Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Adam Sandler’s 60th + Flight Strategies

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

Dana and David are discussing the 49ers/Rams game and the ramifications of jet lag, Adam Sandler’s birthday, and Chris Rock’s new movie “Misty Green”. Also stunt work, squatters, and Buzzing Around.

No one's allowed as anything bad against the NFL if you're in it. Even the sports cat ESPN, you're like, please say it sucks to go over there. And like, I think it's a really good idea to go to Bulgaria. You're not going to send football teams to Zant? I'm not here. I'm not here. It wasn't my stuff. It wasn't my stuff. It wasn't my- Drop something, now hiring.

I have probably three different stuntmen. Why? We don't know. Well, because you don't move the way you used. I have one for eating. I'm so creaky. You should do the movie. You should do it. You should do it.

It bombs. Mark, you tell me to do it. Hey, at the end of the day, nobody put a gun to your head. Dana. Who is it? We're hot off the presses. D-Speda Square here with my hair freshly scraped out of the shower. Wow, your hair's got better since you've headed.

Do you like it today? Because I just washed it. I don't know. It depends on the day. Like, if you talk to me in two hours, I might love it. Yeah. By lunchtime, I might go, huh. I'm in my dingy.

room with my Aspen shirt on. Don't be jealous. It's fine. Don't be jealous of my. No, it's fine. Oh, final. You got a lot of shit. Quickly in sports.

Yes. I have the Rams defense in one of my fantasy leagues. Don't ever. My 49ers are forced to be reckoned with it. I'll just say it. Oh, that's right. You're a 49ers. How gross.

Oh, my God. But they did good. And did you know the strategy. of playing, first of all, the overall thing of the NFL, everybody wants to be worldwide. You know what I mean? Because the World Cup, so they want to make football, and the commissioner, I think, said that American NFL teams

will live overseas. Like, they'll be the Barcelona. Yeah, that's great. I'm out. Busters. The, I could do some rude jokes. I'm skipping them. Save them for Vegas.

Yeah. We'll get to Nikki and Vegas, Caesar's Palace gig that we, I just got back from. Okay, so the Rams play the 49ers season opener, I think. It was on Netflix. They did in Australia, in Melbourne, in a 100,000 seats sellout stadium. I know. You act like you didn't know anything about it. Okay, so they did that.

You're talking about travel airplanes. Well, okay, the big thing they're coming under fire for, which they wouldn't if they won, was the 49ers went eight days ahead to get acclimated, and the Rams went the night before. Okay. And so they just said, let's just, we're tough. We're a football player. Just land, go, fight it out, sleep on the way home.

Well, what were they doing? What were they doing the previous seven days, just training in L.A? I think they're playing grab-ass and gold-bricking. Did they understand jet leg? Do they understand? They don't. time zones and I'm doing this because I don't think they do understand. I don't think they get it. I don't think you get it. Do you have lay flat seats? Well, my 49ers have Debo Samuels back,

so probably no one's going to beat them. But yeah, that's really, really dumb. The team was exhausted. That's ridiculous. Yeah, I mean, I think it hits you. I've been, Australia and it's like you go on and then you try to sleep then you wake up and you watch a movie then you go back to sleep then you watch two more movies then you watch a series 18 episodes right then you sleep then you do your calisthenics and then I get out and do uh toe touches in the aisle yeah and then I'm always stretching on a plane too and everyone thinks I'm fucking bananas no you got to get up because if you just sit that long then you get blood clots I don't get in the And I go, get up, get up, get busy.

Yeah, you get up, hey, I'm David Spade. I just played Vegas. You know, I saw my first Australia flight when I went there for the Jew? What, I did you say? I think I told you, didn't I? I think so. The crock hunter? The crocodile hunter.

Yeah. Before he died. Yes, there's other people following in the footstep. The lizard grabber is a guy that grabs lizards lizards, Not as dangerous, but lizard grabber is huge in Australia. Now you have to do one now. Snake grappler. That's a guy that wax off.

I said, the lizard grappler. I know. I couldn't beat it. The ant stomper is a guy. Some people think it's cruel. The ant whisperer. He goes, break away from the pack. You look stupid doing what they do.

The mosquito lover. He tries to save mosquitoes. I think my mom got West Nile. the way, didn't it? That's a mosquito. It's so West Nileland, Phoenix? Come on. Come on. Cockdale, they go in the nice area. Scott Who? Scottsdale was a nice area. So anyway, the My Niners won. That's crazy. They probably won't do it again.

Fuck, the Rams got beat like a narc at a biker rally. Okay, that's a total in town, you know. All these rugby fans out there waiting for them to take their helmets off and play like real men. Let's get. a big pile with our short shorts on and see what sexual orientation we're from. Hey, we're going to, the NFL's going international. I can't wait to play the Zanzbar Zebras. It is true, though.

They play these teams and even the NFL players, you know, no one's allowed to say anything bad against the NFL if you're in it, even the sports cat ESPN, you're like, please say it sucks to go over there and like, I think it's a really good idea to go to Bulgaria. I just feel like an 18-hour flight, see the sides. It's really like a bonding event. Yeah, I think the main, I really think the main thing to remember is that everything you're watching, basically, everything you're seeing, everywhere you go, that thing is a business. So when something is a business, the overarching thesis is get more cash.

So you're not going to send football teams to Zant. I'm not here. I'm not here. It wasn't my stuff. It wasn't my- Drop something, now hiring. I thought it was ice going to bust you first. Some arc-out thing. You know when you're in a comedy club

and someone drops a plate of dishes, you go, now hiring. Everyone goes, Wah. Heather like that one. God, Heather's on fire. I know, Heather's fucking delirious. That's why.

You know, what I'm going to do at some point is do a secret overnight flight. You can't find Heather. you can't find Heather and then all of a sudden she shows up in my area. I don't find her. You show up a Dana's house. She'd love it. Do you have a sister, Heather?

She'd go hang out with it. She does have sisters there. But she wants to play with your horses for sure. They're magic creatures. Not exactly sea biscuit out there, but it's fine. Yeah, okay. Maybe just partially a biscuit. I think dinner roll will be the next Kentucky.

Derby winner. That's funny. Let's see. Chris Soint. Well, I actually, you'll like this because the little one, the boy, yes. His, he, when he lays down in the dirt in the pasture, he blends in. So he's sort of yellow.

Adorable. So I started calling him Dirty Dan because also he kind of, he's such an excited little kid that he's jumping up and down on the Eeyore horse. Eon. And kind of going crazy. I go, dirty Dan, but Paula didn't like that name. Now, Dirty Dan's good because names should sort of come by personalities. Well, then, you know, he's also very adorable.

So we call him adorable Andy. Your idea, not my idea. D&D for D. Don't stop the podcast. A black shirt. It was sitting maybe on this. I have to show you something. So it was Adam's birthday on a set of,

Heather Hines or so. It was Adam's birthday and the set at his 60th birthday. He's not, Adam Sandler is not 60. I know. And that funny. Adam Sandler is dried out turd. It's 39.

No, he looks good. He looks good. He's got his hope. And cool beer. So for his birthday, the whole cast and crew dressed up like him, you know, that's a good, easy one that everyone can kind of figure out. Well, what, yeah. Are they putting on beards, though?

Or they're just wearing the bag of clothes? There were two beards on two girls. Yeah. Good call. Huh. Okay. Well, I like that image. So how many people were dressed as Adam?

Like at peak? Like 100? Probably 90%. But 100 people? I mean, maybe 100 people. Yeah, it was the cruise probably. Yeah, we were all in because it was the whole cast in this big scene. So that week, this whole week was one scene where we were all in and doing coverage of coverage.

And so a lot of basketball shorts. of aviator nation bright colors popping orange I'm telling I think Adams done very well with his career and finances and everything but the Adam Sandler collection yeah would blow up the world because it's the most comfortable clothes you can wear it's really just wear whatever you want and then one day it'll be in style I think he got lucky he's like I do what I want I took shit for it for 10 years now I'm at the Met Gala but but it was pretty fun and And then he gave, it was his birthday. Of course, he's not all about his birthday, but you can't really escape.

No, he didn't. No. All there already, like it's a party already. So someone had a mariachi. You know he's kind of going, oh, boy, there was a video. Oh, they had a pop a shot on the set. I had a running gag with Sandler about his birthday. Is this sort of a trick I play?

Oh, you play them high? So I like, no, I play him low and then he has to correct me. I go, I go, wow, happy 56 birthday, man. He goes, Garvey, I'm fucking 60, Carvey. Don't do this to me. No, I think you started Esson. You go, Adam, you're killing it. You're 24.

You're out there doing all these gigs. Oh, it started then. Yeah. And then he goes, I'm 28. You go, oh. You're 28. It's still good, though. I guess I'm kind of a dick, basically.

Carby's undercut maneuver was pretty funny at us and now. Yeah, I had a lot of. passive aggressive sabotage. You sure he can do the sketch that way? Okay. Who might have said? Is that what you're wearing the sketch? Does that make sense?

Oh, well, hey, you wrote it. Oh, here's a shirt he gave me. He gave us some pictures framed, which was nice. And look at this shirt he is. Oh, that's the classic. That is the, that's the, that's the four horsemen. That's us at backstage at the amphitheater watching a. So those four guys in that,

picture. Yeah, that was at his show. Never did a movie together. The fact that we would all all four in that picture never did a movie together. That's true. That's true. I've been in, well, you know, we obviously would want to put Farley in these, but there was a display on first birthday of every one of his movies. Oh, there was a display of photos of all his movies. Oh, yeah. He doesn't, he has, he wears a Farley shirt in the movie. He always keeps it Is his character Adam Sandler in the movie or no? No. Okay.

But that's why, you know, it's a little blurry because, you know, he does these things that are just kind of a wink to the audience. Plus it keeps Farley going. Oh, I didn't see that. That's cool. Yeah, he had some stuff up. Anyway, and then someone put tables in front of his trailer. Of course, he doesn't want all his attention on him. He gets so much anyway.

So there's all these photos up. But it is 60 and we weren't going to do anything. We're going to go late. We've been going into the night. So that was fun. Your birthdays are gigantic. No, I used to do birthdays. How We Made Your Mother is the How I Met Your Mother rewatch podcast with me, Josh Radner,

and Siri's co-creator Craig Thomas. Well, our guest today is the great Bob Oden Kirk. I want to tell you, that cast, Allison and Kobe and Neil and Jason and you, you were so upbeat and gung-ho, the spirit that you guys are. had was like, I actually thought it was like, are you being, are you mocking this? Are you being sarcastic? Follow how we made your mother wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, I will tell you this. I went and saw Rock's movie. Chris Rock has a new movie. I know. I think you're going to like, yeah. I like the premise. Give me the premise. Misty Green. Misty Green is the movie. Right. It's at the Toronto Film Festival.

I think this weekend or next. And I liked it because it was a, it was a little bit of a, a, had departure for what it's about Hollywood right well I thought it was just when he talked to me maybe a year or so on our podcast he said I'm thinking about a movie where it's a girl that has a sugar daddy and then a guy cuts her off what do you do what do you do you're living this semi extravagant lifestyle with no work and suddenly that's where did he get that idea I don't know just from Hollywood it's out there it's out there that's interesting and he did it and then it turned into kind of a drama.

Now I would categorize it as a drama. And so I went to see it with about 15 of us. And I was like, oh my God, this is good. Plus, I didn't really know what was going on. I'm like, I can't really figure out what's next. So I dug it. I mean, it's like, it's kind of surprising. Oh, it's surprising.

Oh, and then this will happen. And you go, no. But it's in Hollywood. In Hollywood, an actress in Hollywood. Who's also got a sugar daddy. Yes. okay and she gets cut off and the title of the movie just for people it's going to be out soon it's called the actress and the sugar daddy right that's the title that was a working title it's called

misty green which sounds like an old porn star i think chris said on our pie is it was going to be called sugar who sugar this sugar what daddy what sugar who daddy what that was one of the working titles. We have decided that the term sugar daddy is way more known than sugar baby, which is they call women that are taken care of. But I don't really hear that as much. Well, what about a sugar mama? Sugar mama, I've heard. Yeah, there's plenty of women who keep a young man around. That might be the sequel. But I just wanted to give that a shout out because it was good. I think it sounds very interesting. There's so much drama and intrigue in Hollywood, as you know. Yeah. It's definitely an interesting story that's kind of an underground type of story that on the surface, you don't know

these things are going on. Yeah, I have a idea for a movie, but I'll tell Sandler about it. Tell me. I'm friends with them. Well, I don't want to say it publicly because it, it, I just can't believe it hasn't been done. It's too good. It hasn't been done yet. I just can't believe it hasn't been done. You're like, it's so good. We can't do it. I can't let anyone do it. Yeah, I can't even think about it. I shouldn't even think. Oh, by the way, they put an article in Variety. And Chris, I've gotten this before.

Chris, you know, Chris. It's a cool article. It's about like the movie coming out. And he hasn't done press. This is like a big article about him. And on the cover it says, the comeback. And we're all like, where'd you go? Does it no one know who you are anymore?

He's like, I guess I guess no one remembers me and now I'm coming back. What? He never laughed. But it is kind of a dig tight. You know what I mean? They shouldn't say that. Everyone knows Chris Rock. There's no such thing as a comeback with Chris Rock because his base.

He's always doing something. His baseline is a global phenomenon standup. And then he can go, he's done tons of movies, directed him. But the comeback, I mean, was it two years ago when he did his special live at the, and we watched at the comedy store? Yeah. So that, that I call that. a silly title. It's a hokey title to anger some. It angered me. What would they, if I did anything, they'd go, they'd say some revived or, uh, yeah, we were laughing on. Back from the dead.

What if it said in small letters, do we need this comeback? Well, what was the rapper had a song code. Don't call it a comeback. Don't call it a comeback. I've been here for you. Who was that? Fluffy L.O. Cool J. El Al Kool dig. Don't call it a comeback. Fluffy. Fluffy. I've...

Fluffy G. Fluffy Chevrolet. I don't get the off, but easy E, dizzy Dizzy D, busy B. Busy B. Just B. Quizzy.

Oh, this rapper's out recently. B or not to be? Oh, I will say how I got burned on the set. I have probably three different stuntmen. Why? We don't know. Well, because you don't move the way you used. I have one for eating.

I'm so creaky. You're going to come off 28 in this movie, I know. No, I had to, I had to, well, for different things because we have different, you know, there's stunts here and there and they just go, they don't want you to do anything. But then they kind of make you do everything. Well, we got to get your face in it somewhere. They wanted to have you to do as, they want you to do as much as possible yourself. I basically do the whole stunt in pieces after they told me I'm not doing anything.

Yeah. So I'm standing at this, we're at this amusement park and it's a night shoot. and everyone's kind of leaning back. And I'm leaning, and one of the extras is a woman probably like, you know, 30, may or may not know me. She's standing there. She's running the operation, like the, you know, the ball throw. And I'm just leaning there, and she's behind it, but I'm leaning on it, so I don't really see her. And then she goes, hey, and she looks directly across me, and leaning facing me is my stuntman.

And so we're dressed exactly the same. And he looks like me. and she's like Hey, can I ask you a question? Are you the are you a guy in the movie or are you the stunt man?

And I go, oh, I go, oh, I'm a guy in the movie. She goes, you are? I go, what? Yeah, she didn't see the call sheet. No, because she's out of two of us, she's guessing. Do we have a picture of your,

I was going to show you a picture. He looks pretty much the same. He looks cooler. But the burn was, well, it seems the guy over there has more charm and charisma and you have the personality of a platter of piss. So why are you the star of the moon? So she's a very expressive first day. She was so floored because she thought it was going to go, I'm the stunt, man.

This guy over there is obviously the star. You can tell if I'm just looking at him. But she's looking at me like. You're the guy in the movie? You have a big, you have a big? She said, do you have a big part? I said, I have a, yeah, I'm in it a lot. She's like, oh, okay.

So she, A, doesn't know me, which is fine, but B, it got borderline insulting when she starts going. Because she could tell my personality was just flatline. She's like, so do you, you don't need any star qualities anymore to be in one? I know, that's a good. I'll send you the picture on the chat. She seems kind of critical. This is her on the set. This is Station 7.

We have an imposter here says he's in the movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't look like he's a movie actor. By the way. He's not funny at all. Send help.

Exactly. She knew not enough to even not. She thought I was just another extra, I think. But I was dressed like the other guy. So she knew I was somebody. And then, but the funniest terminology is Farley's dad. He used to say, you're still going out with that. ginger and Chris goes.

No, we broke up. Ah, good. She had the personality of a platter of piss, if you ask me. Oh, I see. Isn't that a hilarious term? It's so fucking rude. I get this sometimes. Someone will creep up to me at some event and go, hey,

are you somebody? Are you nobody? Are you nobody? Yeah. Are you somebody? You seem like a nobody. No, I'm nobody. Do you know David Spade?

Nobody knows David Spade. He lives in a castle. Did you ever give you a great idea at Adam Sandler? You're like I haven't yet. Yeah, and it's not for me. I have a part for you and I have a part for Heather. Greg does a cameo. But yeah.

You better get a part to Chris Rock. He's making a comeback. Come back from what? I know. Chris, I go, Chris, I see how you gave yourself a, Nice, juicy little parties. I know what I'm doing. I think it's, well, I think it's very cool that Chris does all this stuff, you know.

And it's good. He's been working on this one for a while. I think it was low money because probably $4 million. So it's not like a super flashy movie, but I think it'll get attention because A, it's a little bit of a twist for him to be in the drama. And I thought it was well done. And Chris wrote the screenplay? I think he co-wrote it, yeah.

co-wrote it and he directs it. Yeah. And he's a co-star in it. And the girl that's the lead, I don't have her name in front of me, but she's technically an unknown in quotes, which just means you probably haven't heard of her.

I do see the pictures. She does a great job. Don't she? We're not supposed to show it? Oh, sorry. I mean, I don't think we're allowed to. No, my screen was blurry. Don't worry. We can cut that part out with. There's a thousand fingerprints under the screen.

Oh, geez, I'm so glad I didn't show the picture, but yeah, you guys look like, We'll pixelate it, even though no one cares at all, but they're like, Oh, no, that's, that's, the Pentagon is being notified. No, we get a, we get a email once a week, hey guys, remember, obviously someone screwed up. No posting anything about the movie. Is this movie going to be a smash? Am I talking to someone who's going to be in a movie that's going to top a billion minutes?

I mean, could this compete? Could this compete with the, with the wrong Missy? Well, I think it hopefully should because I don't know about minutes, but it has a quadrillion seconds. Well, let me just ask you a personal question. Please. Are you in this movie? Are you going to bring it? You will know me because, I mean, there's a lot of people in the movie, so it's spread around a lot.

But I'm definitely in a lot of stuff. And some scenes are like, let's go. Are you bringing it? I've brought it and I will bring it. We're about halfway to be honest. We haven't gone to Italy yet. Oh, man. I have I talked to 20 years ago and you go, oh, we haven't been to India yet.

I know. I want to be one of those people because everyone on Instagram is in fucking Italy or Greece and they're like. No, Italy is awesome. And, you know, the idea that you're getting paid to go do a cool movie and you get to see Italy. Just take a moment. Take a knee and go. I really have taken it in. I have.

Take a knee for a second. I'm over there in Jersey mics buying two bags of chips. I don't give a shit anymore. Look, I'll be honest with it. Italy, things don't work quite as well as they do it. With the air, things, you got to kind of. I've heard that bullshit. I've heard there's no Diet Coke.

I'm in a full fucking pattern. Guy, you and Trump with the Diet Coke. It's a Diet Coke. It's a Diet Pepsi World. and I'm getting sick of it. Pepsi's too sweet. Seek of a discrimination, yeah. Pepsi's too sweet.

You got to go with Coke. Well, I will tell you that I can't remember. But I'm excited to go. Oh, I was going to say you should come and say it's for the podcast. Then you write it all off. If I, yeah, I would do it just to just to scare everybody. Yeah, just come out. Hey, the Garth guy.

The Garth guy's here. Wait, why is he taken over the movie? The Garth guy's here? I just saw the G-G-G-G-Garth guy. Yeah, get a wig, slap it on them and have him run through in the background. And then you write it off, you take one selfie with me. We do the podcast, but we do it in different rooms.

Well, this is probably not fair, but I've actually been developing a parallel movie, and it's Kevin Neeland and I and love it. Love it. And it's not like your guy's movie, but it's called All Growed Up. And we're, you know, we're just at that age where we're really grown up. Things have changed.

Even more grown up than the other guys you've heard of. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea. We're going to call it grownups part four, but then Gervitt said you can't do that. Hey, listen. You can't take that right there. At the end of the day, nobody put a gun to your head. Geez, that should be.

Remember that one when he goes, you should do the movie. You should do it. You should do it. It bombs. Mark, you tell me to do it. Hey, at the end of the day, nobody put a gun to your head. God, it's a little, it's a little cryptic to use those guns. No one stuck a sword on your side. Yeah. No one, no one put a noose around your neck. It's your funeral. Nobody put a grenade in your pants.

When I did Caesar's last weekend, I got out of here and went and then came back. So it's a little beat up from that. But Nikki, Kyle Dunnigan, we all did Caesar. And, well, wait a minute. Oh, wait a minute. Because was Kyle Dunnigan the opener? Yeah, he's great. Well, because I read some of the reviews. You got great. You all got great reviews.

Reviews? Yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, I've read like 15. They're all good. Oh, good. They loved you. We had a good set, especially Saturday.

It was great. But they didn't know the name. And a few of them said in that opener was really good. Now I know. Kyle Dunnigan has an opener? I know. He just does it for fun because he likes to hang out. He goes out with Nikki a lot.

and he was uh yeah he's hard to follow because he's great i mean he's that's a that's a pretty he's not an opening act you know guy in the back the crew guy goes is this the guy that does bill mar i go yeah really please okay you're going to italy no one put a gun to your head a white guy catches a break okay oh please oh please it's kind of like lorne and and bill I have a similar. So I was going to talk to about crime in L.A. and about all the break-ins. I can't even talk about it.

Just there's no crime. There's no punishment. There's no nothing. Hey, man. You know. L.A. is almost pro-crime at this point. This is what, this is a big statements.

Don't think of. Well, it's, it's. It swings so far the other way of like, make sure everyone's great to the criminals and make sure. Here's the main thing. I like to go back to the core. So you try to dissect this for a second. I know you're kind of tired, but.

Yeah. Do you believe that all people are born? All human beings are born good. I feel yes. Okay. And because of situations, sure, things go bad. And I believe that they have to, it's a learned behavior. They have to learn to.

play well with others and learn to follow the rules. But if all people are born good, then if they're robin a grocery store, then society let them down because they started out good. Partially. That's the idea of making the perpetrator to the victim. It might be a little too sophisticated for this podcast. But you also know good from bad and there's things I do. You could make your life easy. but when I see the stores in LA and people are working hard, the difference is when I see people going to McDonald's on that small level and start pushing people around, knocking around, tearing up the fucking place, punching people,

and no one does anything and they leave because they act so tough, nothing happens to them. I want one of those places to put a sign-up says, we fight back because they're not allowed to do anything. But you're going to places where people are trying to have a job, trying to work, trying to do the, but the hardest thing in the world is drop the cool act and work. And then these people come in and want to fight them and act cool and film and it's just like, hey man, the people that have jobs are working or are trying are at a disadvantage because you don't want to disrupt your whole life. So you don't want to fight back. You don't want trouble.

Man claiming Hollywood on Vash may have been squatting. Yeah. The new thing is trying to break in and have parties at houses and then they're doing it in the valley and above sunset strip that they beat up people. They come in and they get in the houses. David, who is it? Someone's calling. They get in the houses. I don't know my... And then they either... They're just trespassing, so they just get a tap on the rest.

They don't even go to jail. Even if they break in the house. And then... But if they stay, they can squat. And then it's a whole other problem. You can't get them out. So that's a problem going on in town.

I know an actual story like this. I heard from someone who's... So this very successful producer, Hollywood Hills Home, think someone's... rings the bell, comes through the gate, comes in the house, unannounced to say, a dude, takes his clothes off and gets in the hot tub. Yeah.

So the guy's hot tub? Yeah, the guy goes upstairs, calls the police. The police come two hours later. Of course. Take the guy away. Dhab, da-da-da-da. Okay, thank you very much. Two hours later, from that, the guy's back.

Yeah. It was a misdemeanor. So the guy's back of the house. the guy keeps harassing him. So the guy has to move into a hotel in town. And I don't know the end of the story. Well, that's what's going on. I'm hearing a lot about that. And so they did an article about like, these people, because the cops just go, hey, they're distrustpassing, which in the old days, someone gets in your house or in your gate, in your front yard, or pounding in your door or trying to knock it open with a rock, you go, oh, I'm going to break their legs. This is an attack. This is,

But they said, no, you're in the wrong. You're in the wrong. This guy's in the right. And they don't even arrest if it's trespassing. They just say, not in Texas. Texas has a law called hold your ground. So if somebody comes in your house, you have the right to, boom. I mean, I like that better.

I mean, do something. But they just run the show. And like you said, they'll kick them out, but they'll come back. And they're like, they know the laws. So they're like, go fuck yourself. Yeah. When I do things like that, like I did break into your house in L.A. and I just, I squatted for about two days. They don't have to leave either because now it's your fault.

You've got to get a lawyer. You've got to find a way to squat that. And look at your buddy has to get a hotel. Like, what's, it's such an upside down cake world. I don't understand it. Let's bring the hammer back. Okay, I'll get worked up. Dana, I agree.

Let's do buzzing around. Everyone's clamoring. Everyone's asking. We haven't done it. They're starving. Mm-hmm. starving for it. Starving. Okay.

I'm going to this part. I have to read it to you. We do this every time and I'm not ready every single time. We're never, we're, this is, I'm just thinking of it right now. I have, I've kind of. By the way, no one's accused us of being over prepared for this. Well, that's the greatness of it. If it's, if it's bad, it's entertaining.

If it's good, it's entertaining. because it's not poured over or tried to make perfect. No. What I got a couple of your suggestions. What I want to do is have Christopher Walken and John Wayne and Walter Brennan talking about... Walter Brennan. He's the... I know.

Talking about AI. Yeah, you know that it's time for buzzing around, folks. applause, plaz. Sponsored by Five-Irower Energy's new. Caramel. Do you say caramel?

I say caramel. But it's caramel apple flavor. Dive into caramel apples straight from the orchard for a sugar-free fall treat.

Ooh, right in time for fall. Find caramel apple shots for a limited time online in www. 5Oenergy.com or Amazon today. And this is where

Dana has three characters and he does jokes puts him in a scenario yeah it does not it's most might be more interesting than a you know than funny what are you talking about okay here we are chris for walking is talking about the threat of AI oh you are to john wayne and walter breton so i i i don't with with buzzing around i don't show the pictures but for people at home that are watching us This is John Wayne. I'll allow it. I mean, and Walter Brennan was his sidekick.

Yeah. Well, okay, so first, Warkin's talking to him. Walkins, walking, talking. Don't know by AI. Taking over machines. Extinction. Taking out mankind. Mankind.

Mankind. Food fighters. I have a call. too, by the way. Oh, you do? You sound pretty good. Really? Give me a second.

Damn it. He shouldn't come on the damn podcast with a goddamn cold. You're getting all the puppets sick. Get the puppets. I don't know. Freed, scared, AI, hacking agents. Taking over. They're autonomous.

What can we do? They're autonomous? Autonomous. Autonomous. You say it. Autonomous. I like it. I just didn't know if I heard it right.

Well, I'm not, nothing. There's nothing an AI can do to me that my Winchester 74 would take care of. No, you can't shoot an AI. It's inside a computer. It's a little chip going around. Good point. Can't find it. Well, I'm not afraid of an AI.

Are you, Pappy? You're Duke. I'm scared. I'm scared. I can't understand what they're doing, Duke. Well, take it easy. Papi, don't make me do what I did last time. What did you do last time?

Yeah, what happened? Well, I don't want to talk about it. I'm just saying anybody who's afraid of an AI as a panty waste. Panty waste, haven't heard that in a while. You've got to be strong against this AI. Where can I get it and when can I shoot it? You can't, Duke, you can't shoot it. It's invisible.

It goes everywhere. Well, shut up, Pappy. You keep hitting that whiskey. I'll keep slapping you around. Christopher walking. What do you think? Well, got to be careful. These agents, they go rogue.

They go into another machine, take over. And AI agents killed themselves. Right, Trump? That's Trump. How do you do Trump now? You're tired of him. Okay, that was sponsored. That was buzzing around.

You know who really liked it? This guy. Sponsored by, oh, Mandami, he's happy about everything. Mondami's new caramel apple flavor. Carmel apple, five-hour energy shots deliver sweet and tart apple hits with a smooth, buttery, caramel coated finish. Treat yourself to a crisp apple bite and smooth. with Carmel Delight with a caramel apple,

5R Energy shot, only available online for a limited time at 5Oenergy.com or Amazon. Baked a cake, cut my finger. Wow! Yes, chef. Okay, now we'll go to stories. We've got time for a few more. Let's do a few.

What's in the news? We need a theme here or something. Oh, yeah, this has been a little played out, but you know what this is. This is the unruly passenger. who was a wreck this guy's life is f-uccade at this point i saw this don't see on a plane every day the two passengers had to duct tape this man to his seat when he i guess the funniest part is last night on american airman's flight 618 from dallas to newark yes because we don't get to see

the whole process of the tape on the flight back i asked if they had duct tape and they said we don't on the other airline they do so this airline has duct tape and i don't know why they have it but maybe it's for this but this guy'll sue him because the duct tape probably pulled his eyebrows off or something and he again the criminals the victim so well he also apparently um i don't know if this is true it's apple tv and he's in development for a show called duct tape man and um it's kind of like a superhero thing with duct tape he can you know i thought he can i thought he can only be held down by duct tape. I'm like, that's anybody, though. Well, I flew on a Scottish airline once, and, and a guy was all unruly and drinking. I'm going on here, you can't tell me what to do.

And they had to, all they had was scotch tape. And it took them, the entire. Is he Scottish? Yeah. So they did the exact same thing of it just with Scottish tape. And it took hours to get him really bound, you know. I like that that. You put that together. And then, I went that far away. Yeah, you put it together fast, though. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I did ask them other things, and they said, because the whole flight across my aisle, the window was open and it was a blazing, laisic light in my face, sideways, which is worse.

And they said, oh, we can't do anything. If you have the window, you have control of that. If you have the middle, you're allowed to have both armrests. Did you know that? I didn't know those rules. No, yeah. I bug some one on an airplane once. I felt bad about it because usually everyone's got the windows down, right?

Yeah. So Paul and I fly out of Hawaii and we thought it was going to be a smooth flight. There's two storms merging and our paths, so everybody get buckled in. They're about the fuck. So we're bucking and bucking and bucking and everyone's got their windows down. But for me, because I'm a nervous flyer, I would open up the window to try to see if we're hitting us, you know, a cell. Or if it's clearing up. Yeah. So I opened and closed that window for about five hours.

I never wanted you. No, no one said a word to me. I was quiet about it. But at the end of the flight, she goes, yeah, you sure open the window a lot, didn't you? Like a fucking strobe light. Oh, I'm sorry. Did that bar? You should have told me I would have stopped. Oh, I would have in one second. Yeah. Yeah. You opened into the lot. No, it's a wonderful thing to, you know, have the banging window notion, you know, played $2,900. All right, next one, next one. Thank you. Really got some good stuff. Definitely not the loudest.

Wait, definitely saved the loudest. Someone told me to need glasses. I'm like, these are one millionth of an inch high. The words. Oh, look at this kid. This is a feel-good story. Okay, kick this board, lady. Okay.

She gives a cute bow. Too cute. Did she break it? Yeah. She'll get it. Time to get her to kick it? Oh, she did it. Look at how excited.

I've never been this excited in my life. See, that's... Look, he makes her yell again. He goes, louder. Well, that's like it's a superpower. Like, she could knock over kids with it. Look at how funny. I know.

That's that age, she's probably two and a half. Oh, the Grinch has a heart. We like those ones. We mix them up with the... Too cute. I love the high pitch, and it is kind of like a superpower. power. Very adorable.

Reminds me of me. Well, what, hold on a second. Because my glasses, I don't have the right ones. That wasn't you? Yeah. You were the- I don't wear my hair in a ponytail. Yeah, I thought you just had a thing, or maybe it was part of grown-ups four.

Grown-ups, four. All-growed-up starring John Lovitz, Kevin. Growing up and starting to wither a bit. Over the hill. The back nine. What's wrong with a bit of gray? You guys got to do one when you're 90. Okay, next one.

Next one. We're on a roll, dude. This is unbelievable. Oh, this guy that thinks he can fight a chimp, I think he could win. You know why, Dana? This guy thinks he can fight a chimp and he's strong. But the chimp, here's my theory.

The chimp doesn't know it's coming. So you put him in a cage. He doesn't have time to get mad. He's just like, oh, a human. I clown these guys all the time. And this guy's going to hit him so hard, so fast. And it's a poor little chimp. Here, just play it.

Well, you'll get a field. Let me see. Let me see. We're about to witness a man fight a chimpanzee. So this TikToker made a video saying he would destroy a chimpanzee in a 1B1 and said, hey, give me 500. And he says. Now, this dude's about 5, 9, 510. Look at that, he is strong.

He's 200 pounds. He wrestles and grapples. And so after that video got close to 5 million views, he got an offer from someone. No, no, no. A chimpanzee. Now, he said he can't disclose what this is going to happen in. Never going to have. They even made a website and you can see right there, this is really going to happen.

They are giving this dude 500 grand to fight. I think he'll be in. Live on stream. Based off what he said, this chimpanzee was apparently attacking a bunch of people, was just a troublemaker and they were about to put this chimpanzee on death row. So instead, they're going to put him in the main cage. And we'll see how it fucking goes. I mean, this is just fucking insane.

I don't know if you guys remember back then all those debates, 100 men, Right. One gorilla, obviously a chimpanzee is nowhere near. It's very hokey. No, no, he doesn't. It's still a mismatch in my opinion. The one area where chimps are extremely strong is they're pulling, their grip strength. So he gets a hold of this dude's hearts.

Bro, he might be fucking. What? Okay. Look, the chimp's going to make him, put him in a chair and make him watch him. We don't know 100% if this dude's actually not fall through and do this, but if he does, he does, he's a fucking legend. This dude said he wants to feel everything. Okay. Well, first of all.

up about it. Chimpanzees are vicious. They're not cute. Chimpanzees, if you've got to get gang of chimpanzees, they will go over and eat the faces and destroy a whole other tribe of chimpanzees. And then they'll have their way with them sexually and they're tearing. They'll eat your face in a second. That guy, uh, hope it's worth it. I know. What if he gets his face eaten off on live TV? Well, then... Good. Heather says good. Well, because he's hurting a cute little monkey. Well, why fight a monkey you didn't start?

Well, why fight a monkey? It's just somewhere in nature. But if it's, they said they were going to euthanize the monkey for bullying the other, the other chimps. Yeah. That's what they say, a likely story. Jesus, the main thing you got to know is there's a consistent personality, you know. It's just, there's a chimp change, you know, they call it.

And they never do change. you know all I could come up with in the moment. What about the chimchidens? You used to say chimp change. Catchers mask around their face. What are those called orangutans? Oh, those, yeah. You know, those is like the weird one in Planet of the Apes.

She's like, I'm the wise old one with a weird face. The stuff that's on this planet, really, I just had three questions for the audience and do it in the comments. How did the Earth get here? How, what are we doing here with all these freaky animals and stuff? And what is the reason? What's our purpose? Don't ask that.

You'll go crazy. Just ride it out. Just three questions. I'm sure someone would give us a good answer. What do you think on Earth is actually an alien that we don't even notice or care? An octopus, they can change color, they can open things, they're smart. Like, why does it have to be a small gray or a tall gray? You have to say, aliens can be any of these weird things around us are in the ocean.

Well, aliens, this just depends on your point of view. We're aliens. Yeah, you're an alien. Yeah, you're the most alien. Most alien guy I've ever seen in my life. I've seen some aliens. Oh, my God. It's so rude.

Why is an alien a negative thing? You're just saying that because I'm so smart. You think I'm an alien. An alien could be cute and cuddly, like E.T. Or an alien can be like with Akila Kila. You know, an alien where Sigourney Weaver is in white panties trying to get in the space suit. And under her breast, she's going, A kill, a killer, a killer.

What does that mean? I don't know. I think she was just trying to psych herself up. She says that in the movie? Yeah, the alien's in the pod. She thought she's getting in her pod and getting away at the end of the movie alien. Oh, no, an alien in pods is worse. She's deadpots.

And she's getting in there and she sees the aliens just there. And she's panicking. So I think under her breath, she's going, Achilla, Killa, Killa, Killa, Killa, Killa. Because then he has to hit a thing where she can stay in the pod and the alien gets blasted out. Sorry. Sorry for all that information. So we have 37 ads to read.

Okay. You want to wrap it up? Did you think we had a good show? I do. I do. We covered a lot. We covered a lot. Plus we got next week.

And it's good to see you. But everyone watch this. Leave really nice comments. Have fun making the movies. Oh, yeah. Try to have fun. We'll see you at the movies. I'm going to get some popcorn and I'm going to the first matinee.

Oh, wait, it's on Netflix. Sorry. I'm going to get some popcorn and turn on the TV. I don't even know when it comes out yet. I'm going to have some popcorn ready for when it comes out. I'm going to put on Netflix, get the lights down nice and watch my friends make me laugh. Right after I watched the Philadelphia Eagles in Morocco. It's a peculiar American sport where they're playing in Tahiti at the height of the heat wave, all right?

That's a good thing. Maybe we should stay in the more temperate climates when we're talking about 300-pound linemen. The sire. The Mason Dixon. All right. Thanks, Dan. Bye. All right, listen, if you're enjoying the fly on the wall, of course, hopefully you are.

Click follow. We don't want to be desperate, but obviously smash that. god dang button on your favorite podcast app. Smash it. Leave a review, a good one. Leave a five-star rating, nothing else. Whoops. And maybe even share an episode with a friend.

If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please, subscribe, Dana. What do you think? I'm going to tell you this right now. Him and I'll believe me later. Fly in the Wall, believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey. And executive produced by Hold For It,

Dana Carvey and David Spade, or David Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't write those stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman, and Leah Reese Dennis. The show is edited by Evan Cox, with production support from Phil Sweet Tech,

talent production and booking by Sophia Lippor.