F**kface - What is Weather? // There's Money in the Leaf Game [154]

Episode Date: May 17, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about cars we identify with, Flintstoning it, Stewart the Bumbling Customer footage, A Spring Guy, Geoff's waking thoughts, hot dog issue, leaf industries, F**kface museum, overseas poop, flags, icy hot while needing to pee, deodorant, Geoff's book, cookbooks, accidental murder, and a .22. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] RTX July 7-9 and you can come to see the F**kface Museum in PERSON. WOW! www.rtxaustin.com for tix and info Sponsored by Better Help http://betterhelp.com/face HelloFresh http://hellofresh.com/face16 and use code face16 and RTX www.RTXaustin.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit dragonsdogma.com to buy the game and start your epic quest today. That's D-R-A-G-O-N-S-D-O-G-M-A.com to learn more. This is a Rooster Teeth production. If you're gonna say that your engine, Jeff, what type of car would your engine be? The rhythm. The rhythm of. What car are you?

And would I find you in your yard if I dug deep enough? How far would I have to? That's a heavy question to ask somebody. What type of engine are they? What kind of car are they? What type of car they are. What kind of car? Hold on a second.

Hold on a second. Hello and welcome to another episode of F*** Face. Episode 155. My name is Geoffrey. I'm with me as always, Gavin Free, Andrew Payton. What kind of car are you? I thought this was 154. It is 154. I think this was 154 it is 154

what did I say I think 5 hello welcome to the Facebook podcast my name is Jeff Ramsey as always Gavin Free Andrew Patton this is episode 154 let's go what kind of car are you are you asking the audience or are you asking one of us I'm asking you oh asking me

is a golf cart a car sure yeah sure i think it's a car in gta yeah sure i think i'm a golf cart okay and eric what kind of car are you it i am a 1972 uh chevy nova matt black she wish that's me that's a pretty fucking nice car dude yeah if i had all the money in the world like it was was no object, that's the car I would buy. I have a whole thing where if I was like super, super rich, I would buy a hundred of those and I would drive them off a cliff every day and jump out and parachute down to safety

and then have a helicopter pick me up. I have like a whole plan. I have like a whole plan for like what I'd listen to and like how it would go. That's great. Oh, great. Gavin, what type of car are you? Probably a Reliant Robin. Reliant Robin. Can you send three wheels? What is a Reliant Robin? It's the

three-wheeled one, right? Where that always tilts when you turn too fast. There we go. Yeah. They don't actually roll over. You have to kind of mess with them to make them do that. But yeah, you're not,

you're not feeling like you're more of a rugged Robin. I like a rugged Robin. It's, it's, oh, it's cool. Military version. If we ever have a face car,

can it be that? That's pretty cool. That's, that's incredible. It's so cool. And the bonus part is that you look so cool in it. You can be cool. Jeff, don't you think that could be you?

I wish. I don't think I'm cool enough. That's definitely Gavin. That's a, that's what, that's, which personality is that, Gavin? Who's? Oh, that's definitely Errol's car. That's Errol's car?

I would say I get out of the Reliant's definitely Errol's car. Mine's Errol's car. Okay. I would say I get out of the Reliant Robin and Errol gets into the rugged Robin. Nick, what kind of car are you? Oh God. I wish I had something that cool. I have the 1967 Ford Mercury Cougar. That's a nice car.

That's a classic baby. What is the car that Charlie Sheen went into when he got killed when he died and then what was that what car was that it's a movie it's uh it's like the spirit maybe what's that movie called it's a great dumb movie like the fan the phantom that sounds right is it the wrath yeah it's oh isn't it the Wrath? What? The Wraith? The Wraith! I think it's the Wraith. Where Charlie Sheen dies and then he possesses a car and he gets revenge on the people that killed him?

What car is that? That's a great car. It should possess a Rolls Royce Wraith. I don't think it's that. Have you not seen this movie? Anybody here outside of Eric? Oh, man, this movie rips, dude. It's so good. Should we put it on the list?

I think it's in contention. I don't know that it's a list, it could be a list movie, it's pretty cool. What is that? I'm not saying we should watch it,

but I think it's definitely on the list. It's worth talking about at some point. It's so sick. It's such a dumb movie. It is, it's real fucking dumb.

It's like real fucking dumb. I never heard of that movie. What? Yeah. I would love to throw down a cool car like maybe like even the car I drive but if I'm being honest with you guys

I think I'm this. I think I'm a Jeep Grand Wagoneer with wood paneling. I think it's definitely the wood paneling man. Yeah. Absolutely. Sturdy. Sturdy wood paneling man yeah yeah absolutely i think sturdy sturdy wood paneling a lot of room in there were you in a lot of those as a youngin uh no more than anybody else but i have been in them before i definitely am extremely fond of that car

is there a car that you when you think about being a kid and being driven around like going to like do errands with your parents or whatever is there a car that like you identify that with like it's like very like tied to you being in like the back seat or like the front seat yeah voxel astra a what a voxel astra a voxel astra let me find a picture yeah you need to send one voxel boxel boxel voxel dude i think me and nick are talking about like the same car it is uh like a mid 80s oh whoa gavin that's a whoa that's a good that is oh yeah imagine that but like a navy blue yeah uh that Yeah. That was also where I gained all of my love for the 80s because it was all that my parents had on tape was just 80s music.

This is, I mean, yeah, like me and Nick said pretty much the same car. It's a mid-80s Honda Civic four-door sedan. Yes. And you're thinking Honda Civic, like it will be, oh yeah, you know, like an early 2000s Honda Civic four-door sedan. Yes. And you're thinking Honda Civic, like it will be, oh, yeah, you know, like an early 2000s Honda Civic. No, no. They used to be very different cars. And that is, man, that is like where I gained consciousness.

Like I became sentient in the backseat of an 87 Honda Civic. I would have to say this car. A 1972 Ford Courier pickup. Awesome. Wow, that's so American. That is a good one. God, yeah, that's so American. My dad drove one of those.

That actually, that car became a hand-me-down to me. It was my first car when i turned 16 and it was awesome except that the driver's side door fell off so my dad had it my dad had it hooked up where with so you couldn't open the driver's side door it was held on with a twisted coat hanger so you had to get him through the passenger side and by the time it got to me the floorboard on the driver's side had completely fallen through. So you couldn't drive it in the rain or you would get splashed. That's so good.

There you go. What about you, Andrew? I don't I'm terrible with car names. So it's what my childhood car that i think about is very similar to sort of what you like the color that you posted with like the body of what eric posted i wish i knew i'll maybe i'll do some research on this figure that out but wow what unexpected turn what cars we are i love that if your car you essentially were driving in a flintstones vehicle, it sounds

like, Jeff, where you put your feet through the bottom. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you ever Flintstone it? No, I never did. I was, I had a there was a girl on my street who I was friends with who would sometimes get a ride to school

with me, and she was so embarrassed to ride in my car that she we worked it out ahead of time. She was like, I a ride to school with me. And she was so embarrassed to ride in my car that we worked it out ahead of time. She was like, I'll ride to school with you, but when we get to the school, I get to lay my head down and nobody gets to see me in the car. And she would hide in my truck on the way to school every day

as soon as we got close to the high school, just so nobody saw her get in and out of my car. Well, I hope it wasn't raining because it sounds like she gets puddled in the face if she was leaning down too high. I took the bus on rainy days. That's fantastic. Do you

want to see a thing that I've got? I would love to see a thing that you've got. I've got some found footage. What? Oh my god, he's streaming. He's going, we gotta watch like a live feed? I thought you were just gonna have like a clip. It is, but it's bigger than 25 megs so we still don't have nitro. Oh, this looks like

We went over this Eric one. We don't need nitro. Yeah, I went if it's video Yeah, well no Jeff just posted like three videos, but it's fine. I went can everyone see this. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, this is footage from 2008 almost 15 years to the month ago Yeah It's raining Are you filming? Uh, no, my friend is filming this. Okay.

Look at you fucking vouching about that. Oh! This is your character stew at the bubbling customer what is Stuart looking for This is so good. This is awesome. Gavin, you're like Mr. Bean. This is fucking great. This is so fucking funny, dude. This is so... You're so like...

The way you're doing it is so like nonchalant. This is so good. Well, you know, Gavin grew up... Gavin's from the same town as Mr. Bean, so maybe it's, like, a local thing. Yeah. Oh, he got a different shirt. This is a completely different store.

Yeah, this is actually three different days. I had a bow chick about our shirt a uh a griffin shirt and i think i think this is a shirt for jason saldani's old band visitors yeah wow crazy that's crazy oh man i never want to see stewart the bumbling in a store in person, but watching the footage of him was thrilling. I found so much joy there.

It's quite early, Stuart. I would say Stuart escalated the antics as the years went on until he died maybe a couple years later. He died. Yeah, we need to get the tombstones. We talked about this. We gotta find a grave spot for Stuart and Errol. Yeah, I'll try and find some more, Stuart.

I bet there's a ton more. That was a great video. That was an awesome video, guys. Did you guys see the video that was sent to us earlier in the week? No. No, you did. You absolutely saw it. You commented on it.

You're the only one that commented on it. TPG emailed us something. Oh, right. And a video. One of the best videos I've seen in a long time. It made my night. I don't know if we want to. It would be a pain in the ass to insert the audio of it.

But what a video. It is. It's called A Spring Guy. And it can be viewed here. Yeah. I talked to him about it ahead of time. He's fine with us using it. Oh, you talked to him about it?

You guys ready? Yeah, let's go. One minute. This is from TPG, A Spring Guy. I used to be a real summer guy. I used to be a real winter kid. But now that I'm back in the Northeast, I think I'm really becoming a spring guy. You see, there's something wonderful about spring.

Looking at all the little leaves coming back. Oh, look, my grass is still there. It's got me thinking a lot about the seasons thrill it's got me thinking a lot about the seasons it's got me thinking a lot about weather and I asked myself the other day when I was walking checking out trees

are sunsets and sunrises weather are they no different than a rainstorm after all what is weather if not Sunrises, weather Are they no different than a rainstorm? After all What is weather If not Nature's majesty So my question for you bros

Are sunsets Or sunrises Weather Like rain Does it even matter? Does it even matter? That even matter so people just listening to dotty it was a slow pan of a sunset of trees it's like the ending of a john hughes movie it does have very strong john hughes vibes i love that he just makes these and sends them to us it made my evening i was so happy to see it

it was so good i think it. It was so good. I think it's an important thing to answer. I commented on the unlisted YouTube link, so the only comment was from the Slow Mo Guys account saying yeah, dude. Is sunsets and sunrises

weather or no? I don't think so so i don't think that's how that works no um yeah definitely not but no i mean but i would say a good sunset is weather yeah so a regular sunset is not weather but a good sunset is weather well the act of the sun setting isn't weather because it happens every day for everyone. But sometimes there's just some gnarly cloud in front of it. And the oranges and the reds. That's not weather, dude. That's not weather.

Cloud is weather? But that's not the sunset. That's cloud. The cloud is the weather. The cloud is separate from. The sun setting is different to the total sunset. The sunset is like a vista. It's a frog, a vista. That's why I say, is a frog a car?

Because they both go. It's great. A frog isn't a car, but if it is on top of a car, then it may in fact be a car. I mean, I just think Tim had a great point where if, what is weather if not nature's majesty? Yeah, it's great. That's fantastic.

Did you consider that? No, I hadn't considered. It's a great counterpoint. I think my favorite counterpoint is, does it even matter? I don't think it does. This is truly a video created by a man going stir crazy with three small children in a home in the American Northeast. Like he is going nuts inside of a house and going,

what is weather? Is it sunset? This is what happens when you have kids and live in the cold. It genuinely brought me so much joy to see that i get so excited whenever we get a tpg email and a video oh so good dude that was brilliant i like that the email was just called a spring guy and started the high bros i gotta say man there is nobody else at least in my experience in my 47 years on earth I've never met anybody else quite like TPG he is

in every way a snowflake he is individual man I knew I knew that I was really on to someone different when I heard that sometimes he talked to Gavin and Gavin liked him yeah that's like the highest bar to set When I heard that sometimes he talked to Gavin and Gavin liked him.

Yeah. Yeah. That's true. That's like the hardest, that's like the highest bar to set. Yeah. I felt the same way. Cause he's somebody who has to like bug me a lot about various brand stuff. And,

uh, you know, that's, that's never a great relationship between anyone. And I'm, for some reason, me and him, it just works.

It's great. It's great. He's so good great he's so good I wonder if he knows how unique he is I think he does hell of a guy yeah dude

yeah I went to rewatch that video last night and I didn't expect that and it cracked me up once again. I laughed so hard seeing you comment. Oh, that's brilliant. He is great. That is great.

Hey, I've been doing that. I've been trying a new thing that I wanted to bring up to you guys. And then I wanted to see if you also had any interest in trying it just to see like what the differences would be. So I've been you know, I have a lot. I used to have a lot of my ideas in the shower, but for whatever reason, I don't anymore. And then I had a period in my life where I would wake up at like four in the morning

with an idea and I'd have to write it down. And I don't do that anymore. But now I find I have most of my ideas for stuff right after I wake up in the morning. So this week, I've been, I've made it a point to write down the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning. So this week, I've been I've made it a point to write down the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning. My phone is next to me in my bed.

And so the second I wake up and I realize I'm awake, I pick up my phone and then I write down the first thing that comes to my mind. Waking thoughts, yeah. And so I've got four for you I was going to share and then I was going to see if you guys wanted to go ahead and try if you wanted to try ahead and try. Yes. If you wanted to try it as well.

Okay. My first thought I had, I had this on Monday morning when I woke up. The first thing that came into my mind was, I wish my nickname was T-Bone. And if it was, if it was, I would get a tattoo of a T-Bone. And then I thought, if I get the tattoo of a T-bone, and then I thought, if I get the tattoo of a T-bone, can I backdoor into the nickname? Would you think so? Because Jeff has so many tattoos.

I feel like it would be... Jeff, if you get a T-bone tattoo and you want me to start calling you T-bone, I'm in. I think I do. I think I want to be called T-bone. I don't know why. What about G-Bone? That's exactly what I was going to say, Gavin. It could morph into G-Bone, which got me thinking,

and now we're going to take a bit of an aside for a second. If you guys could pick your own nickname, what would you pick? Oh, man. You don't have to answer right now. It could be homework. You want to think, because this is how you're going to you're choosing to self-identify to people for the rest of your life. So like, what would you determine your nickname to be? Just something to think about.

Maybe for. It's not going to be Raymond. Not that much. Cross that off the list. Yeah, I don't think I'd go with Errol. Yeah. Like people call you Gavino. And Millie used to call you,

Millie spent her entire childhood calling you Gaver. But, like, if you got to pick, what would you call yourself? I feel like it's so tough to come up with a nickname for yourself that comes, like, that's a good one. Yeah. Like the G-Bone, a T-Bone scenario. That's a very rare occurrence.

I feel like you guys were throwing out, like, oh, Raymond and errol and like regular names but like you wouldn't go with something like task master like you know what i mean like you wouldn't go like way further i think i don't know that example specifically feels tough yeah so it should be on the along the lines of t-bone along the line yeah or like whatever like i knew a guy in high school everybody called... It doesn't have to be steak related. But like,

although I realize I was about to say, I knew a guy in high school everybody called him meat. That's a good nickname. Hey, what's up, meat? Why were all of your dudes just like one word? Like porch and meat?

Well, I wasn't friends with porch. Porch scared the hell out of me. Fester. I just thought people had beat me up in the past. Do you think Fester or Porch have messaged you on Facebook in the last 10 years? I don't think Fester and Porch know my name, and I hope they don't. I also don't know if either of those dudes are still alive, to be honest with you. They look like they were living pretty hard and fast and rough.

Okay. Well, anyway, something to think about. Next, the Tuesday morning, the first thing I thought of when I woke up is all exit signs should be changed to just say leave. I don't know why. That is the first thing that popped into my head is like I would rather see a sign that says leave than exit. I feel like it's more. It's got more punch to it. An emergency leave?

Yeah. Ooh, I like emergency lever. Yeah. Pull something like that. I like that. I like that combination. On Wednesday, my first thing that popped into my head was just hot dogs. Just hot dogs.

Really? Not eating them, not making them. Just them. Just thinking of a hot dog and a bun. That's what I woke up thinking about. I wasn't really craving them. I just wanted hot dogs. Hot dogs. I had a hot dog issue happen recently.

There's a food truck festival that happens like once a month that I get excited to go to. And there's this barbecue one that's great. And the first time I went to it, they had hot dogs. And so I wanted to try the hot dog. And I typically only like like ketchup on my hot dog,

I'd say generally. And I know in Chicago, there's that place that like they hate you. If you ask for ketchup, I don't remember what that store is called, but I've created this in line for the hot dog. I created this scenario in for the hot dog i created this scenario in my head where uh because they're barbecue people they would share the same opinions

and they would look down upon me if i asked for ketchup on my hot dog but i don't like anything else on it so i just planned on ordering it plain was my workaround and so i got to the front and they're like what do you want and i was like i'll have a i'll have a plain hot dog please and the woman behind the counter looked visibly alarmed. It was so much worse than if I would have just said ketchup. And she was like, you want a plain hot dog? And I was like, yep, plain hot dog, please. And she's like, okay, plain hot dog.

And so they made it. And then the guy went to give it to me. And he's like, so you don't even want ketchup on this? And at that point, I was so committed to the plain hot dog i like i just plan on putting ketchup on it when i got home i was like nah just a plain i'll keep it plain so i i went with the plain hot dog out of fear they would think i was weird or like would look down upon me for the ketchup and it was so much worse they thought i was truly a psychopath for ordering there was so much worse. They thought I was truly a psychopath for ordering. There was so much judgment.

I did. And my attempt to avoid being the weird guy, I was in fact the weird guy with my hot dog, my plain hot dog. I went to Kentucky recently with Dan and we just went to a restaurant that was like walking distance from a hotel, which I feel like everywhere I go that's like that,

I end up walking down a big like grass berm with just like a highway next to it but we ended up at this restaurant dan got some fries and uh and then he was like yeah can i have some mayo and the woman just like looked so confused and then walked away to get some and then halfway to like the kitchen she turned around and came back and was like i'm sorry i'm just gonna go and get you your mayo but i have to ask like what what's it for and she was like that okay and then she i think she was like at her core deeply disturbed by the idea of dipping your chips in ketchup. I mean, in mayo.

Yeah, the American South doesn't do that. Yeah. It's a pretty popular thing in England. I think it's probably more accessible in North America, like North North America, too. I think it's more common, but it is. It is definitely it's a ketchup or nothing in the South, pretty much. My kind of place, it sounds like. Big ketchup guy.

The last thought I had, I woke up this morning, and the first thing that popped into my head, this was a more complicated thought, so I guess I'm getting better at capturing my actual deeper thoughts. Do you know how theuit, the Inuit have 50 words for snow? Yeah. I feel like

f*** face, we're developing that many words for f***ing up. With salad creaming and gregging and f*** face, it's like,

I feel like we're gonna be, we're like, we're zeroing in where we've developed, like, we're gonna develop like 50 different ways

like intricate ways to describe exactly the way a person fucks up yeah we should we should count how many do we have at least three but i bet there's yeah i mean we got wilford brimley we got brimley in it oh we got brilliant that's another one yeah yeah there's probably twice as many as we can initially think of the history of this show yeah yeah the audience will fill it in but anyway that's something to think about uh we uh uh we're we're really dialing in i wrote one down the other morning it was this was also like right after i woke up and i don't really know why i wrote in my face notes because i just don't know what context this we brought up i just wrote there's money in the leaf game I think I think what I was thinking

is how have so many people gotten so rich by just selling leaves like just shit that like like lettuce like the amount of different leaf industries that there are is unbelievable. Almost every plant you can sell. So you're saying that maybe we should get out of Jeff's idea of poison, doing the next poison, and maybe we need a leaf is the direction we should go in. There might be more success in leaves? Yeah, I think I was just thinking of the supermarket and how much of it is you're buying different leaves. And that sort of connects to Jeff's leave sign. I think this was just thinking of the supermarket and how much of it is you're buying different leafs.

And that sort of connects to Jeff's leave sign. I think this is all connected. I think we need to pursue the leaf thing. There's something in the air with leaves. Right next to leave is leaves. And it's like one door to get out, one door to salad. Maybe instead of having signs that just say leave, maybe they need to be universal because not everybody speaks English

Maybe it should just be a picture of a leaf and that should be the you know, forget out For exit. Yeah, it makes sense though because outside is leaves What do you mean I drew I think if you put a sign of a leaf over a lot of doorways I don't think people are going to interpret that as leave this way to leave yeah Nick is I don't think they're auto filling this is genius Nick is right

because there's that for like Nick just put in the chat make like a tree and leave it even makes more sense I'm such a big fan of a thought process that is four steps removed from what the initial thing is so no one could really follow the logic but you could kind of see how they got there almost uh why don't we this is truly that rtx just put up a load of i'm sure this is i'm sure this complies with Code cover all the exit signs

With leaves and see what happens May well listen in the museum In the museum we can do that we can Like we can control the museum I was Thinking you know what else we should do in the museum we should Hang no scrumping signs everywhere Yeah yeah it's important Not as a part of the display but as a like

Keep your fucking hands to yourself But isn't scrumping just apples? Yeah, but we got to make sure you never know. In face lore, it could be anything. Scrumping is now synonymous with stealing in general, I think. Got it. Oh, man. We could try.

We could try and get that on the code of conduct for the convention. Oh, that's a very good idea. Let me pop that. Yeah, let me get into a Slack conversation real quick because I'm going to throw that out. I'm going to be like, hey, make sure this is in there. Thank you. Hey, Gav, can I ask you a question for some advice?

Do you know how you're from... It's okay. You know how you're from England and when you're in England, you shit better than when you're in America and you always talk about how when you come to America, your shits are way worse? I'm going to Italy for vacation next week.

And I'm going to be there for a couple weeks. And I got to thinking, how are Italian shits? Because you spend a lot of time there too. Will my shits be different in Italy, do you think? Well, here's the thing. And this might be just for me. My Italian shits are absolutely horrendous. And I think it's because

I think it's because as I get older I'm losing cheese. I think I'm becoming more and more allergic to dairy. Every time I eat cheese now it never agrees with me. And you eat cheese constantly in Italy. Well, you know, it's on

it's in like a carbonara or like a pizza. Sometimes you just have cheese. So I'm I need to look forward to really bad shitting in Italy. I would prepare for it, yeah. I was hoping you'd be like, oh no, it's even better than England. You're gonna have like tiny baby shits and I was gonna be like,

oh great, I'm gonna get like a two week vacation from my own butthole, but I guess not. Yeah, I wouldn't prepare for that. It sounds like you need to bring your shitting shades. You need to be, because it sounds like it's going to be a terrible time, you need something to counter that. Nothing better than the shitting shades to counter the bad shits.

I will definitely bring my shitting shades, so even if I'm miserable, I'll at least look good doing it. Do you think we could petition Italy to change their flag to the image that Eric just posted? The hand? The pinched fingers hand the pinched fingers hand what's up with that what's wrong with that you like it have you ever been to italy eric no it's like that's a hundred percent real

oh really yeah like you'd see like two italian men into it. That is happening on both sides. It's pretty, I like it. You guys just started talking about Italy and I immediately started going, ooh, gotta find the pinchy fingers. Got it. I think it'd be a flag. Canada has a maple leaf. Why can't Italy have the pinchy fingers thing?

Leaf, maple leaf. Oh, leaves. There you go, money in the leaves. More leaves. I went to an austin fc game like a week ago and we played vancouver and they did the canadian national anthem before the american national anthem and they had the canadian flag up and it really kind of struck me like oh there's just like a leaf on this thing yeah yeah he's got a leaf on like i knew it you know like

intellect you know like intellect you know like intellectually you know something but then like it sort of like dawns on you it just i guess it was very weird it was just like huh as someone who lives in canada it's very jarring for you to say it would be like for me saying to you i was at a game and i realized the american flag has stars on it like it's just it's such a it's a staple it's the central part but the thing. Like, if you would say that to me, I would know what you meant. Cause I'd be like, Oh yeah, I guess I really never thought about how they are stars. Like that's a weird shape. That would be like, Oh yeah, it's just triangles. Like that's a weird thing to have. It's just straight. Like not most flags are just colored

stripe blocks. What the italian flag just had 50 tiny pinch finger gestures that's the best of all of us each region you put it you put them on different sides so it's like they're facing each other so it's like an argument on the flag it's great it really lets you know what you're getting into. Yeah. Just be a bunch of pitch figures in a volcano in the middle. I didn't realize until I probably was a teenager when I realized that the Union Jack isn't symmetrical. And I hate looking at it now.

It really pisses me off. Wait, I don't think. Wait, what do you mean? It's not symmetrical. Let me face the lines are not equal. Right. It really pisses me off. Wait, what do you mean it's not symmetrical? The lines are not equal, right? It's to the left, right? Oh, what the fuck? You can have it the wrong way around.

And then you're like, oh shit, which way? The top right one has to be high and the bottom... What? I've never... What? That's dumb. Why wouldn't they just be in the middle? Yeah, I don't know. It was extra annoying when Rooster Teeth made the Vav shirt because it was like a Union Jack in a, I think it was in a V shape. But it just, it looks so wrong because half of it,

like one of the lines is like missing on one side. Super annoying. Pisses me off all the time. Thankfully, if you live in England, you don't really see it that much because we don't we don't put our own flag up everywhere jeff do you have any flag complaints or flag thoughts you had waking up this week no those were all the thoughts i had this week i feel like yeah i've i haven't i've i've honestly i've i haven't thought about flags a lot since our flag era i'm excited

to do the the morning exercise of that i've been trying to think of like what I've been thinking about. The only thing I could think of is where's the icing. That would have been one of the mornings. Yeah, that could be one. Yes. Just like the first thing, because you don't really think about it when you're waking up. You're like, oh, I'm awake.

And then you're like, and then it's just like you get flooded with real thoughts, but also just nonsense. That's like hangover, like leftovers from a dream or whatever, you know? And it's just like, it's just interesting to see. I'm gonna get a pad from my bedside it's fun you should do it you ever ask yourself what's hello fresh thank god you came here because i have the answer for you it is a farm fresh pre--portioned, ingredient-filled,

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meals plus free shipping. That's HelloFresh. America's number one meal kit. Hey. You. Yeah. Everyone. I'm talking to all of you. We wanted to take a moment to remind you. Now I'm not talking to him or her. I'm talking to all of you we wanted to take a moment to remind you now I'm not talking to him or I'm talking specifically to you we want to remind you that RTX 2023 is happening

this July 7th through this July 9th that includes July 8th you're getting the 7th you're getting the 8th and you're getting the 9th all in July, all in Austin, all 2023. It's our favorite time of the year where we get to interact with all the amazing people that give us the opportunity to make all of this mediocre content. It is a celebration of all things Rooster Teeth. Whee! With panels, special guests, community artists, cosplay. The kids love cosplay these days.

And even more. There'll be exclusive reveals meet and greets with rooster teeth talent and i said talent in quotes and special merch available only during the event that part's actually pretty cool we're changing up how the convention feels this year and it's going to be awesome imagine a mini epcot style convention center show floor with different attractions and activations from your favorite roost teeth brands all wrapped up in a summer camp theme except unlike epcot we're not trying to teach you anything it is the summer camp for indoor kids with face jams rat and grackle pub the red web escape room and a face museum that has to be seen to be believed also achieve 100 mini golf is

making an appearance and even more cool stuff to do that we're saving for the attendees to experience. I can't even tell you about it. Thanks for listening to me get very excited about RTX. We are looking forward to meeting all of you there. So head on over to www.RTXAustin.com. dot R-T-X-A-U-S-T-I-N dot com. That's www.RTXAustin.com to get more information about the event and to buy your badge

and a badge for your friend and maybe a badge for your co-worker, maybe a badge for an acquaintance who you would like to be a friend. Badge, badge, badge. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. I don't know about you, but as a parent and then also as the co-founder of a company, I spend a lot of time caring and loving and worrying about other people.

And I think as tends to be the case as we get older in life and our loved ones get older on both ends of the dial there, kids and parents, and life gets more complicated, you find, I think, less time to kind of focus on you because you're so busy, worried about, you know, saving for the kids college or making sure that, you know, your mom's doing all right all the way over there in Alabama by herself. And that's why it's really easy to get caught up in what everyone else needs from you because people need stuff from you, and you're important to them, and they're important to you, and that's kind of how the symbiosis of life works. But it makes it hard sometimes for you to take a moment

to think about what you really need for yourself. you to take a moment to think about what you really need for yourself. Like for me, I've learned that I need a certain amount of time to myself every day to go for a walk or to bike ride. I've been experimenting with running. It's not going great. But just to kind of clear my head and kind of give me a moment to kind of focus and ground. And also, I need therapy. Every week of my life, I need therapy. And I make sure to get it. It's something you got to watch out for because when you spend all of your time giving, it can leave you feeling stretched thin and burned out.

And if you don't have time and energy for you and what you need, how are you supposed to take care of those around you? Therapy can give you the tools to find more balance in your life so that you can keep supporting others without leaving yourself behind. Uh, cause once again, if you, if you can't, if you can't take care of your needs first, then you're, you're, you're going to fall flat everywhere else and you're not going to be able to take care of the needs of others and the people that matter to you most.

I've been in therapy. Um, well, about as long as I can remember at this point, and I don't know what I would do without it. It's become like this kind of sacrosanct, perfect hour in the week where I can kind of go into a bubble and just kind of process and think about the problems in my life, think about the issues, think about, you know, the things that are nagging me from the past and work through it with someone who understands me and who is an unbiased, nonjudgmental ear who just kind of helps me navigate these things. And it's become invaluable to me. I don't know what I would do without it. So if you're thinking about maybe taking some time for you, maybe to talk to somebody who isn't already embroiled in your life,

like a friend or family member, somebody who's kind of on the outside, who is completely unbiased, and who can listen with a critical ear and a kind ear, maybe give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. So just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed

therapist, and then you can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Your first therapist might not actually be the perfect therapist for you. I've seen a few over the years, and sometimes it takes a while to find the person who just like kind of matches who you are and what you need. So find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash face today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash face. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to BetterHelp.com slash face to get 10% off your first month.

BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com slash face to get 10% off your first month. Hey, can I ask you guys an opinion on something? Of course. I got into a disagreement with Eric a couple weeks ago. Oh, I think I want to tell you guys about how I f***ed myself. I've been meaning to tell you this for like two months.

But I got into a disagreement with Eric the other day, and I wanted to see how you guys felt about it. And I bet Eric doesn't even know what I'm talking about. But I got into a disagreement with Eric the other day, and I wanted to see how you guys felt about it. And I bet Eric doesn't even know what I'm talking about. But I was at RT to film something. I think I was doing promos or something. And I realized right as we were about to go that I had to pee. And Eric was like, well, let's just go pee and come back and we'll do it.

And I was like, no, let's just go pee and come back, and we'll do it, and I was like, no, I'd rather do it having to pee because the immediacy of needing to pee will make me sharper and better because I'll do it first take because I have the impetus to pee, so peeing, needing to pee, makes you a better performer,

and he said I was an idiot. No, not at all. I get what you're saying, but I think in the context of like what we were going to film, it was like, oh, I don't, that's not what I'm looking. I'm not looking for that. Just go pee. You said needing to pee doesn't make you better at stuff.

You told me that. And I think I disagree. I think I get what you're coming with at like, with like the energy, but I don't think, I don't think I'm getting a better performance from you because you need to go pee. I disagree.

I disagree. So you, you, you don't think it works the same way as I see hot, right? Which, which I don't know if that made us better performers all around, but,

um, so I'm a jury still out maybe on the Icy Hot also. If you have to pee and you do Icy Hot, are you at peak level? Well, listen, if you're doing the Icy Hot and you have to pee, that's a very dangerous hand situation you got going on. There's other factors you need to worry about. I would also say that's a scenario for pissing your pants.

I could see how that could go terribly wrong. What do you mean by that? Just because I'm clenching and wriggling around and my little piss might come out. And your focus is split. It's split between having to pee the pain of the Icy Hot and whatever you're trying to focus on. That's dangerous.

That is a great point. That being said, if you can pull it off without pissing your pants it'll probably be the best performance of your life i think it becomes more impressive the performance like even if it's not the best when you hear that that guy was dealing with icy hot and had to pee it's like oh shit that guy had icy hot all over his balls and he had to pee so bad the whole time. Daniel Day-Lewis filmed the entire film needing to pee with Icy Hot all over his body. Give him six Oscars.

They just had DiCaprio with Icy Hot balls needing to pee. I heard that's why Revenant's so good. What do you think makes more of an impact needing to pee or needing to poo oh uh uh pee pee pee i can hold it i can hold a poo forever yeah pee for sure yeah i feel like a poo can retreat a little yeah i feel like you got more you've got more leeway with a poo yeah but piss is piss that's not that's kind of nowhere yeah and it's and the older you get, it's like there's no gentle ramp up of like, oh, I need to pee eventually. It's like when you hit your 40s, you're like, I need to pee, and I need to pee yesterday.

Then why did you hold it? To get through, to do a better job for you because I wanted to do the best job possible. Jeff is a clutch performer, and he just needed to set the stakes for him to have that clutch performance he keeps saying it's for me and it's not for me this is like RTX stuff and it's not for me it was you the one that asked me to do it and so I did it

I agree with you completely Jeff do you have anything that makes you sweat that isn't heat related yeah yeah yeah this happened the other day i was doing uh face jam social stuff with nick and we filmed i mean hopefully it's out by this time we filmed with kenny omega from aew and paul sheer from human giant um yeah and for some reason it was fine all day i had no problem whatever as soon as i started asking them questions, like performing to ask them these questions,

I was sweating so hard and I wasn't on camera. I was behind the camera asking questions and I was just fucking sweating. I don't know why, but it was really distinct. It stuck out to me and I just went, why am I'm soaked right now? Crazy. I get soaked to the bone if I have to vomit.

Like if I'm nauseous. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. That's the thing that comes to mind. I had one the other day. I had a, you know, as I get older, I'm the hairiest person I know. And it just, it goes to new places. So I waxed the top part of my back, and it was so painful.

And my entire body just filled with sweat. If I did like five wax strips on my back and then put a shirt on, I would soak right through it, I think. Nothing to do with heat. Do you like pit out on shirts? If you wear a gray shirt, do you get big out on shirts? Like, do you like, if you wear like a gray shirt, do you get like big sweat, like pit stains? I think, well, yeah, if I'm like sat at a desk, I do.

Okay. It depends on the deodorant. I've been trying to get away. I don't know if we talked about this here. I've been trying to not be an antiperspirant guy and just being a deodorant guy. Yeah. Yeah. Because you get Alzheimer's, right?

Yeah. It's like, it's yeah it's like it's hard it's i can smell me sometimes and that's not good and it's like i feel like if you shower every day though it's rarer no i agree with jeff no no it's i've done the same thing for the exact same reasons eric and it's really frustrating because antiperspirant deodorant is better deodorant than just deodorant. It absolutely is. It's weird, but I don't use it anymore either. I just use deodorant now as well because I don't want to die or whatnot.

And yeah, it's fucking miserable. It really sucks. Is that a real thing or is that just something someone said once and everyone got scared? Oh, I think it's that. I mean, I don't know that it's actually real it's like a lumen like it's like a lumen a minute or something yeah it's a thing where like i just it can't be healthy for you to put something on to make you stop sweating that much right sure it just can't be so i'm just going like i'll just do deodor. And then it just feels like a gamble. It's like,

I wish I could carry deodorant with me and it wouldn't melt and I would be fine, but it ain't happening. You could carry a can. I don't think a can's gonna be, like it'd have to be like a very small can. Yeah.

I don't think can, I don't think spray works as well as roll on. Me neither. It also makes me sticky. Oh, interesting. And plus with spray, you get overs spray and then you're like i've noticed that sometimes with like like uh if you're using like i don't know a hair

spray or something too close to a wall you lean your arm up against the wall you're like why is it fucking sticky ah right um i do want to keep talking about this however jeff said that he's been waiting a month to tell you tell us how he faced himself so I need to oh right it's not like a huge thing or anything but the pandemic kind of fucked up how I consume entertainment right and so before the pandemic

I read incessantly I read I might like my my kind of running goal in life was to read a book a week every week for I did it for like a year and then I did it the next year and then I did it the next year. And then I just said, I'm just going to read a book a week for the rest of my life. And so I was on that path. And then the pandemic, I don't know what happened because suddenly we had all the time in the world and we were at home.

But I just stopped reading and I couldn't force myself to read. I just couldn't fucking do it. I also stopped watching movies, which is why I've been trying to get back into movies this year although i gotta be honest with you i have i watched like what five movies already this year and i am taking a break i'm on a movie hiatus it was too much too much movie i switched to music i even have a little bit prepared for that i doubt we'll get to it we can do it some other time but uh i'm on a movie hiatus because it was just oh god uh but anyway i was in the middle of reading a book that I was in love with, or I had just started a book that I was in love with by Franz Kafka called The Castle.

And so I liked the world and it's a real thinker. And so I liked sitting and reading five or six pages and then just kind of sitting with that for like a month or two. And I decided I'm just going to take as long as feels natural to read this book. And so it took me about three years. And it's not a long book. Sometimes I'd go like two months without reading it. And then I'd read a page. It's just like whatever felt right. And then early this year, like around January, I thought, this is taking too long. I got to finish this fucking book and move on with my life. I got to get past it. And so I sat down and I finished like the last third of the book

to discover, and I thought, it's no big deal because I'm just going to finish the book and I will have this, like it'll be a three year long story for me, but I really digested this story and thought about this character Kay and all the scenarios.

And it's a fascinating, fascinating, complicated book. And I finished this fucking book, and I didn't realize that Kafka died before he finished it. So the book ends mid-sentence. No! The last sentence in the book is literally, she held out her hand trembling,

she held out her trembling hand to K and had him sit down beside her she spoke with great difficulty sorry let me just take that again because I had she held out her trembling hand to K yeah I did I had to swallow she held out her trembling hand to K and had him sit down

beside her she spoke with great difficulty it is hard to understand her but what she said no and that's where it ended that's where he died no i spent three years taking my time to get the resolution of a story that i absolutely fucking loved only to find out that he never finished it because he fucking died. That is the biggest, most unsatisfying end to a thing I have ever experienced in my life. And it just happened to be the one book that you wanted to spend years reading? That's unbelievable.

I didn't even want to spend years reading. It just kind of worked out that way because the pandemic broke my ability to read or whatever. And I thought, fine, I'm enjoying this. Why force it? Why push it? Let me enjoy it at this new pace. Maybe this is just how I read now. And by the way, I've read like two books since then, since I finished this fucking Kafka book.

But God damn, dude, you know how fucking that's like jacking off for three straight years and then deciding not to jizz. It is such a waste. Oh, it's brutal. Do you think that's the bluest your balls have ever been? It is the hardest anybody has ever edged in their life. So wait, so is there like a disclaimer saying that he died there? Or is it just...

Oh, it's all over the internet if you read about it. Yeah. No, but within the book itself. I didn't do any research on the book. No, I don't think so. It just starts when you read it... Oh, it's all over the internet if you read about it. Yeah. No, but within the book itself... I didn't do any research on the book. No, I don't think so. It just starts when you read it. Oh, man. How do you not finish the sentence?

Oh. Did he die with the pen in his hand? I read about it afterward. And he was close to death when he was writing it. And he was in failing health. And the book was... The book was stressing him out. And he couldn't...

He quit. He decided and he couldn't he decided he quit he decided he just couldn't it was too much for him and then he died before he got healthy enough to finish it or figure out the problem

and so I just for the rest of my life I don't get to know if he ever got to the goddamn castle or not I'm guessing not but I would love to have known how

like within the the context of the story it's pretty far into the book like it's it's near the end like he got right to the end and one would, it's pretty far into the book. Like it's near the end. Like you got right to the end. And one would assume it's pretty, it's pretty near the end.

Yeah. Wow. I would say it's definitely, it's somewhere between 65 and 95% of the way through the story. Like you don't really know, but you get the impression. Yeah. Yeah.

Frankly, my dear dead. That's funny. Yeah. I wonder what the worst sentence would be to end halfway through oh my god i would be like and the paternity test reveals so anyway uh i fucked i fucked myself slowly over three years with that definitely that's definitely uh my current biggest most frustrating face what was the experience of in the moment when that happened like you it just stopped did you think there was an issue with disbelief like what was no i knew i knew instantly what happened utter disbelief and i just i just sat there i thought about it for a while i i was bummed dude i can just imagine you closing the last

page and like looking behind it and shutting the book and be like yeah surely got me and they stuck together i yeah i was at a coffee shop and i just like put the book down and i just fucking was bummed i just went to my phone and started reading about what the fuck was going on. Yeah. It'd be really, really slow and rare, but I would love to see a compilation of people finishing that book. Yeah. Like not knowing that that's what happened. Oh, that's so bad. It's a really good story, too, if you like slow, ponderous things.

But goddamn. Yeah, don't go into it looking for a resolution because you won't fucking get it although i don't i don't i don't think i think the point of the book is that there wouldn't have been a resolution to his problem anyway it's kind of the whole book is about like bureaucracy and red tape uh but i mean that's like it was just too it's just. Should we end our cookbook bit sentence? I got some other ideas for our cookbook. Okay. Oh, I want to play a game with you guys, actually,

but I haven't quite worked it out yet. But it's to create... I want to create... I want to create two things for the cookbook. I want to create a Mad Lib for the cookbook so that you can kind of create your own recipe. And then I want to bundle together a bunch of ingredients that I have you guys

get. Then it's like a word jumble. You try to make your own recipe from the ingredients that we give you. It's like, what can you make with these ingredients? I've started to segment it out, but I want to make sure I do it. I cover all the bases so that

you can build a complete meal out of it. Do we we have pictures we'll do that later uh not yet we will um yeah have you seen the book yet gav no uh i can send it to you it's uh there's some there's some art in it right now some drawings but uh there will be i'm gonna i'm personally gonna do the photography for it so oh wow that's so. Oh, wow. That's so great. I'm very excited. Are you going to do it like old Jeff or new Jeff? I've been buying backdrops off Amazon and stuff. I'm going to do it really well.

I have some very strong opinions on how I want to do the photography to look, so I've decided I'm just going to do it. I might incorporate Wes's help a little bit or somebody else, but yeah, I'm going to try to tackle it myself. Have you looked at any other non-chef cookbooks to see how we compete at all? Any worry of intimidation? No, I don't want to be influenced by other

people's bullshit. That's fair. I'm just, you know, we're in a tough market. We got to go up against the like Boston Rob cookbook. I'm trying to think of other people that aren't chefs. The Star Wars cookbook stuff like that. I have supreme confidence in what we're creating. If anything,

I'm a little too confident. I like it. Is there a scrumping section? Like if you have an excess of apples? No. No, but I'll say this. Feel free to write anything you want to add into the cookbook.

It's not too late. Like we got pages and pages we can fill. It's about 40 pages right now, but it could be whatever we want it to be. That's pretty good for a cookbook. Yeah, that's not bad. Or at least our cookbook. For us not being qualified at all to make a cookbook,

that's pretty good. Yeah, I agree. And it's all stuff from the show. The only thing that's not in the episodes is Nick Not Nick's recipe that you did nick not nick nick not that nick or whatever and then i i went ahead and i don't know do you want to explain that andrew sure i my my grandpa's name was nick and he had a family recipe that we used all the time called nick's chicken so i submitted his nick not that Nick's chicken. Okay.

I don't know what was going on. And then I went ahead and created a recipe for boiled peanuts just because I talk about it all the time. So I figured I'd throw that in as an extra. But everything else is something that has been on the show or we've made on the show so far. I'm excited. I like the idea of trying to put together something if you just give us a bunch of ingredients.

As somebody who, I'm a I like the idea of trying to put together something if you just give us a bunch of ingredients as somebody who I'm a big recipe guy mm-hmm I think whatever I made monstrosity to be completely honest whatever you threw together also reminds me of a kid show I which would have been

like I don't remember this may have been a Canadian thing if somebody remembers this I'd love to know what it was called there's a kid show where like I was on YTV and there'd

be all these like balls and nets and stuff and the kids had to grab as many items as they could and then create a game out of the stuff they grabbed and then they'd pick like what the best game was and i think the idea was like you at home would then grab those items and then recreate the game if you wanted to so i like a food version of this that's a really cool idea it's gonna be terrible whatever I make. Do you feel confident, Gavin, if you just got a bunch of ingredients that you could make something good? I mean, are they going to be

complementary ingredients? It's literally going to be like, the way I'm going to do it is I'm going to go, okay guys, let's build this out. Andrew, name a cooking method. Gavin, name a spice. Eric, name a sauce. So it's going to be a shit show. Nick, name a starch. Oh, it's going to be so bad. Yeah, and then we'll

just throw it all together. I like activities. I feel like books should have activities. It could be rice, could be potatoes, could be new potatoes, could be sweet potatoes. There's a lot of options. That sounds great. No, I don't have confidence that I could make anything good. I feel like us doing the condiments just has made my confidence

even less. That was an attempt of thinking. I thought I knew how to do something. It was terrible. It's going to be a disaster. Nick's was great there. It was look for this disaster. And I believe the holidays is when we're trying to get this cookbook out by.

I think anyone has accidentally killed somebody and they don't know it. Oh, definitely. Like in their sleep, like definitely like in their sleep like did something in their sleep oh in the sleep like sleepwalking like like a sleepwalking yeah i don't know like let's say i was thinking about like if somebody's walking around today that killed someone but they have no concept that they did it like accidentally like like uh mixed up ingredients and something and then left and then the person drank it and then they died and nobody figured out how they died or why.

Yeah, but I guess also like then not having an awareness of I was thinking like in a tower, like let's say there's a tower guard, right? And he's sleeping and then he knocked over like a baseball or something and it fell and it hit a bird and then that bird hit a car and then that car hit somebody you never trace that to you just the premise of if there's somebody the idea of that you could somehow kill somebody and have no concept of it it's very it's like the like a murderous butterfly effect

sort of yeah like you bump into somebody and then they drop their stuff and but you're in a hurry so you keep running and then while they're picking up all their stuff somebody comes by and then they drop their stuff but you're in a hurry so you keep running and then while they're picking up all their stuff somebody comes by because they're doesn't see him and like runs over their head or something that has to have happened like that happens

every day you think every day you think it's that common it's crazy people are fragile it's really easy to die I was thinking about it with Sherlock Holmes I think of like trying to solve a case of the idea of capturing or arresting someone that had no idea that they did what they did.

It just is such a strange, or just being told, that's such a consequential thing. Anyway. I remember coming down a steep hill. It was like a rocky, almost like a cliff thing, and it was a bunch of loose slate, and i just started a huge rock slide by accident and i was like slipping down and i had to like dive to the side and a bunch of slate went over the edge and i was like shit someone's

walking below that they would definitely die oh my god but uh yeah it was just there was nothing below all right how about this in a percentage of zero to a hundred what is the percentage chance andrew that you have already killed somebody and you just don't know it do you think just go through your life very low i'd say i'd say uh well we've got the skills the stolen skills the skittles what was it was it skills some stolen candy i stole a can yeah i think it was like an arrow bar no you had you had candy on your on your uh that somebody oh yeah from the front i thought you meant when i i ran out of the store with the thing i talked about that recently not the skittles oh um i don't i shot there was a thing where we had you know like those potato cannon things yeah

we had one of those and I used to live in a place that had like a hill and you couldn't see over the hill it went to like the forest type thing and we're shooting it and I shot it and it hit it sounded like it hit it like a deer so it was like and then we stopped we stopped doing it but I think that was an animal and i don't think that animal died but i think i hit a an animal with a potato once that's probably the closest imagine finding a deer with like a supersonic potato lodged in its i think so it was like you'd shoot hairspray into this pipe and then it would launch somehow i was very little when this happened i don't really remember the specifics.

Man, you just reminded me of a fucking aisle. Oh, boy. You just reminded me of a story from high school I haven't thought about since for a very long time. Oh, yes. What did you do? There was this kid on my street who got a.22 for Christmas.

I grew up in Alabama a lot. Well, most of Louisiana, Alabama, Florida, so deep South. People always talk about.22 for Christmas. You know, I grew up in Alabama a lot. Well, Louisiana, Alabama, Florida, so deep south. People always talk about.22 like it's like a BB gun or something. It's a full-blown gun. Yeah. Yeah, I wasn't referring to it as a BB gun at all. No, I just feel like whenever I hear it, it's like,

people are like, oh, when I was a kid, I had a little.22. It's like, that's a firearm. Dude, fucking kids in Alabama get guns at like four. It's a kid i had a little 22 it's like that's a firearm the fucking kids in alabama get guns at like four it's it's a part of your childhood dude uh so anyway one of the kids uh on my street when i was like maybe ninth grade got a 22 for christmas and we he he invited me and two other kids over to shoot it with him and he just put up a bunch of like uh coke cans or beer cans or something on the fence in his backyard and he lived like his backyard backed up into the woods and we used to play in these woods we used to run around we used to build forts in these woods like they're deep deep woods but i didn't know this i I know this now. Um, a 22 round travels pretty fucking far.

Uh, and so we were just shooting cans and then I went home and I think he and the other kids kept shooting cans. Uh, and, uh, the next or later that night, actually a fucking cop knocked on my front door and I answered the door and I

was like, my mom and I answered the door and i was like my mom and i answered the door and i was like yes sir and he goes were you uh at so-and-so's house uh earlier today and i was like yes and he goes were you shooting a 22 and i was like uh yeah i'm sorry is that a problem we were just shooting cans in the backyard and he's like uh don't do that again and i was like okay well i was like it's not my gun gun. I was like, I barely shot it. I only shot it like three times. I'm not a big gun guy.

They were way more into it. Why? And he goes, there's an apartment complex on the other side of those woods, you idiot. And you guys shot up an apartment complex. Oh my God. How did it take us 154 episodes to get to I shot up an apartment complex?

Oh my God. I don't know apartment complex? Oh, my God. I don't know. I guess it never came up. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Nobody was injured, and I did not get in trouble. The cop just said, be safer next time. And that was all I ever wanted again.

Good Lord. And that kid who got the 22 for Christmas, like he didn't have a dad or anything, so he didn't get in trouble either. Like his mom didn't care. She just told him not to do it again. And so like he started what he did was he started he started putting the cans on the ground.

So he started shooting down. But yeah, uh, holy fuck. Any one of us could have very clearly ended somebody else's and our lives. And that's why one of the main reasons I don't fucking like guns. Because even if you're a dumb kid, but you think you're being safe, shooting into deep woods that you know very well, because you spent your entire childhood traipsing back there,

and you know nobody else on Earth is back in those woods, and they go forever, you'd be surprised. I think that's what's scary about it to me is that the uh what you had happen which is a cop knocks on your door and then you continue living your life yeah and spending uh 25 years in prison feel like the exact same thing when you're doing it like the the what you experienced would have been the same in both results yeah whether you killed someone or the fact that you didn't it's just so scary to think about also can you imagine in 2023 a couple of teenage kids doing that and not getting in trouble no yeah i'd love to know the extent of the damage. Like, where did the bullets go? Like, would somebody in their living room and then bullets just are whizzing?

Like what? I don't think it was. I think it may be like one or two bullets like hit the outside of an apartment complex or something. OK. Nobody was injured. The cop. Like I said, the guy, the guy didn't even yell at me, really. He was just like, be more careful, you know.

And my mom was like, holy shit. You stay away from guns. And I was like, yeah, of course. And then I had the incident where the shotgun went off on my hands in my living room or in my bedroom. I think I've told you guys that story before. And I fucking hate guns. And then I joined the army and hated guns in the army. That's crazy.

That's insane. That's such an American upbringing. Like you said, what episode is this 154 5 154 where are we 154 154 the fact it took us 154 episodes to get to that do you think if somebody who lived in that apartment building had a podcast it would take them 154 episodes to get the reverse side of that story no that'd be episode one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My apartment shop, I walked outside, my apartment complex

was just getting shot up out of nowhere. It's like, age and perspective are fucking terrible. Because if I would have told that story 10 years ago, I would have felt differently about it. If I told it 20 years ago, I would have felt very differently about it. Now, I want to throw up telling the story.'s so upsetting yeah you know like i just feel like you

just you can like at 47 i can draw out the line and see the real consequences and think about how differently my life could have gone how differently some poor innocent person's life could have gone you know yeah and uh it just makes it like, it makes me not want to look back anymore. Because like, you often like land on something and you're like, oh, fuck. I feel very differently

about that memory now. That must happen more and more to people who live really long lives. Like you must, like people who are like 95 must be like, wow, I really magooed

my way through this somehow. I don't know. How did nothing happen? So I'd say the chance that i killed somebody unintentionally in the past is like 50 50 wow just because i grew up doing dumb shit in the south where where it was expected and encouraged you know that's fair what an episode love it profound cars our sunset seasons we're about to take a huge break we are two weeks right uh yeah we're taking two weeks off so wow i'll miss you guys terribly there's gonna be a lot of morning thoughts when you come back yeah i'm gonna have my back measured

oh you still didn't measure your back i still did we went right into the second i was gonna do it between episodes we went right into it do it now i can't do i don't trust it now what do you mean it can't be more wrong than eric no i'm right i got the longest back thank you guys so much for listening to episode 154 of the face podcast um i have the longest back and that's very important you can see my long long back at back at RTX July 7th through 9th. RTXAustin.com to get your tickets. You can see my long, long back and other oddities at the Face Museum. Buy a Falcon sign.

Yeah. That's probably out, right? Yeah, probably. That Slack channel gives me a fucking headache i don't want to yeah i can't spend too much time in the face merch slack channel it makes me sick why is that because it's just numbers and images it feels like a fever dream it's just faces stretched and sprawled with dates that feel never ending it is i can't i can't do it it is it's like a it's like a collection of dangling bits yes like yeah it's speaking of we got a pretty pretty fucking cool shirt tony just designed oh yeah yeah we got some good stuff

coming can we start a calendar that's our release schedule and we can see make it easy to see which weeks have gaps that we can throw out a condo man or a draft or some shit because i feel like we yep we just sit on stuff and then we have empty weeks yep i bet that schedule exists and we just don't look at it oh it absolutely doesn't oh okay it's just it's just me and nick going okay what thing is done where can this go so it's not stepping on other stuff and then we work with brendan uh someone was saying that all of done all of the youtube content like helped one of the episodes or some shit what do you see that jeff like hannah was talking about it it was posted in the ah channel are we still is this still the episode when was that no wait Nah. Wait, did we wrap?

When did we wrap? Yeah, didn't we? Oh, okay. Hey, thanks for listening. We'll see you guys next week. That was it? Be sure to watch the videos on YouTube. It helps the podcast, apparently.

Yeah, let Hannah know that you're watching these videos on YouTube. It helps. They really are good. We'd really appreciate it. Thanks. Okay, bye. I was so confused. Was that recorded? That was the episode?

Yes. Of course. Did you fucking hit stop? In my brain, I did. Okay, so the answer's no? Oh, yeah, no. Okay. All right, in.

Cut. Hey, guys. Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. The backlinks are back. It's animated Andrew. Gavin enters the simulation. The boys are moving to the Conk Republic. Corridor beat us to the punch.

Who won the draft? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** This.