic, glass, upside down. Unless you stab it with a can in which case, yeah, we're not right on

anything. Couldn't write on shit. Well, not after you, broken. Gavin. Go back, good, good, go to the end of the ad. Why didn't this come up during Does It Do? We could have done a segment where we, like, we visited Gavin's childhood.

Oh, Andrew, you got a cool. There you go. There you go. There you go. I see if I can get me to go. So you want to you want a plus 4-4 and then take off the zero? I don't. know what the fuck you're talking about. I'm just writing the number on the screen. Okay. Plus 4-4, subtract the first zero. The number on the screen. It's not going to be the same guy we already talked to, and he's

going to go, how are you, what did you do? It said that the number I reached is not for incoming service. Please check the number and call like, okay, Gavin, you mean, tell me what do you want me to do? What am I doing? Plus, plus 4-4. So just 4-4, or do I have to do a plus sign? how do I plus hold down zero okay there we go okay got it got it 4 4 and take off the zero

and then start with the 8 and do the rest of the number 870 okay I got you I got you now 2 spacing on that last set slide okay here we go why did they advertise this to children it worked as well

it's a checkbook pen is what they're five bonus pen is what they're it's that kind of deal or at the end they're like calling but there's no there's no ring I've never experienced this I don't think it's actually calling

allowed 28 days for delivery I must have been so excited for a month you were going maybe it came early maybe it came early and it didn't and uh and then you broke it that it totally bent the front telling your

Friends, you can't play today. You got to get home and check the mail. I can't hang out for school today, guys. I got to check the mailbox. I got an important package. Incredible. I'm so glad we found that. That's incredible.

Did you guys ever order something? No. Oh. I mean, I ordered it. I ordered it. I ordered stuff through the mail a lot, you know, T-shirts and music and shit, you know, from like SST catalogs and state stuff, but... I can't remember.

I mean, I'm old as dirt. I must have. I just can't remember ever. Like, other than, like, ordering flowers or something, you know, over the phone. I've done that. Player. I don't even know if they do number-based ordering now. Like, I watched one of these recently.

I watched, I was up late, like, maybe a week ago. And I saw that Larry King was doing a special about oversized prostates and men. and it was just an infomercial for a pill. That was an hour long, and I thought it was hilarious that they were still running deceased Larry King promos about how great these prostate pills are.

And I don't think they had a number call for ordering. Although I wasn't really watching it. I was trying to fall asleep to it. If you're not on our Patreon, you may not have seen, but the Larry King's keys are up on the wall of our office now.

Yeah, that was a really good move. A master stroke from you, Gavin. That was fantastic. That's exciting. The only thing more powerful than a girl's girl, a girl's girl with a law degree. All's Fair is the fierce new legal drama about a team of iconic women in friends, created by Ryan Murphy and starring Kim Kardashian, Naomi Watts, Nisi Nash Betts, Tiana Taylor, Matthew Nosska, with Sarah Paulson and Glenn Close.

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and Ronald McDonald's house stays with them. I do have some bad news where we missed out on the Joan Riverske. We got outbid We lost it So I have to go back You can't win them all You can't win them all But we got the Larry King keys

And honestly Any of the ones that we lose You don't even want those Those aren't very good keys Like the ones that we get Those are like the real keys If for whatever reason Somebody else gets like these other keys

Those keys actually suck How much did Joan Rivers key go for I think it went for $850 That's steep Have you talked in content About what else was that estate sale? Yeah, we talked about it.

Okay. Oh, no, I don't think we did. I thought you were, sorry. So they removed that. Oh, they pulled that. So what I was looking, when they brought up that there was a Joan Rivers estate sale, I was searching, combing through, looking for keys as one does. And in the midst of my search, I was shocked to discover that they were selling an urn of

Joan Rivers' dog. the remains and it came with the earl. Can you imagine? I was like, who would buy this? Why are they selling this? And she was like a really big pet lady. Like that dog meant so much to her. Can you imagine that above your fireplace

and people be like, oh, who's that? Did you feel like it's Joan Rivers dog? Yeah. Who would do that? So I was very fascinated by it. I then backed out and I realized that wasn't the only dog urn with remains they were selling. they were selling there was a second set that was like her most prize dog but it came with like

a time magazine cover with her and the dog on it and like a caller and like all this other dog stuff uh there was also just a random x-ray shot of one of her dogs was another listing in it so after the auction i went back and i was like who bought this and for like how much there's no way anyone bought this and they had completely removed the listing that was just the urn itself and then the second one that had an urn they removed the urn from the thing so it was just all of the like memorabilia of the dog essentially probably broke some laws doing that they didn't realize no urns were sold but it was the craziest thing i think i've seen in any auction an item i would never even consider whatever be possible for sale and we at no point could

considered buying it. Absolutely not. It was, I shared it with like, I think you, you posted the listing to be like, oh my God, this is insane. And I just replied, I'm out. Yeah. You replied, I'm out. And I went, we were never in. This is not, this is horrific. And once I found out everybody else was out, then I was also out. And thought, yeah, that is a bad idea. We wouldn't want that. Of course not. Ridiculous. Not, not, no, thank you. Not regulation. That's not who, That's not who we are. Who do you think is the most scattered person? Oh.

Hunter S. Thompson got launched into, like, space. He has to be up there, right? When he cover a lot of ground being in space? Who was that, I'm sorry? Hunter S. Thompson? He got shot into space. Is that right? I think he did, yeah.

Is he all in the same bag, though? Like, he's not all spread apart. I mean, I feel like the bag integrity comes into question after. Didn't they do that? was Scotty? I think they did. Oh yeah, it did. Didn't they take his ashes up to space?

Not actually Scottish. Oh. What is it? It might have been. So you're just kind of saying shit? You're just kind of hanging out saying shit. Could be a fun fact, starring Gavin. Could be a fun fact.

I'm going to start a show called Not Anywhere Near the Bottom of this. Starting at the top I feel like Unless he specifically requested that I could see him being upset That he's in space He spent so much time there Fictionally

What you think it's like being sent to work Yeah Like I bet you Jeff You wouldn't want your ashes Spread and blood gulch Like it He's from Vancouver Really?

He's from Vancouver Oh, that's right. Yeah, throw me out by the weird tree, please. Fing spreading blood flow. Who's kicked into the teleporter. No, I want my ashes spread in deputy where they belong. Ooh, of course. On the site of the billboard?

Yeah, I want to get, I want to get licked up by the deputy dog. Then you're getting scattered. That's awesome. I have a question about how you guys view movies I use my eyes well yeah that's again sometimes I mean TV sometimes TV phones all sorts of things

I'm curious about when you watch a movie does the world exist outside of the frame that is being presented what like the crew it's going to be very difficult for me to articulate this

so when I watch a movie nothing exists to those characters outside of what's currently in frame what like unless specified unless specified unless shown or like discussed nothing like everything all the information is within the frame itself there's no just because it is in said place does not mean other things are in it like they could be in new york but unless they show a pizza hut or say there's a pizza hut I'm not assuming there's a Pizza Hut in this universe. We've talked about

this something similar in the past and I yeah, I view it as taking place in my real world so Pizza Hut exists because Pizza Hut exists to me. Like anything that's happening on a screen, I just feel like I'm watching a well edited reality show about some people

in New York City or wherever it takes place. So if so in a sense everything in the world exists to those characters outside of the crew. Like, they have no awareness of the crew, but anything else that exists is in it. Well, I think unless I'm told that something doesn't exist, I assume it exists in that time period. If I, if I witnessed a movie being filmed, am I technically in the movie even though

I'm not in the scene? No. No. I'm going to say yes. So that means like every time you see someone in a movie, you think there's like a medic stood nearby? No. No, I'm saying. The example I'm stating, none of the crew exist in this universe is a perspective of this. So I'm just... But you might? Why do you exist if the crew doesn't?

Right. Because, well, let's... If you're saying that everything is based in your reality... then you are in your reality. You're part of the reality. So if you are observing the filming of it, I think that technically means that you're in the movie based on that.

So are you saying you're in last of the season two because they filmed it in the NIMO and you saw them film one day? Oh. What have you witnessed? Paparazzi. What movies are you in, Andrew? I'm in paparazzi,

depending on your perspective of it. You pull a paparazzi? If the piss woman was in the movie, would you technically be in that movie because you witnessed it? Yeah, if it was about, if it was a true inspired based on a true story. What if it's a piss fetish video? Does that mean you're in a piss fetish video? Yeah, there we go, Eric. So you're in that universe. I guess I'm in that universe. I was trying to decide if I were, or figure out if I'm technically in any universes.

I would say no because of how I view movies. This looks like shit, buddy. I saw it in theaters. It's not good. Which Baldwin is that? Daniel? So you saw this, you saw this being filmed? Yeah, I was in Victoria at the time, and I was, there was a pier nearby, and it was like, whoa, there's a whole film crew thing down there, and that's wild, so I just watched it the entire evening. That picture's incredible.

Like, if, if this was like the internet in the 90s and it was loading from the top down, it would be Alec Baldwin until like just below his eyes. What's so funny about it is it's Daniel Baldwin next to a guy that looks like Stephen Baldwin's The guy looks so much like Stephen Baldwin. It freaks me out. They look very similar. I've learned about this because I was like, oh, what's the film set? And then I saw on the paper the next day that Dennis Farina was filming a movie at the pier. And based on my research, this is the only film that fits that Dennis Farina filmed in Victoria.

So I'd be in paparazzi. So any scene in the pier, which I vaguely remember being a plot point of the movie, I think one of the people, I think one of the photographers lives in a houseboat, or lives in a boat, I guess it's not a houseboat. If you live in a boat, does it become a houseboat? Yes. Yeah. Okay. Well, then houseboat is fun. I was just curious.

It's the only thing, like there's never been. Well, I see what you mean. Like, if it was a dinghy with a sleeping bag, I wouldn't call it a houseboat. Yeah. That's definitely not a houseboat I was just curious how you view movies In that way I don't really even know what you mean

Yeah, me neither But I'm on your side As long as you're on my side Yeah absolutely Me and Nick are with you bud We got your back I feel like there's two ways to view a movie And either that nothing exists

Outside of what has been said Or is on screen Or everything exists outside of the crew So in either or scenario Two ways. Those are the classic two ways to watch a movie. Two ways. I just don't think anyone making a movie thinks about either of those two options. I don't know what other options they would think about.

Yeah, but I mean, Andrew thinks about it and he was in paparazzi, so. They're just making the story. I don't think they're thinking about the crew or who's watching. Well, let me be clear. I don't think I'm in paparazzi because in the scenario in which I'm in paparazzi means that the people that worked on it but weren't in it aren't involved in it. What are you saying? Which feels broken. Could we get you into the I and D.B. credits as viewed piercine filming?

Uncredited? Yeah. I think technically you could get credited in any film uncredited. Well, any film that was in your lifetime that was filmed? I think just any film in general. Because you're uncredited. What are the rules on uncredited? Like, I watched the Jiminy Glick movie recently and Willem-Defos in that.

but he's uncredited in it. Yeah, but you see, it's in the sentence you just said. He was in it. Yeah, but he wasn't credited. Right. Was he? Yeah, but yeah, how in it was he? Was he watching it being filmed from across the pier?

Or, okay. Well, also to be fair, you would have to know Willem Defoe to know Willem Defoe is in that movie. It's like a side shot from the back. He's barely in it. Can we, Nick, can we put in the, you know, in the credit sometimes we have all the the supporters on Patreon. names. Can we put Willem Defoe uncredited?

Please. That'd be great. That'd be a great edition. Thanks, Nick. You got it. That was, and that, that's, that's my movie corner. It's Andrew's other second Andrew's movie corner? Andrew gets to the bottom of it. Andrew's movie corner.

We got it all on this one. Yeah, I feel like we got to the bottom of that. I feel like in this episode, did Andrew got to the bottom of it? I got blindfolded and spun around. I don't know what's happened to me. You don't understand. And after the explanation of the two ways to view a movie in my eyes, you still don't get it?

I get it even less. If you were going to explain it one more time. If you were just going to like succinctly wrap it up one more time for us. Sincely wrap it up one more time. Either nothing exists but what is seen or mentioned or everything exists

but the people that are making the film. That's the best. way you've described it yet, thank you. I feel like it was similar to run to you, but I understand. The comments will be on my side on this one, and I think everyone's on my side on this long. You're probably right.

You make a lot of sense to a lot of people. Anyway, I guess I'm not in paparazzi. I don't think so. I think Meg will be on my side on this. Uncredited. Uncredited. Willem DeFoe. I wonder who is the most uncredited appearances.

Oh, like, who's the least credited, but the most... The least credited, most credited. Yeah. Can I talk about... That's something I saw in Detroit. I went with Jeff. Yeah, we need to talk about.

You went to Detroit with Jeff. I think that's probably a next episode conversation at this point. We're an hour in. We're an hour into this. This is a tiny thing. This is a little preview. A little preview of the Detroit experience. Do you want to see the scariest thing I saw in Detroit?

Yes. Oh, no. I was just watching Jeff drink this drink. Okay, so it's an orange drink. No caffeine, very long sodium. Oh my God. It had 90s. 26% of a daily allowance of

Shown. Was it good, Jeff? Jeff, was it good? All it was was an orange Fago I got with dinner. Oh, it was a Fago. Yeah, when in Detroit, you know, drink like a local. They drink

Vernors and Fago. Yeah, they do. I like that it was bragging about some of the features of this drink. Like, no caffeine. Very low sodium. Forget the fact that it has almost 50 grams of sugar in it. Well, yeah, you got a overindex on the sugar to make up for the low

sodium and the caffeine. That's fair. My eyes always popped out. You just helped me get to the bottom of this, Gavin. Okay. I never thought about what the percentages mean on these things. It's daily value. What did you...

It says above it. It says percent. Yeah, I just have never really read it. Oh. So you just... So you would just see things and it was numbers. Yeah, because I'm typically, if I'm looking at a bottle, I'm looking for either a phone number or like where it was made.

I got to call that. and see what the sequel to this soda is. What's next for this soda? Can you help me out? Do the people that made the soda exist in the world you're drinking it? Yeah. Andrew, are you in this soda?

No. Okay. Definitely not. I didn't even witness it be bottled. I'd also like to point out, I don't drink sugar sodas ever. I've been a diet soda fan my entire life. I just, you know, every once in a while,

you've got to cut loose when you're in a special place. Oh, yeah, we're traveling. We're ready. Was that a dinner? No, that was the sandwich. It was in the museum. Oh, I had limited options. I tried to order a Diet Coke and was told Diet Coke didn't exist in the 1940s, and this is a period accurate diner.

And so I didn't have much choice, so I ordered an Orange Tegro because it was nothing else. Wait, what? Is this real? Yeah, yeah. They told you it didn't exist in the... the 1940s and this is a period accurate diner? It was a period accurate diner. Yeah, they said like dead. Yeah, there was no Diet Coke in the 1940s. You can only order what's on the list. And it was like that or cheer wine. And so I got, I got the orange fago. I got some, some bad news from them. I don't think the best before of April 2026 would have been a best before in 1940.

No, in 1940, it would have been expired by a number of years. That is crazy. They, I can't believe. Dude, there's, listen, that, there's a couple of other stories related to that lunch that I think are more interesting than the Fago sugar count. We'll get to it in the next episode. Consider that in a preview. We watched, we, we, we did, we saw a lot of employee interactions. I'll say that. What the fuck? It was bizarre.

Andrew, what did you think the percentage was of? I guess I didn't really ever think about it Or maybe it was like Do you think it was the percentage of the soda? Yeah, like it could be the percentage of the soda Like it's 18% of the liquid is sugar Or like when you order Boba You have to ask like

It's like 70% sugar if you want Or 20% sugar or whatever You think someone requested 48 grams of sugar? Maybe I guess Listen I did know it was not a remember the name scenario where it was going to reach 100% and distributed across these things. I just looked at it and went number percentage thing. I don't know. But it is interesting. It changes my view on it because I would drink that and you're focusing on the

fact that that's what, 96% of your sugar allowance. What it's basically saying is for the rest of the day you can only have 4% as a recommended around two more grams. Yeah, but I'm looking at it saying I got 98% of my sodium cap still. I'm potassium. I would hate to live in a world in which I have a dietary cap space every day. Like a hard cap. Well, like you just wouldn't be able to consume. Yeah, like you lose the right to consume.

Like there's no overages, like a strict like NHL style salary cap, but based on these allotments. I mean, that would probably be a really healthy way to live. you would then just be on water is there like a second apron you can go into maybe there has to be a way to like trade previously eating meals

to free up salary cap I think that's cool to throw it up yeah I'd start gambling on if I was going to use all my cap in one day and just try to get more cap for it for like the future you know the NBA is falling apart right now while we're having this conversation it is pretty

exciting. Pretty insane. If you're not a sports fan, a player named Terry Rozier, and then the coach of the Portland Trail Placers, Chauncey Phillips, have been arrested for illegal sports betting. Arrested by the FBI. Sorry. Arrested by the FBI. In an FBI sting. Crazy. And the FBI announced that there will be more arrests. Yep. I think Terry Rozier would be very honored that you referred to the NBA as falling apart with his arrest. I mean, it's not him specifically it's the shakeup of sure the ramifications I just think scary Terry would be pumped

to hear that I agree I agree he hey listen ex-Boston Celtic loved him loved him when he was scary for us hasn't panned out his NBA career hasn't really panned out outside of Boston no since then unfortunately I feel like he can't be scary Terry anywhere else that was very specific to that playoff series

I'm sure he took the nickname elsewhere but I used to have the shirt that was like him and the scream mask yeah yeah What a disappointment. I'm gonna, I'm gonna buy this. What are you gonna buy? Oh, Gavin found the pen. No, it's the pen.

He found the pen again. Can we do it? Supplemental where you, yeah, do it, do it, buy this. I want to re-buy the pan. Yeah, let's do it. And then let's stab it through a can. This is great.

This is a good place to wrap up on two. Let's do it. Yeah, we'll wrap up the episode on Gavin will do a test of all the things they advertised it can do to see if it actually does them write on plastic. I'm going to write on upside down. I'm going to write on upside down. down. All right, Jeff, take us out.

I'm going to take us out, much like I did last week when I ended with an idea, dropped the bomb of carguing. I think the whole internet was a buzz. Everybody's excited about the idea of carguing going forward. They said, yes, more carguing. We want it. Brilliant idea.

Jeff's so clever. Everybody loves Jeff. Is he getting taller? Is he getting younger? Is he getting better looking? His ideas keep improving. Is he the funniest he's ever been? Carguing. Here's the new one. This isn't mine, though. This came from Emily, she asked me, uh, when are you guys going to fill those sandbags? And I said, oh, I don't know, we'll get around to it at some point. And she said, well, how are you going to do it?

And I said, no, but like, are you going to film it? And I was like, why would we film that? And she goes, you're going to sand the bags and not film it. And I go, what does sand the bags mean? And she said, that's for you to figure out. And I thought, oh, shit, I guess that is for us to what if it's old listener sand. What if it's regulation? Listen to sand. You know what would be fun. And I'm not saying we should do this. But it would be fun to break into my old yard and fill it with sand from my old yard. Like three of the words just take up a bunch of dirt. We're definitely not doing that. We're not

breaking into your old yard. Oh my God. We should either do that or put Joan Riffis dog in it.