F**kface - Zimmer's Titanium Forehead // Is Humpty Dumpty an Easter Thing? [60]

Episode Date: July 21, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Geoff's new shitty lease on life, the smell of the F**kface air freshener, horses putting eggs or cannons back together, Shatner's webstore, and state songs. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by Raycon (http://buyraycon.com/face), Ship Station (http://shipstation.com click on the microphone at the top of the page + code FACE), and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face14 and use code face14). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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HelloFresh.com slash FACE14. Yum! This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face podcast. I believe it is the 60th iteration of this show. With me, as always, Andrew and Gavin. And I think Nick is the 60th iteration of this show. With me, as always, Andrew and Gavin, and I think Nick is out this episode, but Eric is hiding somewhere in the background. Been about four minutes since we last spoke.

How's everybody doing? How have you been? I missed you guys. Missed you too. I went to talk to you, Jeff. I didn't know you left about the Celtics coach. There's nothing. Heard nothing. I like the guy. I'm in. I was unsure at first. Yeah, I'm a big fan.

Andrew, do you struggle when people are talking to you, but you're doing something else? Do you just block out the rest of the world? Because I feel like he was very loudly like, I'm going to go pee. I heard you only. And then I thought it was just you. Yeah, I don't know.

I guess so. Maybe. If I did what I know, I don't think I would know. I think someone would know i think someone would else have to for me listen i'll be honest i'm well aware of who i am and how i come across i'm pretty easy to ignore i've had 46 years of it i get it i'm used to it it's kind of like and by the way let me just say i i mentioned to you guys like two or three episodes ago now that i came to peace with my space my station in the universe,

which is like, I am of the level of dog shit. And as long as I don't try to go above that, then things are fine. And I just want you guys to know, uh, it's been going great. Like once I still,

uh, universe and I, we're, we're still seeing eye to eye, no major tragedies. The house hasn't fallen apart. You know, we did a little bit of rain cause Gavin and I hung out,

but, but I've been, uh, I've been reminding myself when I see shit i'm no better than shit and then i pick it up immediately and i deal with the shit and uh and it's it's been great it's been fine that's uh really learned to settle with where i am and not not try to be oh you know better should we have a i'm no better than shit t-shirt i'm no better than shit what would be the design on it well design i assume would just be text you don'm no better than shit. What would be the design on it?

The design, I assume, would just be text. You don't think, hmm, I feel like there has to be a design. Wait, what's Eric saying? He said the same before everything fell apart last time. I feel like this is the stuff I said after everything fell apart and I had the realization. No, no. This was one thing happened with your car, and then everything happened after that.

Because the car happened, and then you went, you know what? I'm just going to take it as it comes. And then the next month of episodes. And then it came. Yeah, it all came. So something to consider. I don't know, man.

I've got a new shitty lease on life. So when Eric said, this is the same stuff he said before everything fell apart last time, I thought he meant Vin Diesel. Yeah, I thought the same thing. I was like, is like is the episode going downhill yeah so i thought it was a vin diesel reference and then that made me think holy shit gavin's right i don't remember any of this conversation said last episode i guess i wasn't listening i was pretty sure this is all

new but you meant the car jeff's life fell apart not Not the episode. Less important. Understood. You know who else? I didn't know this. So I made the Zimmer, the dinner Zimmer salad last episode. Not to be confused with the regulation Zimmer salad or the regulation salad. Yeah. No. Yeah. So I was doing a lot of research about Don Zimmer and I didn't know.

I didn't. Did you know that he almost died when he was like in his 20s from a baseball? I had no idea. Yeah, like cracked his skull, right? He was in a coma for two weeks. Whoa. Yeah. No.

Yeah. He was he was unconscious for 13 days and his weight plummeted from 170 to 124. And they told him he'd never play again when he was 22. Oh, my God. He took like a fastball to the face. They had to drill holes into his skull to relieve the pressure so that he could survive he had fluid yeah i guess he had fluid this then created there was a rumor for a while that he had a titanium plate put into his head and i feel like those rumors were fully

from when he had his fight because he went head first i feel like the logic was that he was trying to use his titanium yeah that like he was trying to utilize the weapon that he was given using the titanium forehead uh it was not he does not have a titanium forehead they did put like some screws or like buttons or something in there i bet he believed he had a titanium head although immediately disarmed when your head just gets pushed into the ground my favorite part of when i was doing research, the thing I was reading, they wrote out like he was hit and he's fully unconscious for 13 days. Like he nearly died.

And then they followed up with, he was beamed again in 1956. Only getting hit in the head with a baseball beamed is hilarious to me. I love beanings. It's a great word. It must be such a jarring feeling though to be playing baseball,

get hit in the head, and then it's two weeks later. What must that feel like? Oh, my God. I don't. He wouldn't have felt the ball, I don't imagine. It's immediately out. Is that a strikeout? How does that count?

Or does he go to base? Yeah, that's a base on ball, right? Yeah. They'll probably have to put in a pinch runner for you while they carry off in a stretcher. It's an HPP. It's hit by pitch. Okay. We should run an experiment.

We'll hit Gavin in the head with a fastball, and then two weeks later, we'll ask him what he remembers. Don't they wear helmets, though, playing baseball? They do. Or was that so far in the past that helmets hadn't been invented? Well, I'm sure helmets were invented by that point.

I don't know if they used them. That's another question entirely, but helmets certainly existed. I't believe like when you look back on the way stuff evolved technology wise i can't believe seat belts weren't a thing for so long i think fuck dude like surely the first car crash killed the driver surely i remember when gus and i were into we had we both had old cars for a while this is early rt and before r driver surely i remember when gus and i were into we had we both had old cars for a while this is early rt and before rt and i remember like one of gus's trucks i think didn't have seat belts and it wasn't required to because like they didn't have to he wasn't legally required to have them because they weren't required at the time that the truck was built or something and so

they just didn't exist and so it was okay but it was like a i think i'm getting that right but it was like a 63 or a 64 truck so it wasn't that old oh i'm sure at the time maybe the way the cars were built in general maybe seat belts would have been a death sentence when they're attached to the way that they used to be built like they would have just ripped you in half well also shit like car seats like my mom i don't think i had a car seat when i was a kid because i was born in the 70s right and my mom was like the car seat was the fucking floorboard they just throw you on the floorboard with a pillow and some blankets like and you just don't hit shit you know you know when there's like something on the floor of a car and you break hard and then like

a bottle might roll out so you just see your baby's head poke it out covered in old skittles and shit oh jeffrey what are you doing under here get back there i was wildly wrong i did not think you're gonna to go with seatbelts. I thought you're going to stay within the realm of sports with like hockey, how goalies didn't wear masks for a long time. Like I was all prepared for that. It was a much more impactful choice. Oh,

no, I was just thinking like safety in general was just like so secondary. Now stuff's built around safety. Speaking of not wearing helmets and masks, I'll tell you who should is fucking Devin Booker. I have watched, yeah, this is, he's tell you who should is fucking Devin Booker. I have watched, he's a basketball player, it's the playoffs right now.

He got hit in the first game of the series, or maybe second game, and he had his nose broken in three places. So then he started wearing a face shield, but it's hard to shoot with it on or whatever, it's uncomfortable, so he keeps taking it off. And I swear to God,

every time he takes that shield off and walks on the court, somebody punches him as hard as they can straighten his fucking nose happened last night again he was on the ground covered he covered his face with his shirt to cry he was in so much pain and it's like dude put the fucking mask back on yeah i mean that's something that i guess when your nose is broken in three places even with the mask it's gonna hurt i can't imagine without it i didn't even realize the nose is a nose bone is big enough to break in three places can't break mine i have an unbreakable nose we've covered this that's true i don't need the mask i'll never need it i think if i was a bad shooter though i'd wear a mask season like every every

season i just come up with like i broke i guess i'd have to come up with a different excuse. How many times have you been hit in the nose? Punched? Like, punched? Or like, what do you mean? Well, just taken a blow to the nose. Oh, well, I don't... It just bounces right off, so I couldn't tell you the number. It doesn't really matter. I've never, like, sustained a bad injury. What do you mean? I'm saying, like, anything that impacts

the nose, it does no damage. It just keeps on moving. Anything that impacts the nose does no damage it just keeps on moving anything that impacts the nose anything yeah i how are you serious dude i hit my fucking nose so hard an hour and a half ago i almost blacked out i i don't know what i have like the anderson silva of noses like it just bobs and like you can't like when it hits it's not like direct but you're not providing any information about your impacts to those you're just it's like saying oh this this uh pint glass unstoppable i'm saying that like when things when things hit the nose it like somehow deflects it and it does minimal

damage like i don't there's nothing i couldn't tell you a time i know i've been hitting the nose by things it just means you haven't been hit very hard in the nose. No, I definitely have. I'm telling my nose when we... Like the pint glass in my cupboard has never broken. Does not mean if I throw it at the wall, it's going to stay in one piece. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, dude, I can come to Austin. I got a watering can here.

Hit yourself in the nose with that. And I guarantee you, you'll feel it. You'll feel your nose go back into your brain. Did you fall into your war again? Dude, earlier I was... Is that why you were late? Arrow, well, it's not, but Arrow was out in the backyard, and she peed on the patio, on the concrete,

and not in the grass, and so I spray it off. Otherwise, the sun bakes it into hot, dry piss smell, which is fucking unbearable. So anytime she does it, I go grab the hose, and I spray it off, you know? And so I went to the hose, I grabbed the hose,

and I bit down to turn it on, and I guess right next to it was a little bench, and it had a watering can on it, and I fucking didn't see it, and I hit that watering can, like the spout at the bottom of my nose, as hard as I could bend down and then to add insult to injury.

So like it shoves my nose up into my brain a little bit. So I can, I don't remember some things. Uh, I'm pretty sure, but, uh, I definitely lost some knowledge in that,

but then to add insult to injury because it's a watering can and I hit the spout, uh, the force pushed it down so that the handle of the watering can, the watering can tipped, and then the top of the watering can hit me in the back of the head at the same time.

So I like double whapped myself. How's the nose doing? It hurt, but it's fine now. I might be fine the entire time. No worries. I would love to see. I would love to see you do that. Next time I'm in person,

you can feel my nose. You're going to feel the dexterity of it, the movement. It would love to see. I would love to see you do that. Next time I'm in person, you can feel my nose. You're going to feel the dexterity of it, the movement. It's very bendable. I've got a great damage resistant nose. You know what? You guys keep talking. I'm going to do something. I'll be right back.

You guys continue without me. Okay. What do you think Jeff's going to go do, Gavin? Maybe he's going to get the water in can? Maybe he's going to get a soda and actually do it for the first time. Finally, actually chug a soda i just feel like there's a lot of bones that you haven't broken but for some reason you dwell on the nose as being the one that's indestructible well because like you haven't felt my nose if you feel my nose you'd be like this is i haven't felt anyone's nose

well i'm telling you mine is mine is very flexible what am i gonna get out of like shoving my thumb against your nose though? It's just gonna feel like a no. What do you mean? No the flexibility of it the lack of damage I feel like it's kind of shelled in a way that would make it very difficult to break in any angle It's a very durable nose. I everything else would fall apart around it I'm not saying I'm invulnerable as I said before if I got hit by a missile it would hold but everything else would fall apart around it. I'm not saying I'm invulnerable. As I said before, if I got hit by a missile, it would hold, but everything else would go away. Do I think... Eric just asked, do we think Jeff's coming back?

I do think Jeff's coming back. Yeah, yeah, he's coming back. I don't know what he's doing, though. Is he getting in the watering can? Do you think he's going to hit himself? There's no way he's going to hit himself with the watering can. I think I'm really going to have to talk him into doing this bike stunt. The way he was talking about it, I kind of got

the impression he was saying it wasn't going to be worth it, it wasn't going to be worth the effort, it's not going to be very good. And in my head, that's what makes it better. Like, if we go to all that effort, and then he gets like two inches of air. Yeah. The least impressive it is, the funnier it is. That's what I was saying,

yeah. Yeah, you want it to be bottom of the barrel, like barely, like he gets a little bit of air in a phantom camera in the slow-mo The fact that you were getting so excited as well just by thinking that we might be doing it I've really been pushing to get it done. It just feels like something two seven-year-olds would do you haven't been pushing that hard dude I've been tech because you were trying to talk you were trying to talk us out of it I was like look it's gonna be good either way what did you go do Jeff welcome back I I felt like I didn't do a good job of illustrating what was going on with the watering can so I took a picture to show you how I how I hit myself twice oh it's like really narrow in the end that looks like it

could have cut you really badly it hurt so that's what I did And so when I hit it, my nose hit the spout. It knocked the other part up into my brain. It's like an extreme netty part. Yeah. But see, if you look at Jeff's nose, that's a very breakable looking nose to me. Yours as well, Gavin. There's like a large area

for where it could break. What are you trying to say? It's extended. I'm saying it's not like I have a flatter, smaller nose. There's just not a lot of room for it to move did the top of the watery can also hit you in the forehead from the angle or is it just uh yeah no that's what i was trying to illustrate to you guys is that when

i hit it with my nose it kicked the rest of it in and then it hit me in the forehead in the top of the head so technically i guess i get hit in three spots by one watering can. I just don't know how you don't see that. Yeah. Well, like you said, Gavin. You bend down with your eyes closed. The watering can, the spout is thin and long and black, and I was bending down into grass. It just didn't stick out to me.

You've got to put up security camera or something so we can watch. I didn't even fucking realize this was going to be content but yeah I didn't even think to mention it until Andrew started talking about his unbreakable nose. You got assaulted by your watering can. How is that not content? It's amazing.

It didn't rise to it didn't stand out to me until you mentioned your unbreakable nose. Why do you even have a watering can like that if you have a hose? To water potted plants and stuff. Yeah, but why can't the hose do that? Inside. Oh.

I mean, that's an outdoor can, though. An indoor watering can is much smaller and less muddy than that. Yeah, but the hose doesn't travel across the entire yard. So if I want to water the rose bushes over on Millie's side of the house, I use a watering can. yard so like if i want to water the rose bushes over on millie's side of the house i use a watering can or sometimes i'll fill up the watering can outside with the hose because it's way faster than using the kitchen sink and then i can go around and water the plants inside the house with it all right yeah fair enough but you don't want to have a giant ass black watering can hanging out in your living room so you put it outside i still i'm trying to wrap my head around the fact

that a watering can threw a combo at je Jeff and he didn't feel it was content. It just didn't. Maybe it knocked that part of my brain away. I don't know. Here's the deal, Andrew. And I think Gavin can corroborate this. That kind of shit happens so often throughout the course of every day of my life that it just, it's just, it's second nature to me. I don't think about it unless I have a Gavin behind me laughing at me and pointing out

how ridiculous the situation is. Because that's like, that's like every 18 minutes of my life. It's true. It's like there's a non-magnetic magnet in your head that just pulls stuff towards it. Like you whack your head on stuff like no one else. And not on metal things all the time.

It's just something about your skull that the universe likes. What was your last injury, Andrew? Have you bashed your head on anything recently? No. Have I bashed? No, not a lot of head bashings. I broke my toe a while ago. Like a year ago, I guess.

That was probably the last one. Broke one of my toes. Just opened the door into it, bent back. How's that toe doing? It's fine. Yeah. 100% back to. Yeah, I'd say 100%.

Yeah, I'd say it's a standard toe. Ankles are good. Ankles are questionable at times. I did. Oh, should I talk about this? Should I? We don't know until you talk about it. Gavin knows what it is.

Should I talk about this, Gavin? I texted Gavin about this gavin i texted gavin about this before i did a thing i one of the grossest things of my life happened to me i don't remember what we're talking about it involved uh i hurt my achilles i guess i'm just gonna tell the story this is the grossest thing that has ever happened to me it is disgusting it's unfortunate i hurt my achilles and the And the day I hurt it was like bad. But then it like kept getting worse. But the day I hurt it, I had to go do something.

So I brushed my teeth at my desk. I got my bathroom next to me. And then I went about my day. And then I hurt my Achilles was really bad. I had to lay down. So I was just kind of in bed for most of the time. For like the next three days. So it happened on like a Tuesday. Finally kind of feeling like i'm mobile on friday things are good

uh this was during while i was building my sauce empire which is an important detail of the story so i get more sauce they get my meal get the nuggets get my drink i take a big sip of my drink and i drank my toothpaste from tuesday on friday oh yeah i spit because i was at my desk when i brushed my teeth so i just spit it into a mcdonald's cup i had on my desk and then i spent the next three days i spent the next three days immobilized so i didn't clean my desk at all and it was in the same cup as is the same looking cup as the new one I got with the nuggets. And I mistook them. And I just was like, oh, there's a little bit left. Final sip.

And it was the spit that was the it was it was bad. It was it was disgusting. Where was the toothbrush during all this? I guess the toothbrush would have been on my desk. Where was the toothbrush during all this? I guess the toothbrush would have been on my desk. So you're the kind of person that when you stop doing something, you just put it down right there and that's where it lives until forever?

You didn't take the toothbrush back to the bathroom? No, I was in, it's tough to walk. So I sat down, put it on my desk. Typically, I don't brush my teeth at my desk general Typically we do that in the bathroom in front of the sink. I feel like brushing teeth without running water though That's like what was supposed to state of your mouth after you gozzed it into a cup surely You've still got like you need to rinse. No no that was not a good one. I always rinse that was a no rinse I'm saying it was a bad moment. I'm not proud of this. This is an unfortunate moment What did it taste like because surely it just tasted like mint and you well so there was a

little bit of root beer still in that cup so imagine like oh it gets grosser it there was like a little bit of root beer when i spit into it so it tasted like old root beer and then immediately that mintiness of toothpaste and it but I took like a hard sip because it was just a little bit less I was like I need to just you know like really suck on this one and then I swallowed it by the before I even taste anything then I had the case I swallowed it it was disgusting it's the most why didn't taste anything must have been all wrong it was instant Gavin like it was a huge it was just like there was no I didn't taste anything. The consistency must have been all wrong. It was instant, Gavin.

It was a huge... It was just like... There was no... It didn't... It spent no time in my mouth. It was like looping a track. Threw it down your gullet. Yeah, it just...

It was because it was the same exact fucking cup, and I just put them in the wrong places. It was tragic. It was disgusting. I was imagining you at a wine tasting. You're like, oh, how does the mouth feel? And you're like, the what? I think the grossest thing that's ever happened to me.

I felt sick. I felt like I had contracted a virus as soon as it happened. I didn't know what to do. It was like, that just, I can't reverse that. I think I would have thrown up. Did you, did you have any little, any pushback from the, uh... I think my soul left my body. Like I was no longer a person after it

happened and i processed what i had just been through you had an outer body experience like floated out you look back down at yourself and just thought i'm disgusting it was just yeah it was like it was an unintentional gross it was just unfortunate it's an unfortunate accident if it helps buddy i've been there it's disgusting and terrible uh and it'll haunt you for years but you will get oh i'm never getting over this it's i haven't had root beer since i will never have root beer that it could kill a root beer for you i i i it killed i did something similar it killed pepsi for me for a long long time where uh when i was in kuwait one of the times uh in the army uh my boss used to dip all the time and everybody's got a story about how they

accidentally drank dip, but I, I fucking did as well. Uh, and he used to spit it into this Pepsi can and I picked up a Pepsi can that was three quarters full because my Pepsi can is three quarters full and it was in the desert in Kuwait. So I didn't expect it to be cold because there wasn't a lot of air

conditioning. So it wasn't cold. So it didn't strike me as odd. And then I chugged the entire three-quarter bottle. And then everything went wrong all at once. And I had like a moment of levity where I took the Pepsi can down and I looked at it. And I thought, my brain figured out what it was. And I just kind of looked at it for a second.

And then full realization came. And I just turned to the right and I projectile vomited across the office. People just stop drinking the dregs of stuff yeah and what's with all the spit like i i won't spit anywhere unless it's gonna slip down the pipe with water like what gauzing into a candle and into cups that disgusts me alone it's those tobacco chewers man that's what they do the candle was an exception i needed there was nothing else i didn't opt for the candle that wasn't my place of choice of a bottle though yeah but the bottle still had liquid in it i didn't spit in that that's where the liquid came

from why the candle you didn't i've been over this before gavin i'm a fucking violent vomiter it is aggressive there's no way i'm getting that all in the bottle it's shooting everywhere i just needed something i can put my mouth over you can't you can't like spit through pursed lips there's no no i was everything was coming up at that time i couldn't i had to go into the candle there's nothing else i had in my desk i'd go into my hand before i went into a candle a candle's way better than a. Is it the same candle that you burn the waffle air freshener in? No. It's a different candle

than the waffle. Does the candle still function? Oh, no. That candle is the waffle one or the spit one? The spit one I'm sure is fine. I haven't used it, but I'm sure it's fine. But the waffle one is... Why do you have so many candles in your bedroom? I'm a candle guy. I like to keep the fire going. He did say that. He's a candle guy. I like to keep the fire going. He did say that.

He's a candle guy. I like to keep the fire going. I just feel like it's bad for a bedroom. Unless you're trying to do like a romantic gesture. Oh, it smells nice. I'm not allowed to have a nice smell in space. It smells nice, but maybe he's romancing the Casio. A bedroom is just way

more flammable, I feel like, than a normal room. I got a fire extinguisher. Not worried about it. He's got a trash bag full of extinguished fire extinguishers. I like the idea of keeping his fire suppressants in a black bin bag. Just sprinkle some of the bag on.

Just opens the bag and kicks it all over the room. I don't have a fire extinguisher, but I have the ingredients of a fire extinguisher. That would be interesting to see if just the powder in a bag would actually do the job. Could we put out a fire with it?

What a weird... What a weird... Yeah. Something's on fire, shoot it on a bag, and then pad out the fire with the bag. It's an unnecessary step. Hey, by the way, what was it like

to burn that waffle air freshener? So that's the thing. So as talked about before, I have a smoke alarm right above my desk, which went off when I tried to cook desk dogs, so I was very worried about the logistics of the thing. That's why I left, because I lit it, and it just

went up in smoke immediately. I then sprinted because i lit it and it just went up and smoked immediately i then sprinted to the patio and it went out briefly because it fell into the wax and i had to relight it there's a whole process it smelled terrible it was not good it wasn't as bad as the freshener itself maybe the worst smell i've ever encountered but it was it's a bad smell we had a funny moment uh where i at this point it was like six months ago we did that second break show. I don't even know where we are in the timeline right now. But in it, we had some fun fucking around with the air freshener and sticking it under

each other's chairs and stuff, because it is intense. And then I thought, this is kind of a funny way to promote this thing. And maybe people buy it, and it's silly and dumb. And maybe they can grumpy old minute to their friends, to, to promote this thing. And, you know, maybe people buy it and it's, you know, it's silly and dumb and maybe they can, you know, like grumpy old minute to their friends. Like I, I suggested or whatever.

And then after it was over, Eric came to me and he goes, uh, yeah, Tony, uh, Tony just texted me and was like, Hey man,

really appreciate all the, all the promotion on the, on the waffle freshener. But it's, it's been out of stock for a while. Should we reorder it? Or are you? Yes,

please. I didn't realize. That's the most f*** face thing I can think of doing, is spending extra time promoting a product that's unviable. Then everyone hates anyway. Yeah, then everybody hates. I enjoyed f*** face break shit part two. I liked it, yeah.

It's a lot better than the first one. It was the most nervous I've been to do anything related to this show i would say by far for the second one for the second one yeah why is that because i i the first one i just i didn't i don't know i i hmm i mean you're an immediate disadvantage by not being there because yeah so like so much like 90 of that is just shit happening on the table yeah you're limited in what you can contribute i understand so it's it's yeah so it's like a layer of just not liking my performance of it and then i like had a massive anxiety attack during the first one and uh it was just so it was stressful doing the second one but it was a lot of fun maybe we shouldn't do it no i love no i love the second the first one, but it was a lot of fun. Maybe we shouldn't do it. No, I love, no, I love the second one.

The first one was like the most draining thing. I just hated my performance and you guys were great in it, but I don't know. It's just, it was a weird thing. Well, well,

I understand. I understand that spiral of self-hate and doubt. I feel it. That's why I stopped listening to the podcast again after I started listening to it because I can't fucking stand me.

Yeah. And every episode that I would listen to where I would talk I would say well that's the worst episode we've ever done but I'll say from my end Andrew both episodes I thought you were great didn't didn't show at all had no idea you were going through some shit and it didn't didn't wasn't reflected in your performance I agree I'm thinking maybe we should wear headphones then so we can hear Andrew in our ears instead of on a little telly behind Eric's head. Yeah, it's like the timing of it is a little different than doing a thing. I don't know, it was just, it was stressful.

I felt like I let you down, and I didn't want to do, like it wasn't, you guys were great. I didn't think the stream was bad. It was more of a place of like, oh, I don't want to let you guys down in some way. Especially something that you're so passionate about, Jeff. So I was scared going into the second one. Oh, you didn't let us down at all. No, no, no. I feel like it's hard for you in that situation because you're not in the room, but also because

if time goes by where you haven't said anything for a while because we focus on the table or the cards and stuff, it puts pressure on whenever you chime in again for it to be something bigger than it is, if you know what I mean. Yeah, it's a weird timing thing where sometimes the room flow is so good, I don't want to be like, you guys are doing, you're riffing,

and I come in with a fucking cowbell. And it just goes completely out of, that's sort of my, you guys were great, so it was stressful, but I had a lot of fun. I wanted to also just credit somebody in the community, Julie Aria made my Eric Bedour thing I meant to talk about that but I just I collapsed

after we did the first break shit like it was I was drained I felt terrible yeah that makes two of us anxiety filled they're on YouTube if you've not seen them yeah but either on the Achievement Hunter YouTube channel although it may be on the f*** face YouTube

channel at this point if that's a thing Eric please wait yeah Eric says they're both on the f*** Hunter YouTube channel, although it may be on the face YouTube channel at this point. If that's a thing, Eric, please. Well, yeah, Eric says they're both on the face YouTube channel. So there you go. OK, well, that's good to know that we've never talked about, but I think exists. Yes, it does. It came out, I think, today, yesterday. We have a YouTube channel, but it's just the episodes, right? And then the break shows.

And we've got some ideas for things here and there as well okay i'm trying to go into my images so i lit the candle on fire you guys ended the second break shit stream and i came back to a terrifying image it was a close-up shot of the zimmer bear just on its side like i had no context now we got there i didn't know what i was looking at but it was just my full screen was just zimmer sideways, which is a terrifying image. I watched for like 30 seconds. I think you were just boxing shit, uh, Jeff at the end of the show.

I, oh yeah, but it was just like the most disturbing thing to come back to. I burnt this. It was like I, Don Zimmer was mad at me for like lighting the waffle thing on fire. Dude, you,

uh, you sent me a, an article. I think, I don't know if it was this episode or last episode we were talking about zimmer and you were talking about learning about his life and some of the you know about him being in the coma and stuff and i think you got a lot of that from that article about his wife and how she scrapbooked his entire career and she seems like a phenomenally funny and

interesting charismatic lady but the craziest thing about that was was you sent me the article and it's just a picture of her in her like office with all the her zimmer memorabilia and right smack dab in the middle of it you cannot miss it is the fucking uh zimmer uh face that we have behind me in face and i could i laughed for like two straight minutes it's so hard once you see it it's all you can see. And it's so fucking funny. It made me want to read his books more because and maybe there just is nothing outside of baseball, but it's so tough to find information relating to Don Zimmer that isn't somehow wrapped in baseball.

He got married on a baseball field like it's his whole life is baseball. Yeah, 100 percent. Just a fascinating. I was, you know, I was trying to do research. I was trying to figure out what foods he liked, and it was tough. And I stumbled on this random excerpt from a book that is like baseball superstitions. And I read this

story of it was like in the 30s for a baseball team. And this team went on a winning streak, and the coach demanded that all the players eat what they ate on the first day of the winning streak. And this one guy downed like a whole glass of prune juice that day and so for every day he had to drink prune juice like a full glass of it they went on an eight game winning streak so it was like eight days in a row or i guess yeah i guess they're back-to-back games he had eight days of prune juice and he's just

miserable it's like the most excited he's ever been to loose like he faced himself it's just he happened to have prune juice on the day of a winning streak it was like some random coaches like keep doing what you're doing every day and fucking prune juice every day be terrible never had that no i've never there's no reason we you know we should do we should all before we record the next episode of face we should all get prune juice and then we should drink it. God. And then see if we have a streak. See if we have a good episode. What is a prune?

It's a plum, is it? Yeah, I think that's right. Dead plum? I think it's a dead plum, yeah. I have no idea what a prune is. What is a regulation amount of prune juice? We need to... What are we doing for size? It's a raisin plum yeah that makes sense

a raisin wait wait not like a grape could i i'm not sure what is confusing about like gavin said it and then i don't what's the confusion a raisin is it is a grape that is dehydrated yeah it's like it's like the yeah it's like the raisin equivalent of a plum. So raisin is just a term for dehydration and fruit. OK, that's yeah, I didn't know that. I assumed raisin was its own thing. I didn't know as a general term that could cover other categories. Well, at least at least in the achievement hunter world, that's the case.

I don't know. In the larger world is Humpty Dumpty and Easter thing. No. that's the case i don't know in the larger world is humpty dumpty an easter thing no because what we did speaking of okay well there's a there's a reason for this when we did the break shit to stream speaking of things are like moments that pass where you can't comment somebody mailed a bunch of packs very kindly to you and you're going through the packs and one of them was like easter themed and it looked like a giant egg which i assume was humpty dumpty and i never really thought about the fact that humpty dumpty was an egg which then made me think is humpty dumpty an easter thing i don't really know the origin of humpty dumpty so i just thought i'd ask i don't think he lived long enough to find out i just it's uh i just wanted to ask

it's just it came to my mind we're talking about this stuff i don't know how i got there but i was just curious i didn't think he was i never i've never associated humpty dumpty with easter it's part of the easter pack though well i just i never thought about the fact he wasn't because who would try to put an egg back together when you break an egg there's no well especially we're using horses of course a horse couldn't put an egg back together oh yeah that's really weird that the horses were involved i don't know what part the horses were in on i always assume they wrote in but you're right the wording do you think that when they said all the king's horses and all the king's men they're talking about the king of kings

god and this is a whole metaphor where like not, not even God could put Humpty Dumpty back together, he's so broken? I think that's a bit, slightly deeper than what they were going for. Yeah, no, I never even considered who the king would be. That makes it religious, because Easter is a religious holiday, maybe that's the angle into Easter. Ah! So, was he always an egg, or was he a man

that died, and then became an egg to make it more nursery rhyme friendly? Humpty Dumpty. Was his first was that a nickname? What is the story behind? What is the origin? This is Vin Diesel 2.0. Quietly googling Humpty Dumpty.

How old was Humpty Dumpty during the first Fast and Furious? We're in the Fast and Furious portion of the Humpty Dumpty doesn't give away the fact that he's an egg. It's not like Eggie Weggie on the wall. No. It's Humpty Dumpty. It's like a great name for a camel.

There's a pissed off camel somewhere, but he can't use that name. Through the Looking Glass has the Humpty Dumpty stuff in it, and in Chapter 6, Humpty Dumpty is apparently... He becomes more... The egg only got larger and larger and more and more human what so wait an egg started inflating oh no that's terrifying hump so you're saying that I could have got Humpty Dumpty in a carton was his origin like he started standard regulation egg size of And then he became-

He had a ton of a dozen eggs. Yeah, he's just part of a pack. And then he grew. It predates the Lewis Carroll story. Huh. Okay, sorry. I didn't want to- We didn't have to veer off completely

at Humpty Dumpty. I was just curious. It just popped into my head. Oh. It says, as with a lot of these iconic old tales, though, things aren't as they seem here.

Not at all. Incredibly, the original Humpty Dumpty wasn't an egg. He was probably a cannon. A cannon? Yeah. The original story predates Carroll's take on the character. According to a number of military historians, Humpty Dumpty was the name of a cannon used by the Royalists during the English Civil War.

The conflict ranged from 1642 to 1649, and in June of 1648, Humpty Dumpty was stationed on the walls of Colchester. It was one of several cannons erected to try and keep Parliament's army from taking the city. Dude, Humpty Dumpty saved your country, Gavin. I just like the idea of someone knocking over a cannon and it rolls off a wall and that became a pivotal moment in human history for decades and centuries to come. The cannon is named Humpty Dumpty? Yeah, yeah. Let's see.

Was it on like a little raised portion of the ground? Someone got killed by Humpty Dumpty. The next month, however, the parliamentary forces heavily damaged the walls beneath Humpty Dumpty with their own artillery. You can guess where this is going. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, broke into pieces. As for that business of all the king's horses

and all the king's men, it seems like those lines can be taken quite literally. The royalists or cavaliers were very much the king's men fighting in support of King Charles who would go on to lose the war. Yada, yada, yada.

So interesting. So that's a good point. How many people did Humpty Dumpty kill? He was probably a mass murderer. I'd assume so. Yeah. Can you imagine sending horses in to fix a cannon? That's more unreasonable to me than fixing an egg with horses. I would never send horses for a cannon.

Well, no, it's more unreasonable to fix an egg because a horse could do a lot more damage to a broken egg than a broken cannon. Yeah, but I feel like- A horse is just gonna make it work. Nah, I feel like a horse, you just kinda gotta line the egg up, right? Like, if you're fixing a cannon, that's a mechanical level. You're going to need tools. A horse can't hold a screwdriver, right?

Yeah. A horse can't hold a wrench and a screwdriver. That's why. Yeah, that's the, well, I guess maybe in its mouth it could, there's probably ways that this could work,

but the problem with it's the great, the great, uh, failure of a horse is that it doesn't have opposable hooves. That's what's, it's what holds it back. It does. I'd agree with that.

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safely, you guys are getting out there and you're going and experiencing some places and having some fun. I know I've got a Vegas on the docket this year. I got hopefully Mexico as well. And then maybe maybe one more vacation with my daughter. And you can guarantee when I travel, I will be using my Raycons because they're awesome and convenient. So whether you're on an airplane flying to a destination or you're already there and you're like chilling out on a boat for the day, a pair of Raycon wireless earbuds in your ears can make all the difference. You get crisp,

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William Shatner has a store and it is a strange thing. It has stuff on it that you'd assume it's got things from his past. I'll just I'll link I'll put some links in. This is something I'm going to buy. I don't own a tie. I'm going to buy a tie from the William Shatner store. It's from Boston Legal. It was worn by somebody who was in one episode once. I'm very own a tie. I'm going to buy a tie from the William Shatner store. It's from Boston Legal. It was worn by somebody who was in one episode once.

I'm very excited about this. Is that different to Boston Lettuce? Or Boston Rob? They're all very different things. They're completely different things. But the things you can get on his store... He's selling a Hall of Fame award on his store. If you just want to own his broadcasting Hall of Fame,

one of a kind, you could do that. But maybe the most egregious thing, this is what made me want to explore the absurdity that is William Shatner's store. He's selling Star Wars merchandise. He just gives no fucks. I feel like that that'd be like a huge thing that he wouldn't do. I feel like there's a kind of line. Maybe it's changed over time.

I'd love to see those links. I'm stumped. They're, they're all in the chat set of six danglers. I't know what a dangler is where the other great part no i don't i don't see you no no they're not i'm all i see is eric's shit i well i don't which chat which chat are you in no i'm in i'm in my oh they're vanishing my links are now vanishing suddenly what is going on what is is happening to my link? Is Shatner issuing real-time takedowns? He does hate Gus.

What? Why can't I... There we go. They're coming through. They're coming through. Okay, there we go. Okay. Why does he hate Gus?

It's Gus's story to tell. I think he told it on the RT podcast, but he did a panel with him, and somebody asked him a question, or somebody asked a question about Shatner, and he didn't like the question, so he unfollowed or he blocked everybody that was on the panel. So he blocked Gus on Twitter, even though Gus has nothing to do with him. That's Ty. He's selling Star Wars merch. But what makes it great?

What the hell? He's just selling like weird stuff. He writes, he writes the bios for like all the products he sells. Like when you read the Star Wars, one one of my favorite things you go to the description of it these ships in the set appear to be from Star Wars episode 1 the Phantom Menace like they don't even know it appears to be they're unsure Andrew you can buy

at the William Shatner store a William Shatner archives 1991 Hollywood Hollywood Walk of Fame card that's what I was getting to as far as the cards go look look at this amazing card. He has two different cards on his store. I'm going to post it here. Look at the grin he has.

He looks happy. He looks like a man ready to sell you frozen goods. I could see that on the side of a frozen sausage box, maybe. A series of breakfast heatable goodies uh i would say he's starting to look similar to don zimmer in his old age in the way that the face the features of the face like retreat back into the skull how old is shatner at this point he's gotta be pushing the 90s he's close to 90 he is 90 he's. He turned 90 this year in March. He had a great innings.

The other card, the 1991 Hollywood Walk of Fame. I'm more of a fan of the 2017 Tops Allen and Ginter card. Oh, the Allen and Ginter, yeah. I like the 91 because the toupee is on point there. Let's look at it. I didn't notice. You think there's a toupee? For about 40 or 50 years now,'s had one thing dude that's all i buy that card or i gotta figure out if there's a pack that i can rip it from to

get that i mean these all kind of make sense right like they're in they're within the realm of of he's got tj hooker merch oh my god he's got some tj Oh my god This is where we get This is the real gem Of the William Shatner store He just sells DVDs that aren't his That he has nothing to do with Is he like a distributor for other people's stuff I don't know

Is he just selling his own eBay Where he's just grabbing crap from his own Cabinets It's everything that he has in his collection, apparently, like when you read info about it. But $1,900 on a 2005 broadcast award. Yes. Who's that for?

We've got to... It's unavailable. We've got to find this and watch it together. No, yeah, I was was gonna get to that splat attack is something i'm very excited about the second one is on youtube splat with two p's is he does he have a paintball gun he's playing it's william shatner playing paintball as a movie it's and it's not it's not a movie it's it's his tale it is like a documentary like it's not scripteded it is about how Heroic he is

Sadly this is the only way to get Splat Attack The captain is back in an Action oh in action In the ultimate paintball Showdown Bursting with DVD extras Splat Attack Is simply unreal

A weird and delightful display of film crossing over somehow into the real world. Armed with paint, Shatner doesn't sit in some celebrity tent surrounded by agents and studio producers. Instead, even though the man is in his 70s, he literally, in all caps, takes command and races out onto the field to lead troops to the battle. He's on the front lines, blasting away at the enemy, wiping out more experienced players with the bat of a hand. There were no special privileges for the Supreme Shatner. Far from it. Instead, just like his alter ego Captain Kirk, Shatner charges in while others fear to tread,

even when his men try to hold him back. Yet like Kirk, even against the possible odds he somehow succeeds do you think he's fighting the alien that's in the top right of that image yeah i was looking at it goes on the left it's just some humans wearing paintball gear maybe some parachutes then a big alien yeah then a big old alien there is a trailer for this and yes he is fighting that alien he also comes in via parachute he enters the people match via a parachute mechanism of some kind of a trailer I really want to watch this I'm glad everyone else appears to be on board oh we need to buy this movie I feel like we should buy the

award as well and just have it the face podcast first award and it's William Shatner 2005 broadcastedcast and Cable Award. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. How much is that award going for? It's $1,900. Ew! Eric, we're going to need you to buy that for us. I feel like I wouldn't even want to buy his Oscar for that.

Why would you want someone else's award? It doesn't make any sense. It's got someone else's name on it. For $1,900. It's a one of one, dude! It's a one of one. Here's the trailer for Splat Attack. Please enjoy. It's very good. I'm very excited about this.

I'm watching it on mute. Do we need sound? Ah, it doesn't hurt. He returns to action. Shatner underscore log. He's flying in. Is this shot on video camera? 4x3 on video? What's going on?

Is there a Star Trek outfit? From what I can tell, he maintained his superiority by only allowing people to play paintball with him that were invisibly worse shaped than him. I can imagine working on this as like an extra and thinking this is beneath me oh man that's fuck oh the tanks riot shields a referee it's got everything you could possibly want in a movie. You know what's amazing?

That has been living on the internet for a while, just being awesome, and we had no idea until Andrew found it. Thank you, buddy. It was the weirdest thing to discover. It's just like also, here's another thing he has, coming out party for sale.

He's the only place you can buy Hell on Wheels Season 1 unwrapped, like unopened. Like, he's just selling an AMC show for some reason. It looks like he shot this paintball movie, but didn't get the rights to any of the paintball logos. Like, everything is blurred out everywhere. Oh my god.

Fandomstore.com. What is that? I have no idea. I did not explore. I think it might be the answer to... Oh, it doesn't exist. Never mind. Log on. Well, it's out of print, as they said. Yeah.

But even like... So I just... I posted a link for Coming Out Party on DVD. It's a stand-up special. This is how it's described. One-of-a-kind stand-up comedy. It depicts seven gay guys hilariously explaining their personal and their friends. Coming Out Story. A great comical stand-up comedy based on real-life stories. depicts seven gay guys hilariously explaining their personal and their friends coming out story

a great comical stand-up comedy based on real life stories each comedian takes his hilarious time on stage like what does that mean like that is i looked at the amazon description it is nothing like that i love shatner's editorials they're just they're terrible so it's shatner's selling other people's products and by the looks of it, guessing what they're about without actually watching. Largely, yes. Just assuming, making assumptions about, you could buy, this is another, you love collectibles, Jeff.

You're a big collectible guy. You can get an Emmy screener for Shatner's Ronner, which is the Kelsey Grammer episode, which ties back to this show. We've got some Kelsey Grammar stories of the past. It's true. It's a great connection. But like, once again, a strange thing of

at the end of the product description, these are from Mr. Shatner's archives and are marked with archive stickers on the reverse. The episode on the DVD is the Kelsey Grammar. That's how they wrote it. We suggest you keep them sealed as this show was never on DVD and they will only appreciate in price

given their rarity so do not open it buy this disc from us but do not open it because shatner's archive of shatner's raw nerve with kelsey graber it's gonna skyrocket in value oh that's fantastic it's just a weird thing i recommend exploring the store i'm sure you'll find strange stuff there it just seems like an endless well of bizarre i emailed the store i have yet to hear a reply back but i hope i do be careful there's no refunds by the way on the entire store there are no refunds some of it is very aggressive they sell they have like a category of things called items for a penny and you cannot get more than two of them and they're very you could get a splat attack poster though if you want for for one penny uh yeah that's eight by ten we'll put that on the break show is that's that's set stuff right there also batman forever enamel pinback

earrings a thing he had no involvement with like once again he has no ties to batman forever he's not in it i don't know why he has that he was ep on some of these well that's the so the question is is that a paramount movie because they have when you go to the contact us page on his store they have an address and they say don't visit this place but this is the address don't come here it's not public and i looked it up it's just paramount studios is his address so i feel like he just has like a corner of like some lot of paramount and it's just whatever they have in there he's selling oh it's a weird thing i'd like i bet you there are other strange celebrity stores but i've

i've never encountered anything quite like william shatters yeah this one is uh this this is pretty fantastic it also it's like it's of a time, right? Like, this looks like it was designed in 2003. Yes. And maybe it was, and it's still working, I guess, right? So, I wonder if he knows he has a store. I bet he does. He's still pretty active on social media.

Yeah, he's pretty active, but I wonder if, like, does he know he has a store, or do his people run it for him? You know what I mean? I don't know. I'll tweet him about it. What's his name on Twitter? Is his name Shatner? Oh, you can get a Playmates Grand Nagas

Zek Ferengi action figure. I don't think he ever dealt with the Ferengi, but okay. We'll see. We'll see if he gets back to me. I bet you he blocks me. If he engages with that tweet at all, it will be a block. Just looking at some of the props he's got for sale. I'm excited to buy the ties.

I hope that nobody scoops the ties up. Well, buy it now. No. I'll wait. Add some suspense. You can get a Luke and Leia swing to freedom diorama. They have more Star Wars stuff? I didn't know that they had multiple Star Wars things.

I only saw... If you click on other franchises, you can get Stan Lee's Mutants, Monsters, and Marvels. That's out of print as well. There's some Battlestar Galactica toys. There's an Andy Griffith Show DVD. Everybody remembers the Rachel Lee Cook movie, Sally. That's in there. No replies to the tweet yet from Shatner.

No replies to the tweet. We'll see. to the tweet yet from Shatner. No replies to the tweet. We'll see. Would you like to buy Boston legal prop Joan Zelders employee of the year from 2004 season two?

There's fire. I don't know who Joan Zelders is. I don't know if that was a random character. Oh, yeah, it was. It was a random character in the show. One hundred fifty dollars.

Maybe this is a cheaper award we can buy than William Shatner's broadcasting Hall of Fame. That was just i don't know it's one of the weirdest things i've encountered so i've wanted to share it for a while now and it just kept slipping out of i feel like i got lost in it for a little bit going down a shatner rabbit hole could i i've i got one more you're speaking of like things existing on the internet that people just don't know about uh i had another discovery recently that I feel like it feels very Internet.

It feels very much like rap for Jesus, but undiscovered. I went through and I listened to every state song and I ranked them. I did a whole list of state songs. I listened to all of them. Some states have multiple songs. Tennessee is like eight different state songs that I went through and one of their state songs. This is not the state song. It is the official bicentennial rap of Tennessee.

I'm going to post like here. This I'm imagining the woman in the thumbnail is rapping. This is delightful. It only has like a very minimal amount of views, like 10,000, 12,000 views. The Internet should know about the Tennessee bicentennial rap. How did you find this? Well, because I was going through state capitals.itals why were you why did you decide to do that it was a jeopardy trivia question of uh what state has eight capitals and the answer was tennessee

and i was like i should listen to all the tennessee capitals and then it evolved to i should listen to every state capital and rank them all and determine what it what state has the best capital song I got listen some of this. This is the best rap song I've ever heard in my entire life It's good it's something It's very good jackson poke and johnson three god damn i really like whiskey whiskey sipping smooth moon pies here's a question this was from 1996 do you think she's still alive i i believe that she uh is an eternal being Jeff. I don't it was yes Not it was like 15 years ago. This song is just a list

What was the budget for that do you think I don't probably the same as the show I'd assume Maybe she'll go halfsies on us with us on the Shatner Award. Shatner Award, yeah. Dude, so you've ranked them all. How long did this take? Oh, this was like, I did this all in one evening. It was probably like six hours. The best one,

and it almost feels like it's cheating to use like known artists, but it's West Virginia's Country Roads, Take Me Home. It's a great, great song. It's a state song. That's a state song. That's a state song That is the state song that is the official state song of West Virginia's country roads number two once again It just feels like sort of cheating. It's Georgia on my mind by Ray Charles specifically is Georgia state song

The worst on my list is Maine state of Maine Maine state song terrible. I'm gonna guess it's choir I ranked a lot of the choir songs pretty low not into that kind of music not into that kind of it's just not like you kind of there's kind of a limited range i will say that like as far as surprises go new mexico has a banger of the state song great How's it going? Oh, Fair New Mexico. It's just, it's a vibe. Like, it feels like it should have been a Breaking Bad. It's a great... Let me see if I can find Oh, Fair New Mexico.

What qualifies as a state song? Like, it was written specifically for the state? It was written specifically for the state, and typically they vote to have it be, like, the official... So, like, Lynyrd Skynyrd singing about Alabama that wasn't written for the state no that was not that is not they did not go through the process to make that the state song

I think New Jersey doesn't have a state song and it's like they agreed that they were gonna have one but then the governor just didn't do the paperwork so it doesn't have something like that like you just forgot there are like three or four state songs That just stole the music from Oh Christmas

Tree they just are like this is A great instrumental track we're gonna Slop the lyrics Yeah there's like four of them that Are just that it was quite the journey Going state by state but New Mexico Is Oh Fair New Mexico Let's see is this the

Yeah this is it I mean you don't have this is a four and a half minute song I don't think it's necessarily worth listening to all of it but it's uh it's a banger as far as state songs go Oh Fair New Mexico yeah oh I like that the I'm telling you it's a fucking

it's a banger of a song nice guitar work you don't want to listen to four and a half minutes. It totally sounds like it should be a Breaking Bad. Like one of those cold opens or something. Yeah.

It feels like a Breaking Bad. It sounds like it could be a song about Heisenberg. It does. Dude, this song is awesome. It's a great song. It's very high on the list of today's songs.

Great. Hell yeah, it's the home of the Montezuma. This is great. I did that and then the next thing I did, see this was when we took two weeks off and I just missed you guys that i needed to fill like activity as it's doing things i listened to every single original song oscar winner and ranked those as well so i got a full list i've listened to every song that has won an oscar for

original song i've been in the same boat as you I just keep taking photos of Pedro Martinez baseball cards and scanning them into Photoshop I'm excited to see the end result yeah but this is this is a way more exciting way to spend that that idle bored lonely time than what I was doing this is awesome so the worst apparently the worst song

I don't even remember what it sounds like but the movie was called Papa's Delicate Condition Call Me Irresponsible 1963 the worst Oscar song of all time the greatest Oscar what it sounds like, but the movie was called Papa's Delicate Condition, Call Me Irresponsible, 1963. The worst Oscar song of all time. The greatest Oscar song of all time is from Tarzan's You'll Be in My Heart, 1999. There's some songs that I'm surprised

didn't win Oscars on the list. Those are great, great pieces. The Oscar one took longer. The States was one night, Oscars was maybe four or five days. So what are you going to do? Are you going to publish these lists somewhere? I don't know. I just wanted to build the lists.

I guess I could publish them somewhere. I feel like now that they exist, they need to be the official F*** Face list. Yeah, I'm just surprised you went with these songs as your first great F*** Face lists, though. Like, I feel like different dressings would have been one of your very first lists well i'd have to go out and buy dressings this is just me on youtube listen to things it's a lot easier i could just do this from the comfort of my bed

going through listening to songs there are songs i didn't realize were movie songs like raindrops keep falling on my head no idea but that was the butch cassidy and sundance kids song oh yeah that's a good ass movie dude a bunch of christmas songs like white christmas that's a movie song that won an oscar that's from a holiday inn isn't it uh white christmas uh where is that from it's funny doing these because you set lines like there's the shaft line there was the uh mona lisa line these different what uh yeah holiday and white christmas you're right 1942 not not age great that one no i guess not what what has at this point it was interesting

listening to baby it's cold outside like the verses were reversed than what is commonly done what like male female reversed yeah like it opens female like it opens female, and then it goes male, and then it goes back and forth. Where traditionally, when people hear that song, it opens male, and it kind of stays male. But the roles reverse within the movie and within the singing of the version that won an Oscar. It's fascinating. It's a very historical episode of F*** Face. fascinating it's a very historic historical very historical episode of

face yes the important history of Oscar movie songs and William Shatner's award history and and we got to the bottom of Humpty Dumpty don't forget that I like that we never know what

episode is gonna be like yeah we we popped the can on that controversy and got into it. Eric wants us to start stopping. So we should probably... Does anybody have any shit they want to cover before we stop? Do you think Shatner's selling any pieces of the Humpty Dumpty cannon?

I want to buy some of his hair. I want to buy like an old hair piece. We should start selling stuff from the show. Like you should cut up your watering can and start selling pieces of it. I want to start selling the cards we break, you know? Like I was thinking I could put in a, in like, you know, they have different display cases for cards. I could put your ice ice baby thing that you made,

which was a vanilla ice card, a vanilla ice card, and then a picture of a rad dude baby. I think I can put those next to each other three by you know in a glass case and sell or plastic case and sell that sucker on ebay for fucking dollars yeah not not as much as william shatner's broadcast award probably not but you know you never know you gotta start somewhere oh also before we wrap i want to do one thing uh when we were we were talking last in person i guess guess it would have been that break show. Eric mentioned in passing, just like I don't even know what the context was, but he mentioned again how long it takes to get dry with a blow dryer out of the shower. And once again, reminding me that he misunderstood the instructions of that. And so when I was taking a shower this morning, I thought I would do something uh is what i had my i mentioned this last episode i had some bad bathroom insights very small very minor but i thought i would i would dry myself like i normally do but i i timed the process to see how much blow dryer you should be using to dry yourself off and it's 20 29 seconds so if you're blow drying more than 29 seconds to dry yourself then you didn't dry yourself off enough with the towel so So I mean, for a six foot tall man who weighs roughly 175.

So it's the blow dryer just to remove the clamminess post towel. Yeah, it's just like to hit those little like the crevices that are still kind of wet and gross and to give you a night because you're already blow drying your hair. And then like then I noticed like, oh, my beard's full of water. So you blow dry your beard and that feels good. And then the water goes down to your neck. So then you blow your neck. And then before you know it're like oh if i could

just continue this down i feel better i feel great i'm not trying to i'm not trying to dive back into season one content or anything i just thought for posterity's sake because it bugged me that he just walked out of a shower sopping wet and tried to dry himself off and then as if as if my my technique was flawed uh so i i drive myself execution risk yeah so what. So I dry myself off. You're at an electrocution risk. Yeah. So what you should do, dry yourself off

and then about 29 seconds or so is about the amount of time you should be under the blow dryer. And if you're doing more than that, you probably didn't dry off enough. Why don't they build a hair dryer? Why don't they build them into the shower heads

so you can just flip from one mode to the other? Dude, I think that thing might exist. I mean, our bidets do it for our buttholes right it's true and i once used a uh i think it was a dyson tap in a bathroom above the sink and you get the water out and then it switches to dry mode and it just fires air down into the sink at all the water and blows it all over your shirt it's a really great invention also this morning while I was doing that, I realized another,

and maybe you guys are already doing this, maybe I'm late to the game, but if you're not, I want to throw it out there because at 46 years, never crossed my mind, we've been out of Q-tips for a while. We ran out,

we keep forgetting to buy them at the grocery store. So we bought some Q-tips last night and I got so fucking excited to use the Q-tips. I dual-wielded the Q-tips and when i was doing it i realized i've never done that before i've always been a one year at a time q-tipper dual wielded it it's a little stressful because you're doing two things at once but talk about a time saver i've cut my q-tipping time in half but that's all bullshit oh it doesn't do anything it doesn't it does nothing but like push wax against your eardrum the shite you shouldn't use it no it takes the wax out that's why bullshit. Oh, God. It doesn't do anything. It does nothing but, like, push wax against your eardrum. Can we?

The shite. You shouldn't use it. No, it takes the wax out. That's why it's on the Q-tip. No, you need the wax in there. No, you need some wax in there. But the excess wax is what is pushing down and, like, impacting. No, I'm not doing that.

Very bad for you. Especially two at a time. I've had to fart for two hours. Can we end this? I need to... I need... What's going on with Andrew? I've been holding had to fart for two hours. Can we end this? I need to, I need, what's going on with Andrew? I've been holding in a fart for two fucking hours.

Can we end this? I thought we were wrapping. Well, I've been holding it in. Why are you holding it in? We can't smell it. It doesn't matter to us. No,

it would be loud. I don't know. I didn't, I didn't want to interrupt. I don't know. You have a loud fart. All right, well,

let's end it on your fart. Andrew, fart us out live. We'll fart it out live, Andrew. This is, well, you's end it on your fart. Andrew, fart us out live. We'll fart it out live, Andrew. This is, well, you know the pressure of farting now, like trying to capture it. So it's going to be a disappointment, but I'll try. Two hour fart.

Hey, thank you for listening to F*** Face. We're going to end on a high note. We're going to end on a two hour fart. We'll see you next week. And I released it a little bit Because I thought we were rambling And then you put it on Q-tips It sounded like someone Punching a cup of mud

That was so wet It sounded like someone punching a cup of mud. That was so wet. It sounded like a soggy engine trying to turn over. It sounded like you're trying to start a lawnmower! Oh, why was that so good? It was just really not disappointing at all. And it came over perfectly through Discord. Oh my God, that was so loud. Did you like tilt up to do that?

Or was that just where you sat? No, no, I put the microphone to my ass, but I don't know what I did. I've been ripping homers for like the last 12 hours. It's- I just can't stop. Oh! I don't know dude, but that was- that was definitely a homer. Oh my- Yeah. Zimmer would be proud.

Oh, we've become a fart podcast. I think we always have been. Yeah, we went from the beginning- We weren't doing them. We think we have been from the beginning. We weren't doing them. We weren't doing them on the recordings. Oh, God. I don't think we could have

asked for a better ending.