F**kface - What Does Andrew Look Like? // Shirt Havers? [102]

Episode Date: May 11, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Andrew has a beard?, Norm MacDonald, The Challenge, Regulation Listener vs Comment Leaver shirts, never ask a chicken's name, Guess Who Might Be Dead Round 2: Movie... Version, and Anal Passage Saga. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to ffacebits@gmail.com Sponsored by Raycon (http://buyraycon.com/face), Honey (http://joinhoney.com/face), and ShipStation (http://shipstation.com + code FACE) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma, is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics, groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics. Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation of Beastrin.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice. Your choice, that is. From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills. And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in This is a Rooster Teeth production. Previously on F*** Face. Oh, I got it. My beard. My beard is all beefy. You have a beard? I have a beefy beard. Yeah, hold on, let's get into the podcast. Hello and welcome to episode 102 of the F*** Face Podcast.
Starting point is 00:01:49 My name is Geoff Ramsey. With me, as always, Andrew Pant and Gavin Free. This is, just for posterity's sake, this is year two, season four. Andrew, you have a beard? Yeah, I have a beard currently. I don't know what you look like. My mental image is never right. You need to describe yourself every month just so I've got a beard, currently. I don't know what you look like. My mental image is never right. You need to describe yourself every month,
Starting point is 00:02:07 just so I've got a good mental image. Yeah, okay. Well, it's the same as before. I have short hair. That's still the same. And I have a beard, currently. How long is the beard? Is it like a jack beard?
Starting point is 00:02:17 No, it's like a small... It's not. It's a very mediocre beard. It's not a great beard. Is it full coverage, or is it trimmed in areas? It's full coverage, but it's just not super full. It's not a great beard. We talking full coverage, or is it like trimmed in areas? It's full coverage, but it's just not like super full. It's not a great beard. You don't sound like you have a beard.
Starting point is 00:02:30 I do. I can tell you, I can smell it right now. I got Bovril in it from the pop, and it is not good. A beefy beard right now. It smells terrible. Bovril smells worse than it tastes. Yeah, I think I'd agree with that. In my experience.
Starting point is 00:02:44 Having had salad cream prior to that, it being frozen made it so much worse. I had something about the smell and the texture. Not even froze, just super cold. It wasn't frozen at all. What did it do to the texture? Did it make it more congealed? Was it more solid or was it just very cold?
Starting point is 00:03:00 It was more congealed. It felt more solid and just it has such a strong taste and it's just so overpowering that was gross i hate that we did frozen pops and my favorite beverage of cold my cold my cold beverage of choice coke was the one that wasn't picked the only my favorite cold thing was the one that was left off oh you know, I will say, through the course of spending that week in the UK and then going to that community meetup, I talked to a lot of people. Bovril, pretty universally not
Starting point is 00:03:32 loved, but every single person to a fault loves Salad Cream and Branson Pickle. Hell yeah. Couldn't say enough good things about them. Yeah. They were very popular over there, apparently. I'm so glad I didn't go with Branson Pickle. That was a consideration of one of the ice pop flavors. Frozen Branson pickle would be very interesting.
Starting point is 00:03:48 I wasn't sure if I'd be able to freeze it with the texture of it and like the contents. I wasn't sure how that would equal out. But salad cream certainly didn't work. Well, I think we have some new recipes for the face cooks. Oh, Jesus Christ. Cookbook when we finally make it. So since we do you want to you want to ask your questions now since it's fresh in your mind? Another episode, another two guesses for you both?
Starting point is 00:04:10 Yeah. Gavin, you can go first. Was this person in Flukface? No. Oh, shit. Oh, God. You need to come up with like a list of possible people. Do you have a question, Jeff, that you'd like to ask?
Starting point is 00:04:22 Then maybe it will help Gavin with his guess. I can't. I'm't. I'm struggling. I'm struggling to remember what we've already asked. I want to ask, but I'm scared I've already asked. OK. If they're related to if they're like one of the online lawyers, if they're related to that whole segment.
Starting point is 00:04:38 I don't I also don't remember if you've asked that, but I'll just say no, they're not. OK, OK. I might have to give another clue out with the rate we're currently going. Why don't you? Yeah. Why? You're putting me on the spot. I don't want to just give it away with a clue.
Starting point is 00:04:49 I don't trust myself to not give a very... I will say... Okay, so a previous question you had asked was, has anybody gotten this correct yet? There have been lots of comments about it. And I said, not fully. That is no longer the case. One person has made a completely correct guess as far as what this is. I'm going to have to sift through comments. So season two.
Starting point is 00:05:09 Can I tell you the worst guess that anyone's made so far? Is it the one I made last? No, it's actually worse. I'd be impressed if you had a worse guess than this one. And this was done in a message that was very sweet. So it wasn't like a bit. They didn't have an awareness of this.
Starting point is 00:05:26 And I didn't know how to reply to it. They guessed that the voice was Norm MacDonald. What? A, dead. B, exceptionally distinctive voice and cadence. That's a double layer. It's the worst guess by far. If I was able to get somebody who is dead to do the previously on,
Starting point is 00:05:44 could you imagine bringing somebody back to just do a previously on voice? That was why they came back. I mean, the previously on voice, the guy sounds like he's got a surfboard in his hands. Really? And that's not what Norm MacDonald sounds like. No, no, it does not. But that's been my favorite of the worst guesses I've gotten by far. So that being said, do you have a guess, Jeff?
Starting point is 00:06:04 Is it Billy Ripken? It's not. I wish it'd be a great one now. Yeah, I don't I know it's I know it's not. It's way too young. I just don't know what else to ask. Yeah, that's fair. Process of elimination.
Starting point is 00:06:16 Totally. We should probably write down your questions and guesses throughout this. I also appreciate that you went with one that I think you already asked when Nick wrote out a much better guess that you just didn't use while you were saying it. Oh, I wasn't looking at the Discord. Let me see. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think it sounds too young to be your barber.
Starting point is 00:06:34 I considered that as well. Interesting. Because your barber's like 105. No, that was my old one. I got a new guy. New, much younger. I swapped out. Gav, do you want to ask a question?
Starting point is 00:06:43 You can still make a guess. Was it a delivery driver that you've had in the past? No, it's not. I thought you already guessed, too. That's how much these popsicles have taken out of me. No, I asked a question. I don't think I guessed. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:55 He didn't make a guess. I'm still gathering from that. So Jeff went to the UK. What did you do, Gavin, since we last recorded? I was just here. You were just here? We played Halo we did play Halo it's very weird Gavin brought up that it's because you were in the UK Jeff
Starting point is 00:07:10 that it's the first time I think we've not recorded an episode because you were like it wasn't him so him just being available for the week it's a very strange thing like it's an odd rhythm to get out of it's nice when we're weekly usually when jeff's gone and i'm still here i get pulled into off topic or something but that didn't happen i'm not sure achievement hunter knew that face was off but yeah i ended up just having a free period where i just played halo with you i was i did my taxes we had an exciting well you were away jeff we had so much fun gavin did nothing and i filed taxes i was waiting for you to get home from your taxes. Yeah, it sounds like you guys really took advantage of.
Starting point is 00:07:51 I was very excited to see you text me, Jeff. You were down watching the challenge. One of my favorite reality shows of all time. Yeah, Survivor. Yeah, I I started watching it. I don't remember why. I think we're just in the hotel room and bored and it was on. And I was like, fuck it.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Let's give this a shot. And I And I honestly forgot about it until this moment. So thank you for reminding me that I needed to finish watching that show. Because I was quite enjoying it. I found that the challenges to the challenge... I'll say half of the enjoyment of reality TV for me is watching people just like just mishandle their lives. The other half of reality TV that I enjoy is watching games that people play, like the inventiveness, the creation of the games. It's why I love it's why I enjoy Big Brother. Sometimes it's obviously why I like Survivor.
Starting point is 00:08:46 obviously why i like survivor and the challenge has some really interesting like legitimately physically demanding uh maybe more so even than survivor challenges and i'm kind of fascinated by that like they are no joke the challenges yeah they they get ridiculous and it's for me it's a great mix of the social politics of survivor but from much dumber trashier people yeah and then all the same people like there's a guy on there named ct who i think he did his first challenge when he was 27 he's 41 now i want to say and he's been on essentially every season so it's like you have all this build-up of bullshit from like decades that's also interesting like it is such a, like a, like you see people, like the season I watched, there's somebody I recognized from Survivor on.
Starting point is 00:09:28 So that was cool. Yes. And there was somebody from Big Brother who I didn't know, but it's cool to see the inner, the interplay of, of different reality shows. But mostly there seems to be a core group of people who just live in this challenge. Yes.
Starting point is 00:09:43 Universe. And it's their entire lives to the point where they're like, they'll, I, interesting dynamics. just live in this challenge universe. And it's their entire lives. To the point where they're like, they'll, interesting dynamics, the first people that get voted out are people that are on the show for the first time. Like the worst thing you can do is be on your first season of that show.
Starting point is 00:09:58 You are instantly gone. They're like, you gotta pay your dues. You gotta take your lumps. Get the fuck out of here. See you next year. And then it's like brutal. They don't even care. They're just like, yeah, it's gotta take your lumps get the fuck out of here see you next year and then uh it's like brutal and they don't even care they're just like yeah it's your first time get the fuck out and for other people it's like a full-time job it's like their entire lives yeah it's all they do and it's it's just it's an absurd there's so many great as it's progressed it's gotten more into the physical side and it being really challenging
Starting point is 00:10:23 on the earlier seasons. It was just like a giant party where people were fucking up. They had to die all the vodka because people were smuggling them in their water bottles to do the challenges and just getting drunk like while they were competing. There'd be time where cast members would just like leave and go into the city and they'd have to shut down production for like four days because three of the contestants were just partying in Africa and they lost them and it's now a much less fun show but way more serious it's just dumb there's so much great pettiness to it I think dumb is the great way to describe it it's like if you're not familiar with that show it's like all the the dumbest people on Temptation Island and Love Island but who aggressively want to win a contest, a competition. Yes. Like, the goal is not to find love.
Starting point is 00:11:10 Love is like a byproduct of apparently getting drunk enough and being available in the night, but they legitimately want to win these physical competitions. So it's all it's like the dumbest, meatiest people going head to head. It's fucking great.
Starting point is 00:11:25 I'm going to send you a post to collect one of, I think, the greatest edited videos of all time. I've shown this to Eric before. Somebody added together an argument between CT, who I mentioned, and another regular named Wes. Watch this, Gavin. It's like 60 seconds long. I feel like this summarizes the energy of the show fully. It's a fantastic breakdown. All right, I'm watching this now.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Should we watch this right now? Yeah, yeah, let's play it. Is this guy hammered? Oh, yeah. This is what the show is. It's just aggressively screaming. All he does is smash heads. Is this as it is in the show? Like how it was edited uh no this is somebody okay it's unfortunately
Starting point is 00:12:11 censored when you see it live but just die die die the time stamps are so funny man i hope they ran that as a trailer so a great great thing about CT is he was banned for like six seasons because he kept fighting people. He fucked the guy up like they couldn't. It took like seven security guards to hold him back. And he just annihilated the tiniest guy on the cast. But he's back now. He's now a lovable character. Which one was CT in that clip?
Starting point is 00:12:42 CT was the die, die, die guy. Die, die, die. the other guy is a bad guy on the season i'm watching yes and he's always been a bad guy he's been like a bad guy forever one of my favorite i mean not to go too deep on the challenge my favorite like petty dumb thing is there is this issue where a woman had a note left in her bed saying that i know you're just sleeping with him for his vote or something like that. And it caused all this drama. And then the notes started getting left out throughout the whole season. They're like, who the fuck is leaving notes? And like they're trying to they have they made everybody write down one of the messages to try to match the writing.
Starting point is 00:13:17 And then somebody revealed that him and his sister wrote all the notes before they came on. Like he had his sister write them. So it wouldn't match anybody. And they're just generic messages that he wanted to apply throughout the season. So like it wasn't aimed at anyone specific. He just had this bag of notes that he could deploy and it caused complete chaos in the house. It's fantastic. It's a great series.
Starting point is 00:13:37 I would highly recommend anybody watch The Challenge, especially the earlier seasons of it. The other night I watched Being John Malkovich, which I hadn't seen in a long time you've ever seen that i've never seen it i've always wanted to i hear it's so good it's i mean it's weird it's pretty good yeah i was watching it and i was like this is so weird i wonder how this i wouldn't know what to do if i was hard of hearing right now because there's a bit where basically one woman is in love with cameron diaz but only when cameron diaz is inside
Starting point is 00:14:07 john malkovich so they like meet up but only when she's in malkovich and at one point they start having sex and like different people are talking like you can hear cameron diaz and you can hear john malkovich and you can hear the other woman and i was like what the hell is going what is what are the subtitles doing right now and i just turned on the subtitles and i just laughed my ass off just says unzipping and then just both characters voting i was like yeah i mean sure it would be honestly the most confusing movie to watch without one of your senses i i recommend watching it though so it's weird as shit i'll add it to my list i need to watch without one of your senses. I recommend watching it, though. It's weird as shit. I'll add it to my list.
Starting point is 00:14:45 I need to watch The Long Kiss Goodnight. That's high on my queue now. That's a great movie. We were... That's a terrible movie. That's a great movie. You talk about it's a... What's-Her-Face,
Starting point is 00:14:58 and Samuel Jackson's in it, too, right? Yes. So I haven't seen it. Rennie Harlan is my favorite schlock director of all time. I don't think he's ever made a genuinely good movie, but he makes really fun bad movies, like consistently. Is it Geena Davis who's
Starting point is 00:15:13 the... Yeah, I think that's right. Like a sleeper agent or something. And she doesn't realize, she's like chopping up the vegetables and then she's like a fucking badass. She doesn't realize. I saw that movie in the theater. I haven't seen it since, So maybe it doesn't hold up after 30 years, but I remember loving it. I'm excited to see it.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Eric is live. Why are we shy? They click this. Oh, let's watch Eric watching Eric. I wanted to show you guys. I didn't put it in the chat, but I got the shirt.
Starting point is 00:15:39 Are we, are we good to go? Can I send, can I send to that? Yes. Yes. I think that's good. Yes. Okay. I just wanted to go? Can I send that? Yes. Yes, I think that's good. Yes, yes!
Starting point is 00:15:47 I just wanted to make sure. Just for people at home, just so you know, we can't put it in the chat. This is the eighth passage shirt. That's a great point. That's great. Okay, cool. So I'll let them know to send it. By the time you listen to this episode, I don't know
Starting point is 00:16:03 if you can still get this shirt. You can try. sure you can uh but the anal passage shirt uh is was on sale and is now probably gone so i hope you enjoyed fantastic when are we is that going up tomorrow at noon so when is yeah wait uh people are only going to be able to buy it without before the podcast came yeah i think they're let me read you the description for the shirt, which I've lifted from the annual past shirt. Theme parks are opening their gates and the scent of fresh chili dogs hangs in the air. It's anal passage season, and that means it's time to grab a new AP Marquis tee
Starting point is 00:16:38 to celebrate the most wonderful time of the year. Listen to episode 101. That's fantastic. That's fantastic that's fantastic that's gonna be a great little easter egg for people to find it oh man yes i was worried in between episodes that jack would be genuinely mad at that one well well it's gonna it's gonna come out and release before he could react to it like it sounds like that shirt will be available tomorrow doesn't matter i guess i released a fucking a face shirt of him with his dumb bald head that was up for like four days and then told
Starting point is 00:17:12 him he could get revenge on me whenever he wanted to and he's too lazy to do it so i wouldn't worry too much even if he is mad he's just gonna stew with his own juices he's not gonna do anything about it um so so this will go on sale at the time of this recording it'll go on sale tomorrow at the time of you listening to this episode it will have already been on sale and you can no longer get it i assume we assume yeah say if if we're on the subject of of shirts can i bring something up real quick that uh yes me and andrew were in the yeah we were in the merch meeting earlier today, and we got the numbers for the regulation listener and comment lever shirts, and they did well. However, one did way better than the other, though. Regulation listener did like five times the numbers that comment lever did.
Starting point is 00:18:05 did and i need people to really take a long hard look at themselves if they're a regulation listener or a comment lever because i have a feeling there were a lot of people who bought regulation listener shirts who are truly comment levers i have absolute proof of this where it on the the face twitter account just as a joke to myself like it was we tweeted are you a regulation listener are you a comment lever and a lot of people like the first five were all like i'm right i'm a regulation listener it's like i don't think you understand how this works you need to buy the other shirt if you go on the subreddit it's like these people who like jump through these hoops on well i'm leaving a comment here but it's not on the show so really i'm a regulation listener and it's like no you're leaving a comment on something your comment lever you've left a comment on something from the show.
Starting point is 00:18:46 You're a comment leaver. You've left a comment. The joy in my head of this entire premise is, you know, like if you're in an audience or whatever, it'd be like, everybody who's a comment leaver say, hey! Like, there'd be like a big response. Everybody who's a regulation listener, just nothing. That's what's funny to me about it. Like, there should be a zero response.
Starting point is 00:19:03 It should seem like an empty room. I mean, it makes total sense, though, that the regulation listener sells better, because there are more people who don't comment. But I don't... The numbers indicate to me that there is a discrepancy in people that are just not, as Eric said,
Starting point is 00:19:17 coming to terms with the fact that they're, in fact, a comment leader. It's either people lying to themselves or they're just confused. Because I think the regulation listener just as itself plays in a really funny way it's not indicative of anything it's just you regulation listen like if somebody saw someone wear that without any context like it means nothing it means they listen to things i guess but there's an absolute comment lever denial happening and it's okay to be a comment lever.
Starting point is 00:19:46 I'm a comment lever. I'm way more a comment lever than you comment on other stuff. Other people's stuff. I've commented on stuff relating to this show. Yeah, but you're on this show. That doesn't count. No, I'm definitely a comment lever. I've commented on the show.
Starting point is 00:19:59 You can't comment leave your own show. You absolutely can. Yeah. That's a ridiculous take. That's not weird, though. It's weird to leave a comment on someone else's show. That's the whole point of a comment leaver, isn't it? I would maybe argue it's more weird to comment publicly
Starting point is 00:20:12 on a show that I'm on when I don't need to comment. When I have channels internally to do it, I think it's maybe weirder that I'm doing it publicly. But Eric's whole point was like, who leaves a comment? But if you're on the show, it makes sense for you to leave the comment. Nah, I don't think it does. If I'm just commenting about it, you know i might just say hey good app good i think we need to include people who've never even heard of the show we need one that's just a shirt buyer
Starting point is 00:20:34 you want a shirt that just says shirt buyer like i don't think that works and they don't think that works. If they don't understand comment, leave, and regulation list there, then it'd either apply. But they would never buy the shirt. They need to know to get to the shirt. What are you talking about? So then they would be, so then you have a shirt that says non-shirt buyer? No, you can't have a shirt that says non-shirt buyer because that's impossible.
Starting point is 00:21:02 You're saying, Gavin, like like a lost child they somehow end up in the store and then they don't know what to buy so they need a shirt that fit they need to understand the premise like the person you're describing doesn't exist they're an impossibility you find yourself on this on the roosterteeth store and you see two options and you think i don't know what either of those mean but i'll buy a shirt i'm a shirt buyer i'm on this site to buy a shirt didn't mean to be here but i'm locked in and committed to buying a shirt i don't know what any of these mean i guess i'm a shirt buyer i would buy one percented there would be like i would buy that shirt too but not for the reasons that you're listing that's an insane logical i think we need an option for people
Starting point is 00:21:41 who don't listen to the show and this is why would we sell a shirt for people who don't listen to the show. Why would we sell a shirt for people who don't listen? What if, all right, what if, because, how about, I agree with you, Gavin. You agree with me? I have to agree. I think we can tweak it. What if instead of a shirt buyer, because you might want to give it to somebody as a gift, and if you receive a shirt buyer as a gift, you may not be a shirt buyer. What if we just had a shirt that said shirt wearer?
Starting point is 00:22:05 That's what happens to everyone. This is ridiculous. This is so insane. Seven billion people on earth all wear shirts, I assume. I feel like it should just say t-shirt. We couldn't have a... Because if you're wearing a shirt that's a shirt wearer, that's redundant.
Starting point is 00:22:19 You're clearly a shirt wearer. It doesn't even stay. Wearing a shirt that says shirt is redundant. No, it's not. What do you mean? It's a shirt. It's a shirt. It's a shirt. It's a t-shirt a shirt that says shirt is redundant no it's not what do you mean it's a shirt it's a shirt it's a shirt it's a t-shirt and elisa's shirt it's a clarification of what it is yeah but you need you need the verb yeah and it needs you can't just have shut there needs to be an action on the shirt yeah comment lever regulation you want a listener nick said sure have a shirt haver is a good one i'm more sure where i like i like sure have it because you don't even need to put it on it works
Starting point is 00:22:53 this is so insane let us know we're absolutely not gonna to make a shirt-haver shirt unless there is an overwhelming amount of demand. If you want a shirt-haver shirt, let us know. You can't let us know because then you'd be a comment-leaver. Yeah, it's impossible. There's no way you can say that. We can't take the regulation or listener's word for it because then they become comment-leavers. So then they have to become shirt-havers. This This is really oh, yeah, that's a good point Not only would they not leave a comment they won't even hear this because it's not for them
Starting point is 00:23:33 Oh, well the problem is super complicated Well, I guess not because they will leave a comment on Instagram and just say it wasn't a comment Just continue as they exist. How is it not a comment? It's definitely a comment. I think, well, to define a comment, I think it's anything. I think it's just anything. You went somewhere online and typed something. Yeah. Yeah, I think if you went, yeah,
Starting point is 00:23:52 I think that's a good classification. I think, so Nick is saying, is a message a comment like a DM? If you message me about a show, I can't stress enough how you're a comment lever because I don't want to read it. I don't want to see it, but you sure are commenting about what we're doing. So absolutely, you're a comment lever. That's almost an extra comment lever because you're getting really pointed and focused
Starting point is 00:24:13 with the comment. Yeah, that's too focused for a comment. I don't like it. So that's a no to the shirt buyer. Let's just try to get through the anal passage and then we'll see what happens. Otherwise, we're averaging at one shirt per show. By the time this comes out, we'll definitely be through the anal passage. I don't think that's going to be an issue. Well, that's great because anal passage will be sold out and some people out there might want to buy a shirt. Sold out is a fun way to say forcefully pulled down. I appreciate your flip of words.
Starting point is 00:24:43 Wait, hang on. You're saying that people might want the anal passage shirt, but it's not theirs, so they'll have to buy a shirt-haver shirt? Are you looking to get a gift for somebody in your life and you're not sure
Starting point is 00:24:58 what to get them? Maybe they're hard to shop for. I got news for you. Everybody wears a shirt, and if you have a shirt, you're a shirt-haver. Go ahead and buy them a shirt-haver shirt. I got news for you. Everybody wears a shirt. And if you have a shirt, you're a shirt haver. Go ahead and buy him a shirt haver shirt.
Starting point is 00:25:07 It'll be super appropriate. Is haver a word? What do you care? 70% of the shit that comes out of your mouth isn't a word. Well, haver, I don't know, is really a word,
Starting point is 00:25:19 but haver is, and it's Scottish to talk foolishly. So I think we're really havering. Perfect. Alright, well, we'll shelf that for now. I just realized, is the Bovril Pop two Unifarm inventions
Starting point is 00:25:34 in one? Is that the beef bracelet mixed with too spicy ice cream? Is that what that is? Well, do me a favor. Eat some spicy Thai food or Indian food or something and then shove that Bob Pop up your asshole and let me know if it relieves the pain.
Starting point is 00:25:50 If it doesn't, then it probably doesn't work in that capacity. But if it does, then yeah. Shirt owner, says Nick. Shirt owner? I'm a definite shirt owner. Do you have a... Go back to movies for me. You're a beard haver as well.
Starting point is 00:26:04 Currently, yeah. That's actually correct. I cannot wait for us to be done and I could have a shower to get the smell of beef just just I need to I need this so bad. I'm struggling through this. I wonder when that cow is alive. Uh That's a that's a fascinating question. Do you think that's a pre-pandemic bov? I don't you think I don't think you're talking about a cow. I think you're talking about a couple thousand cows probably comprised into that one part. Just like a vat of cow chum.
Starting point is 00:26:32 Yeah. Yeah. I just ate a field of cow. Yeah. You ate half an Argentinian farm. You ate elements of lots of cows. Oh, I hate. I've never thought. How many chickens are in like a thing of nuggets? Like a McNugget box. Like a six piece yeah it's a ton it's a ton i don't know if that makes me feel better or worse about that like if somebody said you just ate ate larry i think that's upsetting
Starting point is 00:26:57 but if it's so many i can't possibly know the name you just ate larry person as opposed to you just ate larry and everyone he's ever known. Yeah, like it's too much. It's like when you hit a certain threshold of numbers, it's like it doesn't matter. It's all the same. I think it would be worse if you knew the chicken's name. Yeah, never ask a chicken's name. Word to the wise.
Starting point is 00:27:21 Yeah, it's a good tip. Word to the wise. Yeah, it's a good tip. Today's episode is sponsored by Honey, the easy way to save when shopping on your iPhone or computer. I love to online shop. It's the main way I shop. I hate going into the store dealing with lines.
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Starting point is 00:31:57 You got any new conversations with your mom? No, no, I haven't. I haven't had... She said one thing that was really funny, but I don't know if it plays at all. So I talked to him. I've the friend. It's been guessed a lot. This person, Jake, my friend Jake.
Starting point is 00:32:13 It's not Jake. I could tell immediately. It's definitely not Jake, but he's brought. It's wild to me that people even know Jake. Like, I don't feel like I've talked about Jake all that much. Jake will play games and then he will get really angry about things. He'll just scream things. he'll get very aggressive and uh he he in a fit of rage i don't remember what i was doing as i did something to him and he called my mom a cunt and anger what and he and i i told her
Starting point is 00:32:40 that in conversation and so we were grocery shopping the other day. I was with her and she was going through a tough thing, but she loves babies like she's having a bad day. And I noticed that the car next to me, there was a baby in it. I was like, oh, look at the baby. And the baby was feeding and it was like drinking out of a bottle. And my mom said, I'm surprised she's not breastfeeding. When you were when you were a kid, they always used to say breast is best and i said uh i said that's what jake says all the time just for no reason and then she immediately replied the only breast jake is getting is chicken she doesn't
Starting point is 00:33:16 like jake now because of because of the because and then she like cut a promo and she's like and you can tell him that because i know he called me a c word and i'm not a fan of that so fuck jake essentially it was just wild i did not expect her to slam jake and she slammed him yes that's probably roasted him she absolutely roasted jake so that's the most recent funny conversation I guess I've had with my mom. I assume she actually said the phrase C word and not the C word. No, she said C word. She didn't say the actual word. She said the C word.
Starting point is 00:33:53 Yeah. Yeah. Do you think your mom has ever said that word out loud? No. If I if I've said it to her, if I said it in general, no, I guess. Never mind. I was going to say she'd think it was a fictitious word. She's very sheltered. Like when it comes to language and butt plucks as established.
Starting point is 00:34:08 But outside of that, there's not too many updates with her. Do you have a favorite bad director, Jeff? The way that I love Rennie Harlan? Favorite bad director. Like they don't make good movies, but you're a fan of their work. Rennie Harlan is my guy. He made Die Hard 2, The Long Kiss, Good Night. One of my favorite movies ever, just due to how bad it is.
Starting point is 00:34:31 Mind Hunters. Fantastic. 12 Rounds with John Cena. One of the great WWE movies. Cliffhanger. Cliffhanger. Like all he does is schlock. I guess it depends on what you consider bad.
Starting point is 00:34:43 Like one of my favorite directors for my entire life, and I guess could fit into that category, but I don't think he's a bad director. All I think he's brilliant. I think what he's doing is brilliant satire. But I would say John Waters, you know, but I think a lot of people have trouble watching John Waters films, but I'm a huge, huge, huge John Waters fan. He's a great director. Yeah. But I mean, I, you know, you show Pink Flamingos to 10 people and 10 out of 10 are going to. He's a great director. Yeah. But I mean, you know, you show Pink Flamingos to 10 people and 10 out of 10 are going to say it's a bad movie. It's a tough, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:10 I was so, I've seen all of the Alvin and the Chipmunk movies and in the last one they made, John Waters has a cameo in it and I don't know who that was for. It was one of the strangest cameos I've ever seen. Like Alvin is on the plane and John Waters is there as John Waters
Starting point is 00:35:25 and it's like you're John Waters and I'm like who the fuck why is he here like it's great I love him that's awesome he's getting paid in a kid's like in a kid's movie that came out in like 2016 like what is why is John Waters it's sort of like the tuxedo with James Brown like I'd love to know why that cameo like what was the choice that was one of my questions for Kevin Donovan still haven't heard back we're still waiting maybe one day I'm sure he's busy I uh oh go ahead Jeff I was gonna ask Gavin if he had a favorite bad director I couldn't really think of what could I I was saying uh like Brett Ratner sucks but I've enjoyed Rush Hour and stuff although nah like X-Men 3 was a piece of dog shit.
Starting point is 00:36:05 It wasn't even enjoyable. It was. No, it wasn't. It was not good. Not good. So last episode, we had Dodge the Bov. That was a big game. Because this all started because, Jeff, you called me out.
Starting point is 00:36:15 You said I didn't have the content. I wasn't. I didn't bring anything. So I wanted to make sure I had games for the next time we recorded. We did Dodge the Bov, game one. I got game two for you. This is an exciting thing that I came up with. I got to say, that one minor throwaway joke
Starting point is 00:36:32 I made just to get under your skin at the last minute right before I shut down the podcast and you couldn't retaliate has really bore fruit. No, I just wanted... You know what? You made me reflect, so I wanted to make sure I had games for this one, as stated.
Starting point is 00:36:45 I'm going to need some assistance immediately. Gavin, what was the name? Do you remember when you'd walk in the snow and you'd see if there were footprints of somebody died? Guess who's dead. Guess who's dead. This is Guess Who's Dead, round two. Guess who might be dead, I think it was. Guess who might be dead, round two.
Starting point is 00:37:02 The movie version. So I was, I was, I don't know. I don't remember where I was, but I saw online an image for, I guess Anaconda just turned 25 years old. Like within the last two weeks. Great film. It was the 25th anniversary of that release.
Starting point is 00:37:18 And it is a fantastic movie. And so I clicked it. Eric Stoltz eats a bug and then he can't, and then he just disappears in the movie he does but he lives yeah so this was the image they used for the article of anaconda has turned 25 years old i'll post it right now we're an audio show i will describe it it is jlo reaching out not really minimal effort i would say at this point an ice cube is surrounded by an anaconda screaming in pain yeah yeah if you were to look at that photo you would think definitively that
Starting point is 00:37:53 there's no way that ice cube would get out of that situation yet he did he survived he survives in that movie so i figured i would take some photo what photos. I blanked the name of the game, Gavin. Guess who might be dead? Guess who might be dead too. I have taken some moments from a movie. I will post the photo. I will describe the photo. I'll say the character name. Say the actor name. And you can tell
Starting point is 00:38:17 me if you think that they died or not. In that scene. Well, not necessarily in that scene. It could be maybe later. So they just have to survive the movie or not? Survive the movie or not, but these are all moments in which you look at it, you go, ooh, that doesn't look too good. Maybe they lived.
Starting point is 00:38:32 What if a character comes back to life? Does that count as they died? Well, maybe. I don't know. We'll encounter that, I guess, when we encounter that. So the next one is Deep Blue Sea is the film. The character's name is jim whitlock played by stalin skarsgard he's got his hand out there big shark big sharks about the looks like he's gonna
Starting point is 00:38:51 bite his hand does he die does he live does he die i'm gonna say yes yes he dies he dies yeah i think just because almost every single person dies in that i think i think was lo cool jay in that one didn't he hide in a, wasn't he a, he did. He had a chef. Yep. He's a chef. He is a parrot.
Starting point is 00:39:09 He was, he was in that film. So you, everybody's saying that he lived or he died. Sorry. Yeah. You think he's dead. That is correct.
Starting point is 00:39:15 Everybody gets a point for Deep Blue Sea. Do you, do you post the next screenshot of him actually being killed? No, I don't. Cause it's,
Starting point is 00:39:21 it's, it's extremely, it's extremely graphic. All of the stuff that's related to his death. It's kind of a trend you'll find. The next movie we're pulling, a classic film, big franchise,
Starting point is 00:39:34 Mission Impossible 1. We have... Emilio! We have Jack Harmon, played by Emilio Estevez, in a film. He's in an elevator. The elevator gets hacked. It's going up. He's He's in an elevator. The elevator gets hacked. It's going up. He's stuck on top of it.
Starting point is 00:39:48 The thing pops out. Does Jack Harmon live? Killed by a guy in Anaconda. That is a pull. He dies instantly right there. He dies. It does. He dies like three frames from now.
Starting point is 00:40:00 He does. It's the three. It's the three. So everybody, that's at this point for everybody yeah free three frame death okay now we're gonna go to the next film on uh is he is he dead i like this game volume volume two you're a big fan of this game yeah okay the next film is jesus christ superstar this fella's got himself in a real predicament Stuck out there My question was so valid
Starting point is 00:40:29 The character name is Jesus Christ And the character, the actor name Ted Neely Uh, Gavin, you go ahead and go Andrew, was this the part of the show That you said we might have to cut? Yeah, yeah, it was. I mean,
Starting point is 00:40:49 he dies for a while. Yeah, I don't necessarily know how to answer this one. I think it could work both ways. I'm going to say yes. I think that's okay. I think that's correct. I think you all get points, and that is the game. That is the end of round one of Is He Dead 2, part two. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:41:12 You mean Guess Who Might Be Dead, part two? Guess Who Might Be Dead, volume two. That's what it was. I can't wait for us to play that again. Man. I wanted to make sure I had games, because Jeff brought up that I didn't have a thing, so I wanted to make sure I had a thing. Guess up that I didn't have a thing so I want to make sure I had a thing. I was guessing instead volume 2
Starting point is 00:41:28 Thinking of characters who have died and came back to life like I was thinking In my head of like Rachel Weisz in the second mummy movie And then you put up Jesus I didn't know how to classify that one I was generally just kind of excited to hear what you guys thought I think it's a great game you really you really knocked it out of the park
Starting point is 00:41:55 on that one I hope the religious audience doesn't crucify you for it oh man I wanted to make sure I had a game i just wanted to contribute make sure oh that tickled me eric is live again why are you streaming again eric what we got going on now oh eric just purchased a shirt are you fucking serious already so uh they asked who wanted them and i said all five of us yes uh so we should you should be getting confirmation email shortly uh so we will
Starting point is 00:42:26 be getting the face anal passage god damn it i it's the greatest thing i just looked in the merch slack when you said i want to remake this shirt but make it say anal passage and tony just said is that an official wish official wish uh wish granted we got it oh i got my confirmation email too we should all have them now we should all have that shirt very soon this is what an insane way to come back to this show to have a merch piece to go up in half an hour and like yeah and by the time people hear this i don't think they can get it no it's gonna be a weird thing where we could open this is genuinely a previously on episode yeah everything that they've listened to is an event that happened prior to that they cannot experience anymore you know when i was in
Starting point is 00:43:24 london i had a day where it was quite a sunny, gorgeous day. And I was walking around Hyde Park and just kind of taking in the greenery. And I got quite reflective thinking about the fact that we had just done 100 episodes of F*** Face. And I was really nervous about episode 100. Turned out my fears were unwarranted i was just like anytime i'm like i'm working on a bit and my attention's a little divided i never know i don't have a good handle on whether it was a good or not and so i like i
Starting point is 00:43:56 think i immediately i was one of those podcasts where i immediately hit up andrew and gavin and was like tell me it was good you know because i don't know and then so i was like wondering if people were gonna dig it or not and And and then I was just thinking about like everything that we've done in 100 episodes and how it almost felt like a complete bookended story. And then I was thinking, like, what is 100 on one on going to be like? And I really had no idea. I felt like for a while there, I kind of had a handle on things and then we're kind of entering into uncharted territory it was like a process to get us to a hundred
Starting point is 00:44:30 and then you like sit back and you're like well I don't know where the fuck we're going with this thing now couldn't have guessed any of this yeah anal passage and is Jesus die damn it just keeps on it's as much as it's a surprise to the audience it is as much so to me
Starting point is 00:44:48 as well i didn't think i would puke one episode after like as soon as we finished 100 my immediate thought wasn't i'm gonna vomit next episode that would have been high on my face bingo card actually was you vomiting really yeah that's pretty that's like the fifth time an episode is ended that way and it's still great every time it's the best the fifth time an episode is ended that way. And it's still great every time. It's the best way to end an episode is with your audible discomfort. Did you have fun in Hyde Park? Yeah, dude. That place is awesome.
Starting point is 00:45:12 I like London a lot. Did you have as much fun as this? I didn't remember. I'll be honest. I don't remember doing that. You don't remember the pedal boat in Hyde Park? I guess I did. That must have been a million years ago. Eric brings up a great point of you are wearing two pairs of sunglasses, Jeff.
Starting point is 00:45:34 There was probably a reason for that. Oh, that's so cute. 20, uh, July 2010. Look at us, so much younger. Ah, they weren't running the boats while I was there, but I walked right by that spot, actually. Where does the time go? One of us aged well. We're almost at two years.
Starting point is 00:45:51 I think people figured out that 2037 would be episode 1000. Late summer, 2037. 2037? Or 2039? Oh my god. I was reading the comments on episode 100 on the on the roosties site and somebody mentioned
Starting point is 00:46:08 was like uh i don't know if i'll be around for episode 1000 because i'm almost 70 now but uh i hope so and i was like i messaged him i'm like you better fucking be around for episode 1000 like i'll i'll put some money into keeping you alive but the idea that we have somebody who's listening to the
Starting point is 00:46:24 show on purpose who's almost 70 just warms my fucking heart and it just means that we appeal to all ages of degenerate i love it you think that's real i assume so i don't know why would somebody lie about their age going that way i don't know you have doubt gavin yeah I wonder who is the oldest listener. Well, let's get him a shirt and they can buy it. And then we'll know who it is. We should get a shirt that says oldest listener, but only one person can buy it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:56 And they have to, if an older listener comes along, they have to mail it to that person. Oh, man. Oh, Gav, you know know another comment i saw that was pretty interesting i know we talked about it last episode but you told what is gotta be a i don't know top five moment in in uh of all time on this show which was your uh bloody pier story in in melbourne australia the bloodwind the bloodwind yeah and somebody said uh that guy was probably saw you alone on bloody pier story in Melbourne, Australia. The blood wind. The blood wind, yeah. And somebody said, that guy saw you alone on the pier and was probably coming to rob you
Starting point is 00:47:30 and you got extremely lucky. And they peaced out of there because their plan was foiled. And I thought, I kind of hope that's true. I kind of hope you dodged that bullet. If I was about to get mugged at nine in the morning
Starting point is 00:47:43 on a pier in Melbourne. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's possible. And then a gust of wind saved me from like 10 feet away. Divine intervention. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I saw that comment.
Starting point is 00:47:56 It's pretty funny. Is there any other, you don't have to say it, is there any other stories like that that you've been on the fence about telling? Or is that it? I don't know. It's hard to tell which ones I've told on the fence about telling? Or is that it? I don't know. It's hard to tell which ones I've told on the other podcasts. I mean, that's probably...
Starting point is 00:48:09 Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. I have to, like, try and remember what I've told. I just meant in general. Like, that was a story that you had never told. Like, that was just never been said before. Yeah, I'm probably not sitting on anything as heavy as that one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:22 That's what I was curious about. I'm trying to think if I... Because you... I remember when we started the show i had like 30 you talking about jeff like we're trying to get to 100 i think when we started i had an outline of 30 things that i felt confident i could talk about that could be like maybe be an episode like 30 episodes so the premise of us hitting 100 was definitely for me like how the fuck are we gonna like you just have to not tell a story every two episodes yeah or just like okay i've got 30 i feel really good about the next 30 i don't know what'll come after that that's why things like the pencil trial at the time were like oh my god this is like an episode and this isn't part of the 30
Starting point is 00:49:01 yeah it's like a free one yeah like especially for me when I was first starting of like trying to get comfortability and doing this and having any confidence at all and like telling a story or just just talking in general on a show like this. It was very much like I have this list of 30. I feel confident about this, but this is ideally going to last longer than 30 episodes. How are we going to make this work? So those opportunities would come up i remember one of the first episodes like we were we established being terrible at intros and outros very early on in the show i want to say like episode six
Starting point is 00:49:35 i opened it was a very early episode i mean around there episode six i opened the show with the outro like i i was like well we're always bad at this so we might as well just do it at the beginning so we at least have a good outro we could use absolutely terrifying i think that's the first time in the show where i was like i'm gonna do a thing without talking to you guys about it that i don't know it's just like a funny idea in my head did we love it yeah it played well but it was like i was so nervous in doing that like it was so scary the premise of like holding the ball or like doing a thing that I hadn't already told a bunch of people and knew would work comedically.
Starting point is 00:50:11 We've really played with the medium when it comes to intros and outros. Like you did the outro at the beginning. We did the one where you did the intro at the end of the previous episode or something. We threw the ball. Yeah. Like we've really innovated in the intro and outro space that was one of them where jeff and i or jeff's doing the intro and you're trying to stop him saying that there's already an intro for this one because you've done
Starting point is 00:50:34 you've done like the legal trial on your own before we arrived so it's just you arguing yeah i we've done some great things i've i've swayed back and forth on the importance of intros and outros. I feel like we're better at them now. I think so. I feel like it's sort of just a standard intro, standard outro. Eric, you don't think we're better? No. I don't think there's been any improvement whatsoever.
Starting point is 00:50:59 That was hard, hard indignation. Yeah, you could go back and listen to the beginning of this podcast and probably feel about the same as what they are now. I don't, like, played with the medium? What are you talking about? A little bit nonlinear. How? Of intros and outros? I feel like we've done some things that, uh...
Starting point is 00:51:24 Like, you're trying to start the podcast in media res? Like, what are you talking about? Like, what? Played with the... We've done great things and innovated. Out of control. This is outrageous. I think we got some of the most advanced intros.
Starting point is 00:51:38 Advanced? No! We've not got bog-standard intros. Mainly thanks to Andrew. I think that's undeniable. That would be the issue. Right, what you said and what I said are the same thing. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:56 I think I've moved quite a bit. I don't fight the intro anymore. I no longer do that. There's a period of time which I thought the intro was completely unnecessary. Why? Well, okay, I think with this show specifically you have zero context for anything that ever happens like we don't we don't set up it's not like a singular are we in season one again is it possible to go
Starting point is 00:52:16 from season four to season one then we'll be really playing with the mediums medium of seasons we're regressing oh yeah oh my god eric did you fix the site by the way to display uh oh yeah fucking right i've dude do you like the amount of work oh this is insane all you gotta do is just file them into different seasons we should just pay a kid to fix the whole thing in like 72 hours like i'll do it give me give me permission to organize face into seasons on our site and i'll do it yeah go for it you got okay permission hey permission granted i don't mean verbal permission i did the signage ross congratulations you're now eligible to go on in and fix some stuff go nuts
Starting point is 00:52:57 buddy god bless it's like it's like giving a child a toy car wheel and telling him he's driving is what just happened. Go have fun. Yeah, do some laps. I'll be here. He gave me verbal permission. That's right. God damn. Hey, by the way, Andrew, we haven't talked about it,
Starting point is 00:53:19 but how... Oh, time to give the dog his pill. How are you enjoying this season of Survivor? I keep meaning to ask you. Yeah, it's been great. I think overall, like a few hit or miss episodes. But I think generally speaking, it's been a really good season. It's a huge improvement on season 41.
Starting point is 00:53:41 I feel like they took every new mechanic and tweaked it and improved it. Well, they filmed them both at the same time so like i just think like it has yeah like the cat i don't understand so they have the shot in the dark mechanic and one of the more recent episodes jeff probes is like we've changed it from a one and six to a two and twelve and i was like well what's the point i don't understand why you've done yeah i didn't quite the same odds i don't i don't get why they flipped that. What I'm excited about, take it back to where we started. They are now, like CBS is doing a version of the challenge that is like a team of Survivor contestants,
Starting point is 00:54:12 a team of Big Brother, a team of the challenge. Like it's a show where it's like different groups, like clearly defined. Jonathan, who's on this season of Survivor, is 100% going to be on the challenge, and I cannot wait to see that. He'll be so great on that show. It's just such a perfect fit
Starting point is 00:54:27 for him. I don't know why he wouldn't, and I don't know why they wouldn't ask him. The guy's a beast. Are you watching this season, Gav? Are you finally catching up? Yeah, and I'm pretty sure that he said that because there was two tribes before, wasn't there? So there would have had to have been a one in six chance, but now everyone's merged, so it's like a two in... He's saying
Starting point is 00:54:43 the odds are the same, but there's more. Yeah, i guess we've never seen a scenario where like five people have attempted the shot in the dark at the same time yeah he's gotta be the most physically dominant uh contestant in the history of survivor right i mean like ozzy was that was really good he does entire tribe challenges on his own he was like throwing people yeah he just does everything himself and wins. It's like everyone else is irrelevant. He did that one challenge in the water where they just had to shut the challenge down.
Starting point is 00:55:11 He did it by himself and then everybody else was drowning. And then there was that one just recently where the other team had like four balls in the hoop and his team had none. So he just climbed out of the water and threw five balls in and it was over. That episode where he and Mike are like having that, I don don't know i feel like maybe we even talked about this already
Starting point is 00:55:27 but having that conversation they're bonding over how hard it is to have muscles yes yeah that's why i'm so glad you brought that up one of i think the funniest things in survivor ever has been this season that mike keeps putting himself in the same category as jonathan i love it and he always does it he's like yeah they always target the big guys like Jonathan and I, and it's like, you are not, you're in a different league. I really liked the guy who went home, but he was, he kept dropping shit and losing shit. And he like dropped Mike's idol on the floor. I was like, you never gave it to me. I gave it back to you. It was just on the floor in the open my favorite challenge thing like as far as dominant people on the show goes there's this
Starting point is 00:56:11 guy named james who's in a bunch of seasons who had the fantastic job as grave digger and he was just jacked and they had this challenge where you're in the water and the idea was you had two poles and you'd have two people in the water, hold the poles and the person would step on one and then move to the other. And the person with the like, they just keep moving. So you'd go like one step at a time. One person held you up. James was so strong that he could just carry the person the whole way.
Starting point is 00:56:38 So like somebody would hop on the pole and then he'd lift it and he'd just walk across to the other side and they'd hop off as opposed to the other team having to do it properly. So they like never did that challenge again or they tweaked it, I think. They changed it in some way because he just, he broke it. They didn't expect anybody being so strong and they just finished it immediately. It's a great season.
Starting point is 00:56:58 Yeah, it's fun to watch. We're a reality TV show podcast. Oh, is that the new phase we are? We're a reality TV show. I guess we kind of always start with it, but. Yeah, well, we're above, I guess we're, I think we're done with TV show podcast. Oh, is that the new phase we are? We're a reality TV show. I guess we kind of always start with it. Yeah, well, we're above. I guess we're... I think we're done with Bovril.
Starting point is 00:57:08 Yeah. Unless Andrew wants to try a hot Bovril. I will try it next time. All right. I feel like we extracted more joy out of Bovril than probably the collective population of Earth using it as actual sustenance. You might be right. Bovril should
Starting point is 00:57:26 pay us. Yeah, Andrew, have you been in contact with Bovril? I have not been in contact with Bovril. Should I be in contact with Bovril? Well, maybe get something going. I don't know if what I've done with the Bovril product Oh my god! I just had a great idea. I just had a great idea. Great idea. Think about this
Starting point is 00:57:42 for a while. A shirt that says Bovril Drinker. No, no, no. It's not some shitty merchandise you can sell people. Here's an idea. Great idea. Think about this for fall. A shirt that says Bovril Drinker. No, no, no. It's not some shitty merchandise you're trying to sell people. Here's an idea. What did we used to be? We used to be an Apple podcast, right? For a time. And we flirt with apples occasionally. We're obviously medium Cosmic Crisp fans.
Starting point is 00:57:58 What do people like to do in the fall with apples? Cider. They like to bob for apples. What if you have bovrling for apples? You get like a big drum, you fill it with bovril, and you have to bob for apples. You have to put your arms behind your head and dunk
Starting point is 00:58:14 your head into bovril and pull out an apple. Bobbing for apples. Bobbing for apples. That's an experience to RTX. It doesn't matter that there's COVID or whatever everyone should be boving for apples in the same juice i don't want to go into someone else's bov we have got to at some point in our collective future bov for apples bovril might have some
Starting point is 00:58:36 antiseptic properties that we don't know about that's true i i would bov for apple i think you and i could make a supplemental where we bov apples. I think that's a great idea. You also, speaking of supplementals, you also need to make Gavin's Italian pizza in my fucking backyard. Yeah, gotta clear out the spiders and scorpions and that. Yeah, we can do that.
Starting point is 00:58:57 Oh, man. Speaking. Okay. I got excited. You brought up Cosmic Crisps. I have one. I'm going to wash away. Yeah, we all do.
Starting point is 00:59:10 Everybody's got one in their fucking fridge right now, right? We're waiting a year to eat them. Well, yeah, I do. But I mean, like, I have one that I can eat now. I bought Cosmic Crisps over the weekend. I'll be honest. I forgot to put mine in the fridge. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:59:22 I might just need half of yours, Jeff. Yeah, that's fine. You can have half of mine. I doubt I'll get through it one year from now. One year? When are we supposed to do that? I wrote the date on my apple, so I'll have to... Yeah, well, fucking obviously, I meant what date. Alright, hold up. Let me go check
Starting point is 00:59:37 my apple, and I'll tell you. I'll be right back. Andrew, when does the redemption year end? Well, year two, right? Did you just take a bite of an apple? Yeah, I did? Well, you're two, right? Did you just take a bite of an apple? Yeah, I did. Yeah, you didn't hear him. He's clearing his palate with a...
Starting point is 00:59:50 Well, I didn't think he was actually doing it. And then you asked him a question and I heard the biggest like horse style chomp. I take horse bites. I love apples. What can I say? I'm trying to get the beef out of my mouth, Eric. Go beefy in here. The beef is what lingered, not all the salad cream.
Starting point is 01:00:08 What was the pop that you didn't have? Coke. What was the one popsicle? Oh, that's sad. But now you can enjoy that one, you know? I don't. I'm done with popsicles for a while. Oh, it ruined popsicle?
Starting point is 01:00:21 Oh, I'm sorry. I absolutely ruined popsicles for a little bit. I got some good news and some bad news. Oh, it ruined Popsicle? Oh, I'm sorry. It absolutely ruined Popsicles for a little bit. I got some good news and some bad news. Oh, no. December 9th, 2022 is the date we need to do it. Oh, that. I picked out, I have a Ziploc bag with my apple in it, and it says in Sharpie,
Starting point is 01:00:37 do not open until December 9th, 2022. However, when I picked that up out of the back of my fridge, the apple sort of collapsed in on itself, and it is a big, mushy, crab-appley-looking mess. We are going to get very, very sick when we eat this. What happened? Was it not clean when it went in? It was clean and sealed. Jeff has a fucked-up fridge.
Starting point is 01:00:59 I do have a fucked-up fridge. We need to talk about the—why do we trust him? What's your apple apples condition, Andrew? My apples condition? Let me... What's in the fridge downstairs? Oh, you don't like changing floors. You want me to go run and see?
Starting point is 01:01:12 Yeah, why don't you run and see? I'll go check. I'll go check. It is so mushy. I like this because it's sort of the halfway point. Yeah, that doesn't bode well. Maybe when I get the new fridge in 17 years, I can put another one in and try it again.
Starting point is 01:01:26 Oh my God. It looks heinous. Did you place the order for a new fridge? Yeah. I talked about it on the podcast, didn't I? Yeah. I just don't remember if you pulled the trigger or not. Oh, I pulled the fucking trigger.
Starting point is 01:01:35 That's why I get it next February. On the next... Yeah. Just in time for episode 1,000. Maybe we should have a bit of food that we keep for episode 1,000. Do you have any food that you would want to buy now and eat in 17 and a half years yeah i'm sure i do like a tin of beans or something probably keep what if we oh what if we bury what if we do a what if we do like a 10 year bean hole
Starting point is 01:01:59 maybe like biohazard so i have a confession to make oh I have some good news and I have some bad news so during during the time
Starting point is 01:02:15 in which remember how I said I had that stretch for like a month and a half where I really I injured my ankle really badly yeah
Starting point is 01:02:22 you were in bed for like a month yeah so one of those times uh during that stretch i was really hungry and i didn't feel like and i didn't i didn't feel like i was both hungry and thirsty and i thought and i thought i can't go get food and i'm i don't want it walking to the sink is difficult like even that is painful i took the cosmic crisp for that.
Starting point is 01:02:47 We're holding on for a year and I ate it. I ate it that evening under the plan of I will immediately buy another and then just replace it and it will be the same. You can't be trusted to do anything. I, I have not been able to find cosmic crisps until Sunday when I bought the Bovril. So the bag of Cosmic Crisps I have are for the next iteration
Starting point is 01:03:10 of the one year wait. So even after Jeff's description of his apple, yours is in worse condition. Mine is, yes. It is somewhere, it is long gone. So out of the three of us, I'm the only one who
Starting point is 01:03:26 can follow fucking directions. Well, I followed the directions. I just got thirsty and it was very late. Well, I knew it fell apart, Jeff, so we got nothing. It's still in the bag and it's still, it's just mushy. It's still an apple. We're still gonna eat it. Yeah, we'll keep yours in and I'm
Starting point is 01:03:42 throwing mine in. I'm throwing mine in. Right now, you two motherfuckers just hard, hard salad creamed our apple experiment. No! Both of you. I think Andrew salad creamed it because he deliberately ate it. And what did you do? You didn't even start step one.
Starting point is 01:03:58 I think you're much worse than I am. Mine was originally on my desk at work and then I was like, oh, I never put it in the fridge. Went to get it. It's gone. Did you take it? Did someone take it? No. I never put it in.
Starting point is 01:04:10 I even stopped myself. I think I told the story. I stopped myself from superglueing it to your desk because I was in the process of doing it, and then I thought, oh, he might need this, and I don't want to ruin the Cosmic Crisp, so I treated it with respect, much like the competition. All right, well, I can start at the same time as Andrew. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:23 Well, we'll have three different iterations. You got the one year apple and we'll have the whatever, seven months or whatever it is. Well let's be fair, Geoff has to put his in again anyway. No, we'll just eat what's left of, I mean it might be apple soup by then, but we'll eat it. Nick has a good point. Salad creaming involves an action.
Starting point is 01:04:40 Gavin didn't get that far with the apple. No. I was pre-cream. I don't want to talk pre-cream right now. My stomach is in a bad way. Why is my doorbell ringing? Andrew, you didn't send me anything, did you? I didn't
Starting point is 01:04:54 send you anything. Henry's pissed. Eric says that's the wrap-up bell. Yeah, I agree with that. I think I should get credit for confessing to my crimes. Yeah, it was very honest of you, and I think you would have continued lying to us for the next eight months had we not brought it up. It was a very... When you asked me to check the status of my apple, there was a little bit of a panic.
Starting point is 01:05:14 I like that you went anyway. No, I leaned back in my chair and I just kept eating the apple I was eating. And then I almost choked on it. I almost started coughing from it. Was it in your bedroom fridge? It was, yeah. It's in my bar fridge. Because when you said you were going to go downstairs and check,
Starting point is 01:05:29 I was like, well, how did he get to it then? That was the thing. Yeah, well, no. That was all. I left it in there. But this one I will not touch. It's a promise. What if you wreck your ankle again?
Starting point is 01:05:38 I will die. I will die of thirst before I touch that Cosmic Crisp. I like that you went for the apple for the liquid in it. That's why I went, because they're so fucking juicy. I was thirsty. I was more thirsty than hungry, and I didn't have anything to drink. So we'll do this experiment again
Starting point is 01:05:54 and just hope that for the span of 365 days, Andrew doesn't get slightly inconvenienced or thirsty at any point. No, it was, let's be fair. I couldn't walk. Let's be fair. I couldn't walk. Let's be fair. That describes half of your year. No, this is a different thing. I was, this is different.
Starting point is 01:06:12 Dude, you almost ended up bedridden again because you got too excited to stand up to get in line last week. No, no, no, no, no, I didn't. I was fine. Like, that was, there was no issue. That was just a tweak. This was a different, this was a different thing. Eric wants the podcast to be over there needs to be yeah i agree but there needs to be some fucking ramifications for people going forward who salad cream this apple experiment
Starting point is 01:06:36 accountability nick is right i feel like i was very accountable i would argue i was the most accountable here you cost us five months of an experiment. No. Because you were thirsty for apples. What about this? I'll put mine in now, and I'll leave it two years. It's not supposed to be good for two years. It's only supposed to be good for a year. I'll leave it for a year.
Starting point is 01:06:54 Well, it doesn't sound like it's good for a year anyway. Not in my whack-ass fridge. That's ridiculous. I like you're coming at us for fucking screwing up the experiment. No, no, I'm coming to you. You've had a faulty fridge. I like you're coming at us for fucking screwing up the experiment. No, don't come to you. I got a fucking, I got an apple in a fridge right now that's been there since December 9th of last year. So I can put it in any fridge. Do I need to plug the fridge in?
Starting point is 01:07:14 You have a broken fridge. There have been three different levels of effort and the result is the same for everyone. There's no apple to eat. No, I got an apple we're going to eat. We're just going to die eating it. You're going to eat a bag of mush? an apple we're going to eat. We're just going to die eating it. You're going to eat a bag of mush? It's already collapsed and exposed itself. We are
Starting point is 01:07:30 going to eat a bag of mush. We, you and I, together. You already said so before you knew it was gross. You've already agreed. Maybe you can put it in the next bean hole. It's like, I don't know, do like an apple dish? Maybe we'll bob for mush. That's interesting. Bob for mush. Oh, apple dish maybe maybe we'll both for much interesting Bob for mush
Starting point is 01:07:45 oh man yeah we throw it in with the bobbing for Apple and if you get that one you lose in a lot of all right well yeah I guess we'll talk to you next time tell people or don't listen again maybe buy some shit or don't
Starting point is 01:08:02 whatever I'm putting the same amount of effort into the outro that Andrew put into the, well, I'd rather I should say that Gavin put into the Apple contest. So, see you next week. We won't or who gives a fuck? We'll be here. I don't know. We'll be here. Probably. Maybe
Starting point is 01:08:17 we won't. I don't know. I hope so. Tune in to find out or don't tune in to find out. We'll never know. Bye. Really playing with the medium there. Hey, guys. Regular fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Do you know Jeff co-stars in another podcast about theme parks? Gavin tells everyone about his favorite podcast called Annual Pass.
Starting point is 01:08:43 Penn talks about how roller coasters are better than bagels. Jeff discovers G-forces. The boys decide that Annual Pass is a much better podcast to listen to than F*** Face. Annual Pass releases every Thursday anywhere you get your podcasts. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of Annual Pass.

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