F**kface - These are the New Standards // Regulators Episode 1

Episode Date: November 24, 2024

In Regulators, we have set out to choose the regulation version of everything but the important twist: not all 5 members of the show can be present for an episode. Each episode will bring a different... group arguing and debating what the regulation version of your favorite items are. Let us know what you think of our choices. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:59 Hello and welcome. I was playing too because he wasn't in. No, keep going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, go ahead, Gavin. Hello. I'm gonna do something about will go ahead. Yeah He wasn't in payday either which was another heist which is funny. Yeah, he's just not a heist guy Well, he's not he doesn't like anything illegal. He's very by the book. It's why he plays Call of Duty or whatever He's a man of honor. Oh, no, that's a different series. It's Medal of Honor. That's a different one That's the is that the other Steven Spielberg one?
Starting point is 00:01:28 Remember how that Ridley Scott Delta Force game is coming out? Yeah, that that was Medal of Honor was saving Private Ryan, right? And they partner with him or something. Or yeah, I think so. I think so. So long ago. What does it matter? What is the what's the Ridley Scott game? The we saw it at Summer Games Fest, where they're like levels inspired by the Black Hawk Down film.
Starting point is 00:01:49 That's right. It's it was called like Delta Force. Delta Force. Yeah. It's like Delta Force Black Hawk Down. And it's just like you are the Black Hawk that has gone down and you must escape. And it's like, oh, what year does this game come out? What happened? Feature sequences from the Ridley Scott film. And it's like that.
Starting point is 00:02:09 That was a movie based on a real event. It's sort of a weird framing of so bizarre. I mean, there's probably some exaggerated action. But what are we doing here today, Andrew? We're regulating is what we're doing. We are doing them calling this the regulators. We are the regulation crew. This is not all of us, but we have three people here.
Starting point is 00:02:26 That's enough for a majority. Fuck them. Fuck Nick, fuck Eric. They're not here. They don't get to decide. They got to live with these guys. Well, now let's be clear. I'm Eric.
Starting point is 00:02:34 Oh, I said Eric? Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Nick and Jeff. Sorry, sorry, man. Gut reaction. Andries filler wasn't on. No, I just was looking at our chat.
Starting point is 00:02:46 I just read your name and I was used to you being away last week. So I'm still adjusting. Fuck Nick. Fuck. Jeff is what I meant. So, OK, cool. Yeah, OK. Really. And we got to pick stuff. We got to set regulations on things. Now, I used to have the regulation bagel and that was great.
Starting point is 00:03:06 So I figured we could go through some items and deem what we view as the regulation version of that. So these are things with a variety of options. So we've been we've been deep in our hot dog era right now. Eating lots of dogs inside of I don't think Gavin. I don't think you've had a hot dog, have you, since we started camping? No, yeah, I'm not on the board yet.
Starting point is 00:03:28 Not on the board. Now, but here's the thing about the hot dog board. And I had to explain this to my dad when I told him about the hot dog, the dog count situation, when I said like, oh yeah, I've had like five this month, and like, that's the most I've had all year. And he went, oh, so it's like a competition
Starting point is 00:03:44 to see who can eat the most? And I went, no know it's just a counter to see how many you've had. However it is activating something within me that makes me feel like it is a competition where I have to eat the most hot dogs which negates the whole situation. Yeah, I'd love to talk to Jeff about if that is the same for him, because that man's on like 10 dogs and we're like three weeks into this. And the whole point was this seems crazy. Like, no, it's not a problem. He is. Oh, my God. He is consuming so many. But I think we need to set.
Starting point is 00:04:17 What is the regulation hot dog? What do you view if you were to say, I want a hot dog? What do you think is the expectation of what that package is dog ketchup busted? Oh, you don't okay, but here, but here's the thing like I think people get so Feisty about what's on a hot dog in the Pacific Like I think like Chicago is like a big like you know catch ketchup right like weird it is they're like aggressive about it Yeah, uh, I googled hot dog and it came up with oh a ketchup and mustard dog Interesting I would agree. I think there'd be a large
Starting point is 00:05:01 Percentage people arguing maybe onion or relish. Yeah, I and I think that's kind of like where I land more. However, we have to consider that this isn't necessarily what we like, right? It's more about what if you were to get just, hey, we're getting hot dogs. This like, and we're not saying anything about it, it's just hot dogs, right? I think we have to like it, but it it's not necessary like if we're setting a regulation
Starting point is 00:05:29 It should probably be representative of us But I think there also has to be some consideration of like what the expectation is of that thing this This is going to be very hard for me Personally because I hate ketchup. I hate yellow mustard. I hate relish. I hate like most of the stuff that goes on a hot dog. Here's three hot dogs. I look at these and I go terrible. So the three hot dogs are one ketchup, one relish, one mustard. Yes. Where does your moisture come from? Where does the wetness happen for you? Like I like a sriracha or typically a chili cheese is usually what I
Starting point is 00:06:13 go with. However, I can't in good conscience say the default like the regulation hot dog is a chili cheese dog because that's a separate things. And that's where I'm coming from with this where it's that's totally fair. Yeah, where it's like- That's totally fair. Yeah, like it's hard for me because I don't like, I don't like ketchup and I like, you know, hearty like stone ground mustard. I don't like French's yellow. I think it tastes so bad.
Starting point is 00:06:37 I think it tastes so, so bad. What about great poupon or whatever that other one is? Yeah, you need like the stone ground mustard. Like that's, that's my move, but like, man, I don't know. Gavin, like when you eat a hot dog, what are you putting on your dog? If I'm eating a dog, it's probably a baseboard. I'm just putting ketchup and mustard.
Starting point is 00:06:55 And if there's onions, I'll stick those on, but nothing more advanced than that. I'm shocked you're not a relish guy. Relish feels so like you. No, it looks rough. Really? It's like bad Branstad. I was gonna say to me. It's Branston adjacent I figured you'd be all about it. Yeah, but it's too like pickly even though Branston It's already the whole it just started and it's already falling apart. This is good. This is good. It's already, it just started and it's already falling apart. This is fantastic.
Starting point is 00:07:25 I had no idea you felt so strongly about ketchup and mustard, Eric. That's really interesting to me. Yeah, I've just never been that way. I just don't like that stuff. Ketchup is so sweet to me that it just doesn't belong on most things. And then mustard, like French's yellow mustard,
Starting point is 00:07:45 it's just not, it's not appetizing. I don't think it smells or it looks or anything. Oh, it smells terrible. Ketchup grow on me. I didn't have ketchup until I was in my 20s and I moved here. Really? I always avoided it, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:58 Interesting. Don't know what happened, just palate changed. Maybe we start more gradually. Can we agree on a bun? Are we just talking like a standard white bun? Yeah, I think it's got to be just a standard one. No, just a basic plain ass white one. Yeah, I think it's gotta be just a straight white.
Starting point is 00:08:14 Like, I also think those ones that are cut along the top, like the newfangled bun, I think that's too much like advanced bun technology. Sure. I just need the one that you like set on the side and sort of like a regular hot dog bun. I think that's too much like advanced bun technology sure I just need the one that you like set on the side and circle regular hot dog bun. I think that's it Yeah, okay, so we all agree on that All basic hot that we were not trying for no smokey. No brought like no crazy. This is the standard package dog Yeah, now we're at the condiment issue. It's a big issue. It's a big issue. Um, because it sounds to me like there's a world in which you would have mustard just
Starting point is 00:08:50 not necessarily. Yeah, I like stone ground mustard. Like a like a big, you know, like the big seed, like actual mustard. I like that. What about English mustard? Oh, what is English mustard? It's yellow still, but it's it will like blast up your nostrils if you have too much. Oh, like oh, so it's a hot It's like a hot mustard. It's not it's we talking horse radish. She it's very horse radish. Yeah, it's Coleman's
Starting point is 00:09:16 Yeah, I don't know that it comes in a powder sometimes or in a little pot. I don't want powdered very sparingly, huh? I mean, I guess I could be okay with that. I don't know that I've had it. Oh, we got to get you some. Oh, okay. What if we all present to you our dogs? But I just told you all the things I don't like. I don't think I would be the right person for this one.
Starting point is 00:09:38 I think it would be more the mustard that we'd present him with. Mustard alternatives. Yeah. And also I don't want to do anything with mustard. I hate it. Yeah, that's fair. I'm convinced that you'll like my mustard. So it's this one on the left, the English mustard. It's like thick peanut butter.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Yeah, but don't confuse it with like French's, which looks very similar. Yeah, okay, cool. I mean, I would try it. I just think French's is terrible. And I really like that beer mustard, like the picture that I just said, that really like stone ground, like huge seeds.
Starting point is 00:10:09 That I think is so good. I love that. But I don't think that's what people go to for hot dogs. I think, do we have to get, and I guess we have to decide, do we have to get super specific or could we just say a mustard? A mustard is on the dog and that's good enough.
Starting point is 00:10:27 I could say, I could go with just mustard on a dog. The problem is ketchup because I don't think there's a ketchup alternative to you. No, I think that there's just, I think, I think I will have to sort of acquiesce and be like, this is a thing I don't enjoy but I understand why people need it on their hot dog. What about bacon? Like that's too extravagant, right?
Starting point is 00:10:48 Or is that love it? Love it. But does not I don't think when I think regulation hot dog, I don't think it's on there. And no cheese as well. I assume that's in the same category. Yeah, I think that cheese is more in like the chili cheese dog territory. OK, that just becomes that's like a different food altogether. I guess this is here's the dilemma that I can in my head. I'm now facing with this. I love ketchup, but I'm OK with just mustard on a dog.
Starting point is 00:11:17 However, it feels kind of insane for us to say the regulation hot dog is a plain hot dog with just mustard on it. Now, this is what we're currently. I think the right honestly. The regulation hot dog is a plain hot dog with just mustard on it. No I think the right honestly Honestly, what I would propose is the regulation hot dog is just a hot dog on a bun. That's what I just Dog yes, that's surely has. Oh, I don't mind a plain hot dog. I'll have a plain dog But oh, I'll eat I'll eat nine playing hot dogs. Yeah, I don't give a shit. Come on. Yeah! Yeah!
Starting point is 00:11:47 Oh, you gotta get the real flavor of the bread and the meat. Mm. The flavor of the bread. I gotta taste the pigeon beak and raccoon feet. Otherwise, what am I doing here, Gavin? Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. This is raccoon 1989, I believe. A slight hazelnut.
Starting point is 00:12:04 This is insane. I think you're gonna make the regulation Well the problem is I'm thinking about the other guys I think Nick hates ketchup doesn't eat or Jeff hates get so one of Them hates ketchup, you know I don't know I think one of them hate you hate ketchup though It doesn't a dog you can plow, though. It doesn't a dog. You can plow through it. It's not a dog. Yeah, I just listen. I'm all for it. I again, I'm fine with acquiescing and go.
Starting point is 00:12:33 I'm totally fine with it. So it sounds like we're in agreement. So I feel regulation dog is not necessarily French's mustard, which is I feel what most people would say, But a mustard of some kind, ketchup of your choice, and then just a basic white. No bacon, no cheese, just dog, ketchup, mustard. I think that's what it has to be. I think that's what...
Starting point is 00:12:59 I think people would argue that a relish belongs on there, but I'll stand on that hill and say, no, I don't think so. Like I don't, I'm not for it. I don't like relish. So I have no problem. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's this. I just sent a picture. That's, that's hot dogs. I like that. That's relish, but they don't use it. Yeah. There also appears to be onions. So, you know, I like that we're in agreement just before we move off of hot dogs to lock in this regulation dog I do you get artistic when you do the condiment thing? I never the lines and all that
Starting point is 00:13:31 I'm not one of those guys No, I put it I put it down the side of the dog in the bun. So that way it's not splashing all over the place Yeah, what about you Gavin you a little condiment? I do it pretty similarly to the the picture there Yeah, but usually I'm doing know, two or three at a time because I don't want to go up to the counter twice. Yeah. So my first one is usually the nicest and then I'm getting pretty messy on the third one.
Starting point is 00:13:54 We did it! We established the regulation dog. But hang on, before we go, I just propose this. Look at these. Listen, Eric, I'm with you. I love it. Just a plain ass Here's just here's just like you're just eight dogs It just a hot dogs nothing on them
Starting point is 00:14:13 You couldn't put those out with nothing else. Yeah, be like people pick up the burn and the dog and start looking around Where's the station imagine Eric you and I just sitting down, chowing down on some plain dogs and Gavin is looking at us like we're psychos. I can easily eat three of those things. Like just without question. Oh, no doubt. No doubt. Yeah. We're just eating plain dogs, baby. Just having some dogs. OK, I have a, I just thought of a game, actually, before we move fully on.
Starting point is 00:14:44 Of course. Oh, okay. Cool. I want your opinion on, on my game. Let me get pictures. Okay. What if we did a game where you make, you make four dogs, right? Okay. And you take a picture that's sliced like this, but one, and you present five pictures, four of them are dogs, and one is my penis.
Starting point is 00:15:08 OK, I don't want to play this. I don't want to play this game at all. I don't want to play this game. I don't want to play this game. It's going to be because they're all going to look professionally lit like this, except the one that you use to flash on in your bathroom. Oh, my god.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Oh, it's just like a dark room. It's like white, white, white, dark. Oh, what's wrong with the color of this hot dog? Would you put ketchup on your dick for the photogaming? Like to what extent? I'll make it all match for sure. Oh, oh man. That's a terrible game.
Starting point is 00:15:50 You fucked up my algorithm, by the way. I got a tick tock the other day from a woman who runs a glory hole business talking about how she set it up. And it has like it had like 200 likes. Like it was not you. No way. Yeah, it was not it you know way all the yeah It's the whole thing. I watched it. Just completely curious of what even is this world, but oh you're fucking up my algorithm But you just keep making it worse
Starting point is 00:16:16 That's dogs regulation dog ketchup mustard bun basic even basic dog essentially yeah, we're in agreement nothing fancy We have a few things we go from here. What about we do French fry cut for a lot of food Okay on this one, but it's the main thing I could think a variety of what about fry What is the regulation fry? I feel like curly is too fancy. Yeah, I I'm particular I'll eat any french fry But I'm particular about which fry that I like, like which one I enjoy the most. And to me, it is the standard McDonald's cut french fry,
Starting point is 00:16:52 the thin, long and crispy french fry. That to me, that's the french fry. When I think of french fry, it's that. It's not a wedge cut, it's not curly. It's the standard idea of a French fry. The only criticism. I choose that. Yeah, right, exactly.
Starting point is 00:17:14 Is it the same thing, Gavin? Yeah. Yeah, pretty much, maybe less pale. Yeah. Right, right, right, right. My only criticism with those fries is because of how small they are, it's really tough. There's a sweet spot with like a crinkle cut or a larger fry where it is extremely crispy,
Starting point is 00:17:33 but still fluffy. Those fries, they're either crunchy or soft. There's no like, yeah, you can get some real limp dick ones in there. Yeah, it's either limp dick or like it's a crunch. But the thing is, I love those. I love the limp ones, I love the crunch ones, I love... That cut of french fry, I don't care what it is, I'll shovel them.
Starting point is 00:17:57 Like I'll make a, dude, I'll have like french fry dinner. I don't give a shit. Like I just wanna eat handfuls of them. I love them so much. I love that cut. The one I can't stand, the one Like I just want to eat handfuls of them. I love them so much. I love that cut. The one I can't stand, the one that I think is a disgrace is the larger, not too big wedge cut.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Like go bigger or go smaller because the wedge cut ones there are awful. It's just like, here's about a sixth of a potato. Yes. That's like an English pub chip. That's great. But that's not what I want. Like if I get french fries at a restaurant,
Starting point is 00:18:35 yeah, if I get french fries at a restaurant and it's those, I'm disappointed. It just depends to me. There's a huge variance in the wedge fry. You need to have a fantastic wedge fry for me to like. I agree. But they exist. It's just hard. I find a lot of wedge fries aren't cooked enough to my liking.
Starting point is 00:18:52 No, I agree. The kind of hundred percent a little bit, it feels like. I want more of a crunch in it. But there are I've had wedge fries that are fantastic. But you got to know like it's not the smaller cut fry that you suggested, I feel like is a much higher rate of consistently good fry as opposed to the wedge may go higher for me, but it is much more likely to fail miserably and be a not experience.
Starting point is 00:19:19 You're a fan of the English less than but you suggested the smaller one. So even you are more of a fan of that. Are you now just thinking about the English less than but you suggested the smaller one. So even you are more of a fan of that. Are you now just thinking about the English style pub? I mean, in a pub, it wouldn't be a regulation fry. It would be a pub fry. Right. It'd be a chip. So you think that the small fry couldn't exist in every environment? I feel like if we're setting a regulation like with a steak, would you have normal little chips or would you want some thickies?
Starting point is 00:19:46 I want normal chips all the time. But with a steak, I don't anticipate they're going to be a regular thin cut fry. I assume I'm going to get a large wedge to substitute for what the potato is doing. Yeah, and you need some, sometimes if you've got gravy going on or sauce, you need some sometimes if you if you've got gravy going on or sauce, you need some soakage. Yeah. And you don't want just really wet, thin fry. I will say
Starting point is 00:20:11 the McDonald's poutine Canada pretty good. And that is the situation with that fry. Wow. Would never thought to get McDonald's poutine. Yeah. I think it's a pretty regional item. Yeah. So you think Eric that that's the worst fries like the thick one? It's the one. It's more the one that I sent than what you sent. Like the difference to me is that those like pub chip pub fries, whatever, like the ones that you sent seem like they're fried pretty well and they have like some structure. The ones that I sent is what Andrew's talking about.
Starting point is 00:20:47 They're pale, they're almost like an undercooked thing. When I get fries like that, yeah. You get fries like that and you just go, okay, you put a bunch of parsley on the outside of it. These suck. Like I'm disappointed more often than not. I just, you know, it's just not for me. I feel like the worst fry, the least satisfying piece of shit
Starting point is 00:21:11 get out of my face fries this the big mountain, the big mountain of like the ultra thin, ultra skinny, extra, extra thin. Awful. Really? They're never. You're never satisfied. You're never satisfied with them. No. It just never happens. See, that's a problem with me and fries in general.
Starting point is 00:21:29 I will eat a million fries, so I'm never satisfied. Oh, me too. No, I'm satisfied the whole time I'm eating them. That's the hard part, is that the satisfaction never dwindles, is that I'm constantly going like, mmm, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
Starting point is 00:21:42 It's like eating candy. Like, I don't wanna ever stop. How do we feel about a waffle fry? I like a waffle fry. I just, yum, yum, yum, yum. It's like eating candy. Like I don't wanna ever stop. How do we feel about a waffle fry? I like a waffle fry. I just don't, I don't know. For it, but I also, if you said, hey, we're gonna have fries,
Starting point is 00:21:56 or I go to a place and I order fries and they're waffle cut without saying they're waffle cut, I think that's crazy. That's fair. The thing I like about the waffle fry is it is essentially the small fries you're suggesting, but they have a larger variance of hitting that kind of crispy but fluffy because there's more potato. Yeah, that's more like internal area.
Starting point is 00:22:17 And I think they're great if you've got a real ketchup situation. It's like it's like a ketchup glove. It is. Yeah, it is great for scooping. I like them particularly when it's the waffle, like the waffle cut French fry, but it has like a curly fry kind of seasoning to it. Oh, that's, that's when I'm real. That's like, I think that's when waffle fries are like at their best.
Starting point is 00:22:41 I agree. I'd agree with that. Oh man. The bad thing about waffle fries is that if it's the edge of a potato, you get these really weird like curved, dreggy ones. Yes. And they are really annoying to me. They really piss me off.
Starting point is 00:22:55 I don't know why they're. No, I get it. I mean, I totally understand. You feel like you're getting. It's like a potato chip almost. It is weird. Like the thing with a normal fry is that they're all pretty good
Starting point is 00:23:06 Yeah, but the the draggy waffle fries are just really unsatisfying the ratios are all screwed up The to me it's the thing that chick-fil-a does I feel like I get it more often. It's something like chick-fil-a where It's what you're talking about Gavin where it's like, okay, you got to You got a couple of good ones and then here's this like little whack-a-doo piece. Yeah. And it's just like, here's the outside of a potato. And what it is, even if the taste is fine,
Starting point is 00:23:33 it's work for you because you're watching them, you iron them up, you're thinking, oh, that's gonna be a great one. I'm gonna save that. Let me get some of these. And then it's just like, I don't wanna be, if it's normal fries, I'm not really thinking about that. I'm just grabbing a handful, I'm stuffing them in.
Starting point is 00:23:46 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you had the waffle fry cut, like, they're very, very thin cut waffle fry, like chips? No. Ooh, that was- Like potato chips? Ooh, they're so good. Yeah, yeah, I would say they're more like a potato chip
Starting point is 00:24:03 than they are the fry, but it's the same kind of principle. They're so good. Yeah, yeah, I would say they're more like a potato chip than they are the fry, but it's the same kind of principle. They're very good. They're very just thin and crispy and you can mow through like a million. Great for dipping too. I really liked them. Is that like in a restaurant or like, where would you get those?
Starting point is 00:24:19 Yeah, there was a bar in San Diego that I would go to all the time and they had those on the menu and you would just like, you go insane for them. They're so good I'm gonna post a general fry chart just so we could kind of lock this in a little oh look at this And then we can get Chris Damarison here, and he can yell about tater tots. This is great there. They are number three Um not a french fry Sounds like which one the standard cut is that what you guys are saying is the one you're leaning?
Starting point is 00:24:42 I would I would say standard cut would be it standard cut is that what you guys are saying is the one you're leaning? I would I would say standard cut would be it. Right. It seems like like I'm fine with that. I think it's a pretty good fry. I think everyone would agree. Mm hmm. Oh, yeah. This steak fry that they're pretty good. I don't know. Chips British are different to steak fries and standard cut.
Starting point is 00:25:04 Oh, interesting. Yeah, and there's potato wedges that should be way lower. I think there's a thing that you kind of. Oh, interesting. Yeah, and there's potato wedges that should be way lower. I think there's a thing that you kind of touched on, Eric. We haven't really explored seasoning is so important on the guys. Do we have it like a unanimous? I love the curly fry seasoning. If I could have that on every fry, I think I would. I like that, too, but I don't need it.
Starting point is 00:25:20 Like, I'm fine with just salt. I'm fine with salt, too. But I'm fine with salt because you only get the curly fry seasoning on the curly fry. If there was a place that just put it on all fries, I would be happy about that. I would never be disappointed to have that seasoning on a french fry,
Starting point is 00:25:36 regardless of cut. If I had crinkle cut fries with curly fry seasoning, that'd be a pretty good french fry. How do you feel about that, Gavin? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? I just think, I think for a regulation french fry,
Starting point is 00:25:50 it has to be salt. It just has to be a straight salt one. OK. I'm confused as to why sweet potato fries would be on that list. How do you mean? I mean, is that the only non-regular potato on the list?
Starting point is 00:26:03 Oh, I see what you're saying. That's just a different thing to me. It's a different. It. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Yeah, I don't think I don't think it probably needs to be on that list. OK. Well, it looks like we are in agreement. The standard cut like the McDonald's style fry.
Starting point is 00:26:19 Just salt. I don't think there's any other variation, really. Condiments, do whatever you want, whatever, you know, you dip it however you feel or don't think there's any other variation really condiments do whatever you want whatever you know you dip it However, you feel or don't yeah, how do you feel Gavin while looking at Eric? And I just eating some fries no dip is that okay? I mean condiments fine okay, okay cool, but okay all right But then what if we eat like six fries, and then we put them down and then we pick up six hot dogs No condiments. What if we are dipping our fries in a condiment,
Starting point is 00:26:46 but just eating plain hot dogs? Yeah, that'd be insane. I don't think anyone would ever do that. Oh, I've definitely done that. I've been there. Plain hot dogs, but dipping your fries in ketchup would be hilarious. Your team requested a ride, but this time, not from you. It's through their Uber Teen account.
Starting point is 00:27:12 It's an Uber account that allows your teen to request a ride under your supervision with live trip tracking and highly rated drivers. Add your teen to your Uber account today. I am so dreading groceries this week. Why? You can skip it. Oh what, just like that? Just like that. How about dinner with my third cousin? Skip it. Prince Fluffy's favorite treats? Skippable. Midnight snacks? Skip. My neighbor's nightly saxophone practices? Er, nope, you're on your own there. Could have skipped it. Should have skipped it.
Starting point is 00:27:47 Skip to the good part and get groceries, meals and more delivered right to your door on skip. OK, we have a few things we can pick from now. OK, I'll let you guys decide. We can stick with food. I have burger pie or action hero. Uh, I kind of want to argue about pie. Do you want to argue about pie, Gavin? Yes.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Okay. What is the regulation pie? I love apple pie, my favorite pie. I don't know if I'd say that's the regulation pie. I feel like it's too high of a tier in my opinion. Okay. I have a question. How is cheesecake not a pie?
Starting point is 00:28:29 I don't know. It doesn't make sense to me either. It has like a biscuity base. Yeah, like a graham cracker crust. Yeah. Yeah. Everything about it is pie, except in name. I'll look it up. I'll see if there's an answer to this question. Because if it is a pie, it's my favorite pie.
Starting point is 00:28:49 I agree with you. If cheesecake is a pie, then that is the ultimate pie. Although if someone asked me if I want a cheese pie, I'd be like, get that away from me. I think if somebody said, do you want a slice of pie? And then they gave me a piece of cheesecake I would be confused I would be thrilled. I'd be going. Oh my god. We're having fucking cheesecake. That's great. I guess it's not a pie because According to the Oxford dictionary a cheesecake is a type of tart Okay But it is a common question what makes it pie like the Okay. Um, that is a common question.
Starting point is 00:29:23 What makes it pie? Like the top has to be? I bet it's probably crust all the way up to like a top and then probably like a crust. Cheesecake is lidless. No, because pumpkin, so is pumpkin pie. Fuck, yeah. Is it? Pumpkin pie is lidless.
Starting point is 00:29:39 Yeah, it is. I thought it had a top. No. No. What? A typical pumpkin pie. Here, pumpkin pie, boom, here. There's no top on a pumpkin pie. Oh, that's not, I've never had it.
Starting point is 00:29:50 It looks repulsive. You've never had pumpkin pie? Pumpkin isn't food, it shouldn't be eaten. What about, I think pumpkin is mostly food. It's not food. What is pumpkin then? Yeah. It's like Halloween shit.
Starting point is 00:30:06 It's Halloween shit? It's decoration you can grow? It's a growable decoration. That's all it's good for. I was going to say that pumpkin pie was my pick for pie. That's interesting. I love pumpkin pie. My grandma would make it and put a layer of cheesecake at the bottom. Oh, oh so good. Oh my god. Wouldn't that make it and put a layer of cheesecake at the bottom. Oh, oh, oh so good. That's not oh my god
Starting point is 00:30:25 Wouldn't that make it a pumpkin tart? I I suppose so but for for the sake of this argument. I would still pick pumpkin pie I could probably house a whole pumpkin pie. I think I could probably eat a whole pumpkin pie. What about okay? Well, it's fun Gavin. What is outside of? Pumpkin are there any other pies you hate? I hate all pies that you would find here I hate all sweet pies I knew it this is why I wanted to argue you got this is why I want to argue pie I knew that Gavin when we go what's the best
Starting point is 00:30:55 pie he was gonna be like it was gonna be this and this isn't even like food to me this is in this is like that's a part of what if you took what a dog eats? On the inside of how you make an apple pie And then you feed it to people as a joke I don't I just don't know why then why your pies aren't called dessert pies a pie shouldn't be It shouldn't be able to fit in any part of the meal Well what pie came first cuz it's their there savory pies, which was the first. Yeah, what was the first? I bet I bet it was savory pies before sweet pies.
Starting point is 00:31:32 I would bet that too. But it is odd that there is a pie is just pie unless it's savory pie. Ancient Egypt and Greece, savory pies and open pastry shells. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that makes sense. I can't imagine ancient Egypt chowing down on some pumpkin pie. It just feels... that's odd. They found a tablet carved before 2000 BC and it was a recipe for chicken pie. Oh!
Starting point is 00:31:58 I just think that when, when this is on the table... Oh, God. Like, this is on the table, oh god, like, oh my god, this is disgusting. This is like what Gavin wants and I don't understand those. I wonder when the last time I had a pucker pie was what is that what that is? No, it was like a brand of little tiny pies. I think. Let me see. Pucker pie.
Starting point is 00:32:24 I don't want casserole with like a bread crust, which is what that one pie looks like. little tiny pies, I think. Let me see. Pucka pie. Oh! I don't want casserole with like a bread crust, which is what that one pie looks like. It looks like there's corn and beans. Dude, yuck, fucking yucka pucka pies. What is that? What's in it? That looks deceptively good from the outside.
Starting point is 00:32:42 You're gonna, yeah, but wait, hey, but are you ready to see the inside, Andrew? I'm ready. I'm ready. You're gonna get pissed. You ready to be pissed? Yeah, I'm ready. Fuck that! Fuck that! That's some bullshit. That is like one of those games where they have to jump in the box and they can't see what it is.
Starting point is 00:32:59 That looks delicious on the, what a fucking joke. What a mean joke. They've got cheese, leek, and potato. They've What a mean joke. They've got cheese, leek and potato. They've got steak and ale. They've got cheese and stuffing or chicken and stuff. This is the craziest. This might be the craziest meal I've ever seen. It's one of those pies and French fries with some, are those peas? If the, well, peas, you don't forget mushy peas.
Starting point is 00:33:24 If you're having fish and chips. Mushy peas are a side. Sure. There's nothing better than sitting down with the family, having a little fish and chips. Someone might get a pucker pie and you just eat it on paper on the table. Brilliant. Happy Sunday. You know the problem with the pie, the savory pie, is it looks like you've gutted an animal
Starting point is 00:33:43 and the insides are just coming out. Yes. Like, yeah, I agree. Visually. But it's all food that you would eat normally. I know, but the chicken or steak. Like, I don't disagree, but there's something about the framing of it visually that is just repulsive. I agree. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:00 Where, where you have something like, like, look, I mean, look at this. That's beautiful. That looks way more gory. Delicious. What? That looks like a dead animal. It's all blood and. No, that's like the pie above
Starting point is 00:34:19 that you're showing the meat pie thing. Yeah. That looks like you cut into the tauntaun or whatever the fuck that thing in Star Wars Is you got to make room for heat and look at Gavin look at that look very delicious That's just that's just a bucket of blueberries with shit on top Yeah, that's barely been converted to a pie at least the pumpkin pie you couldn't see a pumpkin right But isn't that what you just argued about the pucca pie and everything is that it's just what you would eat anyway, but in a pie crust
Starting point is 00:34:46 Yeah, but would you eat a bowl of blueberries? Yeah, absolutely! I did yesterday. I sat down and ate a bunch of strawberries and bananas earlier. What are you talking about? Would you eat? Hey, hey, dude Would you eat a bunch of fruit? Yeah. I feel like what I feel like a little pun at blueberries. You're gonna be putting them on stuff They're gonna be like decorative. You're not just gonna have a bowl spoonfulnet of blueberries. You're going to be putting them on stuff. They're going to be like decorative. You're not just going to have a bowl spoonful of tiny blueberry.
Starting point is 00:35:07 But is all fruit decorative to you? No, tiny fruit is everything. It's like every cherries you put cherries up for putting on top. All right. No for snacking on. I've absolutely eaten bowls of cherries. You must have had the shits. So pumpkin, blueberry and cherry are all just decorations that you can grow?
Starting point is 00:35:28 No, no, no. Pumpkin is decoration that you shouldn't even eat. At least with a cherry you can eat it. I think a meat pie is, dude a meat pie is crazy. What about a Christmas with a mince pie? I don't know what that is. I just don't like mince. That's my problem. I don't know what that is. I just don't like mince. That's my problem.
Starting point is 00:35:45 It's not actually mince. I don't know what mince is. Mince pie Christmas. Well that's not my fault. It's a confusing name. Now is it sweet? What is it? Now what do you think of this?
Starting point is 00:35:53 Ah shit! Do I want to frick that? There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See that's the most appealing because it doesn't look like it's bleeding out. It's like a fruit. It's fruity. Is it raisins?
Starting point is 00:36:03 I don't know if it's raisins. It's usually like fruits of the forest and all that. Like raspberry, blackberries. OK, so so you're fine with that. But for some reason, blueberries is weird. I'm only fine with that at Christmas. Fruits of the forest is such a funny descriptor. Looking at the photo you shared, Gavin, I feel like a child because I realized
Starting point is 00:36:27 that if that star crust wasn't on top, it would be infinitely less delicious looking to me. Oh, I totally agree. That star is carrying the entire dish. It's doing, yeah, the star is doing like a lot of heavy lifting. I just don't think when you think pie, that's not the regulation pie.
Starting point is 00:36:45 No, it can't be. No, it's not regulation. But I think a lot of them are apple. So apple pie would be the regulation pie. Uh, well, are you, wait, are you a fan of apple pie? No, not really. It's fine. I don't like ketchup or mustard.
Starting point is 00:37:02 I think if, if, if you think pie from like a media perspective like like a movie someone's getting pie It's gonna be apple pie the thing though. I agree the problem in that film Yeah, it oh yeah, that was apple pie. Yeah the the do you ever Know go for it. I was gonna say the problem is with establishing a regulation I feel like if we put it at the peak, that lowers all other pies. If that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:37:28 Yeah. Too bad. Too bad. Okay. Like that's the thought. Yeah. I mean, I mean, to me, a regulation pie being apple pie makes so much sense. Okay. Have you guys ever you're going to think I'm nuts? Probably this. I'm not proposing this to be regulation. I think apple pie should be the regulation pie.
Starting point is 00:37:45 Have you guys ever done apple pie with a piece of yellow cheese? No, but I want to. Oh God. That's something Jeff and I have been meaning to try is a different thing. He orders it in taxi driver. And I remember being in college and going like,
Starting point is 00:37:57 that's crazy. There's no way it's good. It's so fucking good. I love a piece of apple pie with a slice of yellow cheese on it. That's insane. It's so good.. I love a piece of apple pie with a slice of yellow cheese on it. That's so good. That is bad shit. So that is so good.
Starting point is 00:38:11 It's like Maine. I don't remember. There was a certain state that that is their dessert. Like that is the state dessert. Oh really? I don't remember which one it is though. But I loved it. I was like so impressed by it.
Starting point is 00:38:23 It adds like a weird creaminess to it that you're not expecting from your pie. And it is like it's bonkers. I love it. I'm surprised you're not on board for this, Gavin, because I feel like it's adding savory to a sweet. Uh, I would try it, but it doesn't. I mean, let's be honest, it doesn't look good. No, it doesn't. But boy, is it fucking delicious. I would argue it looks better
Starting point is 00:38:45 than any of the pies you've posted. That's true. Okay. I haven't posted all my pies. What about a shepherd's pie? Yeah, I don't. No, fuck no. That is, if pumpkin pie isn't pie,
Starting point is 00:38:55 that is just simply dog food with mashed potatoes on top. It's lamb. I really like the top half. Okay, so. I like this pie doesn't even have a bottom. It's usually just done in a big dish where there's meat and then you just put potato on top. See, that's a problem for me because I think the crust is like 60 to 70 percent of a good
Starting point is 00:39:15 pie. Yeah, I 100 percent. I love it. So chef's is potentially a crustless pie unless you really crisp up the spud on top. Which I'm a fan of. That sounds great. But it's no, you know, I don't want to. Do Americans eat peas ever? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:35 Just by themselves. Just not in a pie. Yeah, I think it's just I think it's just a side. I think it's just like side of peas. And then also like you guys have like mushy peas. We don't do mushy. I'm not a fan of the bush. Oh, is that right? I don't even like is it dry? Like is it a wet mush? Like is it what I don't even understand what a mush is. Let me get you some mushy peas See once again all of all of the food that Gavin's posting is a me setting the craziest
Starting point is 00:40:04 It's the craziest shit. I've ever seen. It is a mean trick. He's sending the craziest. It's the craziest shit I've ever seen. It's a practical joke where you look at the top and go, that looks great. And then you go in an inch and it's a problem. See, that looks like fucking dried up guacamole. Oh, it's mashed potatoes. It's green mashed potatoes.
Starting point is 00:40:20 It's some green, that's some Dr. Seuss mashed potatoes. I would love to lay out like a nice like fajita meal. I just replace all the ingredients with different British. So when you go for the black and it's peas. Oh, so sad. Oh, man. So sad. OK. Terrible. Well, I feel like we're leaning apple pie, which is I'm. I think apple pie is the standard. I think apple pie is regulation. I think Apple pie is the standard. I think Apple pie is regulation.
Starting point is 00:40:46 I think that's it. OK, we've locked in regulation pie. OK, and I think we've we I mean, we're at 40 minutes. That's like, it's kind of like let's do one more. I want to do one more. OK, I want to do one more. Yeah, we can either. I feel like we're going to finish strong. I picked pie because I knew we were going to argue about it. I had it in my notes.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Savory pie is an alternative, but I thought that it wouldn't be needed. And also that Gavin would be the only one that has an opinion on savory pie. Yeah. Although Nick, I think fucking Nick food free. Oh, I bet Nick is probably going to come back and look at the pictures that we posted and he's going to go, oh, for like 15 minutes. Yeah, he's going to be like, oh, what did I miss? Let's do it again. This is his worst fear. He missed the thing about food.
Starting point is 00:41:28 We got burgers or action heroes. You want to keep it food? Let's keep it food. OK, let's keep it food. Go all food this episode. Yep. Burger. OK, so what?
Starting point is 00:41:39 Unlike the hot dog, I feel like there's room for conversation about the bun. What type of bun are we talking? We talking a pretzel bun, we talking a brioche, talking a potato or a sesame. A sesame? I, I'm a potato bun guy, but I understand if I understand if that's not where people land. I am, especially if we're trying to come up with regulation burger, you know, like what is the regulation one?
Starting point is 00:42:05 I totally understand if it's not potato. I'm a big potato bun guy as well. I feel like that is the regulation burger bun that that is. That's more than just regulation. That's like bog standard. Yeah. Like that is true. It's just the basic white with sesame on it. Yeah. Yeah. Full on. Full.
Starting point is 00:42:25 I hated them. But I like in the world of bun in the burger bun technology world. It's like we're going back to the 20s with that. There have been so many improvements over the years. Yeah, but they really they really nailed it. Is this the regulation hamburger or just burger? Oh, what? Well, I don't even understand.
Starting point is 00:42:48 What do you mean? Like a chicken burger? Yeah, me neither. I'm excited to find out. Is that what you're saying? Well, because if it's regulation burger, I feel like a cheeseburger could be included. If it's a hamburger, you would specify cheese,
Starting point is 00:42:57 a cheeseburger if you want a cheese. In my head, a cheeseburger is always the choice. Like it's such a, like when I say hamburger, I mean cheeseburger, but you're right, it is technically different. We've talked about this on 100% Eat A Lot, where Michael has said sort of ad nauseam that like, when you say hamburger, what you mean is cheeseburger,
Starting point is 00:43:17 because cheese is the default on a burger. Yes. Like that is what it should be. I think that's backwards. Really? I think if you say hamburger, you mean a burger without cheese. I think you're technically completely right, but I just don't. Yes.
Starting point is 00:43:32 But I don't think that that is what people lean toward more often than not. I think the expectation is cheese on the burger. And it's not about getting the like the wording totally correct. It's that over time that has become the default. Yeah, I just feel like you would say burgers. Cheese on the burger. You wouldn't say hamburger in that case. If I want, if you said we're having burgers,
Starting point is 00:43:55 they better frickin be cheeseburgers. Exactly. If you said we're having hamburgers, I'd be like, this would be insane to assume cheese. Okay, so this is regulation burger. Yeah. Let's call this regulation burger because it absolutely has cheese. It absolutely has cheese. Can I say that the idea that cheese is like an additional thing you pay for?
Starting point is 00:44:12 That's like one of the greatest restaurant tricks. Like they pulled the wool over our eyes. It would be like if they paid a premium for salt on fries is the equivalency. I mean, it's such a it's it's exactly. OK, so we're doing poppy seed. I'm fine with as I said, like I would never opt for that, but I do agree. Sesame poppy sesame. Yeah, that's sesame.
Starting point is 00:44:35 That is sesame poppies. The black one. It is true. Yeah. I see. That's my outrage. I only like those. See, I like the ones with the poppy seed on them. And it's a little bit darker cut. The bun like it's cooked a little bit more. That's the worst version of this.
Starting point is 00:44:51 Oh, I disagree. Poppy seed bun? Yeah. Yeah. A poppy seed. See, what the sesame seed is, that's a Burger King shit, Eric, which I'm surprised you're a fan of. This is just when I get a burger at like a cookout or whatever.
Starting point is 00:45:06 Like, that's it. Like that. That is. That's where we're at. Gavin, did you look up poppy seed bun and you're going, why the fuck is he talking about this? I'm seeing it only on light long buns. Oh, yeah. Like hot dog. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's like if you want to eat a burger the long way.
Starting point is 00:45:23 Yeah. Well, that's like if you want to eat a burger the long way. I wonder if a long Big Mac would be as good as just a Big Mac. I don't think a Big Mac is should we try to make long hamburgers? Sure. Yeah, we should try to make long burgers and see if they're better that way. Oh, are we talking? Is it like are we making burger dogs? We're ashamed. Yeah. OK. Yeah. And not like smash burgers where it's long, but then extended. We got to try to keep some some.
Starting point is 00:45:54 We called those at at Mega 64. I think we called them hot burgers. And then and then and then the other one, I think we called, uh, uh, ham bogs. So that way you wouldn't get too confused. That way you knew about ham bogs and hot dirgers. This type of blunt attack. I feel like, I feel like as soon as you said ham, what did you say? Ham bogs?
Starting point is 00:46:24 Yeah, ham feel like my understanding of like all the visuals in my head just exploded. I lost my holdings of everything. I just completely lost what we were talking about. Yeah. Yeah. We're talking about hamburgers and hot. Okay, so we have the bun with the core cheese. We agree on.
Starting point is 00:46:45 But what type of cheese? Are we talking a cheddar? I personally like mozzarella, but I think a cheddar is probably... I think it's just got to be a shitty American slice, isn't it? I think it's American. I think it has to be American cheese. It's the meltiest. This episode is brought to you by Melissa and Doug.
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Starting point is 00:47:51 Download Bumble and try it for yourself. I also think I'm going to take a swing and say, and I don't think you guys are going to agree, but I guess we'll see where it stands. Onion and tomato are both going on what I think is a standard hamburger. What do you think? Uh, I would say I would have said onion, tomato and less. So I think lettuce is fine. I don't think it adds anything.
Starting point is 00:48:17 And if I'm say, like, if I have a say in this thing, I'm like, get that. Oh yeah, absolutely. I'm fine if you guys want it, but like, I just don't think. I don't think you need it. Lett me is like the the burger thumbnail, though. It's like it makes it look slightly more appetizing, even though it has minimal impact on them. It is the garnish. Yeah. Yeah. Although sometimes they can get a little too thick with the lettuce. And it's like, I'm eating a salad.
Starting point is 00:48:39 I agree. That's why I eat it now. Like, yep, that's where I'm coming from with it, where you get like someone just gets like the one lettuce leaf and they just throw it on there and it's all slippy and everything, and it's just like, no, I want like the bib lettuce, like put a couple of slices on there, it's nice, and it adds like a little something to it, but I'm fine. We can have lettuce on this thing, I'm not opposed to it.
Starting point is 00:49:01 I like lettuce, I like onion, I don't like tomato. That is where I stand, personally. Ooh, okay. but I do agree that the tomato I feel like is a part of the bird Okay, I want if we're if we're it's a little bit of a give-and-take here, then I want no pickles Oh, I'm fine with that get the fucking okay. You don't even see him get him out of there No, I hate him, but I feel like stuff like a big man Oh, you hate gherkins. Oh, hey him. No. I hate him, but I feel like stuff like a Big Mac without a gherkin. You hate pickles? Oh, you hate gherkins. Oh, I hate him.
Starting point is 00:49:28 Oh, I hate pickles. How the fuck do you hate pickles but like Branstad pickle? How is this possible? It's not, like Branstad has other pickle shit. It's like onion, it's other shit. There are no pickles in Branstad pickle? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:43 There has to be pickle. Well, it's not all cucumber. I did. It's insane. That is an insane. No, no, I'm with Gavin on this. I I pickle my own onions at home and they go on like everything. No, totally fair. Yeah, absolutely. Like, I just think pickles are I think pickles.
Starting point is 00:49:58 The actual pickle is vile. I think it's stupid to call something a process. OK, I agree. Unless we change the name of beer to fermentation. Then I'm okay with it. I'm just trying to wrap my head around because I agree with everything you're saying, but the fact you love Branstad Pickles is really what holds me up. It's different.
Starting point is 00:50:19 It's different. That's a jar of pickle, right? It's not a pickle. But there are pickles in Branstad Pickle. They're a small part of pickle right? It's not a pickle, but there are pickles in Branson pickle They're a small part of pies, but it's all different. It's all like obliterated by the pickling process Yeah, Gavin Gavin could tell you all about different kinds of pie also wait if it was a pickled pickle Would you be enjoy that? What do you mean a pickle pickle this what you talk about a cucumber you may if you pickle a pickle if you pick?
Starting point is 00:50:44 Oh, you talk about a cucumber you may if you pickle a pickle if you pick a little talk about pick Boys boys save it for the podcast Like like they're spoonful of pickle it looks like that. Oh, that's awful That looks like more dog food Looks like stuff to feed a dog. Why is it next to a piece of like rolled ham? What's happening in this picture? They're probably cooking up a lovely plowman Stop stop finding plowman everywhere too. It's been terrible. I went to waitress yesterday and I bought a plowman Plowman sandwich
Starting point is 00:51:22 But that's like a that's like an original Plowman's lunch probably just like a layout of all that looks so bad. That spoon that looks like you have, I don't know, like like the plague or something and that's the cure. That's the remedy that they're trying to give you cure. I like cubes of glistening sludge. What could you say? Yeah, you definitely do.
Starting point is 00:51:43 Anyway, back on top of a guy. Okay, so that looks this I just sent an image that fucking that to me is that now here's the thing Condiment wise on the bottom here. It looks like it might be ketchup or something I think if there's going to be a condiment it should probably be Thousand Island. No What no? Yeah, no, are you an idiot? No, we're not doing that No, what? No. Yeah. No. Are you an idiot? No, we're not doing thousands of island. That's an insane. What should be on it? Any like I see I don't like the Big Mac at all.
Starting point is 00:52:11 I'm not a fan of the Thousand Island. I'm OK with like a mayo, like an aioli or a mayo. I'm fine with the mayo. I can live with a mayo. I don't love it, but I can live with a mayo. I typically would do. I don't. Yeah, I don't know. Mustard feels weird live with a mayo. I typically would do, I don't, yeah, I don't know. Mustard feels weird to me on that, but so does ketchup. I don't typically, it's not a burger I would typically eat,
Starting point is 00:52:31 but it looks very appetizing. Mm-hmm. I think we gotta go a-oli or like a mayo or something. Yeah, I think mayo's fair. Gavin, what do you think? Probably go ketchup over mayo, to be honest. What about a garlic a-oli? Probably go ketchup over mayo, to be honest. What about an aioli? What about like a garlic aioli? Yeah, I mean, that just depends. That's how fancy the burger is, right?
Starting point is 00:52:49 Like if I'm making these on my grill, I probably, I'm probably just slinging some ketchup in it. Yeah. But I would rather have an aioli of some sort. Now here's, here's where I can, I'll say Aole's fine. Like I think that that's just dressed up mayonnaise. I don't mind it, it's fine. If we're doing the style of hamburger, I will always go smash burger.
Starting point is 00:53:16 Ooh, yeah. I'm a big sm- Yeah, I like a smash burger. I love it. I love that type of burger. If the burgers are squashed like that and the bread's all mushy and this is wrapped in a bag that's gone transparent because of all the grease. I hate it. Really? That is like so my preferred burger like that picture that I sent. No way better. The one that the one that I sent. Oh my God. Like give me that now. I'll I'll eat 10. Like, let's get it. I don't say wet hands after. Yeah, I yeah. And I will.
Starting point is 00:53:49 And I will suffer those blows to eat. If you're wearing long sleeves, chances are when you're holding it upright towards the mouth, it's going to go down your damn sleeves. All that. It's a good point. Here's the problem. I feel like we're too late to swap to a smash burger because I would change. Oh, wow. Like everything structurally is different to feel like we're too late to swap to a smash burger because I would change the design of all the con.
Starting point is 00:54:05 Like everything structurally is different to me if we're going smash. I don't want anything. I don't want lettuce. I don't want tomato. I'm purely there. Okay. Then what about what about something that's a little thicker than a smash burger? See, that looks fine to me. Okay. Okay. So something that's a little bit thicker. I just don't, I'm so over, my whole life was eating these thick hamburger puck things that were just never altogether like came out right. Yeah, dry, some pieces of moist.
Starting point is 00:54:38 And I just always go for a thinner burger because to me it's cooked better all the way through. I'm fine with that. Like, yeah, do we just clarify, it's not a giant meat patty just like a small yes like a normal sized Not insane Cuz I that that works For me think it's just something on the thinner side, but not now you said you described a only as just Mayo in a disguise That's what I need for my mayo. I can't handle. I fucking hate Mayo
Starting point is 00:55:07 But if I don't know it's there, I don't see it. I like it a lot But I can't. I'm pretty sure he said dressed up Mayo not Mayo like wearing a mask. Whatever. I didn't remember I just knew the idea was that it was Mayo fancied up and that's what I need for my Mayo It is. I can't just have base Mayo. If I do have it, I need it to be hidden in the dish and then I'll be fine. What about salad cream? I know. I don't. Honestly, when I did the Branstad pop
Starting point is 00:55:35 sickle thing, that was so bad that it is like overtaken all the other flavors that I've tried that you've recommended over the years. So I don't remember. But you never had normal Branstad in a normal situation, though. Did I not? Did I not just have hot Branson? I think I did, didn't I? It's not. Why would you have it hot? Hot. Oh, no. Branson Pickle. No, sorry.
Starting point is 00:55:56 I'm thinking the the whatever the the meat. Bovril. That's what I was thinking. When I had the Bovril popsicle, that's really like, that was such a bad experience that... Yeah, you salad cream the bovril. But I think I had bovril normally as well. But did you have branson pickle normally? I can't even remember. Yeah, I had it on toast. I had it the way that you suggested. I had it on like a... Toast?
Starting point is 00:56:20 I had it on bread with cheese or something. Oh yeah, cheese sandwich. Classic. I followed your instructions. I can't believe you had it on toast! There was cheese. Oh, yeah. Cheese sandwich. Classic. I followed your instructions. I can't believe you had it on toast. There was cheese. Oh, yeah. It wasn't toast. It should have just been bread. No, no, it wasn't toasted.
Starting point is 00:56:31 I just it was a long time ago. I remember, though, I specifically asked you, how do I eat this? As I wanted a fair testing was not a fan. I think salad cream I was OK with, but it's sort of just gross. Anyway, I need an aioli. I want a garlic aioli would be my preference. I understand. That's fine. I can.
Starting point is 00:56:51 I'm totally. I need that disguise on that. OK. But is that part of the regulation? But you think it's going to be aioli? Well, we get to set the regulation. That's why I'm trying to get it over to Thousand Island, a very acceptable thing. There's no thousand island I feel like is weirder than a garlic aioli. You're nuts.
Starting point is 00:57:08 I feel like Thousand Island is just very American. See, maybe that is, that could just be, yeah, for me, I've never experienced that outside of McDonald's. I'm right, it's okay, but we can go garlic aioli or whatever, that's fine. Is there anything else that we're missing? No pickle, are we all in agreement? No pickle.
Starting point is 00:57:24 I feel good about, I feel good about what we got. is there anything else that we're missing? We had no pickle. Are we all in agreement? No pickle. I feel good about the onion. I feel good about what we got. I'm honest. I'm looking at that first burger you posted and I'm imagining it being a little less thick, but like, fuck, that's a good looking burger. I mean, that's it to me.
Starting point is 00:57:35 It's that image of that burger. But two patties, two patties, a little less thick. I got a little wrinkle I'd like to throw in as a personal preference, looking at it. What if we swap the onion with onion ring? How do we feel about that? Uh, I like, I like the cold, crunchy onion. Me too.
Starting point is 00:57:51 I think it's too specialized. Fair enough. The fried part of the onion ring can often sit too long and absorb too much and become soggy itself. Are we getting any bacon in this thing? I don't think it's a part of the regulation. No. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:03 No, not, not as part of the regulation. Okay. I don't think it's a part of the regulation. No, okay. No, not not as part of the regulation Okay, so the regulation burger is just a standard sesame seed but oh that was burp a sesame seed Lettuce tomato onion cheese basic burger and a garlic aioli I Think that's it. Wow. I think that's a regulation burger. What an episode. We locked in some big food decks. This is great.
Starting point is 00:58:27 I think this is such a good idea and now we're never gonna hear the fucking end of it from Jack. We just went through a bunch of foods, made decisions without him and he's gonna have a lot to say. Well, we got a majority of the regulation company. We have a majority system for all of our decisions.
Starting point is 00:58:43 It's too bad he wasn't here. He was invited. But do you really think that people when they when they think of a regulation burger garlic aioli? Yeah. No, again, I think it's Thousand Island, but you guys won't listen. I think it's ketchup. It's not ketchup.
Starting point is 00:58:56 Eric hates ketchup. I think it's a compromise, Gavin. We're coming to a compromise here. I think this is a world in which we're all happy. Are you not happy with it? I mean, I would eat that, but I'm just saying a lot of people are just like, Oh, let's make burgers tonight. Yeah, I'll get the buns. I'll get the, you know, the meat.
Starting point is 00:59:12 And then it's just whatever you have in the fridge. And what you have in the fridge is probably going to be ketchup. It's probably not going to be Thousand Island or Garlic Aoli. Oh, I got Thousand Island in the fridge. I got Garlic Aoli in the fridge. Alright. Alright, I'm wrong. No, I don't think you're necessarily right. But if you feel strongly, I mean, we could hash it out more.
Starting point is 00:59:29 But I just I felt like we had a good compromise. No, I think I think we landed on it. I think we're OK. We landed on it. All right. Because I love ketchup. But like, listen, if you want to go ketchup, I would go. But I think garlic is the thing. All right. Sure. OK. Well, we got the burger locked in.
Starting point is 00:59:45 We got what do we got? Hot dog locked in. We got pie locked in French fry. It's crazy. The first. OK, so let's just go through it all. Hot dog. Bon plain bun. Normal dog ketchup and a mustard of your choice.
Starting point is 01:00:00 Any variety. French fry is like the standard cut fry with salt. Very basic. Like I think that's an easy, very accessible thing. Then we got pie, which is apple pie. Once again, I feel incredibly accessible. My personal favorite pie. Very excited about that.
Starting point is 01:00:15 And the burger is sesame seed, lettuce, tomato, onion, American cheese, garlic aioli. What a meal. What a cookout. Garlic, garlic aioli, Gavin, garlic aioli. What a meal. What a cookout. Garlic garlic aioli. Gavin garlic aioli. Listen, Eric, you wanted to be ketchup. I'll fight on the ketchup trail. No garlic aioli.
Starting point is 01:00:34 It is baby. Lock that in. Thank you. Is that sold? Is that like a Heinz garlic? Yeah, there is absolutely is. Show it to me. Okay, one sec.
Starting point is 01:00:43 Okay, find a photo of it. You see that Heinz just did the 15 dressings in one as like a promotion Oh, yeah, I heard about that everything dressing damn. I might buy this oh Wow, it's awesome. I might yeah, that's what I have I might it's great. Yeah, I might buy that It's the list that looks fucking that I that genuinely looks really good. I might. I think I should start keeping this on hand. You should. Yeah, me too.
Starting point is 01:01:08 I might, hey, our lives might be different from this point on. That's pretty interesting. See, that's like, I don't know what you're imagining, but that is what I have. It's just a squeeze bottle of Heinz Aeoli. Totally good. I think that's just really fancy.
Starting point is 01:01:21 I just didn't grow up in that kind of household. Oh, totally. No, me neither, I agree. Yeah, this is something I like have recently gotten into. I think it's a relatively new product for them as well, but it's delicious. And we applied. We set new regulations, new standards. We have we have a rule we have set up. I can't, as you said, Eric, can't wait to hear Jeff's reaction, especially
Starting point is 01:01:43 to learning that we have a regulation hot dog and burger and all that stuff. Yeah. Thank you so much for listening. If you have stuff that you would like us to set regulations on, feel free to list that in the comments of wherever you're absorbing this and check out our Patreon. And just to be clear with us regulating stuff and the regulation thing, what's the goal? Is it so that it's if we're setting regulations? Yeah. If they want to have a regulation burger.
Starting point is 01:02:09 Yeah. They now know what it is. Yeah. Yeah, they know what it is. It has garlic. A whole lot of kelly doesn't have a huge stage is what I believe. Absolutely insane. Everybody get Heinz. They only I'm not sponsored by Heinz. Maybe I'm sponsored by Heinz. Anyway, check out our Patreon, Regulatrion.com
Starting point is 01:02:27 or the Regulation Pod. Find it. We got YouTube channels. We'll find it all. Thank you so much for listening. Bye. Bye now. Bye.

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