F**kface - Time to Get in All the Lines // Anti Glass [96]

Episode Date: March 30, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about not doing the Jack's notes thing, resprained ankle, Geoff's fridge update, The Gurpler, two bad Lucases, and the most wrong Andrew has been. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by ShipStation (http://shipstation.com and use code FACE), BetterHelp (http://betterhelp.com/face), and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face16 + code face16) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face podcast. I believe this is number 95, is that correct? 96. Are you serious? Is it 96? correct? 96. Are you serious? Is it 96? It's 96. Do you not keep the chat up? Oh, I had it switched over when I hit record.

I see it now. Hello and welcome to the episode 96 of the F*** Face Podcast. Nick says, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. See, I'm looking at the chat now so I get all the important information. Season four, year two, episode 96. Andrew, Gavin, go ahead. Hello. I expected you to just open this by yelling, fuck glass, because you were very passionate about it in the last episode.

Man, yeah. I'm fucking, what do y'all want to talk about? What do you guys got going on? Andrew, what's been happening with you? Well, I mean, I want to know about fuck glass, is what I'd like to know, if you're open to talking about... I want to go deep on the glass talk.

Yeah, I'll go... We'll go into the glass talk if you want. I just realized, though, before you get onto glass, we didn't do the thing that we said we were going to do last time. God damn it! We didn't talk about ants in Jeff's bike.

God damn it! So let me... Okay. We're going to go behind the curtain? No, we're going gonna go behind the curtain on this so i listened to it and i took down all the notes i text so i had this idea is because jack always does the next time on and he bases it on our discord conversation and the photos that we exchange while we record but we hadn't had anything recorded so jack just made up a bunch of stuff. So I said, it would be funny if we use Jack's made up outline as sort of our show that we covered everything Jack talked about. So his outline would end up being correct. I then realized

I hadn't spoken to either of you guys in a month and I didn't want to do, I just wanted to talk to both. So I stepped away from it. Oh, it oh okay well you know what yeah we faced ourselves by not doing it because our friendship is more important and it isn't that the spirit of the show anyway and then i thought about bringing it back up again for like four episodes from now because that would also be very funny if we randomly covered all those things okay we've got to do that so i've got to try and smuggle something. Jeff needs to start an ant colony in a bike. Yeah. Based on the way you were talking before you left, I thought a butt plug may be smuggled

back in some way. You're asking about metals. It seemed like you had something planned. Gavin, do you own a butt plug? No. I've never owned a butt plug. What, instantly was too slow? No, it wasn't instant.

I think he's got butt plug plans is what he has i think he probably rents them so he doesn't have to say he owns them imagine a blockbuster for butt plugs yeah that's just what i was thinking that the late fees on a butt plug would be horrendous butt buster uh what would be like you have to clean be kind clean like what would be the be kind rewind of the butt plug be kind give it a wipe doesn't quite roll off the tongue but it's like that's there's something there we have something the slogan for plug rentals be kind to others behind well that's doesn't help the next renter does it be kind to others behind i mean i guess if you're cleaning the butt plug you are being kind of there behind because they're getting it you know give that one to nick gross fluids you know injected into you or vice versa i'm really i don't know maybe i have it built up in my head but the way you were talking before gavin it sounded like you

were going to be fucking tony stark in a cave building a butt plug is the the tone i got from you're asking about metals and yeah making the titanium butt plug yeah yeah i'm excited i'm anticipating that being a thing at some point i need to give your mom something for her birthday i don't like that you tying it to that at all it doesn't need to be a gift she likes the slightest high-end extravagant things. That is true. I can't argue that point. We've got to have a gift when we get there. I love where this is going.

Andrew is not into this. This is great. No, I'm not into this at all. It's okay. I'll back down from here. Don't back down. Double down. I can Don't back down. Double down. I can add to the list.

Jeff doesn't even know what I've planned for him. I'll add to the Gavin list. I can't wait to talk about it on the show. Jeff completely fucked me over and I can't talk about why yet.

But Jeff, without even knowing it, got me. Didn't he do that recently about why yet, but Jeff, without even knowing it, got me. Didn't he do that recently? Because I'm an idiot. He did do it recently. I think I mentioned it before. I can't talk about it yet

because I haven't, the whole plan hasn't come through, but at some point, I'll be able to talk about a story in which Jeff completely screwed me over without his knowledge, and it's very funny. But I got plans.

I'm retaliating. Not retaliating. Let me recorrect. Let me go back funny but i got plants i'm retaliating not retaliating let me recorrect let me let me go back i'm right i'm i'm gifting i'm re-gifting i'm gonna enjoy sending you a nice friendship gift to return the delightful favor of you mailing me the bubble wrap okay man i uh you know it was sent with love just try to remember that and hopefully so is mine hey let me ask you a question let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question. Yeah. Since we last spoke, have you sprained your ankle? Oh, I haven't been able to walk since.

Yes. No, I think I've had two days. I've kept spraining it and or dealing with issues. Did you lay the bubble wrap out everywhere like I instructed? I know. I did not. So fucking listen to me, dude. You'd be walking around like a pro right now. The haircut was a window of time in which I was able to walk like a pro right now the haircut was a window of time which

i was able to walk without issues so after the haircut you re-sprayed oh after the haircut i re-sprayed i was trying to get up and i got up at a bad angle and my foot i can't i can't handle this motherfucker absolutely ridiculous andrew this is not okay not a normal life that you've got no this is what i was turned i had my chair to my desk and my feet at the base of my bed and i decided to get up but my feet were in my box spring and so when i stood up it kind of popped a little bit because i came up at a little bit of a strange angle and it was uneven and so i've been dealing with that for the last two days. This motherfucker literally, you literally got the solution to all of your problems

gift-wrapped and mailed to you, and you won't use it. It's like he thinks it's a joke. Well, yeah. No, I think it's a very thoughtful gift that I cannot wait to return the favor with, with my own thing. I can't wait.

Well, if it's at all dependent on you walking there, I'm not I'm not. I'm going to be completely honest with you here. If you wouldn't have canceled MVP to you'd be getting it today. It would happen today. You've saved yourself once again accidentally. You don't even know what you did, but you once when you canceled it,

I was like, fuck. Okay, later. Do it later. do it later all right well that's good it's in the works good to know but let's talk about glass eric i think it might uh i think uh future schedulings of mvp2 might prove to be very difficult it's not tied to mvp2 you're an idiot it's not tied to that. We'll see. I'll talk about Glass, but first, I want to... Because last episode, we had a lot of callbacks, and I was enjoying it. We went all the way back to episode one with the hair. We went back a few times. Do you guys remember... I want to tell you a little story about one of my adventures, since we all last spoke,

was fridge-related. Do you guys remember about a year ago? I'm trying to figure out how I want to tell this. Do you guys remember about a year ago when I had some fridge problems and I decided to price out a new fridge, but the fridge was the price. Yeah, you had Applejack come over.

Yeah. Yeah, I remember a broom sort of went against the door at one point or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was able to kind of uh like uh mickey mouse it back together so that it worked but was like you know it's no good man it's not it's no good and i was like okay and uh and uh i went i got it priced out priced out a new one to fit the peculiar size of my recessed fridge and it was going to be the price of a jet ski a new jet ski

not a used jet ski and then we all laughed about it and then we decided um you know i'll put that off uh because it's the fridge is mostly working uh it's working it's doing like 70 percent of the things it should do so that's that's pretty good right it's better than half uh the monday of this week i uh i was looking at it and a piece of it broke off and i thought you know what fuck it i'm sick of like the shelves keep getting lower because they keep breaking and i have less and less so that i have like the top part of my fridge is just getting it's just a lot of open air now uh you can put really tooled things yeah i can put super super tall stuff in my fridge so i thought fuck it i'm gonna go to those people and i'm gonna say hey let me go ahead and get that fridge because i know uh the fridge is working but it's

you know it's it's on its last legs right so i go uh to the place and i say hey remember me and they're like absolutely not i have no memory of you whatsoever it's been a year and i talked to you for three minutes and i was like that's totally fair uh but they were able to find me in their system and uh i don't know if you remember but last time they told me it would be five to eight weeks to get my fridge and i thought well that's ridiculous well this time i came in and they said well there's gonna be a bit of a some things have changed since you were last here and i go okay she goes uh there's gonna be a bit of a wait and things have changed since you were last here. And I go, okay. She goes, there's going to be a bit of a wait.

And I go, oh yeah, she told me last time. It's going to be like two months. And she goes, well, it's running a little longer than two months. But that's not the biggest thing. The biggest thing is it's a little bit more expensive now. And I was like, oh, well, how much has it gone up in price? And she goes, well, it's about $2,000 more than it was. Okay. All right.

That's on me. That's like a fridge. That's on me. Get a time fridge for two grand. It's like an 88 Corolla. I go, okay, that's on me. But you know what? Better to get ahead of this now than have it to do it in

a year and have it be another thousand or two thousand dollars on top of that you know like i don't think things aren't trending in a good direction and considering like the global supply chain issues and world war three and everything i feel like shit's just gonna continue to get harder and harder to get and more expensive so i was like fuck it i'm getting this fridge i said you know what fine we. We'll do it. And I said, so what? It's like two months? And she goes, oh yeah, right. No, sorry. I didn't get to finish that. It's, let me see. Let me put it in.

It is, you know, essentially March, the first week of March or second week of March. You can have it next March. And I said, excuse me? And she goes, yeah, there's about a year. It's about a year now to get it in huh Jesus I'm not the only one now it's myself just in case just in case and I went are you

fucking serious and she was like oh yeah she was like nice about it but she was like I welcome you to go and try to find a fridge anywhere else on earth right now faster and I'm like yeah I get it uh you get your fridge and not that fits the size and uh and then i go she goes oh well also this is last year's fridge did you want to i mean you could do this year's fridge and i went oh well that's a good point if it's like you have a new model it what's the lead time on a new bottle and she goes let me check uh oh it's about a year and a half so if you want to and i was like no no no we're going last year's about a year and a half. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. We're going last year's fridge. Last year's fridge, please, please, please, please, please. So anyway, I f***ing faced myself hard to the tune of,

when it's all said and done, two years to get a fridge that I should have bought and $2,000 more. So my stupidity cost me a grand a year for two years. So does that mean there won't, are they still going to have like a next year's fridge? If the lead time is over a year on a fridge. I don't f***ing know, are they still going to have like a next year's fridge? If the lead time is over a year on a fridge,

I don't fucking know. They might as well just skip a year. They might as well just stop making fridges. Yeah, that'll fix the problem. Less fridges.

When you order, when you order the fridge, are you fully paid for at this point? Are you locked in? Oh, I fully paid for it. I have,

I have, I sent off the money and in one year it's going to fly back to me as a refrigerator? Are you locked in? Oh, I fully paid for it. I have, I have, I sent off the money and in one year it's going to fly back to me as a refrigerator. Are you, but are you like, you cannot get out of this fridge now. You are now stuck with this fridge.

You cannot get a refund for the money you put in. There's no point. I mean, I don't know. I don't intend on putting myself to the back of the line again. So I'll take this fridge with me wherever I go.

Like this fridge and I are bonded for life. I like the idea of just constantly making sure you're always in the queue, but not necessarily needing. Like being in, yeah, I'm four months into my fridge. I got a dryer in six months. I don't need it right now, but I can pull out whenever I need to. I'm just constantly

in the queue. I don't want to be stuck in the back of the line. I think now's the time just to get in all the lines. Like, yeah, no matter what you do, I'm going to stop by a shower. You know, all this crap. If everybody was smart, they would liquidate

their savings account and they would go in and they would put orders on commercial fridges. And then in a year when they get that fridge in, put it up on eBay like a Tickle Me Elmo

and sell it for $10,000 more than you paid for it. Imagining like Wolf of Wall Street, sell me this pen, but it's like, sell me this fridge. Sell me this 10,000, this massive fridge. What's the word for when you buy a bunch of shit and sell it way more expensive in times of peril? What did you say?

It's like when people buy all the bog roll and then they start flogging it for like four times the price to people. Oh, price gouging? Profiteering, that was it. Profiteering. Yeah. You're gonna be fridge profiteering. So do you have a fridge that works currently? I mean, I have the fridge that

most of it works, yeah. I mean, it still doesn't do the things that it didn't used to do. Like one of the shelves on the side broke off so i just have a one less row again i'm i'm down to about 70 of my rows and then of course the lights and then of course the the rusty ice and the water not working so if the next time i was at your house i just broke your fridge as a joke that'd be you would be absolutely screwed that'd be quite a joke quite a joke you know lucky for jeff he's friends with somebody who fills the need whenever this has happened there is a plumbing issue in the past and uh i came in and i saved the day and

it sounds to me this is another scenario where you might need a fridge. You need a fridge of some kind, a thing that cools items, I guess is what we could say. I think I could do this. I think I could get a fridge for you. I'm just saying, I think my fridge laundromat idea is making more sense than ever. I think people are really going to start to do that business. Dude, if William Perry shows up at my house,

knocks on my front door and says, I'm here to keep your shit cool, bro. I'll fucking, I'll be indebted to you for life. That would be awesome. William Perry with like a cooler over himself. It's like suspenders, but it's a cooler. Gavin, you don't know who William Perry is because you're British,

but he was a Chicago Bear football player who his nickname was William the Refrigerator Perry because he was as big and kind of shaped like a fridge. And he famously scored a touchdown in the Super Bowl and then became an amateur boxer for a while. That's a great nickname for a boxer. Was he still the refrigerator as a boxer? Once you're the refrigerator, you are always the refrigerator.

Nothing. I think the best sports nickname i ever heard and i want to say he was the last person he was either the first he's in one of the first nfl drafts his name was bob train and his nickname was choo-choo so he's listed as bob choo-choo train that's a lot cooler than a fridge-related nickname. Dude, I heard a fucking nickname the other day. It was so fucking funny. Who was it? I'd be Gavin Freon, by the way, if I was going fridge-themed.

Oh, we were in the pleasantries. We were talking about the Clippers and the Lakers, the different trajectories of their seasons. Eric was. There's a player on the Los Angeles Clippers. His name is Reggie Jackson. And his new nickname that everybody's calling him is Stimulus Check because he keeps bailing the team out.

I was watching a game the other day and they kept calling him Stimulus Check. And I thought that was the funniest fucking thing you gotta love a current nickname yeah oh and they call him big government right big government's good I think my favorite like nickname for any athlete is

somebody called himself the Cuban Missile Crisis Julian the Cuban Missile Crisis Marquez it's just so long. It's pretty long. But glass. I still don't know about glass.

We're talking about your fridge. How does this tie into your hatred of glass? Oh, man. Glass. No, I just like... Y'all know... I'm never gonna hit the store. Y'all know...

Y'all have glass,'re never gonna hit the store. Y'all know... Y'all know... Y'all have glass, right? Yes. Yeah. I have it in my windows. I have it on some doors. Yeah, that's fine. I don't give a shit about that. You know, like glass that you drink out of.

Like glass eggs. Yeah. They fucking suck, am I right? Like... Am I the only person that every other time I open up my dishwasher, there's a fucking... And I pull out one of my glasses, it's broken and it cuts my fucking hand and slices it. I'm so fucking sick of it. I'm so

sick of glass. It's so fucking, it's such a fallible material to put near your mouth. And I'm so, I bought like, when I moved into this house, I bought like 12 cups like glass, I'm sorry, I shouldn't say cups, I bought 12 glasses, right? I'm down to like three of them because they just say shatter.

You put them down wrong and they just fucking fall apart. And it's not just this brand. I've had other glasses. I've had pint glasses that I get free from shit. Glass sucks. It just fucking sucks. And if glass goes wrong, it only hurts you.

It's only job is to hurt you. Does your dishwasher say rock tumbler on the front like what's going on with it it's not just dishwashers dude glasses break everywhere dog walks by and hits a fucking coffee table glass falls off and shatters the next thing you know you got glass in your feet for the next month while you're trying to fucking find it all it's it's stupid it's fucking stupid and got to thinking, why don't we, I need to replace every glass in my house with solid cups. Just like fucking hard, like sturdy,

not going to shatter, badass cups. So that got me thinking, what's the best cup? Like there's a lot of different, and I was talking to Eric about it a little bit and then I got to talking to Andrew about it. And like, I'm on the search for the perfect cup, right? Like there's a lot of different, and I was talking to Eric about it a little bit, and then I got to talking to Andrew about it. Ice cup. I'm on the search for the perfect cup, right? That's so stupid.

Nobody will know you drank. It's genius. I love it. It's the perfect drink. Except your first fucking drink, you're going to put it to your lips, and you're going to be like Ralphie in a Christmas story. Your mouth's going to be frozen to your fucking... So I started doing research.

Is this a Unifam thing? I think it could be. So I started polling people and asking what people's favorite cup is. And my girlfriend actually, I think, landed on the perfect cup, which I totally agree with. But I asked everybody ahead of time, you know, be thinking about it and let me know. So if everybody could just post

what their favorite cup is, well, I think we can get somewhere. My favorite cup. Like the best cup. I need to do a blueprint of my favorite cup. I don't think the best cup exists yet. Yeah, when I mentioned it to you, you told me you were going to design a cup

like Homer Simpson designed a car, which scares me. Well, it's because it's like if we're perfecting cup technology, we need to go some places with it. I will say I was very adamant about the fact that it needs to hold a liter of water. Yeah, like your one prerequisite, it must hold a liter of water needs to hold a liter of water. Yeah. Like your one rec was a prerequisite.

It must hold a liter of water. Needs a liter of water. Cause they always say like drink eight cups of water a day. If you have a liter cup, that's four. You just need four cups of water. We're reducing the amount of refills you need. It's just a superior product.

Like just the math on it. It's better. Can't argue. It's not more efficient. It's a great cup. Eric, you said a Rudy's cup, which I agree. I got one from this Mexican restaurant by my house. I think I sent you a photo.

I'll see if I can put that up. It's a pretty good fucking cup. It's not perfect, but it's good. I think Rudy's does a classic cup. This is the cup that you have a million of all through college or whatever they they last forever and then your wife says we don't need these cups anymore and you go you're right we don't need these cups anymore this is the one i got that kind of set the thinking off uh so it's like it's like the rudy's cup maybe a little bigger

just based on my thumb compared to your thumb against the cup uh and i like this cup because it's huge it's big uh but it's still uh and it's it's a little flexible but i don't know that i want flexible in my cup because it because what if you grab it emphatically you're gonna you're gonna spill right and i'm an emphatic person i like to grab things emphatically from time to time so, a lot of people were recommending like metal cups, which I think is just ludicrous. I think it's a horrible idea. What don't you like about that? Well, I'll tell you

what I don't like about it. What about a titanium cup? Crack a tooth on that plastic cup. You can't do it. Emphatically put a metal cup up to your mouth not paying attention

or you move a fraction of an inch the wrong way. You're going to bash your own goddamn teeth in. It's stupid. I'd rather hit my teeth on metal than glass. Why not plastic? I'm recommending plastic.

I agree. That's another reason glass sucks. What if you bash your tooth with the edge of a glass and then it shatters the glass and your tooth and then you end up eating a bunch of glass? Glass fucking sucks. Why are we putting it near our mouths? know i think historically there has been never been a better time to embrace and make more things out of plastic that's the exact direction that everyone is going in

plastic it makes it taste like plastic no way what's the uh thing that you you're gonna eat caviar with because the metal spoon like taints the taste they use like uh what's that shit like mother of pearl or something maybe that's the the material for a cup here's what i think the perfect cup is boom that looks like a the pizza cup have you ever had a soda a diet coke or, or a regular Coke, or a Dr. Pepper with ice in that thing and not loved every second of it? Those cups, we perfected cups in the 1970s, and I don't know when we got away from them. I'm going to replace every... It's because the places you're going are still using the ones from the 70s because they're still around because they last forever. And that's getting used

by hundreds of people a day. You put those puppies in your house, Gavin, you would never even come close to seeing the half-life of that cup. It'll look, you'll be buried with it someday looking brand new. Nick agrees, it rules.

That cup full of ice is awesome. So I was talking to Andrew about it and I was telling him we need to invent the perfect cup. And that's my starting point. That material, that density, that weight, it's got a heft to it at the bottom. It's solid.

It's not malleable. It's not going to bash anybody's teeth in. It keeps stuff incredibly cool. It doesn't taste like plastic at all. It tastes like a Pizza Hut in 1975, which is where everybody wants to be and if you don't there's something fucking wrong with you and it's fun so we start there i ran out of shit when jeff first brought this up to me i've no i felt like i was being fucked with the entire time

it's one of the weirdest text chains i think i've ever had with you. And I don't know if it was by design or if you're just living your life. Jeff texted me at 1021 AM on Sunday. What's the perfect cup? And then I replied with this. I think this is the perfect cup. Technically a mug, but I think it's

the perfect cup. That's immediately what I thought of. What I thought of. Oh, the inverse handle. It's the inverse ubisoft handle misprint i don't hear from jeff until 7 45 p.m and he replies huh i'd have to disagree and then he said i got a really good cup today and he sent me a photo of the zuzu cup and i replied what's so good about that cup he He said, lots. I asked, such as? Jeff replies by sending me a 30-second video of him watching a Real Housewives reunion show, explaining why I should be watching it.

Oh, that had nothing to do with the cup. That was an aside, a total aside. Yeah, but it's in the middle. I asked, such as? And then you replied with a 30-second video. Oh, yeah. I can see how that would be confusing for you. Yeah, no, disregard that. I do think you should be a 30 second video. I can see how that would be confusing for you. Yeah, no, disregard that.

I do think you should be watching the Housewives. Yeah, I'm not opposed. But then he replied, the outfits alone. It's a reunion show, so the outfits are insane. So then I asked, what happened to the cup? And Jeff said, huh? Oh, just thinking about your favorite cup, I guess. I'm thinking we could get into the cup business.

It's like, what are you talking about? We're're talking you just sent me a cup you asked me what my perfect cup is you sent me what feels just like a standard cup and then you're pivoting and that's ridiculous it's insane well i got a lot going on in my head man i'm you did i'm multi-threaded uh the whole story about hating glass was that you just don't like drinking out like nothing happened you just don't like drinking out of a glass well the cup no i guess i had a yeah i had like one of my glasses broke when i was pulling out the dishwasher and it sliced my finger open and then later that day that was like on saturday or sunday morning because i had i got that cup sunday morning uh it was like that morning i was at the store or the Zuzu place,

and I thought, this is a pretty good cup. And then I thought, why the fuck am I cutting my fingers on glass like an asshole every day? I'm going to take this cup home with me. It was like 99 cents extra. And it's like, fuck, this is so much cheaper and better and safer than a glass. Why am I wasting time with glass? And then it set me on this whole path, and Andrew

and I got to thinking about it. I don't know what the perfect, because we're going to invent the perfect cup, right? Yeah. I think that my idea is that the Pizza Hut cup is a starting point for it, because there's a lot going on that's right with it. And then, want to talk about throwbacks. Dude, that

burp tasted so bad. i just grossed myself out uh yeah i agree it was disgusting nick you should have been in my mouth it's way worse here uh i was we were talking about it should be we can't do it red because that's iconic that we should make it gerbil because we already invented our own color. Why not put stuff in gerple? And then I had the idea we could call it because Andrew wants it to be big. We could call it the big gerp instead of the big gulp. And then Andrew, I think, improved upon that.

And he said we should call it, Andrew? The gerpler. The gerpler. I don't think there's anything better on Earth than the Gerbler. So we're going to make and sell a Gerbler? I think we should make and sell a Gerbler. But I think we're still in the, like, we have the name down. We have the color figured out.

I think sort of like when we did the wrist pockets, we should all come up with our own, like, sketch of what would be the perfect cup and the next episode we could share this I think that's a great idea because I have some ideas in my head I think there's some some innovation that the cup game has been lacking

I don't think there's been really any innovation that I can think of in a long time I would agree anything's been downhill the most recent innovation I've seen is putting the handle inside the coffee cup and I don't think

that that's working out. That's just great is what it is. It's no way effective. I'm into this idea. Yeah. So everybody, we've got most of it

figured out. We've got that it's a cup. We know that. We know that it's a it's Gerple. We know that it's called the Gerpler and it has to hold at least how much water, Andrew?

I think a liter. I think it needs to hold a liter of water. I think we have more figured out than most Kickstarters do when they start. And we just have a name and a color. Totally agree. We're on the right path. So, uh,

anyway, that's why I say fuck glass. I'm going to, I'm going to eliminate. My goal is to eliminate glass from houses all across the world and to save people the annoying little bits of glass that end up getting stuck in the bottom of their foot when they go to the fridge at midnight

and they realize they didn't clean up that spot. Or when you go in and then you slice the inside of your fucking hand open trying to pull out a tumbler or a glass out of your out of your dishwasher because it's shattered because it's stupid or when your dog walks by and hits a the end of a table and it knocks a glass over and then it shatters because it's stupid i'm trying to fix the world with the Gerbler. Well, it seems like online shopping isn't going to slow down anytime soon. So let me ask you a question. All you baseball card collectors, all you spoon resellers, all you thimble enthusiasts, is your business ready to keep up the pace?

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We'll go out of our way to treat the other people in our lives well, but how often do we give ourselves the same treatment? Don't forget, we also have relationships with ourselves. I have been in therapy for more than a decade myself, and I cannot overstate its importance in my life. It has been a literal sanity saver for me. It's helped me work out problems in my personal life, in my work life. It's helped me deal with some stuff from my past, even childhood stuff. And honestly, it's kind of helped me focus and stay positive. And this month, BetterHelp Online Therapy wants to remind you to take care of your most important relationship. You. Whether it's

hitting the gym, making time for your haircut, or even trying therapy, you are your greatest asset. So invest the time and effort into yourself like you do for other people. BetterHelp is online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy, and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. So give it a try and see why more than 2 million people have used BetterHelp Online Therapy. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and F*** Face listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash face. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash face. Go ahead and rewind and listen to that again if you want to. I spelled it right. Did I show you my issue with the issue I had

with glass a few months ago? i don't think so no i might have sent this to you like privately maybe it was when my cat was oh yes back and we were looking out the window and then my cat decided to jump to its little cat tree and it kicked my freaking forehead into the window the footage is great because you just hear like a oh my god oh and that was the last time my cat sat on my shoulders as we both looked out the window And that was the last time my cat sat on my shoulders as we both looked out the window. It's such a majestic pose by your cat, too. Like, it just really, you can tell there's some force in that jump.

It's like a 14-pound cat, too. He's got some heft behind it. Do you have any idea what it was jumping to? Like, that seems like... Yeah, it was like a little cat tree behind me where he sits. He was just done being up there. It looks like the type of dive. It looks like an action movie, like going for the gun or whatever, the final fight or whatever, like needing to get there first.

There's determination in that leap. Have you met someone? You know, you meet different people throughout life. People have different names. You meet some people who have the same name. Have you met anyone who you didn't like and then met someone with the same name that you didn't like either?

Like, to the point where it's like you're predisposed to sort of be on guard against people who have that name whenever you meet them? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. There's...

Yeah. I got one. Throw out a name hayden hayden i met one shitty hayden when i was in fifth grade and i've got a reluctance towards hayden's but just the one you're basing it off one bad hayden i'm basing it off of one bad hayden i've never encountered another one but that initial meeting that person would have to overcome the baggage of the last aiden without a doubt i'm working against two bad lucases does it spell the name or is it a k like a lucas with a k like lucas with a c every time so if you're a regulation listener who's called lucas um uh you know nothing personal i'm sure you're a regulation listener who's called Lucas, you know, nothing personal. I'm sure you're great.

But just I've had a couple of bad Lucas experiences. Now, can it be first and or last name? Any Lucas involved at all? That's a warning sign for you at this point? Or is it only if their first name is Lucas spelt with a C? Say that again? Like, let's say George Lucas. Oh. Is that a barrier for you?

Does it have to be a first name? Yeah I think it has to be a first name Okay and it has to be Lucas spelt specifically L-U-C-A-S I'm not sure the spelling is as important Okay it's the same Coincidentally they were both with a C Oh Nick says

Nick says now you mention it Every Lucas I've met was kind of a turd. It can't actually be a Lucas thing. There's no way. I'm determined to meet a nice Lucas. I don't know that I've ever liked an Edward that I've met. Really? That's quite a common name.

Yeah. Edward. Huh. I've met some good Eds. Oh, yeah. I'm thinking of people that describe themselves as Edward and want to be referred to as Edward. Because obviously we have a friend named Ed who's quite lovely. Yeah.

Huh. So Hayden, Lucas, and Edward. What a trio. Those are the three people we do not like here I can actually see those three hanging out by name alone like if you told me there was a group with Lucas Hayden and Edward that checks out

I hope to god if it doesn't already exist a Lucas Hayden and Edward startup podcast if you're a regulation face listener or a comment lever or a regulation listener, who's looking to promote yourself to a comment lever, although I would argue it's not a promotion lateral at best.

Uh, and you're looking to start a podcast and you have one of those names, put yourself out there. Maybe you'll, maybe you guys can all hook up and create the anti face podcast. I bet you could get the guy who directed the tuxedo to come on your show. Did I ever tell you about the time where I was on a film set and me and another guy both thought we had the same name, but it was neither of our names?

What? What do you mean? Well, I was like unpacking Phantom stuff. Like I kind of wasn't paying attention. I assume it was like The first AD so he's like the guy Just telling everyone what to do basically And he must have been going Down the line and

Meeting people and I guess I didn't know He was doing that so he must have said something Like oh hey I'm Jim You are and someone would be like Steve and he'd be like Steve Roger okay Roger nice to meet you So he was repeating back Everyone's name back to them

But I wasn't paying attention to that bit I was just like rummaging around with stuff So he got to me and I went Gavin and he goes Darren So I thought his name was Darren And he thought my name was Darren but neither of us were called Darren he was Jim or something and I was Kevin so all day he kept being like Darren and no one would answer and if I needed him I'd be like oh sorry Darren and we're just talking to this person

in the middle who didn't exist just because of one tiny moment of confusion in the morning it led to so it was about 4 p.m. by the time where I was like I'm Gavin by the way he's like oh it was like eight hours of confusion and as soon as Darren vanished everything became clear

again typical Darren behavior. That's impressive. I remember I had, it was a family, it was like an extended family dinner and there were people there that I didn't know,

part of the same family. And one of them, their name was Bryce, but I heard it as Rice. I called it Rice the entire evening. Wasn't until... That's not a name. It's not a rice. I called it rice the entire evening. Wasn't until... That's not a name. It's not a name.

I'm not going to question it. I heard rice. I just called him rice the entire time. That's probably like, I don't know, 12, 13. Did he call you out on calling him rice? No, it never came up once. It's like, oh my God, I've called him rice all day. His name's Bryce.

I don't think I ever saw him again. I think that was the only time i ever encountered price now we know why yeah so your issues with lucas are these like serious issues or just like annoyances like i just don't i don't like this guy um no i was like sort of bullied by a bloke called lucas as a kid and then i just met another bad lucas and i was like i'm just i'm bloke called Lucas as a kid and then I just met another bad Lucas and I was like man I'm just having bad Lucas luck bad Lucas luck yeah like nothing serious just like my conflict with Bryce

was I bought into the Peter Molyneux hype train it was my Bryce conflict where it was grade 5? grade 5 or grade 4 I think it was grade 5 and I'd been playing Fable and i was like oh i'm loving fable this game is so great and i was talking about things that peter molyneux said were in the game but weren't actually in the game and he bought fable based off of my

recommendation based off of what peter molyneux said and they weren't the things i said were not in the game and he was not happy about that. He never let it go. No, he was pissed at me. And he never let it go the entire year. We only had one year together in the same class. And he was mad at me for the whole year because Fable didn't feature the thing that I was talking about. But I thought it did.

I didn't know Peter Molyneux was inaccurate about the mechanic in the game. And of all people, too. Peter Molyneux is so famous for over-hyping. And of all people too, Peter Molyneux is so famous for over-hyping. I wonder how you could have made up to him. You could have given him the money back for the game. I could have, but it's grade five. I don't have any money. And the fact to hold on to it, it's wild.

I was going to make a joke about like, hey, Lucas Haas, if you're listening, go fuck yourself kind of thing. And then I thought I should look up somebody more famous than Lucas Haas. Like with a little bit more name recognition. So I looked up most famous Lucas's. Guess what?

There aren't any. Oh, so if your name's Lucas, you've got some you can take the stage pretty much. Yeah, it's wide open. I mean, like there was Lucas Hartong, the 1963 Dutch politician. The Canadian-American actor Lucas Bryant, who I'm not familiar. Oh, there you go. Lucas Cronach, the elder. He was a German painter in the 1400s.

That's about it. Only actor I can think of is Josh Lucas, but that doesn't even fit the criteria. Yeah. Yeah. Even in sports, I don't know any of these Lucases. A lot of Brazilian football players in the 50s. What about a Luca?

Would you be hesitant about a Luca? Gavin, if you encountered Luca Doncic, would you be like, oh, it's close to Lucas. We're getting there.

We're halfway there. I'd be fine with Luca. Okay. Luca Modric, big fan. I don't know who that is. Footballer. Who's Luca Modric?

Okay. Huh. I don't, do you have any name beefs outside edward you have edward who me yeah you have edward is that and i have one i'm trying i have one more but i don't want to say it because it that's fair that might be uh might be on this call really anyway let's move on there's somebody on this call what else you guys know i think that's like we don't need to get into it but whoever that person is i think they deserve credit because

they overcame the barrier they are the success story hey i didn't say anybody overcame any barrier no i think don't don't look for success where it doesn't exist, buddy. Okay, well, let me ask you this. What if it happened to be me, would a new fridge get me over that barrier? Only if it's delivered by 59-year-old William Perry. Eric and Nick, do you have any name beef? I was going to let Nick go first. I don't think I do.

But similar to how you had a guy thought your name was darren i had a boss who thought my name was merrick for like three months so that was merrick yeah he called me merrick and then i don't know like wrote emails to Merrick. And it was a whole thing. That doesn't make any sense. No. I think when I introduced myself, I said, I'm Eric. But I think I probably just said, I'm Eric. And then he just went, oh, hi, Merrick.

Yeah. He thought you were just, I'm Merrick. And then I didn't correct him because I didn't understand. Like, I didn't hear him say it wrong yeah then it was like three months of him saying it and it got to a point where like i couldn't correct it but and then he found out and he just went why didn't you tell me i've been calling you merrick and i went i don't know i'm sorry so uh so i don't really have named it i was just merrick for a while we should make a poster someday with Lucas and Merrick and whatever

or not Lucas Dylan or something what was your fake name Darren I don't know how he got Darren out of Gavin I don't think I can't have I don't know how I mumbled Gavin into Darren was he also British yeah

I wonder if you have a shitty voice how I mumbled Gavin into Darren. Was he also British? Yeah. Oh, that's even weirder. I wonder if you have a shitty voice. Like, you always will have, you're just a British accent to me, right? Yeah. That's all I, like, all I hear when I talk to you is British accent.

I have no way to judge the quality of your accent, but I wonder if I was English if I'd be like, I hate that guy's fucking voice. He sounds, he's like such a nonce or whatever. I don't know.

Compared to other British people, I don't know. All British people sound the same to me. I feel like unless it's atrocious, I have a very hard time in determining if an actor is bad if they're speaking in a different language. Same. If they're a mid-tier actor, they seem great to me. If I can't understand if it's a language barrier.

It's like a shield. Like Dick Van Dy in uh mary poppins sounded fine sounds just like gavin is that the most famous bad british accent of all time yeah but it's like beyond it's beyond that what about legendary it's yeah it's like an accent that you want to try and do because it's so bad what was brad pitt trying to do in snatch because his accent was so bad they just changed the character uh i think i think they wanted him to do irish at first was it irish was that like that was the thing where like he was just trying to do a normal impression and it was so horrendous that they had to like implement his shitty accent into the character that he played. Trying to think of other.

You know, it was a bad one. This is, I think, the most wrong I've ever been about any any piece of content ever. I watched Squid Game maybe like one or two days after it came on the Netflix, probably like five days before squid game was a big thing. And I hated it. I just didn't think it was good. And I thought the acting was so bad. I talked to like four or five different people. I was like,

Hey, you hear about this thing? I watched it. I, yeah, I would not recommend it. Didn't enjoy it. And then it became the biggest show like ever.

Everybody loves it. I was such an outlier on that. That is the one where even through the accent, I thought the acting was not great, but I'm, I'm apparently in a huge minority on that opinion. Are you talking about the main characters or are you talking about the Americans at the end?

The main, all of it, all the Americans are atrocious too, but even the main character, the main guys, like I just, it's like, I feel like he's super overacting.

I just didn't buy his performance. And it was very funny for me to tell like multiple people like, I just, it's like, I feel like he's super overacting. I just didn't buy his performance. And it was very funny for me to tell like multiple people, like, yeah, not great. I wouldn't recommend watching it and then seeing it become like the most universally loved phrased show. I was just so off. Is that your worst content opinion? I think it's the most wrong I think I've ever been about anything in my life is recommending people do not watch Squid Game

because they just didn't think it was great. You like The Matrix. I did. You know what else is great is The Batman. That's a great movie too. It's a fun one. I watched that last night. Yeah, what do you think of it? Well, yeah. Close your ears, Jeff, but I liked it.

I think it's great everybody loves batman he's a great character great movie everyone loves that i've been reading batman comics since i was about five years old batman's super cool love batman love bruce wayne got a lot got hundreds of the comics uh a big fan a big fan of the franchise fantastic movie it's it's maybe the best batman i mean there's a lot of a lot of great batmans out there a lot a lot there's a lot of great batmans there's very few bad even you know what even the bad batmans there's a lot of great Batmans out there. There's a lot of great Batmans. There's very few bad. Even, you know what? Even the bad Batmans,

there's something good to say about the Batmans. Sure. Like, I feel like Batman and Robin, famously bad Batman movie. George Clooney, pretty good Bruce Wayne. There's some positives you can take from that. Great Bruce Wayne. Great Bruce Wayne. Yeah, absolutely.

Fantastic Bruce Wayne. Yeah, a lot of good things to be said about Batman as a character, the franchise, the comics, the games. Some great Batman games. Maybe we should get out of the requirement that Batman has to be the same actor as Bruce Wayne. That's what I was thinking. I had that thought the other day. What if Robert Pattinson took off the mask and it was just George Clooney underneath?

Would that be jarring? You know who I feel like would be really good Bruce Wayne? What if Robert Pattinson took off the mask and it was just George Clooney underneath? I could do that. Would that be jarring? You know who I feel like would be really good Bruce Wayne? Maybe even a Batman. Jon Hamm. You can see Jon Hamm is like a good Bruce Wayne. Oh. He's got that jawline.

He's got a good Batman jawline. Looks good in a castle. He's got castle vibes for sure. There are some people who just have like the face for a mansion like if i stand in the middle of a mansion i'm clearly like visiting a rich friend i'm clearly not supposed to be there yeah just because of my face but john ham i'd buy that oh man um he is the celebrity spokesperson for a Canadian food delivery service called Skip the Dishes.

So I see Jon Hamm quite a bit on TV. It's always funny when celebrities have like local or like country specific advertising deals. I noticed that. Do you know who you see a lot of in England? Kevin Bacon. Really? What's he doing? He's all over TV. Just doing ads or is he like the spokesperson

for like a specific company? It might be a specific thing. I just kept walking past my mum's living room and just seeing him on TV. I don't think I saw what he was advertising. Anyone who's in the UK could let us know in the comments though. From a listener to a comment leaver then. Feel free.

It's like that trip we took to England. I mean we we took to England. I mean, we've been to England together a few times, but the big one where we went on the two-week vacation and we drove up to Scotland and all. Yeah. That was, I don't know, around 2010 maybe. I felt like the entire country of England was only Iggy Pop and Run DMC.

And I was like, what fucking year is it? Like, it's like 2010. What the hell is going on? Is Iggy Pop run DMC? Iggy Pop run DMC everywhere you look. I'm assuming it's not the case anymore, but that was a weird, weird point in time. Do you think the reverse of that is somebody being like,

all they fucking do is have Shaq on TV. He's selling me everything. He's selling me cars, lotion. Like he is, Shaq I feel like is the American equivalent. Sell me insurance. Yeah, he's in every ad.mmy lee jones is that for japan tommy lee jones has so many great japanese commercials oh really you haven't seen a tommy lee jones japanese commercial they're fucking wild they're coffee commercials i think if if somebody maybe i'll try to pull it up i'll post in the chat There is like compilations online.

It's like Tommy Lee Jones drinking a coffee and then turning into an eagle. It's just like what he's been doing. Oh man. They're insane. That's a, you know what? That reminds me. I read an article yesterday that,

or it was a little while ago. I mean, this happened a little while ago, but I read it yesterday. That apparently a bunch of American actors host shows in Russia because they, on Russian TV because they couldn't get they can't get like people in Russia who want to host them. So I guess William Shatner for a while hosted a show like a talk show in Russia on like Russian state run TV. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know if he still does or not uh but i guess they had like import hosting because they were having i don't know why i don't want to get in politics but uh isn't that bizarre that yeah william shatner hosts a tv show in russia of all places it's the hope that just people don't ever find that stuff i mean i i i just looked it up and it's the article was from summer of 2021 so i guess people don't find it. I just watched Tommy Lee Jones laser something. What is happening? I'll post another.

This is compilation. I'd love to know how much you got paid for this. Oh, he makes so many. It's not just that. There are countless Tommy Lee Jones coffee commercials that are fucking crazy. Isn't this the pretty much the point of Lost in Translation, right? Is it?

I've never seen it. It's not like Bill Murray went over and did some... You guys never seen it? Like he was an American actor who went over and did commercials and weird shit? Oh. Is that a good movie? Yeah, I remember liking it a lot.

I probably am fucking up the plot terribly, but I remember really enjoying it. It's early 2000s. Early, yeah. That's a good way to describe it. I was trying to think of an actor more so than this. Tommy Lee Jones, very recognizable. He's in some big movies.

I am completely indifferent to him, and I've never heard anybody say they love Tommy Lee Jones. I love Tommy Lee Jones. Really? You're the guy? You they love Tommy Lee Jones. I love Tommy Lee Jones. Really? You're a big Tom. You're the guy. You're a Tommy Lee Jones fan. I just,

I feel like good and everything is in. Yeah. He's solid, but I've, I've never heard anyone be like, I'm excited or I'm going to see this based on the fact that he is in this. And he's got like a crusty old wisdom face. He does.

Dude. Tommy Lee Jones in no country for old men is one of the best performances i've ever seen in my life i'm apparently just way off people like tommy lee jones way more than i realized i was going through his imdb because he's great fugitive i feel like he's in movies that you just haven't heard of i've been playing black i mean this is a classic captain america you're right yeah these are some these are some real duds that's some obscure shit no i'm saying i listen i'm not saying everything he's done is obscure but i feel like he's somebody that you have a catalog of where you look at he's made like 200 or whatever movies and it's like what the fuck is is this

i wonder what percentage of his films he remembers like if you sat him down and said name every movie you were in do you think he'd get 50 or more i bet not i mean think of it this way and i know this is a totally different but how many like old achievement hunter videos do you see popping up on social media or reddit that have you in them that you click on that you feel like you're watching for the first time? Oh yeah, it happens quite a lot. Same with like stuff I've worked on too. Like if like, I always used to wonder why people couldn't remember the stuff they've been in. Like an actor on a film, it's like, how do you remember that? It must've taken up like a

big chunk of your life. But I couldn't, i couldn't name probably more than 20 of the commercials that i worked on because it's just because it was probably like 200 or something and i just i all of this gone straight out of my head and those were like long days on set you know meeting people calling people darren it's it's like a big part of my life um i was i was looking through tommy lee jones's imdb and just seeing like things that like i feel like actors of that era especially are in just insane like kind of 70s 80s ridiculous plots i was like could i find something weird there's a movie where tommy lee jones just plays a character named tom lee i was like that's odd and so I looked into it and every actor is just playing a character with the same name essentially.

But there's an exception to that. I thought this was very funny. I was looking through the list. Elizabeth Mormon as Eliza. It's like I can see the extension there. Tommy Lee Jones playing Tommy Lee as Tom Lee Jones. Rose Kwong is Rose Kwong Chinese astrologer. Then Marcel Saburin pervert

doctor what movie is that i don't remember what it was called it was very early it is in his career i think do you think on the cool sheet his character's name was like dr steve and then he saw the the credits and was like oh dr dr marcel well what makes it even funnier to me is the guy below him is richard manuel richard bearded composer so like they gave him a name and a profession they just he just gets pervert doctor wow i learned a lot i learned about kevin bacon i'm excited to do a cup i have ideas of my mind already so we might have come are we collaborating on the same cup or we're doing individual cup design i think we should all do our own designs and then maybe like there's something in your cup that i didn't even consider i think if we're gonna really flesh out this cup concept,

we should get a bunch of cups on the table and see what we like and dislike from the various designs. Alright. Now I got something like a hard one. You think it's hard? Really? Just, I'd go with this. Just remember, simpler is better. Typically.

We're not trying to reinvent the wheel. We're trying to reinvent the cup well okay is there anything simple about the wrist pocket oh i mean what's complicated or complex about that it's it couldn't be also or on the topic of wrist pocket are we selling more wrist pockets are we going to do more of that uh we don't have any plans currently why do you ask well it's just it's we made a thousand tiki mugs and we did 50 wrist pockets I don't understand the ratios there were only 50?

there were 50 of them technically there were 49 because I lost 49 of them we did a thousand tiki mugs I don't understand the ratio we must have lost money on that I don't know I think we made money hopefully I know that the people loved them. I know that a lot of hard work and love and sweat and tears

and effort went into making the 49 special cards that I inserted into all of them. And the person who got the one-of-one uniform card already reached out, and I've already put them in touch with the RT store, and they're getting one of everything we have. You sent me a video of someone unboxing one and it was phenomenal. I love it.

Phenomenal. Should we put that? Should we link that? Yeah, we absolutely should. I think we probably already did, but we'll do it here too as well. Yeah, that dude who did, it was awesome. He did a great job. He top loaded it.

Everything was very funny. Showed off how practical the wrist pocket was. And it was so like dry and not tongue in cheek. That's why i loved it yeah i'll show you i had a premise this randomly while jeff and i were talking about the cups gavin this randomly popped in my head because i was thinking about the wrist pockets i would love to have one we only made 50 so they're very hard to get do you remember have you seen a season of survivor gavin where they have done the challenge where it's like three people in each

tribe have a bar across their shoulders and they put sandbags on it and whoever can last the longest wins immunity that week it's more of an old challenge I don't know so that one oh well this is I want I want Jeff to recreate this I want to see how

many pockets it would take to take that is awesome we should definitely do that if there is enough demand I want to see how many pockets it would take to take down Jeff. That is awesome. We should definitely do that. If there is enough demand, the audience has to want it, though. I will absolutely do this survivor challenge with wrist pockets. Oh, my God. Because you just did that stream, the everything must go, go now, which I haven't had a chance to watch yet, but I can't wait to do so.

I don't know that you'll have a chance to watch it it is it's on vod it's already on the site okay it's available we were doing that yes well it's it's there uh but we should could it be like a thing where every wrist pocket sold or something gets added to your poll and that's just how you end up with that's's funny. Like some sort of translation of trying to take down Jeff. That's funny. That's funny. Yeah. It's like how you buy a pair of Bomba socks

and they donate a pair of socks to a homeless person or whatever. Or whatever company that is. But it's like if you buy one, it donates one to my pain. Yes. That's interesting. Sand.

Ooh. Oh, you know what we can put? The freaking dirt from the hole. You're only going to be able to fill three wrist pockets with your puny ass tiny hole that's a whole mound out there we're on to something here glass fuck you we are on to something here that's great that might be an angle to bring the wrist pocket back although i'm not in a hurry to do a stream like the everything go must go go now it was fun but easily the hardest i have ever worked in my life i love the idea of us selling the dirt from your backyard let's get a ph sample so we can say what what's in it

you gotta hit a quota this month. Jeff's just covered in dirt. I have to buy a new house. They're selling too well. I wonder if we can sell enough wrist pockets to justify me getting a pool. There's something so great about the money being made to pay for your pool and simultaneously getting rid of the dirt from the hole i was thinking more of the dirt not the money but yeah oh my god we should probably wrap up then uh i will say real quick uh just wanted

to give you guys one piece of good news in my life because there aren't many uh i uh i'm riding my bike every day again nice yeah yeah it's working great. I got a new seat and that fixed everything. Wonderful. I'm so happy to hear that. I still don't have my new bike yet because that was a five month delay. But I made the old bike work and it's been awesome and there's been no

butt pain. Although, while I got my root canals done, that was interesting. I learned that you canals done. And, you know, that was interesting. I learned that you can get nitrous, like the gas, that makes it go a lot faster and a lot easier.

And so that helped. But yeah, my mouth is fine. I got to go back in six months. The guy said that if I have any pain or discomfort to let him know and he will pull it and then we will burn it

or shoot it in the space. But there's no saving it at this point. This is it. It's his last chance. This is it. It's on probation. I got tooth probation on this guy. The only weird thing is that

I was visited by the gentle ghost again. Oh, no. Yeah. Not the gentle... No, that's not good. I sprained my ankle when I was visited by the gentle ghost in the exact same spot, like the exact same spot where the ghost pushed me down the first time.

The ghost pushed me down again, except this time it hurt more. And I got to thinking, what if it's not a ghost? Although I'm still really open and receptive to that possibility. What if there's a, you know, you've guys heard of vortexes, like supposedly Sedona, Arizona is all vortexes, right? What if that,

what if I have found an Austin, Texas localized mini vortex, and it just happens to be at a crosswalk? I think we should investigate. It's got to be just like a breeze, like something about the highway nearby or something is just causing some sort of breeze. I'm telling you, it's not a breeze.

It was a ghost or a vortex. I know it's not what you mean, but every time you say vortex, I think of that Nerf Vortex football, and it just gets me excited. What a great product that was. If you want to feel like a professional athlete, go grab a vortex.

You can throw it 600 yards. It whistles. What happened to those? Are they still in production? I have no idea, but they're amazing. I'd love to have one. I want to see which one of us can throw a Vortex football the farthest.

I would, yeah. I want to see the translation of your fastball, which you still have to do again. You have to set a second number at some point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll get there. I just got to be, we had bean holes to dig. We got 350 baseballs to hit. Apparently, I have to hold again. You have to set a second number at some point. Yeah, we'll get there. We had bean holes to dig. We got 350 baseballs to hit. Apparently,

I have to hold a swimming pool worth of dirt on my shoulders. There's a lot ahead of us. Do you think you can hold the amount of dirt we dug out of the hole in its current state? Yeah, for sure. Really? I definitely do. Hold on. I can look at the

dirt hole. Without a doubt doubt be right back just just is he gonna go look he said for sure and then immediately like went back it's so a lot of dirt you know it's quite right no no no i i i do think that it's more dirt than he probably thought it was but to say for sure and then go well is really something so not for sure at all not for sure i'll say this it'll be close it'll be close that image that you post looks like it looked like you made him bury his own grave and he got that far. That's what I'm saying. Nobody's digging graves. Nobody.

I want that reconstructed but it's just your foot in the hole and it's buried. We should get that drawn out as a logo like a very simple NBA style like Ian face drawn out. If anyone asks me what this show is, I'm just going to show them

this picture. Oh my god, I ordered something so cool the other day. I know we're ending, and I'm going to end too. As I was numbering all those cards that I stamped and then hand numbered for the wrist pockets, I thought, if I do this again, I want to improve each time.

I want it to get better. So I got Tony and the e-com guys to buy me a gold foil stamper. It looks like a giant drill press, and it heats up a gold foil, and then you put in brass plates of numbers. It's very heavy, very unwieldy, but it works like a charm. And I was able to make golden numbers now, but I'm not satisfied with numbers, so I found this place on Etsy

that makes custom designs, and so I've ordered a bunch of custom Ian brass plates so I can put the face on stuff. Oh, the official face seal. Yeah, the official face seal. Yeah, the official face seal. I was going to do the face logo, but I didn't want to have the conversation with the very sweet old lady who was making it.

So I just said, how about this instead? And she was like, I don't get it, but okay. We're talking about like different, increasing the absurdity, because this all started, the first thing you marked with was like a, it was a torch, right? Like a blowtorch type thing what were you using oh that was you had an engraver a wood engraver i still have you had an engraver and then you had the wood burner and now you have a

fucking printing press in your house and it's just i want this evolution to continue to the point i don't know how they make these if we could somehow get a signature on a tire tread, I just want you driving over a line of things. Oh, that's a great idea. Dude, can I tell you? I had the other day, unironically, without hyperbole, I had a conversation with Emily when I was looking at the heat press. I was trying to figure out where to store it. And I thought, I went to Emily and I said,

I think we need to buy a bigger house. I need a room. I need a room for all the face devices. So I'm going to be looking into that. Why don't just build a face shed? Well, half my backyard's a hole now. You're going to have to build up from that,

that ground because it's impenetrable. The dirt he has in his backyard. I think we're halfway to digging the official face bunker. That's where it will be. That's a lot of rocks. Thanks for listening, assholes. Love ya. That's not an indigestion.

That's the real ending? Eric's gonna get mad if we don't end. He keeps saying what is happening in the episode. Do a nice ending. Well, it's that time again. You've spent the last oh i don't know depending on editing hour and hour to hour and five minutes laughing and learning and maybe crying a little bit and being challenged emotionally and mentally and and coming out

the other side maybe a little wiser a little tougher and uh maybe a little better mood and we uh we sure hope that was the case at least least, because it definitely was for some of us. Not all of us. You know who we're talking about. If you liked the episode, or even if it was just eh, but you didn't hate it, why don't you go ahead and give us a review,

or a like, or a positive thing, or mail some stars to us, or put some star stickers on shit around town, and write **** face on them. Whatever you want to do, we sure would appreciate it. And don't forget, this is a family-friendly Apple bagel podcast. So if you want your mom or your grandma to listen to it,

does your grandmother or mother know about butt plugs? If they don't, I have a gentle way to introduce them to it through the eyes of Andrew's own mother. So, yeah, why don't you bring them in next time, next Wednesday, sit him down and say, Gammy, let's listen in. Bye. Hey, guys, minor league fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. It's Jeffrey at the bat.

The balls have been signed. Maybe beanhole wasn't a good idea. Andrew wants a tiny fridge. The F*** Face cup is much bigger. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's, the F*** Face cup is much bigger, and once again Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.