F**kface - Tomorrow Is Chores // Naughty Naked Video Games [176]

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Geoff’s new nickname, Britney Spears, their picks for the WOAT, Maiquel Falcao, kinds of shit, a couples massage gone wrong, the Chip Kelly method, sleeping with airpods, if Gavin is an alien, A Thousand Words, Highlander, The Littlest Hobo, whether Canadians or Americans love dogs more, F**kface easter eggs, naughty naked video games, David Lynch, Halo Infinite, Austin summer ending, Gavin’s pool parties, hallucinating, exploding ear syndrome, sleep voices, drugs, and more.  Subscribe to the LetsPlay channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkxctb0jr8vwa4Do6c6su0Q  Sponsored by Babbel http://babbel.com/FACE , Factor http://factormeals.com/face50 code face50 , Füm http://tryfum.com/FACE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma, is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics, groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics. Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation of Beastrin.

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Visit dragonsdogma.com to buy the game and start your epic quest today. That's D-R-A-G-O-N-S-D-O-G-M-A.com to learn more. Are you guys okay if I tell a gross story? Oh, yes. I'm okay with it. Goddamn, Nick was fucking shot out of a cannon with that.

Nick is fist pumping right now. He's been waiting. I love fucking stories. All right. pumping right now he's been waiting all right it's not that gross but okay he's doing like the nick cage head spin and face off when he's dressed as the priest he's just fucking going wild over this god damn that was funny hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. This is episode 176. My name is Jeff Ramsey and with me as always, Andrew Panton and Gavin Free. Hello. Hiya.

Hi. That's my name. I felt, your name is Andrew. I felt like, I felt like that was a pretty good intro. That's me. It was like, nobody stepped on me. I didn't stutter. I feel like we nailed that one.

That's like a, like if you want to show a, like a dictionary definition of a good intro, I feel like you could show that. I don't think it would be near the definition of energy though. No. You don't think I had energy? No, you had energy, but it wasn't like, it wouldn't be a defining intro for energy. I think it was a perfectly acceptable intro to this show. Not memorable either way, but like fine. Not memorable.

No, and I say that like with nothing but respect and love for you, Jeff. Why don't you show, alright little dickhead, why don't you show me, why don't you show me energy? Well, this is wacky energy, this is a talk show morning radio listen to face on station 106.5 the wave why did you change the whole intro with energy though

i i don't know i just uh i went into when i think energy and like talking i think like radio because it feels very forced i will say that that Jeff you didn't have a forced energy So you want me to do forced radio DJ? Yes, I do actually I'd love to hear you do forced radio energy. Oh God See it's not in you today because That's why it's me the the Gator, Jeff Ramsey. And with me, as always, the Gooch Pooch, Gabby Wabby, and Johnny Caviar. What's going on, fellas? Now, that was very high energy, but I think your other one was better.

But that was great energy. 10 out of 10. That was memorable. We got to move on. I don't know why I said Gator. Eric's asking why I said Gator. I don't know. It just seemed like a morning.

It came out of you, and I like that. I like that we learned that about you today. I think we could do a spontaneous nickname. Yeah, Gator. Jeff the Gator Ramsey. I'm not mad at Gator. I don't know as much as T-Bone, but I'll take Gator. Gator feels like they would be friends with T-Bone.

Like, if T-Bone had a friend named Gator, that just checks out. That feels right. Wait. T-Bone and Gator sounds like an adventure two dudes have hopping trains. You know? Yes. The adventure of T-Bone and Gator. Traveling across the country, mixing it up, getting into

trouble, getting out of trouble. Yeah. I'd listen or watch T-Bone and Gator for sure. Either way. I've made a worst of all time discovery. Oh, you did? Yeah, I don't know what the theme is for worst of all time discovery what's oh you didn't yeah i don't know what like what the theme is for worst of all time it could just be anything right yeah well it was sports wasn't it that's what we were talking about sports specific okay this isn't sports it could well

i still want to hear your worst of all time okay the worst uh social media video editor of all time oh britney spears She is absolutely dog shit. There's cuts in the middle of words. There's like repetition of the say. None of it makes any sense. Do you think that's on her? Well, like, is it her doing it? Yeah. Oh, I don't know.

I would assume not. Really? I don't think so. Ah, I don't know. But I have no idea. It could be. It's true. I haven't. I'm not in know but I have no idea it could be it's true I haven't I'm not in the Britney Spears loop right now yeah I don't know you know nothing against her

but there's absolutely no you know no cohesion through it you know I saw the other day that you know that she had a video recently a non-cohesive video recently where she was clanging knives together. Oh, yes. I read that the police department did a health and welfare check on her because of that.

I assume they weren't real knives. Were they actual knives? I don't know, but I'm glad that people are looking out for her. Yeah. That's not a joke. I love Britney Spears. I want her to be happy and healthy. I think we all do.

And enjoying freedom. Yeah, right? Like, she had a fucking raw deal with that conservatorship, and she's finally free of it. And newly divorced now, too, apparently, which is sad. Oh, yeah. We were just talking about her recently. And her young husband.

Young ex-husband. Soon-to-be ex-husband. Yeah, were we the cause of that? I think we were the cause of something else recently, weren't we? No. Okay. Absolutely not. Let's just of something else recently, weren't we? No. Okay. Absolutely not. Let's just stop it there.

We weren't. We 100% were not. Oh, good. You want to hear my worst of all time? I got a worst of all time. It's sports related. Okay. MMA.

I don't know if anyone else has done research for this. I kind of struggled with like, you don't want somebody that like just bounced out of any league immediately like i don't know i just feel like that's that's you want like longevity and their badness or like they were so uniquely bad that things like ended or or that's like the blemish on their thing my worst of all time and it's to this day the worst sporting moment i've ever seen for just being completely unenjoyable nothing great about it is an mma fight between miguel falco and gerald harris which happened like over 10 years ago at this point i'd say and i still think about it the most non-excite just nothing happened just two guys looking at each other and it was Miguel Falco's

first fight in the UFC and he had all this rep going into it is like this devastating knockout puncher that is going to destroy everyone like none of his fights exited the like made it out of the first round and it was just nothingness so the entire time type of match where if it was the first ever MMA fight the whole sport wouldn't have taken off. It would have collapsed. And that is only emphasized by the fact that that is Mikel Falco's only fight in the UFC. I think he got arrested for something and there was visa issues.

So then he was quickly, like once other problems showed up, cut from the roster. But what made it like exceptionally bad is he was fighting a guy named Gerald Harris. And at that time, the kind of general rule in the UFC was if you lose three fights in a row, you're done. But that is sort of the exception. Like three fights, you're out. He was on a three-fight winning streak, lost that fight, and was cut from the roster because it was so boring.

Won and out. Won and out. One and out. One loss and out. So that is my worst of all time when I think of sports is immediately to Miguel Falco, Gerald Harris. It's a shame, too, because Miguel Falco was a really good fighting name. Like, you could have the Falco punch. You could be...

Protected by Falcos. You could be protected by Falcos, exactly. You could be some version of E.D. Falco, I guess. That's great for a fighter. You could be Nurse Betty. Well, no, what about Falcon Punch? Like, I think of Star Fox. Like, it's not exactly the same,

but that's from my brain. Yeah, Falco punch, yeah. Yeah, isn't that what you just said? Yeah, it was the first thing. Jeff, do you have a woat for anything? No, I haven't looked into it yet, unfortunately. I apologize, but I will deliver some woats for you guys soon. I have one, but I don't think you guys are going to agree that it's a woat.

Okay. But it is the thing in which all woats are judged to me, which is Mario Mendoza, former baseball player, as he was so bad having a league average, a batting average of 200, that they named the 200 batting average the Mendoza line, where if you are batting below 200, you are likely to get cut or sent down.

And that is the line at which he batted. I think almost every year of his professional career. So to be so bad that they name the bar that they judge people being bad after you, to me, is really exceptional and really stand out in terms of what the woat is. I would argue that if he's not below his own bar, there's other woats. Exactly.

There are. But they are, like Jeff's intro today, not memorable, and Mario Mendoza is due to the Mendoza line. God damn it. Why do I keep catching stray bullets about my fucking intro? It was a perfectly regulation intro. Thank you, Gavin.

Yeah, no, it was fine. Sorry, Gator. I just thought that, you know, it's just not memorable, and I think Mario Mendoza is. I think I got a nickname. I think a nickname came out of it, so that is pretty memorable right there. That's true. Fucking hell. Well, the nickname came on the redo, to be fair. Yeah, it didn't come from your unmemorable

intro. Yeah, but if I hadn't done a perfectly regulation, fairly memorable intro that then you guys shit on, I wouldn't have done the second intro. Yeah, but that's all butterfly effect stuff. You can't really argue. You know, that's like

going back like three trades or like three years in the NBA and going like, well, if this guy didn't get traded here, this wouldn't have happened. You can't do that, Jeff.

What do you think is the worst shit? What? What do you mean? It's like common shits, like dog shit, like if something's dog shit or like horse shit

if it's not true. Like what's the worst shit? I don't even know how to measure this well how many shits are there there's dog shit horse shit there's bullshit bullshit bullshit's pretty bad fish shit are we being literal what about wombats wombats poop square oh there's bat shit I like guano but like it's a weird it's like how it's used as opposed to what the actual shit is is the the problem I think dog shit is the worst because yeah it doesn't necessarily mean anything other than terrible yeah exactly

but I think a bulls literal shit is way worse than a dog's literal shit that's just like how are we measuring this what's this what what animal has the smelliest shit I have no idea the mole has the smelliest shit let's make things better count what's the name of the herring horse shit cat shit dog shit human shit elephant shit, dog shit, human shit, cow shit, pig shit, elephant shit, junk shit. Is this a list or are you just aiming? Yeah, that's a list.

It goes from one to eight or whatever. So apparently horse shit's the worst smell. A preview of our upcoming shit draft. But we're number four. So we're hanging in there as humans. Man, do I have a shit story for you guys? Oh, let's go. Oh, let's do it.

Oh, yeah, I can do that. So it's been a very busy few weeks. I don't know if you guys know this, but I'm getting married, and we're getting kind of close to it, so a lot of stuff is happening. And in addition to the fact that for some fucking reason I decided to make another podcast and also start doing gaming content again.

So I've been a little busy. Little Jeffy's been busy lately. And it's been a particularly stressful time, which is cool. I don't mind stress. But I thought last weekend that Emily has been similarly stressed. So I thought,

I'm gonna do something nice for her and by proxy for me. So I booked us a couple's massage. Something that we always get like a couple's massage on a vacation like we go to Mexico or somewhere, right? And so I thought, there's no reason why we always get like a couple's massage on a vacation like we go to mexico or somewhere right and so i thought why we there's no reason why we can't do one in town like on a saturday sort of thing or you're just both getting one at the same time

yeah no same room and uh so i went to this place we'd never been to before it was fine it's one of those you know spa, spa chains, fairly regulation place. And, you know, the way most of them were, I don't know if you guys have had couples massages before, but the way it traditionally works when I do this is there's like a they tell you to get there like 20 minutes early because they want you to like get undressed and get into your robe and chill out in their little waiting room and listen to whales make or whatever and drink cucumber water. And so we get thereale's Mate or whatever and drink cucumber water. And so we get there 20 minutes early or whatever, and they take us into a room, and it's like a little, I don't know, meditation, calming room.

It's got some, you know, it's got like fucking bamboos and shit in there. And there's like a door to the left for the men's room and a door to the right for the ladies' room. And they go, just make yourselves comfortable and whenever you're ready, go in and change your clothes and then come back out, sit here for 15 or 20 minutes, know smell the aromatics or whatever the fuck is going on in here and relax and we'll come get you and massage you and so

i go into the men's room and emily goes into the women's room and you walk in and there's like a there's just like a stall that's shut and then a shower to the right and then uh on the left uh some uh what do you call that thing a sink right and then on the right there's a couple of uh there's lockers to put put your shit in and so i start to get undressed and put my stuff in the locker and i'm not thinking anything i'm alone in this room right it's it's a really small room it's not that big There's only one stall for the bathroom. And as I'm taking my shirt off, I hear a guy go, Oh!

Oh! Jesus. And I go, oh, no. I am not alone in this room. And this guy's going through it. And I don't smell anything. And I'm like, OK. All right.

And I just thought, like, I should get dressed. I should get undressed quickly and put this robe on uh all right and i just i like i should get dressed i should get you know undressed quickly and put this robe on and so i'm just like getting undressed and throwing stuff in and i'm just hearing like like this guy's going oh he's having a major event in the toilet right and so i'm like pretty uncomfortable because it's a pretty small bathroom and i feel like i'm three feet away from a guy who's dumping out his kidneys and uh and so i go uh i'm like oh fuck so like just like shoving stuff in the locker and i don't understand how the lock works and so i just like slam it shut and i'm like fuck this i'm getting out of here and as i'm getting out of here i hear the guy go oh shit oh shit like at the top of his voice and i go oh no i get the fuck out of there i don't

know what that is i don't want to know i don't want to be in the room i don't want to smell it when it happens i just get out of there and i go sit down in the waiting area and emily comes out a few seconds later and i tell her kind of whisper the story to her and we both just start laughing we're laughing and laughing and laughing and not too long later this woman this older woman comes out of the women's bathroom and she's all dressed she's got a dress on and like her hair is done nice and she's got earrings and jewelry on and stuff clearly it's taken her a while to get dressed and i immediately clock i go like oh i bet she's the wife or the significant other of the dude who's uh shitting his brains out in the other bathroom

and uh and so we start to get a little quiet you know and i just keep thinking like i hope they come to get us before this guy walks out the door because i don't want to see what made those noises right i don't want anything to do with it and uh and we're just trying not to laugh and like we just keep looking at each other that's one of those things that every time we look at each other we just start fucking busting out laughing and we're trying not to be too disruptive to the lady who's, you know, enjoying her post massage or whatever. And, and then I asked Emily, I'm trying to say something. I go, did you lock your locker? And she's like, yeah, I locked my locker. Why? And I was like, oh, I don't know how to do it. I couldn't figure it out. And I was trying to get out of there in

a hurry. And she was like, they didn't tell you how to lock it. They just, they showed me and they didn't show me. It was a lady. So she didn't go into the bathroom with me she just opened the door and i walked in and so emily told me how to lock it and i thought well my phone is in there and a bunch well yeah my phone is in there a bunch of other stuff oh no and so i should i'll just run in there and lock it real fast because this guy has not come out but i also think like you know the paranoid part of me is like the guy's been in there like a half an hour. Is he just going through my wallet right now? You know? So I run in there and I don't see the guy.

I open the door and there's nobody in there. And I think that's weird. And then I hear the shower going. I realized that I'm here in water and he's taking a fucking shower. And so I locked my wall. Like I get out of there and I go tell him, you're like, it was so bad.

He shit himself. He had to take a shower. Like that's why he was screaming shit. Oh shit. He must have shit all shit himself. He had to take a shower. Like, that's why he was screaming, shit, oh shit. He must have shit all over himself, and his only recourse is to take a fucking shower now. Like, and this poor woman

has been out there for 15 minutes waiting on him, and this dude is now in the shower. And you figure, you know, guys typically get dressed pretty fucking fast, right, in the grand scheme of things. So he's probably been in there a while, and she's just waiting, and I feel terrible. Because this guy's clearly going through it and clearly having to wash the shit off of his body from his explosive diarrhea or whatever it was. And so I go back out and I whisper to Emily and we start laughing again.

And then they come and get us. And then we have a massage in the same room. Normal bog standard massage. It was fine. I give it a B minus massage. It was OK. But the whole time I'm just trying not to laugh because all I can hear in my head is that guy go, oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Over and over and over again. And I'm just like giggling to myself. I think the lady thinks I'm ticklish. I'm not, you know. And as soon as it's like an 80 minute massage. So as soon as the massage is over, Emily and I are walking back. We look at each other and I'm like, how was the massage?

And she's like, oh, this is. And we just start laughing. We just start laughing again about the dude who took the dump. And we and I are walking back. We look at each other. And I'm like, how was the massage? And she's like, eh. And we just start laughing. We just start laughing again about the dude who took the dump. And we laugh all the way back. We get back to that common area. And we sit down. And they come and they bring us our water. And they say, you know, drink this water.

Don't put your clothes on yet. Continue to stay. Stay here as long as you want. Relax. Detoxify. Enjoy being here. Don't be in a hurry to get out of here. You know, you want to like, I don't know't know settle before you leave and so we're sitting there and uh we're just we're literally still

joking and laughing about the guy screaming shit oh shit we just keep saying it to each other over and over again and out of the blue my stomach goes no and emily goes oh my god what was that and i go uh and i get hit with a cramp and i I go, uh, I'll be right back. And I run into the bathroom and I barely get the toilet door, like the stall door open, turn around, pull my pants down. The second I'm hovering over the bowl before I even touch, a shotgun of diarrhea comes out of me. Like, kaboom!

And I go, oh, oh. And it's like, I'm getting hit with instant karma. She's become the guy. I don't think it's karma. I think it's a time loop. I think you were putting your thing in the hook as that was happening. I was the guy in the shower, and I never...

It was you the whole time. That never crossed my mind. Well, I diverted the timeline a little bit. So anyway, I'm like, oh! And then I have i have like two or three more shotgun blasts just heinous stinky and terrible and i was normal i was feeling normal i didn't have any weird food or anything and i'm like oh god and i and in my head i'm like well the only saving grace is i haven't shit all over myself, you know? So I like clean up and it's just it's a it's a it's a bad duty, but it's not.

I didn't explore on myself. Right. I don't need to take a shower. I'm like, the one thing I'm hanging on to is like, I am definitely not taking a shower right now. That's no big deal. And and I get up and I flush the toilet and I go, oh, no. Oh, shit. The toilet works at like, I'm going to say 18 percent toilet level. You found the old shit. I found the old shit. Oh, shit. The toilet works at, like, I'm going to say 18% toilet level.

You found the old shit. I found the old shit. And I've dropped bull and cow and donkey shit at this thing. Like, I've made a mound, and it's, like, siphoning off little bits. And it takes, like, a full minute for this thing to fill back up. And if you try to short circuit and do it early, there's no like half power. It just drains the water and nothing goes out. I

have to, I flushed eight times. And I still had about 20% of the of the fish flakes left in the bowl, right? And I don't know what to do. I just can't. I was hoping we'd get to that I can't make it go

away and I've been in there for like 15 minutes now and I'm like the only thing I'm thinking is like I'm gonna come out and Emily's gonna be completely dressed and waiting on me going what the fuck is going on why are you take why did you take so long right and uh and I just I gave up I just I didn't know what else to do I tried and I tried and I tried and I tried, I gave up. I just, I didn't know what else to do. I tried and I tried and I tried and I tried and I got almost all of the duty down, but some of it just wouldn't go. And all I could think of is like, this is a known problem for them.

This happens every day. They're the ones, they should fix their fucking toilet. They got to expect this is happening. And I feel so terrible, but I just like, I just left the bathroom and I walked outside

and emily is hasn't moved she's still in her robe and her eyes are like the size of dinner plates and she's just looking at me and i go hey and she goes i heard it all i heard everything she heard my dude my shit was so loud she heard my poops. She heard me moaning. She heard me saying shit to myself. She heard me flushing the toilet eight times. And then, so I explained the story to her. Oh my God. And then she has to leave and go get dressed after she laughs at me for like a half an hour.

So then I'm sitting in there and I'm just waiting for her to get dressed. And the entire time I'm like, please don't let a guy walk into that bathroom. Please don't let a guy walk into that bathroom. Please don't let him see what's in there. You know, please, please let us just get out of here. And then finally,

she came out and we got out of there and I can never go back to that place again. Relaxing massage. Relaxing massage on a Saturday. Yeah, did it really,

really bring you down? Really calm you? Yeah. No. Yeah. Perfect. So you picked like laxative instead of lavender

as the phrase. I don't know if it was some sort of a shitatsu massage that I was not familiar with or something. But goddamn, dude, it was something about that place. It clears you out. You had some knots in areas you did not expect. You got you got denotted in the worst way. All I could think of the whole time is like, I've done this to myself. I made fun of too much. Nods in areas you did not expect. You got denodded in the worst way. All I could think of the whole time is like,

I've done this to myself. I made fun of the guy too much. I crossed a threshold, like an invisible universal threshold, and now I'm paying the price for it. I shouldn't have laughed that hard, you know? And yeah, there you go. That's my Saturday.

That's amazing. Oh my God. I'm so sorry. So was it overall, did you come away less relaxed than before you went in? Yeah, yeah. I definitely was worse for wear. 100%.

I mean, I was lighter. I weigh less. But yeah, it definitely ruined the effect of the massage pretty quickly. Oh man. That is brutal. Yeah, yeah. So what's new with y'all i had a i had a realization with gavin that has helped me understand him a little bit better oh no do i know about this

no you don't know about this oh shit but uh well you in the recent episode you described how your internal thought process goes and it was very foreign to what I experienced. It was tough. Not very wordy. Yeah, not very wordy. More image based. And it's just like so foreign to what I'm used to. And like just trying to I was trying to piece together and I was thinking about it.

And this isn't going to mean anything to you, Gavin. But it really it helped me put things into perspective of how to view you. You are internally running a chip kelly offense is what i realized you and chip kelly one in the same chip kelly was a college football coach who had a like a run into the nfl i'd say maybe like seven years ago and his whole thing was what made him unique is instead of like you know doing play calls they would do images on the sideline to do the plays so the players oh yeah that's your brain gavin that is just how i imagine how you function chip kelly also known for a high speed offense you love high

speed cameras it all make like it's just one and one so i'm now thinking of you in the same context as chip kelly and it is really just I feel like I understand you better now. It's not as confusing. That's amazing. I have context for you. And was he all right? Or was he a wote? He was.

He did not last long in the NFL. All of the Chip Kelly experience did not translate. That being said, I believe that that process is still adopted today by a lot of teams. A lot of a lot of teams will use images now instead of. Yes. Yeah. So he had a lasting effect. For sure.

It's like say Gavin does. I'd say Gavin has a lasting effect. Maybe not as lasting as your shit in that that bathroom, Jeff. But Gavin stays around. Someone on the face subreddit schwifty oak made a picture and it's inside you there are two wolves

so this is Gavin's two wolves Gavin has two wolves inside him one stands up and go to bed the other one has an external monologue

they posted it and then they had there are the only reply on their thread and they just said internal monologue

and it was everything everything about it's a mess and i think it's so it's been making me laugh it's been making me laugh all day long one stands up and go to bed i just keep walking around the house saying it. It's so funny. That's actually pretty accurate because I once again this week tried talking to myself and I tried one thing. I tried to say one thing and it wasn't even it didn't even come out grammatically correct. What did you say?

I had a pile of laundry on the floor and I just like walked up to it and exclaimed out loud. Tomorrow is chores. That has to be one of the titles. Tomorrow is chores. It's like, oh my God, it's not even a sentence. I really don't know how to do it. I've been having a communication nightmare.

I've also been having the worst dreams. Like I talk about, I've talked about how shit some. I've also been having the worst dreams. Like I talk about, I've talked about how shit some of my dreams are in the past where I just dream about my nightstand. I just dream about what my head is pointed at in real life. And my cats have just been dicking around a lot recently to the point where I've just started sleeping with my AirPods in. I'll just like pop on a YouTube video

and listen to something to fall asleep. But it's it's really making my dream shit because in i can't hear what anyone's saying in any of my dreams and i'm trying to listen i'm like huh and then i'll pull my airpods out of my ears in the dream and have them in my hand and i can still hear the video so So I'm like, oh, no, no, sorry. No, they're still in my real ears. These are my fake. These are my dream AirPods. But my real ears still have.

So it's like I'm in a lucid dream, but I don't do anything interesting other than try to explain that my actual ears still have my AirPods in. And that's why I can't hear anyone. And I've just had that dream like two or three nights in a row. It's so dog shit was there a movie at one point or a entertainment property where there were aliens living on earth as regular humans but they didn't know they were aliens like they were asleep and they were just living in like human bodies as vessels and then at some point it gets activated and they realize they're aliens i feel like that's you i feel like if that's if that's actually happening i think you're just an alien doing your best in a human body and you just you haven't been you're a super agent that hasn't been

awoken by the mothership yet uh it's possible i mean i'm definitely unaware of it if that's the case yeah well you would i i just I'm just so frustrated that I'm aware that I'm dreaming and it doesn't even break the dream. Like, I'm there telling people that, like,

I'd love to listen to, like, I know it's not worth listening to, but I'm still trying to, like, be polite to them. I don't know what's going on.

Oh, I, I love you so much. You, it must be so boring to be you sometimes. Why? Just boring dreams. You got nobody to talk to when you're alone.

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You said more stuff in five minutes than I say in a week. It was like a six minute thing of I was just monologuing to myself, but I was by myself. I was alone. So it's just filling time. It's film. It was all full grammatical sentences as well. I was impressed. Maybe maybe words are finite and we only have so many we can say.

And Andrew and I will someday run out and Gavin will still be going strong. Gavin is going to reach age 250 and you and I are going to be dead by 60. He is extending that mileage. We are not going to last nearly as long. It's going to be a different kind of podcast after we die. So the lonelier you are, the lonelier you get?

Because all my friends will be dead. You're going to start the beginning. The first five years of your life are in total silence. And the last five are also going to be in total silence maybe you guys remember Highlander maybe Highlanders weren't actually immortal maybe they just didn't talk enough

they just outlived everybody oh that's a real dog shit movie that one I love it thousand words never heard of it I never watched it so it's cursed and the only well Eric just posted a movie poster for a thousand words it is a movie Words never heard of it. I never watched it Well Eric just posted a movie poster for a thousand words it is a movie a thousand words a fast-talking agent can only speak

1,000 more words before he dies in this feel-good comedy story That just sounds like a contract negotiation that became a movie plot he's like i just don't want that many lines i don't want to say that much in this movie it's very front loaded that script yeah what so what does he end up just in silence i'm sure the reverses the curse in some way i'm sure he learns like important life lesson, right? Yes, absolutely. Hey, which Highlander is a dog shit movie? The original with Rucker Hauer and Christopher Lambert? Rucker Hauer's in that movie?

The original, he's the bad guy. Oh, yeah. I remember Clancy Brown. There were a couple. There was a TV show and there was a couple of remakes, but I think the original was a pretty good movie. I mean, I haven't seen this since I was a kid I mean it's like shit good It's not good good

Watch it now Was Highlander 2 any good? No I don't think so Maybe that's what you're thinking of Isn't that the movies where they kept making sequels But all the sequels were to the first movie? That sounds right I don't think they should be allowed to do do I hate that I think Mario Van Peebles

was involved at some point right was he you know yeah that sounds right maybe one of the remakes solo himself I'll say it's no blast that's for sure like that in the calendar I'm close to Has anyone explored more Little Hobo, the littlest hobo, since watching it? You go deep? God, no. Jeff, you seen all season one? No, but I did see the new version of it you sent me,

which looks pretty exciting. Simon and Rex, yeah. I love that there's always a dog show in Canada, it seems. There's always a dog doing something for someone. Do you think Canadians just appreciate dogs more than Americans do? I hope so. That'd be a great thing to claim. What?

Didn't we have Rin Tin Tin? That was like a whole thing. That's a Christmas song. That's a Christmas song, too, right? There was like Wishbone and stuff as well, right? We had Boomer. We had Benji. We've had a lot. We've had a lot.

We've had a pretty rich history of American dogs. Yeah, and Snoopy. Yeah, and think about Snoopy. We're talking fake dogs. You got Scooby-Doo. You got Snoopy. We could have a whole fake dog draft. Clifford might be Canadian.

Dog draft. Dog draft. Oh, you know, we also had Turner and Hooch. Now that I'm... Man, fuck Canada. We love dogs. Yep. We clearly love dogs

more than Canada yeah how dare you I never said it I said I'd like to claim it I didn't even say we are walk it back walk it back

there's no walking back I never walked it forward I can't walk it back when does uh face off start coming out uh Monday it's already out now if you go to

facepod.com sick yeah their episodes have begun by the time this is out i watched the intro and i fucking laughed and laughed and laughed we put up it's great so if you want if you want to get a tease of it before you sign up at facepod.com slash first we put out like the first 13 minutes like we talked about in the episode. So it's all the drafting and everything up into the baseball game. Does it just end with like, all right, let's do it. Yeah, it really is. And then it goes into like the teaser for like the thing.

It's like a minute of like us yelling at the baseball game. And then it ends. And I just went, that's great, man. That like we really nailed that. it the baseball game and then it ends and i just went that's great man that like we really nailed that that reminds me of uh when i did the when i did the presentation for why i deserved the cock award i shared my screen and i shared everything and i think it was edited out i made i put jokes in all of my tabs but then it was just the the section in which i went to share my screen and showed all the tabs i had open was removed which then is alarming because

of like what the tabs were i don't remember all of them but like one of them was like child kicking velocity was a search i had like i had all very clear jokes that i'm assuming just went unnoticed but i could also imagine the editor looking at it just being like, ah, it's just personal stuff. He's just looking at this. I think I had Brainstorm Pickle as a search in one of my tabs. Oh, we better cut this out. We don't want to

expose Andrew. So no one... It's not that from a concept of exposing. I just think my concern was they looked at it and thought that is just what i would naturally search yeah and no one spoke to you about it no i just heard because i brought it up and uh and then i heard later but andrew andrew and gavin did you guys see the special thing that happened on the break show that we filmed right this week i don't know when i guess

i heard something really exciting happened i haven't had a chance to watch it yet though dude it was pretty fucking awesome. I bought this basketball blind box thing where you just get an autographed basketball. It could be any of like a hundred different players. And we pulled a Shaquille O'Neal autographed basketball. Wow! Oh my God.

I can't imagine anybody much cooler than Shaquille O'Neal to get a signed basketball. No. That's fucking awesome. Especially considering, you know, I don't know. I feel like we've spoken about him positively in the past on this podcast and I'm a big fan. It was pretty fucking awesome.

That's so cool. That's my plug for the break show. All right. And also it's just, it's fitting because you got the Shaq attack on the desk. Like it's, we've been foreshadowing this. We put the basketball in the Shaq so that he was holding it. That's great. I can't wait to watch that.

It was really, really, really cool. Those break shows are really fun. I've really enjoyed watching you guys open those cards, and it's good. Thanks, man. I've got a thing I've been doing in the background that nobody's caught on to yet that I've really been enjoying. I don't have the opportunity to do it a lot, but when I do it, it makes me fucking laugh. And it's

directed at one person, and that person hasn't figured it out yet. And I want to see how long that'll go on for. That's really funny. Are they on this podcast? They may or may not be. If they're not on this podcast, they listen to it. They're either on this podcast or they listen to it. They're either on this podcast or they listen to it.

So do you have anything that you have hidden Gavin throughout these that, that, that are just nobody's discovered yet throughout what? Like, I think that's a podcast. Yeah, that's a no. You don't have any of those.

I have, I have a few things that I've put out there. You're laying little Easter eggs? Yeah. Whenever I can, I like to throw out. Eric and I were talking about in something we recorded recently, like the ARG stuff of Cloverfield was so much fun. Whenever I have the ability to throw an Easter egg or that type of thing out there, I do.

So I definitely, I have a few that people haven't found, and that brings me a lot of joy that they're just there undiscovered what's what's the name of that game we're playing the three of us you and immortality immortality yeah by by the time this is out that is not out yet that'll start coming out

on rooster teeth first for our let's play channel because there it's like boy is it our take on Funhaus? Boy, is there nudity. There's a lot of fucking in it. There's a lot. There's a lot there.

It's really something. Gavin, it's the biggest whiplash I've ever had with a video game. Yeah, me too. I actually recently just played my first sort of like Naughty Naked game video game yeah

okay tell us about it man go on yeah no go for it as you know Meg and I play Battle Chess which is a game from

the late 80s early 90s where it's chess but they like have little fights it's animated yeah it's like in Star Wars yeah I was like

I wonder if there's like a modern modern version of Battle Chess and there is and apparently it's animated yeah it's like star wars yeah i was like i wonder if there's like a modern modern version of battle chess and there is and apparently it's shit but then in the steam menu was a game called sex chess and uh i thought it'd be funny to install that but it's it's not funny it's just no it's just sad it's just horrible and yeah i wish i could unbuy it yeah i don't get it well the fact that you you can't you bought it on steam yeah yeah so you've played it for more than two hours so it is clearly you've hated it have i played it for more than two hours i don't well if you can refund it if you play for under two hours you can get a refund on the game so oh well maybe i'm

assuming must still be in that i've probably played it for six minutes that well you're good yeah go get that refund yeah go get that refund if he doesn't get that refund we'll know he's still playing offline yeah it has been such a joy and i hope like you know in social media like tiktoks or whatever there's sometimes that annoying thing of like stick to the end that couldn't be more true to our first immortality video where i love that game so much just just genuinely and you guys were not clicking with it for 98 of that first video it is a non-stop train of shitting on this thing that i like size just rolling with it and then it shifted and it connected with you guys and it has been a completely different experience in video two it knocked my dick completely off of my body i could

not believe what happened i could by this game that i shit on for 60 minutes i can't i think of all the things that you guys have recorded i've not been in this is the one i'm most excited to see it's i was texting gavin about it saying exactly what you said eric of i've never seen a bigger 180 from anyone with any game than you two with immortality there are sections of that second video we filmed that are complete silence because you guys are just like reading the text and like getting wrapped up in the story and it has made me so happy how invested you both are we need to we need to finish this before this comes out though I don't want you guys to get spoiled.

Yeah, no, definitely I don't want to either. I'll say this about this game. You may or may not know that my favorite creator of all time is David Lynch, right? I kind of worship David Lynch above all else, all others. And I have... David Cronenberg has come close in the past, but I've never encountered anyone who is as lynchy and as lynch and a lot of people try. And I'm not saying Cronenberg's trying. He's his own thing.

But it's the closest thing I can get to being, like, of the same level of just, like, immersive, weird aesthetic and intellectualism and layers that the david lynch productions are and this game has it like i i've never i've played all the games that they tout as like the alan wakes all the the one that funhouse played for a while about the weird town and the person shows up that's supposed to be very david lyny. It's fucking dog shit. Like, none of, no other movie, anytime something is described as David Lynch-ian or

Lynch-esque, it's always a letdown. This game fucking nails it. It is really impressive, and it's really fun, and it's bizarre. Just bizarre. I can't wait. Huh. Cannot wait to continue that with you guys. Yeah, me too. How many pots will it be?

Three or four. I think, I bet it'll be four. I don't think there's, from what we did and what we found in this last one, I don't think that, I think we're probably about halfway. I bet we get pretty deep in three

and then in four, we get it about halfway through the video and we are, I bet we're going to be fired up. I mean, that would be a nice contrast between that and our thumbsticks videos, which I think will be 650 parts. Oh, my God.

Oh, no! What? We filmed two thumbsticks videos, and we haven't won yet to get off of base sticks. We haven't even used my thumbsticks yet. We have made it to the final six times Gavin and I just have had issues recently we wanted to record

finally something happened Jeff that I've heard about countless times from you throughout the year and sort of reputation thing Gavin I thought it would be fun because Gavin and I play Halo Infinite all the time together we haven't done any ranked so I thought oh it'd be fun if you and I play Halo Infinite all the time together. We haven't done any ranked. So I thought, oh, it'd be fun if you and I do a ranked thing. And so we did it and we filmed all five games.

And we decided to scrap the video because we didn't have anything due to the fact that in game one and game two, Gavin was trying to play using the large TV in his office that was in front of his face and he couldn't see and it was making him sick and so he had one kill in the first game and then two kills in the second game which is horrendous for him like this is the really bad performance even for gavin standards and then in the third game he you're welcome he decided to grab an hdmi cable so he could move the gameplay to a different screen that he could use. But when he did that, he lost all of his footage for the first two games.

Gone. So we lost two and a half games worth of footage. We have half a game there. In our fourth game, everybody on the other team quit, except one guy, so we didn't really get anything there so gavin had a game and a half and so we decided to scrap our entire hour of footage that we

recorded complete waste of time that would have been a lot to cut as well because one of the people on our team was very unhappy that i wasn't doing well and kept writing a lot of mean things and we kept getting matched with them over and over again so they had like a three game arc with Gavin getting progressively more angry at him to the point where he would like load in with us and he'd be like oh shit and just be like stop shitting

on me and I'm there trying to plug in cables and like unfreeze my audio so we lost that and then the next day decided well let's do it again and we both made or used alternate profiles because i thought me being ranked what i was might like make it tougher for gavin's ranking because they might factor that in so let's start fresh so we we both are on alternate accounts we get ready to go're recording. I do the intro for what we're going to do.

I set everything up. I then learn that you need to play a minimum of 25 Halo Infinite games before it lets you be ranked. So we can't be ranked. So then we just decide to play normal Halo Infinite, and that'll be the video. We finish the video. I have accidentally stopped recording my audio 12 seconds into what we did so we've lost two halo infinite video we've scrapped both of them because we just don't have anything to salvage it uh we can't play halo infinite the game that we play the most

without recording without any issue we cannot capture a moment of so now we're gonna the plan is to wait for the new season to start and then we can re-rank on our mains. So we can re-rank it. Yeah. Yeah, I think the universe is trying to tell you not to play Halo.

It is the equivalent of you two always, it raining when you guys would get together. But that eventually stopped so I'm hopeful that eventually

we will be able to record us playing Halo Infinite. I think actually in Austin, summer just ended this week. Yeah. It's over?

What an amazing summer there. Phenomenal. According to whose metrics? Well, just weather metrics. I didn't understand if he meant by whose metrics as far as... It's the worst summer of my life. What are you talking about? It was 107 degrees every day.

Everything in Austin died. Oh, I love it. I had fun swimming. You love it? Yeah, like out on the boat and stuff. It was amazing. I mean, that was fun. Yeah.

And swimming was good. The day-to-day, like putting the bins out and coming back sweating, not ideal. But I'm talking about what allows you summer antics was phenomenal getting in your pool getting in your pool when it was 94 out and you made the pool 94 was a really interesting way

to kind of cap off the whole thing yeah I messed that up that was a great way to cap off a weird summer man here's how I envision that went down Eric I think it went down like this.

Meg was like, they're coming over again. And I was like, they keep asking to come over every Saturday. And Meg's like, it's fucking summer's over. We got to do something about

this. Make it hot. Make it so unpleasant that they don't come back. And Kevin's like, yeah, we'll do that. Boil them out. Wait, let's boil them like

lobsters. Wait, you guys, he had invited or you went to Gavin's pool and it was warmer in the pool than it was outside no no no Andrew it was the same temperature in the pool as it was outside of the pool so when you stood perfectly still

inside the pool it did not feel like there was any water anywhere it was just 94 degrees across your entire body no matter how deep or shallow you were in the pool oh we got we uh i just was stood in there with you and your small wife and i just i was just like look i've never been a good host i apologize i'm not good at this some people have it i't have it. I don't know what I'm doing. It was legitimately the funniest way to cap off summer that was so relentlessly hot to be like,

ah, let's cool off in this pool. And it's walking in and going, what the fuck? You were mad. You were pretty mad about it. It was so, like, it was, I mean, really mean really i was sort of i was just flummoxed like i've never it's just never been so hot out and and then you get in a pool that is equally hot as outside it was incredible i've never done anything like that it was really stunning thank you for the new experience gav I've learned from my mistakes

moving on all jokes aside even at 94 degrees it is a joy to get to spend a Saturday with you in or out of a pool it doesn't matter where I am we listened to the playlist of 98 a lot that was a good one

oh man hey I have a question for you guys I was talking to my video game, we did. Nice. That was good. Oh, man. Hey, I have a question for you guys. I was talking to my, you know, my video game buddies. I was talking, we were trucking last night, and we're up in Alaska now. We're going to talk about that. We're going up to Pedro Bay. We were running, fuck, we were running some long pipes up to Pedro Bay.

I had, Burndog had one of these, had an eight wheel. Oh, my God. It was an eight slaughter. It's the biggest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. Anyway, uh, we got to talking and, they were sharing stories about hallucinating like times they've hallucinated in their life

from being ill or, uh, you know, and I got to thinking, I don't think I've ever hallucinated at all. Like, I can't remember a single time in my life where I was, I was ever in a situation where I hallucinated.

Have you guys ever actually hallucinated and saw things that weren't there? I have once. Really? Yeah, I think I had heat stroke or something. I was on a holiday and I was just feeling a bit in the sun too long and I went in to throw up and I went into the villa and I opened the toilet

seat and a bottle of ketchup fell out of the toilet onto the floor. I was like, Jesus! And then I was like, oh, there's no ketchup. Even your hallucinations are boring. I know. I don't know why I told that. Yeah, that's shite, isn't it? What kind of ketchup was it?

Just like a bog-standard squirt bottle of Heinz ketchup. Why? Have you just had french fries or something? No! And I didn't even like ketchup then. Oh my god! Your idle mind was thinking of ketchup. That's really weird.

Oh man. How about anyone else? Yeah, how about the rest of you? I've had, like, has anyone here experienced exploding ear syndrome? Like, I feel like that's maybe the closest I've had to, like, that. What? You just made me spit out all over my fucking keyboard. Oh, my, what?

I have regulation ears, but exploding ears, it's like a thing where when you're, like, coming, you're waking up or like falling asleep, where my ears sounds like a bomb is going off. Like it's a sound that doesn't actually exist, but like it ramps up in speed or in effect, I guess. Yeah. I feel like I've had that with like white noise. No, I've had that sometimes.

You think that you think you hear a bang. You think that something has happened. You hear it ramp up and then you hear it. And then it's like, oh, I guess something is wrong with my brain. And then you go to sleep. Yeah. Yeah. It's like it throttles almost like it increases and spikes.

Yeah. Is it kind of like when you're falling asleep at night? If you're like half asleep, sometimes you can hear people talking, but you can't make out what they're saying. You can just kind of talk. I don't have that. You can just kind of hear them talk. I don't have that. You guys don't have that? I think that might be a brain disorder. You got your AirPods in there?

Yeah, you all right? No, you've never heard that before? Sometimes it's y'all. Sometimes I can hear you guys talking. Voices? You're saying you hear voices when you go to bed? Yeah, I can tell. Gavin and Andrew specifically, I can hear Gavin and Andrew.

When I'm half asleep in my pillow sometimes, and I'm like, you know you're about bed? Yeah, like I can tell, like Gavin and Andrew specifically, I can hear Gavin and Andrew like, when I'm like half asleep on my pillow sometimes and I'm like, yeah, you're like, you know you're about to fall asleep but you're not totally asleep and you're just kind of like relaxing into sleep.

I can hear like in the background real quietly, like just people talking and I think like, if I try to pay attention to what they're saying, I'll wake up and then I won't be able

to go back to sleep so I'll just go to sleep. I don't know. I've never had that. I mean, I've had, I've like listened to stuff and then suddenly like the voices i'm listening to get all peaceful and i feel like if i try and listen i won't fall asleep but that's because i'm actually putting shit in my ears though yeah no i don't my

brain doesn't make it up what i can't i don't think you have to go to a doctor. What are you talking about? Surely that's happened to y'all. No. No. No. All right. Well, listen, I don't know. I've never talked about it with her.

You don't keep it that way, bud. I don't think I've maybe talked about it until now. Is she one of the voices? No. It's either people I don't recognize or it's in my life I can remember distinctly Gavin, Andrew,

Bernie Burns. That's a particularly annoying one. I think I've heard Gus. People I know. A lot of people I know and then sometimes people I don't know. So you've always had this and then after you met me like one of your voices was British yeah

yeah yeah I guess so that's interesting what I wonder if like are you sleeping and you don't realize it maybe but it happens you know a couple times because I had one time where I my dream talking about boring dreams I was laying in bed my hand was off the bed and it felt like somebody fist bumped me but nobody

was there and it woke me up it was jarring it was a general ghost situation like eric eric say gentle whisper goes this is a gentle fist bump ghost but i woke up i was like who the fuck fist bumped me nobody's in this room what is going then just realizing, oh, that was just a shit dream where I like felt the thing. None of that happened. So this could be maybe you're just having shit dreams of people talking. Can you hear what they're saying? Or is it like just whispers that are? I feel like if I really focused, maybe I could make it out.

But you'd never want to because you just want to go to sleep. But it's comforting. Like, it's really comforting. I don't mind it. It's a nice background noise. It's weird that my voice making you feel comfortable. The story is making me feel uncomfortable. Yeah, same. I'm

looking it up and I'm finding reasons you might hear voices at night. Lack of sleep, high temperature, stress, grief, mental illness, hunger. I bet you're just hungry. I don't think I'm hungry, but I think all the others apply. I think it's hot where you are, and you have mental illness.

And grief. Well, maybe the comment leavers will back me up. Maybe I'm not the only one. I really thought that that was a common thing. That's interesting. That's crazy. We should wrap this one up. That's a real cliffhanger.

What are your hallucinogenics, Eric? Wait, what? Mine are all from Mine are all from like Mushrooms Drugs So like They're not They're not hearing things

Before I go to sleep Drugs Yeah Yeah I don't think I've I don't think I've ever Hallucinated on drugs either though Really?

What? I don't think so No acid or mushrooms or anything? Well I mean you know I was a teenager once I've experimented in a I mean I don't mind talking about it it's just you know you kind of like I accidentally did angel dust once

what what I don't think I hallucinated there either although I was fucked up what is that what think I hallucinated there either, although I was fucked up. What is that? What? I guess it's PCP. It is. It's PCP. I thought it was two

no longer continued flavors of Kool-Aid that you accidentally mixed together. Alright, anyway, thanks for listening to F*** Face. Yeah, well, this was been when I was 23 or so and on tour with a band. And I accidentally did it. Yeah.

I thought I smoked pot and it was laced with. Yeah, that's about, I know so many people that have had that happen to them. Yeah. But I don't think I hallucinated then either. Also, don't do drugs. Kids, don't do drugs. Eric and I did drugs in our teens, so you don't think I hallucinated then either. Also, don't do drugs. Kids, don't do drugs. Eric and I did drugs in our teens, so you don't have to.

Learn from our mistakes. No, no, no. Don't listen to him. Don't do drugs. And Millie, don't listen to this podcast. You don't have to worry about that. That's long gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A hundred percent. All right. Now we should wrap this one up. All right. Let's go ahead and cut all the Jeff did drugs once talk, and we'll see you next week for episode 177. Be sure to check out all of our other fine productions. We've got a break show.

We've got supplemental content just about every goddamn week. We've got video gameplay twice a week, once behind a paywall, once for free. Go to facepod.com slash first. That's where you can sign up and support this show directly. People are like, oh, how do I do that? You sign up there and then you go watch and listen to our stuff on the site. That is how that happens. That's how that works.

Support us directly that way. Yeah, do what you say. How is that us directly? How do you mean? It's our link. That is how the money is allocated to us. It's through signups through that link. And if you're already a first member,

like once you sign up, then watching and listening to our stuff through the first RSS feed or on the site that is F*** Face Stuff or Let's Play Stuff, that gets attributed to us. So that is how you support us directly. And by the way,

you have been supporting us directly and we really appreciate it. If you're just listening to the podcast, you're supporting us directly and it really appreciated if you're just listening to the podcast you're supporting us directly thank you thank you yeah but we we really really really do appreciate it and you guys have been supporting the shit out of us yeah cannot thank you enough amazing that's why we can say no to things okay we'll see you next time hey guys major league fan jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Let's talk writing utensils. Andrew's chair put him in the Matrix. The gang went to Sloppy Joe's.

Let's talk Key West. Gavin takes a spill. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face. We'll see you next time.