F**kface - Two Foot Bean Hole // Buttplug Updates [95]

Episode Date: March 23, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about disgusting lunch caffeinated soup, partial bean hole, Donkey Kong bet, how many socks is 1, and Andrew's long hair. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by Honey (http://joinhoney.com/face), Better Help (http://betterhelp.com/face), and RTX (http://bit.ly/rtxaustin22). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Oh, he ought. Oh, my God. Incredible. Incredible. Incredible. There's a 0% chance of pleasantries ever occurring. Is what this established. Which we've been over before. I don't want to bring up a dead thing. But we haven't spoken.

I haven't talked to Gavin in a literal month. It's been a month since we talked. Hey Gavin. Hi. Hi. I'm surprised. I'm good. I'm okay. I feel good. I'm okay.

I feel a little bloated, if I'm going to be honest. I cooked French fries a little too late to the recording, and I was trying to eat them as quickly as possible because I think we're doing two of these. I also had a disgusting lunch. It was awful. What was your lunch? What did you have? I was panicking. I had about 20 minutes.

I had to whip up some soup, but also I'm feeling a bit drowsy, so I thought, oh, I'll get a coffee. I had a coffee. Hot coffee and hot soup, absolutely foul. I wouldn't recommend it. What if you Okay, hear me out. Combine both. Put caffeine in the soup.

Yeah. Caffeinated soup? Caffeinated soup. That would have saved me quite a lot of time. Oh my god, you just didn't Andrew. Can we do caffeinated soup? Think about it. Two things I don't enjoy much. Think about this. Oh my God.

You just saved so much time. This could be Unifarm. I need to, I'm going to get on the phone with Unifarm HQ because this could exist. What is this? Heat and sip. Yeah, I don't,

whatever that is, I don't care. Who cares about bone broth? Think about it. What are the two things you put in thermoses? You put hot coffee in a thermos. You put soup in a thermos. Boom.

I like that Eric just sent us a link immediately establishing that this is real. And Jeff just wants to ignore it. Just pretend it doesn't exist. I mean, it's bone broth. Bone broth isn't a soup. It's a component of a soup. What is bone broth? What is bone broth?

Yeah, like what? That's terrible. That's something andrew would do no i would audio podcast yeah it's somebody put soup in a fucking coffee machine progressive noodles in a kettle i did but that was that was a good idea you did it's no thing you did. It's the same thing you did. There's something much grosser about, because there's vegetables. Well, I guess there were. No, the vegetables came in later. I don't know.

I guarantee you this works. Then they just run hot water through it, and it's fine. For sure. I guess the question is, what else do they do? If you're doing that, your line of what you're going to do

is not the same as other people. I'm curious what other inventions they have. Not inventions, but like cooking processes. How are you doing, Jeff? I'm good. Let's do this real fast. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey with, as always, Andrew Panton and the other one, Gavin Free.

Of course, Nick eric are somewhere in the in the background they're being quiet and hilarious in their own rights and we haven't spoken as a trio in exactly a month uh i've spent time with andrew we invented a product we had to stop talking because it was getting too too podcasty uh spent some physical time with gavin i'm still sore from it uh I don't know how you feel. But we should dive into it. Where do you guys want to start? I want to know why you're sore.

What was the physical thing that you two did? Well, was there anything that we had planned a month ago, Andrew? Yeah, but I don't think that's happened yet. The thing I'm thinking of, the baseballs? No, the baseballs happened this weekend. Nick is correct. Oh, you guys did the bean hole? Well, we did

some of the bean hole. What's that mean? It means we dug the hole. So you've done none of the bean hole. You've done none of the bean hole. We did a very hard part of the bean hole that's the hole that's exactly half of the work it's in the name yeah i can't have you can't have bean

hole without hole that's true but the hole you can do a lot with that hole that hole doesn't have to be a bean hole yet you got options with that hole let me just say before we get into it fuck that hole fuck that hole with everything i have fuck my backyard fuck my back fuck the hammer fuck the pry bar that was covered in my hand hurts i got i just have rust embedded in my fingers today gavin i was making fun of you for whining about not having a glove yesterday but today it's just like my my fingers are on. Fuck the shovel that we bent in half. Fuck the broken wheelbarrow. Fuck the giant cinder block we were trying to use. Fuck everything.

How up to date is your tetanus? It's up to date. I got a tetanus shot last year. Nice. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. Are there any photos of this? I'd love to see your broken fucking wheelbarrow

and your brick. Like this is, I don't understand how there isn't better coverage of this event. Oh's coverage there's coverage to see you want to see coverage oh i want to see coverage so badly did we decide if i share my screen can you hear it was that not a thing oh no it was absolutely a thing we did but i don't remember the results of it there was a problem i think i don't think we could well because it was the slow-mo video right with uh jeff on the bike the bike trip yeah we tried it then i don't it doesn't. Well, because it was the slow-mo video, right? With Jeff on the bike, the bike trip. We tried it then.

It doesn't matter. Whatever. What if I send it to Eric and Eric can figure it out while I do the talking part of F*** Face? That sounds great. That sounds like a good plan. Oh, fun. Sure. Also, I'll say, before we get into it any further, I will say we didn't complete the beanhole.

I mean, first off, you can't complete it in one day. It's a multi-day thing. But there were a few mitigating factors that made a stop. One, physical exhaustion. Two, I have to go out of town tomorrow for the day and I didn't want to leave my yard on fire and be on a road trip. That seemed irresponsible, especially I believe there's like Texas has like a permanent burn ban going on at all times.

So I just didn't want to come home to a pile of rubble or a neighborhood on fire. However, we haven't talked about this with you yet, Eric, I don't think, or Nick, but I think Gavin and I decided after we dug the hole, since we're going to be hitting baseballs all afternoon on Sunday anyway, wouldn't it be great to celebrate the 350 dingers I hit? Come on back to Jeff's house and we can all

eat some beans together. Yeah, that sounds fun. Gavin and I were thinking Andrew, we'll mail you some beans. Great. Gavin and I were thinking maybe Saturday morning, we'll get up early Saturday. Great. Gavin and I were thinking maybe Saturday morning, we'll get up early Saturday morning and pop the beans in the hole and set shit on fire and stuff. And then by the time we finish hitting baseballs 24 hours later,

they'll be cooked. I think it's a phenomenal idea. Eric, thoughts? I'm for it. I can't think of anything more quenching after 350 baseballs than beans that have been sitting in your yard for a day. More quenching than coffee and soup, though. Yes. Yeah.

I mean, it's probably, I'll be honest, probably going to be pretty close. Have you just swung a baseball bat 350 times? Come get these red hot beans. You have to do work to get out of the ground. beans that you have to do work to get out of the ground you know that feeling when you're so tired and dehydrated and hot where it's that feeling that you get rarely where water just tastes so amazing and you just love every second of it going down your gullet i cannot imagine that with beans i really don't think we're gonna be able to get the same effect uh there's no there's no thirst quench quite like a bean quench.

So, I'm just trying to understand the mechanics of this. You're gonna, so you put the beans in the hole. Once you make the beans, you put them in a pot. Pot goes in the hole. You then have to fill the hole again, correct? Yeah, so what you do is you put them in a cast iron, like a Dutch oven, then you triple seal it with like saran wrap,

not saran wrap, but tin foil or aluminum foil, and then you pour hot coals all over it, and then you seal that into the ground and then put a couple feet of dirt on top of it. Okay, so you're going to have to re-dig the hole after all of this as well. Yeah, for sure. Okay. And how deep is the hole? How deep is the hole? Gavin, how deep is the hole?

He might be measuring it right now. I think you left the measure. Where did he go? I have no idea. Maybe he's getting his dinklage stick. It's... What would you guess? Where did he go? I have no idea. Maybe he's getting his dinklage stick. How many? What would you guess? Are you incapable of guessing how deep the hole is? I have a pretty good idea how deep the hole is.

I was just trying to work Gavin into it for a reason. I'll show you here in a second. Okay. I was trying to work Gavin into it because of what's going on in this photo that I'm posting to the Discord right now. What am I looking at? You're looking at a guy with a gas powered leaf blower five feet from me blowing leaves in my backyard that I didn't know my girlfriend scheduled somehow during the podcast. I was trying not to talk for a second.

Gavin, are you here? Ooh. Ooh. Is somebody printing laws? Are you okay? Well, I just realized this computer's been on for a month without being used. It's really

struggling to open Slack. I'm trying to Slack you. I'm trying to Slack Eric this link to the whole video, and it sort of loads a new piece, and then I can't hear anything for a minute, and then it loads a little bit more. Welcome to my world!

This is great! Have you copied Andrew to my computer while I've been away, Andrew? I think you've just done it by being away. I can't take credit for that. I'd say the hole's two feet deep. What do you think, guys? That's it, all of that fucking, all of that, two feet? You dig a hole!

Two feet. I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you what I told Gavin in the moment when I was between breaths. Every scene in every movie where somebody gets murdered or accidentally hit by a car and they have to cover it up by digging a real grave to put the body in, in the woods at night, like lit by a car, is bullshit. It is impossible to dig a human-sized hole. Fuck you, every director in the history of film who has put that into a movie.

You're a fucking liar who's never dug a fucking hole in your fucking life. That's what I'll say. I'll also say this too because they're my entire house i'm sorry gavin let me cut you off but my entire house is built on rock i guarantee you more murders go solved in texas because of the ground than any other state two feet gavin go ahead well yeah in films i feel like it would be really easy to get an accurate representation because, you know, the actors stood next to the hole they've just, in quotes, dug, are probably actually stood next to just two people from the art department who actually

just dug the hole. So just mimic what they're doing and you'd have an accurate representation. They have tools. What tools do you... Wait, can we recap what you had for your two-foot hole what what why don't you watch the video i'd love to watch the video oh my god i'm gonna see if this works oh boy something about a minute yeah okay we're gonna notify we have okay we're gonna see what happens here we go can everyone everyone see feet uh hold on yeah

okay swap over oh i can see feet yeah watch stream okay here it comes this will be on our youtube page the well-prepared tool of a hammer. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

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Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!! Oh! Oh! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! can put a shoe if you put a shoe on that pot it would be above ground that was like a heist movie where like everything, like a comedy heist film where literally everything goes wrong. That was amazing. That was an hour cut down to about a minute. I was about to say, what did you have, about 60 minutes of footage there? Oh, yeah. I had at least 50 something minutes.

Can I ask a question? Yeah. Why did you try to dig through the rock yeah why not set up another hole you like around like around it we were having trouble digging around and we didn't know how big it was so then we thought what if we split it in half and then just dig it up in pieces oh what it's still like the worst like you're fucking andy dufresne trying to get through a rock like why i don't understand yeah and unfortunately we didn't have any spoons did you not we also didn't have either of you two idiots that help with us oh i would have just said let's dig a different hole we're three we're three shovels into this rock. Here, man. We didn't. It was a while

before we realized. Yeah. In retrospect, should we, the second we hit that rock, have stopped? Of course. We should have gone

to a different spot of the yard. Although, I got to be honest with you. There were at least three rocks that size in the vicinity of that because we touched them all. I have no,

I'm pretty certain that there's a rock every six inches like that in my yard. So it wouldn't have mattered. We would have just had a bunch of third dug holes. Yeah, the whole place is like natural bean hole prevention. Yeah. I just... There was not even an...

Like, I understand what you're saying, but the fact that there wasn't even a tempt at a hole two is what is wild to me. Not that you're not right. Like, you could be totally right, but I don't understand being married to that hole. Do you know why we found the second rock? When I go, there's another rock here.

The third rock. It's because we decided to shift the hole over away from the second rock. And as we did that, like the hole, you don't notice it, but it gets bigger at the end because we did essentially what you're saying, Andrew. We stretched the hole out to the right and hit another fucking rock.

You're just making that hole wider. That's not a different hole. You're just extending your base hole. I'd move to a completely different part of the yard. It would be the same result, dude. I don't know if you know that. I'm pretty sure. Based on the video I just saw, I don't think you're know that. I'm pretty sure. Based on the video I just saw,

I don't think you're an expert in this field in any way. There's zero opinion you can just have without trying that I'd believe based on your expertise. Well, here's what we're going to have to do. So that I can respect your opinion on holes, we're going to need you to turn in a video of you digging a hole,

showing us how it's done. Maybe do like a Bob Vila, you know, like home improvement style video explaining how to properly dig a hole as Canadians do. Listen, it has to be in your yard, first of all, because every terrain is different.

So if we're like really comparing, if we're trying to make my point accurate, it's that you could have dug a much easier, better hole with a lot less effort so it'd have to be in your yard it's a it is challenging in a million ways i think by the time we've done the actual bean hole and eaten the beans it it'll be enough for like a full half an hour episode on our youtube channel experience because there's so much footage

i can't wait put the beans yet i can't wait for another food review where i just watch you guys all eat and talk about how good the food is that's gonna be great a follow-up that's our whole that's the gimmick well as we know you will not set foot in the u.s until after june and if you did come to the u.s in June, it wouldn't be Vegas, that's for sure. Not till the fall. That supplemental was great. And it's hard to believe that there's 20 minutes before. I think just like, I don't know if sometimes people miss them. We release supplemental content sometimes and it's generally on our feed.

I think it almost always is. But if you haven't listened to it, there's a supplemental that is just titled Eric's Job, I believe, of just us trying to schedule the block of episodes we had to do as well as something in the future. And it's that was 45 minutes long. I need you. I just need to I need to share this. I saw Jeff yesterday before he dug a hole for beans and then he asked why we scheduled so much in one week like he wasn't in the recording and then we released the thing where we all agreed when it would be scheduled

we scheduled two faces a bean hole mv 2 watch along, and baseballs all in seven days. And we're going to do all of it but one when it's all said and done. You almost cancelled bean hole, but we did half of it. I tried, man. I was just happy that all of my stuff worked out. I got back

in time. I was available for all of those super in the future calendar invites, and then it was going to be Jeff in the end who was going to cancel it. I did have to cancel the MVP, too. I apologize for that. I will accept all the blame for that one. But I am devoting my entire

weekend to beans and baseballs. I feel like there's redemption in that alone. Jeff felt so bad about canceling MVP, too. On Friday, he texted me personally about it. Yeah, like, out of character. Yes. Like there's redemption in that alone. Jeff felt so bad about canceling MVP two on Friday. He texted me personally about it. Yeah. Like out of character.

Yes. It's a, I'm excited. We'll eventually watch it. We'll get there. We'll do it next week. Okay. I watched the first one because you said in passing Gavin, I feel like you were joking that I need to record like a recap for you guys to

get into part two to know where the story is going. I wanted you to edit the movie down into like a summary. there's well that's what i'm doing with my recording i took notes i watched it with notes i'm ready i'm ready to record a three minute version of mvp that was not a throwaway comment that is uh that's a necessity what's happening today's episode is sponsored by honey the easy way to save when shopping on your iPhone or computer. I love to shop online. It's essentially the only way I do shop. I hate going to stores, but when I shop online, I never have a promo code ready. Thanks to Honey, manually searching for coupon codes is a thing of the past.

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because we haven't actually talked about the conclusion. Oh, yeah. What are all the dangling comedic threads we have to we have to pull and wrap up here. We have the that bet for sure. Anything else out there? Well, I also want an update on Andrew's mom's

butt plugs. Okay. I do have an update on that. Yeah. Survey update the survey is continuing to happen every once in a while. We'll be talking and then she'll just be like yeah ask this person uh I will say it's been a role of do not know what it is

it's been quite the chain I think the last four people haven't heard of butt plugs are these the last four people are they all around your mom's age like in her uh yes yep they're all around the same age I think there is generational butt plug blindness. You think so?

Yeah. Funny enough, that's what butt plugs originally were supposed to cure, was blindness. So it's a real, it wrapped around, a real medical cure. That's the funniest joke you've ever said.

Oh, that's good. That's good. So, Donkey Kong. good. So Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong. So Donkey Kong was a journey. So just to recap what the bet was, it's going to be very weird for people because this will just be like nothing's ever changed and we haven't spoken in a month.

What was I at? 48 hours, right? To beat all of Donkey Kong? Was it 44? And I could ask for four more hours in the first six or some bullshit. I feel like I got tricked. I'm just gonna say that before you continue. I feel like I got bollocked. Let me talk about how big of a

fucking asshole Gavin is for a minute. Just let me pivot to this. So I start the stream. I was furious with you. And it's not your fault. It was bad timing. Not a real comment. I started the stream and I don't know if you remember this, Gavin, but apparently there is no gameplay audio when I stream to you as just Andrew the Donkey Kong guy. I could have swore there was, but I didn't change anything.

And there was no game audio at the start of the stream. So I get ready to go. We've been talking about it. I launch at midnight on Saturday. I'm going to play. Nobody can hear anything. I have no idea what's wrong. I didn't realize this would be an issue.

Everything's broken. I'm trying to figure it out. It takes me 50 or so minutes to figure out why it's not working. I have to download an application for it. Apparently, streaming game audio through OBS is a nightmare. So I had to install all these plugins. So then I eventually, I get the game audio going. That's nightmare so i had to install these plugins so then i eventually i get the game audio going that's working but i've burnt my first hour so i don't even start donkey kong until 1 a.m so then i start playing and we're playing for it's

going well i'm playing through the game and uh the audio stops working once again and i was like ah that's a that's an annoying thing and i'm checking through my settings it's not obs it's specifically with the emulator I'm using and I can't do anything to fix it so I thought oh you know what oh this is I'd want this to be the best experience possible for the people I'll save my game and I'll reboot my emulator and then we'll go back to it they'll have audio so I do all that and it doesn't remember my save file. So I played for one hour, first hour, 12 to one technical difficulties play for an hour, one to two,

the audio breaks. I lose my save file. I'm back at the beginning and that window of time and which I had reset the game. I'd been trying to play for two hours at this point. I take the stream offline for like three minutes to reboot it. And Gavin texts me, hey, where's my stream? You told me you'd be streaming this.

Where is it? And I'm like, you motherfucker. I'm resetting it for a minute. And I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose all my progress. Go fuck yourself. That's where my stream is. If only this had happened before and we warned you about this shitty emulator setup.

And what, you just decided it would be fine this time? Well, I think what you told us was this is the easiest solution. And I've already done it and I know it works. To be fair, okay, so there was I think there is a way to save, I just don't know how to do it. I had changed the emulator I was using. Control-S.

Previously, and I think there is a control that was funny um I just can't I don't know I need to figure that out so anyway that increases the risk for me because if at any point my emulator crashes my computer like the power goes off for a minute if my emulator goes down I lose all of my progress no matter where i'm at i cannot save i need to keep everything going so i played i think from 2 a.m until 8 a.m fell asleep woke up two hours later and didn't sleep again the rest of the way it took me 29 hours to beat donkey kong 64 i think i played like 26 of those 29 hours. It was a grind. 26 hours to beat it. That was not the quoted time that you said.

No, it was. So what I realized is the game fucking sucks. I already knew that. It's a terrible game. In the middle of this experience, I had the realization that I don't think I've hated anybody's childhood more than Gavin's. Between the tuxedo and donkey kong 64 your childhood was atrocious as far as you can't you they're not together like i didn't

like the tuxedo but i loved donkey kong but it's all part of your childhood everything we keep dabbling into your childhood and everything about it stinks it's not fun it's um the game is atrocious so how it works is you need bananas you need golden bananas to open doors and then you need a certain number of level bananas that are different colors for each character to fight the boss of the level so i just once i had enough golden bananas which i was able to do in the first two or three levels i just sped run through the game collecting the bananas to fight the bosses so they're like the last three levels I didn't even really play I was just collecting bananas to get there and it was just painful by the end of it I think 80 of the way through I lost game audio again

people are like where's the audio and I was like I'm so sorry I cannot I can't risk this because it is one of the worst games I've played in a really long time. It is painfully bad. It's tedious. It's just terrible. I cannot afford. My soul does not have another reset in me. 75% of the way through. So it's like trying to land a plane that is duct taped together.

I was so worried that the like the first sign of the emulator crashing was going to be that the audio goes out. Then I got stuck on a bus that requires audio cues so that was fun for like 50 minutes i figured that out eventually is that the cannon into the thing the cardboard cut out yeah it's the cardboard cutout boss luckily there's a pattern that is also visual but all of the guides are like yeah just listen for this sound and then i was like you're fucking this is i might be stuck here i might not be able to do this i have no audio uh i get through that it is now 5 a.m elden ring is a really popular game right now i feel like the creator of those dark souls games was a big donkey kong 64 van because the final boss is such bullshit it is horrendous it's a cool it's a cool background i i wouldn't know because I've never

got to that as a kid and I've never beaten the game, but I've seen videos and it's a five round fight made up of smaller rounds and if you lose at any point, you have to start the entire fight again. You basically have to play as Donkey Kong,

Diddy Kong, Tiny Kong and if you lose then you're all the way back to Donkey Kong. It is a lot of staying alive to get to that point. So it's five rounds you have to play as each Kong. If you die at any point, there's no checkpoint. You have to go back to the beginning. It probably is like a

10 to 15 minute boss fight in its entirety. So doing this at like 5am, I'm exhausted. I'm so sick of these fucking Kongs. I'm having to restart over and over. It was so bad, Gavin texted me like, this is bad. This is terrible. But I got through it.

I beat it Sunday. I think it was like 5 a.m. my time, and I won the bet. Undefeated in gaming-related bets. Very specific caveat. This is where I was watching it from that is oh were you on your way to England yep I was watching it from my living room it was pretty that was me landing at Heathrow and I just whipped it on dude that's awesome it's the things that break your so as Gavin said the reason

in the past he never beat it because you have to replay three levels of the original Donkey Kong in a row to get a coin that you need to progress through the story. And it sucks. It's a difficult game to play. He could never finish it. And it took me a while. It took me, I want to say, 80 minutes or so to beat this thing. And it was very stressful. And I'm so excited.

I was like, yeah, I fucking did it. Like, finally. Like, this is one of the hurdles to get through one of the toughest parts of this thing they make you do it twice you have to do it twice in a row I forgot about that it was so deflating to do it and get essentially nothing for it and then immediately just be like yeah do it again just do it again for no reason it's pretty sadistic game it fucking sucks how long did it take you to do the final boss? The final boss took me probably an hour.

How many times do you think you died in the process? Probably like five or six, I'd say. It was, I think, in a different... It's the fear of my emulator resetting everything. As I got further into the game, that part of it became more stressful. So it's 5 a.m I'm stressed and just trying to get through that was a nightmare we really tried to steer you away from putting

yourself in that situation but you were adamant about it you were yeah no it's that was I'm not I'm not blaming anybody for that part of it that's my fuck up but it was fun to do overall my only problem with this stream and the previous halo ones that you guys have done is I love to get in and watch them. And I watched way more of this one than I commented on. Because anytime I get in the chat and try to talk to people, they just accuse me of not being me. And then I have to jump through hoops to try to convince people that I am me. And I just give up. I'm tired of it.

I'm just going to come up with, I'm just going to go in as a different name. It's like I can't ever have a conversation without getting yelled at by 30 people to stop pretending to be me i'm the same way i think uh who was it that banned me from their twitch chat it's an imposter i don't remember what it was it was maybe it was it was like years ago a reddit post or something where i was posting as me and they didn't believe it was me. So I had to take a photo of myself holding like what day it was. It was this insane verification. It felt like a hostage situation.

It was absurd. It was just for some nonsense take that had like zero relevance to anything. It's just bullshit. Yeah, that was fun. So I won the bet. You need to wear 64 pieces of clothing on an RT podcast at some point. I get

to pick one of those pieces of clothing. I'm going to be, I kind of have an idea right now, but I'll talk to Jeff about it. I'd love to get his opinion on it. So this is actually great because I have been on the RT podcast twice this week because this week wasn't busy enough.

So I said, fuck it, I'll go on some other people's podcast, too. So I had to do the RT podcast twice this week. And both times, because it was different casts, people have said, so, Gavin, he doesn't come on the RT podcast anymore. And I got to go, well, I know he'll be on at least once more. I can guarantee that. Very accurate. Well, shit. Hmm.

It's going to be a sweaty one. I believe as soon as I won, Gavin immediately texted me, I need to buy some ties. Yeah, I did. We'll figure that out, though. I have an idea. I'd like to hear your thoughts, though, Jeff.

And at some point, at some point, Gavin will be wearing 64 pieces of clothing that's very exciting a socks two or one uh what do you mean like is a pair one or just two socks no one sock is a sock so if you have a pair of socks is two socks like yeah yeah wow. Wow. Generous. Eric disagrees. I think that's fair. I think that's like I'd be breaking what a sock is. Like it's just I'd be changing

the definition at that point. Eric, why do you have such a problem with that? Because it's a pair of socks because you don't wear Yeah, but they say they say pair of pants too.

Okay. Yeah, like if I if I put on one glove am I wearing half of clothes? Right. But you don't typically you could typically wear one glove. You put on one glove am i wearing half of clothes right but but you don't typically you could typically wear one glove you can wear one glove doing something typically two socks are worn okay so a pair of socks i think listen what if you've only got one leg for for

for a podcast that's so hung up on regulation i think it's very strange to draw the line where the two socks are individual things instead of one, especially after we sold socks and we had to sell them together, so I don't understand what the issue is. To me, it doesn't make sense. But if you buy a pair of socks, it's two socks. Yeah, Nick says isn't a pair

two things. Yeah. Right, yes. But again, typically when things are regulation worn, it's two socks or one item. I mean, I understand what you're saying. I have no dog in this fight. I have no problem acquiescing to this. What do I care?

I don't have to wear all the things. It's fine. I'm just saying that that's how it feels to me. I feel like I'm talking to me. Like this is the reverse. Like I'm on the other side for once in one of these things. You know, I understand what you're saying, but I don't know why.

Go ahead, Jeff. Eric's argument is persuasive. I think I might be on Eric's side now. I think I might be on Eric's side now. How often are you walking around with one sock? That's my thing. I don't think that matters. You can't go up to someone and say, hey, throw me that socks.

What can you say, Gavin? What would be the appropriate? Have you ever asked anyone the socks plural of that sock? I feel like no matter like no matter what word you use, that's still a weird sentence to say to someone. You're getting hung up on the thing that you're not wearing. to say to someone you're getting hung up on the thing that you're not wearing i am hung up on the thing that you are wearing where it is two socks are typically counted like they're one item a pair a pair of socks is like what you don't typically wear one sock that's what i'm saying again they can be individual one sock can be one sock i'm i say go for it i'm just i'm saying that in terms

of an outfit it just it's strange to me. I think you're completely right. But I think by definition, if somebody was like... Are you agreeing with me and then telling me that... No. I'm agreeing with the point you're saying,

but I'm disagreeing with its use in this context. I'm agreeing with what you're saying in the sense of like, if someone buys... A sock is like two socks is sold as an individual item. It's one. But in the context of if Gavin were to put one sock on,

we wouldn't consider that a half an item. I'll say this, Andrew, that was spoken like a true internet lawyer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you still certified up on the website? Oh, I'm still getting updates all the time for Hire Judge.

I get like two a week. That's such a throwback. That was over a year ago. It's really easy to get in. Deep lore, Gavin. Deep lore. I think Eric is more like Andrew than he was when we started F*** Face. I think Andrew

is rubbed off on him. I definitely think that there's, I think that I lean into it in this show because regulation is so important for this show for, for face jam or any other show who cares for this show. Regulation is apparently the most important thing in the fucking world. So I, I'm just trying to figure out what the regulation sock is. You know what eric

i i agree with you i think that's correct i think regulation is the most important thing in this show i think regulation is a sock eric would you be able to arrange me a fan for whenever we do that podcast you want you want like somebody to come and cheer you on or you want something to blow air at you probably the air thing okay yeah let's see what yeah i'll get you i'll get you one of those little ones like you know like the little fan that you hold and like sip like a drink like a hand yeah like a hand like she's a triple a battery type fan oh you're talking about like a paper fan i think socks count i don't think something... I think the clothing has to be surface level. Like, it has to appear.

Like, you couldn't wear, like, 20 pairs of underwear. What if you wore them over your pants? Then that's allowed. As long as it's a building up and not down. I can't wear 20 underwear? Well, as long as they're in front of the pants, I think, is the regulation. Well, does the initial pair of underwear count?

The initial pair counts. Like underwear count, pants count, and then anything over pants counts. Okay, cool, cool. But you can't go underwear, underwear, underwear, pants, Gavin, which maybe you normally do, and if you do, I would understand if I had the same body issues you do, but

they won't count in this instance. Yeah, I don't think I've done that since I had food poisoning that one time. God, I had food poisoning. They make gloves for individual fingers. Why would they make that? Unless it's like one of those shitty, like, oh, look at how wacky I am.

I got finger gloves. You know what? If you start talking individual finger gloves, I'm definitely going over to eric's side cut that shit off look it's a bet against andrew i have to loophole this somehow i've got to do what he would do that's true that's a good point i don't know 64 paper crowns from christmas crackers you couldn't fit 64 crowns on your head hmm seems like a challenge there's a zero i couldn't fit 64 crowns on your head. Seems like a challenge. There's a zero percent.

I couldn't fit one on my head. It's a nightmare. The Christmas cracker crown head is way too big for that. I'm going to text you the thing that I was thinking of, Jeff, and I'll just get your immediate live reaction on the podcast. Next time. Well, I guess we're recording too so next week or whenever we record again not in that next episode we'll lock it in i'll find something that we could

definitively share but this is sort of where my head's at just the the top part of what i just my initial thought oh pulling it up right now and i guess you should probably oh yeah so i'm yes okay excellent excellent excellent excellent, excellent. I'm glad you're going in this direction. Okay. Oh, man. That's not good for me. I had that thought at some point.

And yeah, you're brilliant. This is great. It's really, really great. Fantastic. When do I find out? Next week. About 10 minutes before the podcast, probably. Next week, we'll do i have if we want to talk

about deep lore i have an update i had something happen my life that that connects all the way back to the first episode of this podcast oh real reach i got my haircut oh congratulations i haven't got my haircut since december of 2019. I got my hair cut. It was a process. Wait, so this whole time you've had really long hair? Yeah, it's gotten progressively longer with this show. I haven't had a single haircut because I was waiting. Yeah.

Are there photos? No. No photos. God damn it. That means I haven't seen you since we started F*** Face. Oh, way before then. I've never seen... Yeah, I know.

But I know in real life. But I haven't even seen you since we started face oh way before then yeah i know but i know in real life but i i haven't even seen you like on video or on a picture the entire time we've had this oh no it's my hair was like between my shoulder blades it was long i've been picturing you all wrong this whole time it's my my hair got to what the final straw was i was having issues where i'd go to like bring my neck up like i'd get to lift my head and i wouldn't realize my hair was trapped behind my back and i'd whip my head back into the pillow i was giving myself whiplash i was like i'm fucking i hate everything about this i'm done but it's as as we start stated in the first episode my guy was in a retirement home which

has been very difficult to get into during the pandemic. It's been a very restrictive part. But unfortunately for me, he retired. So I had to get a new guy. Did he go out to a farm out west with lots of space to run around in? He did. I think he actually just moved upstairs. I think since he was already there, he just took a took a place on the in the building. But I got I got my haircut and i went completely the other way i went

from a retirement home to a place that has like graffiti art on the walls and skateboards and it's the vibe is couldn't be further from the other thing it was great i think the vibe of the retirement home is closer to your personal vibe you think so all the people magazines and royalty shit on the thing people cooking noodles in their kettles but uh so i had that happen and it feels great to have short hair again i hated blowing my mind i really can't believe that every time i've been listening to you on face you've had long hair oh it's been so long blowing my. Not only has he had long hair, I bet he's had luscious locks. I bet he's like swung it out of his eyes suggestively a few times when he

laughed in the podcast. We had no idea. Is it really curly? Uh, it was, it was sort of curly. Yeah. It was just,

it was very long and annoying. I hated looking down, made looking down and annoyance. It was terrible. Um, yeah, I hated it too. I did it as well for a bit.

Yeah. I didn't wait an extra year though. Like you did. It's just, it's terrible. Yeah, I hated it, too. I did it as well for a bit. Yeah. I didn't wait an extra year, though, like you did. It's just not good. So I have a new guy. I bet you look like Glenn Danzig with long hair. I don't know why. Yeah. Anyway, how's your new guy?

New guy's great. But on the way, I was like walking around because I got there too early. So I was like, I'm just going to kill some time. So I was looking at the different stores and I walked past the sign for this bagel place called My Hubby's Bagels. And like a cute little logo. And I was like, oh, a nice like a local and new bagel place going in. This could be great. I thought it seemed really cute.

I was excited about about the bagel place. Jeff just posted. That actually isn't all that far off. You're actually pretty accurate. You're right. It did look very much like that. That's quite the forehead. It is.

That's a fantastic forehead. But I was walking around. I found that in my hubby's bagel place. And it seemed really cute. And so when I came home, I was looking at on Twitter or whatever, and I was like, ah, that's cool.

Uh, I would like updates in this place. Cause I like to get bagels from them whenever they open. It just seems like a sweet local place. So I followed them. I didn't think much of it as telling, uh, I told like some of my,

my friends about, I was like, I can counter this cute bagel place. And then like three or four days pass. And somebody, somebody said somebody said to me oh so you followed the bagel place on twitter i was like what that's a weird yeah yeah i did but like why why are you bringing this up three days later um what ended up happening was uh i accidentally followed the bagel place on the face pod Twitter account. I didn't know. I didn't know I signed in.

Is that because Twitter is great. You can have multiple accounts. You just swap between the two. I was signed in on the face pod Twitter account and somebody commented to your account. Why do you follow six people? And one of them is my hobbies bagels so if you look if you look at our twitter account it's like it's myself eric jeff gavin like the roostertea store maybe it's like one other it's a company thing and then just my hubby's bagels 23 followers and one of them is face

Off I can't take it off the reply was to the person you like what you like That's amazing do they sell t-shirts I don't they're not even open yet They're just these like I don't think that they're not even open yet. They're just, they seem like. I didn't think that ever worked, like putting your Twitter handle on your store. Like who, I was thinking like who actually ever goes and follows those? But you do. You're one of those people. Well, it's just, I would like to know when they open.

So it just seemed convenient. Like, I don't know. I'm not like going to be in that area all that often. So I was like, this will be, this will be great. I'll be able to check this out whenever I want to. You were hoping for a future and bagels it's like a pack yeah like a one two like a one two get some bagels go in get my haircut but it's just it was so funny i was so i felt so dumb that i followed and i can't wait for their perspective they haven't followed back to my knowledge um but we can hope that's such an exclusive slot they have no idea dude i just posted their website bagels look good they're gonna be more info posted soon yeah

they look great it just seemed like a cute like gay couple what if they're bigger shop it's great what if we're a bagel podcast now i'm absolutely a bagel guy so it would make sense i feel this is what we should do when as soon as we come to see you andrew maybe that's where we have our first breakfast we're gonna buy all these bagels yeah that's a great idea before we go crab and we'll go we'll eat bagels i wanted everything bagel i think those are raisins eric that is too many raisins like why would you have so many raisins with a baked good That's a lot of raisins There's a raisin bagel there

I think it's a raisin bagel I think it's like a style It's supposed to be like a look at these raisins Like these are the ingredients Not like have 150 raisins It's more like fresh ingredients right I assume so I think they're trying to be like this is the vibe

These are the fresh raisins. These are because they also they also put the cream cheese was fucking first off. Fuck cream cheese, right? They put the cream cheese in a glass container like who the fuck does that? Also, fuck glass, but that's a whole conversation for later. Fuck glass. Fuck glass. That'll be next

episode. Fuck glass. It seems to be a big pile of cinnamon. Yeah, nobody's going to be a big pile of cinnamon. Yeah, nobody's going to eat that much cinnamon unless they're doing a TikTok challenge. So you have a problem with glass next episode. Fuck glass. I don't want to talk about this. We got too much other stuff to talk about. Fucking glass.

I'm just sick of it. How was Europe? Gavin, how was that? It was good. Good times. Saw some family. When I got back, I actually went to Tumble 22. Nice little chicken place.

It's Nashville hot chicken, if you're wondering. It's delicious. Yeah, and the waitress there, she mentioned that she was listening to face and i realized it my favorite thing in the world is when someone who is currently working has to say that they like a podcast called face it just sounds so funny and like in a professional environment like oh can i get these out of your way do you want this thing it's like by the way i really love face like people around listening it's so good and it wasn't like a just a generic like oh it's

a good podcast it was she was literally like right up to date she was complaining about how terrible your list was andrew of 20 000 things and i was like i was like damn that's like the most recent one to come out she's really up to date she told gavin he salad creamed the list yeah and then we were talking jeff and i were talking about how it's so fun that we have like She told Gavin he salad creamed the list. Yeah, and then we were talking, Jeff and I were talking about how it's so fun that we have like our own little language almost amongst the listeners. Yeah, like the, I would love to see like a face dictionary

with all the face verbs. Like face. Salad cream. I wonder what bagel will be a verb for someday post the photos of it in the chat they have 23 followers and the second one is who f***ed face followed by f***ed face

we've gotta go there we've to get added to the list of the immensely long list of things we've got to we've got not to go there oh my god we have to spend more than a week there i feel like andrew you're secretly dreading us eventually showing up in your hometown. I think you're going to hate it. Why do you think that? Do you think I think that or do you think I will end up hating it? No, I don't think you should hate it. I just think you're dreading that moment.

I get the same when we're actually nearby you. Really? No, it's the opposite because I feel I'm going to get validated first of all about my door situation. That'll be the first thing. It's going to be a very validating trip for me because I think you're going to be on board with that then you're going to actually go into my place and realize the fucking hall of mirrors that I live in and how absurd that I'm just explaining it correctly but none of this I feel like it's going to be a real eye-opening trip for the two of you and we can go get bagels I think it's going gonna be a great time i'm so excited for what it eventually happens

it's uh yeah i think we're gonna i appreciate jeff thinking we need a week i don't know what we're gonna do we're going crabbing do you have any do you have well we might do a bathtub race depending on what time of year we go up there although Although I refuse to step foot in Canada in June. That's not going to happen. Are there any museums on your island? Yeah, there's a museum. There is a museum. There's a few museums. Check out the museum.

Maybe go to... Learn about the Nanaimo Bar. We can play tennis. You don't know the Nanaimo Bar, Gavin? What's the Nanaimo Bar? It's like the only thing that the place I live in is known for. It's a dessert. It's called the Nanaimo Bar.

It's a pastry type. You don't bake it, I don't think, is what makes it unique. It's like chocolate. It's raw pastry? Well, it's like a chocolate brownie type thing. It's like chocolate with a layer of icing and i'm into it i will get three of them yeah one of those there's coconut the traditional recipe is is walnuts in the bottom but people also use coconut as a replacement oh i feel like

i've had that before yeah i'm sure you have it's it's the Nanaimo bar it's all we have we have that in bathtub racing. And Andrew Panton. And the Vancouver child kicker. That's innate. Well, that's alleged. You know, we don't know who that is. We don't know where that belongs. Vancouver, technically, not even Nanaimo.

It's a different place. Can't take credit on that. Oh, that does look yummy. I'm trying to think if we have anything else. They're okay. I don't love them. Is there anything else we can do? What does Nanaimo have to offer?

We can play tennis. We can do the ladder drill. Yeah, we have that. We have a curling rink. You probably don't have one of those. We'll go curling. I mean, isn't that just an ice rink, though? Is that like a separate, specific rink?

Yeah, it's a different rink. You can't just ice skate on the curling rink. So we have to do teams, then? I guess so who's on whose team? Not it I assume Eric and Nick also come in no Is that you don't want to be on my team? I need to review the video before I make any draft picks. I need to see the shovel work done by both of you to determine who I think would be the best on the field. Do you think shoveling skills translate to curling?

I think because the broom, you got the person on the broom in the front. The broom isn't... You don't stab the ice with the broom. You got the person on the broom in the front. You don't stab the ice with the broom. No, but mechanically, they're very similar motions. What are you talking about? I'll say this of Gavin's shoveling skills, Andrew, if it helps. That video, we had about an hour's worth of footage, raw footage. Gavin put all of his shoveling stuff in the video you saw.

That's bullshit. I didn't shovel for one second longer than what you watched. That's bullshit. Hayden's shoveled for one second longer than what you watched. You watched the entirety of his effort. All right, let's just see how the main cut of this video turns out. I go to the foot and say... I would say, yeah, it was mainly me filming.

No, I'm just kidding. You filmed a lot. I probably put in like 20, 25% of the digging. You did two shifts. You certainly broke the hammer. That was good. Yeah. I thought that hammer thing was such a good idea.

It was. It made a great video. Can you send me that later, Gavin? That video? I just need to have it in my life. I need to be able to go back and watch it. Are you going to be watching that event tonight? Yeah, I will.

I'll be laying down. You sent me a video once of your trash cans getting hit over and over. It's like a three... It was like a three-act story of like your trash can got stolen and then you got a new one and then the garbage truck took it and then you got a new one

and then somebody hit it with a car. And that is the video that I just... Yeah. It was... Well, that's what doesn't really come across in the video is that when... And it's recycling, so it's every two weeks. When your recycling gets eaten,

they don't bring another one until like the next cycle. So I'm missing a recycling. I wait two weeks for one to come. I have it for a week. It gets swallowed again by the truck. I request another one. We're talking like six weeks in at this point. I'm on my third bin. The neighbor steals

it. I request another one. And then finally a car drives into it because my alcoholic neighbors went for a drive. I'm a lot faster at bringing them in now. You live the real story of these people hate cans,

but it's just everybody and specifically yours. It's just your can. I missed you guys. This is a lot of fun. I missed you too, man. I missed you too. I missed all you guys. I'm excited to play Halo again too.

We need to do that. We need to play games again. We need to record another episode. There's another thing we need to do. We should probably wrap up. Let's do that right now. On this one. Then go into the next one.

Well, there you go. You've gone and listened to... That's my car talking. Listened to Wasted Another Hour. Listening to Click and Clack and Jeff and Gavin and Eric and Nick and, oh, Andrew. And we sure hope you enjoyed it because we enjoyed catching up

and, you know, mixing it up a little bit, shooting the shit as it were. And it was a good time. And so if you thought it was a good time, why don't you go ahead and drop a little like down there or a plus one or, I don't know, five stars out of five. If there are more options, put more stars. If it's 10 out of 10 stars, do the 10 stars.

If it's on a 100 scale, give us, you don't have to give us 100, but give us like a 98 at least. Make us at least as good as a condom is effective. And we'll see you next time. Hey, guys. Minor League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. It's episode 96 and the fridge strikes back. The boys go cup crazy.

Gavin has a good cat back. Tommy Lee Jones is a F*** Face fan. Jeff is ready to hit some balls. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F***face.