F**kface - The Yao Ming of Ewoks // Taking NFTs to the Ham Zone [43]

Episode Date: March 24, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about getting in to pickling which is not what you think it is, the new beef bracelet from Geoff, and an NFT art piece from Geoff. Very Geoff focused on this one. That's good though. Sponsored by: Hello Tushy (http://hellotushy.com/FACE) and Better Help (http://betterhelp.com/face) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma, is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics, groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics. Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation of Beastrin.

Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice. Your choice, that is. From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills. And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in This is a Rooster Teeth production. So you guys can take it away. This is episode number 43.

This is going to be the good one. I think that all the other ones have been great. This one is going to be head and shoulders above the rest of them, but it's up to you guys to get it there. So I'll leave it to you. Take it away. Thanks for that awesome intro, Eric. I don't think any of us could have done a better job than what you just did. You continue to impress and amaze and you are right. That is what this show is. Gavin Raymond, how are you guys doing today? Not bad. I'm doing great. I feel like there's a little bit of pressure though, And you are right. That is what this show is. Gavin, Raymond, how are you guys doing today? Not bad. I'm doing great.

I feel like there's a little bit of pressure, though, off that opening. Like Eric said, this is going to be great. And then just left. Just disappeared. That's what a real showman does, right? He threw the gauntlet to us. Now it's up to us to run with it. So, Andrew, I believe I hopped into the chat to the recording earlier uh and i heard you talking about pickling so i left did you want to get into pickling i mean we don't need to

necessarily get into pickling i could talk about it briefly i well okay let's say you're offended by it jeff is that why you left no i just thought uh i don't need to hear this shit from him unless it's like on camera would you say if i said that i'm i'm into pickling now does that mean that i'm going to pickle things or that i'm open to the idea that pickled things could be good uh if you're into pickling you're one who pickles so you're like making your own pickles and what did i say did i say i think i said i'm i'm open to the idea that pickled things are good or pick i don't remember remember what I said, but I'm not, I'm not going to be a pickler. I just thought there was no way,

like anything being pickled didn't seem like it would enhance the flavor to me. I mean, you're already a pickler. You got a pickled waffle on your desk right now. That's, that's true. I should do something with that eventually. I just don't,

I kind of want to smell it again, but I'm convinced I'll just vomit immediately. And, uh, there needs to be a right time for that. I also don't want to get puke on my keyboard. Yeah, that's something you build up to throughout the course of an episode. For sure. You don't want to blow it in the first five minutes. Hey, speaking of which, you guys got a lot to cover this week.

You got anything? I have a thing to bring up that we forgot to talk about is a brief thing. Gavin, you mentioned maybe it was the end of the story story but i was going to expand on it a little bit you had a jacket that like would buzz alarms or whatever and it was kind of set up in a way of like we'll talk more about it and then we just never did oh yeah i could go into that i have a question too uh i said gav do you have anything and then andrew you also answered so is this your way of telling us that you have a third name and it's gavin that you have been hiding from us no i just got excited and i answered when you said do you have anything then you said gavin i assumed it was open to

everybody i didn't realize this is a gavin only question when i reply my only thing to talk about this week is and Andrew will routinely say things that he hasn't done which I feel like most people have like eaten an egg or what else Meatball You haven't eaten a meatball

I haven't watched Star Wars or whatever you lied about last week No I didn't Watched Triple X That was just a mistake The two year screener But I'm intrigued if you can pinpoint Andrew Watch Triple X for the millennium. That was just a mistake. The two-year screener. But I'm intrigued if you can pinpoint, Andrew, things that you know most people have done that you haven't.

Oh, I feel like, well, this is weird. I feel like everything that we just talked about. Star Wars is a big one. I have a Star Wars question for you, Gavin. Jeff gave me so much shit about this. And you need to understand my concept. I've seen The Phantom Menace. I saw The Clone Wars. out of revenge of the set didn't finish it i've never finished that movie and i've seen rogue one i was thinking about star wars so like understand the characters i i

have a grasp on from those movies i asked and i thought this was a very fair question but jeff thought i was a fucking idiot is chew Chewbacca an Ewok? He's a Wookiee. Well, I didn't know. I don't know. I just, I don't know anything. I don't know what a Wookiee is. I thought it was a fair question.

They're both furry things. And I was just curious if Chewbacca was like substantially taller than all the other Ewoks. I thought it was a fair question. So all furry things are the same to you? I'll be honest with you, Andrew, that makes you sound a little furry intolerant. No, I'm just saying that typically

when you see an Ewok, there's certain size from what I've seen, and I was just curious if Chewbacca was an anomaly, if he was just a really tall Ewok. He was the Yao Ming of Ewoks. Yeah, that was sort of what I was presenting. Wait, you said you saw Rogue One. Isn't that the one with all the Ewoks?

Damn it, all the Wookiees? Which one? Or is that Solo? What one has all the Wookiees fighting? I don't think they're in Rogue One. Yeah, I haven't seen Solo. Okay. Chewbacca's in that one, though.

I don't think I've seen a Star Wars movie that's featured Chewbacca in any way. I'll be honest. I don't want to turn this into a whole Star Wars thing, but I'll say growing up, Star Wars was an easy franchise to wrap my head around because there were only six movies

and really three for most of my childhood. It all runs together now. Just hearing you guys list all the fucking movies to try to keep up with, I don't know how anybody keeps it separate.

And I'm by no means an expert. I didn't, I watched them all in chronological order for the first time i watched one two three four five six and then uh i hadn't seen them in years and then i didn't remember anything about it so i had to re-watch them all i never thought when i was a kid i'd be like all right i slow down on the star wars for a minute i need to catch my breath but i actually feel like i watch them in the worst way in some sense, because I've never seen

Darth Vader in any movie ever. I sort of have this perception of who Vader is. So wait, you're watching Rogue One, and then at the end, you're like, who the hell's that? No, no, no. I know who he is. Culturally, I've seen Darth Vader. I get who Darth Vader is, but I've never seen him in a movie. So when he had the Rogue One sequence, people lost their minds about how cool that was yeah to me

I just assumed that's what Vader's done every other movie. That's what I thought the bar was like no way Exceptional to me. I was like oh, he just killed a bunch of guys. He moved like an old man Almost every movie that was like the one time he was badass. Yeah, so yeah, that's that's my problem I feel like if I watch those movies now It's just gonna be ridiculous under under like seeing what he could do in rogue one compared to what he did in the other movie well i just wouldn't even bother if i were you then yeah i don't know it seems like a lot to watch there you go no need maybe star wars and eggs and meatballs and pickles just aren't for you i'm open to pickles i I had, Wendy's has this Korean barbecue burger in Canada right now.

And it had pickled onions on it. I think it's like the first thing I've had that was pickled. Really enjoyed it. Kind of brought out some additional flavor, kind of tart. I'm a fan of it. So I'm open to the idea that... Was that your first pickled onion? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it was. I think it might be my first pickled anything uh knowingly you should try a pickled cucumber they are delicious oh but i don't like cucumber so i don't you did well listen a lot of people don't like onions but they like pickled onions it's a whole different world when you pickle it yeah but i like onions so i feel like it's not shocking that i'd also like pickled onions it's just a variant of the flavor. I don't like cucumbers. I'm going to recommend that you if that you try to ride this pickle wave and maybe you don't jump into pickles.

Yeah. Pickled cucumbers immediately. But I think you got to get there because it's like it's it is it's the big dog in the ocean. It's the shark of pickling. Right. OK. It's the it dog in the ocean. It's the shark of pickling, right? Okay. It's the blue whale. It's the apex predator of all other pickled items.

So you can't ignore it forever. At some point, you got to give it a shot. Maybe you work your way up to it, though. Is there a pickled section in the grocery store? I imagine there is, right? I don't know. I don't know. Could I just buy pickled things if I wanted to just expand?

See if, uh... Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I assume it's, like, in the area with the jars. Yeah. Where the pickles are. Even. Okay.

I don't think I've ever gone down that aisle. You've never gone down an aisle? Well, no, the pickle aisle, specifically. Have you ever been down... He's standing on the end of all the fixtures, like, peeping down the aisles, but never said foot down the aisle. Andrew, the pickles are he's like excuse me sir about halfway down that aisle so there's some pickles would you would you grab me the vlastics extra crunchy i can't go down the aisle that'd be a really interesting challenge is to go a year but you can only buy off the ends

the face shopping challenge to see what's available to you everything that's on promotion yeah well i mean like the produce you'd live off the produce section you got the deli you can make that work i think it's just like condiments yeah but stuff like like refrigerated stuff is never on the end is it oh no sometimes it is very rarely you would just end up with a lot of like ice cream cones and maraschino cherries yeah you can buy all the big red that you want and like candles you can eat candles all day long candles and batteries the next two weeks i'm not gonna walk down aisles. I'll just see how it goes. Let's see what I can That's a great

challenge, I think. I think that's a great 2021 challenge for everybody, for the audience as well. Oh, man. Hey, so I have, uh, can I talk to you guys

about something? Yeah, of course. I was, uh, I was a little unhappy with my performance in last week's F*** Face. I usually am, but I was so unhappy, in fact,

that I even reached out to you guys after the episode, just to make sure that it was okay. Oh, you texted Andrew as well? Maybe I just texted you. Thanks for bringing it up. Yeah. Anyway, I'm sure I had a reason. But, uh, so I decided that instead of being in a funk about it i was going to redouble my efforts between that episode to this episode and the

struggle that i've been having i was talking about with gavin it's like nothing's happening in my life right now right because of the pandemic and because of working from home and stuff and i think i even said to gavin like i can only make socks and fingernail clippings stories for so long like i'm really scraping the bottom of the fucking barrel here yeah but last night last time you're pulling up like throwing up blood and all that cool stuff yeah that's true too that's what i'm saying it's the bottom of the barrel man it's just oh god damn uh so i i set to to to come up with some stuff for this episode that I wanted to get excited and invigorated about. And it was such a fun experiment that two things happened. One, I became an inventor and I have created what I think is a revolutionary product I would like to share with you guys.

And two, I became an artist and I think I've created an avenue for a future of art. So I would like to share these two things with you if you don't mind, and if no one else has any more pressing business. No. I'd like to see... Are these connected in any way? Or are these two separate ventures?

They are separate, but one could argue they're connected on a theme. Okay. Okay. Pickled eggs are amazing, I think so, by condiments. Yeah, Nick's right argue they're connected on a theme. Okay. Pickled eggs are amazing. I think so by condiments. Yeah, Nick's right. They're by the condiments. Okay.

So let me preface. I'll take this back a little bit. I was having this conversation where I thought, like, what am I going to do between now and next face to really to bring it like the guys have done, like Andrew's done or Raymond has done every week with the shit that he makes up and how gavin has been able to just like coast by without really doing anything even signing the goddamn baseball cards which the merch team has been begging us for gavin to do uh but it doesn't matter because gavin he's got the he's the boy with the golden hands as his grandfather said

uh so uh why i as i happen as i tend to do i have these creative uh like sessions on my bicycle right so i was i was like i gotta get on my bike and i gotta run out there and i gotta figure out what i'm gonna do between face and face and i was like oh fucking right as i was about to get on the bike i realized i was hungry it's like a law firm yeah yeah exactly face and face uh so i was like oh I should grab some food before I go and I looked around and there was nothing that I could eat on my bicycle but then I saw like a candy bracelet because I had bought a bunch of

candy bracelets at the dollar store the other day you know what I'm talking about candy bracelets right yeah okay cool yeah so I slapped a candy bracelet on my wrist and I went off on my bicycle about halfway down I remember on my ride I realized that the candy bracelet was still wrist and I went off on my bicycle. About halfway down, I remember on my ride, I realized that the candy bracelet was still there. And I thought, that's kind of convenient.

I can eat the candy without getting off my bicycle, right? And so I was able to eat the entire candy bracelet while riding without slowing down, without reducing my pace, without anything. And I thought, what a shame that I was able to provide sustenance for myself without even slowing down or breaking my stride on my bike. Were you leading your hand up to your mouth or were you hunching down to your wrist while riding? It's an excellent question, Gavin, and I'm glad you asked it. And I have some documentation that can answer that for you. However, so we'll get to that. can answer that for you uh however uh so we'll get to that anyway in this moment i thought i wish that i could continue this bike ride but still feel like i i got the sugar rush it's over and

now i'm worse off than before as gi joe told you eat a banana not a candy bar you'll you'll have energy longer right uh so so i was like i had the the quick rush of the sugar but i was bummed that i didn't have something more substantial. And then it struck me what we need to be able to do as a society. And this is how you guys are going to have to an audience. All this will go up on the Instagram face pod is what it's called so that you can play along with me. I thought there's gotta be a better way to combine the convenience of jewelry and the raw power of beef.

Combine the convenience of hand jewelry with bovine energy. And that's when I landed on the beef bracelet. You see what I've done in this photo, and I apologize for my skin looking a little ashy, it's still beaten up from being scraped across I-35 for a couple hundred feet. I'm still a little under the weather physically. The beef bracelet, what I've done here,

I made a prototype, right? I took the string from a candy bracelet and then I cut up like a Slim Jim and? I took the string from a candy bracelet and then I cut up like a Slim Jim and then I combined it around and created a bracelet of beef and let me tell you boys, it worked. Now here's why I'm telling

you. I would like you to consider investing in f*** face beef bracelets. And I don't want to stop there because I got to thinking that's good that's convenient I can ride my bike I can eat beef

I don't have to stop I don't have to slow down I don't have to it doesn't have to impede my life in any way but that's not a lot of beef and what am I going to do I'm going to end up

with like 17 bracelets I could do that or I could go for the big beef bracelet I made a second prototype. That's right. With chunks, like huge chunks of beef jerky. So if you don't want a snack, you want a meal, it's right there on your hand.

I can already envision the commercial is Jeff riding his bike and there's six dogs running after him. Beef bracelet. All right. I'm glad you mentioned the dogs. We're going to get into that because that is an area for concern. Here's what I thought. Why stop at beef, right? This is a whole product line.

So I tried a lot of stuff to put on a bracelet. I'll be honest with you. It's hard. What goes well with beef? Cheese, right? Beef and cheese? I'll be damned

if I could get cheese to stay on my wrist for anything, any kind of cheese. I gave up and then it struck me. I'm overthinking it. What do people like about beef? They like that it's salty.

So what happens when you combine sweet and salty? You get sweet and salty beef bracelet. I already had the answer right there in front of me. You just combine the candy necklace or the candy bracelet with the beef bracelet, and you've got both. You've got a sweet and salty bite all at once and you're getting your... And you're scratching that sweet tooth urge

and you're building up your protein and you're going to be in the best shape of your life. You're going to be the most extreme mountain biker, swimmer. Oh, that's another great thing, right? It's a bit of a problem for the sweet and salty. Candy bracelets, they will melt in the rain. However, beef is rain resistant.

You can wear this sucker in the ocean if you want to. What, is your beef gonna get saltier? What do you mean? Great! You wanna eat a load of wet beef? No, I don't want to, but I'm saying you can if you have to. I like that you went from, like, you pressed stop last week,

and you're like, hard cut to you, stapling and gluing beef to your arm. What is, how is that taking place? Look at the state of that picture. It looks foul. It looks disgusting. Well, I think I'll say thank you. Oh, my God. I support this. And then I wanted to wanted to oh i have one more for you guys too right so i i thought i need to make a commercial now i don't

have the money oh these files are too powerful they're more than eight megs uh oh i can't show it to you you could text maybe yeah or the slack okay I'll Slack it to f*** face. So I filmed, just to give you guys a clue of what I'm talking about, and this goes back to what Gavin was saying about, like, do I hunch my head down or do I bring my arm up? I created a video to show how it works. Now, when you watch the video, you'll have to take into consideration that what I'm actually eating is, because I didn't have the beef bracelet on me at the time. I'm actually I'm using a bracelet that says fart on it that Millie made for me.

And I'm using that to pantomime eating how the motion works. Then what we'll do when we get some money, like when you guys invest and other people invest, we'll rotoscope in some beef. OK, I'm going to watch this now. Yeah, watch it. OK. in some beef. Okay, I'm going to watch this now. Yeah, watch it. Okay. Yeah, he's one-handed it. He's bringing the wrist up to his mouth. He's having a little snack.

Obviously, this is just the model prototype. It doesn't contain any beef. Yeah, I can see that it's Jeff pretending to eat beads. Yeah. You know what's great about that too? It's so safe. I was filming that whole thing with my left hand.

I don't have any hands on the bike. When you're eating a beef bracelet, you only need one hand. I was able to do it. I was able to continue without either. It's going to be twice as safe for you because you're not going to be filming yourself eating a beef bracelet.

You're just going to be eating it and riding it. Boom. Beef bracelet. Imagine him getting wheeled off on a stretcher it's like oh what happened i couldn't eat the beef and hold the camera could you could you imagine jeff's bike fall with the beef bracelet on adding that to the story his beef launching everywhere all this thing is for me is, I guess it's like if you die out in the world, it just attracts the raven sooner. I think that's all this place achieves. Here's the one problem I need to solve for.

And I feel like we need to do some workshopping and I could use your help. I'm bringing this to the face council so that we can investigate this. I think there's a lot of money in it for us. mean just like think about just think about the athleisure wear industry you like you make a fucking you make an attractive beef bracelet that goes along with your lululemons it's a license to print money uh however gavin hit on the main drawback that i have with this is angry dogs i'm not sure now an angry dog can be a motivator. If a dog is chasing you because of your beef bracelet and you're on a bike, you're going to ride faster.

So, I mean, I guess it could be considered beneficial in that way, but I don't know if we need to make, in conjunction, like an anti-dog and anti-bear spray or I don't know. I'm open to hearing what the council has to say. I think there are a variety of options. How easy is it to rip a piece of beef off the bracelet if you need to throw it, create a little bit of space for yourself?

Maybe an emergency release button or pull somehow if you need to evac the bracelet. But here's the thing with the little like sweet, the candy bracelet is that you lean down or you bring your wrist up and you crunch one off. You don't sink your teeth in and then like pull away like you'd have to do with beef surely if you're one-handed beefy and off your own wrist you're gonna pull the bit of beef off it snaps the string and six pieces of beef go flying in every direction i i can understand how you would you would be concerned about that but I can tell you in practice with my prototypes, that is not a concern. And what's the state of your wrist after you've

eaten candy and beef off your wrist? That's delicious. It smells fragrant. Sticky though? Bit messy? A little sticky, maybe. Maybe. Yeah. But I mean, so am I. I've been riding my bike for 30 miles without stopping because I didn't have to take a break to eat a beef jerky. Do you think this is only for high-performance athletes, Jeff? I think it could be for anyone. I think it could be for anyone who cares about sustenance and they don't want to break a stride while they're working out. I guess the problem is, like, everyday person,

they don't need, they're not restricted to holding handlebars. Yeah. It's more of a, just like, it's a convenience. If you could wear your food, wouldn't you want to? handlebars. Yeah. It's more of a just like, it's just like, it's a convenience. If you could wear your food, wouldn't you want to? I would. I would wear the beef bracelet.

Even if it wasn't, I just like the look. I think there's a certain vibe you're giving off with the beef bracelet that is unique to the market. I just feel like if I was riding a bike, I could much more easily

pull a Slim Jim out from my jacket pocket and eat it. And then open it up? Or are you going to have a dirty Slim Jim rolling around in there collecting pocket lint? Then you're eating a bunch of fuzz, dude. No. And you're not going to want to open up a Slim Jim while you're riding your bike. That's harder than filming yourself eating a Slim Jim.

I've done it. What if I just open, I pre-open the Slim Jim, shove it behind my ear, and then eat it as I go? Just put it back up there? Man. Is that how to poke holes? Just let me get, just let me make us rich,

dickhead. Or sunglasses with tubular ear rims that you can shove a Slim Jim on each one, and you just see them sticking out a little bit past your eyes. You want to build a...

Listen, I'm not opposed to that in tandem. What about this? This could be a whole suite of products. And if you want to make sunglasses, beef jerky holder, I don't think that's a bad idea. I think that those two, I don't think they have to work against each other. I think they can work in tandem.

What about you, Andrew? Jeff, I got a solution for this. I think you're narrowing in on the wrist a little bit too much. We get a hat We get some fishing line. We drape it down the front of the hat You don't even need to move your head. You just kind of tilt it Let it fall on your mouth bite and go. Like one of those Australian cork hats. Yeah, but you look like an asshole Nobody even notices that you've got a beef bracelet on. You look like an asshole with the beef bracelet No, you don't you just look like a dude with a bracelet.

No. I think we've got to fully lean into this combination of clothing, accessory that's also edible in part. I'm all about that. I just think that the beef bracelet is a great starting point, right? Also, it is. You start with one Chia Pet, and then you franchise out to every kind of head on Earth, right?

We start with something simple that people can wrap their teeth and their brain around, a beef bracelet, and then we go beef hats. We go beef fucking... We go like... Oh, how about... You know how people wear like...

What's his name? Fucking Brett Favre is always like, wear copper. It makes your elbow hurt less. What if we made, like, beef arm braces? And then you can use it. You can fucking use it to protect yourself while you play football. Then if you get a little hungry, just like.

You know, like, there's a million ways we can take it. I don't think I want to eat sweaty beef is a thing I'd want to avoid. Dude, that beef was sweating way back when it was alive. What do you care? I just feel like the bottom of my wrist, you know, if you walk into somewhere, you sign in, your beef is going to be smearing on their table. It's not going to be hygienic.

I don't know. I can't remember the last time I signed in somewhere. Yeah, well, I'm sorry. Are you going to be signing in to ride your mountain bike? Like, what are you... I'm not telling you to wear it to the dentist. But also, you have to take it off to dump. You can't be shoving your beef down the toilet

while you wipe. You're not, this is for, this is for bike riding, not shitting. You don't, you're not, it's not for extreme shitting.

Okay, so you only put it on. It's for if you're hanging, it's like if you're hanging off the fucking side of a cliff, you know, mountain climbing, like my cousin or whatever,

and you're like, I'm a thousand feet from anywhere and I'm fucking hungry and I have to be so careful about what i put in my pockets because i have to have all the right shit oh thank god thank god i had the beef bracelet on i probably just saved my own life i'd be willing to try it i'd give it a go yeah thank you i appreciate that i appreciate your your openness have you attempted using both wrists it feels like you're really loading up on one i I think I almost want

my sweet on the left wrist, salty on the right. Get the dessert on the other wrist. Yeah. I like where you're going with that. I did. There was a prototype that was an all-cheese one for my left wrist, and in addition to the cheese and beef combo,

it just didn't work. But I think that there are... I mean, this is me in my kitchen, right? Mad sciencing this. When we get labs involved and, you know, professional distributors, they're going to be able to figure out ways to streamline

and to make these things work for both risks. I feel like maybe three little pots on the front of your handlebars with different sauces would go well with this. And you have a little wrist dunk, maybe in some mustard.

Another one got a little bit of horseradish or something if we're sticking with the beef theme. I think that'd be pretty good. Now that's a good idea. I like that. I'd say the other problem that we have with this so far is that you haven't actually done anything. You've just applied other products to your wrist

that people make. You don't really own any of this. What do you mean? You got a candy bracelet. Well, like, you got a candy... Your candy section is just a candy bracelet for someone else. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no.

You don't have any way to source any of these products yourself. You're just buying Slim Jims and putting them on your wrist. Yeah, for prototypes, but you are technically correct. I have an answer for that. I do have a dehydrator.

I can make my own jerky. Yeah. Wow. If I want to. Okay. Okay. That's not out of reach. I do have a dehydrator. I can make my own jerky. Yeah. Wow. If I want to. Okay. Okay. That's not out of reach for me, man. That's, yeah.

You pickle, I dehydrate. It will be a perfect combo. Anyway. Yeah. Obviously, there are issues. I'm not going to be producing this shit out of my house, you know? Like, I don't think that you... You just said you were.

I don't think that Jim has a Slim Jim line in his living room, you know? I'll snap into it somewhere in a warehouse. But I'm just trying to get the idea out there so you guys can wrap your heads around it, buy into it, hopefully bite into it, and invest in this really exciting new product that I think it could be a big boon financially for Rooster Teeth rooster teeth and face you know how they shave off the kebab meat in yeah I strip I think that'd make quite a good tie very easy to dip too that's what I like about the tie would have length just do a little like bend over dip it in I dip by accident wearing when i wear a tie yeah it always gets in

your food i like that i think this is a great idea i like that food as an adult isn't as fun as it should be you kind of lose all the fun food items you grow out of it i really like the idea of the fun bracelet the dipping there's a lot of joy to be had in this product line i would certainly invest maybe if you're really hungry there there's some sort of big steak gauntlet. This is why I took it to you guys because you guys are similarly visionaries and you guys can take and help me get this over the finish line

so we can make something that's greater than the sum of our parts together. I'm so fucking excited to be working on Beef Bracelet with you guys. I'm so fucking excited to be working on Beef Tie or like Shwarma Tie, whatever it is. I'm jazzed, man. I'm really fucking jazzed. I'm so fucking excited to be working on Beef Tie or like Shwarma Tie, whatever it is. I just, I'm jazzed, man. I'm really fucking jazzed. I'm really excited. I think that 2021 is

going to be bright for us. Do you have a name for the product? Is my only question at this point. You're looking at it, my friend. Beef bracelet. No, yeah, but you can't have a beef bracelet and not have, like, what if we want to do chicken? What if we want to do chicken? Like, is it just, we're going to change the name of it? I mean, bracelet works with beef, though. It though it works with like brisket bracelet also works

yeah brisket bracelet it just narrows in what it is i feel like we should have a product name that kind of could cover all possible food items did you have an idea no not at all i was just i was thinking like we're kind of narrowing in on beef bracelet. I love the beef bracelet, but it would be nice to have some form of name that would maybe expand across other. Uniform. Especially if we want to do hats. Uniform. I don't mind uniform.

I think uniform can work. Uniform is not bad. All right. Put a pin in that. Tentatively, beef braceletacelet is a product of Unifarm. It's like Unilever, how they own almost everything. They're the overseeing company. Oh, God.

Oh, man. You guys have warmed my heart being so receptive to this idea. You have no idea. You know when you're in the lab, as they say, creating, you don't know. It's a difficult situation where I want to reach out to you two, my chief creative partners in life,

and get your feedback, but I can't do it because then that fucks up the efficacy of the podcast, right? It just makes it a little bit harder. So you say like, I've been sitting on beef braces for a week,

just worrying that this wasn't a good idea. And to hear you guys adopt it. So yeah, it does. The salt is a little bit sweeter today. Yeah. I want to know, because I feel like we're all in, like Andrew and I,

obviously we want to point out the flaws. We want to, you know, get involved even more. Eric is usually the downer of the podcast, is usually the one based in realism. Eric, what are your thoughts on Beef Bracelet? Yeah, Eric and Nick, feel free to hop in too. I'm still, I'm all for it.

I say go for it. I think Jeff keeps talking about high performance athletes and his bike, and I don't know if I'm on board with calling that bike a bike for high performance athletes um i think that we still haven't solved the quick release problem for any dogs that might come after you um however those are just issues that can be solved later once it's out of beta um that's what we we need to take the apple route we need to sell this now to people so they buy it, they test it for us, paid beta testing,

and then we come out with Beef Bracelet 2.0 and it's got all the bells and whistles. So I say, yay, I'm in favor. Wow. Eric, I am so glad to have you on board. What a visionary. Nick? I'm excited.

I would like to hear your affirmations as well. Absolutely. Hell yeah! Oh, this is exciting. I would like to hear your affirmations as well. Absolutely. Hell yeah! Oh, this is exciting. That's for five for five. Is this, what is the company name for, so we have Uniform is our pin name. Is this a Rooster Teeth product?

Is it our own product? What is this? Maybe it's not the Rooster Teeth store. It could be. That's a good point. Could we, how do we get people, hmm. Do you think Uniform being based on Uniform,

do you think that's too like, it reminds people too much of work though? Hmm. Or school? You think the, you think the beef bracelet will remind people

of their professional lives? I want to see if you could, if you could actually fit like three courses on your body. That's actually a good point. Like a salad.

Yeah. The nice thing about this is that the audience is going to help out. You know, they always provide insights. They'll have somebody out there is going to have a brilliant idea

for a name or some avenue we haven't even thought of yet. And I'm excited. I'm just excited for that. I'm excited to breathe this idea out into the world and then see the world change and become a better place

in some small way because of us. There is a lot of food that I like that is annoying to eat, but you definitely can't eat on the go. Yeah, I feel like this got some legs. Thanks, man. And in those legs, we're going to put eatable pants.

Yeah. Thanks, man. And in those legs, we're gonna put eatable pants. Yeah. Those pictures look so disgusting. I'm not sure if it's because of your injured hand mixed with the rubber bands and all the tattoo and just the meat all over it. It's a very fleshy picture. Yeah is i agree the uh the slim gym just it makes me fearful of you if i saw somebody walk out with a slim gym bracelet i do not mess with that guy now well that that could be another benefit to personal security that's something to think about if someone's willing to wear a beef bracelet you don't know what they're

capable of they're capable of a lot they're capable of. They're capable of a lot. They're capable of... They've got beef fist. You don't want to fuck with them. This show was brought to you by our show's new sponsor, BetterHelp Online Therapy. A lot of us take care of our bodies. Superfan Jack does not.

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All right. Well, I'd like to move on to the second thing that happened is after I discovered the... After I landed on the idea of the beef bracelet and I spent a few days perfecting those images and I made the video, did some testing, obviously, I wasn't done. I've also, as you know, been kind of obsessed with collecting basketball cards and the idea of collecting in general, reconnecting with that. You know, I even had the realization a while back that Achievement Hunter, which is the side arm of Roostreet that we started 12 years ago, actually was just video game collectibles,

right? We were just digital collectibles. is actually was just video game collectibles, right? We were just collect digital collectibles. And so I realized that like this obsession with collecting has kind of been pervasive in my life. And and so I was thinking about that and trying to figure out, you know, like face we touch on a little bit

with like the face collection. We've done the Don Zimmer stuff. And I kind of want to figure out a way to expand upon that. NFTs are hot. Everybody's into the idea of an NFT. Gavin, Andrew, do you know what NFTs are? Yeah, I do. Yeah, okay. An NFT stands for non-fungible token.

If you don't know what that is, it's not because you're dumb, because I didn't know what it is either, although I am done. I had to look it up. A non-fungible token is an item that can't be replaced by another item identically of same value. Like, a one-of-a-kind. Like, if I had a dollar bill, and Andrew had a dollar bill, if we switched those dollar bills, we'd both still have of same value, like a one of a kind. Like if I had a dollar bill and Andrew had a dollar bill, if we switched those dollar

bills, we'd both still have the same value. You can't do that with a one of a kind item, like a one of one Don Zimmer baseball card. If it's the only one in existence, it's the only one in existence. That's non-fungible. So what the smart people on the internet have done is they've created these things called nfts non-fungible tokens that basically are items that are digitally unique and can be proven as such and the way they do that is by uh creating them on the blockchain i'm sure you've all heard about the blockchain i don't know if you know what it is or not i'm not going to get into that but it's a chain and it's created with blocks and that's essentially it however you can you can

basically create a digital signature of an item that originates on the blockchain it's called minting and that basically says that no matter what happens to this file going forward this is the only one of that file or one of five of that file or whatever and so people have then uh started to turn uh collectibles have started to catch on to this idea it's a cool idea because artists can now sell their art directly uh to a consumer via an nft marketplace whether it's digital art in a way that people weren't able to do before you can do music you could do anything anything that could qualifies as art right animated gifts are sell uh whatever it is the most expensive piece of digital art

just sold at Christie's auction. I think it's Bleeple is the artist. I'm not familiar. Very famous, apparently. I'm out of the loop. Sold for $69 million today or yesterday. And it's just an image, but it was authenticated on a blockchain. It's an NFT, and it's the only one of its kind. NBA has this service called top shot now uh where they sell clips of they sell like digital packs and a pack has three clips clips are like 10 seconds long and they're moments from players so instead of getting like a mark of smart or like instead of getting a lebron james basketball card you get a lebron james video of a lebron james dunk in an important game at an important time as an example. And then you

now own, if there's a thousand of that in LeBron James dunk, you own one of a thousand, or if there's only one, you own that one. That thing has taken off to such a degree. I tried during All-Star Weekend, I tried to get in to buy some packs because they ran out and they they can't make them fast enough i got in line i was never closer than 129 000th in line to buy the packs this last weekend and they only released them in in 60 000 chunks and i tried it three times and after you get one the first time you're not eligible to get back in line so each time they they they would they would throw 60 000 of those packs out, people would buy them.

And then immediately, my point being, I never got any closer. It was like there was millions of people trying to get those stupid packs. Anyway, NFTs are going crazy. They're going everywhere. So I've been reading about them and I've been learning about them

and I've been thinking about them and I decided that why not become an NFT artist myself? And so if you'll look in the Discord, I have created my first NFT and I've shared so if you'll look in the Discord, I have created my first NFT, and I've shared it with you. Okay. One of one ham sandwich. I'd say,

did you take these photos, Jeff? I took the photos, yes. And it's one photo and one video. If you click on the photo, you get to see a video authenticating it. And you can buy that. It's the only one in existence. Now, no one has purchased it yet. I

understand that, you know, well, I haven't gotten the word out there. But let me read the description for you to understand what's happening here. There's a picture of a ham sandwich, and on it, in mustard, painted with a paintbrush, because this is art. It says one of one. It is the only sandwich I made that day.

It is the only sandwich made with those specific ingredients at that moment in the world. I then ate that sandwich. It no longer exists. So I think this description of the art adequately surmises what you're getting here. One of its only one of its kind. Extremely rare as sandwich no longer on earth in this form has been responsibly biologically recycled. You can own the only remaining evidence of this ham sandwich is life.

A once in a lifetime opportunity to possess a piece of pure ephemera included are the only surviving picture of said ham sandwich, as well as a short video of me eating the first bite. You can buy that. Believe it or not, that was a tremendous amount of effort it took me two days of creating accounts across fucking metamask binance coinbase every diving into blockchain and all this nonsense to be able to list it then i thought thought I'm going to list this thing. Obviously you want your art to sell for like a billion dollars,

right? I mean, that's the goal, but I, I don't feel, I feel like that's, I feel like art has to be earned. So I put it up at what I thought was a really reasonable cheap price.

I'm selling it for one 10th of one Ethereum, which I thought was not a lot of money. It's like a hundred bucks. So it's a little more than I wanted it to be. I thought one 10th of $1 would be like 30 cents. I didn't realize it would be like a hundred and something dollars, but it's up there. It's for sale.

I hope somebody sees it. I hope somebody likes it. I hope somebody, it brings somebody joy and they can, they can relish in the idea that they have the only ham sandwich NFT on earth. I like that. I like that.

You went, you took NFTs straight to the ham zone. That's a great point. You're goddamn right I did, Gavin. And let me tell you why. I'm glad you brought that up. Well, A, I think consistency is important. When I think sandwich, I think ham sandwich.

We even had a discussion about that recently. But I also, you know, I'm a man who dabbles in the ham zone. I'm not, I would be lying. I would be lying, Andrew. I'd be lying, Gavin, if I said that, if I didn't say that there were,

that I had some visions, some places I'd like to take this. First of all, one cool thing about this little piece of art, if you buy it, what I was trying to do is create ham,

you guys remember Hams Across America? Yeah. Yes. You want hams across America? Yeah. You want hams across America? I wanted to create hams across America. Hams across the world. Ham sandwich across the world. I was hoping somebody would buy this for next to nothing. They would hold onto it for a while

and then they would sell it to somebody and people would keep selling it and buying it at a really reasonable price and then people could share this ham sandwich and everybody could own a bite of it, if you will, just for a small period of time um however getting back to the ham zone gavin we've we've essentially turned the collecting world on its head with don zimmer and we've created what could be a a piece of physical currency in in zimmers right like someday if things continue at this pace someday you could potentially go to like a bodega in New York or like to go get a flat tire fixed in Austin and pay in Zims.

It's possible. You could pay in like, how much is that? You'd be like, well, yeah, I fixed a flat tire and I had to align your wheels. That's three Zims. And you're like, no problem. Here you go. Here's your Zims. That's physical, right?

But we're living in a digital world, here's what i'm thinking what if we created we meant and create which by the way you have to mint this that's it costs money i think i paid i think i paid 90 to make this so when i said if i sell over 100 expensive ham sandwich in the world yeah i think it cost me about 90 bucks uh with transfer fees and minting uh So I will not be making any money off of it if it ever does sell. However, what if we created HamCoin? We can mint and create HamCoin. We can take Deli Ham. We can cut it into circles.

Then we can write some sort of ham logo on them, like imprint it in the physical ham. Then we can NFT a small number of those, like say five, and then that becomes official ham currency, and it is the rarest currency on earth. And because we're creating it, we set the value. It's like GME, right? It's worth what we say

it's worth. And if we want to mint more ham coin, we can. We can make another five ham coin, we just need a little bit of ham. So you want like a scarcity ham coin. You want. This is amazing. So it's going to be just pictures of a ham coin, though. Well, yeah, but you'll own those pictures.

OK, because you don't want to. You don't want currency. Do you have to eat within the week? Yeah, no, no, no. It'll go bad. It'll go bad. And by the way, can I just say I'm not because I was I received some criticism from Gus earlier. I'm not a monster who puts mustard on the outside of my fucking sandwiches.

OK, that was clearly just to know it's artistic. Yeah. Yeah. And I used a paintbrush because it is art. You know, anyway, there you go. This is the first this is my first piece of digital new media art. Now that I am the NFT artist, I don't know what's coming next uh you know art art's funny that way but i will say as an aside as a business venture i would like you guys

to uh do a little bit of take a little bit homework home and start thinking about ham coin what it could be for how powerful it could be what we could do with it how we could revolutionize change the world how many ham coins should that be well at least five one for each of us but then certainly there needs to be more than five there needs to be more than five i agree what about maybe ten one one for each of us and one for the world okay yeah we can do that we could absolutely do that it's just this one coin being passed around in the world and then all of a sudden our coins might be worth selling one day. People, look. Elon Musk's tweeting about Dogecoin.

How fucking far off are we from Hamcoin? All we gotta do is get Bezos on board, right? We'll be fine. Yeah. Or Bill Gates? Or what about Balmer? Balmer's into sports. He's into basketball.

He owns the Clippers. I'm into sports basketball. I'll, what about Balmer? Balmer's into sports. He's into basketball. He owns the Clippers. I'm into sports basketball. I'll slide in with Balmer, slide into his DMs. I'll hit him up about ham coin. Boom. Maybe I'll get working on the vegetarian option, like tofu coin for people who don't want to trade ham. That's a great point.

That's a great point. That is a really good point. Yeah, we should have a vegetarian option. A vegan option. Keto coin. The idea of paying something with a tofu coin and you get ham coin has changed. It's like, no, I'm a vegetarian. Anyway, that's it.

That's what I have prepared for this week's F*** Face. I took doing a better job to heart and I created two new lines of business for us because i can't point to any dumb thing that i'm not gonna i'm gonna try really hard not to fall or off of anything or run into anything or electrocute myself or trip or hurt myself in any way for a while going forward uh and so i had to come up with something in some arena that didn't involve me getting an owie. And this is the best I could do. I'm a full supporter of this.

I hope that the beef bracelet or uniform is willing to take Hamcoin as a currency. I think you got it. I'd like to know what the ratio. Yeah, I think we have to figure that out. And the ratio has to be set. It's funny you mentioned the injury thing. I fucked up my back earlier in the week.

What happened? Yeah, that's a great... So I woke up. My ribs hurt. My upper back hurt. Just everything hurt. When I tried to move, it was not good. Breathing, not fun.

Laughing, painful. Which pillow did you wake up on? Like, which number up the stack? Yeah, five. I always wake up on five. I was trying to figure out what happened. And I was really like, it was a struggle. I was thinking, what did I do?

Did I somehow sleep weirdly? Did pillow five betray me? Do I need to adjust? Did falling asleep in a bathtub over several days? Has that caught up to me? I shaved. Did I somehow have like a freak shaving injury where I pulled a muscle in my back.

What is going on? I was thinking about it all day. Couldn't figure it out. I then mentioned to someone, yeah, I don't know what's wrong with my back. They said, didn't you fall the night before? I fell and I forgot. I was trying to figure out this mystery. I tripped.

I fell as hard as maybe I've ever fallen in my house. It was no good. And it was I got AirPods. So I connect this to Jeff. I was ever fallen in my house. It was no good. And it was... I got airpods so I connect this to Jeff. I was making fun of your fall, your bike fall. I was thinking about how funny your airpods falling. Within 30 seconds of me putting airpods in I fell. Oh yes.

Did they go flying? It was not good. They did not go flying but it is the hardest... I cannot emphasize enough how hard I hit the fucking floor in in my room what caused you to fall okay this is what it was it was uh i got very i had to use the bathroom i was like these are great these airpods are great i was doing my little shimmy to get there because i have to shimmy through my room and i stepped on uh i stepped i knocked over a cabinet earlier in the day and i didn't realize that i

knocked over a plastic sushi container so while i was doing my shimmy my foot went in the sushi container i did the splits and i could do nothing but fall back and i lit you're slipping on old sushi man no no no it's an empty container was perfectly clean it was like the plastic like portable case you would have foot went in it i slid across the floor then fell backwards and like the whole building shook it was so bad i hit so hard but it wasn't painful at the time. That's why I think I forgot that that happened, because my main thought was like, I don't think a stuntman could have felt better than I just fell. I feel no pain.

This is great. I landed perfectly, but I completely forgot about it the next day. I woke up and I was so confused as to why my entire back was fucked. Was anyone else in the house? No, it was just me. I'm sure, but I'm connected to other people. They definitely would have felt it. Yeah, you upstairs, were there people below you?

No, there were nobody below me, but the people in the unit next to me would 100% have felt it. It was, I couldn't like, imagine the impact of like a home run, but my back on the hardwood floor like it rattled out it was one hell of a fall how is it pop how's it possible you for you did that and didn't put two and two together do you think you hit so hard you knocked the memory out of your brain that yeah

it's possible did you bang your head at all, I didn't hit anything but my back. I landed perfectly. It was like a professional stuntman fall. I just forgot about it. It was odd. It was an odd thing. And I went to the extent of like, I thought I somehow heard it while shaving

was my main thought. Yeah, I was like, I was like a weird, well, because I shaved my beard. I grew a beard from like October until I guess last week and I shaved it but I just use like a handheld razor. Wait so you had a big bushy beard this whole time? Oh I had a beard I wouldn't say it was big and bushy but I had a beard and so I shaved it. I can't imagine you with a beard.

It took like over an hour to do because I was just using a shitty razor. An hour? Yeah I spent like 90 minutes shaving and I'm good using a shitty razor. An hour? Yeah, I spent like 90 minutes shaving, and I'm good. I got it done. But I thought, maybe I somehow screwed it up. Like, maybe I threw something out on my back while I was doing my 90-minute shave.

Maybe you thought the injury was time-based. So you're like, well, I spent 90 minutes shaving, but only like half a second falling. It had to be the shaving. Yeah, it definitely... The time was the bigger issue i don't think i've hit anything harder than i hit my floor yesterday it was or i guess a few days i'm surprised you didn't get winded no i didn't get winded at all as i said it was such a perfect upper back landing it was flawless didn't hit my head everything was just naturally tucked and the panic like it was not calculated at all i cannot

my foot sliding and it's just there's nothing i could do and i had that moment of like i just gotta fall it's that's how i will create the least amount of damage to myself i kind of dove backwards and just smashed i'm very impressed that you know with your ankles you didn't do more damage you somehow got out of that with an act without an ankle injury and that's very impressive kidding man yeah thankfully no ankles were harmed in that fall but stepping in my back how has your sleep been for your ankles lately how's my what how's sleep been for your ankles lately oh sleep is fine i haven't injured my ankle in my sleep since the injury that was a real bad time though i kept rolling my ankle in bed. I forgot about that. That sucked. So your ankle's 100% now? My ankle's pretty

close to 100%. I still have a thing where if I tilt it at a certain angle and slowly roll into it it really hurts until it pops and then it's good. But outside of that, I'm fine. Maybe we're ready for the marathon then. Yeah, I've been thinking about that. That's been on my mind, for sure.

I'm recovering from a back injury at the moment but as soon as the back injury is healed i like the idea of you running a marathon when you still you struggle to move from bathroom to bedroom without stepping on sushi containers well it's you know it's happened one time and it only happened because i knocked something over earlier in the day but you slipped over in the bathroom recently like since face you've eaten it straight forwards in the bathroom Yeah, I did, but that was like I slid on my underwear There's nothing to grab my only option was to grab the towel bar and I would just don't just fall with me

I'm not gonna take the towel bar out the wall with my fall So I just had to wait on my I let these split-second decisions like I could grab that But that would result in the towel bar coming down, potentially damaging. And this is all while you're falling. So you just, like, throw your arms up. Like, I'm going down! Yeah, no, it's very...

I use that time wisely, Gavin. When I'm falling, I got a solid half-second of thought where I'm calculating the impact. Somebody who's rolled their ankle a lot, I consider a lot of things, bad things are happening, as far as rolling or falling. Amazing. I think this is pretty good.

Hey, let me ask you guys a question. I've been thinking about merch ideas. I did pay attention to that, Eric. I did. I just don't know how to respond to it. You can't relate? No, I can for sure. I sprained my ankle sitting in the car the

other day like it fucking sucks being old and i like emily said something and i turned to look at her and sprained my ankle and i was sitting in the passenger of the car i don't know how that happened fucking brutal uh i can only uh i i can only hope that you're okay and that you suffer no long-term lingering effects i think he was uh implying that I was queuing up the outro for us, if we wanted to. That you didn't notice that. I'm assuming that's what Eric was mentioning. Not that you didn't comment on the injury. Oh, I thought Eric was saying Jeff didn't care about your story.

I thought he was saying I didn't care about your story. Which I did. I care very deeply. What did you mean, Eric? Oh, both. It just felt like Jeff was zoned out. Because then, in an apropos of nothing, he goes, let me ask

you guys about something at 57 minutes. Maybe he was eating. I wasn't eating, but I was thinking about the remainder of the show and if there was anything else I wanted to get. I was running through the remainder of the show in my head. I was directing and I wanted to cover one more thing. Andrew, how would you feel if we created a t-shirt similar to this but it was like a reward

flyer poster not for a serial killer but for the vancouver child kicker it's funny you mentioned that jeff i uh i want to take i should i talk about this here i guess we'll edit it if we don't i want to take the child kicker story and turn that into a short film i think i want to make like a poster for it i've been thinking about this for a while i just haven't constructed it i want to put the child kicker in film festivals i think we could do this can i can i work on it yeah i'd love for you to work yeah you absolutely you could contribute in some way I think it's a fan fucking tastic idea. And I hope that in the process of doing that, we can make a T-shirt that has a is a flyer for hopefully the Vancouver Childkicker.

I like this idea a lot. I think that could be a good boost to the Childkicker brand. We might have a franchise. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. And then for art style. So I'm trying to find like like kind of similar to that but i'm thinking like raymond pettibone uh like here something like this kind of art style but with the the mixture of that other one i think it's gonna be great

i'm really excited okay yeah no i like that i like that a lot it's offensive well don't mention what it is just this just you're looking at the art. You're not reading it. I think if we make a shirt that has that poster in it, we should just put those posters up around Vancouver and see if it makes the news. That's a great idea. Can we put a billboard up somewhere? Here's where I was going, dickhead. I was hoping that Andrew would say yes.

Then I was hoping I could get merch on it to make the flyer that we could put on a shirt or the audience would do it. Then I was hoping I could get merch on it to make the flyer that we could put on a shirt or the audience would do it. Then I was going to after the art asset was created and it existed. Then I was going to start contacting people in Canada and get Andrew's entire town flyered so that he was the fucking killer. But thanks for ruining that one. I mean, he didn't ruin it.

I mean, you just yeah. Also, like you just revealed your plan. He just brought up an idea. it. He just cut that. I mean, you just, yeah. Also, like, you just revealed your plan. He just brought up an idea, and you could have just ignored that. You just decided to say it. That would have been too late at that point. It was too late. No, I wouldn't have thought about it.

I still like this idea. I think we should get Childkicker flyers in places. Here's what we need to do first. That's step two, and I do want to do step two. Step one is going to be littering sushi wrappers and containers around your your apartment so that you trip on one fall down hit your head forget this conversation happened okay and then it'll be new i want to litter the path of this marathon with sushi

oh man it is a dangerous game i if i think of going forward it wouldn't be a problem it was that i was shimmying is what caused the fall. It's really hard to pull out of a shimmy slide. Unshimmy your damn place. A regular day-to-day shimmy is a bad environment. Yeah, I agree. No, I agree. It is not good.

I need to move some things. A shimmy should be an occasional movement, not the, like you shouldn't, like crab walking and shimmying shouldn't be the main way you get around in life. Yeah, but I'm also, you know, maybe secretly training for the great sewing machine battle Gavin and I one day are going to have. I'm getting my work in. I'm practicing.

I'm doing ankle moves. That's totally fine. A little ankle exercise. Was it me and you or you and Jeff doing the sewing machine? No, I think it was you and I. Oh, was it? Oh, shit. Yeah, I think so.

If he's able to beat you, then he can try to take on the master, but I don't know that I'm still in the game. Oh, boy. No, I know. Yeah, no, I just pulled a muscle. Muscle pull. Wait, what happened? You were sitting.

Muscle pull. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I pulled a muscle. So you couldn't even go one episode without hurting yourself. Yeah, were you shimmying? Nick's got a great point. No.

Oh, okay. I'm good. Which muscle? My lower thigh, I guess. I don't know. Lower thigh? Your knee? No, not my knee.

Okay, so what's my upper thigh, right? That's an area. What would I describe this as? Like the area, the landing strip to the knee on the bottom side like like if you went yeah like the highway that would connect the now i wouldn't say it was the groin it's like the highway between the highway did you say like your navel to your knee what do you mean the landing no no no no no okay just let me let me explain stop interrupting me and then you can ask questions so let's say you took your...

It's my right ass cheek, right? And you're driving straight in your destination. Yeah, we're on the lower... We're on the back side. If you're driving straight from the right ass cheek to the back of your knee, your right knee, it's in that muscle group between them, the area between whatever, like the leg... Is it a hamstring? I don't know what's here. I pulled it, though. Ham coin? I don't know what's here. It did it it I pulled it though I'm good now

Hampton mm-hmm. Where's the landing strip? Isn't that on the front? No, no, no, I'm saying so if you were driving Driving on your ass Yeah if you're driving if you were Started on my right ass cheek and you needed to get to the back of my knee and you took a straight shot to like the the most direct way of getting there that strip a muscle that's like on the leg but not on the butt like past the butt your hamstring is it my hamstring what's that got to do with the landing strip wait is what is that what you said is the

landing strip on the front is your butthole the landing strip? No, no, no, no, no. Is the landing strip a part of the body? What have you been doing? No, I was just, it was supposed to be an analogy of like- What's your landing strip? Oh, well, like a runway runs quite a distance. So my point was, and then I switched to highway. On your body, where's your landing strip?

Well, I don't understand how to answer that question. See, okay, Gav, here's where I think the communication is breaking down. I think you and I both, when we hear landing strip, we think pubic area, probably. Yeah. Like the pubic V, pitcher's mound, landing strip, whatever you want to call it, like that area, the

groinal area on the front. And I don't think, I think Andrew I think Andrew's literally thinking, if I landed a plane on somebody's butt cheek, the landing strip would be the area going forward to the foot. Yeah, that's exactly what I was talking about. Yeah. If you're to land, like I was trying to explain the area. Yeah, your landing strip on your butt, your toe elbows.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, is that the hamstring? From butt to the back of the knee, I think it's. Here, let me. I'll throw a photo up quickly so we could. Of yours?

I'd just like to know what I pulled. No, not of mine. I'm just. Give me a second. Let me drop this in so we can all understand and you can tell me what I just pulled. So at like where sort of like. He's posted a picture of Operation, the game. Yeah.

Well, it's just it's a body I figured I could use. That's the fun, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't see the hamstring. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You need a copy of Anal Operation. Yeah, where's Operation from the rear? That'd be a great game.

Operation 2? It's the opposite side of the charlie horse what's on the other end of the charlie horse that the charlie horse is at the top what's at the bottom of the charlie horse area that's where i pull yeah isn't that your quad or your hamstring i don't know that's what yes well yeah you don't fucking know where is this charlie horse there i think would be the quad although that should be closer to the knee i well yeah i think it's hamstring is what you're on about on the back. Alright, hold on. I'm looking up a fucking...

I'm not using operation. I'm using real bodies. Uh, it's your... Oh! It's your rectus femoris. Yeah, your rectus femoris, I believe is what you're referring to. Yeah, it's definitely not the hamstring. Oh, wait a second. It might be the hamstring. Your quadricep.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's part of the hamstring, I'd say, based on this photo. It might be the hamstring. Your quadricep. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's part of the hamstring, I'd say, based on this photo. Eric said you should end this. Eric's lost interest. Thanks for listening to another episode of F*** Face.

I can't believe it's already over and we barely got to hear from our fearless leader, Eric. I know he had a lot he wanted to talk about. I guess he'll have to bring it up next week.

I can't hope to end the show as brilliantly as he began it, but I will do my best. So if you enjoyed this podcast and would like to leave a review on whatever platform you listened to this podcast,

we would certainly appreciate it. Maybe tell a friend or a family member, hey, I like face. You're a bit of a face yourself. Why don't you face this podcast? And you do that. And I promise we'll be here next week and we'll make you another one. Can we sell a bit of a face yourself why don't you face this podcast and uh you do that and i promise we'll be here next week and we'll make you another one can we sell a version of operation that's just

andrew pantin and it's all the stuff is like in the ankles oh that's a great that's a great idea that's a great operation operation andrew it's his landing strip leg and his ankle bone his like his elbow is his waffle bomb. Like we could come, oh, it'd be awesome. Could, uh,

I just want to ask you this quickly, Gavin, because we didn't get to it again. When you were wearing the tag that would set off the alarms, I had a similar problem. What was your solution? Did you change how you'd go into stores? Yeah.

I'll tell you all about it in episode 44.