Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Bunny, Breakup, and Kanye's List
Episode Date: October 6, 2025Dana and David react to the Nicole Kidman–Keith Urban split, then David unleashes life-on-the-road tales, including why he swears off coffee. The guys confess their undying love for cigarettes befor...e they weigh in on Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl splash, wonder why Spade didn’t make Kanye’s list, talk celebrity group text chains, and debate whether AI actors are the future or a glitchy fad. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Just got back from Hershey, Pennsylvania.
Oh, that must have been sweet.
Boom!
Locked and loaded.
Hey, what are we going to talk about today?
Because we got to let anyone who just punch play or whatever you do, click on the little arrow.
What's coming up?
We're going to weigh in on the Nicole Kidman situation with her husband.
Way in on stories a week late.
Keith Urban.
What people don't realize is like the key,
the Jimmy Kimmel thing we talked about the day after and then it doesn't air sometimes.
It gets stuck because I'm on the road.
You're on the road.
And so.
Yeah.
They're like,
now you're finally chirping in.
And then they go,
by the way,
we hate whatever you'll say about it.
But you must talk about it.
I'm like,
okay.
Okay.
I want to start commenting.
I got to search the web tonight.
Just you must.
they're fuckers what they're shitty fight they almost explode some of these people uh most
but we love them i mean you know i'll do the whitney cummins thing i mean what good news is bad news
bad news is goodness if people are engaged and getting angry maybe it's a good thing or happy
they go off on tangents and fight each other in the comments which i'm all for uh yeah i just
got back from the road boring please don't explain it yeah what do you mean you are you you're
road warrior officially that's your new nickname I mean you go out there I get credit man I have to
say when I was doing stand up and doing like just shoot me or rules of engagement I never even
no one did really tours am I correct no one did like let's go on a tour um well you know there's
some comics there's comedy clubs which I was born and bred on for years and then you're there
you know five nights sometimes six nights in the comedian condo and now there's one nighter
in theaters whoops someone made the leap
sorry no now they go you're in theaters when are you going to do
arenas I go no no no no so on this one
arenas I'm doing um I just jumped on with Adam because he
has he has a couple of faba foo
ha ha he's doing a fit he's halfway through a 50 city tour I think
dude the guy I talked to him six months ago he goes hey you want to go
down the improv I have to start writing and
act and he grinds it out even between shows at dinner he's like what about this talking to the
other guys and that one guy plays keyboard dan bula who's a great writer and he's like what if
i switch this out for this and then they're just constantly tweaking and i'm over there like this
got any scalp potatoes because i'm more worried about dinner it's it altered your voice you were
so worried well look you have you have you you write verbal bits with a lot of
jokes, throwaways, and Adam, which I do a little bit of that too. It's a, it's like a,
it's a big entertaining performance. He's got Kyrons and he's got them in guitar. He's shredding.
He's playing bass. He's singing. He's doing patter. Um, so it's- It goes into the crowd. It's great.
He's got a spotlight. Anyway, everyone loves it. And he's got two, literally two semi-trucks.
It's like a whole concert. Like there's monitors backstage.
There's four TVs.
We went, first I went out there and met him at Mohegan Sun, Connecticut.
The fun part about that was one night, Letterman came.
Sometimes people pop in to watch.
Was Letterman just in the neighborhood?
I mean, I don't see.
Letterman came, and he did a quick interview with us after,
but he was mostly, I think, doing something with Adam for his new Jay Kelly movie coming out.
So David Letterman has a new Jay Kelly movie coming out?
No, Sandler does with George Clooney.
And then I think this is press.
And I think they're going to do an interview with Letterman.
Oh, maybe his Netflix show for your consideration.
Yeah, that's possibly it.
And he probably wanted to just say hello ahead of time.
Really fun to see Letterman.
And I should even say this because it's kind of Pat on the Back productions.
But guess what he brought out, he came my dressing, guess what he brought up?
Flying the Wall.
Something about the 50th.
Oh, yeah, the thing about here, I got the general gist, whatever, yeah.
That's very much in his vernacular.
That's very much.
He came in and he goes, there's been no better use for a cast member than to have you do a throwaway line from the audience.
And he said, just tell me how it all came about.
And then he also, when we were without a, he really loved the Sandler song, which everyone did.
That's like an Emmy winning performance.
moments right of cast members that are here or gone yeah yeah yeah and nicholson in the front row
and jack yeah that's it's it's it's great yeah dana back in l.a at beniggins or something not caring
at all yeah i was stewing in my juices and stewing in my juices no i saw it with my friends bow derrick
and john corbett you did yeah come on i can name drop fuck yeah my neighbors and friends and so we
watched it and we did it we did i knew at the moment when you did the line i go because that
comedians how hard it is to do like a throwaway line you're not yelling you're not emoting you're not
actually just it's just was so heartfelt because it is exhausting being there yeah you're saying i'm
over it sorely missed was dana even at this thing uh because you know obviously adams says you're
welcome on any of these shows of you're going to pop in i've been texting i just told them it's very
far and it's just data's very brittle um but i said i'm a dandelion i'm so fragile i'm more fragile than
you you're out there running and doing stuff but i like to hike mountains i'll be honest oh okay so
the same night taylor swift's dad of all people isn't that funny he came to watch at taylor
swift's dad okay that's that's one removed from the it's one removed the golden ring but yeah but we took it
And we accepted it.
Did you come backstage?
Super cool.
Went backstage.
Gave me a handful of Taylor Swift guitar picks.
Isn't that nice?
Could I have one?
I will give you one.
When I see you?
Heather, I'm giving you one and I'll tell you why after.
Wow.
Yeah.
I don't know why they keep comparing, you know, there's guys online and it's YouTube shows.
They're great, but they're like Taylor Swift versus the Beatles, you know?
And it's like, why put Taylor through that?
She's amazing for 2025, but there's only one.
Beatles. She would agree, I'm sure, but it's like Taylor Swift. She has so many stats that have never
been achieved before, but this is, you know, the globalization and all the social media.
You know, when you look at a band or even like they go S&L, when you're on there, you guys are
horrible. And then 10 years later, they go, oh, you guys are great. It just takes a long time
to look back at something, even movies, even things that they say, it just takes long time to
see if someone holds up for a long time. Taylor Swift, I'm sure, will hold it.
up, the Beatles held up probably more than anyone ever.
Well, I look at it like this.
When the Beatles left in 69, and it was just seven years of them, and then like nine
albums, and it was too much to process, even for the Beatles, too much.
And then over time, it's like a wave hit and is cresting, and it's still cresting.
Who sold the second most albums from 2000 to 2010?
Beatles.
Not the Beatles.
Beatles.
40 years later, M&M was number one by a hair.
I think they're still sell a million albums here.
So they're a singularity.
I'm not a grumpy old band.
They're the best because it was during my time.
You know, nope.
The evidence is there.
But Taylor Swift is amazing.
So, you know, if she'd come on this podcast, I don't, I want to apologize to Travis Kelsey.
You know what they call her fans now, Swifers.
Swifers, that's like a dustbop.
Why would I want to apologize to Travis?
Are you going to apologize to Travis?
Yeah, because for a long time,
I just referred to it as Taylor Swift and the football player.
That's not fair.
That's like a movie of the week on that lifetime.
He does fine.
It is a movie of the week on Hallmark.
They did do that.
You know what they're all doing and I don't mean them or it's just branding.
They create a clothing line and then they intersect and they brand.
I mean, the amount of money that entertainers are making
was it wasn't in our time.
You know, you weren't supposed to be a businessman.
A businessman is an asshole.
And now it's like, I don't know this money stuff.
Ryan Reynolds is on TV.
I watched TV for an hour and he wasn't on it.
And I actually called Comcast and they go,
I've seen Ryan Reynolds on TV.
Yeah, don't they have a mint commercial or something?
They do have a Ryan Reynolds block you can put on if you have.
But good on him.
I'm not jealous.
Next day, this boring story is keeping going.
Next day, Washington, D.C., the capital.
And we went to next morning, Adam and I went to a coffee shop.
And it was funny because here's my big joke.
It's like a long weaving line in there in a small coffee shop.
Yeah.
And I go, oh, excuse me, where's the front of the line?
Like we were going to, instead of the back of the line.
that's a good one yeah you get to cut in fucking crickets how does how do you how does
david and am adam sandler wait in a coffee line without people going hey could i get a picture
i will say walking there adam had nothing no sunglasses on or anything and uh it was a bit of a
unicorn sighting because people just walk by and they go so you know listen i'm an international
presence i'm not taking anything away from me adam is such a gigantic
mechanic star, that the people that when I went for a walk first that stopped me, it could
have been the same person.
They don't see me that when they see Adam, they just go, oh, and then they yell from cars,
hey, you guys, or they go, can we take a just picture from the car or they go to Adam and
don't even know I'm there?
They're just so lasered in.
That's all right.
Are you in our town?
And then when they leave, they go, oh, hey, this fucking guy.
So it was fun to see that.
You know, it was great, just to go for one-on-one.
because we're always with everybody, with everybody,
and it was fun to just go laughing bullshit.
Then we're in the back of the coffee shop.
I'm sitting next to this lawyer, Dominique, and her friend,
and they are giving us the lay of the land.
Adam's next to a five, three-year-old kid,
and he finishes Popsicle, and then he just starts poking Adam with it.
And he's going, oh, ooh!
And it took the kid a minute.
And then he started laughing hysterically.
This funny old man is like being good to it.
Yeah, Adam went with it, and the kid kept stabbing him.
and that was the highlight of that kid's life.
He doesn't know it yet.
And then I don't drink coffee, but I, we got that.
No super highlights there.
Next day, or that same day, we went to Hershey and we got a huge Kit Kat bar.
They gave us all these huge candy.
I can't really eat candy, but I can't eat sugar because I'm fragile.
You can't have coffee or candy.
No, I can have coffee.
I don't like it.
my third grade teacher had coffee and cigarette breath and I swore off it that's a real story
and scrambled eggs but I it was a such a sickening combo yeah she's like are we doing fractions
thing like so I always remember that and it's it hurt me down deep so now I go no coffee I don't want
to girls don't like me enough I don't want to add something like hey I have this three-tiered
sickening breath so I did cave on the
scrambled eggs did not
came on the coffee or six. But I don't
mind either now, like if
a female or someone
has coffee or cigarette, but that doesn't
throw me as much as my
fragility would tell you.
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Look, I smoked in fourth grade for about a year.
I'd steal Kent cigarettes for my mom's purse.
Candy cigarettes or real ones?
No, real ones.
She had Kent, Kent, K-E-N-T-E.
Fuck, yes, she did.
Oh, yeah.
Menthol, and then my brothers and I would go smoke,
and then we would eat ice plant to get it out of our breath.
But here's my point.
If cigarette smoking was not harmful,
I'd be smoking a cigarette right now.
Because nothing's a better emphasis than that.
Well, Spade, I mean, tell me more about the trip, you know.
I mean, nothing's cooler than the business of a cigarette.
Also, the business, you're always looking for business, which is a term when you're acting,
do something in their hands, move things.
It looks better if you're doing real life.
So if you're like this, you're like, listen to you guys, are we going to wind up going
to that show tonight or not?
It just looks like you're doing a real life activity.
Oh, yeah, that's like Philip Seymour Hoffman.
He's doing this while it's nothing to do with it.
He was so great.
I want to ask you a question.
Greatest movie
Smoker.
Let me go quickly.
Okay, here's a good smoking thing.
When you talk or you go like this, you go,
my brother does this to me, goes,
okay.
We're going to the movies, right?
And I agree on,
he goes,
what do we see it again?
You talk on the,
holding the inn.
Yes.
Okay, here's my cigarette one.
The cigarette smoker seems to only realize
that the smoke is annoying
when they put it out.
So they're like,
so anyway,
you know,
I'm feeling really good.
A 30-second stream of smoke coming out.
When they put it out, then they close their eyes and shake their head.
Best on-screen, television or movie smoker.
I know who it is, and it's a mutual friend of ours.
Best.
Shit.
Best ever.
God, go ahead.
I mean, it's not Humphrey Bogart, whatever.
Nope, not Sean Penn, but good guess.
it is Mr. John Hamm
in a little show I like to call
Madman. He was
he made that thing so cool
it's like I don't even know you
we should fucking get him on just to take
his award. No he was fantastic
in that. Oh I love cigarettes
so it is cool and I hate to say it I don't recommend it but I
force it I can't do it. It'll kill you but it's just
so cool. I'm like what's I got to look at my list
I got shit to tell you about it. Oh here's the last thing
that's riveting.
Okay.
When I try,
this is a good trick for people.
If you're on the road like me,
this is not a commercial.
Everything else says we do.
Interesting.
I'm all here.
I said,
I got a fly from D.C.
This is how much of a fucking hard assay.
Flyed it.
I wake up a D.C.
Coffee.
I went out once,
walked,
and then I went out of him,
walked twice.
That wasn't what I was planning.
Busted my quads,
hamstrings.
Came back.
We take off.
fly to near Hershey drive half hour to Hershey stay at this hotel nice enough looked like a
dirty dancing hotel I think I played there this is the one where they're like you know this is
this hotel's a hundred years old would you believe it I go minimum minimum ghosts floating everywhere
so that one then I we only have two hours there fortune is on the show there robin fortune
so we leave an hour later we take a little snooze go to the gig
then we
high tail,
I take a car to Philadelphia two hours
and then I stay where
because I have an early flight home in L.A.
Marriott Airport.
It's genius.
I've done this in Detroit.
You stay at the airport.
Yeah.
And you walk out and you're in the airport.
Yep.
They have one of those attached in Denver
and I did that last time I was there.
You just walk right.
From baggage claim,
you go across a gang,
way, and then you're in the hotel, and the same thing.
You're starting to get the road.
This is the first time I went.
You're starting to get it.
You're starting to get it.
Yeah, I'm not saying you've got it, but you're starting to get it.
You seem to get it, but you don't have it.
But now when you said that Denver thing, I said, oh, he saved an hour drive.
Yeah.
He's getting, he's starting to get it.
When you started touring like this, this is maybe a couple years ago.
I remember this isn't a quick impression of you two years ago about travel.
What do I do?
where do I go how do I get to the gig and I go David calm down you will figure it out
should I stay at the airport I go David probably should I stay super far from the airport you go
no stay closer to it oh yeah okay I used to do that is it light or dark out I do that to John
love it's and he actually didn't kind of mad John you quick impression of you what's going on
how do I do a sketch where do I go he goes excuse me
I was Emmy nominee.
That's not how I do it.
And I don't talk like May West.
Yeah.
So I stay.
So here's the big fucking fat story that I've been sitting on.
Okay.
Come on.
Give it.
I have the next day.
Is this my story?
Oh, I have to order breakfast.
Just don't have early onset dementia right now.
I go, I need breakfast.
And they go, there's a QR coat.
What?
So I in my hay,
Hayes of the morning.
Can you just take my shitty order?
It's very basic.
Wish we could.
There's absolutely no way, Poth.
So I give a QR, camera phone.
Eggs.
What do you mean by eggs?
And then what language do you want?
I'm going down, add, subtract this dog shit.
And then it won't let it go through.
And I go, why not, Dana?
What's your email?
Oh, they want your email and home address, cell phone number.
You don't get my goddamn precious email.
You could offer me a 500.
I wouldn't because now you're going to spam me.
I already got an email from them.
Hey, David, great news.
We have a new sausage pancake at the Marriott at the fucking airport.
I know.
I hate all that information.
I just give them a fake number, but I can top you.
I was at a place in Vegas.
So they give us this two-bedroom sweep.
My wife's with me.
It's just, you know, wall of windows and everything.
First of all, we're looking at a construction site.
They're building the stadium.
Secondarily, there is a sewage smell throughout the suite.
So the guy comes in, I spray, I don't know, I spray for you.
I'm sorry, you said you had sewage smell.
Yeah.
So that was not fun.
Different stinky in here.
It's still going to smell like sewage.
I'll be honest with you.
can't get rid of it totally, but we're going to tamp it down. We're going to tamp it down.
You'll have sewage, put perfume together. You're happy in the suite. And that was Paula.
That was Paul. Your wife saying that. Yeah. She just got a funny accent. We sprayed it. Did you put
perfume? No, we use raid, Ant, and Roach. It just smells different. But, you know, it's one of those
things like you'd go to, I always say, just give me a regular room, you know, sometimes,
sweets. I hit my elbow.
I know. Sometimes they go, here you aren't.
It's like the sweet from the hangover and you're like, I don't need nine rooms.
Yeah, I know.
And I don't leave a comment, first world problems we understand.
It's first world. I don't know any other world.
Sewage smell is all, anyone can relate to that, you know.
Yeah, I remember stink.
Okay, I think that's all.
Oh, when Swartson went on because, you know, Sandler, we all, it's just every night.
He has different people.
Nick Swarton, that dufus.
and he was on
and we always crack up
the whole time
but when I follow him
I always go
oh Nick Swartz
and everyone
then I go
oh why are all
the five year olds
piling out of the stadium
oh they just wanted
to see Nick
there's only
there's only one Nick
didn't he have an album
called
who farted or did you fart
and then he
and then he has
follow up album
was guess what
I farted
I was the guy
that farted the whole time
and then he had
a third one
It's a fart or ram it at my house.
He is one of the World War fart.
Funniest guys.
Yeah, when on the group chat,
you should not jump on this group chat unless you're ready
because if you bomb,
you know my trick on the group chat.
By the way, I have to say Swartzon is pretty funny on it.
I hate those things.
When I get on, I write my joke.
And then guess what I do, Dana?
You press send.
Yeah, I do that.
But then I give it about two seconds.
then I put a ha-ha on it, on my own.
Oh, yeah.
It's the party going.
So someone just looks down and goes,
oh, someone laughed at this one.
It must be good.
I sent a text to someone the other day.
It was a heartfelt kind of thing.
And then I was,
and they replied back.
And I was going to do a heart on the reply,
but I put a heart on my statement.
That's the best thing.
That's what I'm saying.
Some love.
You do it.
You put a ha-ha,
so everyone goes, oh, that's a funny joke.
And you're like,
they don't really take some second.
I go, wait, Spade.
Did you laugh at your own joke?
I go, fuck, yes, I did.
Hey, anyone can try this.
I was having a quasi just, you know, chat back and forth with perfunctory information.
Yeah, we went there, we went there.
And I just started putting ha ha on everything they said.
That's good.
And it's just like, yeah, we took a car to the airport, ha ha.
And then the plane was a little bit delayed, ha ha.
And finally they're like, why are you doing that?
I'm scared.
Well, people do put LOL when they're nervous.
And they just go, okay, I'm on my way, LOL.
Yep, I'll be there soon, L-O-L, and you go.
Or when you go, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, and how many, when do you stop?
Yeah.
You know, you do like 10 of them.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha.
Okay, so anything else on your end before we get into the hot, hot, hot stories that will be old?
Are we talking about the Taylor Swift thing or, or no?
Nicole Kahn.
No, Nicole Kippman, sorry, get him confused.
Oh, Nicole Kerman got a divorce.
I guess it was a couple days ago, even though it,
just happened. I know. Now, that, yeah, Keith, Keith,
Urban from Australia. Which one's Nicole?
No, he's, she's great on the right and she's great on the left.
No, that guy is, uh, um, he's from Australia. Oh, I don't like you making all those
out of those movies with them fellas or borgs me.
Nick and Kate. Take off your knickers in front of that fellas. Yeah. Is that offensive?
No, that's us right.
They were together.
They had a long run, so we got to applaud that.
That's Hollywood.
Average two years, no joke in Hollywood.
Two years, one kid in Hollywood.
Sad, but true.
Oh, let's look at these comments.
Check out first comment.
I mean, okay, there.
Well, there's fucking baby doll.
There is baby girl, I think it's called.
So this is, Nicole is not the only one, but she's probably the queen of middle-aged women
And I'll say that are in really good shape, making highly sexualized movies.
And I just wonder if that bugged her husband.
I'm just, I can't help but be curious.
Oh, that's an angle.
Yeah.
You know, she's, that's an S&M thing when she's on all fours drinking milk.
Does she give any guy, you've seen more things than I have of her, which I do like.
She's great actress.
Any BJs in the shower?
Yes.
Yes, absolutely.
Yeah.
And so I have to say, if, oh, I'm Kate Ebbin, and I'm like, what's on the docket today at Weck?
She's like, just your basic.
We got a couple of car scenes.
We got a couple overhead shots with a drone and the day with a goblin goo in the shower.
Come on.
That is hard.
Even though you're faking it, I think it's very hard to watch.
That was in big little lies where the husband, it was there in Monterey.
And, you know, I think Reese Witherspoon was in.
It was a really cool series, but she had a husband who was violent with her,
and then she would try to tame him down.
So she was doing that activity in a shower.
And as long as you don't do, a BJ seen from a horn in a shower.
All I can take it.
Every script they sneak those in because bless her heart for being a good actor.
She's sort of gained or anything.
She's absolutely great.
And it's kind of a, well, if you were in a marriage that,
was possibly iffy it's not cheating it's the closest thing you can do is like when you get
you take a movie where it's just like hyper sexual um the thing is i guess their net worth is
300 million so you don't have to do my own to pay bills so it is voluntary he had said that
oh i don't mind watch you to have sex on a scream with a guy yeah i just but i know it's her art
form. I look at it as a piece
of art, not her.
And apparently that was
the idea. Nick Swartz's
fourth special is called Fart Form.
Maybe that's what he was going for.
Art form.
Nick Swartz, I think
he and Sandler signed a deal. It's a sci-fi
movie called Star Fart.
And he's an astronaut with a
gas problem. He's an
astronaut with a gas problem.
Oh, there you go.
What?
also by the way don't worry
it could be a movie star fart
he burns me on those group chats
and the group chats are funny
because you get like Conan
or someone that used to be on the tour
or they've been on a couple days in there
and now everyone starts chirping in
like a month later going
why am I hearing about where the car pickup is
go fuck yourself you guys
and then we're like hey look who it is
so
oh Tim Meadows couldn't get off either
and he's like guys get me off this goddamn thing
we're like no chance
dude you're going to hear every breakfast call every stupid question yeah it just like everyone's
thinking it becomes like a comedy competition there's thinking and you're typing really fast to
get yours in there and then you'll look at it like a minute later there's already 10 more jokes and
you go my joke sucked and you start feeling bad so i got out of it humiliation
humiliation author but what a blasts i don't go back out for a while but i'm going to try it again
Okay, send some more stories our way.
Let me see.
Bad Bunny.
Oh, this will be old, but he has announced as the Super Bowl halftime show.
Which, oh, he was in Happy Yomor.
I know his name.
I'm not familiar with his music.
Can somebody, Greg or Heather, or you tell me.
His real name is Bad Rabbit.
Oh, listen, Heather.
Is it hip-hop?
Is it rap?
Is it country?
Is it pop?
I think it's, it's, yeah, what is it?
Rap, what would you describe?
I don't think it's rap.
Is it like Mark Anthony?
Look at Greg, just writes Latin music.
What a fucking generic?
Oh, Latin kind of, bum, bum, da, d'amp.
It got a lot of less ill.
You said.
Yeah.
Now, look, I did read this.
I thought it was funny because a lot of people,
you want to have, you know, Eminem or you want to have these names,
Eminem from 20.
or five years ago.
These funny names, Shaboozy,
a baby,
Bibi.
Bad Bunny was good,
but I did read an article
about names.
He was really seriously considering
before he settled on Bad Bunny.
One was cruel rat,
but it had no pop to it,
you know?
I heard one was,
uh,
misbehaving art bark.
Yeah.
Uh,
there was another one.
Well,
good Bunny was there for six.
months he was good bunny and um he didn't sell anything you know first he was just a rabbit rabbit man
yeah was one of his name rabbit then sort of shoulder shrugger rabbit he didn't know which way to go
yeah and then he went bad um he did say day and uh though he was mad about uh the ice situation
and he said i'm not doing my tour in america at all this year
I will avoid America.
Except for the Super Bowl?
No, and then he got off for the Super Bowl a week later.
And so that was the only controversy is that he accepted that.
I don't know his status, but Trump is a big start.
Trump is out there.
He might wait until he's in his second song, wait.
Okay, go get him.
You know, on the Super Bowl stage, 300 million, we'll see him, take it away.
Yeah, just go get the backup dancers.
yeah so does he come in here with a green card or where's it where's he from i think he lives here
i think he lives in miami he did happy gilmore he played his caddy and uh so his buddies are
i hear he's a nice guy you know samman samman bad man bad bunny actually is a good name it comes
off that you remember it you know david it's kind of like well by the way i'll tell you
these these NFL games because i play fantasy and stuff i don't love the i know that all business
businesses want to be bigger.
But now there's so many NFL games.
Forget that they're going to every other channel
than the ones I paid for.
Now they're going to every channel is their own game
and you've got to join that.
That already infuriates me.
But I don't like international games
because maybe not everything has to be worldwide.
I mean, a small thing is you go by a razor
and you go, this place has a good razor.
And then you go, oh, that's great.
Someone's calling me.
And you go, oh, this is great.
and then the next time you see the place
they sell everything under the sun
you're like just do the one thing you do
right but every company has to grow
so football
Berlin, Brazil, Ireland
and they're like at 6 a.m. in the morning
and I don't know when they're on and you're like
oh how can I bet on it? I wonder if the coach
when he gives a pep talk
all right good game gentlemen
next week we're in Dublin
and we got to kick some ass in Dublin
it doesn't seem like
Also, they're not, they go and they hand out like Steelers, terrible towels and all these people
like, what team?
They don't know what's going.
Half of them don't know.
You don't have your fans there.
It's not like a home game.
So there's not like that.
It's just people that they want, just fill up the stadiums that looks full.
I know.
Well, at least they have.
And these guys got jet lag and they're like, I mean, come on.
No, it wipes them out.
And then I hear eventually they've run out of cities with stadiums.
And you guys, all right, next week, we're going to play south of France.
We're going to play Provence.
We're going to be out in a woodsy field.
Let's go.
Team.
They go on Bill Gates' boat, which does have a football field, luckily.
Right.
Yeah, I got a football field, guys.
You can get on my boat if you wanted to.
It's longer than Jeff Pesos's boat.
That would be big.
They all have fucking yachts, these billionaires, but I'm not mad.
All right.
Next.
This one might get you mad, whatever it is.
Let's see.
Hopefully it's a mad one.
Kanye West adds
President
Donald Trump
as President Trump
his ex-wife Kim
and others
to his betrayal list
as he reveals
he is in
Oh people who
No
Oh his only kid isn't
No person can fix
LeBron James
Oh these are the people
that no person can fix
Oh my God am I on this hold on
I'm fixable
Harriet Tubman
Oh he went deep on
Harriet Tubman, she's been in the stars for a curious George.
Now, that's why.
Who made this up?
This is pretty funny.
Is this AI?
And it says just Adolf at the end.
I think I know what he means.
Who's James Murray?
How'd you like to be like a regular dude they got on here?
This door man.
Kid Cuddy.
King Vaughan.
Is that Pusha T, Heather?
I don't know.
Northwest is his daughter, right?
Tye dollar sign.
Why isn't my name David?
If my name Spade had a dollar sign to have an S, I swear I think it would help things.
We're definitely need nicknames.
Adolf is what?
Adolf, just Adolf.
Yeah, Adolf, just Adolf, we know.
He goes like this, Adolf.
You know what to do.
Uh-oh.
It's not Jason Strasen again, isn't it?
No, that's Eric the midget on Stern.
He was trying to put a hit out on someone once.
And he goes, they go, what are you talking about?
This guy backed out of a deal.
They record him going, take care of it.
He goes, take care of what.
He goes, you know what to do.
And everyone goes, are you trying to kill someone?
Jesus.
Look at my hair is glowing from behind again, Dana.
Do you see that shit?
I know.
What is that?
We got high marks on it last time.
This is Heather's concoction.
They like this little feather thing back there because it looks like you have a little
like a angel.
I was having orbs floating around and we're fixing the lighting here.
I don't know.
I like the black background, though.
Oh, it's black all right.
Oh.
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Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything.
Like packing a spare stick.
I like to be prepared.
That's why I remember, 988, Canada's suicide crisis helpline.
It's good to know, just in case.
Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder anytime.
988 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada.
Okay, next story.
Yeah, they're rushing us right along.
gaming giant EA sports sold to Saudi-based investment group 55 billion what is it made a
leather the guy wanted to buy it and then he had started hanging out with uh kushner
oh Jared Kushner's involved yeah they kind of put this together that's I will say Saudi
Arabia is sort of running the table lately they've got sort of Brady out of retirement
They're just normalizing Saudi Arabia.
He's playing flag football.
They pay him up the fucking ass.
All the comics went over there.
And it's hard to even get mad or go, oh, I have an opinion.
Because then there's another one two days later.
Then there's the boxing match I went to.
I guess I'm guilty.
And it's the same guy involved in all those.
I don't know about this one, but Saudi Arabia's public.
They have unlimited money.
I mean, that's the way.
Yeah, that's thing.
You can always just outbid with them.
Yeah.
No one gives a shit.
They're like money, money, money, money.
to money. Luckily, I hate money.
Gervitz wants you to love money.
Dana likes money.
I guess you don't like money. You don't like work.
Saudi Arabia.
I guess you don't want to work.
You don't work that because I guess you don't like money.
These guys like money.
How much you would take you to go to Saudi Arabia to do stand up?
You have five seconds.
If Tom Brady says I'll run a few patterns with you before I just go there for free.
If they got Tom, Tom Brady's going to play flag football, that is that it?
Is that what they got them to do?
What do they pay?
I think it's tied in with fanatics and stuff.
stuff, but I think they don't say, but I'm sure whatever you say, he'll go higher more than you think.
Since we are global, I'm just going to make a quick, you know, hey, Saudi Arabia, Dana Carvey from Saturday Live and stuff.
Will you go?
I would love to go there with David's Bay.
We co-headlining in the desert.
I'm sure we could do $60,000.
And anyway, just call me Saudi Arabia.
The one I was going to do was a 4,500 cedar.
I think that's where they put a lot of people that come over there.
But I don't think my thing was a part of the festival.
Because it was about two months ago.
Just to get you to do a one-nighter in Saudi Arabia?
Yeah, just to go to a gig.
That's a hall unless they pay you.
I think they're very, it was more than I get it for sure.
But I think it's more like they want to just normalize everyone going there and everyone doing business there.
So they're doing more and more and more stuff.
And people will just just get numb to it, of course.
I mean, if you have a problem with them or not, it just sort of all washes away.
Yeah, you get your fighter, you might get $10 million, and there you get $100 million.
And I don't know if they pay the tax.
I think he gave Canello $100 million to.
I did get a call, and it wasn't for me.
It was for you.
And what I heard on the phone, it was weird.
It was like, can you get David Spade for me?
I would like to put him in small theater.
And I go, I don't know.
How much money would it cost for David Spitt to come to Saudi Arabia and do the funny thing he does?
I go, I don't, not sure.
It's a lot of not sure what jokes would work over there.
You know what I mean?
Like, I don't know.
You just don't know.
And also, they do for sure give you a list because someone posted the list, the comics got at least, of what not.
to talk about. And the argument is a little bit like when you goes where you should talk about
where you are, make fun of everything, make fun of whatever. You can't make fun of a lot of things
over there. And you can't drink and, you know, some basics. I wonder if there's any women in the
audience. Is that a real question? Would that be a real question or not? Yeah, I don't know the
culture of that country. I don't know. Country to country in terms of what women are able to do.
I think they can kind of drive maybe during the day or something now. I saw one.
where they have one eye, you know, they have, maybe it's called a burqa, but they have eyes,
but they had one eye because they were punishing them saying, I like, they, you had two eyes
for a while and they go, you had it too good. What is it down to? I mean, I don't know where,
if it's everywhere there, I don't know enough. I'm just saying, wherever that is, that's a drag.
The only upside, and I'm for freedom for women. And so the only upside is you have,
a uniform. You just wear it. You got the Habib and the beam, but whatever it's called.
You know, and that's it. So fashion. It looks like a folded umbrella. You know, like when
they go like that. Yeah, it's a sort of slightly beekeeper motif, but yeah. Listen, that's what you
like. It's not for me. I don't like it. I like these light shirts. Yeah. I got this and
your jean jacket and black t-shirts. Okay, let's do another one. We're doing it. Let's
let's see where we're going here um chinese made bone glue fixes fractures in just three minutes
with one injection ooh hmm oh i can throw away my viagra i figure there'd be some kind of sexual
joke with bone glue well bone glue so that i call viagra yeah yeah well if they can do this
like let's say you go break your hand like they show there
You go in and they just go and then it kind of like gorilla glues.
That's great.
I don't know.
I cracked my ankle once doing an Adam Sandler movie, actually.
Where's your bone glue?
I had to wear a boot for a little bit.
Oh, yeah, which one was it?
Was it Ridiculous Six?
Oh, no, no.
It was before that.
I think it was probably a little Nicky.
I think so.
Hey, I'm from the south, the deep south.
I did something on the Dana Carvey show that he liked, and he asked me, can we use that?
And I played a ref who had a high-pitched voice.
Come on, you guys.
Get it in here, guys!
You know, that kind of thing.
It was funny.
It is funny.
Look it up, kids.
Oh, here's another story.
It might not be in there.
I was just looking.
Maybe you can look it up.
They have an AI actor, now an actress.
Tilly, Norwood, and they're trying to get her an agent, her.
And all of us actors, you included, no, you're not, I'm included, adding our,
not discussed, but just saying, hey, if an agency signs an AI actress, it's pretty much over.
Would Gervitz ever say to an AI actress?
I guess she just don't like work.
You know what I like about you?
You like money and you like to work.
You don't complain about flights because you're on a computer.
Yeah, exactly.
Meet Tilly Norwood, the AI actress.
There she is.
She is cute.
I bet she's nice.
By the way, she looks like a lot of actresses.
It's like just get an actress that's a real person.
I don't want to see a movie that's AI.
I don't care.
I don't want to see it.
It's not real people.
You won't know it.
You won't know it.
It'll just, you'll hear it.
I know, but no, I will.
how would you couldn't spot it because i know everything yeah yeah it's getting too good it's really
you know the main thing is they're not going to replace comedians anytime soon i don't think
that's the toughest one not with jokes like hershey that sounds sweet that was started the podcast
yeah that was one of my finest moments you could sell that on the open comedy market i might
have long covid now if my energy seems a little low i'm totally past it but i'm a little
spacey how do you know when you have long covid you sound fine and you you seem like you're
acting fine no just energy i was a little beat up last week after my uh i'll be packed back from
chicago uh such a roadhog lately i can't stand it well you can't you can't you can't get enough
don't stop till you get enough i do all this just so i can break even that's the funniest part it's
like you got to do a lot of dates yeah i'm blowing
money on is so dumb but you can't fix me not fixable all right let's do one more now we'll
get it one more one more this is it oh in more movie news john malcovitch movie was made in 2015 but
they won't show it until 21 15 a hundred years we got to wait for the stupid shit written by
malcovich oh it's robert rodriguez who's a real filmmaker yeah is it a waste of time
day and I go.
No, I think it's a clever PR thing because now everyone's going to try to see it.
We should really record a special podcast, just you and me, and say it won't be released
until the year 29, 10, and see if people go, what?
Like you bury it in a tree like we did.
What was that called?
Time capsule.
I did that fifth grade.
I was in Casual, yeah.
I was in Casual, in Arizona, and I put it.
My addition to it was yo-yo or something.
where if you dug it up today this far later
everyone would be like worthless
silly putty Duncan Imperial
Yeah
They're like
Remember we used to have pencils
Hey man
I watched last night
All the President's Men
And you did
It's great
I mean I watched
That's such a cool one
What do you like better of that
Or Butch and Sundance for Redford Go
I think
I think he was awfully
Freaking good
and all the president's men.
I mean, he must have loved it.
They, you know, on the big screen,
they had him just full close up and all these papers.
And I really got into how, this time,
how much they had to play act,
Dustin Hoffman's, you know,
Woodward and Bernstein to get people to talk.
So they'd say,
oh, between each other.
Yeah, because people were so scared to talk about the,
the scandal with Nixon.
So they'd go, what is P?
And they go,
can't say. And then Refford's character says, okay, you say what is P? And I say, hey, we know
that's Peterson or whatever. Yeah. We already know that. Oh. So then that opens up. So you know
that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And no word process is just old-fashioned typewriters. It was very cool.
Which Cats and Sundance kid was mostly Paul Newman's movie in a way. What about the Sting?
Never was a super fan of it. I saw it. I haven't revisited it. Have you? Whoa.
Well, it was a little fanciful.
Can you hum the theme?
Oh, don't whistle.
People get mad.
Do it over here.
No, you're doing it into the mic.
People get mad.
Yeah.
Go on the other room.
Piano.
Something like that.
Okay, so, oh, I did see a movie.
This is the last thing I'll say.
I saw a movie on the flight home.
Black Bag.
Did you see it?
It was pretty good.
Never heard it.
Kind of a suspensy, not even thriller, just sort of mystery, intriguing, spy thing.
Kate Blanchett, my celebrity crush, was in it.
She's awfully good.
Unreal.
What about weapons?
Did we already talk about that?
No, but they were backstage.
Everyone liked it.
I saw it a second time.
I had little different issues with it, but it still is a great.
Great movie, yeah.
I don't want the jump scares, but I want to see it so I can talk to you about it.
See it.
See it.
And shut up.
Shut up.
Okay, well, I think this is one of the best ever.
Top 100 for sure.
We've done probably 200 of these.
I don't want to think about it.
You know what, we'll read a few of your comments next week.
But not only the mean ones, we read the good ones.
Yeah, we're going to have what they call fan engagement.
So we love to read.
People have thoughtful things to say about it.
So sometimes that's nice.
All right, Dana, I'm going to let you go.
Just if you could just wait while I leave and get on the freeway.
Keep your laptop open so it uploads properly.
That's what we really do.
Okay, thanks guys.
See you next.
Thank you.
Bye.
Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, fly.
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Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.
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