F**kface - What Flavors are We? // Salt, Pepper, & Bullshit [122]

Episode Date: September 28, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about baseballs going on sale September 30 @ noon CT, AlphaBet rules on the next episode, Gavin all stopped up, Andrew's heartburn, nut fight, heartburn, Does It Do, more Extra Medium, Gavin's travel story, and a new piss boy? Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by Better Help at http://betterhelp.com/face , Fum at http://www.breathefum.com/face , and Honey at http://joinhoney.com/FACE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma, is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics, groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics. Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation of Beastrin.

Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice. Your choice, that is. From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills. And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey.

With me as always, Andrew Panton from from Canada, Gavin Free, from England via America. And this is episode something, volume something, or other, year whatever. Oh, it's back. I don't know what, whatever the fuck it is. Episode 122, year something, volume something else. And hello, boys. Hi. Hi.

Look at that. We both did it successfully. That was smooth. We got a lot to talk about today. It's been a while. I wrote notes. It's been a minute. So I'm just going to burn through some of these motes.

I'm going to burn through some of these notes because it's like housekeeping shit. Number one thing we should cover. Well, we should be clear, though. This isn't Monkey Morning. No, no, we'll get there. It's number four on the list. Sorry. Okay. And it was never Monkey Morning.

It was Monkey Lunch. But anyway. Oh, sorry. Monkey Morning, that was a previous iteration of this video. Okay, right out of the gate. We talked about it last week.

I think we even put some photos up. The baseballs are coming out. The pre-hit, autographed, in-paint, f***face second round of baseballs, hit by me, signed by me, is releasing on the Rooster Teeth website on 12 Central PM, September 30th. So that's Friday, September 30th at 12 noon Central Time.

Prepare to be pissed off. Prepare to be pissed off. I believe there are about 200 and some change. I think it's 205. 205, okay. So we got 205 baseballs. So there you go. If you want one,

that's how you get one. Go to the Rooster Teeth store, roosterteeth.com, and be there. I don't know. Get there at 1158. Get there a little early. You never know.

Well, they're going to be sold out by 1155, so why are we even... No, no. I've been assured. We have this fixed. It will go on sale on time uh if you go to the site and you mark the thing like hey let me know when this is back it'll send you a direct link it'll be the fastest way you're welcome you're welcome well can we please bet some whether it all falls

apart uh sure yeah i'm gonna bet it i bet it where it goes smoothly, I think it goes smoothly as well. I bet it doesn't. It fucking better go smoothly. All right. Okay, next piece of housecleaning. When we ended the last episode, we were very excited to jump into this one because we were going to hammer out the rules and get started on our alphabet food challenge. However, and we'll get into this a little bit later as well,

because we're supposed to be doing the monkey movie right now, we're having to do back-to-backs today, so it would make no sense for us to develop the rules and get it all squared away, and then immediately go into another recording where we can't talk about it. So we'll handle all of that in episode 123. I apologize.

I think you were probably expecting it in 122 because I'm pretty sure we... Oh, we definitely said we'd start next time. It would 100% start in episode 122. But just because of logistically, I think it would be way... It would fuck you guys and us way harder to figure it all out this week

and then have a whole episode that we don't discuss it at all and then go into it. So we'll just skip any alphabet conversations and push those to the recording that we're going to do immediately after this one ends. Everybody's okay with that. Yeah, that's fine.

So are we going to start then on the Monday, next Monday with that? For us, not them. I know when they'll hear it. We'll discuss that next episode. Okay. Andrew really wants it to happen in this episode yeah I don't know the answer but I know but I don't want to talk about it right now

because there's no such thing as a question you'll open a can of worms it's brutal I just I'll you know we'll get into this next episode too but I just had what I thought was a simple dinner with Eric the other night and it turned contentious quickly so

I don't even want to cover the alphabet. What can we talk about this episode? Well, I'll tell you the number one thing I'd like to talk about is why we're not filming a goddamn monkey movie again. This is so fucking ludicrous. I was trying to figure it out. I think each of us have now been responsible for, for pushing the MVP to recording at least twice.

That was my first push. I think I think it was second. What? I'm not sure about that. Andrew definitely shoved it. I did one. No, I did.

Okay. You know, fuck you. I've done it once. I've had one shuffle No, I've shoved it. Okay, you know, fuck you shoved it twice. Gavin, I've done it once. I've had one shuffle. I think everybody's done it. I think everybody's done it a hundred times. Gavin, you motherfucker. Now you're the reason we're not filming the

monkey movie right now. I hope you enjoyed your vacation. It was lovely. I realized that the time I landed was exactly the time that monkey lunch started. Or monkey movie. I'd say British Airways, 50% to blame. Oh, goddamn, dude.

So the current plan is that we film the Monkey Movie next week, I think? Is that right, Eric? Yes. Friday. The exact same time as now. Yes. So it is on the calendar next Friday. Well, that means nothing.

It was on the calendar for this week, too. I 100% agree with you, but it's is on the calendar next friday well that means nothing it was on the calendar for this week i 100 agree with you but it's still on the calendar usually whenever i have to move something or if i'm gonna be late or miss a podcast eric's like oh no problem sort it out eric's response this time was jesus christ it's like i'm just i'm so disgusted by all of us i can't i have zero you want to talk about a bet let's place a bet on whether we film the monkey movie next week or not how about that i i feel way more no not way more i feel equally confident on both those things i also like that you're you're leading this charge i feel like you've pushed the monkey movie the most jeff i think i have to but now i'm telling you everybody has pushed the monkey movie. Oh, I agree. Totally. I only

pushed F*** Face. I didn't push the monkey movie. That's true. All I did yesterday was land at the time we were recording F*** Face. No. You pushed the monkey movie by virtue of you having to push F*** Face. Yeah. Priorities. It's absolutely

dominoes, and you set them off. That's a great way to put it. Nick is changing opinions like the wind right now in the Discord. Nick says, that's true, and then below it, that's also true. Well, I will say that the monkey movie being pushed, I think, ultimately is a good thing, because it has given me more time to put together my presentation. How much time do you need for your PowerPoint? You've had a a year this is what i'm gonna get into gavin i was always very much a leave the homework until the night before type of guy and that is continued no surprise mvp

uh so i've been starting i started it assuming we would be doing it today, and I realized I need way more time to do this right. I could have put something together, but to make it truly right, I needed more time. I rewatched the entire film. I got my screen grabs. I got everything kind of organized already. How many screen grabs would you two guess that I pulled?

From MVP 1? On my first viewing. From MVP 1 to do this presentation i would guess and it's in let's say like 86 minute movie i would guess for a solid presentation at least 20 at least 20 what about you jeff god what's it's either comically high or comically low 20 feels like a pretty safe i'm gonna say four you're gonna say four yeah i'm gonna go the other way before we had a merch meeting yesterday and before we started it i said to eric i've captured way too many images for this thing i probably have like a hundred so then i highlighted them all to get a specific number i clicked and dragged i ended up with 227 screen captures for an 86 minute movie. That's like half

the frames in the film. You have to talk about one every like 20 seconds and it would be longer than the movie. That's what I said. I said to Eric at this point I just want to do like one of those stick man drawings where you like you rapidly you like spin it and it

moves for you like you're just seeing a physical version of the film I edited it down I reduced it I went through all of it last night I got I got my kind of final cut I feel there might be one more minor edit how many images do you think we ended up with with the final edit

120 120 50 Jeff is very close 144 we got 144 images to convey the story of MVP. Do you think that might be too long? No, honestly, I think I may have cut out some aspects of it. It was also interesting because I did it in chronological order. Like, I'd watch the movie and be like, oh, this is a plot point.

I'm going to capture this. And then realizing, like, oh, there's like three or four storylines that they start and just never finish. They have no conclusions. So like, I don't need any of it. We just pretend it doesn't happen. I think I don't cover two or three of the hockey games. It's I cut where I could. But there's there's a chord of this story that needs to be told.

So how long is your presentation going to be, do you think? Oh, I don't I don't know. I'm going to try to keep it under 10 minutes would be my goal. And we're recording that as well, right, for release? I believe so, yeah. As a primer for the audience? I think that would be the beginning of the Monkey Lunch

recording, I assumed, would be the presentation being displayed. That's great. What are you guys going to eat for lunch on monkey lunch no that's tough because bananas obviously a go-to in that scenario but that's i don't i don't do that i'm off bananas i'm a little bit stopped up yeah what happened i just i'm just not pooing really yeah but you but you just didn't you just go on vacation outside of america don't you poo better outside of America? I'll be honest, right now, right now I've got food from Italy,

England and Texas in me at the same time. Oh God. And not super comfortable. Are you okay outside of like, are you dealing with, is your stomach sore? Has it impacted other areas? I feel like someone's inflated a balloon in my gut,

but I feel there's definitely movement. Like it's slowly working its way towards the doors. Have you attempted to use the sleep apnea machine to fill yourself with air to maybe push what's stuck through? Yeah, almost like you're plunging yourself. I would be genuinely worried that my stomach would explode. I was going to go the medicine route, but I like Andrew's idea of repurposing everyday items

to solve this problem. I made a mistake. I've never felt more human than I have this morning. That is a mistake. Yeah, it doesn't happen often. My burger confidence is gone. I don't think I've ever felt more like Icarus than when you wake up with heartburn. I like I woke up at 630 a.m.

I couldn't sleep last night. I was up a little bit later than I'd want to be. And I was like, I'll have a little snack before bed. So I had two or three pieces of garlic toast or some garlic bread. It was great. Had a great time. Woke up at 6 30 feeling like there was a volcano in my chest it was just terrible terrible heartburn no tums no tombs nothing in

sight nothing i could do to relieve it just sitting there i've never felt more human my wings are seared my burger confidence was gone it's terrible so you don't feel human when both of your ankles are snapped uh no that's just like an alternate form i guess i don't know when eight of of the months of the year you're on the the injury report with an ankle injury it's sort of just that's normal that's i'd argue the months that i'm not hurt that's like i'm in super form that is that is beyond that is another level of burger confidence existence so broken is the standard broken is the standard so what caused the heartburn uh garlic bread garlic garlic bread okay and then immediately went to sleep so garlic bread will do it to you huh i guess for me yeah i didn't know i feel like

that's something that has changed over time. Red wine gets me. Really? That's an interesting one. Yeah. Gavin, can you look back to one meal you think that stopped you up? What do you think did the worst damage to you? I always get wrecked by seafood, so I'm going to say

it was the six giant king prawns I had. Ooh. That sounds good. Did you make a condiment sauce to go with them? No, I didn't. No, I didn't. Okay. A bit of lemon.

Lemon's great. Eric says peanut butter. Peanut butter, backs of Eric. That. Yeah. Or does that give you heartburn or is that stops you up? It's heartburn. It only sometimes.

And I don't know why. Because I'll eat peanut peanut butter but then there are times where i have peanut butter otherwise and it's like oh no and i'm just like like alien like spitting acid could it be what you're pairing it with or is it just the peanut no no it's like it's like a spoonful of peanut butter i think i just have i i don't think i have a peanut allergy because I eat peanut butter sometimes and it's fine. I just think that there's just something sometimes where something gets caught or hits something wrong and all of a sudden I get all fucked up. Do you ever eat peanuts like Cracker Jacks or just like honey roasted peanuts? Yeah, typically when you take me out to the ball game, I'll have some peanuts. Okay.

Other than that, I think peanuts are pretty bottom tier. Whoa! Oh, fuck. Now, Jeff, continue. We don't need to get into the peanuts. He's right. Oh, I know I'm right. It's fine. They're a staple nut, but they are

not a great nut. I agree. 100% agree. The peanuts are the nut. No, they're not. Jeff, it might be time to a great nut. I agree. 100% agree. The peanuts are the nut. It's a great base nut. They're the number one nut in the world. I don't think that's wrong, but

they're not the best tasting. You can coat them in so many different things. It's a great base nut. You can't coat any other nut with any other thing. You know what you can't do with other nuts with any other thing. I just bought, you know what you can't do with other nuts? I just bought a bunch of peanuts to boil yesterday. I'm gonna boil peanuts this weekend. Oh, that's

disgusting. Yeah, that's absolutely vile. So delicious. Gavin's had them before. They're actually pretty good. Pretty fucking good. Jeff made them and they were great. Bit weird. Boiled peanuts, man. It's a southern delicacy. I'm open to it. I don't think there's anything wrong. I think we would agree that peanuts are like the Coke of nuts.

Like, they're by far number one market share. I just don't think that they're the best tasting. I didn't say that they were the best tasting. That's what I think we're clear. That's the issue I think we're having. Well, why don't we all say the best tasting nut on three? Okay. Ooh, that's tough.

That's a tough. There's two of them. Count us down. All right. We'll do three, two, one, go. tough. That's a tough one. Count us down. Alright, I'll do three, two, one, go. Ready? Okay. Okay. Three, two, one. Cashew. Oh!

Cashew is the worst nut. What? Hang on. That's a terrible take. Get fucked. Are you kidding me? No, macadamia nuts are way better. Pistachios are way better. That's a terrible take. Get fucked. Are you kidding me? No, macadamia nuts are way better. Pistachios are way better. That's a great nut. I think your ridiculous conicashu terrible nut.

I was considering pistachio. I love a pistachio. The problem with pistachios is you'll get one in like every, I don't know, 87. That is just awful. That's like rotten. That's the issue with pistachios.

That's not a lot of work. It's like, yeah, that's true. Well's the issue with pistachios. That's just not a lot of work. It's like... Yeah, that's true. Well, I mean, you just buy them at the store. Like, I get like spicy pistachios that are already like, already shelled

and they're fucking awesome. Huh. I do agree with you though, Andrew. I feel like there has to be like one pistachio in every bag. Yes. Or like a bunch of pistachios that absorbs all the bad in it

and it just becomes like the doo-doo pistachio and it takes all the bad flavor away from the others it's like the cursed pistachio yeah it's like the cursed pistachio we're speaking of curses that's another thing we should talk about at some point today um but listen i don't want to get i don't want to turn this into an indictment of nuts i don't want to get into a whole nut fight i feel like we've got so much other food stuff to be angry at each other about uh or to argue about um but i i do have a question do you guys talk about heartburn like you have it a lot is heartburn a like a relatively common thing for y'all no very rare for me i actually i remember really wanting heartburn as a kid

because then i could use gaviscon what is gaviscon? It sounds like a name. Oh. Why did... I don't understand. Because of the name. Taste? It's got my entire name in it. It's awesome. Yeah, it's like... I mean, this was a realization I had at the age of about six.

Okay. I saw that immediately. I just don't understand. I guess where my disconnect is, is why does using it make it cooler? I feel like the fact that it exists is the cool thing. I think just wanted to have some because there's a medicine out there that if you take three letters away it says gavin why wouldn't i get it that is a kid take out the scope i get it i just don't think that makes it cooler but i'm a six-year-old i probably would

i used to live i used to have heartburn and acid reflux every day of my life. Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. For probably 15 years. And then I quit drinking, and it went away. And I don't know that I've had heartburn since I quit drinking alcohol. Wow.

Like, yeah, it was just something I knew. And I knew that was what it was. Like, it was pretty hard not to understand what I was doing. But, yeah, it's just like, that's why I asked. Because I forgot about heartburn until this conversation. Because it just hasn't been an issue since I quit doing. But yeah, it's just like, that's why I asked because I forgot about heartburn until this conversation because it just hasn't been an issue since I quit drinking.

Wow. That's awesome. Yeah. Sorry to hear you guys are still plagued by it. Eric takes medicine for every day of his life. I think I'm all right.

There you go. Gaviscon. Have you ever had Gaviscon? Did that dream ever happen? I don't, I still don't think I've ever had it. Let me, let me ask you a question.

Because you posted a picture of Gaviscon, and it says it's mint-flavored. I assume that's like the standard flavor. What flavor would you attribute to Gavin? Like, if you had to pick a signature flavor for a caffin, if you were a medicine, what flavor do you come in? Are we all going to make answers? Do you want Gavin to have an answer?

In my head, I don't know why this is. I'm going to have to decode this myself. I immediately went to some combination of like a fruit, like a berry with black licorice. That's the flavor profile that I'm getting. I think that's quite flattering. I'll take that. Yeah, that is really good. I like black licorice, dude.

I would take you as medicine instantly. Somebody who rates cashews the number one or the least number one. Dude, I'm sorry. The least number one. I'm sorry. The least number one. When you get them on the airplane, I'd fucking throw those on the floor, dude. I don't want to do it. I just like number one. You get them on the airplane.

I'd fucking throw those on the floor, dude. I don't want to do the waste of a nut. It's a waste of itself. Just yeah. It's just a yeah. It's a pointless. How about you,

Gab? What do you think your mint flavored? I don't even know if I can answer. I don't know why. I think I'm too close to it. I think I think too close to it. I think you're tomato-based. Oh, I can see that.

That's interesting. A tomato-based? Yeah. I could see that. Yeah. I would have said maybe some sort of oil. Like olive oil? What type of oil? Like olive oil.

I see that feels a little too fancy to me. Oh, okay. Olive oil is extravagant high-end stuff eric what flavor are you what flavor do i think i am or gavin is no you what flavor are you i think gavin is that bubble gum flavor that you get see there you go nick nick is saying that he's bubble gum i could see that too but i think that i like i associate gavin with that bubbleum flavor that you get with some medicines when you're a kid. I think I'm like a NyQuil flavor. You know when

you take NyQuil and you go, this is absolutely vile, but boy, it really helps you out? I feel like that's my way. You're maybe NyQuil with an ashtray poured in it. Has someone been ashing their cigarettes in my night well oh well i'm going to bed i'm ashtray michael oh man what about you jeff oh uh i hadn't thought about. I think you've got like a salt flavor to you. I think I'm like... My wife just...

Sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. My wife just texted me and said cinnamon. So... Did you ask her what flavor you were? No. She's just in another room and she just texted me cinnamon. I think I'm jalapeno flavored. I think I'm like... I'm spicy.

Just like some... some generic spice. Like, like, yeah, I could see that. Yeah. Like and like like you like it at first, but then you get too much of it quickly and then you regret it. I feel like that's me. See, I think your jalapeno flavor or like when something like a like a fast food restaurant goes like this is our new spicy burger and then you eat it and you go, this is not. Yeah.

This thing thinks it's really spicy, but this is not as spicy as it thinks that it is. It's like how people outside of Texas think Chipotle has spice. Right. It's like when you went to Nando's and got the spiciest chicken. I would say Andrew's flavor would be the plate at the end of a stack of pancakes. Oh.

So like maple-ish. Yeah, like syrup flavor with butter. Pancake bomb stuck to it. Definitely butter. How do you take your pancakes andrew uh typically just some butter i'm not like this is like just like a slice of butter on top and just let it melt into the pancake when it's hot kind of thing yeah just a little a little bit of butter on top so you're like a dry pancake person i guess yeah well not i mean i need i need some butter on it can't be

completely dry but i think that's so gross. My daughter does the same thing. It drives me nuts. I'm just like, it's syrup. It's just like fucking sugar, man. Yeah, it's a moisture to it. I don't understand. Are you like syrup? You need a lot of syrup on your pancakes? Yeah, yeah.

I would say butter makes it wetter than syrup. Fruit or whatever. That's an interesting... I don't think butter makes it wetter than syrup. Why would you... The syrup's more viscous. It doesn't feel as wet as opposed to clogged. I also feel like it exists...

I don't know. This could be wrong because I don't use syrup frequently. I feel like syrup kind of exists on top of the pancake and doesn't integrate into the pancake like butter does. It's almost like they're two separate entities that you're eating at the same time i don't think they mix syrup and a pancake i will say that a butter goes further than syrup on a pancake like if you put a pat of butter on it and then it like melts into the pancake you still you still get a lot of the butter flavor

but i feel like syrup you got to constantly keep pouring it on because it just like as soon as it like dissipates into the pancake it just like the the flavor is lost it's like disappear where was pancakes on your list jeff on my list of what oh it's not even on my list sorry but now we're talking about pancakes what type of syrup do you like jeff oh Oh, I like Mrs. Butterworth's or Log Cabin or like whatever. I just like syrup. Are those maple? Are those maple? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are those just? Okay. I'll take any kind of syrup, any kind of sugary syrup. I don't care. I'm not particular. To my knowledge, there is no cashew of syrup. They're all at a certain, they're all at a level above like the sheep's nut. Yeah.

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The next thing I have on my list is that we should mention that we have a very special... We're still formulating it, but we have a very special live stream coming up. We have discussed it in the past. I think the audience at this point knows we're going to be selling socks individually cursed by Gavin at some point. And so we're going to...

I think on Halloween, on Halloween Day, it's a Monday, October 31st, I think the plan is to do a live stream where Gavin curses the socks live while we do some other shenanigans and other stuff as well. And we have a really fun way to work Andrew into it

that I have been doing some research on. I'm going to try to build it here pretty soon, this contraption to include Andrew, and we're going to have a cursed sock stream. It looks great. Everything that we've talked about, I think it's going to be very funny. Some of it is covered in sausage talk,

which I don't know when that will come out, but that will provide more insight into some of these ideas. When does sausage talk come out? I have no idea. Nick said it should be ready after today. I was going to say, but by the time this episode comes out, it should be out right on the tail of it.

I think we could, we can dial that in, but it should be again. You're listening to this episode. So it comes out next week for us recording right now. Okay, cool. Eric,

can we also talk about some of the other, like, cause we had a really good merch meeting yesterday. And can we talk about like the plan for some of that stuff or is it too early to get people's hopes up shit i say just go for it why not all right so this holds our feet to the fire so let's do it here's what i'm aware of that we have coming out uh obviously the the curse socks i think will go on sale in at or right after the Spooky Halloween Cursed Sock livestream that we're going to do that I'm very excited about. I think the livestream might even be a countdown to selling the socks because obviously we don't want to sell them until Gavin curses them. And then I believe our big Black Friday item that I'm very... I don't know why.

No, I do know why because it's awesome. Probably the piece of merch I'm most excited about in the history of F*** Face is the Gerbler is going to come out on October 31st.

I'm sorry. Can't wait. Black Friday. Black Friday. And I think we'll have a Gerbler on hand during the live stream on October 31st

to show as a sample. Then on Cyber Monday, not to be outdone by the Gerpler on Black Friday, Cyber Monday, you didn't think it could be real. You couldn't imagine that we'd actually make it. But I have it on good authority

that on Cyber Monday, we will put the Switch fuck up for sale. So we actually got the switch fuck made or it's being made as we speak and we're going to put it on sale Cyber Monday. I hope it doesn't fall flat on our face

because I will lose a lot of capital in the company if the switch fuck isn't a success because that one took a little bit of convincing to get made. Do we know how many switch fucks have been made? That'd be interesting i have

no idea i think it was a few hundred but i really don't i don't remember understood also you mentioned the uh the grown tubes hadn't sold and i guess that turned a lot of attention to it sold out oh yeah i was told that the that maybe by the time that episode aired, they'd already sold out. Oh, no. Shit. We're the worst. We suck at that. But hey, we're letting people know a full... When does this come out? The 29th? We're letting people know two days in advance

about these baseballs. We haven't put them on sale as of this recording, so that can't repeat. I think that's it. There's discussion about a baseball jersey coming out at some point. I'm not really sure when that'll be. That's been kind of bounced around forever.

And I think that's all we have kind of out there in the ether right now that I'm aware of. We've been trying to get that vinyl of episode 16 made for about two years now, it feels like, and that's still, I don't know, in the ether somewhere. Am I missing anything? I don't think so. No, I think that's the bulk of it.

That was quite a good roundup. It was. Not to go too deeply into self-promotion talk, but I had kind of a funny thing happen relating to this show, in a sense, the other night. I watched the second episode, Does It Do?, which I had heard a lot about of Gavin's fall and the things around it it was

it was like a weekend i think it was saturday it was 2 a.m it was very late and i was like you know i'm gonna finally watch this i just hadn't seen it yet for whatever reason and i was excited to watch i laughed so goddamn hard at your fall gavin mainly because i knew Mainly because I knew you were okay. Ultimately, we had talked post fall and that it was so self-inflicted. It was entirely your fault. It didn't go the way you wanted at all. I had a good laugh at it. I was like,

man, I really want to watch that impact again. I went back and I paused right when you hit. I died. I died of laughter. hit. And I died. I died of laughter. I was wheezing. It's the hardest I've laughed in a long

time. And I didn't want to wake my partner up. So I'm trying to suppress it. And I'm just like I'm just wheezing. And I'm so loud. And I can't stop myself. I was crying there are tears coming down my face i couldn't stop and i was i'm so sorry i'm trying to be quiet but just from

looking at this paused oh just looking i genuinely laughed without pause for probably 80 seconds i couldn't stop and then i gathered myself and you i mean just look at the photo it looks like all of your bones are escaping through like a magic trap door on the floor like everything is leaving everything is gone so then i i unpaused it for a second and then reposed it and i got this angle and then i just it started all over again and I couldn't there is no muffling that You got like an et arm You're just you're destroyed you have wrecked your body in the least entertaining way visually I've ever seen There's nothing impressive

it was you would so much damage and nothing about it look cool or Funny, and you did it yourself, and that about it looked cool or funny and you did it yourself and that's what i think really got me it's just i need to remember that when i go to try and push someone or tackle someone all i do is bounce off it's all i've ever done my entire life i just gotta come to terms with it the next day i said i'm so sorry i probably woke you up i couldn't this i is looking again falling.

And they said, yeah, I couldn't tell if you were laughing or crying, like, like genuinely, extremely upset. And once I noticed that it was laughter that I was like, that's fine. But, oh, I was a mess. I, oh, it was such a good laugh. Maybe my biggest laugh of the year. Oh, I'm bummed it wasn't being recorded. Oh, it's great.

It was a great time. Eric, speaking of does it do, when do we get to make more of it? End of October. End of October. Oh, my God. Yeah, I just had a conversation with someone to make sure that we have space and time in the studio.

So end of October is what we're looking at. But before the sock cursing. Before the sock cursing. Yes. Okay. Okay. It'll just have to be a couple weeks into October. We just can't get studio before that.

So it'll probably come out like episodes three through eight. I think it is. We'll come out in November and December then probably. Yeah. I would think November, December. Kind of like round out the year with hopefully Gavin not breaking anything, but who knows? Yeah, I gotta say,

I'm really bummed about the incredibly long break between releases, but I'm really excited about recording these next six because I think we figured a lot out in the first two episodes. And then, not to get into the sausage talk, but then we had, and I think we covered this in sausage talk even, we had a really good meeting where we came up with a lot out in the first two episodes and then not to get into sausage talk, but then we had and I think we covered this in sausage talk. Even we had a really good meeting where we came up with a lot of really good ideas.

I think we'll be a lot more prepared. And I think because of that, there'll be a lot punchier episodes three through. Yeah, I agree. Not that the first two were bad. I thought they were great. But just knowing I've been excited to see what's coming with the outline that we have. Would you ever be in one, Andrew? Yeah, I'd be in one.

If you were in the country? If I was in the country, yeah, I'd gladly be in one. Absolutely. I think I would want to bring my own product, though. I know that's a weird demand. I feel like I'd want to surprise you guys with something. Ooh, I like that idea. I love it.

I don't know what that is yet. You won't come to America until November. I will not be in America until at least November. Should I be not making any plans for November? Why would you make plans for November? Well, I'm saying if Andrew is potentially coming. I never said I'd be in America in November. I was open to being in America as of November.

Weren't we all going to maybe secretly go to Vegas in November and just hang out? You were going to originally. So there's a plan for Vegas. And then that fell through due to no fault of my own. No, no fault of yours. There was a discussion that you guys would come here in November. And then there was also talks of Vegas in November as well. There've been all sorts of November talks. We should solidify something. I would like us

all to breathe the same air in November if humanly possible. Yeah, I like that idea a lot. I don't think you do, because you didn't say that you were really up for going in November. You just wouldn't go before November. I just said I like the idea, though. I just don't believe it. Previous statements? Okay.

That's fine. I'm not going to fucking try to change my beliefs to some goddamn. I don't even remember what he said you taste like at this point. Never mind. But I'm not going to argue over that. You know, I'd like to change my answer. I don't think you're tomato based. This tomato based motherfucker.

I'm not going to go into a debate war with. I think he tastes like prawns, Gavin. Oh. Really? Maybe like cocktail sauce. Yeah. Mmm. But he calls it something else. Maybe. Like a cocktail sauce. Yeah. Mm. But he calls it something else.

Maybe like a cocktail sauce that isn't called a cocktail sauce, but actually is just a cocktail sauce. Interesting. Potentially. Okay. I like cocktail sauce. You definitely taste like a condiment, though. Tots.

I don't know why we need to ruin today with that talk. The next thing I have on my list, if we want to keep keep the ball rolling because we're running is moving along. I have a I have right here. This is I think a teeing up you,

Gavin. I just have Eric hypocrite written down and I don't know why it's just held over from last time you were going to play a video audio or something. Oh yeah. I didn't get that audio yet. Great. Great work. Eric.

All right. Well, we'll push Eric hypocrite till episode one. Oh yeah. I would involve listening to face Jam, which I haven't brought myself to be able to do yet, but Right on, thanks man. I will say

We can just confront him based on the comments Okay. This is your show man. You're running this. Maybe Eric can pluck out what he was talking about A lot of people in the comments, Eric, that you you pretty much went down the route of extra medium uh under oh in a range of day in a range of days in a month yeah uh in a range of days there's a beginning there's a middle and there's an end and you have a range within them gavin when you go to store.roosterteeth.com. And you click on a random shirt.

Here's one. Easy Allies weakling t-shirt on the front page. Just scroll down. Oh, they have extra small, small, medium. They have all the sizes up to 4X. Incredible. That's great. Oh, I wonder what sizes they are.

Oh, looking here, there's one number here for medium. Okay. That's interesting. So it's not a range. So it is just a single number and in order for something to be a range like a range of days there would have to be multiple days to choose from but what i'm looking at is just a single number that says chess 20 inches um i mean there's there's range within an inch you're you're saying that what you asked me for when you asked for an extra medium was getting down to quarter inches?

If there's no range, Eric, then extra medium would be 20. No, that's medium. You got me large! That's the problem! You brought large! Yeah, because you wanted something bigger than medium. So what were you saying about the dates? So the beginning of the month is like the 1st to the 10th.

The middle of the month is like the 11th to the 20th. And the end of the month is like the 21st through the 30th to the 31st. However, that sort of ranges out because there's a range of dates there. And the 15th would be medium 20 inches. Medium 20 inches. One number. Looking at one number here. That's just our store. There has been ranges within medium.

There has been ranges within medium. That's what Tony said. There has been ranges within medium when I'm on our store. But what you've proven with the date thing is that at a deep level, at core level, you understand the concept of extra medium.

No, no, I understand the concept of ranges. Yeah. And what you're expressing is not the most medium, which doesn't exist. Because it's not a range, what you've asked for. It's a size. Is this the fifth time we've had this argument? I think it's not a range what you've asked for. It's a size. Is this the fifth time we've had this argument? I think it's...

I'm not having the argument. I'm just, I'm simply stating a fact, and you're arguing, and so, I mean, that's just sort of how it goes. It's really incredible how many people have come out. It's great. I was talking to Jeff about this the other night at dinner. Oh, yeah, let's talk about this dinner. We'll get it

to a next episode. There you go. The thing I really like is the hubris of people making topics going, I'm here to settle the debate. And then they have an opinion and then it's 88 comments of people arguing.

The idea that they're sitting at home going, guys, I've got just the thing that's going to get everyone on the same page and it doesn't buy a mind. I think that's been my favorite part of the whole thing. That and being right have been my favorite parts of the whole thing. Can and being right have been my favorite parts of the whole thing.

Can I ask you a hard-hitting question, Gavin? Yeah. What does extra medium taste like? Pepper. I think it tastes like salt. Somewhere between salt, pepper, and bullshit. One of those three things. Could this episode be salt, pepper pepper and bullshit one of one of those three things salt pepper and bullshit i am so mystified that extra medium has because had the life that it's had like we were discussing this the other day uh it feels like

next to the comment lever versus regulation listener discussion probably the most disgusting in the history of face at this point yeah yeah and we talk about that in uh sausage talk oh yeah i guess we do well it's continued it's gotten gotten even crazier. And I still... You want to find funny ways to turn the bit into, I don't know, some silly piece of merch or some way to elevate this. But I, for the life of me, can't figure out how to turn extra medium into something that people would want to own. Well, I don't think we have to. Yeah, I don't think we have to.

I guess we won't then. Yeah. I mean, it's in the store now. I that I guess they're getting every time every time they buy an extra medium shirt they're buying an extra medium shirt yeah and I think on the on the actual shirt so we printed that way eventually that's yeah we should be very happens insane insane I have a travel story hold on a second I'm taking Eric Hypocrite off. Is that right? Thanks, man.

Yeah, you can go ahead and erase that. Thanks, boss. What's your travel story, Gav? Is your list done? Yeah. Well, I mean, I just have pastrami, but we can get into that whenever. Oh.

No, that's way more important. No, yeah. No, no, no, no. We'll end on pastrami. Tell your travel story. Okay. All right. I was in the airport.

A little family vacation. Talking grandparents, siblings, cousins, the lot. Got everyone going, back to where we're all from in Italy. And we just went to board the plane, and someone is talking, I'm not going to mention who this is, I don't want to say exactly who is responsible for this story.

Someone in my family, talking to me about House of the Dragon. Oh yeah, it's pretty good. They were like, oh yeah, I really like the main guy. I was like, oh yeah, Paddy, Paddy Considine. I like that guy.

He's been a lot of stuff, but he had been in like Bourne Ultimatum and Great and Hot Fuzz is one of the Andes. The World's End, all that, all that, all the Edgar Wright stuff. I shit you not, almost 30 seconds after I just said that,

Edgar Wright, the director of hot fuzz and uh the world's end and shauna the dead and all that all that good stuff that i love just strolled through the uh little boarding area for this flight and sat down and i was like jesus christ i was like oh god that's freaking edgar wright that's amazing and i didn't want to go up to him and say hi or anything because, you know, he's traveling. He's probably working. Didn't want to be weird and annoying. Were you in America, England or Italy at this time? This was in England. This was a Heathrow airport. All right. Thanks. Sorry.

I just didn't, I don't want to make a fool of myself. But I was kind of amazed that that just happened. And then I kept getting put in situations where I ended up like right next to him. And I was like, oh, this should actually be a great opportunity to be like, oh, you know, big fan and all that. I even worked on Hot Fuzz for a day. Could have said that. He's used Phantoms.

I use Phantoms. I'm sure we could have had a decent conversation, but I didn't want to do it. The family member, one of the family members I was with is potty training their kid. And they're trying to get him to go to the bog in real bogs and not piss

a nappy. So they've got this little travel potty thing that folds out on the floor. And for the last hour, they're trying to get him to pee in this thing. Trying to sneak him into a corner, but he just wouldn't go in it. And then right as we boarded the plane, he was able to successfully pee

in this little potty. Got on the plane I was probably in row like 14 or something Edgar went further back. He sort of sat around the area with my family back there We get off the plane and I end up right next to Edgar Wright

again. We get bussed to the airport we were going to. I don't want to say the exact airport because I don't really to say the exact airport. I don't really want to dox his trip. But we're on the bus. He was a little bit behind me. And then the doors to the bus opened. Except my door got stuck shut. So he was in the line of people

going out the door that opened. And by the time he got to me, I'd just been letting people off because I couldn't get through my broken door. And he got to me and was like, Oh yeah, you go next. You've been waiting ages. I was like, Oh, he's a really nice guy. That's great. And he got to me and was like, oh yeah, you go next. You've been waiting ages. I was like, oh, he's a really nice guy. That's great.

I really want to talk to him. I didn't do it. And then I met up with my family member, who has a kid, who said had an absolute nightmare on the plane. Absolute nightmare. I was like, oh, I'm laughing. They're like, well,

we got the kid to pee in the potty, but we didn't have time to empty it and it was like this little sealed plastic potty that you can like strap shut and they were like oh we're on the plane and realised that pressure has a huge impact on

sealed containers they put it in the overhead bin and all the piss had shot out the potty and slid all the way in the overhead bin. And all the piss had shot out the potty. And slid all the way down the overhead bin. And was dripping on basically one entire side of the plane. In the back of the plane. And I was like, oh shit.

I'm sorry. Did he piss on Edgar Wright's head? Apparently a bunch of people was landing on their backs. Oh no. But I couldn't get them to. piss on Edgar Wright's head? Apparently a bunch of people was landing on their backs. Oh no! But I couldn't get them to they didn't really notice Edgar Wright or know what he looked like so I don't know. There's a very

high possibility that one of my family members two year old family members has pissed on Edgar Wright's head. I really hope he wasn't sat below that because I think by the sounds of it it went on about five different people's shoulders. And if Edgar, if you're listening, I hope that I hope you knew nothing of that. And I'm a big fan. Sorry if that happened on behalf of my family. And it just goes to show we are, this podcast cannot

do, we can't do anything with movie directors. That's director number two that are potentially in our bad books. Then we got in a cab and we're traveling up this mountain path. Where we were going is basically on the top of, it's like hundreds of feet above sea level. And I'm sat in the little minicab.

And all I hear coming from the back seat is, and I'm like yelling to the family member again. I'm like, by the way, after all this piss exploded at the top of the plane, did you empty it? And I'm like, well, you know, it mostly got emptied.

What's wrong with your family? What is wrong? It was still spewing out in the back of the minicab, all over the luggage. As we were like slowly driving up, it was going to like, like spurt. I was like,

get this piss out of here. Get the pee away from us what are they doing in that toilet that little mini potty got pressurized twice this damn it i read this respectfully those people suck they stink what are they doing i didn't like i understand they didn't have kids no if your kid pisses in his party they're potty training if he's going to the party and they don't have time to empty it and they're boarding a plane what are you gonna do oh yeah are there no fucking toilets on the plane i think there's a plane void of toilets to do is that we'll get this plane in the air and then dump the pee out.

No, you don't. There's no way. You just, you tell somebody. Everybody is okay with you emptying the piss fucking toilet thing. You just say, hey, this is filled with pee. Can I drain this real quick? It's crazy. As someone who successfully potty trained a kid,

in this case my daughter uh i can confidently say i never got her piss or shit on anyone like that i gotta go with andrew that your family who i i love dearly especially your grandparents and your mom i think i just i think the world of them but the rest of your family if it wasn't those three are disgusting just the uh apparently when it started dripping on everyone, everyone was making a fuss and getting up, and then the flight attendant came over and was like,

whose container is this? And my family member was like, oh, that's ours, because it opened. And the flight attendant was like, yep, what's in it? And my family member was like, you're not's in it? And my family, my dad was like, you're not going to like this. But it's piss.

Apparently they just walked off to get cloths and I think half my family was dying from embarrassment. Oh my God. I couldn't believe that. Like, I don't know what I would have done if I was in that position. I think I would have just had to curl up. I couldn't handle that level of embarrassment.

I don't, yeah, I don't, I don't understand. There's so many things. I don't, it's not even that those family members are gross. They're just completely incompetent. I don't understand any of the choices. Dictionary definition of inept. Yes. Just like,

the icing on the cake is that they still carried the piss around with them to the cab. That's what... At no point do you get this thing as far the fuck away

from me and my family as possible. I would put so much distance between myself and that child toilet. Like, oh my God, dude. That would be like, all right, well, lesson learned here. This is not a travel tool.

It's great at sea level. You know what? No, you're right. You're right, Jeff. This has changed my opinion. First time, incompetence. The second time, psychotic. Psychotic.

This is alarming. I don't think they expected it to happen on the ground. They didn't expect it to happen once. Once it's already happened when you didn't expect it. All rules go out the window. You can no longer trust your read on the situation. I think you are an incredibly decent human being. One of the best in my life.

And I think you must have sapped all of that out of your family. Like you must have taken all the good, conscientious, polite, all of that element of your British society. You got it all and you just, you left them with just like American ethics and morals. Oh man. And I would say, I would say Edgar Wright is my favorite director. I wouldn't say that right now if I were you.

After your family just pissed all over him. I really hope it didn't go on him. I need to know. You know what my favorite part of that story is? I am no longer the definitive piss boy of this podcast. That is, the title has been claimed. That's gone. That's done for me. I can't have that.

Yeah. That two-year-old has that. That's off my record now. It's a great day for me. Congratulations, Andrew. Thank you. I will say, I was going to mention this earlier

when I asked you what country you were in at the time. Because I thought it was. But then the story just kept going and kept going and kept going. But I will say there's a there's a because Edgar Wright is British. You're British, right? Yeah. And this happened in England, irrespective of you, of your family dousing Edgar Wright in urine.

It's we should test this next time you or we are in England. You might have like on home soil, you might have enough like gravitas or success or whatever it is. You might be able to summon certain celebrities to you. This could be a skill you have. There's nothing I want more in the world than to be in a place with Gavin and Edgar Wright and to be able to reveal that hey remember that

time you got pissed on on that plane he's kind of responsible this guy right here do you blood relative do you know do you know anybody who knows Edgar Wright like does Buckley or anybody know Edgar Wright that could find out hey did you get pissed on on a plane recently no I mean

I DM him I'm sure yeah do that like hey i'm wondering if a member of my family may have peed on you recently oh please please we need to know we need definitive answers an attempt needs to be made I could not have been more embarrassed Through blood It was I just As I was being told the story I was like oh no And then I was just like oh no Oh god

Oh that's so good Was Meg around for this? She was sat with me she heard about the story afterwards I would love to I got to go to dinner with y'all soon so I can hear her side of this I bet her insights are gonna be

fantastic I can't wait oh I'm tired after listening to that story this wore me out I'm so happy Gavin that's oh my god you guys realize this is gonna be the next we've already I think identified him but this will be season two of

face animated right regulation animation oh absolutely 100% peeing on Edgar Wright it was hearing the story because I had the story in the airport and we're all sort of still in the airport and I was still weighing up like am I gonna have am I gonna like work up the confidence to just say hi to Edgar Wright

and after I had that story, I was like, I'm going to let Edgar Wright leave, and I hope we don't cross paths in this way ever again. That is brilliant. That might be the best story ever told on this podcast, Gavin. That was a great story. I don't think it was the best, but it was significant. I don't know, dude.

It's up there for sure. I agree with Nick. It's up there. I had just know, dude. It's up there for sure. I agree with Nick. It's up there. I was, I had just put at about for about five solid minutes. I just had to have my, I just put my head down on my table and just giggled into my arms and was useless. I couldn't do anything but laugh uncontrollably. Oh, I'll be honest.

I'm excited. I don't want to tell. I'm sorry. What are you excited about, Andrew? I was just going to say I'm excited because I don't want to tell. I'm sorry. What are you excited about, Andrew? I was going to say I'm excited because I feel like we're all happy right now. And based off of what you said, the next episode is going to be very contentious. So I'm trying to live in this moment. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe we should live in the revel in this moment. What I was going to say is I'll be honest. I think my pastrami story is going to be a huge letdown after that. So I don't really know. I'm telling it. That was kind of mean, Gavin. You should have closed with that.

You should have let... He tried. I figured next time would be all about the food challenge. That's fair. Do we want to do pastrami to open? I'll open. We'll open with pastrami. It's a really... It's a non-event. I mean, next to that. I'm excited. I have questions. I feel like this opens all sorts of doors for mean, next to that. I'm excited. I have questions.

I feel like this opens all sorts of doors for you food-wise. I need information. Thank you for listening to another episode. Probably what's going to go down as one of my favorites of all time because of the last 12 minutes or so. Episode of F*** Face. Really appreciate the support. If you're going to pee in public, do it in a toilet. And if you do it in a toilet, don't put that toilet above your head.

And, uh, go ahead and rate and review if you feel like it. Keep your urine to yourself. Thanks. Hey, guys. Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Jeff revisits the P word. Let's get specific on letter food rules. G for Gavin.

Penn gets incredibly lucky. Jeff is incredibly unlucky. Is there any way to play Halo co-op? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face. We'll see you next time.