Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Chilling, Taste Testing & Quiet Quitting

Episode Date: March 23, 2026

Dana unleashes a new Johnny Carson bit, David explains Heated Rivalry (way too late), and the guys discuss NIL in college sports, golfing with Travis Kelce, 2 of David's new projects, baby Jon Lovitz and so much more. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Jealous? Jealous of my spasm? I'm going to fight Mr. T. And he goes, are you kidding me? He's got to hoit you. He's got to watch it. He's got to watch your parents. I wouldn't give you more than one donut.

I can't do it, buddy. I said, give me a donut. Wait a minute. Who are you? You know what I do when I try to burn people? because I know they don't do a lot. I go, what's your big Saturday? What's your big Saturday night?

What did you do last night? What was your big Saturday? And it makes them go, well, it wasn't really a big Saturday. I just, you know, mowed the lawn and looked at my phone for seven and a half hours. Then I went to bed. Most of the time, your people are just generally speaking, hanging out. Yeah, doing nothing. You're just hanging out.

Even if you're when I was a bus boy. We're hanging out most of the time, you know. You know what's cooler? It used to be, what are you doing? Nothing. But it sounds cooler to go, just chilling. No, you're doing something. You're chilling, yeah.

My favorite phrase of the last couple years. Chilling, that's the 70s. My favorite phrase is someone says, I'm quiet quitting. Oh, that's old? No, no, that's fairly new. Yeah, that's people quitting work where they just stop doing their job. They just don't put any effort. They phone it in, you know, especially when you.

They get fired. You can go work from home. I don't know. Some people will go to Cabo and be on the beach and then just do two hours in the hotel room like you would do. Get their work all done. And then party. I love it. But the robots are going to take over.

So that's all right. Oh, got a little Debbie down on there. Enjoy your job now because. AI will take it in a week. Oh no, you fucker. I wasn't going to do this, but now. Oh, no, the war of the $2. God, if I could find it.

This is the cheapest thing. Shit. Oh, I was going to fucking light you up. Oh, no, if I can't do it, we're not going to do it because I'm wasting too much time. I'm trying to, I have a bunch. It's hard to see it. It's kind of dark. The little.

No, this one sucks. Mine's awesome. That's a pretty good joke. All right. Could I introduce a new segment? No. Go ahead. Okay.

I don't even give you any enthusiasm. Okay. This thing I was like to do, it's called Johnny's Back. So it's Johnny Carson does jokes. And then some of them are sort of like how we, if he was a monologist today, if he had a show today, what would the jokes be kind of thing? Okay. So it's, you know what? This is Johnny Carson.

Johnny is back. I just want to say the world's a little scary. So you've got to go to your local bar and forget all your troubles. Ed and I went to the rusty nail and we said, what do we have? And the bartender said, a double straight of Hormuz. They're not supposed to be good. I should have known the bar was actually called the War Zone. And I'll have a...

What? Okay, that's funny. Ruining your joke. Go ahead. The war zone. You know, the, Johnny's back. The stock market's a little volatile.

The Dow Jones is falling faster than Doc's trousers in a whorehouse. Jesus. Why stuff? Mine's a toilet. No, but the point of Johnny's back is they don't have to be great jokes. I like them. They're just more updated. Yeah.

Because these would be some old Johnny jokes. The worst gift in the world is a fruit cake. There's no one who really wants a fruit cake. In fact, there's only one fruit cake in the entire world, and people keep just gifting it to each other. Took me a while to get there. That's fucking money. So I'm just inviting the fans.

I need an effect after I say this, the legions of fans to write us Johnny Carson jokes as if it was in today's vernacular. They do it sometimes on... Who doesn't? On the YouTube. God, I'm wasting all this time looking for funny ones, but... I don't know.

Oh, I mean, actual Carson once? No, just reactions to yours. Well, that would be if he had some kind of expert on. Now we're talking to Mr. Monkey. He can get a little aggressive, I understand, and... Here comes his friend. No. No, that's the wrong one.

That was a fart. It's supposed to be something else. Oh, here's a monkey one. God, he's fucking hyped up on Adderall. Here's what I, there's what the audience thinks about our first few minutes. God. I don't think, I don't know if that's it.

Shit, I lost mine again. Forget it. It's solid gold stuff. I have a $2 toy. People are going to be like pay-palling us money and cash-happing. This is too good we should pay. Right, right. This is so much more than what we're getting listening to a few ads.

Let me see. Someone said on the YouTube we didn't name drop enough about the Oscars. But I will say, I think I already said when I golfed with Santino that day, Andrew Santino. from the andersonino yeah yeah of course you know him you've done big big red big golfer so he invited me down but i was paired with Travis Kelsey which I didn't know for sure I was doing that so we got to have a cart and drive around and um I got to ask him nothing about Taylor Swift out of respect did I oh no I told I just told him that Taylor's dad was at one of the shows and

gave me some guitar picks, which was nice, a little zip block from, he said, you can take these around and tell him that for Taylor Swift's dad. Did he start to, give him your friends? Did he fall asleep actively in the golf cart when you were doing that?

Hey, hey, hey, Mr. Kelsey. Kelly, Kelsey? Taylor Swift one time was at a college and then I was there, I was there afterwards. That's my whole story. That's about the length it should be. All my stories are that boring, but they're five minutes longer. You know what I find in general, although it could blow up in your face,

is being just totally honest. Like, what is, man, football player, you're all-time great, and then this happens, this global media and all that. How are you processing that? Can you ask me my nine iron, please? I need my wedge. Yeah. Kelsey, would you hand me my... I mix it in. He's not my catty.

But sometimes people are like, no, well, in my story he is, you're not like little David Spade. Me can't talk to... I'm making frail. He's too famous. No, I just didn't want to give him the typical questions, but he was nice. I'm just kidding. Santino was funny. We went five of us, which is a lot.

It's usually four golfing, but... By the way, the dude can power hit. he does put those big muscles. I said this might sound weird, but can I feel your muscles? This may sound weird. Can I feel all your muscles? Well, you hit a golf ball with your legs and your ass. So I think you don't want to feel the muscles that he's really using.

Oh. You don't hit it with your arms. Like your legs are just like, they're straight. Your knees are locked and you just go like that. You get it like 10 feet. It has to be the lower. You have to use your core. And then I go, this is your core.

And then I go, are you ticklish? right right well I played backgammon with shabazi what's his name shibuzzi

and I played backgammon and I'm just trying to you know I got stories too no it was Oscar weekend so of course people are coming out of the woodwork

Lady Gaga and I played chess end of story in the park she had sunglasses on did you smack it like between each play well I just I just said well we're

How does you get the name Gaw, Gah? Did you, for you first think of Gaw, then you added another gaw? Did you say, which ones didn't make the cut? Which ones were even dumber? Gougu? Yeah, isn't your real name Barbara Billingsley or something? Why is it, Lady Baba?

Why do I go into Gart at this age when I'm talking to her? It's funny to do Garth. So golfed, but the Oscar parties were, there's not much to say. Oh, you know I saw as the kid from, I forgot to say this, we were walking around, me and my buddy, damn. And we were in the back, we went to a back corner to get a little stand-up, you know, circle top to just rest and survey the parameter and not be in the mix. Because it was like, you get overwhelmed fast. She'll just maybe we should bust out of here. But then one of the kids from the hockey show came over.

Said, can we split this table? I said, yeah, for sure. Did you say hockey show? The hockey show where they are lovers, Dana, wake up. What is it on? The Pluto channel? Logo. What's it on, Heather?

She said, Dana, I can't believe you don't know it. Then I go, she's like, I don't know. It's called sibling rivalry. It's called heated rivalry. I got it HBO Max HBO Max Geez

What do you HBO Max I'm still working through season one of Love Island You are not watching Love Island Uh huh

Mm-hmm Now like Uh-huh Let's have a group chat about it No but Heated rivalry Dana is about Two tough hockey players

That fall in the ice And they start kissing No it's not Oh, their rival teams. They hate each other, but they really don't. Wait a minute. Sorry, but it's like a gay hockey show. I mean, what?

There you go. Is that bad to say that? No, it's what it is. Every girl in the world loves it. Literally every single girl in the world loves it. That's exactly what it is. And why do women love that idea? What is it?

Heather. Heather, tell me the two guys' names. It seems odd, but guys like to see two girls hooking up, and then girls, I didn't know, like to see two guys hooking up. Okay. Nikki Glazer says, well, one guy's name is Connor and hosted S&L, and this was the other gentleman, who was very nice, actually. Why don't I remember his name?

Say his name. Oh, God, everyone's asleep at the wheel. Anyway, yeah, this is very nice. This is early, too. And I said to Nikki, do you watch that show? And she said, oh, yeah. And then some other people were there. And the girls said, oh, the hockey show where they're gay, I've heard about.

But I don't think I'd like it. I don't like hockey. She goes, the good news is they're almost no hockey. She goes, there's no hockey. They start by going and then no hockey the rest of the whole thing. It was Hudson. Yeah. Those are real names.

Connor host at SNL. Wake up, Dana. What year? Did you host it when I was there? airplane Biden last fall. Three weeks ago. Don't be jealous. Oh, that guy. Yeah, he's good. He's funny. I saw it. I don't keep the names, Dan. I don't, I can't. Danny, I don't know. Anyway, he looks a little like, I think is great. I just thought sort of the folklore was that women were more sexually fluid in a sense, and men were either one team or the other. I know. I'm so

tough. I don't even get HBO Max because my TV knows how tough I am. It's like you don't want to see this. You don't want to see it. I don't connect the dots. Because it's a show about two gay guys hooking up. So you're so not gay. I'm so manly.

I see that you can't even get it on. I can't even. It wouldn't even understand. I'll be that. You try to order it. That does not compute. Mm-hmm. Your subscription has been canceled due to overt masculinity. Overt. please call Mark Finneus Gervitz at 517. Let me tell you.

Maybe you like it. They like money. It's a hit show. Hey, it's all fun. I don't know. Maybe we'll get you on there. I put the cat on the roof. You know what?

I went George Bush. The cat in the roof is a really cool phrase that I didn't know about, meaning a deal is almost sealed. The cat's on the roof. Yeah. You know what he used to say? I call the guy. I set the table. So when you call, he knows everything that's going on.

You just close it, whatever. And now he goes, I called the guy, the cat's on the roof. Next time you, and I go, you said it three times in this conversation. I don't know what you're talking. Is that a phrase? He goes, everybody knows that one. Wake up. One time he said to me, I set the table.

Yeah, I set the table. I got two spoons. You bring a knife. Once for soap. Are we talking about a deal in Hollywood? No, you bring the salad fork. The napkin goes tucked up in your shirt. We're getting close.

And then you close a deal. Yeah, and then you get a TV dinner. I set the ball up. You spike it. Mark's listening right now. He loves on. He doesn't know what we're talking about. But you remember, I'm the guy I went from got to do it,

the nah, can't do it. So with Gervitz now, to make it, to amuse myself, I have to take. Yeah, it's crazier. We get it. It's almost archie bunker. What was her name? Edith.

Edith. I got a nice little Indian casino for you. Mm-hmm. It's a quick five-hour flight and a two-hour... A short hop, Frankfurt, to Beijing. A couple of short hops. I think there's a nice thing for you. So that's...

Anyway, set the table. Landscape has changed. I go, I thought we were going to do that deal. The landscape has changed. So much manager talk. I can't take it. I know. Did they do that in old timey days where it was just complete code?

I think it was more straightforward. We've achieved a deal with Warner Brothers. Now it's like the cheese is in the fridge. Yeah. He doesn't want to be replaced by AI. So we talk so insane that AI doesn't even know how to repeat it. No one knows if the deal is sealed or not. The deal is sealed.

it was kind of too old timing. We're on the one yard line. Yeah, now it's like, I'll be finished sewing my sweater by tomorrow. I know you go, what is that, is that good? Oh, yeah. You're going to be nice and toasty on Monday if you know what I mean. So I'll wear the sweater that you're, it'll be done. All right.

This is off the record. Little birdie told me. Trust me. Trust me. And now you know, The intermachinations, ladies and gentlemen, of Hollywood. Having a ridiculous manager. This has been Hollywood talk.

This is real inside baseball. Yeah. We got Johnny's back as a new segment. We got Hollywood talk. We need a banger. You have five seconds. We did the Oscar live show. I mean, it almost broke the internet.

The thing is. We did a show Monday and it was live. We did fly on the wall live for once. and now we're just raking in all the praise. The problem is, you know, the brand of our podcast is two nice guys, not true behind the scenes, two incredibly nice guys get together and do a podcast. Now, if we want a trend, we share it on people at the Oscars. Yeah.

Take them down. If we want to get a million hits, we know what you could say right now. And probably the thing would the screen would go. I used to be a little more like that. But I thought, you know what, we should have gotten Tim Dillon or someone to come on. Yeah. And they do the dirty work. And then we just laugh.

That's smart. Tim's great at it. If you're looking to refresh your space and make your home work better for you, Wayfair makes it incredibly easy. From furniture and decor to smart organization solutions and outdoor essentials, there's something for every style. Whether that's mid-century, modern, farmhouse, contemporary, or eclectic, spring is the perfect time to swap in lighter bedding, upgrade patio furniture, or add fresh

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Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at WestJet.com, slash 30 years. Weren't you called the king of snark at one point? I was for a while, but I think I handed it down. I didn't know what the word snarky was, and I heard it first from Dan Aykroyd. I've never heard that term. Really?

You know, you know, you got... You're the snarky guy around here. You're the snarky guy. You know, people love the snark, you know? Yeah, you know, it's a good way to get a laugh, right? I'm Dan Aykroyd. God, when Dan came by the old SNL offices, we'd just be like, I know.

He sat with us. When we were there in 86, we had dinner with us, you know. Don't be in a hurry to leave the show. And then he talked all about investing it. What do you do with your money? You take the money you earn and then you invest it. He's worth $300 million. Wait, you were only 10 years after the huge blowup of S&L.

So Dan Akrod being there right off the heels. And he was doing like trading places and shit. Holy fuck. Dan Aykroyd, as everyone knows, is Canadian nice. He didn't have, he's never had an ego. All right, sir.

And I'd rather really look at, look at haunted houses, to be honest. I mean, he's fascinated by UFOs, paranormal. So, anyway, I'm jealous of people. I am too, but I'm not that interesting,

but you want to be different than just showbiz stupid stuff. Well, let's talk about the Oscars for a second and see if we can get a banger without being too mean. After our Oscars show. It's a,

a lot of rules. We have another week. We could shit on our Oscar live streaming episode 13 hours after Conan was faced down in a pile of his own goo at the hook and crook.

His own goo? No. Yeah, that's, he used to say that. You know, this guy drank so much, he woke up face down in a pile of his own goo. You don't know that expression?

No. You aren't the key. I'm going to add it. Conan doesn't drink. Wait, what else are going to tell you, oh, the Busboys trailer came out. Oh, yeah. And also that Keanu Reeves movie I did, smaller part, but that came out. It's called Outcome. That's on Apple TV. That'll be in April 10th.

And then Bus Boys is theaters, April 17th. But a handful of theaters. So I'm telling people, buy your tickets now because it's only in maybe 100. I'm just going to call it right now. April is the month of the spade. Yeah. Well, I saw the outcome trailer. I'm not in it that much. I'm going to post it today, Heather. Because, what do you play?

I mean, what do you? I'm, uh, what, do you have an accent or? I'm one of his buddies whose name is buddy. So, no, I don't have an accent. I don't do anything. You could do an accent. I'm kind of a douchebag. So I live next to him in Malibu.

And the joke is, you know, Malibu, you kind of, the balconies. clothes together like that you have about a foot between them because they're all badged together the beach houses which is legit because they built it it wasn't really in malibu it looked exactly anyway um so when i live here and he lives here i can always talk to him he can't really escape me so i'm like what's up guy and he's like oh hey man and then they're like he goes out there to kind of zen and meditate because he's going through the ringer because he's superstar, but he's got a movie coming out, but he's getting blackmailed, and he just wants some peace and quiet. I'm like, what's up? And then he's got, you're chipping at him.

I'm just up his ass, yeah, I just like star fucking him. Because I know he's a star in the movie. You know, he plays like a Robert Downey Jr. big star. And so, uh, kind of like he is in real life. But Jonah Hill wrote it and directed it. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's cool. Cameron Diaz is his friend and Joan is his lawyer and Matt Bowmer. Sounds kind of like a cool movie. It's a great,

it's a fun movie. I think so. I'm going to go to the premiere in a while a couple weeks. But, you know, so that's out. Bus boys. Bus boys, bus boys.

We're trying to get Theo to come on before Bus Boys. So we're going to, hopefully he'll be on here if he gets back in town because I want to do it in person. You know, bus boys, yeah. I may, you know, I've told you this.

I think Theo that John Lovitz and I tried to get a sketch on SNL once. And it was called Billionaire Bus Boys. Yeah. And then we had a song, Billionaire Bus Boys, Billionaire Bus Boys, just like you and me. Billionaire Bus Boys, Billioner Bus Boys, they are so carefree. They will clean your table when they're ready and able.

Oh, Billioner, Billioner Bus Boys, just like you and me, except their billionaires. So the idea is they have to be employed a certain amount to keep all their inheritance coming in. Oh. So every... That's kind of like Brewster's millions.

Every few days, they just get fired on purpose. So someone's just eating their soup, posh restaurant. You just sit in front of them and take the... I don't think I'll take that. So it's just to get... Spoon up your ass. They have to get fired so they're slugging people and throwing chairs.

So... Yeah. That'll be the sequel. Try to be a bust boy. By the love it's his back hurts. So I'm going to have to go over there and nurse him today. Maybe I'll text him or call. Give him a call.

Check on him. Yeah, the back. He likes the golf and play tennis. You've got to really keep your core on. I like to, but I can't. What? Jealous. Jealous of my spasm?

Yeah, I had an idea that maybe John... The character of John Lovice will be part of our five-hour energy segment today. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Oh, let's do it. Just a tease. No, let's do it. Let's do it.

This is buzzing around. You know what it's time for. It's time for buzzing around. Sponsored by Five-Hour Energy and their fruity rainbow flavor. Treat your taste buds to an explosion of fruit candy flavor with a tasty caffeine kick. Get candy-flavored chaos with fruity Rainbow Five-R Energy shots online. it. www.

5hourenergy.com or Amazon. I'm going to take a slug while you rev up your pipes. Take a slug. This is kind of like a movie set

where Owen Wilson plays the babysitter of John Lovett, who plays himself as a three-year-old. And then there's a surprise

guess. I'll try to make it simple. All right. Sure. Owen Wilson, John. Everyone's silent, please. Sorry, little buddy. You can't have another donut. Why not? I want another donut.

Jealous? I promise your parents I wouldn't give you more than one donut. I can't do it, buddy. I said, give me a donut. Wait a minute. Who are you? I'm Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt, perfect.

Maybe you can help me with this baby, John Lovett. You know, I'm not supposed to give him another donut. That's a good plan. What do you think I should do? I can think of worse things than giving that little fella a donut. And I think there's nothing wrong with giving a little kid a second donut. He'll remember it the rest of his life. Exactly, Brad Pitt.

So give me a donut. Donut. I think it was a pretty good scene. Should we, should we do it again, Woody? No, that's, I think we got it. You know, just, it's great. No, you're terrific, but maybe we'll release it. It'll be an opener for busboys. I'm trying to go full circle. I've got good news, Brad Pitt. I poop my diaper. I'm so jealous you have that. I'll get you one. No, I have. That's, that's, that's a lot. That's right, John should have gone more scatological because he does like that. I have a full diaper.

Jealous. Heather, I ran on a battery, so I was going to go, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. This piece of shit. Did you do that? They said it would last 5,000 years. Five hours? Taking this out of my doomsday fucking basement.

My doomsday basement, I have a box, you know, in case everything goes wrong. it's a rat bag with cashews and raisins and five head shots I don't know if I need those but just to make sure people know I'm famous if there's a bunch of rubble if there's a yeah it's kind of like please help me first would you potentially be like Burgess Meredith in this scenario you got to help me rock because these rocks are going to hurt me poignant it I said I

Just so people know, he's doing Burgess Meredith, this famous actor for 100 years, who was playing the rough and tumble, Brooklyn kind of coach, a trainer to Sylvester Stallone and Rocky. He's supplanting it to a very sophisticated 1962 black and white Twilight Zone, where he plays someone who survives a nuclear holocaust and wants to read books. Just so it makes sense. He was always worried about Rocky. And he likes, and he's more tough love if you watch the movies carefully. He does like Rocky.

He's very tough on him. And he goes, I won't fight Mr. T. And he goes, are you kidding me? He's got to hoit and he's got to watch it. Permanent. Yeah, permanent. But he says poignant every time. You know, you know, I don't know.

He's doing it. I told you. His brain is good. He's cleared to fight. You got scrambled egg again. I mean, basically in the first movie, he led with his face. Instead of the normally, yeah. Keep hitting me to you're tired.

It was, hey, yo, hey, and he's all swollen. Hey, yo, hey. That's pretty good. And she fell in love with him right at that moment. Adrian was like the most supportive wife. You can't win. I was like, oh, thanks, Adrian. And then after he wins, she's like, you shouldn't have win.

It should have been a decision for him. I'm like, Adrian, how much money do you have on this? Hey, Adrian, I put on the sunglasses with my eyes and so swollen. With Botka's. Is that the turtle or the dog? Hey, Adrian. Ring, ring, ring. Yeah, this is Adon, Sousenegger.

Oh, boy. I could do a fight picture, too. I could take part of me. feast. I know. I'm sorry. Yeah, no, it's okay. Yeah.

Okay. So you're going to vacation to Mexico? Yeah. I would do it. You know? Go. Ro, well.

Anyway, I'm a huge fan of both those guys. Stallone and Schwarzenegger, greatest movie stars. I like that you add that at the end. I know in case people go, I'm not doing Sylvester Stallone. I'm exactly.

The character of Rocky when he got his face smashed by Apollo Creed. He's got cinder blocks in his gloves. You gotta work around these challenges. Yeah, the guy was kind of negative. He's gonna moody your permanent. His hands are like blocks of concrete. He's twice as big as you. Where's the bad part, bully?

You're on so many steroids, you're nuts on your chest. Hey, 2% body fat doesn't play it, okay? You haven't had a bonus since it's 1971, Rock. You're not allowed to have an IV in your arm during the fight, all right? Get it ready. All right, we're going to, let's go to some stories. Oh, shoot. You didn't read.

How come you can see that? Okay, God, they got a good one. That whole bullshit was. buzzing around. You had a hundred impressions. Oh, good, yeah. Sponsored by Five Hour Energy's Fruity Rainbow Flavor. Treat yourself to a candy-like flavor explosion and satisfy your sweet tooth with this zero-sugar treat. Once again, you can get in on the candy flavored chaos online at Five Our Energy.com or Amazon today. Now we'll go to some stories. At Desjardin, our business is helping yours. We are here to support your

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Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IG Private Wealth.com. Your word's not mine. Now, we did a 12-minute buzzing around. Yeah, that was one one. Is that the way it's supposed to go? All right, here he is. Is this supposed to be split screen?

Let me see. Yeah. Look at that blue line right where we have to see. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay.

Mississippi. Okay, you know about NIL and all this. Of course. Name image like this. So Mississippi is pulling a fast one and saying they pass a no tax on NIL money. It helps Ole Miss and Mississippi State. Of course. Look at it.

It says at the bottom of a teacher taxed, police taxed, health care worker, third string cornerback tax free. So they can say. come here. Wow. We'll not only give you a couple million to play in college, we won't tax you. That's,

I assume they'll win every game. The rest of the rest of it. Because you're going to, if you get a $3 million offer from California and you get, you know, the worst taxes in the country, then you go, I can go to Ole Miss. I know. Keep all my money. I mean, crazy.

That is the problem. I mean, he was, I guess Senator John Kennedy was having lunch with Gavin Newsom. Now, it gave me the wrong. but the thing you have to remember is that you are competing for talent on all levels from 50 other states. Yeah. Do I make myself clear? Now, you want to tax the shit out of people. Sorry, pardon my French.

And do you think that'll make them come to your state and work there? Is 50 the right amount of states? Because that numbers of states? Yeah. But that's smart. Some guy came out. of a swamp. So I got an idea.

Yeah, that's a good idea. We ain't going to tax NIL anymore. Mississippi today was reported to be the highest per capita earning state of the nation. That was Tom Brokaw. Yeah, every kid there is going to make so much money. It is a smart move and they pass it right away because there's not much going on. So they're just like, hey, this is how we can draw on and have a killer team. Do people understand when NIL came in?

and what it means. Is that common knowledge? Name. You can be in college and get paid doing Instagram and promoting and commercials and get paid. You know what's funny is they. Millions. Name image and likeness, but really it's just been, we'll just pay you to come here. And so we can use your name image and likeness.

But that's very secondary, it seems, because it's really just like a draft. Like every year you can just switch schools. I think you can switch during. But switch around. But to put it this way, when I was growing up, they'd be like the coach gets 10 million. The stadium is full of 80,000 people paying. They got concessions.

I mean, it's billions and billions of billions and dollars. And these guys playing football and they're getting paid zero and they could get an injury and then that's it. So it'd be like, you know, I don't know if I'm coming back for my senior year. I can't feel my feet. It's like varsity blues. Yeah, well, I think that's true. And so people said they should get paid.

This feels like it was an overcorrection. Well, maybe it was an overcorrection. The gymnast who's now on Baywatch, I'm sorry, her name is. Olivia Dunn. Olivia Dunn seems like a very nice, sweet young woman. And she has been very smart and clever. And she was a really great gymnast or is. leveraging that into a career. So props to her. Right. She gets millions to do what she does.

Whoops. I mean, you know, the fact that I look, the way I look in a in a speedo, you know, Gerbitt said, yeah, with your body, you should be on Baywatch. You'd be a little bit older, but you still be cut. I will tell you that that open casting call was a long day for me. And then I never got, I never heard anything from it. What's so funny is I'm doing the craziest shit on one side and I see you kind of like, uh, okay. I hear you doing gervits and I'm going telling you to audition for Baywashed. I can't see anymore and you're like, um, I go, let me go over some documents here. I'm listening to you go, I can't, I can't commit harder. All right. I was saying I added on an endendum that I auditioned for Baywatch.

I went to the 12-hour casting call on Santa Monica Beach and along with everyone else. And I didn't get even a callback. Yeah. I was, I tested for sort of an R-rated comedy called Bay Slut and I didn't get it. Oh, that's too bad. I went in and I said,

they said, let's see you in your Speedo. I go, they go, I see you have a photo of you in your Speedo and a photo of you. without your speedo and I go yeah that was for you and they go it's not really what we're looking for yeah I had kind of an oversized speedo it's called a slowdo and it's just a little room here yeah keep some room so things can jostle uh anyway I want to be more insane and have you look

down. I go, wada, whata, wada. And then you go, okay. No, I was thinking of. I'm sending you one of these so you can gift me with this. I like it. It's $2 on Amazon. All right. That's $2 too many. Okay, let's go to another story. Do we have any other stories? We literally have one story.

Okay, I'm fine. Okay. Stand up a comedian, recently diagnosed with Terminal cancer travels thousands of miles to try to kill his ex-wife as his last dying act murders oh he did kill her father oh this in arizona hmm no anchorage standard cream recently diagnosed with terrible can trials where does this stand-up comedy part come in i mean how it's not that funny um i don't know but a stand-of-comedian does this wow it's giving us a bad name before he had out, he headed up, he was headlined at comedy club. I think it was in Tucson called the Slice and Dish. Okay.

It's all I got. Okay, that was a fun story. But, you know, we like to promote comedians. Yeah, yeah. He's a really good comedian. He's got a great chunk. Oh, my God. This one's too bright.

It's too late now, but hang on. This is what you did when you walked into your Baywatch. edition. They go, are you excited to be here? I guess so. This is when you came in and your slow-do auditioning. That was my... Oh, that almost sounds like the nurse. I'm going to have to call the doctor. Whoa. This is more like the nurse. This is a whole show. I'm so embarrassing. I'm sorry, folks. We've been doing this a while. Sorry, we got a little silly. No, honestly, I got to take this.

Yeah. Go for Dickie. I love the fake thing holding up. That was a good pony. It'd be more like, yeah, and you go like this. Hello. Okay, let's do another one. All right.

Oh. Oh, this is Wendy's. Oh, because you know what? We didn't get to it last week. But I said I've been into Wendy's. And when they do this, let's check your eyesight, Dana. They're looking for a chief tasting officer about the role. Chief tasting officer, Wendy's.

100 grand a year. 100 grand? I could have read that. Oh yeah, I can read it now. Remote locations. Light mostly to your local Wendy's and a human mouth, a pulse, opinions, creativity, taste. That's the credentials. Job type, dream.

And then is this real? Yes, it is. Do you hate your job? I think it's Wendy's being like getting younger people by talking like directly and funny about a real job. Right. You want the vibes? You want to come in here?

You want to kick back? We're, we're fun. Yeah. That's a fun ad for a job at Wendy's. I have not gone into Wendy's in a while, but I've maybe been into Wendy's 3,000 times in my life. I have been a taste tester.

I'd like to reenact that right now. Okay. I've been a taste tester. at a hamburger joint. I won't say which one. Wendy's, anyway. So it's like, all right, let me have that.

Thank you. Okay, this is a double cheeseburger. Okay, here we go. With a special sauce. All right. Yeah. Okay. Now, I want to see you.

I want to see you. I want to see you. It'd be good at this. Try our new deluxe Spade burger. Go ahead. Let me see you mime that out. And then I'll give you a review.

Here we go. napkin. Okay. Napkin, get the burger. Here's me not liking it, but acting like I like it. Okay. It's good.

It's really, I didn't know there'd be a dog tooth in it, but I don't, I don't hate it. I think it's good. Well, that was making me laugh because it was so serious. Yeah, let me take it back.

Because all the bosses were looking. Finding it. We don't know which way you're going with it yet. Oh, good. He's giving a okay sign. And seen. Here's another one, ready? Oh, no.

This is a faster version. Okay. I'm putting it in the napkin because I love it so much. I'm going to eat it again later. Yeah. Here's another one. I guarantee we say that. We don't even know what we're going to do.

We just say it. Oh, God. He's holding his nose. Oh. Taste tester. Oh. Are you barfing because you like it too much? I don't know.

I'm trying to cover for you in front of the boss. Oh, yeah. Well, you get all the good ones. That's a good one. Thank you. We've heard it. Give us something new. Okay, here's...

You like that one? Uh-huh. I do like that one. Yeah, that's cute. Yeah, that's your review. Okay, let's do. do another one. Of the hamburger. Okay. We'll get the F. Here we go.

All right. Here it is. Here's our final clip. Oh. Oh, oh, funny. Have we never shown this? I don't think we did this. This keeps popping up my Instagram. The Facts of Life. I don't like the word failed is a little strong. Big Apple Blues did not get picked up. I think it aired but didn't get picked up. I think. Facts of Life episode, Big Apple Blues. You play the love interest in it. And you're like a 12 here or something. Go to the next one. Your Miami, right?

Oh, no, you can't see me in this one. Oh, we can't, my muscles. Can they, aren't we seeing a video? No. No, I guess they're photos, but this right side is too big. The left side's too small. I don't care about the writing. Yeah.

That's 2D on the left. And that you could see part of your head and elbow. Oh, I'm ripped, dude. I'm gonna muscle shirt. My pants are on button for some reason. but well this is it said i was a comedian in it but i was not grico who spun off and did booker right after this big star i i am a doctor um scrub tech but i'm in med school and in the pilot i i already take mindy out and i go i start crying i'm like serge i lost a patient i like

someone dies why am i in charge of anyone that would die I'm like 26, yeah, 24. The episode, this is the violin, introduced new characters played by David Spade who portrayed a sarcastic aspiring comedian named Scott. I don't think I was a comedian. No, they always say that. Griego, who blew up on a rocket ship right after this

on his own TV show. Well, this shit's got next week, let's get, because Meg Ryan played my girlfriend for a few episodes, one of the boys, 1981. Yeah. They used to work with Meg, let's do it. This will be full circle moments.

Meg's just really cool. Meg's really cool, man. You ever see you Harry and that Sally? Oh, boy, you dropping. That's what the people want to hear. Oh. I want to hear about stars. Stars?

Well, I've sold my Mickey Rooney ones with Nathan Lane. Dana has met every star in the book. Well, I did read, you know what, SNL, 130 episodes. whoops, maybe 140. Excuse me. So you meet 140 stars. I met Robert Mitchum.

This is for the boomers. Charlton Heston, not met, work with them. Yeah. It's an amazing part of being on Saturday Night Live. And every band. Every band, man. Nirvana, Pearl Jam. Older ones, newer ones, Elvis Costello.

The, what was the one I did where you were my writer? Whoops. Hosted. It was the MTV. Oh, the MTV VMAs. Yeah, and that was with Nirvana and stuff like that. I mean, I was a bit of a dick. I'd go in the rider's room.

Guys, come on, let's go. Oh, there he is. Jeez, you look really built up. Why are my pants on butt? Why are your, that says this is AI. AI gave you giant arms and pulled your zipper down, right? Why is Tudy looking at you like that? I might have been bricked up, so I said I need to give it some, a breathing room.

You were never that bricked up. tricked up. No, my weaner, like, I was like, I give it the Levi five button stress test. She's looking at me like, why are your pants off? Bob Duback used to do that. The guy was our landlord, basically, a comedian, Bob Duback. Yeah, who's out with, he's got a one-man show, Jesus doing stand-up. It's really funny.

Duback, I haven't seen him in a while. Yeah, yeah, he's out there. It's definitely good looking. He's funny. He's got this really fun guy. I like him. Yeah, he's great. All right, let's wrap it up, Dana. What?

Too much. But was that really you in the tank top? Just because the angle, you looked so built up. I was. I used to do, be able to 13 pull-ups. Seriously? Okay. I used to be strong, dude.

Well, the only thing I can say now is, well, what happened? Yeah, what happened? Where's a deflate noise? Whoops. Oh, boy. Are you taking off your coat, sir? Yeah, right at the end. You're like this.

I just bought these on Amazon for $2. Aren't you hot? That's a good shirt. Can you see what it says, though? I don't, I can't. I like straight. What does it say, Heather? It doesn't say anything, does it?

No, it's right there. I can't see. You're grainy eight millimeter. meter camera. That's 1080p. You're a 9K. No. You're a 9K loser.

1080P, don't be jealous. Shit. This is up from the Gap. And the Gap. Fall into your... If you would like to become a sponsor on this podcast. I have a great old Gap shirt from literally, easily 25. I like it because it's basic.

I like basic. That's a cool one. Yeah. It's got a little stripe, so it gives you a little something, something, but nothing too crazy. I knew you'd like it. I've got a green one as well. Hold on. I would be hot with that coat on, though.

People are like, is this over? I mean, we would say the same if it was over. So we should finish. Unless you want to show. Oh, this is an unboxing, Heather. Oh. Oh, that one I can read the gap. Yeah.

Love it. So. That's a good green. Anyway. But yeah, so I put, I make this room very cold. when I come in here. It's called air conditioning. Do you know what we used to say on Gap Girls?

Welcome to the Gap. Can I sell you some crap? Gap Girls was legendary. Could I just get a little bit of your character? What was her name? Meg. Just do it for a second. Just do it for a second.

My boyfriend last night, he's always telling me, I look like I just slept on my face. That's what Sandler says. Why do you even go out with him? He says you look like he's slept in their face. I go, he's really honest. He's a cancer.

Was you? Sandler and Farley, right? Farley, yeah. Farley was our manager. But she was Cindy and then Schneider worked at the donut hut next door. Schneider. And I said, and he came in with Sarah Gilbert. And I go, oh, but isn't the Donut huts slots?

I don't, I don't, writing Emmy. It's between dress. I don't know if you need the donut hole slots. It's a little weighty. What? It's funny. Al-thabathal. That's all I got.

Give it to me. I don't have any other lines. He goes, Schneider walks in he goes, we're in the food court. And he goes, oh, that's the Gap Girl's and they're eating again. What a surprise. All right. I don't want to give the whole thing away. Don't give it all away.

All right. Thanks, Dana. Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app. Give us a review, five-star rating, and maybe you can share an episode that you've loved with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.

Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced. and edited by Phil Sweet Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kirk Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answer on the show.

You can email us at fly on the wall at odyssey.com. And that's A-U-D-A-C-Y-I-com.