Fladseth - Halv banan

Episode Date: November 29, 2024

//Annonsering - Betalt innhold//Grunnet julebordsesong og generelt hardkjør blir det ikke vanlig episode denne uka, men her kan du høre første episode av podcasten Halv banan, med Fladseth og Jonis Josef. Resten ligger i appen Podimo.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

And a thousand of children are here now, against the heaven's joseph. That was Kurt Nielsen's undying classics. It shines in still borders. Yes, then we are in the process of a little one. It is a slightly different episode. Stille Grender, yes! We are here with a small... It's a different episode, as you can see from the title and description of this shit. It's a bit of a goal today.

A lot of work and family stuff, full package. I haven't had enough. It's not going to be a good... I haven't had enough guests. I haven't had enough to sit and talk for a long time, because I have to continue. So that opens up for a free episode of the podcast Halbanan, which is the other podcast I have, with Jørnis Josef. The podcast's frame is that we often capitalize on the man's fall, the man's indecency, as the statistics show, is under great pressure, the man's role. So we sit and just point a little around that, and then it's mostly just sour and meh and piss talk and stories and funny things that the podcast is about. It's a podcast I've been enjoying, it has had an evolution, it has become very good. So I give it the first episode of Half Banana. We're going back in time, we're going back to June 2024.

And there has been a journey that you can follow if you want. If you like it, Halbanan is on Podimo. Podimo is the app you have to get if you want to hear more. And that is... I'm not going to put any harsh words on that. You choose it yourself. If you like it, there is a possibility to get more on Podimo. So with that said, I serve in your fucking ears the first episode of the podcast. Half a banana with me.

And the pig. The bastard. Jørnis Josef. Enjoy! Oh, look at that! Is it Jass? It's actually not Jass we have here. It's just Jass. Are you a seller? That's actually a Oh That's a real one

Oh I say that, yes, grow on me for every day that passes Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the hall I am Jørnis Josef And you are Henrik Flatseth That's right And you have taken on the lead role

You have seen the movie Tom Hanks? Captain Phillips? Yes. And the famous line, I'm the captain now? Yes. Yes, I'm the fucking captain now. There you go.

And you are sick today? I'm sick, but let's just take it one step further. You have taken on the lead role. You have taken on the lead role. And that is only in humor and podcast-companion. That works. You have a leading role here, and that is only in humor and podcasting. You are completely clear, the two of us, who are the worst in this role. You know I was the captain of the team.

It's only humor that you are the program manager. I was the captain of the football team. I was the leader of the youth school. And I was the ambassador for the entire municipality. I have a leader in me, Henrik. I have it. You must not forget that I am a public speaker. But then I see that you have lost yourself over the years. I have. For me, you don't praise leadership.

But do you know why I don't praise leadership? Because I like to see other people's faces. I am a leader who likes to push people in front of me, and see people win and build themselves up and coming to their strongest side. But those wild guys with the bald faces like you, there's a lot to do with that. We can get a lot of resources out of you. But are you going to be the leader? But look, if I'm going to be the leader, I'm not going to give anything. Look at what I do every day. I gather people in large groups and talk to them. If I stand up, I speak to them.

If this had been in 1920, I would have been a communist. Would this have been... Revolutionary! You are Hitler in 1944, you mean? Yes. I speak to large groups. And you speak too? What is your ambition with this? Are you going to take over the world?

I am going to be a saint, and I am going to be a good... I met... I did this the other day. I was at the Shabana's memorial. And they asked me if I could say something, which I often do, I make appeals to big groups of people. Yes, you do. As a strong leader I am. You are going from the cannabis reform to the Shabana Memorial Prize. What? I'm not a leader, I'm a revolutionary! You are a demagogue.

But you know who I met at the Shabana Memorial Prize? Simon Welle. Our great leader. Our great leader, Simon Welle. And I'm going to tell you something, when he went up on stage I thought, Oh, fuck this guy. And before went up on stage, I thought, Oh, fuck this guy. And before he was finished talking, I thought, Fuck, he's becoming Prime Minister.

Fuck, he's becoming Prime Minister. But you would have been charmed by this. Okay, Simen Velle, without any comparison whatsoever, I must say, but you would have been charmed by the mention of Dov Fittler as well. I had. But what about Simen Welle,

to take it, he doesn't want to become Prime Minister, he doesn't want to have power, he says, but I don't know if I buy that. When people say that he doesn't want power, I think that is a strategy, it's a tactic on his way to get power.

It sounds ridiculous, it sounds... ... earth-shattering. Okay, what happened? It's like you said, he said he wouldn't be... I'll try to call Simon Weller, see if I can get him into the conversation. Oh my god, you would have taken back everything I said about you and the show's director. Everything he would have taken back. If you had... On improv, got Simon Well gotten a lot of money.

I'm not going to say anything about the fact that I'm calling him now. But he went up on stage and saw that he was going to discuss the male roles with other people. And then it's actually... Because the problem is, I've always said this, that FRP, what's annoying about them is that they are racist. Isn't that a bit too simple? Yes, but I say that's what irritates them more. How many are they? A lot of FRP's politics is about anti-immigration, right?

But they also have a bunch of FRPs that want cheaper Pepsi, want water bottles, want four-folds, I mean, populist parts of FRPs. I can be offended by that. Isn't racism part of populism too? Yes, it is, but populism at my expense. That's why it's angry. That's why it's angry.

That's why it's angry, brother. If it had been a different people group, I would have said, you should do something about the sameness. And they would have said, what? Let's do something about the sameness. But as soon as I'm in here, it stresses me. But Simon Welle, he was... He took it for himself. It was irritating. He was so good at talking.

And he was so... Because when it comes to identity politics, there's so much fuss. Or not fuss, if I'm not the guy. But there's so much stuff, and people forget about it. The starting point of the conversation is that suddenly there's... You discuss ideas, almost. And then one person the starting point of the conversation, that suddenly you discuss ideas. And then one person comes here, but here what happens in practice.

And then there are a lot of men who are struggling today, who do not get attention. And then you see one guy like that. Now Simon Bell is calling. Yes, what the hell is going on? Hi Simon! Hi, what are you doing? What's going on? You said what's going on, what's going on? You are on air with Henrik Flatset and me now, and we are discussing you, and the male role, and how it looks in 2024.

It's in many ways a backhand attack. Unfortunately, I'm sorry. Yes, it's okay, it's okay. A little backhand attack, I'm used to. Yes, you are. But not from me, I'm a fan of you, Martin. Yes, you are. But not from me, I am the most beautiful of you, unfortunately. Yes, I love you. I can't say it to the haters. You have Jørnus by the balls, Simon. Congratulations. You are a big star.

Now that you talk so much, we are going to make a podcast about the male role. What would you say is the biggest challenge of the male role these days? I think the male role is a bit of a pain. The last generations have what it means to be a woman. That is a term that has become very vague. There are still many more who can call themselves themselves women and feel like they have to call themselves women, despite living a bit of an untraditional life. That's good. But the same development hasn't happened with the male soul. So unfortunately, a lot of people have a personal guilt, and that you don't feel like you are the person you should be, despite living a life that should be completely within you.

And that is a big problem. Not necessarily a problem that we need to spend tax money on, but at least it's a problem we need to talk about. I think you're in on it. Case closed. Case closed! It was one episode. You usually have this behind you, and we have this behind us.

Yes, yes, yes. You and your conservative values, Henrik, you bastard! Simon, you are very welcome to our guest podcast today! Yes, I'm more than happy to be here, it's been a great pleasure to hear that! Incredibly nice, you probably have a lot of important things to do. No, I'm doing an interview with TV2 now, right? Yes, I know, I know. Damn, you guys are so good friends! I look so beautiful, Jonas. It, Jørnis is my friend! Now you're holding back!

Okay, Simon, we'll talk! I'm very happy. Do you know how to serve me? Then this podcast is on! And if you have any show hosts in you, you build a bridge and tell about... build a bridge from here to what this podcast is about. This podcast is going to if you have any show-leaders in mind, you build a bridge and tell them what this podcast is about. This podcast is about the male role in 2024. It's very appropriate that we talk to Simon, because he is one representative for one discussion of this male role today. Men hang themselves over a low shoe. Depression is higher than ever before. Men are bad at getting education statistics. And we, as men, we have to beat a blow. Men have been ruling for thousands of years, man.

It's only now we notice some blow in the face. We never beat a blow, yes. And we are not used to being underdogs. And let it be completely clear. We have not been given the mandate to do this. This is done at a very low level. And we have to be honest that we capitalize completely crazy on the man's progress. Yes, we are not here for help. We are comedians. It is our talent in life.

We, you hear, once we try to become important, it's not a very solid level. We are kidding. And it should be. You have to have a good sense of humor. Even on Titanic, I think they played the violin and so on. They were a little funny. It would be a joke until the end. You have to do that. You have to do that. So we have to laugh and have a laugh, she has to go down. You have to. And you are now sick. I am sick. You have to address it so people just know where you are.

Yes, I had thought of addressing it earlier, because I feared that I would be a shield myself. I haven't done it right away. so I thought, should I do it? Yes, I have. I smoked a cigarette a few days ago. And it's a shame, because we are going through some new things, I think, but I haven't done anything else in the last few days. And despite the fact that I have family, I have a wife, I have a young wife. Moreover, I have two wives at home and a small, little son, who is almost two years old. You mean a wife? I thought you lived like an Arab.

A wife, a wife, my son is a wife in the head. Two wives and two in the head. And all three have wives. All three have boobs now. The lady has the period. She doesn't have so much period, she has boobs. She goes for the very modern period, the She only had a bra. Bichamy has a bra. Because she has a running time and bleeds out of her limits. Are there just a lot of blood everywhere? No, not with me. Because I have a spark of genius.

Then I found out that we just take a kind of bra, not the kind you type on, but the kind you just put your legs up in the bra. Then you cut holes in the throat, three blankets on the back, the throat out, no blood around. Do you dare to walk around with that dog? I recommended this to your good friend Filip, and he has been teasing me every day. Are you kidding? No, and people have started to get this. I feel like I'm the leader of this thing. No matter what. I can't be proud of you. I can't be proud of a leader.

Now I've answered, so we'll just go back on track. But after birth, it's common for women to go a little more with the adult. And then we wanted to have... I said yes, as I knew it. I didn't know. Then we wanted to have a group picture of the beard, the boy and the girl, a bit like that, a nice photograph. Where everyone has a beard.

And maybe I should have been there, too, with the beard. It would have been totally crazy. Where were we? Why did I come up with this? Everyone at home has a beard, you are sick, that you have been sitting at home and haven't read the news. Good, good, Jonas. I think... You get the advantage of what I'm saying. I'm going to comment on the end if you're a good programmer, Drikke.

I don't think this is so stupid. Despite the fact that I have family and responsibility, I have hardly done anything in the last few days. I have done... I have seen Dune 1 and Dune 2. As I have to say anything the last few days. I have done... I have seen Dune 1 and Dune 2. As I have to say, fantastic movie. And That's About It. Oh, that's fantastic. Fantastic. I'm crying when I'm done. Listen! Al-Qaib!

Yes. I always get gassed when they say... Can I spoil the movie? No. No, okay. We don't do that. We're not going into Dune. This podcast is not about Dune. No? It's not't do that. We're not going into the Dune. This podcast is not about Dune.

Not? It's not in the area. Couldn't it be a bit about Dune? No. Okay. Because that one... Okay, did you get the meme about Donussi? What?

Everyone talks about the arm. And then there's a flashlight that looks like the arm. And they call it a Donussi. Yes, yes, yes. This is good. This is important. Today I just want to chill with my dunussi. And there were a lot of nasty memes about how they would crack that word. Do you have more of those? I'm curious to talk about you now.

Someone said that Timothy Charlemay looks like a spissko. Who the hell is that? I'm so bad at that name. It's the guy who is Lisanne Al-Ghaib. The main character in Dune. The main role. Maybe... But you said that if you look at Trinas, and if you look at Trinas now, you see a pair of boots. That's Trinas. Of course, you're wrong about him.

He is a beautiful young man. He is so androgynous. That's a word I've learned recently. If it had been Kevin Spacey, I would have run after him. Run after him. Run after him like a hyena on the beach. That's something I wanted to bring up, because you mentioned Kevin Spacey now.

He's not really free, he's not a devil. We're so damn desperate. We should first talk about what the podcast is about. That's what we're talking about, right? Because I think Kevin Spacey is very relevant. 100% And we're talking about. That's what we're talking about. Yes. Because I mean, I swear I'm used to it. 100 percent. And that I'm sick. Very used to it.

Yes. I'm going to finish there. The thing is that I've barely done anything. And I've always thought that in a crisis situation, I want to stand up as a leader type. I want to be apathetic. I'm going to fight in the front line. But every time I smoke that so-called Man Flu, I start to doubt the role I wanted to take.

Because I confirm all that Man Flu thing, every time I get sick every time. I was so sick, I was so sick. It was so hard to get up and walk on the floor. I recognize myself in something that happened. I have always been my biggest problem as a man. I have been... I avoid conflict. I was very fond of conflicts when I was younger. I liked to fight a lot. Until I got a big beating from a big guy.

And then I got a little bit of a backstroke and then I got a big... You fought a lot? I fought a lot when I was a kid. What were your super skills? Because you were very weak and heavy. No, but I was very aggressive. Were you fast? No, I had a headbutt. I hit my head, because I had a pretty hard head.

You had a huge head. You need to have a little neck muscles to support it. A lot. There were a lot of streaks in your head. I had some hydraulics in my throat. But I was also very... I was a bit weak, so I timed it right. If I were to beat you, I would also very... I was a bit shy, so I timed it correctly.

If I were to beat you, I would wait until... maybe I said something to you, and then BOOM! Then she came, I timed it very well. That was very fun. It wasn't your hamstring that smoked, it was your neck muscles that smoked. Your neck scenes, like the whole time. No, no, no, no, no. I was very fond of fighting before, and then I got a Christmas of six Moroccans in the Netherlands at one time. And it was quite a bit, not traumatic, but the beginning of a trauma. I have heard a story about taking a shaft and pulling a little... A shaft, one of our kids who was afraid of me, I was afraid of those kids, threw a stone at them, they ran back with some big brothers.

I tried to defend myself against two guys, they threw me down the hill, and then they banged me up, and then they called reinforcements, which was completely unnecessary, because they already banged me. Then four came, and then they took off a cycle turn and hit me in the head with a waffle pattern on the left side of my skin. An elderly Dutch lady passed me, I rusted my bag and said, Please help me! And she just lifted the bag and said, She beat you up? No, she lifted my bag and just walked away. And I understood why she was going to mix you up. Six moroccan bankers who paint. You're a Dutchman in your 40s, there's nothing you can do.

And then you're desperate when you take the first one, you take the old lady down and think that's what's going to help. It was the closest rescue I saw. And then I got a Christmas there, and then I can go back to the chain. And then a few years later I got into a fight again in the future. And then it got pretty bad. People came out of cars and a guy hit me in the back of the head. I fell and bled from behind my head.

So after a while I felt like, it's not that fun to fight. And then you come to Oslo and one of the first guys gets into a fight, and there's a guy with a gun down his pants. So he lifts up the gun, and drops it down. And then he's like, huh? I'm fighting a guy with a gun now? And then it's like, okay, we're done. So I got into a fight, and I pulled myself together. But this weekend, he was a guy who had done something,

didn't like it that much, he's back, he's back! He had done something, didn't like it that much, and he was so fucking angry. And then I go over to the guy, and I take him by the hand, and he says, Now you're coming with me. The guy is right, he's stronger than me, because he's so angry. Now you're coming with me. And when someone has so much self-esteem and is so aggressive, then you're with them. So they're with me in the corner. And then he said, I don't think I care what you do now. I just knew you would do that one more time. When a lot of things happened at once, what happened? What had he done?

He just took a promise to my wife and stuff. What? Didn't you say? She has made the poster for the podcast? If she has? If you put a... If you listen to it. Do you think he will listen to it? Maybe.

If you put so much as a half finger on a woman who has made a podcast poster, we will cast you, you little dick! And when I said to him, if you do it one more time, I got a look and I lit myself up. It was the madness I was afraid of. And then I took my finger and poked it in the chest. If you do it one more time, and it will be fucking awesome. And then I went. And then I understood it, and then I went home that day. And I was so satisfied with myself, Henrik. I was so satisfied with myself.

That I just stood up for myself. And without it being violent, it would be boring if I got beaten up. But it's nice to be able to break my fourth and feel good. I almost never had to say those things. It's nice to be able to brush your teeth and feel good. I almost never had to say those things, but I have to do it, so I'm ready. And again I'll bring in Kevin Spacey. I'll come to my go-to thing, if there's a lot of need for it in the coming years. To be in sync with them? Yes, it's just a violence. No, it's to take the ball.

Ball-tack? Yes, take it around like Kevin Spacey, really just hold the to rape them. No, it's also about the ball. Ball-tack? Yes, take it around like Kevin Spacey, really just hold the ball around them. I'm going to be known for that. You've always been aggressive, but you've always been able to stand up for yourself. I've seen you

when you're out and things happen and stuff, you don't back down. I find myself in zero bullshit. But I feel that it never comes to... I don't know, but it never becomes something violent. Do you have any nice girls out there? I don't think I have so many nice girls. At the same time, I'm very concerned about being liked and that I don't end up in any drama. So I think I'm very pre-attentive.

I don't think I'm keen on having beef. I don't think it seems particularly cool. But if I have to, if someone clops on my lady, then it's the balls. I can't get it so hard, but I should have a good grip around the balls, so that I can control my eyes while I'm holding the stick. And they know that if they do something wrong, the balls are stolen. But such a fight like that is so damn important to win. Because there is Michael Chavitz, who says it very well, how he says like this.

When I was younger, if someone said the N-word to me, I would have to beat them. Now if someone says the N-word to me, I don't dare to do anything, because if I lose the fight, I have indirectly given in to the temptation to use any words. And the same thing if someone says something to your girlfriend, and you say, hey, don't do that again, and they bang their heads. That's fucking pathetic. Then your girlfriend has all the cards, his family in the way of being raped and killed and the worst. And you are his husband, you are the father, you have to, it seems like an impossible fight, but you have to take to fight. Imagine how many times throughout history people have lost the fight, and then they have sung. How incredibly clumsy and damn it. It is the most clumsy thing you can experience.

But is it better not to fight? Much better. Much better not to fight. What should we do then? Just take them. Take them. I'm not going to win this. Then you run. But I have a friend I grew up with, and he always took everything in the fight. But he always got the Christmas. You know? But he always took everything in the fight. And what ends up happening is that you just get looked at as being serious. Do you understand? Oh, oh, oh, are you angry again? Are you angry again?

You become a very pathetic type. But in regards to the pathetic type, Henrik? Have we connected all the threads we've put together? Or have we tied things together? Have we filled up the things we've put together? What's important, Henrik, and how I like to approach sound and sound, is that the audience should be able to connect things together. I have news for you, buddy. Don't teach me your...

I was in showbiz when you were in ballroom in Berlin. So I slapped your face. Alright, Henrik. I have nosed it up. Or not nosed it up, I have found out some news where the male role is very, in a way, a problem. Just before you continue, how many people do you think are listening to the podcast and are finally taking the man's problem seriously? This was useful.

This podcast was incredibly useful. I think it's very few. But you know what? We're going to work. Because what's important, Henrik, is that they need to know that they're not alone. And as soon as this becomes a small community and a small hub, one day we will have a live podcast at a place, and we will have a lot of men with jogging pants and sweatpants

that will come in for free, because we don't take tickets to be there. And maybe it will be a Saturday council for people who are struggling. Then they call and they can just sit here and fuck their legs. Now it's all dark. We'll get Sivir Vellet, Dan Bittroy and Pimp Lowsen to make a panel. I'm ready to be a guest. We have to fit in. What do you mean you're ready? You said you slept with so much tape around your mouth. No, not slime. I have tape from the mouth tape. You played with slime.

Okay, we can't be... We have to be careful. We have to be careful. It's a very dangerous landscape, I think. And the problem you notice is that this man's song is actually so lucrative. So every time you see people get into this so-called grifting, when they start saying what they want to hear, and then you can just do it with a dress on and a bow tie, then you can get really excited. Before you hear a word of it, you completely miss your real perception of them. And you're like, no, trans or not? Trans or not? And if it's not, they try to make our kids our dick, right? It's completely crazy.

There's a very good balance between the half-dudes and the proud boys. We have to be... We have to be in bed all the time, and be careful to be the half-dudes. Follow me when I do something, Henrik. Happy Pride, folks. Happy Pride, you guys. Happy Pride. We really have to go to Pride. Let's go to Pride, too.

We have to. Unfortunately. We have to. We can't risk being taken. We have to go to Pride. We go to Pride. We represent men. Men are in this thing. We go over go to Pride. We go to Pride and represent men. Men are in this thing.

We go to the half-banan banner. We go to the half-banan banner in Pride. I promise. There is a research minister who has been out in the city since the beginning of May you were out with your expedition chief. What the hell is that? It usually was someone who led the expeditions. Yes, but not really. Like Amundsen or Nansen. But... Maybe this expedition was a city tour? Expedition? Maybe it's some kind of... what's it called? Secretary-like role?

It's very funny that no one has asked what the hell is an expedition chief? We have to find out, I'll google it. But what is special is that the research minister has clung to the expedition chief on the outside. So the research minister has clung to the so-called expedition chief. And she is a woman. Woman and man. And the research minister is a man. So he is the chief in a way.

A chief of the cleaners with a And the thing is... I think you can never do so much as a little cleaning without your doctor. That's what I wanted to bring up. I understand if you're messing with someone in the office. I understand if you're messing with someone at the office. I understand if it's... And we men have always been messing with our secretaries. It's been our privilege, dude. We've been drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes and we've been messing with our secretaries.

And now I can't fucking get away with it. With the city's expedition chief. I think it's the secretary. A new title for the secretary. Fuck. I think it's the secretary. A new title for secretary? Damn. That's what we should talk about. If you're with your employees, I understand that you have to say like, You know what, Monica?

Monica Lewinsky? You know what, okay, okay. Or you try to pull yourself together and then you just have to come to the floor. Or like Trump with Stormy Daniels. As you say, all men in power have been victims of this. But what has happened in Norway now is that you are so careful in all these things. And now I didn't know that there has been something called a clean ban. Yes, but I understand how you want it, but he is the boss, so it can be problematic.

It may seem voluntary, but it's because you're a bit afraid of the consequences if you take a no. Yes, and really don't be embarrassed. And we're going to Pride. And don't be embarrassed. Of course it's not good. It's power in a relationship that is that it was such a big thing. That it is a bit new. We have to try to get into this. What was it? The problem is partly in that the clinging and power relations

are not so good nowadays. 50-50 with everything being filmed. Everything is being documented. So a little... This could have been arranged internally. Maybe those two could have said it. It would have been damn nice. I loved the time we had together. But we can't just stand here and watch it.

Now the Rock'n'Roll time is over. The trust is out. Now we have to try to calculate. But what happened was Monday afternoon, the evening post wrote that research minister Odmund Hoel from the Center Party clashed with a member of the knowledge department after a conference dinner on May 7th. The member is the chief of the expedition, who is the highest rank in the department. Oh, well, yes. It's the same rank as the rest. In status? I think so. Hoel's chief, the minister of state Støre, was first informed about the events on May 29th. – King and Prime Minister, it's not as bad. The power relationship wasn't as big as we feared.

– Hoel says that this shouldn't have happened, and he already realized the day after, and Støre was very out and thought this was not good. And here comes what I wanted to start with, because here is a ban on cleaning. Støre has previously been very clear on what he thinks about cleaning between the state and the employees. Is it okay for a state council in your government to clean with an employee a job employee asked NRK yesterday. It's not okay and it's been done completely. And I have to be honest, this cleaning, which has gone completely past me in the present. It's very sad if I forbid cleaning, just like that, totally. I think so too. I think cleaning is the chief of staff and the minister of science, then it's madness that they should get past it.

And if it's a clinging, then kissing is also a way. Do you go under clinging? Or do you have to be like in meetings with Jonas Gars, the bigger one, he has has to be like, but what is the tongue? What is the tongue and what do they do in more than three seconds? Exactly. You have to specify what the clinging is. Yes, I know. I think sex and clinging are very clear. It's penetration, or you have done, it's the sex organs that are involved. But clinging?

It would be much worse if he was taken, if he was taken straight to the bar and beaten up. Yes, and they beat him up at the bar book. And then people say, yes, that was inappropriate, because other people were in the bathroom and it was very strange to do that. It is clear that so many inappropriate things have happened over the years. That we have to be very careful, but we have to forbid kissing and kissing completely. That everything should be closed away. I don't feel the dynamics between the two. I don't know how aggressive the first part was.

But it's a pity. Imagine if we took it from them with a really romantic prince and princess Disney moment. Yes. That they, like, towards all odds, they found each other and they just, they understood that it was us two. And then it started to fall apart, out of pure love, and then just, hello! And the bridge is raining and it becomes a big upheaval and such. Imagine how lovely that is. Every time you see someone cleaning in the city, it's always someone who cleans like a casual person.

When I see someone cleaning in the city, I'm like, hey, get a room, because this is too hot to have among us now. You have it, it's boiling too much here. Find a room, do it properly. But we're going to Pride. We're going to Pride, and we're going to clean with dudes. But we're going for pride. We're going for pride. And we're going to get along with dudes, and we're going to get along with you.

We have something else, Henrik. There will be other developments in the episode, but if this gets too hot, I will be willing to be a bull to the fox. Yes, but it's shit. Just to have a counterweight. And I will be willing to be a bull to you, fox. We'll see about that. If you first do that, you'll have a black dick, so you can be anti-racist and... It only takes 20 seconds of my life, and I have both of them.

I would sacrifice that. How can I be racist? I've been fucked up by Jørnus. I've been fucked up. I was racist. I was a jerk. I was a jerk. I was a jerk. I have another thing to say, Henrik. And that is the whips-ran thing. Have you got it? No. I am usually quite eager to read a lot of material, but this I have not got. You can not say usually. This is episode 1.

That's true. So people will recognize me, and you have not understood me at all. I'm clapping now. Tell me about the Vipshaw. The Vipshaw is that there have been some young people around the city who have moved around from Helsfyr to I don't know, completely to the geographical location all the time. But they have been around the east side, or the center of the east side.

And then they have been raiding kids. Kids with raiding kids. But they have raided them in a way where they walk away, talk to them. And then they get them to whip them money. Yes. So that was the first part of the whip run. That they have done it. So they whip me 200 or I kill your mother? Now we stand around you, we bang up the whip, take up the whip and whip us.

And without the white jacket, it seems that I was very used to it. Now we stand around you, we bang up the whip, take the whip and whip us. And without the white jacket, it seems I was very used to that thing. But I don't know exactly what kind of dialog it was. We can understand the circus. And then the police have been out there, there are a lot of whips from them. So we light up these youths, they fly up under this youth in the east, no, criminal and all that. And then it's criminal, so they don't get up. It is criminal, you know.

But they have stepped up a bit, because it wasn't so hard to find out who... We whisper to Henrik flat set and say, Okay, Henrik, let's go and help you, just give me the money. But what has happened now is that they have stepped up to a level where they have, for example, taken and got youth to show their saldo and then they go to the mini-bank and then they take out money. Then it turns out that these youth crimes evolve when they start. And there is a problem now that you see with youth crime. And I have seen a lot of myself.

I have been to the east side and seen some kids. It's not that they are criminals on the east side and not allowed to avoid it. But it's just that they get some backing, some support, some football fields, some football clubs, some football activities, a lot of poverty. And in that vacuum, there will be people who are willing to earn money in other ways. And the result is seen in Vipsrad. And then I wonder Henrik Flatset, when you hear this as a proud white man from Oslo, what do you think? I think it's the youth crime of Oslo 11 we have to live. It's... But... I don't know.

There are disturbing reports about how extensive youth crime actually is. I haven't really gotten into it, but I understand that you're not completely sure how extensive

it is in its historical context. But I'm totally agree with the underlying things that lead to that type of lack of free time clubs and activities and everything you say. I don't know, I don't have much more to say than what... We have to solve it in a way that we actually do, but I don't know why it doesn't happen... Why do you continue? I don't have much to say about it. I can't do enough about it. Oh, I'm very informative and such. I just give the opportunity to chime in on some politics I saw in the news. This is the most difficult one. I could talk about it. You are from both teams. Were you a youth who was more into the East than into the National Theatre? No.

Or were you in the East when you were younger? I'm from the East side, actually. Are both teams in the East side? Yes. I didn't know that. It's the East side. How far East is it? It's pretty bad. The North is the West side of the east side. I didn't know that. It's east, so to speak. How far east is it? It's really stupid. The north coast is the west side of the east side. But I wasn't very...

It's more the Holmenkollen and the west side. They are very afraid to go further east than the National Theatre. We weren't quite there, but we lived a screened life. It was a screened upbringing. It wasn't much to be worried about. And why is this relevant, in terms of the male role, you ask? Because this is men. This is men, of course.

Young men. Young men who don't find their way in society. And it's also very difficult. Are you out of it? What do you think? No difficult. Are you educated? What do you think? No. No. But did you try? No, not that one. I took some simple subjects on the blind eye just to see how it was. Was it on the blind eye? Yes, I took asthi-ty and some social anthropology. What is asthi-ty? Astrology. Not astrology in front of my face.

I got to see… Did you do it in astronomy? Yes, I have seen so many documentaries and read about the things. I read a lot before the exam and it was good. And then I read about some eye cultures in Melanesia, Micronesia and Shuai. But I have the only one. But what kind of person were you when you went out blind? I haven't had any previous trips.

I got a scholarship and did the exams and then I got a scholarship, and then I did the exams, and then I went on a backpacker tour. Yes, where? Thailand. Where in Thailand? I was actually going to Cambodia and Vietnam, but time flies, you know. I was in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I was in Kuala Lumpur on Christmas Eve alone. You were?

Yes. You? Woke up and was on Tinder. Youur on Christmas Eve alone. You were there? Yes, yes. You? Woke up and was on Tinder. You were on Tinder? Yes. In Kuala Lumpur? Tinder was brand new. I had bought myself a bottle of good cognac and tarred and was on a hotel room in India

Town in Kuala Lumpur. India Town? India Town. So in Chinatown just Indie Indie or something? I had booked a hotel and I thought it was the same place I was in. It's very, very... You have Chinatown and India Town and it's an incredibly big city. And I just happened to be in India Town. There was the hotel. I thought, drive me to this hotel.

And they weren't direct. They loved me. When I walked around on these breakfast markets, I got a drink with curry blend. Why not? They didn't think I was cool. You weren't a tourist with money in your pocket that would contribute to the economy? I felt that. I was young and naive, so I had an impression of Indre as a fantastic guy. I was like, please come here and sit down and take the butter dough. They gave me a moment of silence. They didn't think I was cool.

But anyway, I felt a little lonely. I came on Christmas Eve. So I started a Tinder, talked to some ladies, got in touch with one I really wanted to hang out with. We agreed to meet on a date on Christmas Eve itself. And she had something going on. She had to visit her friend in a hospital, and it was so exhausting. I thought, this is not something I would be interested in. If there is a sick friend in a hospital, there is always money that needs to be spent. I'm a fruit-lover. That was the only thing I had.

That was the only thing I had. It's so funny, but more hot than you are sure. She looked so damn nice, and she looked so damn cool when we talked like that. But she sits in a bar far out in the evening on Christmas Eve. And she is too sluggish. I sit alone in a whiskey bar in a bar. It was Italian restaurants, Spanish restaurants, barbecue restaurants, a street like that. I was at the whiskey bar and the time was... she was from Sinka, the time was 12 and there was a Merry Christmas with fireworks and people were hugging each other with fireworks, and I sat there alone there. And then she comes in, like 20-30 minutes before bed, and is completely comfortable.

And we sit, and I am, it is very cozy, we get a drink and the tone becomes damn good. And then, and then I haven't traveled in a long time, so when we are going to go, she says Henrik, why didn't you tell me? You are so tall. This was actually a joke, I had it. And then I said, what should I say? And by the way, Maria, I'm a tall guy. You can't see it, you can't see it because I'm sitting down. But actually my upper body is pretty sore compared to my legs. It's legs that... Anyway, we move on and we go out and party. And we dance and we climb on the outdoor and it's a really good atmosphere.

I go back to the dorm I lived in and it was a really good atmosphere. And this was Christmas Eve and it started really crazy and it was a good memory. I have a similar story Henrik actually. I was in New York, I was going to do stand-up this year. Same as you, I got really lonely. I thought it would be just a free program, but I arrived when there was a winter crisis. So I landed and it was state of emergency. Because it was so cold. People were lying in their beds and it was just a crisis down there. So I came in and things were closed and I just stayed in the apartment. And then I decided to stop taking weed breaks during that period. So then I just bought, I had to have the stimulus for it, so I bought a six pack with the Heineken.

And then I went home and sat alone. And when I was drinking some kind of glass bottles alone, and smoking cigs and watching NBA, suddenly I went to New York to be from Øst Pole, what the hell is going on here? So I just sat there and waited. And then I had been here for a week, did one gig, but without having been in the KKV. And then Christmas came, so I thought, now I'm alone, now I have to do something else.

And I'm not celebrating Christmas at home, but it was so extra lonely when you just see everyone having fun. So I went to a pub, which is called Piano, and then I went in and I thought, how am I supposed to sit alone? So I first buy a little beer, and then I see other people there, and then I'm like, hey! And then I try to get into a circle, but I get like a gay guy all the time, like, you're not part of this gang. And then I try another gang, and I get that annoying guy on the time, like, you're not part of this gang. And then I try another gang. So I get that annoying guy on the outside who tries to make friends.

And then I give up, and I think, just be cool. So I buy him whiskey. I remember I asked, can I get whiskey on the rocks? I was going to do that scene from the movie. So I hold my whiskey and I drink a little. And before I say anything, the lady comes in the door. It's almost like a movie where she opens the door. Her name is Belle.

Her name is Belle. And she walks right past me. She's an Australian, 45-46 years old. And she just says hi. And she says hi, and she understood. If there's one person who's responsible for this conversation, it is him. She understood something weird. Yes, but she was... I understood it, but I think back, she looks like she is the mother of my friends.

So I sit there and she asks what I drink. I and then she buys a double of that, and then I ask her what she drinks, she says tequila, and then I buy two tequilas, and then I have to go to the toilet. And she drinks tequila, that you're sitting with... What did you say? She drinks tequila that you're drinking whiskey, in a glass of tequila. No, she wants to have a shot with tequila. It's a red light, it's a red light. She drinks tequila like that. But everything about her was our lamp. And what happened next was that she told me that she was in the city, her son, who is as old as you, Cirka, got married yesterday.

So we are in New York, and celebrate and blah blah blah. And today it was boring, I just wanted to go out and have a beer so we could meet new people. And totally Baby Reindeer. Totally. So what I do afterwards is that I get like this, nice, and then I go to the bathroom. And then I go down to the bathroom, and then I go down to the bathroom to close the door, and suddenly there is a foot standing in the door. And then a bell comes in, and she didn't hear that I was going to the bathroom, she heard it like this, wink wink, I'm going to the bathroom. So she goes down and then she starts to do things with me on the bathroom, which I was like, okay, Jørnäs. You were possessed by the grayest.

I was possessed by the grayest. And then I thought, you know what Jørgens. You were judged on the gravest. I was judged on the gravest. And then I thought, you know what Jørgens, this girl has experience. She knows her stuff. She has abused young boys before. Trust the process. So I thought, trust the process. So I go out afterwards and then I go up and then they say, I have a hotel room right over here, would you like to come to the hotel room?

And then I go over to the hotel room there And things happened to me that day, Henrik, and I was like... One of the first things she did to me was she turned me around. She turned you around? As if you were a baby? She got me on all fours. She got me on all fours. And then she gave me my first rim job.

That day. She washed you with water, you know? She washed me. Rims you and then took out a towel on you. It was the next thing she did. With cold water. Buddy, I tell you. She did things with my body that I have never experienced before or after this. And I was like, this was an honor.

It was nice to be known. I went home from there as a new man, where I have learned things like... That you dare to put my cruel lump history so in a hidden way. No, but it's not that hidden. You just kept some details. I did. Because I'm a family man, I can't say the roughest... I could have said the roughest things. And I actually value coming back to my story. Because it's pathetic. I value it. You value it, and you can value it as she wants. Today's episode is over. I'll tell you a little bit more about what she did.

She waved me and washed me with rain. And I remember one point, I sat down, like a woman who gives birth, with two legs up like this. I sat like this. And I even her several times, Thank you, Belle! Thank you, you're welcome! When I was in Australia, I tried to make an Australian song. Thank you, Belle! Were you most afraid and frustrated? I was most into... Have you ever experienced...

Have you tried to play the piano, for example, and suddenly you meet someone who really knows the piano, and then you see them and you are like wow, now I just see and learn and just be amazed. She was a master in her field. And I had also thought in my head that there is a chance that I can meet a guy out here, and he goes, hey man, hey, and then he's cool with me and then it's like, where are you from? Australia. What's your mother's name? Belle. Well, guess who fucked Belle. I had a comeback in my head. But you have to rap. It was the day you grew up. The day I grew up! And there is a lot of arm and leg in this podcast. We will refine it, each season.

We will see how we can solve it. We haven't got any mandate to solve anything. We will try to solve it and try to answer questions. So if you have questions or things you are wondering about, send it in. For the first time, you can send it directly to me or Henrik Flatseth on Instagram. And then we will make a proper official inbox later. But, welcome everyone to episode 1. – I'm called Flatti Ny on Instagram. – Flatti Ny. – Flatti Ny. – My name is Jonis Josef, I'm an English teacher. – We can't, we have to. We should have had an email like this already now. don't have it now. Now we have a lot. No, but I think it's nice to talk to listeners.

I agree. So thank you for listening. Join the journey. Recommended podcast to a friend. We'll talk next week. Yes!