F**kface - Traumatizing History of Birds // Things to Hate About Europe [122]

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about Mick Nick, Mueller, REI, Iceland, Whole Foods, bird murder, recording days, Break Show, back in the dog hole, first day at the airport percent, escalators, degloving, observation point, Kraftwerk, pointless questions, Ya Dead Ya Bodyguard stream, Alien Fireteam Elite 2, monkey mask watch, Ryse Son of Rome, standard mo, Oddworld, cables, ethical numbers, proof of life, Disney, ghost cookout, and Flatliners. Ya Dead Ya Bodyguard stream LIVE on Friday the 11th at noon CT on http://twitch.tv/theregulationpod Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When West Jet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. Hello and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast. This is episode 122.

My name is Jeff Ramsey with me, as always, Andrew Patton, Gavin Free, Nick Schwartz, Eric Padour. Hello, boys. Hello. Mick Schwartz. What? Oh, Mick. Oh, Mick Schwartz. You called me M.

Yeah, why was he M? He wasn't M. He was N. He was N. He was M because he misheard Eric or Nick. What did I do? He missed her Gavin and then it turned into the whole thing. People were going for initials. the meeting and I said N and then he said why'd you call me M so now I'm gonna call him Mick

no you said M and who the fuck would ever call him in because his name is Nick and so then we made it a whole joke about how Gavin has been calling him Mick this whole time can we do an NM check right now could you get could you give us one of each Gavin in whatever order you feel and just listen Ooh okay you ready yeah yeah yeah and m oh very different very distinction okay yeah yeah you know what could you say Mick and Nick real fast in whatever order you choose Nick Mick Mick Yeah, very, that's very clearly different. Pretty clearly different. But it would be funny if you could quickly go back

and just change all of the Knicks to Micks from the previous 400 episodes. Oh, like you Lucaset. You could George Lucas it. It's how it was always intended. Special edition. Yeah, we get rid of all the old episodes and re-release the old episodes with the Mick,

the Mick edit. We were saying, oh, Gavin thinks his name's Mick. That's funny. And then I said, oh, did you, Nick, did you ever tell Gavin the story? about when you saw him at the store. And I don't know.

I thought that you had heard it, but maybe you hadn't. Nick, do you want to tell Gavin about when you saw him at the store? Well, I think we talked about one time that Gavin and I bumped into each other at Mueller, just in passing, randomly. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I was like, I didn't want to bother him too much. And you guys were like, why, you work together. Your business partners, you own a company together. Well, that was before we were business partners. That was back when we worked for the old company. Oh, okay. But, you know, and I, Also wasn't talking yet, I don't think on the show.

So, but doesn't mean you're not allowed to talk off the show. Yeah, you just walked past me with eyebrows moving and like shrugging and gestures, but didn't say anything. No, I was like, hey, man, hey. Yeah. And then Gavin's like, I saw Nick, you didn't have the mask on today, guys. Don't worry. Yeah.

You were moseying towards where Nando's eventually would be, but it wasn't there yet. No, but many years before that, Gavin, when I started working at RT, I was at REI with my wife one day. and we were walking around just looking for, I think we were going hiking. In Alaska, we were looking for bags. And I saw you and Meg, and you saw us, and we both kind of just stared at each other.

And I don't think we even acknowledge one another, but we do, we both knew, and then we just kind of both went past it. Are you sure it was me? Yes, Gavin, it was definitely you. Okay, I have a follow-up question. What's REI? I'm so, I was sitting here thinking, I bet Gavin's never fucking heard of REI.

REI is a camping store. Yeah, it's a camping store. You know, outdoor gear stuff. I have a new follow-up question. What would I be doing in R.E.I? Does Meg like that stuff? I don't think so. Maybe you needed like a cold weather jacket or some, I don't know, some gloves or...

They sell shoes? The doppelganger angle is tough when it's two of you. It's highly unlikely. double double ganger. That is true. Also, you were talking in a British accent, so I assumed it as you still. Oh, so you were close enough to hear him? You saw him and you were listening to him, but you were like, I better not speak to him?

Oh, we looked at each other and we walked past, but we were both in our own conversations with prior to them being our wives at the time. Oh, this is so much worse. Why? You were close enough to, what was I saying? List all the words I said. I don't know if we can buy that That was just like him

Yeah I nailed it This is a story that I think It sounded like it was just an awkward Nick thing And now Gavin it seems like it's equally awkward for you It was awkward for both I just don't I remember seeing you in Mueller I don't remember even You don't remember seeing him at a story you've never heard of

That you don't think you've ever been to Yeah Did you two do like an acknowledgement of each of other was there like a head nod or like what was when you you both witnessed each other in passing? I think. Oh, sorry. Just want to get that view button. Did Gavin look like the appropriate age?

Is it possible you caught wind of a time traveling Gavin? Oh, it's possible. Maybe I time traveled in the moment or something. But, uh, maybe I hadn't met you yet. I, maybe not. I mean, I was probably still relatively new to RT. I hadn't gone on my honeymoon yet and I just got married that year. so.

Did the show exist at this point? No, no, no, no. We would have worked on RT podcast and that's it at that point. That seems less bad. I did go to Iceland in like 2018. Maybe I was shopping for that. In 2016? Oh.

And he was getting really prepared. This was 10 years ago. Oh my God, it was 10 years ago. That's why I've been before I forgot about hanging out with Andrew at PINPOOTH. I was probably, No, no, that would have been prior. How prior? Probably like two years, two, three years?

Maybe you have a memory black hole of two to three years, Gavin, where you just don't remember anything you did. Yeah, it's very positive. Nick's REI meeting fell in. I mean, you don't remember so much. You don't remember ever going to that store. That's true. Wow.

Yeah. Wow. A memory black hole. Should we see how far back there CCTV goes? Yes, we should. So you don't know what day, you, Nick kind of remembers what year and then you go, hey, do you have me on your cameras from 10 years ago? Well, no. If we're tapes from 2016.

If we both go in, we could just say, search, can you search all the footage for both of us being in here? Who is searching? Who at REI? What are you talking about? What not? What if we, what if we, as a supplemental, take Gavin to REI and see if you recognize it. Oh, take me there and then put me where I was. Yeah. Interesting. We can, like, reenacting the meeting, non-meeting.

It's like a sliding door situation. Things could have been so different. I was going to say, I mean, 10 years is a long time, but also that's 10 mall years. I feel like nothing really changes in a mall. It's probably the same. Was it in a mall? No, it's a, well, like a strip mall, maybe, but not like a mall mall. Oh, I wasn't.

In my head, for whatever reason, I imagine that this was a store in a mall. Nah, it's a standalone store. It's next to Whole Foods, Gavin. Maybe you were getting lunch. That's true. Gavin, were you getting lunch? Did you eat lunch in 2016? I think I've had lunch in that year.

I don't think I'd go to Whole Foods with Meg, though, because I think she was traumatized by a bird murder. What? Oh, what? I think she watched a bunch of birds, like brutally murder another bird. Oh, my God. You can't hold that against Whole Foods.

That's just... Yeah. What? They didn't green light the bird? I think... No. I think Holtrudes may put the head out on the bird. I'm not sure.

We need to look at the tapes from 10 years ago. Well, there's also, there's a book people and an anthropology in that building in that parking lot. So, could have been either of those buildings. Oh, different. What RIEI are you going to? Different one with a different Whole Foods? Yes. It is by another Whole Foods.

Interestingly enough. Yeah, they're both next one. Like way up. North? Yeah. Like by the best buy. Yeah, by the best buy. Jeff, it's by the best by. Yeah. Now I'm starting to doubt Nick.

No, Darberwark. South of it. I'm on everything. Yeah, I know where it is. Oh, weird. That sounds like it. No, it's because I know where it is that it doesn't sound like Gavin would be hanging out there. I guess I never thought about birds murdering other birds in that way.

Oh, yeah, they're brutal. Did you never see the footage of the of the duck that had too many ducklings, so it just killed one. No, I don't want to see that. Oh, what? Yeah, it was like, it traumatized me as a kid. It was like sub-nature program. There's a bunch of ducks, and there's like a, it's like a gammy duckling or something, or it's too slow.

So they keep up to wait for it. And then eventually, like, the dad duck just goes over to it and just like pecks it to death. And they just just float in there, and they just swim on. You've a traumatizing history of birds. But yeah, dude. I know some of you guys have. siblings, right? But not like a whole flock of siblings. Let's say you had like seven or let's say we all had like seven or eight siblings. And we lived in a society where

your parents could kill the weakest one. Do you think you'd make the cut? Oh, I'd be the gammy one. I mean, you're definitely the gamy one in your family now. But I mean, you're not making the cut today for sure. But if you had three or four more brothers and sisters, maybe. That's a shame there. How many siblings makes a flock? I'd say like five. What's a... How many's a flock? That felt right. Five to six, right?

Including you or not including you? So are we talking to like six kids or five kids? Oh, bullshit. A flock is technically any group of two or more birds gathered together. Stupid. Oh, so we've like flocked to work a bunch. Gathering, I used to flock to work every day. Yeah.

Now flock sucks. I don't know why that didn't cross my mind at all when we were talking about. Oh, Jesus. So Meg doesn't go to Whole Foods anymore because she saw a bird murder? I don't know if she doesn't go altogether, but she definitely doesn't eat there. Wow. Do you know what type of birds were involved? Oh.

Let me text her and ask her if she remembers the birds. Can you ask her if she remembers taking you to R-E-I? What bird? Yeah, that's more important. Bird'll be a grackle. What, uh, ask her if she took you to REI in 2016. And yeah, ask her that. You take me to R.E.I.

In 2016. While he, while he's waiting to get that, uh, info back from Meg, uh, we're recording today on an odd time. We're recording on a Monday because of scheduling stuff. We just recorded the previous episode, 121 on a Friday. And not a lot of time for life to happen in between. And mercifully for me, no life. happened, it was pretty quiet. Because when life happens for me, it's never, very rarely is it a good thing.

But what the fuck was I going with this? Awesome. I remember now. But that got me thinking, do you think we've recorded on every day of the week? A podcast? Like not Saturday and Sunday, obviously. Those are not work days, but Monday through Friday. Do you think we've recorded at least one podcast on everyone those days?

I think so. Definitely. I can't remember ever recording on a Tuesday, but we must have. A Tuesday. We must have. Well, we can look at our files. It's true. We can go back and look for a Tuesday recording.

I've just been deleting those. I know you have. Yeah. I just get in there and I just kind of look at some old ones and I go, we don't need these anymore. No. Except for all the times Nick asked for, hey, do you have this whole file? Yeah, but who needs that? Well.

Nick? Apparently. Nick, I guess. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I don't know. One of the five of us, that doesn't seem very important. Feels weird to record on a Monday.

And I thought, I wonder if this is the first time. But it's probably not. We've probably been doing it. I don't think it is. I think at RT, I think we've recorded a couple of Monday ones just because of scheduling and stuff. That makes sense. I like it. I do too.

Yeah. I wouldn't say I dislike it. Yeah. Let's do it every week. Feels different. That's all. Yeah. Why do you want to do it every week?

I'd trade a Thursday for a Monday. Oh, shit. I mean, we can. Is that something you want? What do you ever get? It's Thursdays, Andrew? I just, I like, uh, starting the week off getting the podcast. Cord did.

Do it. And then when does it come out? Wednesdays. Right. Are you saying that the episode we record like Monday comes out two days later? No. Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay with that.

Okay. All right. Well, we'll leave it up to Jeff. Jeff, does the, if we record an episode on Monday, does it come out on Wednesday? It could. It just depends on if Nick is a fast editor or not. Yeah. Don't you edit it on Mondays anyway? Yeah, in the morning.

Oh, well, there you go. Why'd you at the break show then? Oh, my kid gets out of school during the break show. Yeah. He's got family stuff. I thought you were just editing the podcast. I was back in the day before he had school. Now he goes to school.

All right. Have we recorded on all day's note is good? I can delete that. Yeah, he gets a rural... gold stuff out of that one, man. Yeah, man. That's all I'm, I got not a lot. I got not a lot here.

There's not a lot happened between Friday and Monday. I'm out of a D-hole. What? I'm out of the D-hole. Out of the D-hole. Out of the D-hole. What's a D-hole?

Hot dog. Dog hole. Oh. You're back in the dog? I'm back. I'm back in the dog game. So first dog since this, since the foot-long dog?

First dog since the dog had six dogs in the past like 10 days. You're fucking Slamino. What the fuck? Is it all from the same place? Or did you make it at home? Yeah, same place. Yeah, were they all from Subway? They're all from New York Fries. Which is a Canadian chain. Did you order all six at once and just slowly eat them?

No. Oh. No, multiple orders across multiple days. So how long was the gap then between the few months? Probably. The footlong dog and then... Essentially the summer, I would say. So you had to take the summer off of dogs. I had to take the summer off of dogs. What kind of dog was it?

Just a plane with ketchup. Just a basic ass dog. Okay. That's so, it's so interesting. I'm totally back on dogs too, Andrew. Really? You've been having a dog life? I just had, yesterday, Emily and I went to a new hot dog restaurant in Austin and loved it.

And I had a Chicago dog there and I want to go back again today. Nice. I don't want a time, but. A place called High Road. Check it out if you get a chance on Fifth Street. It's like a deli. High Road. Bar or a hot dog place.

And it was a hot dog? All right, that one's good. Well, I'm burning through these notes. Did it, I just sent a picture of the High Road hot dog. Is it like that? Hold on, I'm looking. Okay. No, that's not what mine was.

I had a Chicago dog. Ah. The one above is a New York fries dog that you posted, right? It is. I put a classic, delicious bun. I'd say the best hot dog in town. Not that there's a lot of competition. High Road is owned by the same people that do Cavalier.

It's like there's. Oh, cool. So did it look like that, Jeff? Closer to that, yeah. Cool. Cool. What is a cavalier? What?

What is a cavalier? A type of dog. Oh, so the cavaliers are dogs? Oh, like you're talking about the... As a noun, it's like a soldier. Yeah, right? The Cleveland soldier. Like a mounted...

It's like a horseman, right? Yeah, like some sort of all horsemen, yeah. Because the Browns are also a dog team, so I thought Cleveland just has a dog team thing when you said dogs. That made sense to me. If we would have just left it there, I would have been totally fine with it. What kind of dog is the Brown's dog?

It's like a bulldog, isn't it? Yeah. Is it? Yeah, they're the dog pound. Spelled with an A. Right, but I didn't consider that. A lot of dogs at the pound. I didn't.

I didn't consider them bulldogs. I guess I never thought about what kind of dog they are. Yeah, I don't know. They look like a bulldog. Here's their mascot. His name is Choms? Choms? Yeah.

Oh, that's not what I was thinking of as a dog. Is that really their mascot? Yeah, his name is chombs. Well, what am I thinking of? Oh, so you like wrong dogged? I think I wrong dogged. He's a bull mastiff. You deadbreeded that dog.

That was not cool. Dog. Jesus. What's dead breed? Just a fucking joke, man. I don't, oh. You know how like when somebody transitions and you, and callous people dead name them?

I was just making it dead. Never mind. I'll fucking, I'll write it out for you later. I just thought that was a real thing It was like oh once a breeds God You can't breed it again Well I mean that seems like it would be a thing That's like that's how extinction works right

Yeah they already have a name for that It's like yeah you could try to do like dinosaurs What the fuck did you just send? That's the mask I always picture What that's insane that's some Ardman Productions as football thing That does not read Albert to me That's for sure

Did that dog look straight into the arc of the cover? For people just listening, it is a dog with bulbous eyes in a rubbery mask with a baseball helmet on. He's got, what is that wet macular degeneration or whatever? It makes your eyes bold. He looks like he would hang out with the California raisins. If you could, he does look like he's part of the California Raising curve. If you could make any behavioral thing extinct in people, what would, would you make extinct?

Behavioral thing. Yeah. Like, you know, like the species of thing, like a thing that a person does. Things that people do. Having it be your first day on the fucking planet when you're at the airport. Or anywhere.

Yeah. God. Some people, it is their first day at the airport. That's a good point. Does it feel like the people that you look at them and you're like, God damn, is it your first day at the fucking airport? do you feel like all of those people?

What if you have to wear like an L plate? Like you've just posted driving. Yeah, I was going to say what it like when you go in for your tickets, they like tape you. They like tape your backs. If you get mad, you go, oh, this is the, no, this is their first day. First day on Earth, idiot over here. This first day at the airport is pretty intimidating. It can be.

It can be, but it can't possibly be that many people's first day at the airport. Exactly. 100%. There's no fucking shot. It can't be 80% of, the airport's traffic can't be their first day at the airport. What's the percent first day at the airport percent? Yeah, I wonder like if there's ever a day where there are more airport virgins than the day the airport opened. Why would it be when the airport opened? Well, I assume

if an airport opens in a city, you might have an influx of people who have never been to an airport. Is that how that works? Well, I don't know. No, I think it makes sense. What are you saying? Well, like, surely there was a time where no one had been to an airport and then they were like, oh, now Austin has an airport. And a bunch of people were like, oh, shit. It probably makes sense in the 1930s and the 1940s before we built out infrastructure and every major city in America. Yeah.

It's sort of reminiscent of I was thinking about, I don't think that there are any escalators in my town anymore. Like the ones that I could think of have all been shut down. They're part of mall stores and the mall store closed down. I was trying to think about like, is there a single escalator where I live? I don't think there is. And then so I googled it. I found a Reddit thread.

I don't think there is, Kevin. And you don't know his escalator set up. And the thread was talking about when the first escalator came into town. And like the 80s, people were so pumped that they were just like going to the store to just be like, oh, escalating. Ooh, look at this. Wait, the 1980s? 80s, I don't know. I don't remember what it was.

The point is when the city got its first public escalator, people were very excited about it and went to go down. do it. So I'm tying it into your point of if they got their first airport. There would definitely be people that would just be like, ooh, airport. He's on your side, Gavin. I fucking Googled this. There are no public escalators currently located in the city of the NYMA. Absolutely. What the fuck? What? We had two that I could think of. I got trapped in one of them. In one? Yeah, when I was a kid, I got my rubber boots. I was, uh, I may have. You can like, die. Yeah, you're lucky.

didn't get gumbed up. Yeah, I was maybe, maybe gliding my boot a little bit on the side of it, and it got trapped between the, the, like, edge of the escalate, like I got my foot stuck

in the escalators going down. It was very scary. I had to get ripped out of the boots, and then it was a whole thing. I told you guys about the time I de-gloved two fingers. Oh, God's sake. What?

Oh, I haven't heard about that, but boy, I don't want to. Yeah, I was like eight. Oh! And I got my fingers stuck in the rubber on the, handrail. I didn't know it and it sucked my hand into the escalator.

My mom kept walking. She went out the mall. It was only in Mays and I had to like yank my hand out and it just like shredded the two fingers. It was horrible. Yeah. Similar to Andrew's experience. Yeah, I got lucky. I didn't get I had a lot of things try to crush me as a child,

but I avoided. I avoided it. Well, you have that unbreakable nose too. Escalator is bad. But yeah, we don't have any escalators. It's a small like community. Wait, so you have four malls all in a line, but no Escaliers. But there's shit malls for the most part. We've got one real mall, I'd say. So what are people doing in them? Just stairs? Lifts? Yeah, stairs. There's not, uh, there,

we really don't have too many public two-story buildings here. Yeah, I read that. I think there's two elevators in the NIMA from what I was reading, maybe. So it's not a big upstairs place. Yeah, one of the stores that had, um, had an escalator also had an elevator, obviously. That was exciting times. So if we did like a fund and we put together a bunch of money, and we raise enough money to build an escalator for Nanaimo. Do you think they would want it? I don't think people would care at this point, unfortunately. We've had them.

Where would it go? And who's maintaining it? That is it interesting. Yeah, like we can raise the funds for it. It could be like those stairs to heaven in China that people go take their picture at. You could have the escalator up and then you do a little platform and then you stand and take a picture at the top of the escalator and the Nainmo's only escalator and then you just ride back down. I think it would just be the Simpsons joke, the escalator to nowhere. Where?

Yeah, that's why it was like, hold on a second. What if that was just a pole? A pole at the top. What? Oh, and you could slide down. So it's like, yeah. It's like a event, like a ride type thing. Yeah.

I just saw a video about a store in Japan that's like a climbing store and you can't, you have to climb like a rock thing to get into it. There's no other way to access it as a consumer. We don't have that. There's nothing that is like lacking entrance. That'd be more accessible via S. Yeah, Claire. Where is this staircase that goes nowhere?

In China. I was not telling you about the white staircase. And they've got like some fake stairs so you can't get higher? I don't know. It's like four flat ones like right above their head. They have no way that far. But what do you do? Like you just go up there?

Go up there and take a picture. What do you do at any observation point on Earth? You observe. Oh, I guess I just didn't consider it an observation point. He's considered it stairs. Yeah, no, it's just like. It's an observation point over the side of a cliff or something in China. Well, maybe if we put the escalator in Nanaimo, we'll have it leave nowhere at first and then see if anyone there wants to build the upstairs.

There you go. Like, we've started with the escalator. Now it's up for you, Nanaimo, to build the next part. Yeah. You can't. Are this step one? Yeah. I guess.

I mean, they're probably both functional. One was in a Sears building that's been shut down. for like over a decade. And then the other one was the bay, which recently shut down within the last few years. So there's probably no one on the NIMO who knows how to fix an escalator for breaks anymore. The last guy who was doing it lost his job. He had to move mainland, I would imagine, in search of other escalators. Is there, I never thought about, is there like somebody who specifically fixes escalators and only escalators? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, of course. That applies to probably every public infrastructure.

See, in my head, the escalator guy is the same as the elevator guy. They would be doing both. I think those are pretty different businesses, I would think. Is there a company that makes both? Oh. Like, does Otis make an escalator? Who's Otis? They make lifts, don't they?

And like, Schindler and stuff? In Dead Rising. Who's Schindler? Schindler's lifts. Shindler's lips You've never been in a shindler? Was this all just Was this just a long walk for you for that joke?

No, he's being funny and serious. There is a company called Shindler that makes elevators. You guys have ridden it, I guarantee you've seen him. Yeah. But it was also a funny, happy joke that he fell into. Otis is probably the one. They make escalators and elevators, Kevin.

Oh, so there's probably some Otis dudes who are We were both. When West Jet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to WestJetting since 96.

Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. I think if you're going to try to make an attraction in the Nima, that is in this realm, the airport-style escalators that are just flat and speed you up would be a lot more excitement. That's not an escalia. I mean, they're kind of the similar idea. What, what do you call it like an accelerator? Like, what would you call it? People mover.

What was it called on a gladiators? It was like a travelator. But it was pointed up. Well, if it's a travelator pointed up, it's an escalator. Yeah, it was called it a traveler. Gladiator's traveler. It is, in my experience, don't argue with him when he thinks of a dumb name and says it's real. It's going to be real.

100% was called a travelator and you'll hear about it for the rest of your fucking life. If you say he's wrong. Are you talking about American gladiators or was there like a European gladiators? It's just called gladiators. What is gladiators? It's the same idea. It's the same as American gladiates, but not in America. They just didn't feel the need to put their country's name in front of it.

They didn't call it British gladiators? Yeah. They didn't. It was just the first one, I think. Your country is dog shit of branding. You started Gladiators? Well, I assume so. If you're what is called American Gladiators. Why? I don't know. I think that logic makes sense. It just feels like such an American idea.

They also start everything. And that was based on the American Gladiator show. They just called it Gladiators. Even fucking Three's company started in England. It's like there's all. Everything started in England. Not American Gladiators. Wow. That started in American.

Dude, I don't know about, I don't know about these. Oh, you got Wolf. You got Wolfman out of the front. That guy is a legend. Is Wolfman the one on the right? Yeah, he was so mean, and he would, like, shove people and, like, yell at him, and then he never smiled until the final episode. It's like a shredded Ronnie James Dia.

This is, it does look like a shredded. It looks, he looks like a rainbow in the dark for sure. This is. I don't know if it actually did start in England, but gladiators in the UK was absolutely huge. They had like arenas sold out. It was mental. It looks like it started in...

Somebody look up American gladiators and when it debuted. Okay. I would watch a show where they got all the gladiators from all the regions and had like a gladiator off. I don't want to see normal people against gladiators. 1989.

It looks like this one, the British one, The earliest, earliest recommendation, our earliest reference I see to it is 94. So, yeah. Take that, England. Fuck you, England. Get him. Yeah, get me. I'm against Europe, so I'm all for this.

Let's go America. It looks like, hold on a second. You said a buff Ronnie James Dia? Yeah. This is what I see. Oh, it doesn't. like buff Kenny G. Bough fucking Kenny G, dude.

I guess that's what you can expect from European Gladiators. Buff Kenny G. He hits you with an oboe. Kenny G is awesome. I don't know if it's awesome. I think it is. That's cool. These were your heroes growing up, you said, Gavin?

Oh, big time. Especially wolf. That's the one you remember. I googled Travelier and it auto-corrected how fast is the travelerer on gladiators. How fast is it? I don't know. I just clicked the image. What?

I just tried to paste an image, but it's like a fake image. So you yelled? Well, I was doing a dragon drop and it didn't work, and it made me yell a bit. Travel here. So that's, I mean, like, that's an escalator, right? Without steps? Yeah, flat escalator, yeah. It's just a, yeah, it's an escalator because it's going up.

Like, if it was flat, people move her. Well, no, it's going down. You'll go it up. Yeah, escalators, escalators do that too. What do you mean? What the fuck do you mean? Escalators go down as well. Yeah, but you don't go up the down one.

You can, which is what they're doing. Here, you don'ts. Are you new? What is this? I've never seen two people agree while arguing to such a degree. Oh, are they selling one? Can you just buy one? What is this?

Whoa! No, that's just like a ramp, I think. That's a ramp. Maybe I am new at this whole, this whole thing. It's just a giant stare machine is all it is. European excellence. Maybe we should do a draft of things to hate about Europe, just so I can see Eric's list. Oh, God. Oh, God, I would know.

I would love to see Eric's list. I don't want to be, I don't know. Yeah. What? What are you afraid of? I don't know. I kind of like, I like most people. I don't want to shit on Europe.

I like Europe. I like it. And you're not saying you don't like it. It's things you dislike about it. You can love something while having things you dislike about it. I would drop the new lids on bottles that when I try and drink out of them, it hits me in the nose and I can't drink it right. Oh, yeah, that's right. And then sometimes you try and pour it into your mouth and then the lid swings around under the hole and it sprays.

all over your beard. Wait, what? What is this? Is not wrong. Nick, are you okay? What? No, what? It just feels so weird right now

when America's at an all-time low and we're just the dirt worst to be shitting on any other country on Earth right now. That's your problem. I agree. It is my problem. Unfortunately, but unfortunately it's also the whole fucking world's problem.

Yeah, it's super. My problem too for some reason. Yeah. No, I get it. Listen, I understand. My point is that you can still love something. You're not saying you dislike Europe. It's just things you dislike about the place. I just don't know if I can. I'll do my best. I'll come up with four things I don't like about Europe. Okay. I didn't like Hitler. I thought that was wrong. I was against all that. Yeah. That's what you dislike about Europe? That's a phenomenal first pick. If you didn't drop that first. Yeah.

Followed by Mussolini. Real against Mussolini. Yeah. I beg you there's plenty of music you don't like from there. I think family feud answers is my number one. I don't like Spandau Ballet. What? Hang on. I'm kidding.

I'm fine. It was just the most, it was just the most European name I could think of. I don't like, I don't like fucking craftwork. Come on. You like craft work. I do not. You don't like craft work? No.

Not even a little bit? Not even the tiniest amount. Not even the smallest baby amount. I heard they were innovators of all music or something. Craft work pretty incredible. You can innovate all day long and still suck. Guess what? We've done some innovating ourselves.

I wouldn't say we're good at it. I wouldn't call us the craft work. Yeah, fair point. Never mind. Did that get another note off the board for you there, Jeff? No, no, no. Those were Andrew's notes, not mine. Oh, okay.

I don't have my notes. We only got to air. What would you remove, Jeff? From my notes? The extinction. No, the extinction question. From Europe? I told you.

I gave you a full bunch. I gave you craft work. I gave you Hitler. No, that's not. That's what you would remove from human behavior? Oh, human behavior. You would remove craft work?

I would remove, sorry, I was on, I was still on the other thing. What would I remove from human behavior? I would remove the desire to ask pointless questions. Oh, then if we don't have a podcast. I don't know if you should do that. You need to be careful. You made a whole career out of that, buddy.

You need to be careful. I don't even know what that means. There's a point to every question I ask. Well, how do you define a pointless question? That was one. He's got you there. I don't think so. I think we'd have to take it to committee.

Oh. What type of authoritarian fucking government that are you running? Where the question of what is the pointless question is ruled pointless? Not allowed. Can't ask. Can't you can't ask that. I don't think you can ask it.

I just think it's a pointless question. Why is it a pointless question? How is that not a pointless question? I don't understand. You've pretzled me. Oh, it's been a well since you are prezzled. It has been, but I am pretzled. On attitude, I'm just trying to figure out what is and isn't a good question.

He wants to make sure all of his questions at that point, so he needs this. Yeah, I'm trying to understand the barriers here. You put bumpers up and I don't want to hit him. Why don't we make it like a data collection experience where every, every week we'll have the audience point out the most pointless question of the podcast. Oh boy, I don't know. I don't know if that's I don't know man. That's gonna go poorly for some of us.

Go poorly for all of us. Yeah, and that was a pointless idea. See, I can do it too. I can just say the things you can say it's pointless. I can do it. I can do it. I get it. See, I'd eliminate our ability to do that as humans. I don't know what that is. Well, then don't ask the question. All I can do is give you my answer.

But he wants to know what it is. I thought, no, no, no, I don't need to understand it. I appreciate the answer. What about you got? Like, what am I getting rid of? Yeah, what are you getting rid of? It's weird that I wasn't even thinking of my answer the entire time you've been talking.

Especially when he brought it back up, went back around to Jeff, and it felt like he was going to go to everyone. Yeah, for some reason, I still didn't think it would come back to me. Yeah. It doesn't have to. We can just move on.

Every interaction with someone who works in a store has to be under 30 seconds. Wow. So you're killing small talk? I'm killing me standing in a line of like three people and it takes like 10 minutes and then when I get to the front it takes like five seconds. What were they all doing?

Do you want everybody to be as fast as you are? Yes. Everyone's out there gumming everything up. I agree. Yeah. I mean, I'm with you. Gavin, I'm with you. Everyone is slow. Everyone's fucking stupid. Everyone in the drive-thru. Why does it take the guy in front of me an hour and a half to order a McFlurry?

And then I ordered three meals and I got him immediately. I'm right there with you. I totally, I completely agree with you. I have a bad note. Oh, what's your note? One of my notes just says, I'm really looking forward to 9-11. Come on. Yeah, I know that is.

Yeah, because I... Me too, but Jesus. Yeah, it's just unfortunate, isn't it? Because we got a big old stream planned and I'm really excited about it. But it just happens to me on 9-11, which is in a couple of days, I think. We have a lot to, yeah, it is when this comes out. We have a lot to talk about the, we're doing a big, you dead, your bodyguard stream. For people who don't know, it is an achievement and Halo campaign evolved where you have to beat the campaign without dying.

However, we've been doing it on heart. So this is like regulation style. I guess apparently you get credit per level. Yeah. It doesn't have to be a one shot, but we're doing it one shot style. We're doing the ultimate challenge way. The idea being you have to survive, you have to beat the campaign without dying.

If you die, you become a bodyguard for those who are still alive. We've attempted two videos at this. And we've lost the saves for both of them. So we are committed to a one-shot long stream on September 11th. What time does that stream start? I have it on calendar as noon central time. Noon central time. That will be our big stream of the week.

That is on a Friday, I believe. leave, right? It is, it is. And Robert will be there to Live Switch for us. And are we just playing until 501? Yeah, we're playing until 501 or until everybody becomes bodyguard. Yeah. I'll just reset.

I mean, it's more early. Yeah, if it happens early, we could just restart a few times. Yeah, I think that's probably going to happen, yeah. And then I guess if we're close to winning and it's after 501, we'll probably just keep rolling. Also, don't forget, everybody's going to be coming in fresh and ready because they will have just had their final hook.

Hookie Day of the year on 910. And so we're going to be ready to go because we will be so well rested from playing hookie. I'm going to be locked in. I haven't been able to beat the third level in any of the attempts we've done or the attempts I did before we started recording this. I haven't touched the game since the last time we recorded. I haven't either. I also haven't, but that's just because there's so many other games to play.

It's true. What going on? I've been playing. I have an alien lore question for you guys because I feel like collectively we know a decent amount about the alien movies and whatnot. I've been playing Alien Fire Team Elite and I was it's you know a bunch of enemies like a bunch of the xenomorphs or whatever coming in on you and the the androids the sense coming in and I whipped around I grabbed some ammo I whipped around and for a moment I thought I was being attacked by minions were there minions in the alien universe?

Was this a sequel? Yes this is the alien Fire Team Elite 2 that just came out since the These are synths. These are synth workers. They're scents. Okay. Is that just what they look like? Yeah. Generally.

Yeah. They're in, they're in like a cover. They're in like a cover-all thing, like a protective, like hazmatty suit thing, I think. They were in the first game too,

I believe. I believe so, yeah. Yeah. I didn't play a ton of the first one. So that's maybe why I missed them. I just had never seen them before. And I genuinely had a moment of fucking minions. What?

What is happening? And then? Why are they attacking you in this story? Uh, you are. going into a planet with an evil scientist and they've programmed them to attack you type thing.

Is it the same mechanic as the first one where it's kind of like an extraction shooter sort of where you go in, you go as deep as you want and then get out with your three men team? No, it is like there's clear ends to each of these missions that I've gone through. Go and fight a bunch of things. It's a lot of you go in, you initiate a thing,

you have to hold out, and then you move to the next room and then hold out again. It sounds similar to the old one. Yeah. That was fun. We were gonna, we were gonna play it. We were gonna play it. It was on the calendar, Nick.

And then Snoop Dogg. And then Snoop Dogg. Yes. That went really well. Oh, dude, I can't stop thinking about it. I can't believe you did it. It was a miracle. It seemed like you didn't want to do it.

Yeah, it's hard to tell sometimes when Gavin is doing a bit and when he's just being him. I think that's how I've been doing this career so long. I know. It's hard to... Blurring that line. I feel pretty confident you're bitten it up a little bit at the end, but you were being very, very entertaining in your frustration of just refusing to do things. It's certainly harder with four freaking loud people yelling at you the whole time.

Encouraging you. We're trying to get you to get you to do it, you know? We're supporting you and helping you. Yeah, sorry for supporting you so much, dude. I apologize. Trying to be there for you in your time of need. Mm-hmm. Whoops, sorry.

I feel like I saw it happening in prison escape, Andrew, where it's just the four extra voices with a detriment. Maybe Eric should play something solo. Mm-hmm. Ooh. Did Andrew say, mm-mm, like no? No, I went like, mm-mm, like, interesting.

Oh, I thought you said, mm-mm. It sounded so much like no. Eric's not allowed. It's ended a lot like no, and I'm like, I just kind of want to know why Andrew's a guess. I'm not opposed to it. I'm fine with it, whatever, but I just wanted to know

I didn't want me to play a video game. It does become tricky where you feel like you want to try to be involved in the conversation. Like that was the issue with the prison simulator thing where I just had to come to terms

with I need to lock in a little bit. You guys talk. It's fine. I'll jump in when I can, but almost all of my getting caught was me being like invested in the conversation happening. That's how they get you.

That is how they get you. Your hitman thing was just hilarious. Well, the elusive time. target is like the one game type where you want to take your time, you want to take your story, because you only get one chance. You don't want to mess it up. Every moment's another opportunity.

Like, I could do something solo, but you're talking about locking in. I want to watch Nick play more Last of Us Milt mode or whatever. I want to see him beat that finally. Yeah. Yeah. I'm done with that. October's coming up. Oh, wow, Nick. Spooky season.

Spooky. It's spooky. It's spooky. He's scary. Nick, are you right that you haven't won the mosque yet? Damn, I was really hoping

that no attention would be called to it and that we would just continue to sit under the surface. Damn, it's a value. All right, well,

I am a little worry because I feel like I've kind of trapped myself in a little bit. But who's on duty now? I think it's Jeff. I'm pretty sure it's Jeff now. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's Jeff.

I'm listening. I really wish I hadn't asked. I'm on top of it. Thanks for let me know. I'm on top of it. Oh shit, I fucked myself twice Well, you're eating something He's eating something

Yeah, he's definitely eating something But I do think Jeff is only through the rest of this month And then like the last quarter of the year is Gavin So Gavin's got to be on, right? I was Q4. I'm pretty sure you were Q4, were you not? Oh

I can't think Are you having a laugh? You seem very like what you're like upset that I said that you were Q4 Are you not Q4? I just thought my watch was done No, I thought I thought I thought I'd thought your watch was the ending.

Did you know that your watch started? Did you know that your watch? No. Ray, speak up if you've done a watch. Me. Eric's done a watch.

Andrew's done a watch. So you're in the middle of yours. I thought we were all on the same page. Wait, well, we all just watching Q1? Yeah, I don't know. I'm going to be honest. I don't feel like I've done a watch.

I thought you said that you were doing Q4 so that way it probably got done before Q4. That would be smart. That would make sense. I'm just, I think. I think I'm repeating back to you the things you told me. Yeah, I mean, I don't remember.

I don't even remember being in an REI. Oh, by the way, did she text you back? No. Oh. That's a lot. I felt the lamest I've ever felt. Oh, what's this? Oh, I messaged my wife because I wanted to double check.

Oh. But she says we ran into someone from RT a long time ago, but I don't know anyone's name. I didn't know anyone's name. Oh. I didn't know anyone's name. She's been on vacation with us, dude. Wait, it's fucked up. 2016, you didn't even work there.

Well, Nick just pulled rank on Eric. Is that what he did? Nick adding guilt, not guilt. Nick is Jack and Brandon fighting over who's an RT longer. Oh, that's no. Congratulations, man. I meant to say doubt. Nick adding doubt to the story unnecessarily is so Nick.

What do you mean? Oh, I guess I did. Ah, shit. I love that bad, no guilt. No guilt. I felt the lamest I've ever felt in a long time playing a video game. Like video game caused it.

I recently, I never played Rise Son of Rome when that came out. That was an Xbox one launch title. Xbox one launched with the Connect. And I had a moment of just accidental, complete embarrassment where in that game, you know,

because it was a Xbox One lunch game with the Connect. There were prompts where they wanted you to say things using the connect and the game would do it. That was like the cool thing to make you feel like a Roman soldier. And one of those prompts came up and you can hold left bumper

and it slowly fills to just skip it but it is very much like say the thing and I was caught off guard by it the first time it happened and I looked at it and I thought logically I knew there is no way that there's no microphone connected to this game that would hear me.

So I just, but I was I'll just read the one that was in. I was like, get those cages open. And I could hear myself because I was wearing my headphones for my microphone, and I could just hear it come back to me. And I just felt so. It was the exact opposite feeling that the game wanted to convey. But you were wondering where a microphone might be when you're talking into a microphone?

Well, I just know that there's no connection to the game. Like the game has no way of accessing the microphone that I'm using. I'm wearing my work headphones so I can hear the game through my Elgado capture but the microphone isn't in any way

connected to the console so it's not an Xbox headphones no no no no this is my podcast recording mic that I use is what picked up on

do you think a a connect would work if you had one today and plugged it in are they still operational um did they get rid of the ports later on the Xbox one

I think they did. Oh, probably, yeah. You could have an adapter that was, it would like spaghetti out into a bunch of USBs or something. Yeah, I think you'd probably have to get like a launch Xbox One. I remember being in the same room when Dan was playing Dead Rising 3 and you'd have to like yell stuff at the bosses. He would just be pite.

And I just hear him going, you're crazy! You're crazy! You're crazy! Why would you have to do that? to say that to the bosses. That's like some crazy woman. You tell her she's crazy. You just see this fucking nerdy guy.

You keep telling him he's crazy. It is funny because it's not like, at least the thing I'm giving like you're giving action to other people to do something. But you're just like, nah, you're the psychopath. You're berating a psychopath. Do you're nuts.

Like what would the I wonder if it like made them weaker Or you got a boost of some kind Like there must have been some in game Maybe it's some sort of Advantage for Why why was That such like the thing of like

Now listen we know you want to play video games But what if you stop playing video games And started dancing around And yelling at your screen instead of playing You know what it is? It's because of fucking we sports I will for the rest of my life think that it's all because of

goddamn Wii bowling. Microsoft looked at that. It was a fucking cultural phenomenon for some stupid reason, even though it didn't work worth of shit. And they said, oh, well, what's the iteration? How do we evolve that? Just take away the controller? Perfect. Got it. Billion

dollars incoming. Everyone wants this. The Connect wouldn't have existed without that fucking Wii sports game. Yeah. I will say though, those early Xbox games, Xbox one games, they had like a second screen thing you could do on your iPad. Oh yeah. And that was awesome.

I'd love to be able to pick objectives and look at the map without covering up my screen. Dreamcast glass. Smart used to have something similar to that where if you had the memory card put in, you could have like your Final Fantasy map on your controller while you were playing the game. It was pretty neat. Yeah. Is that the VMU? I think so I think I was what it was called, yeah. Yeah. Because you could get like the little Chow from Sonic or whatever and you could like raise it. Yeah. be like your, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. That's right. Be like your little cool dude. Could you play audio through a VMU? Like, can we record a podcast for a Dreamcast VMU? You could, I don't think you could record audio through it, but it did, it, it, like, made, didn't it, like, chirp? Didn't it, like, little, like, noises and stuff? Am I remember that right?

I believe it didn't. I believe it didn't make noises, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't think it was, like, actual, like, full, like, sound. I think it just, like, chirped and whistled and shit, like, Tomicchi style. Interesting. I bet those things are expensive to find and buy now.

I bet they're collector's items, but they were fucking everywhere for about a decade. Like Connect shit. There was a period in time when there was piles of connects at the Roosteat office. You couldn't give them away. And I bet now they're probably pretty fucking sought after. Because people use them for their stuff.

I got like four of them, I think. What do you do with them? They just used to come with the console, didn't they? Yeah. They could pile. Have you thought about filming slow-mo with them? Oh wow. Yeah.

Oh, really? How was it? Yeah. I mean, they shoot a shitlet of infrared out. They look cool. Like being a little rave. Cool. Have you ever shot bats in slow motion? Wow.

No, but there was someone who studies the bats under the bridge that wanted me to come and film it. It's why I asked, because I saw, like, on a local Texas, like news shows yesterday, they did a story on the bats and somebody filmed it in slow motion and it was really fucking cool looking having to come out from under the bridge and I thought well Gavin lives here surely you can do that if you ever wanted to

Kevin does live here I do. I know lighting is an issue but you wouldn't have to film it that slow you know. Yeah I was funny I don't know it sounded derisive I know you don't have to film that point I know it's just like I know he's constantly

I didn't film it slow mode that'd be that slow idiot He's constantly battling He's constantly battling lighting When he's filming at like 10,000 frames a second or whatever But that's not going to be an issue for bats I don't know Probably filming at 250 frames a second It'd be cool

Wow 250 frames a second That's almost normal mo That's that yet's close Standard Moe Standard Moe Standard Moe Standard definition Moe We should sell a remote

Where the play button just says a normal mo Speaking of Standard Moe I've been working on the thing, Gavin, you'll be excited about. Oh, shit. Eric will be less excited. I'm going to share my screen really quickly. Do a reveal for you.

I think I've got most of the Kingston. I was having somebody help me with it over the weekend. Ooh. Oh, you've got a missed. Physical Discores. What is this? What is this? X, look at this.

Watch this. Okay. Floating in. I got a disc. There's a lot of things this is going to open up. Eric, you're not going to like it. For what? You're going to hate it.

But, For what? He's got to get the settings then? The one, the only. The game of the year. No! You can figure this out, but you can't plug a fucking monitor in. It's so, you're so, you're fascinating.

Also, this, this game's on Steam. Yeah, but this is the PS1 version. I want to go back to how it played. The way you experienced it. On World Inhabitants. He's got you there. What? For those just listening, it's Abe's Odyssey, one of Gavin's favorite games.

Love it. I've never played, but it looks so ugly in all the Cicarooms. Oh, we got to do full play through of this. Abe's Odd World Odyssey. This game is such a vibe. It looks like it. So who's going to play? Is Gavin going to play, or are you going to play?

I'm going to play, and I'll share it to Gavin. Go on game speak and make him fart. So here's the thing. It's so funny you bring that up. You can go into GameSpeak and you can't do things. However, I don't have a controller right now that recognizes L2. So I can only do the L1 prompt. It would be so much easy just to play on Steam.

So I'm getting a PS1 controller and I'm hopefully going to have that by the end of the week. Oh, nice. I bought a PS5 controller and it doesn't work for the L2 in this game. And I also learned something just as like a heads up for people. I don't own a PS5. And I was like, I should get a P... I would love a PlayStation controller for this, like, PS1, essentially, that I have. So I got the James Bond First Light PlayStation controller.

It's like a limited edition controller that they made for it. And I opened it, and there's no USBC cable. They do not include USBC cables with any of their specialty controllers, apparently, under the assumption that you already own a PlayStation and have one. That sucks. I agree. That does suck. Why is Eric streaming now?

Oh, I just wanted to show that it's not that hard to get this stuff going. I'm playing SSX tricky. But why? So you say you don't have a USB cable? No, it didn't come with a USB cable for it. It's just a USBC cable. Sorry, I can't. I join Eric's stream and it's fucking blast.

Yeah, I had to leave the whole Discord. Why turn it down? I just turned it down. It was insanely loud. You're saying that I should have a USBC cable to plug it in? Yeah. Yeah. Is that your point?

Yeah. I mean, sure, but like, if you're selling a controller that needs to be charged and plugged into things, maybe you include the cable. Nah, not for USBC. That's like e-waste rules against it, and that? That's something you can hate about Europe if you want. I would hate that about Europe. If I buy a thing that needs to be charged, I would like for it to include the cable that charges it. Yeah, but what if you've already got 65 of them? But how do they know?

I have 65 of them because it's a standard in which you get the cable that charges the thing so you can use your product. Yeah. Wait, what? Who's the green? He has 65 of them because he has 65 items that he purchased that required that cable. And they 65 other manufacturers included the cable because they know it's necessary to use the equipment. I mean, it makes sense that after a decade of a new standard, you don't need to provide them any. more. I completely disagree. I don't think I could disagree more. You should provide all of the

things that make your device functional when you're selling the device. It's the equivalent of like buying a toy for a kid and then he opens it up and it doesn't have fucking batteries and the parents didn't realize it didn't come with batteries. But even worse, because an old person trying to figure out what a USB cable at a target is is cruel. That's not fair to somebody who's trying to buy a controller for a kid and doesn't know it doesn't come with a kid. And it doesn't come with a cable and then they got to figure it out and they're old and everything's scary. It is true that being, like I try and help my grandparents out with stuff and I used to be able to just write down instructions. Like, to use like the VCR, you press this, then you press

this, blah, blah, blah. Now it's completely impossible to do that. You turn something on. It will sometimes resume in a state that it's last in. Sometimes it'll go to the main menu. Sometimes it'll be on an app that's like crashed. It's impossible to actually write out instructions that make any sense in 2026. It's going to make you think you have to create some kind of a fucking account that you probably don't have to create, but you don't know that. They're not going to know that. It's, yeah. Yeah. Or to activate something on the device, it's like, hey, because of, like, app store money, you can't buy this on the device. Sure. You have to use a different device with a QR code. It's a nightmare. It is a nightmare. This kind of reminds me, speaking of,

like tech things. I was trying to solve that or fix that computer that I got that has the celebrity Rolodex on it. Yeah. I was encountered a bunch of new issues with it, but I did get it to work long enough for me to scrape all the info. I wanted off of it by launching it into safe mode. I found some ethical numbers, I think, that we could use, that we could call that like go beyond the thing of... Ethical numbers? Yeah, like it's totally fine, I think, to call some of these. So I've called two of them. One of them was the commissioner of baseball's phone number for like their office.

And that line, really? No longer worked. It was out of service, which is very disappointing. But I also got the commissioner of the NBA's number, which was listed as David Stern for the time period. And I called that one and it was busy. So it's still active. Do you have Adam Silver or you have the David Stern's number? I think it's the line

I think it's just the NBA office and I'm assuming it's now Adam Silver's number Do you think they'll be busy now? Try to call There's not much going on in the NBA these days I'm sure Adam Silver's got plenty of time Yeah, it's no scandals or anything We can get some

Someone has to give them some new ideas Because what they're doing is I just don't think it's working Nope Let me scroll it was I called them a little while ago So I have to find it Here we go Okay

Should I call? Yeah put on speaking Yeah, yeah fucking call. Okay. Stay on the line while your call is completed. Long distance charges may apply.

I don't hear anything. Line busy again. It just immediately goes line busy. Oh. Maybe it's disconnected. Maybe is that something that they do for disconnected? It just goes busy?

I mean, when someone dies, do they go busy? What? I think it's recirculated. It's kind of busy forever, you know? They surely need to leave a period of time before. Like if you just called me, but I died last week, I doubt it would be back in circulation.

Well, David Sertz been dead for a while, but also, you would think if you're calling into the NBA corporate headquarters, there's going to have a, there's going to be a call bank, right? There's going to be, you're going to enter into some sort of a system that's going to allow you to push a bunch of buttons and leave a message or, you know. I don't think of being busy ever Hey man I was just calling to see if you were alive Yeah still still around sorry I got to go there Because I'm recording the podcast Oh okay sounds good man I'll talk to you later

Alright bye Hey guys Gavin's doing okay Oh he's alive good Yeah There was a phone number for Pillsbury That scared me because they didn't say Who it was going to or what But it was not a public number

I didn't know what to ask Is this poppins lined up for baseball And NBA so I was like I don't even want to call up Just ask those questions to pop in fresh. Is this the doughboy? But I think that's fine, right? We can call, like, company office lines,

like direct lines to people? Yeah, I don't see what I'm sure. You could just Google them as well. Some of them you can't. Like, I looked up that NBA number. It was not on Google. Well, apparently, it's not working either. No, it's dysfunctionally, yeah.

Might be why. It's unfortunate. No, I think that's fine. I think establishments and businesses our safe harbor. I agree. We should get our number going soon. We should.

We do it now. I keep trying to call it, but it doesn't work. Yeah, how do we do that? Wait, Gawfield doesn't work? Yeah. I tried making a phone call to it and from it. Oh, is it? Did it get unplugged at some point?

It might have been unplugged. No. There's a, like, dial tone. Kevin really did not expect you to say that. Yeah, I'm not sure why. And also I don't know who we is in the situation that he's talking about. Well, I get the number out there. Give it to Jorky or whatever.

Well, we, but it doesn't work. Well, I know. You've told me that after I said that, though. Right. Yeah, I'm bringing it up. It's like, oh, we should hang out with this guy. He's dead. Well, no, I called you to make sure you were alive.

Who died? No one died. A lot of people died. A lot of people died. Are you kidding? It was a little. A whole bunch of deaths lately. But we didn't have anything to do with any of those, right?

No, he didn't. No. Cool. Thank God. Yeah. We can't be blamed for them. You guys were in the clear. I got some blood on my hands, I think. Really?

No. At least one of them, yeah. Emily and I had a conversation a couple weeks ago where she said, we should go to Dollywood before it's sad to go to Dollywood. And I said absolutely. And we were planning it. trip that we've been talking about it every other day, planning a trip to Dollywood sometime on October.

So she definitely has been mentioned a lot out of my mouth in the last two years. Interesting. She'd probably still want you to go there. Oh, for sure. Yeah, no, for sure. Just now we're going to go when it's sad, which we were trying to not do. First thing I thought of is like, I wonder what the scene was like at Dollywood when it came out publicly.

What a weird place to be to learn that information. Yeah, it's kind of like when we were at an NBA game when Kobe Bryant died. Yeah. Wow. God, that'd be crazy to be like, where were you when? Where were you when Dolly Parton died, Dollywood? That'd be insane. That is insane.

Yeah, just like the whole vibe of the park, I assume, is pretty bad. I saw a clip from, I think it was like a Broadway or some like theater performance of 9 to 5. And they announced like, and this is dedicated Dolly Parton who just passed away. And it's the whole audience going, what? What? And it's like, whoa, you guys announced that crazy. That's wild. That is crazy.

Oh. Can't really do that at Disney. Can't fucking kill that mountain. That mouse is forever. And no one's allowed to die at or on Disney anyway, so. It's true. They just throw you out? They don't pronounce you dead until you're like down the street or something.

Yeah, it was a whole thing in the early 2000s. There was a book about it. What if you're just like a, what if you're like a medical professional who's just visiting the park? Do you pronounce someone dead? Oh You'll get banned You'll get banned for life Like a church

Like a I now pronounce you dead Type thing I object Any objections? Yes Alright get up you brusco I mean now kiss the cadaver or whatever I mean people get pronounced dead

Like they get pronounced married Time of time of It's just flatline time of marriage Time of marriage 15 p.m. What do you mean? What do I mean? Mark it

It would be interesting if the only confirmation of ghosts we had were divorce filings. What do you mean? What? So like if a couple die, right, and they're married, and then we get a paper, you're a divorce lawyer or whatever, and you learn that the deceased wants a divorce. Because there has to be afterlife divorces of ghosts sort of thing. Does the marriage carry over into dead? That's the most pointless question

I guess you technically become single when you die You're right You're right that's Gavin you're right That is the most pointless question of the podcast Congratulations Andrew This is kind of what I was talking about earlier Yeah

Till death do us part I think Is what they say I just I feel like I've never seen that addressed Yeah because you're not locked in beyond the grave Yeah but wouldn't it suck Like you go beyond the grave The other person's like I guess I'm gonna go try something new Well yeah

The death to us part that's also the I mean how about everybody's who has had multiple spouses in their life you know who's my mom

hanging out with when she finally dies out of all my dads yeah it's always kind of messed up when a rose at the end of Titanic keeps dreaming about

DiCaprio when she got married after him had a whole fucking family had kids yeah I just that's that is what you brought up

Jeff is even more interesting because your parents die and then ideally you die a lot later. Yeah. The concept of like you become a ghost and you meet your ghost mom and all of a sudden you have a new ghost dad that you don't know about.

Potentially have a new ghost dad or like, you know, like in my situation, all, I don't know if my first two dads are. I think my first two dads are still alive so they don't count. But my guy who I consider my dad, my mom's final husband, you know, he's dead. It would be weird if when I die, I go back to heaven expecting to see. my mom and the guy I consider to be my dad Larry in heaven and she's like,

yeah, you know, things of the way. I actually got to talking to Paul, your second dad, and we hit it off again. And I don't know, you know what I mean? That would be fucking weird to me. Be like, no, we don't like him anymore. We like new dad, you know. I don't want to go to a ghost cookout with new people. Like, I don't want to learn I suddenly have brothers in the afterlife.

That sucks. Why does that suck? New friends. New friends? You're the, you, you, Gavin Free. You, the person you are, are pumped about a bunch of new people to socially interact with. I like new people. I don't know if I believe that.

Who's my newest friend? Nick? Just not in that R-E-I, that's all right. Yeah, I will say, Gavin does quietly have lots of friends. I think it's weird. Gavin's great. You think that's weird? Yeah, I want less and less.

I want less and less friends as I get older. I want my world and my circle to shrink with me as I shrink. I think, Gavin, you like having friends. I don't think you like interacting with people necessarily. That's not true. I've realized I'll hang out with literally anyone. Like if someone just out of nowhere says, hey, do you want to hang out? It's a dangerous statement.

Yeah. But I've, I only hung out with Tina for the first time like this year or last year. known her for like over a decade she was like you want to hang out I was like yeah what took you so long she never asked

she gets the thing with Gavin Gavin it'll hang out with anybody who makes the effort to ask him well am I gonna go and just ask ask Teter she wants to hang out to be insane

that's what she did with you was it insane that she asked you to hang out that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying she could she can do it

that's who she is I can't do that But you could. And I think that's what Andrew was pointing out. Sort of my point is that like the concept of you be like, yeah, I got a whole bunch of people to talk to that I've never talked to before. Hell yeah. That's not you. I would enjoy it.

So what I'm saying is I wouldn't be inviting people to the ghost cookout. But I would be happy that there would be new people there. If you die, if you drown, right? I think this is as believable as the smash burger thing. This is his smash burger. We all believe the smash burger thing. You would eat the smash burger, Andrew. That's all there is to it.

That's what I'm saying is like he would not be pumped about interacting with all these new ghosts. Completely agree. Look. The guy who's holiday pet peeves, one of his holiday pet peeves is small talk. Didn't you literally just try to extinct small talk like 20 minutes ago in this podcast? Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying I like small talk. That's what these are. That's all cookouts are small talk.

What? You're crazy. What do you think's going on? Like a Ted? talk about, like deep issues? Big talk? I feel like I could get into it at a cookout. I don't think Gavin's ever gotten

into it at a cookout. You can get into what? I don't know that Gavin's ever been to a cookout or gotten into it, whatever that is. I'm starting to wonder if I've been to a cookout. Let's have a cookout. Is it just you go somewhere and they've got like a grill on or something? Yeah.

I've been to that. Nah. Nah Your new friend is getting after you Gavin Nick was at a cookout and he saw Gavin walk by and he did not engage Gavin's hosted years of cookouts at our when we live together just by proxy and be in there when they happen I never made small talk of those I usually be arguing with your neighbors

because they think I'm pretending to be from England are you not or some guy just randomly starts on me because he's hammered Starts trying to fight me in the kitchen. This isn't small talk. This is getting into it. That wasn't a cookout. That was a party.

It was a nighttime party. Different scenario altogether. And that guy was drunk and he tried to fight everybody. That guy was the first person I ever saw fall upstairs. Yeah. And what was weird is that he was only ever nice to me before that. But he, for some reason, completely forgot who I was and thought I was someone who'd wronged him. Yeah.

And then when he was sober, he loved you again. Yeah. I'm not sure he even remembered trying to fight me. He was a nice guy, but he had a problem. Yeah. Anyway, so if you died, right? If you drowned. Why am I drowned?

Well, you might have gone swimming and drowned. Okay. And say that the lifeguards are working on you, you've died. If you get resuscitated, do you have to get married again? No. What? Because of like, till death do us part. Like, you've tired.

Yeah. You were legally dead for a while. I think that... I think that... I think that... I think that... Everyone's going to turn... No one's going to make you do it.

But I think that there is a legal case to be made if you wanted to escape a marriage that you could get yourself to die for 30 seconds or so. And then be declared dead, brought back to life. Then you could say, Null and Void. I don't want to be in this...

I die. I always interpreted the till death do us part as a joint death. I don't think it is a... person death. Well, that's going to do us part whether one or both die. You thought you both had to die for that to be?

I think that's the spirit of the statement. It's literally not. It's the opposite of... It's literally saying you can like find other people and get remarried if one of you dies. And I mean, the point of it is like literally we will be together you and I until one of us dies.

Otherwise you'd have to get to divorce. Departs us. Guess I'm a romantic. Yeah, it sounds right. So you think if you get married, you have to die together too at the same time? No, just that I felt like that was sort of the spirit of the statement. Oh. Do you think that instead of law school to divorce people, we could start a flatliners type institution

where we kill people and bring them back to life. Flatline is what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can experience what it is on the other side and get divorced. It's like how Vegas became big in the 30s because people could get divorces there. So everybody started to go to Vegas. to get divorces. You can have like a, like, Cincinnati's the flatliner city.

Everybody starts hanging out in Cincinnati to flatline and get divorces that way. Yeah, we can do flatliners. Or it wouldn't even be a divorce. It'd just be a, annulment. I don't even know what you'd call it. It would just be declared null. Oh, this is a rich guy loophole for sure. Yeah.

Jeff Bezos is definitely flatlining. Has anyone ever defibrillated a baby in the womb? Oh, my God. I don't even want. I want to fucking explore that. So this is the most pointless question. I just wonder if it ever worked? Okay.

Can I... Hold on. Can you... It's such a traumatic scenario. I don't like even exploring it mentally. No, I'm with you. Wow. No. No.

I was just trying to beat Andrew for the most pointless question. You won. Congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations to Gavin. Winner of the most pointless question of episode 122. And congratulations to you for surviving another episode of the Regulation Podcast. You did it. Achievement unlocked.

Unfortunately, that means you're still married. Yeah. Unfortunately, you are still married or fortunately, if you like your spouse. Congratulations. It's going to last forever. You guys are going to beat the statistics. And we'll see you next week. Bye.

Bye. Bye.