F**kface - The Tandem Noose // Our High Schools [160]

Episode Date: June 28, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about OG names, hangman, noose strategies, zoltar changing a tire, Ina Fried, TV changes, the national anthem, high school songs, sponsoring a high school, the school uniform store at the mall, buying a work shirt, fake work aka ferking, marathon hiding, crisps, and recreating a photo. Sponsored by Shady Rays http://shadyrays.com and use code FACE Shopify http://shopify.com/face and Honey http://joinhoney.com/face Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma, is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics, groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics. Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation of Beastrin.

Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice. Your choice, that is. From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills. And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in their weak points, use the terrain and trick, trip, or throw foes off high cliffs or raging waters.

Visit dragonsdogma.com to buy the game and start your epic quest today. That's D-R-A-G-O-N-S-D-O-G-M-A.com to learn more. I wonder if Andrew's going to get in at exactly 12 o'clock with Gavin. Well, that should be, I mean, they're always a little early on that, so it'll be in 12 seconds, but it'll be a little sooner.

Let's see. Probably eight seconds then. Eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Wow. Okay. Do you want to just start or? Are we being pranked right now? I don't know what's going on.

The blind side. We can't we can't do a blind side. We need an episode. We need the episode. Is this Andrew? Are you there? you there sorry yeah i got a call um i was gonna jump in when gavin jumped in to try to that's what we thought that's what we thought yeah uh but he's not here fedex called i don't know where gavin he's eating some avocado toast last i heard oh boy look who's barely on time oh fuck you are on time my mic wasn't working yeah it's within a minute right so does that count or yeah yeah you're in time what what did you need the

extra 48 seconds for today i was rebooting uh classic sweating i was sweating it yeah and i wanted to do a little gag where i would join two seconds later. So Eric could count to 60 and I just blew it. I mean, we were counting because we assumed that Andrew was going to join at the same time you did. And I figured you were going to like wait the two seconds and be exactly on time. And then neither of you did that. So we just kind of sat here and went, well, is this a prank? I got a call from FedEx and we got chips in the mail, so I had to make sure. I had to make sure everything was okay.

I can't imagine that was them that fast. Yeah, I have no idea what the package is. I hope it is. What an odd energy to begin this episode with. Oh, I feel great. Hello, you're energy off? You weren't on the

odd side when we were all there waiting where Gavin and Andrew were at the same time and what part of the bit we were in right now. Anyway, hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me as always, Andrew Payton and Gavin Freed. Decided to go nickname-less today and just go with the OG names, uh, the ones that God and our parents gave us.

And, uh, and then also for me, I guess, uh, uh, a judge cause I changed my name. Uh,

this is episode 160 of volume two, uh, season 98. He didn't choose it though. No, but he could not let the judge just decide it. Well, first off,

it was a, she, uh, she allowed me to have the name though decide it. Well, first off, it was a she. She allowed me to have the name, though. I had to go to her and say, may I please have this name? And then she said, yes. So she granted me the name. I see. I thought you were saying your new nickname is the judge.

I was very confused. Has God named anyone? Didn't he? If only there was a painting about it. Yeah, I don't know. I didn't see. That part wasn't covered in a fresco, so I don't know. You're still T-Bone, right?

T-Bone's still, like, it's there? I know you're not using it right now. I'm still T-Bone. I just didn't feel like a nickname episode. You gotta keep the audience guessing. Gotta keep you guys guessing, you know? Andrew tried to get us back in sync before this started. He suggested

a quick game of Halo right before we started. Did you guys play? No, because I was having breakfast trying to stuff some breakfast down, so we opted for a little game of Hangman. We both don't know how to play Hangman. I think you're supposed

to do a perimeter first. I don't think you're supposed to go straight to the bodyman is what I was quickly established. I think you're supposed to do a perimeter first. I don't think you're supposed to go straight to the body. No, I was drawing the frame. Oh, I thought that was my body. I thought I was already. Okay, never mind. No, I just misinterpreted. I immediately thought it was Wordle is how I played it.

Gavin laid out the blank spots and I said shrimp. And then there was confusion. But we got there. So who won Hangman? He guessed it right. It was crisps. You know, I don't even view Hangman as a winner. I feel like it's a collaborative effort.

I feel like you either win or lose together. If you get your body drawn hanging by the neck, you've lost, I think. I don't know. I view that as our body. I don't view it i feel like you want me to win our body i'm hanging us yeah yeah gavin do you remember when we used to work at achievement hunter and we did uh we did uh those hardcore shows like hardcore monopoly

when we played monopoly with real money do you think anybody's ever played hardcore hangman or it's just oh no yeah well according to adrew it'll be a tandem noose we would just both be through it yeah to save money i guess yeah oh absolutely it was really fucked up that you did that to us but I'm glad that you know I was able to figure out the word we're okay do you think that'll be one loop and both of our heads are through it would be like one rope with two loops I think one rope two loops for sure yeah I wonder if that exists first of all you think my head is gonna fit through a loop with your head there's no way my head needs its own loop oh it needs a separate attachment oh i i think i've got a better chance of surviving if i get

hanged with you oh yeah for sure absolutely why do you think that i don't know i just feel like the physics of it probably wouldn't work out for the rope well so you think you'd live oh maybe although i think there's a lot to it you've got to get the weight right when it comes for the rope. So you think you'd live? Ah, maybe. Although I think there's a lot to it. You've got to get the weight right when it comes to hanging people and the distance. Because I think it's technically considered not very humane if your head comes off.

I think it's technically considered not very humane. Yeah. If the rope breaks, do they have to let you go? Isn't there like a three strikes rule where if it fails three times it's like ah you were destined for the

for the future you think there's a three strikes rule with hanging oh shit man the rope broke let's try it let's try it one more time but you better be sure oh it broke again this is the last chance we have to fucking kill

this guy it's like you get a firing squad and the gun jams and they're like i guess you can go home only brought one bullet i think if the if the rope is too long and you just land on the ground you should be able to walk away. We got a new hangman. So let me, let me pause it. This, what if it is two nooses on either side of one rope? What's the plural of noose?

New, new sigh, new piece. Like what if, I guess it would be kind of like this. And then you just sort of like oh it's like a tug of war yeah that was fun okay so what if yeah what if it's at ground level and you just have to run in opposite directions and whoever dies first loses i don't you think it

would like tighten as you you ran the other way like would tighten absolutely it would tighten i don't know how you would tighten the other persons without tightening yours that's the thing it's like a that's the thing the tougher dude wins i guess the tougher neck wins is that who you want to live tough neck yeah you want tough yeah this just sounds like hardcore tug of war to be honest yeah i mean what's gonna happen there if the rope's long two people are gonna go full tilt in either direction and both people's necks will break how long is the rope is it hundreds of yards of rope is it just the longest like a hundred meters of rope. That'd be the most terrifying sprint of your life. There's something really funny about the idea of like a summer intern executioner constantly fucking things up, not tying the knots right, ordering too long of rope.

What would your strategy be if you had a hundred yards of rope attached to your neck and then somebody else's neck on the other end? I'd just be chasing the other person, I think. Just try to stay up with them? Yeah, just try to keep the slack there? Eventually try and catch up to them and maybe hook a bit of slack around their neck and just hang them manually? I think I would run to a stop sign and then I would wind myself around the stop sign to protect myself. And then hope they don't notice and see if they just accidentally hang themselves

trying to pull me. So from like a driver's bystander perspective, they're like stopping at the stop sign. They see someone running with a rope around the neck, running around the stop sign. Like a human tetherball. Yeah. And then suddenly the rope goes taut

and then they go flying and pull out the stop sign. That's probably what they're going to see. How hard is this person pulling? They're going to pull a stop sign out of the ground? That shit's in there with concrete. You don't know what the other person's done. He might have gone and picked up a couple of dumbbells and jumped out of a window. You don't know what he's done.

You think dumbbells would jumped out of a window you don't know what he's done you think dumbbells would do it oh what if you like hopped on somebody's car like the hood of their car what if you hop in a city bus it's almost like it's the same idea of like pulling your tooth out by like tying like a rope around it but it's just escalated to the highest level but you're pulling someone's neck out i i feel like if it was you and i gavin i would just we would i'd have to that's how our life now that's just how we live we would be 100 yards away from every slow-mo shoot in the woods somewhere how long how long do you think like let's say we did this as an experiment. How long do you think you guys could peacefully coexist before one of you accidentally kills the other? I think until the first night of sleep.

And then Andrew would have a dream about trials and lurch upright and hang me... Yeah, but no, no, no. You'd be fine because you could tuck him in finally. Oh, and then he wouldn't be able to go anywhere. You could watch over him like you want to do. Or maybe he could be in the bath and I could be in the bed, and it'd just be pretty peaceful. No, I don't want to be in the bath.

I want to be in the bed. Stop going in there, then. Well, I feel like I poorly explained. I was in the bath sleeping because it's literally the only place I could sleep with my lungs. I couldn't. There was nowhere else that I could sit upright. As a sentence. It was like a means to an end for you.

Yeah, it wasn't. I wasn't. I've never chosen the bath as my preferred destination for sleeping. It was just literally the only place I could get sleep. I mean, for someone who sleeps in the bath as much as you, that's a crazy sentence. But I don't. I don't.

It's not a regular occurrence. Sometimes I'm not on purpose. Sometimes, you know, you just, it happens. But that's never the goal. Is that audio recording content that you sent me? I don't know. Is it? My lungs?

Are we talking about my lungs? That was fucking brutal, dude. Gavin played it for me. Oh, yeah. I don't, I, like, like look i'm all for putting everything out that people want to hear and everything and this is just going to create a fervor for people that want to hear i don't think anybody should hear that like i really truly don't think like i've thought about it many times since i heard it and it has made me go i wish i never heard that

were you awake asleep i was what do you mean? When that was recorded? Yeah. I was awake. I recorded it. Okay. That was just me trying to exhale. Dude, my lungs sounded like Chernobyl. Like with the radiation counter. Like the... It sounded like...

Just how crackly it was. It sounded like Zoltar changing a tire. That's how I would equate it to... If we're not going to play it, that's what it sounded like. Oh, man. Zoltar changing attire is such a great visual.

So how are the lugs? I mean, better. Getting better. Not as bad as they were. You're in the bed now, right? Yeah. Yeah, I am. Okay. Okay, good.

For the most part. For the most part. Does that mean you're still sleeping in the bathtub sometimes? If I really need to, yeah. But mostly I've been able to, like, I'm kind of on the end of it now. It sucks. I got, like, pneumonia or, like, bronchitis on the tail end of having COVID. So it was, I was feeling better.

And then, honestly, it may have been your fault, Gavin. I was trying to track like what happened and you killed me with the cheese roll question. And I wondered if laughing that hard somehow opened myself up. I was feeling better. It just gave you tuberculosis or something. Yeah, exactly.

It was a consumption laugh. It was. But we're improving. Yeah, exactly. It was a consumption laugh. It was. But we're improving. I'm glad. Because that audio clip was awful. Oh, it was not good. Imagine that's your life. I was living that. That we're not putting in, decidedly.

No, I think it's not funny. No, it's not funny. I never even considered this content. I thought that was a weird question. This is a funny podcast. That's not funny. I never even considered his content. I thought there was a weird question. There's a funny podcast. That's not funny That's the goal. I mean you said that we open with suicide Well being hanged isn't suicide It very often is

Going up to the gallows is not usually how people do it. I don't think right No, but i viewed it as you putting us in that situation with hangman you put us into the high stakes of solving the work i just think i don't think yeah all right can we talk about something else that's terrible that isn't related to us give you a quick pivot i've been doing some research i'm not done with my research but we uh we got blindsided by you, Jeff, and we watched an episode of Mr. Belvedere in which Danny gets AIDS and

has to deal with that. Well, he doesn't get AIDS in the episode. He already has it when the episode starts. He gets diagnosed with AIDS within the episode. Or at least we as the viewer learn about his diagnosis. We're introduced to his diagnosis in the episode. Yes. So I was curious as looking at that person's IMDb

and I wondered if that is the worst thing that has happened to them as a character because their career is generally one-off episodes of sitcoms from that time. So I've been going through and I've been watching every appearance they have made in order. I'm still, I'm only about halfway through.

Let me tell you, they started in Chips. That's the first role they ever had was in Chips. They played a small child, I believe, was the role. You don't even see their face. The only thing that happens to them is they get run over by a bicycle in a park by a thief

trying to escape. That's how they started. And their balloon, they let go of their balloon and they cried. They're like, dang, the balloon! Is this guy the Sean Bean of kid actors? Yeah, this is like,

he's like the Star Trek red shirt of sitcoms. Yeah, so that was how they opened. The next thing I watched was Cagney and Lacey. They had an episode in. Fucking love Cagney and Lacey. Thankfully, nothing bad happened to them. However, they did witness their friend get abducted.

They were a key witness in an abduction of their friend. Next thing I watched was Alice. I don't really know what happened in Alice because I can only find an Italian version of the episode online and I had to use YouTube Translate.

Something about tortoises. I think everything was okay. I think he was just like living in the building having a good time talking about turtles. How did you not blindside us with the Italian version of Alice? We're not allowed to do a blindside apparently. How the fuck is Alice subtitled into Italian?

Why did Italy ever want that it was yeah i don't know it was uh it was all in is it done yeah it was a dubbed italian version of it and i had to watch youtube generated subtitles which i do not fully trust they kept talking about tortoises randomly um then uh they were in a v they're an episode of v i wasn't able i haven't watched that yet, but I ended it with silver spoons. I guarantee you the V episode probably didn't go well for the kid. If you know that show at all,

it's about lizard aliens that want to eat us. Yeah. Um, so I need to see that cause I assume something terrible happened, but they were also on silver spoons. Once again, they're kind of a Dennis, the menace type character in that one.

They're having a good time. Everything's fun and all good, but, they witnessed another child abduction. Once again, they're kind of a Dennis the Menace type character in that one. They're having a good time. Everything's fun and all good, but they witnessed another child abduction. They are with another group of kids that one of them is abducted. Not great. Is that everything? Is that like their entire body of work? No. I'm about

halfway through. They have a few, like they have a four episode run in General Hospital. There's probably, like, five or six other appearances. I don't... I have no idea. Before we watched that episode of Mr. Belvedere, I had no idea who that kid was, and I still don't. I can't even picture him in my mind right now.

But that kid managed to be in every great show in the 80s. Like, if you tell me that kid was in duke's a hazard or the a team they should build a fucking monument to the kid god damn what a life it's quite the run it's been fun seeing like sitcoms that i'm aware of but have never watched before and the fucking theme songs oh crazy they really they went all in at that time on what a theme song should be the 80s cared about the theme song. They really did. They did.

It was like they were all about making a great first impression. And they did it very well. So that has been my update. That is not terrible news for them. Not us. I'm glad you've gone the extra mile and researched this kid. I'm in awe of this kid. What's the actor's name again?

I believe Ian. Well, they're transgendered. this kid i'm in awe of this kid what's the actor's name again i believe in well it's the they transgendered so they go by ena fried now but they were fried at the time okay got it dang man yeah they're actually like a really big tech journalist from what i could tell now like they they have had a substantial career post that and my brief research of them. What an interesting life. I bet they've got tons of crazy stories. Oh, I imagine so. I was expecting it was going to be sort of like trying to find somebody from MVP two or whatever, or it's just, you know, there's no digital footprint, but I'd love to talk

to him in your field and be like, be to tell me that you can be honest with me. Ricky Schroeder was a prick, right? Oh, it must have been. Yeah. With Silver Spoons was like,, right? Oh, it must have been. Yeah. With Silver Spoons was like, is it just he's a rich kid? Is that the whole premise of that show? Yeah. Yeah.

He's a rich kid and he's got a race car bed and his dad's really cool. And then he's got like his mom's dead, maybe. And his dad has like an assistant or like a co-worker or maybe a girlfriend who's really cool. I think it was aaron gray and uh and then he just like he just like is a teenager that has issues and shit right eric just posted a description oh did he's ricky stratton is a spoiled rich kid who lives the life that many kids dream of but he still suffers from the problems that many teens do yeah the tone of that is such of like rich people also have problems i remember well that was what the 80s was all about right rich

people also have problems uh i uh i remember an episode where he got he broke he got broken up with by the girl he was in love with and they played that song broken wings you know take these broken wings and he was it was like fucking intense i felt really bad for him it was really depressing yeah i think that show shows how tv has changed so much where that was the thing that you wanted to see was somebody be rich it was like the early 2000s also yes like that continued through this is like look at these rich people and like they're just like there's rich and there's money and all this stuff and now you're just like these fucking that's such a great point

Yeah, but isn't that why stuff like like Fresh Prince worked because cuz will wasn't from that environment like he was like the audience Yes, exactly exactly what why Brewster's millions was such a success to same kind of thing I bet you there's an interesting transition point of like silver spoons to Fresh Prince to like Malcolm in the middle Which is for me like what i view as like a sitcom growing up where it's just poor people very poor people but but they had that with like roseanne that's true and it didn't get much poorer i think the roseanne the connors were way poorer than the malcolm in the middle family i think they were like really they were struggling it was a big part of the show right they were struggling constantly

yeah and still finding the humor in life. Yep. It's such a shame that Roseanne Barr turned out to be wacky, because that is such a good fucking show. I still, if I see it on, I'll still catch an old episode. I'll still watch it, and it still holds up. It's one of those shows that is always going to be

good, always going to be funny. Do you remember when she sang the national anthem? I was always surprised that someone with those political views remember when she sang the national anthem i was always surprised that someone with those political views would shit all over the national anthem that i like is it not the crazy andrew do you know about this do you know i you're really i have no idea you're a sports guy and you don't and you haven't seen this i feel like roseanne bar is just a hole for me like i have zero point of reference, really, for anything. Wow. Okay.

I mean, don't feel like you got to watch the whole thing right now, but you can just skip in about 15 seconds to the start of it. And this was in San Diego when this happened. So it was all over the news constantly. I remember, like, growing up, and this was, like, the craziest. Oh, it was so bad. Was that how you got canceled back then well i mean like no because she just kept it's not like it not it's not like it ended her oh it didn't no no it was a lot of controversy it it didn't do her any favors but no she kept going uh there was no canceling back then no okay you know they're

let me ask jeff if maybe you know is that is it better or worse than carl lewis's national anthem i was thinking about this the other day. I can't answer that. What was that one? It is... It's stunning. Like, people are booing Roseanne at Roseanne's. Carl Lewis sings this, and it is the basketball players laughing at him openly.

It's so... Does he just punch it? Oh, it's so... It's just the... Oh, man. I forgot about this. Oh, it's so brutal. Oh, man.

Oh, it's so good. I think Carl Lewis's is more entertaining oh definitely definitely should we should we take both those clips and make them duet that was something i was talking talking to andrew about recently it's. I find it so strange that in non-international games, the American national anthem is still sang at all games. What? Really? Is it really?

Well, it's like two basketball teams from America will sing the national anthem before they start. Yeah. That's weird to me. Wait, what are you saying exactly i think i don't follow exactly what you're saying it's for it's for other countries it's like if you play an international game both countries will sing the national anthem you're singing it to yourselves i like that it's

such a culture shock like the idea is that the anthem is supposed to be like a welcome to our country is how i he is yeah like like if a Premier League game, like Tottenham versus Arsenal, they sang the British national anthem, you'd be like, wait, who's here? Who's this for? No, see, it's just a different culture. In America, there is this thing called national pride. And I don't

know that it exists in the UK, but most people are even in the turmoil, political turmoil of our country right now and the division between the Democrats and the Republicans, people are proud to be from here. And it's considered like a showing of esprit de corps and unity to do the national anthem. It's even worse in the army.

If it gets everyone all together, then I guess it works. Let me pose this gavin when you hear your national anthem you hear it it's typically in an international setting or whatever yeah i'm gonna hear that and i'm gonna hear the italian one okay so do you feel pride for that national anthem like when you hear it or you're like you know like you feel something for it uh i mean, I relate to it, I guess. I think it's not a very good song, though. Yeah. Or a bit drab. Imagine hearing it so many times in your life that it means literally nothing to you. That's true.

That is where I'm at with it. Yeah. For me, it's definitely like, oh, something of note is happening, probably. Like, I should look around and see what's going on. I guess I'm an outlier i like it i don't it doesn't bother me at all i i will say the army goes too far with it like there are movie theaters on army bases you know for soldiers to go to the movies just like a you know other normal person off base and they play the fucking national anthem before the movies and

you got to stand up and salute or like put your hand on your heart and shit and it's like it's just it's i'm just seeing tommy boy it's not even new it's not even new release this is a dollar theater you know but you still gotta like that's where i'm like all right let's calm down is is the national anthem more for the people that live in the country or for the people that are visiting the country as like an introductory I always assumed it was like a brief presentation for the visiting or for the you know the other country I'm just imagining like getting arrested in a foreign country and using the I didn't hear the national anthem as a defense I didn't I didn't know how the rules work I didn't get the vibe of this place some countries have absolutely banger national anthems, and I feel like oh What if the US and the UK

don't qualify. I don't feel great about Canada. Yeah, I would... Canada's probably the most boring one to me, no offense. I would put England would be least boring than America, than Canada, in terms of

our three countries. Yeah, I can't necessarily argue that. Although I feel like America has like three anthems, don't they? We got a song for everything. I feel like there's a lot of anthems. I feel like I hear you guys singing about different things at different times, and I get caught off guard occasionally. What do you mean?

Well, there's the Star Spangled Banner there's the star-spangled banner one. That's the national anthem, right? Yeah, but then I feel like I sometimes hear them singing a different song. America the Beautiful. America the... Yeah, that. Lee Greenwood sang a song,

and now we gotta hear that forever. God bless America. Did you see that someone someone someone shat all over your theory of being born in the middle of the decade oh yeah i did see that and i actually saw a lot of people surprisingly coming to your defense so someone pointed out that uh being born in the middle of 1975 is not the middle of the decade technically the middle of the decade. Technically, the middle of the decade is midnight on the 31st of December, 1974. But a lot of people, and I never see this on the internet, a lot of people chimed in and were like,

ah, just let him have it, man. Yeah, no, I agree. Just let me have it. It's the middle of the middle of the middle of the middle. I understand that it's not like the mathematical middle, but there's a narrative to how middle it is that I think is fun. I just found that so funny. Yeah. I thought it was pretty funny too. I want to listen to every country song now. I'm going to look into that. I want to,

cause I did every state song. There's some bangers in there. I know. That's what God, I couldn't remember for the life of me what it is you did. You just said, I want to do that. And I went, I got, I gotta swear he did this i did the state songs my favorite one i think is rhode island song because rhode island song is that i've been to every state and they suck compared to this one it's the only one that's like combative so would you expect gavin if uh let's say the los Angeles Dodgers were to play the Chicago Cubs, that they should play the California and Chicago state songs before the game. That actually,

why are you more on board for that? I mean, that would make more sense, but just also just, just crack on, just play the game. Yeah. No,

I just got to be like, what, what is, we're, we do it. Oh, we dial it in a little too deep in America, I think. Because, like, what the fuck is the state song for?

That's like every... I don't know if they do this in England, but every high school in America has its own song, too. And you're supposed to, like... You grow up thinking, like, you're supposed to learn your high school song for some fucking reason. And then your college has a song.

And then your state has a song. Maybe it happens at the university level. But, yeah, I never had a song and then your state has a song maybe it happens at the university level but I never had a song for my school I really like the idea that anytime any Chicago sports team plays they have to sing the Super Bowl shuffle as the representation of the state I'm fully supportive of that

whatever if we're doing state songs and we can move to that I'm for that I want to hear that every game every time the governor gives a presentation if we're doing state songs and we can move to that, I'm for that. I want to hear that every game. That is like the, every time the governor fucking gives a presentation and he has any kind of a press conference, they have to play Superbowl shuffle first. Jeff, do you remember your high school song?

Nah, not at all. Not for, nah, I can't. No. Do you remember yours, Eric?

Yeah. Yeah. It was just like a little, like it was just like a little, like probably like 10 line, 12 line. All right, well let's hear it. Yeah. Yeah. It was just like a little, like it was just like a little, like probably like 10 line, 12 line. All right. Well,

let's hear it. Well, I just remember that it, we were the wolf pack. That was our mascot, the West Hills wolf pack. Um, and we would talk about,

we would say hi above the river Valley stands a silver blue and black, uh, strong. I think it was strong beside our alma mater we are one we are the pack that this is the part that i remember all the time yeah so stand the silver stand the blue and stand the mighty black west hills forever our alma mater we are one we are the pack i remember that and i shouldn't i remember all of that that's pretty good would that go before a sports game yeah or at like the end of like a rally or like yeah uh rally is kind of a maybe touchy term now

uh maybe at the end of a presentation or like when they would like when they would have an assembly school assembly you'd have to say it yeah you jogged my memory I don't remember all of mine but I remember it ended with we love you, Daryl Theodore. Because I went to Theodore High School. I think it's quite nice to have a group sense of... I feel like every sports game I attended

with my school just started with a whistle blowing. There was absolutely nothing. Is everyone here? Alright, crack on. Go home. Hey, guys. Do you think we need an official face song similar to eric's wolf pack thing that's a little like yeah i like that idea like the pride of face yeah pride of face sounds great i really like that that's that we have a title take on the sun with Gear Built to Last.

Our friends at Shady Rays have you covered for the warm weather ahead with premium polarized shades at an affordable price. Shady Rays is an independent sunglasses company that offers a world-class product that's just as good as any expensive pair we've worn. Durable frames and extremely clear optics for outdoor adventures. And that's not all. Shady Rays offers the most insane protection in all of eyewear. Every pair of sunglasses is backed by lost and broken replacements.

If you lose or break your pair, even on day one, they told us they will send you a brand new pair, no questions asked. Wear your Shady Rays with confidence, because they have your back long after you purchase. Every purchase supports the Shady Rays Impact Program, which works directly with nonprofits and their communities to empower and make adventure accessible for all walks of life.

From childhood cancer patients to young adults with serious health conditions, Shady Rays is making a lasting impact on their lives through sunglasses. If you don't love your Shady Rays, exchange for a new pair or return them for free within 30 days. There's no risk when you shop. Their team

always has your back. Exclusively for our listeners, Shady Rays is giving out their best deal of the season. Go to ShadyRays.com and use code FACE for 50% off, two plus pairs of polarized sunglasses. Try for yourself the shades rated five stars by over 250,000 people. Wow, that's the best kind of notification. That's the sound of another sale on Shopify in the moment another business dream becomes a reality. Shopify is the commerce platform revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide. Whether you're selling Gerplers or fridge magnets, Shopify simplifies selling online and in-person so you can focus on successfully growing your business. Shopify covers every sales channel from an in-person so you can focus on successfully growing your business. Shopify covers every

sales channel from an in-person POS system to an all-in-one e-commerce platform. It even lets you sell across social media marketplaces like TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram. Packed with industry leading tools ready to ignite your growth, Shopify gives you complete control over your business and your brand without having to learn any new skills in designer code. And thanks to 24-7 help Thank you. confidence, and control to revolutionize your business. Now it's your turn to get serious about selling and try Shopify today. This is possibility powered by Shopify. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash face, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash face to take your business to the next level today. That's shopify.com slash face. Today's episode is sponsored by PayPal Honey,

the easy way to save when shopping on your iPhone or computer. But did you know it only takes a few seconds to get it? That means if you go to add it to your laptop or iPhone right now, you can be done before this ad read is even over. And it's fantastic to be able to knock out things like that so quickly and efficiently. I mean, we have so many things to do in a day, just being able to get something done quick, always fantastic. But you know what else works fast? Honey's deal finding abilities. Honey is the free shopping tool that scours the internet for promo

codes and applies the best one it finds to your cart. Now, how it works is imagine you're shopping on one of your favorite sites. When you check out, the Honey button appears and all you have to do is click apply coupons. Wait a few seconds as Honey searches for coupons it can find for that site. If Honey finds a working coupon, you'll watch the prices drop. I've saved money on things from clothing to tech, food. It's just so easy to use and it's great to know that if there's a coupon out there, I am getting it. And did you know that Honey doesn't just work on desktops? It works on your iPhone too. Just activate on Safari on your phone and save on the go. Getting Honey seriously only takes a few seconds.

And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid in supporting the show. Get PayPal Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash face. That's joinhoney.com slash face. Can I show you guys what they did to my high school field after I graduated?

Yeah. Oh, it's blue. It's so blue. Oh, blue. It looks... So you see it from the top and you go, oh, okay. When you see it with people on it, it's fucking insane. Oh my God.

That's hard on the eyes, dude. I don't know why they did it. It looks so bad. It's awesome. If I was squinting, I'd think I was at SeaWorld. Yeah. It's got to be discombobulating to try to catch a ball. What I've noticed is that American schools, they've got some budget, man.

They've got some bunts. Look at that. It's incredible. Yeah, big time. Big time. I'm not saying you're wrong but you're looking at a blue field and going like wow they got money like it's just a dream to do that i assume well i bet it's like a i bet there's budget in british schools but all of your buildings are like 7 000 years old so they probably have to spend most of the budget just fixing shit and

keeping them running right like nothing in america is over 30 years old so it doesn't you know everything's pretty brand new here they gotta print 20 000 towels at the end of every year that money has to go somewhere the tea towel budget yeah yeah i think all of our money goes to keeping the stuff upright and also keeping it looking old, which I think is really expensive. So stupid, but yeah, you're right. The cost of old. T-Towel budget. I'm glad I haven't thought about that in a while.

We still haven't made our T-Towel. Yeah, like we should... That was something we wanted for RTX, wasn't it? That was an RTX idea. We talked about it, yeah. We ended up settling on the museum though yeah museum sounds great yeah every time i hear anything about the museum i had to go around my house taking pictures of fucking 8 000 dumb things next to a banana for that so

that was your own doing i know like the banana thing you just complained about but you did that why is the best like the most common sense thing i had everybody knows how big a banana is yeah like if i put a cup you'd be like well i don't know how many how many ounces is that cup i don't know i would yeah especially if you put a gerbler down there i would have no idea what to do right and assume everything was huge put a phone well i'd be i was gonna say put a phone down but i'm using the phone to take the photos. I can't. My hands really were tied. Even with the phone, maybe it's the XL version. I don't know.

It's all sorts of different sizes. It's very true. A banana is a banana. Oh, this was mine. I found it. It was a field. I'd walk out of the school. I'd walk through it between some trees. I'd cross a busy road and go through a gap in the hedge and we'd play there.

I mean, it looks like it wasn't blue. Yeah. Yeah. I don't have any lines on it or anything, but I mean the photo, I don't know. I feel like I'm looking at like a sea, like something horrible. There is the vibe I get from that photo. You think that's horrible? Well,

I just, I get the sense of like in a movie, you know, where like they show the top down of like, what's going to get bombed or like, what would something bad happen there? That's how I feel. And I look at that photo. Yeah.

You like, you get down to ground level and there's just a little sign that says, uh, this plaque commemorates the 4,000 lost souls buried on the field. Yeah, exactly. That's kind of a shit field, Gavin. I'm not gonna lie. It's green, Fristot.

It's not even straight. They crookeded it. It's all fucked. But at least it's not blue. I think that's the important thing. It also kind of looks like it's on an incline. I don't know if you can tell, the only feature of the field that would let you know it was an athletic field

is that that thing in the bottom right that kind of looks like a big cigarette, that was a little long jump pit. Oh, that was a long... Yeah, it was just a little bit of sand with a run-up. Did you compete? I gave it a go. I was shit.

I was crap at that. Long jump? Yeah, people used to do triple. I was crap at that. Long jump? Yeah, people used to do triple jump. I never understood that. Just jump. Just jump once. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how that is more impressive. The triple jump as opposed to... I think this is my high school

football field, but it jogs no memory and it is unremarkable in every way. Wow! That's so proper nice i'm pretty sure that's my high school that looks at least community college level really it's pretty my high school was a my high school was a prison they uh they built my high school to be a prison but they built it on marshland and the foundation cracked in multiple places while they were constructing it so they abandoned the idea of it being a prison and it

sat unused for a while and then they decided well it's converted into a high school because it doesn't matter if they sink did it have like prison-y features yeah it was not a welcoming place. At all. That's dark. But it looks so nice. You got the logo in the middle of it. You got lines. You got numbers. A track field. Let me show you the fucking prison of my fucking high school.

Here you go. Real welcoming, that. It fucking looks... I think you could show that to people that live internationally that looks like a high school in a movie does it really? it's just a lot of fucking concrete and hallways

I get what you're saying but dude that looks like a American high school the movie big time should we try and do a little face tour and record episodes from each of our schools? I don't want to go to my school. Fucking absolutely not.

Because I feel like it would suck for the person whose school you're at, but it'd be so fascinating for everyone else. That's what happens when I googled American high school, and that's what came the first response. Much nicer. Oh, look, there's a place called american high school look at that that looks like a prison yeah i never mind i'm glad i didn't go to american high school let us know if you attended american what was it like

oh is it as bad as it looks? That's surely not in the US. I don't know. That's like an embassy style place, right? In a different country. Is that your football field, Nick? Yeah, that's my high school's football field. Street view. Looks better than when I went.

The Google street view. Yeah. Proper scoreboard is mental. Oh, what? They have a scoreboard now yeah this is what the that's what the front of my high school looked like it was very like here's the performing arts center and that's it there's nothing and then everything else was just here's the rest of the school idiot but it was like it was like all outdoor like my whole high school was like obviously we were inside for school for classes but like getting in between the buildings we were all it was all outdoor like the whole time really it's a nice building though

it's southern california man like the, the thing in the middle. These wolves. Whoa. These wolf statues. Oh, you had wolves in there. Whoa. Wolves in the middle of the school. That's like the high school where,

that's like the Veronica Mars high school, dude. That's fancy. Yeah. Well, they shot, Veronica Mars was filmed at SDSU. So, like, it's like the college in San Diego. How did you go to an all wolf school, but you came away with rat and dog based personas? That's a great point.

I think wolves were shoved down my throat for such a long time that now- You're pretty anti-wolf. Yeah, I don't know that I'm like firmly anti-wolf, but I would say that I'm in the camp. I'm pretty like wolf neutral at this point. Like they don't really do anything for me i just go look at these big dogs like they don't do anything for me at your worst were you anti-wolf like have you rebounded from that or in high school pretty firmly anti-wolf so is this your high school gavin yeah that was like the sixth form building. That looks like Hogwarts. You went to fucking Harry Potter school. Did you have servants in the high school?

No, but in there was the trophy cabinet where Dan used to stand. Where he was a trophy case wanker? Yeah. Eric, did the wolves have names? No, no, we were just simply the wolf pack. We were a collection of wolves um that i suppose shared a consciousness i'm not really again i have never really thought that deeply about it but um was the rival school of the vampires no the rival school was santana

um and their mascot i don't know if this is what it is still. I assume it is because it's Santee, California and nothing changes. Their mascot is the Sultan. And it looks like that. Oh. Yeah. It looks like the Akinator. It looks like he's going to guess who you're imagining.

It looks like Zoltar after he's changed the tire. And Zoltar realizing he needs to change the tire. He's real upset about it. I wonder if corporate sponsors will ever sponsor high schools like they sponsor arenas. Like, could you have the Akinator High? I mean, I don't know why you couldn't right

oh my high school field like your high school your high school you could be the Goodyear blimps okay Andrew wins for the my high school field was great what could you get done there like a

you can mow that lawn recess time get the weed whacker What could you get done there? You can mow that lawn. Recess time. Get the weed whacker. A good game of Frisbee back there. That's about it. You got Frisbee. You got mowing the lawn. You can stand there and take a photo holding your fucking ray gun for your men in black costume.

Oh, that's true. That was a different yard, but yeah. You could do that. You could clean the bird bath. All sorts of things you could do in my high school field. You are very funny, Andrew. Nick said you could do the sewing machine. No! I have never

done the sewing machine on grass. I don't trust it. That's a purely concrete scenario. Did you have uniforms? Sure. Every day of the week at my school.

No, no. I did not have a uniform. Eric, did you? No, no, no, no. We were normal Southern California. I mean, it might as well have been a uniform of shorts and our Hurley t-shirt. But no, it was not a mandated uniform. Nick, I can all but guarantee you didn't have one, right? No, that was definitely a public school.

I did work at a school uniform store, though. Wait. What? There's a store specifically for uniform? They're not just going to give it it? Oh, no, no. You're not given your school uniform. You have to buy this stuff.

You had to buy it. Well, I mean, we bought it, but you didn't have to go to a store and buy it. Oh. Yeah, they had a store at the mall. At the mall? Not even at the school? Yeah, it was at the mall. You worked at the mall? Did we know that? I don't think so. I forgot.

All these stories about all these times. I want to invent a show where we hang out at the mall. We've talked about Wanda. I'll work at the mall together. You never mentioned that you worked at a literal mall? You didn't draft the school uniform store that's a good point i think i messed up maybe it wasn't good what was it like working at the school uniform store in the

mall uh it was weird so it was like like a Catholic school uniform store. That's so specific. They only sold like specific, like for specific schools. And they had different age ranges. And they had like jumpers for certain ages. And then like a wide variety of like skirts, shirts, and then like those khaki pants. So if you wanted to, you could buy a uniform for the wrong school and wear it to the school you're going to? I imagine they frown upon it, but yeah, you totally could. Like you didn't check somebody's school ID when you sold them a t-shirt or anything?

No, we had like a binder with like a reference page and we're just like, what school do you go to? And they're like, what size? Like, okay, here you go. Take a look at this. And you're mostly dealing with parents, but sometimes it's kids that are like this sucks so it was a weird job is it all like are you guys maintaining the stock for all the schools or is that something that like you put an order in and then they come pick it up in two weeks uh we're maintaining stock so it's like something you always kind of cycle through

um most of the time though I was on the floor. I didn't deal so much with the other money thing. It was a – I worked at a Hollister that I hated, and the person I was dating at the time was like, you want a job at this uniform store? And so I worked – oh, so that's two places in the mall. Jeff, I'm sorry. What the hell? The Hollister doesn't exist outside of the mall.

I forgot. I'm sorry. What made it so you hated Hollister so much that you were going to go to, like, it's Hollister. It smells funny in there and the music sucks. What is Hollister? It's like a dickhead clothing store. Yeah. Okay.

You feel like a dickhead. Exactly. The music sucks. So you went from dickhead clothing store yeah okay yeah you feel like a dickhead exactly the music sucks so you went from dickhead clothing store to selling school clothes to religious dickhead clothing store yeah i would have definitely bought outfits at different schools and i would have felt real sneaky about that i would have felt like a secret agent slip through those holes undetected once again sneaky that's a sneaky move by me like I had a friend in high school who anytime you quit your job, it was known he wanted to buy your work shirt.

So like my friend quit working at Eckerd's drug and he would like, I'll give you 10 bucks for your work shirt. Don't turn it in. And he would just like collect them. He had shirts like collared shirts from like every pharmacy and grocery store or wherever you had them in our area and i never knew what he wanted to do i always assumed he had like a plan with them like was his name agent 47 no his name was brian but i always assumed he would like sneak in and steal stock or something

but i don't know or he might have just thought it was really cool to pretend like he worked at a 7-11 i'm imagining going into brian's house and seeing like the 7-Eleven shirt framed and being like, yeah, this is, this is game worn right here. Game worn 2003, 2004,

7-Eleven. I wonder which work shirt gets you the most access. Right. I think like a FedEx shirt. You could walk into any building. Oh, that's a good one. That is a good one.

FedEx UPS. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe UPS. My brain immediately answered president. walk into any building oh that's a good one that is a good one that xvps yeah yeah yeah maybe ups my brain immediately answered president but that's a terrible answer it's not it's just like a suit i guess i'd love if the president had to wear a uniform like he had to dress like uncle sam every day he had to go to the mall to the president's store to get his outfit he just gets one visitor every four years oh man that's so funny fake work or fuck or fork what next what is that my friend created this thing that he called firk which is fake work and his parents made him get a job in high school. And he worked at a Schlotzky's.

But what he would do is he would put on his uniform. He'd tell his parents he was going to work. He'd drive his car to the Schlotzky's, leave it, and then have someone else pick him up. And he would go and do whatever throughout the day. Then he'd go back in his car and come home. And he thought he was getting away with it for a long time. And then his dad went through the drive through one day it was like is uh is so and so here and they're like oh no oh that's amazing that's classic like empty

briefcase style of uh going somewhere every day that's fucking awesome what was he doing about not having money uh he just he he's literally the same guy i went on a trip with him to vegas this will tell you how he is with his money and on the first day he's like he brought a certain amount of money and he told me he lost it all in the airport casino before he even left and he just he just bummed off of us the rest of the trip and then on the last day i don't know where he got this money from too he was all the way up on um uh uh not craps what's the uh the other one with the spinny the roulette roulette roulette and he was up like a thousand bucks i have no idea where he got the money to even put down the money and then i was like oh oh, that's great.

We should go. He's like, just one more, just one more. And then he lost it all. So that'll tell you. I like that he fell at the first hurdle of Vegas. And that's why they had to sell Empire Records. That's a shame. And Schlossky's went under. I love the idea of firking.

I wonder if there's any forkers in the in the regulation listeners dude you've been forking for like 18 years what do you mean you just play with cameras and video games that's not a real job that's fair we're all furkers.

Somehow it's hard work though. I don't know how. No, I know. I'm kidding. It's really tiring. For the record and for the audience, you're the hardest working person I've ever met in my life. I feel like we're all out there.

Yeah. Well, yeah. I know someone who did a Nick-like approach with his friend, but they lost their job and they were too scared to tell their parents and they lived at home and so they spent the next three and a half weeks spending their working hours at the library they would they would drive out and they'd just park and they'd hide at the library so they figured that that'd be one spot where they wouldn't be discovered it's tragic very tragic also just like why just say I Couldn't spend three consecutive weeks at the library from open to close like an eight-hour shift. This is terrible I mean unless you were using the library to find a job I

Don't I don't know if they were I think they were just hiding and it was purely a hide move It's like a more a mourning period It's like a morning period. Where would you hide, Andrew, if you... Like, say your occupation was to run marathons for us. Where would you go instead? And I need to present that I'm running marathons? I'm trying to figure out... We'll say you were going out training for marathons but

clearly you're not going to go and do that yeah okay where would i hide yeah um i'm trying to think of like what's uh um maybe like the movie theater but you might you might go there yeah i think a movie theater is good so you'd have to only see movies you know Gavin doesn't want to see. Yeah, anything that's just in regular motion, I think. Or maybe things with slow motion. Maybe you don't want to see slow motion after all the slow motion you see. Huh. The mall is not a great place.

I'll find you immediately. I went to school one time and I encountered a teacher at the mall. That a great place. I'll find you immediately. One time and I encountered a teacher at the mall. That wasn't good. I would be right up your ass if you were trying to. Oh, you would. Yeah, no, I couldn't hide from you. There's no way I go.

Well, I feel like certain stores. I don't think you're going to the GameStop. I think there's certain places where I feel pretty safe to avoid you. Stay pretty far away from GameStop. What if we just did it like right in front of everyone's faces? What if we opened a store called The Hiding Spot? And it doesn't really sell anything. It's just where people can go if they want to be somewhere. But I don't think anyone would ever go in there

unless they were hiding from something. That's an interesting atmosphere, though. A bunch of people hiding from something? It's like the money laundromat. It's just so obvious. It could just be full of like almost like little oh you know it could almost be like it could almost be like uh in a cubicles in an office with just like little chairs and then when you sit down and they're not

tall walls but you sit down then you can't make eye contact with anybody else, you can't see them, and then you can just kind of play on your phone and pretend like the world doesn't exist. So what would it be if you walk in and it would just be a bunch of people pretending to be working? Yeah, it would look like office space. I love that. I do too. We all put in our crisps order, didn't we?

Our chips. Yeah, we were going to record that today, but, well, I don't have mine yet, so they clearly didn't get? Our chips. Yeah, we were going to record that today, but, well, I don't have mine yet, so they clearly didn't get it in time. There you go. I found it extremely difficult to pare down to four. So hard. I did too, and I had to take a stance.

Because, you know, we were talking ahead of time about what constitutes a chip, like what would be appropriate, and we agreed that corn snacks would work. Stuff like Cheetos would be allowed. And that makes it really hard. I don't know about your countries, but it makes it really hard in America

because there's just so much variety of that kind of stuff. And so I decided that I was going to stick to the letter of the word, and I only picked potato chips. So I don't know that I picked going to stick to the letter of the word and I only picked potato chips. So I don't know that I picked like the four best across that broad spectrum that we had allowed, but I definitely think I'd mail the four potato chips specifically.

Are we filming that on an office day? Yeah, I think so. Yes, I think so. At the office? Yeah, that's... Yeah, I guess so. I guess so. Yeah, because we have other stuff we have to do.

Are we not doing that stuff in person? That's, uh, yeah, I guess so. I guess so. Yeah, because we have other stuff we have to do. Hmm. Are we not doing that stuff in person? Yeah, let's do it. Which stuff? The old ship stuff doesn't necessarily need to be, but the other things that are planned, the you made a very good consideration of we still need to do the stinky port-a-potty thing. Yeah.

But Eric didn't want it to be done until post RTX because people people are gonna be in there but i was voted down so so if it smells you know who to blame yeah don't i mean certainly not me because i've made my point and uh i was told get a bucket if anything it gives people a much more authentic experience i don't think that's what people want i don't like one of the things in the face museum is just a whiff. I love that. You stick your head in the box and get a whiff.

Nick's gonna throw up. Can we ask Wes to make a whiff box for us? Just like in the huff zone. I mean like the porta pot port-a-potty's gonna be the fucking whiff box, dude. Yeah. We don't have to make

anything. We're gonna make it on Wednesday. What if it's in the hole? What if it's in the shitter hole? The whiff zone. You just put it in there. You gotta stick your head in the shitter hole. You gotta stick your head in the shitter hole to go to the whiff zone. I don't wanna to do that to

people. The whiff zone is optional. You don't have to, but if you want to enter the whiff zone, you know where to go. You don't have to ram your head in the huff box. Hey, did we include the porta potty in the museum? I don't know if we wrote that down, but I always

There's no way that it's not there. The museum should be built around it. I'm pretty sure it is. I'll double check and then someone will go, well, no, it's not. And then it will be. Don't worry. Now that's been spoken into the universe. Did you take a picture of it next to a ruler, Eric?

I didn't know. It's in a place that's at the office. That they have access to. Yeah. I really want to see a picture with a banana? I really want to see a banana next to the port-a-potty. Dumb. So Eric wants us to wrap up.

He wants us to stop talking. How did you guys feel recording on a Friday? Different vibe. Different vibe, right? I was a little, I felt a little thrown at the beginning. It just felt like, I did feel a little off my game. Do you? Well, everyone was late.

Yeah. Do you blame that on Friday or do you blame that on? I think it's a little bit of both. Because I had all my nervous energy still yesterday. Yeah. I didn't know what to do myself. I was all hopped up and then I got kind of tired. Then now today I have less energy because I freaked out about it yesterday. I couldn't I couldn't spend the hyped up energy where I needed to.

I think it was a double play. We're recording earlier and a Friday. I think both things come to effect. Yeah, interesting. Gavin and I hung out socially the other day. It was really nice. It was good to see you. That's great.

What did you two do? We went to this bar. I don't drink, of course, but we went to this bar and met with two other friends of ours Nick and Jason Saldana and we just yes we recreated a photo that I'd taken 18 years earlier oh yeah yeah sure okay yeah if you historically within the context of Rooster Teeth Jason is one one of the guys that helped create Rooster Teeth and Red vs. Blue. And then his brother Nick also exists. His brother Nick actually hooked me up.

He gave me a name for something. Oh. Related to F*** Face or just in general? Just in general. For like a different project. But I was explaining a project to him and he threw out a name and I'm definitely

going to use that name now. So this is from the day I met Jeff. This was, I'd known, I'd met Jeff like an hour ago at this point in this photo.

And that's Jason with him. And I think Nick is actually in the mirror. You can see the face of him. And then, so that was 2005 and this is 2023.

I gotta say, I'm impressed with the hand, Jeff, because that is a very specific hand gesture you have. We took a few takes. Gavin loves to retake a photo after a long period of time. I think it's funny. It's one of the things that I love about you. You're always on top of that. Something about

people aging is so interesting to me. It's so weird to look at a picture of myself 20 years ago and be like, oh, gee. Because you don't notice any of it happening at the time. And you're just like, oof. Yikes. But I think both of you look pretty good. Thanks, man. We should do that again in... Another 18? Another 18 more years? pretty good. Thanks, man. We should do that again in... Another 18?

18 more years. 18 more years, yeah. That's a long time, dude. 18 years. That's a lot of time. I like that in the first picture, I'd known you an hour, and in the second picture,

I've known you 18 years. Your finger looks the same, though. It does. I didn't even notice your finger. Yeah, I'm pointing at Jason for some reason you can see there's most of my tattoos are still there back then at least visible ones

except for my hand stuff yeah you've had it a few months that's crazy I guess we should probably shoot this one in the back of the head you're gonna kill this one? tie a couple of nooses around his neck I learned something shoot this one in the back of the head. You're gonna kill this one? Yeah.

Tie a couple of nooses around his neck. I learned something. Gavin, you run west. I'm gonna run east. Oh, shit. I can only go north. What'd you learn? I learned that I don't know what scalping is. Just to rehash that.

I clearly... I saw a lot of people being like I was scalping with my idea and I really didn't think it was and then I realized no no it is what did you think I didn't know what scalping was I think I thought scalping was like going above market value because you wanted to like I understood like the secondhand market like i thought intent yeah like i thought intent mattered but like on the surface where i was like i'm buying tickets for a thing i never attend a plan on attending and i'm selling them for whatever the markup price of i'm just scalping that's a bad idea do not so so when all of us went you mean scalping like that wasn't a hint

that wasn't a clue no i had to add you know, I had to think about it. I would intent mean anything. You think that, insane. That's so crazy. That was my processing was I'm not scalping because I'm not trying to rip people off. I'm just, I'm just selling at what the second hand market is.

But then I realized the second hand market is literally the most you can get above the price. It's the scalping market. Scalping. God. Yeah. No, exactly.

I'm saying I didn't know and I know now. I learned. Not scalping. I'm reselling. Yeah, that's what I thought. You were further off than I was about being born in the middle of the 70s. Okay. I love that so much.

I love it when we admit that we have a fundamental misunderstanding about something. Oh, yeah. That's the best. Well, here's the thing. We're too stupid to hide it, right? Yeah.

Like, you know... Like, none of us are smart enough to dig our way out of a hole. You might as well just embrace the dirt. I wish I knew all the things that are common knowledge that I don't know. That's the problem. Like, Gavin taught me recently that my keyboard had a second enter button on it. I had no idea.

I would have never found that. I wish. Honestly, the second I land in Vancouver, we're sitting down and we're learning the keyboard. I'm going to run you through every freaking button on that thing. You're going to come away a much more efficient man. Mario taught me how to type. I got a Mario accreditation.

He was an idiot apparently. He was incompetent. That's a funny supplemental content of you two teaching me key by key. Oh, don't worry. I'll definitely film it. I can't wait to see you guys next week. Are we doing another episode next week? And we've got Office Day.

And we have Office Day next week as well. It's going to be an eventful f***face week next week. We're going to top up our supplementals. I am very excited about both. I didn't even get to mention it, but I've been riding my bike every day again to get back.

Because of Eric, honestly. I was complaining to Eric about how much I don't like to run or lift weights. And he was like, just ride your bike. When you rode your bike, you were fine.

And I was like, he's got a good point. So I've been riding my bike 22 miles every morning. And I've been doing it like six or seven in the morning. And so I've discovered that the world is different. Even the bike paths and the parks are different at six and seven a.m.

So I have a few observations that I- I just want to point out, we do need to end, but I do want to point out that Jeff made me sound exacerbated from go, and that is not how the conversation went. He did an impression of me at the end of the conversation where he kept telling me how the conversation went he's that he did an impression of me at the end of the conversation where he kept telling me how no he's going to run and so that was me at the end of the conversation yeah it was the important part i don't i just want

to clarify okay end this now i've also been putting uh putting off constructing the scoops the ice cream gloves uh because i felt like we could potentially do that in person. I think that's a great idea. I think that's part of that concept. So next week we could eat chips, do the gloves, and smell the Sommstrom. Yep. That's going to be a hell of a day.

I can't wait. I'm so excited. I'm excited too. I wonder what else we can cram in there. Well, the only way to find out is to end this, so that way time can move forward and we can get there. By the way, how are we getting Andrew in... What? By the way? By the way what?

How are we getting Andrew piped into the stink potty experience? Well, we can talk about that. We can talk about that as soon as we end this episode. Okay. I can't. I have to go after this. My mom's in town. I literally came from the airport to pick her up here to record this episode,

and I haven't even really talked to her yet. Oh, we should wrap up so you can spend time with her. Tell your mom I said hi. Oh, dude, you know what she got me for my birthday? This sucks. What did she get you? She just gave it to me right before we came in. You remember when I told you guys that story about the Toonyville choo-choo that I had? I think it was the cover of one of the

plastic thing? Yeah, that I had a kid that played the little music records that were so fucking loud and obnoxious. My mom got me one for my birthday. I'm a kid that played the little music records that were so fucking loud and obnoxious. My mom got me one for my birthday. I'm so glad that I was going to do that, and I changed... I didn't do that. You almost ended up with two of them. Oh, dude, I would love to have two of them.

I could have them race. Yeah, just hold on a second. I know Eric is excited about this, and he wants me to send the photo. Yeah, we got to see this Toonyville situation. Oh, I hit the wrong thing. Eric has moved into end show chat. I don't think I described it at the time.

When I posted my back, I was homeschooled. That was that joke. I don't think that was ever vocalized. Oh, I knew. Was that the actual place? Yeah, that was my back yard at the time of high school. That's really good. I don't know why, but for... Well, hold on. Let me do me do it this way oh we're having a hard time at toonyville yeah i just all right

here we go can i send this is it too big do we need nitro is nitro back let me see if i can do it this way discards being a pain paste we go It looks fucking brand new How great that is That looks so nice It's a little different than I remember The little music discs you put in the top There's four of them I didn't remember but

There's a different song on each side It's like a full album You have eight songs That's awesome Is it as loud as you remember? No it's not super loud My mom mom said that this one is not as loud as previous ones. But

maybe I changed the batteries up. Maybe they get louder or something. Anyway, thanks for listening to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. This was episode 160 of volume 2 of season 98. Please don't forget, it is the summer of 98. We don't know what that means,

but we are embracing it. Additionally, RTX is coming. That's also a summer thing. And we want you to come out and enjoy it with us here in Austin, Texas, July 7th through the ninth. That includes the eighth.

It's not the seventh comma ninth. That would be weird. You take the eighth off to rest, I guess, from the party on the seventh. Now we're going 7th, 9th. That would be weird. You take the 8th off to rest, I guess, from the party on the 7th. No, we're going to do all three days. And if you come, you can check out the F*** Face Museum

of Oddities and Things That Are Things. We think that you will like it. There's even one very, very, very, very special item that we... You've got to see it to believe. Speaking of seeing stuff, I'd like to see you guys give some rates and reviews on the podcast apps.

I don't know what your, your, your preference is, but I know that it has an option for you to rate a, rate a podcast to let them know how much you like it. It, it helps us believe it or not. And then also people like words.

So reviews are also appreciated and that'll do it for this episode. Oh, no face. I didn't, no. F*** Face. I didn't... I didn't hit record. You're a liar. You're a liar. I didn't hit record.

You're absolutely lying. You're lying, right? Blindside? You little prick. Find out! You're getting to the show! No! And stop.

Hey, guys. Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. We're Eric-less. What does Meatman look like? Gavin gets yet another nickname. The package is on the way. Did Eric meet Stuart? What's the best video game cake?

And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.