Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Chris Farley, Penis Surgery, & the Olympics!

Episode Date: February 9, 2026

Dana and David are back—this time confronting the undeniable truth that they may have the worst shoe game in all of comedy. From there, they debate who’s had more emails: Epstein or Dana. Plus, Da...vid shares an INSANE Chris Farley story, on-set tales involving Keanu Reeves, and Buzzing Around makes its return. Things heat up fast during the news, so buckle up. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:02:23 What a minute. Nick's having the agasms. What? She's having the agasms. Because he's like, well, when you come home to me, you're like a dial tone. Is that why? They put a turkey wiener on you and he goes, no, I want to do it in turkey. Ah, okay.
Starting point is 00:02:41 That doesn't mean. Does that make sense? That's his wiener. What is the gaucom? I try to go fested sometimes. That's what this is about. Oh, you're, you're, um, cheerful that shirt my shirt yeah is that is that what is reading i think so i got a blue one and that's
Starting point is 00:03:01 exact same size put it through the dryer it's twice as big what the fayok you know i i got clown last night i went to the comedy store and all the comics especially the female ones like you have the worst shoe game it was really embarrassing they all were like trashing my shoes your shoes yeah so they're looking down your shoes the worst part is it's true and they're go and those army pants are from the gap and I was like no they're not and of course they are because Dana had them on and I said they were cool and I went and got them they're khakis but let me tell you this like I you know our podcasts you're with Marcella that's out now oh yeah the one with Marcella yeah I posted the thing of the three of us and then I saw you guys and I said it's me
Starting point is 00:03:46 me and the my or the vanilla boys because you guys look like you're in a singing group with Your sweats. Oh, me and Marcello. Yellow and white. The vanilla boys. Oh, we were? Yeah. We needed a set last night.
Starting point is 00:04:02 He stayed in town a day. And so we went to dinner last night and then I went and got trounced by everyone about my shoes. It was real shoegate. I walked out of there like this. I was driving home like this one. Did you go on stage with a little bit of edge to you or they ridiculed you? Ridiculed you after. It was, I saw Whitney backstage.
Starting point is 00:04:25 Whitney looks great, by the way. I saw Whitney. Why does Whitney not look great? I know. Whitney is looks just great. She looks like a model. Well, Marcella came with us over there. And then I said, they'll just let him jump on.
Starting point is 00:04:38 And he felt where he didn't want to bump. So it was Whitney. It was Jim Norton. I think Santino. And then I think he went on there. Robbie Hoffman. Andy. Andy.
Starting point is 00:04:51 Andy Santino. Hey, Andy, who's a friend of the show. Friend of the show. Yeah, we will say that Marcello was funny on the show on the podcast. Up now. Yeah, he's got the goods, man. He's got likability, you know. And I've talked to two people to say,
Starting point is 00:05:11 whenever you see him, they saw him at the Grammings ago. You can't take your eyes off of him. Yeah. It's like that Frankie Avalon song. Who was that? Yeah. Four seasons. Four seasons.
Starting point is 00:05:22 Can't take much. No, but he's cool. I root for him. He was very sweet with us at the end of this show, you know. Oh, he's very nice. Well, it's the idea. I did meet along the way bitter comedians, even successful ones, the kind of you could tell at an edge and didn't want you.
Starting point is 00:05:39 I'm mad at you just for being young. You know, it's like, so stupid. So he's surprised we root for him. Yeah, he was fun on the show. He also brought it. He was fun and did jokes. He kept doing Sebastian, which was high hysterical. Yes, he had a gear I hadn't seen that swallowing words.
Starting point is 00:05:59 And as someone who does voices, I love those little tiny addendums, little escalation. Sebastian's usually like, my Uber driver is here. Are you gag? But Marcello is doing the other way going, I go, dinner. Yeah, I get sued. My wife comes in it. He does that wind up before it goes big.
Starting point is 00:06:21 It's funny. So everybody's honking now. Like you barely can hear what he says. I like when you go, I'm clipping my toe. That clip in the toenails. See, toenails is a great word for Sebastian. And he milks it out. It's such a compliment to Sebastian that he's got this rhythm that is so freaking infectious.
Starting point is 00:06:48 I mean, the only guy that's a bigger fan than us is Sebastian is this guy. Oh, that was good. That matches. Here's my uninspiring delivery. Dogs are funny. Your thing I know, isn't it kind of like, hey, buddy. I mean, do you have a catchphrase? No one knows what it is.
Starting point is 00:07:11 Rack them. I did say rack them the other night on stage. And I'll find them all people, like, You should do a director that says rackum after every joke. With a little sound of Biller Ball going. I said one last night. I said, I said the Epstein files came out.
Starting point is 00:07:32 Three million emails. It was so much to go through. I said, that was a busy boy. Like, he's got some 16-year-old girl laying on the hammock going, come on. And he's like,
Starting point is 00:07:41 hang on. I got to fire off another 15,000 emails before midnight. I'm on a schedule. I'm pacing out. Rack them. That was pretty good, rackum. I have, and I was judging the $3 million, and then I looked at my Gmail account. I have 54,000 emails.
Starting point is 00:08:01 Oh, I bet. Because I'd never go through and erase anything just in case. There's a little court case. But I did have a friend check did AI with the Epstein files, and he said, you're not in it. You can go on J-mail or some weird. Oh, I'm not in it or you? I'm not in it. I'll check for you if you want.
Starting point is 00:08:19 No, you don't have to. But even if someone mentioned me, you could be in it, you know. They're watching your special on the plane, guilty. What if they're, we're all on the plane to Epstein's Island watching Dana Carvey special? That's how you get mentioned. I don't know. I have another story from the road. Story.
Starting point is 00:08:44 I like stories. Oh, look who it is. Hey man, I'm a witness protection right now, but I'm sorry I created all this shit. Am I really dead? Who knows? I know. They say they hustled them out. The whole thing is going to matriculate for a while, but I want to hear, what's new in David's
Starting point is 00:09:03 world? Let's brand this story. Okay. What's new? David's world. The only story about when I went to Milwaukee, Appleton, and Chicago, other than a great crowds, I have to say. Uh, minus three when I got to Appleton.
Starting point is 00:09:21 I, I've heard more people doing that Michael Keaton joke where when it's three degrees out, you go, why be any? Um, and, uh, I did. And then they were all, I said I put the walk in Milwaukee. That was my big opener when I was there. But I only walked on the hotel room. And here's the only story that jumped out to me. I'm leaving. I'm at the airport. You know the guys that make you sign? I always bitch about John McEnroe's got a video out right now where he's doing it and he's got one guy that's chasing him and just keeps going just a picture. Just sign this. Just big.
Starting point is 00:09:57 And he keeps going, no. Any airport people is like, dude, get him out of here. And he keeps following him. And I'm like, he's going to knock him out. If McEnroe goes, he goes. So what happened? The guy doesn't know he's, I wasn't there. I just saw this video and I go, 99% of the people are going, just take the picture.
Starting point is 00:10:14 I was in alone going, don't. That kid is such a, he's been walking with him for a mile in the airport. Just, I've had that. It's not. Won't stop. Anyway, I get to this, that's not the story. The story is a woman is sitting down where you put your shoes on after the, you go through the shoe thing at TSA. So I go, can I sit with you?
Starting point is 00:10:35 And she goes, yeah, and she has a baby. And so she says, oh, my God, will you take a picture with my baby? But I don't like to hold the baby. So I said, yeah, you do. I don't want to break it. You know, if they done that to you where they go, oh. I've never No, I've asked you to
Starting point is 00:10:50 To hold their baby I have to say no Now I'm feeling like I've been left out They don't trust me No it's okay We just bought the picture We did it with David Spake Because he loves kids
Starting point is 00:11:01 I'm like this Anyway I go You hold I'll just get in it So we do some goofy picture So this guy goes I look up like he's standing there He's like a big Wisconsin guy goes I'm in a way
Starting point is 00:11:14 I don't want to interrupt I have a great Chris Farley story for you. I go, okay. And then I'm taking pictures. And then she wants me to leave a message for her husband. So we're doing all this. And he's still there. He goes, it's a doozy.
Starting point is 00:11:28 And I'm like, okay. So anyway, she's finished. I get up. I go, hey, buddy, what's going on? He goes, okay. Chris Farley, you know, he went to Marquette. I go, yep. And he goes, he, his older brother is friends with my brother.
Starting point is 00:11:45 And when he stayed there, Chris spent the night. And I go, right? And he goes, it's crazy, man. It's a crazy world. And I go, that's one for the books. I mean, that was the whole story. That was it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:01 Wow. I go. And then he did something crazy. And he's like, just the fact that like, they're all in the same room and they're all hanging out. Did you get, you go, you're killing me, man. Come on. I can't stop. And I go, hey, I go, I'm doing a book on boring stories. Can I use that one? No, I said, I said, oh my God, there's a movie there. That's got a beginning, but not a middle and not an end. So for not an end.
Starting point is 00:12:31 Well, you go up to a celebrity, you got to make sure you got a story to say, just saying Chris Farley slept over ain't going to hack. Yeah, me and my mustache are going to skedaddle. I like how you incorporated. the recent story. That's how I'm going to do it now, so it won't be ad hoc. No, that's good because Sam Elliott. We should say that once again, we're talking about professional people who get bobbleheads and stuff
Starting point is 00:12:59 and sell them, which is fine, but they've compete and they'll chase you around and stuff. It's not like in the olden days, it'd be like, gee, mister, I was hoping maybe one day I'd be on TV and tell jokes like you, you know, and you sign an autograph. This is very different. They don't even like
Starting point is 00:13:15 You. They just sign this and get out of my way. They don't like each other either because it's- Yeah, and the second you don't sign, they hate your guts. But anyway, that was John McEnroe. This time they were fine, but they were in Chicago. They were, they just line up and they wait. And if you don't talk to them, they walk with you. It's just, there's no winning.
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Starting point is 00:15:40 All right, hey, Dana, this is, I'm going to hit you with some information right now. Okay, ready. All right. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace. And Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform. I recommend when you want your online presence to look professional and actually work for you. I like everything I'm hearing.
Starting point is 00:16:02 I think it's a really good idea. You could be starting something new or growing what you already have. Squarespace makes it easy to claim your domain. You don't want to get that thing snaked. I like that. Build a beautiful site and get paid all in one place. This would really be good for someone like me. I got to be honest.
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Starting point is 00:21:56 Judy Reyes and John C. McGinley, scrub it back in at Sacred Heart Hospital for all new hilarious and heartfelt stories. And there's a healthy injection of colorful new characters, including a fresh group of newbie interns and co-workers slash nemesis, Vanessa Bayer and Joel Kim Booster.
Starting point is 00:22:15 The new season of Scrubs, Wednesdays at 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu. All right, we got Chelsea Handler. Chelsea, handler, old friend of the show. I see her out and bowed a lot. Always funny. Just did the Critics' Choice Awards.
Starting point is 00:22:54 We talked to her, and she was, of course, on fire, getting lives. Yeah, she's a pistol. She's got a lot of energy. She says what's on her mind. Very funny. Never been shy. Never been shy.
Starting point is 00:23:10 Yeah. We covered a lot. We talk about dating. We talk about stand-up tours. Who's fell in arena? is these days, all the ends and outs of her life, had a lot of laughs. Anytime you have a just straight up comedian on,
Starting point is 00:23:27 we have a lot of laughs. Yeah, we started laughing the minute we started, and it went all the way through. So here she is, Chelsea Handler. Chelsea Handler. Okay, so we covered, I have horrible shoes. We covered the fucking unbelievable Chris Farley story, one for the books.
Starting point is 00:23:46 That was, I mean, I was riveted. I laughed. I teared up a little. bit and um we laugh we walked away because we were all like did he skip something or was that he was that he was just excited to say his brother met well it's it's chris farley it is a big deal and so but but you'd think that the setup felt like chris did something very chris like you know ate a whole pie or did somersaults or something you know shoot up a baked potato and the skin was on it pretended a pillow was a marshmallow and roasted it, you know,
Starting point is 00:24:22 all the kind of stuff that Chris would do, you know, better than me. Anything, anything, anything, you know. Anything but what the story was. I said, well, that was a real roller coaster. Yeah, slow down, partner. I mean, you know, you're going to take my job away from me the way you're going.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Yeah, God, I'll be opening for you someday. That's what you say to him. What's that? No, they were nice. I mean, I would have said hi to the guy. He was nice. Everyone, Chris told me once, you're going to go to Wisconsin. That's where they all look like me.
Starting point is 00:24:59 And I went and I go, Chris told me this. And he was right. They're husky. Let me ask you a question about Milwaukee. Did you play Milwaukee? Please, yes. Okay. Here's my story.
Starting point is 00:25:11 It's not a big story. I just want your opinion. So I go out there. Larry Bubbles Brown's opening. And I can't remember the theater. It was all, you know, incredibly nice. people and it's really quiet out there you know when your opener's like holy tomatoes what it what is this yeah so i go out i do my set and they were incredibly nice but really really quiet so i came off
Starting point is 00:25:34 a little shook up as like ah because i always want to try to kill you know yeah and then the guy who's book and he goes oh you did great no one gets laughs in this room oh yeah it's totally normal i go maybe you should have told me before i went out that it's impossible yeah or pick a different theater i don't know maybe they're you know minneapolis nice i don't know i mean remember at norm were you at norm's funeral oh yeah don't say that you remember norm's funeral when uh i always killed and yeah it's all it's a hundred percent was it hundred percent i went up and i fell on the stairs walking up yes i remember you saying this stage in and then conan fell Yeah. First he caught me and then when he went up he fell and the stage hand I go god damn there's
Starting point is 00:26:23 there's something on that top step it catches your foot and he goes oh yeah everybody falls yeah couldn't give a fat fuck yeah tell somebody that you might fall fix it because Conan Conan's very agile you know I mean the idea if Conan can't get up the stairs with his kind of fast freda yeah me too yeah then and you with what shoes were you wearing my shoes were you wearing my shitty ones. They're all shitties, though, my shitty ones. Where there's a little tongue that comes out and curls around like a little clown. They're sort of red with green stripes. Yeah. Was that it from the McDonald collection. Now, what made you think that you could get away with shoes that ugly? Your words, not mine.
Starting point is 00:27:08 I have to say, Marcel and Robbie Hoffman were so concerned at my shoes. They sent me links of where I can get other ones. Just to just, to just. get my act they go this is one tweak it'll change your life i go well what what's a cool shoe for a stand-up comedian oh you'd be destroyed no offense but my my a six were were oh they look like old skateboard shoes they're just bad and i i agree that's the worst part i get it but i'm like i'm doing a set guys i'm not on the runway i'm not on the red carpet well the thing that you get dressed up for is in Dandelion, which is available now on Amazon, wherever you get your comedy shows.
Starting point is 00:27:48 What was on your feet? Dandelion's bad ones. I mean, even in movies when they put me, I go, most of the time it just kills my back. So she told me to wear K-Swiss or Stan Smith, and I go, hey, don't put me out there in flats. Yeah, I don't know what I mean? They're like a millimeter.
Starting point is 00:28:10 I'm like, Well, I did a movie. Give me some hokas. I'll be like, who. I did a movie. Hocas are great, man. I did a movie once. And the leading lay was great.
Starting point is 00:28:21 Super nice. But I think the director really liked her. And I think she's like 5-11 and had heels on. And I'm like, well, that's fine. You know, I'm not that tall. So it's cool. But every day I'd go into my trailer and I'd see the shoes that I was wearing. And they were adding like a half inch a day.
Starting point is 00:28:40 but not telling me. They didn't tell me. They just aren't. These aren't the same as yes. You can just put me on stilts. I don't give them. Tom Cruise collection shoes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:51 He's got like four inches buried. There's some sort of like AI machine. When he gets in and they go, well, they have an inflatable thing. And so if he's in a scene going, I don't know, I don't know what you're doing here. He actually goes and he can get himself taller
Starting point is 00:29:07 while they're shooting a take. Who is the actress, Olivia Diabo? Nope. No, she was in something. What was she in? She was in... Pop-knock.
Starting point is 00:29:16 World 2. Oh. Yeah, she is brilliant. I mean, incredible talent. Was she off the wonder years, possibly, or am I crazy? I don't know. Let's look at a clip. Let's become a clip.
Starting point is 00:29:34 I'm going to show you a picture of something. Okay. This is... Oh, yeah. So I have a part in a movie that comes out. You're kidding. April. Well, wait, wait, wait, hold on.
Starting point is 00:29:45 You, you? You? Yeah, I know. You, David Spade, you got a part in a movie? You go, are you still acting? Huh. And by the way, I think busboys might be creeping out, but I got more to come up. When can I see a rough cut?
Starting point is 00:30:00 I know, I know. I know my way around confusing, bad, silly comedies that need a needle trimming. Confusing bad silly. That's our poster. I've done a few of those that are confusing. But it's got you and Theo. So he's got two superpowers that if they're harnessed. It should be funny.
Starting point is 00:30:19 Because we're boss boys that want to be waiters. And I said in the trailer, you should say, two losers with the wispiest dreams possible. They're bus boys that want to be waiters. It would be two losers. I'm not even kidding. I mean, really, these are two losers. Even the actors are losers. It should be called losers.
Starting point is 00:30:42 But these two losers wanted to call it Bus Boys. That'll light up the marquee. Good luck being on Amazon Prime two days before you come out. Yeah. It's not in theaters. You can only find it on a kaleidoscope. Check YouTube first before you spend any money. No, it's great.
Starting point is 00:31:03 It's great. It's pretty much done. And so I did this movie and they said, here's a picture to release. and they say just throw it up and we'll show the picture. Did they you send that? There it is. Throw it up.
Starting point is 00:31:17 I'll show you a picture of that when they sent me. This is Keanu Reeves. It's called Outcome. And all these people go, you shaved your head for this. So I go, wait, I guess they think I'm, that's Jonah Hill. That's Jonah Hill. Yeah. And so I say at the bottom, hey, I have a part in this.
Starting point is 00:31:37 Like I'm part of this movie. Keanu, Camer Diaz, Jonah Hill. But this is a picture. And then next time I'll have one with me in it, but this is how they staggered out. What's the movie about? Let's just because you're... A movie outcome is Kianu plays like a Robert Downey superstar
Starting point is 00:31:54 who is a huge star, but ruins his career with drinking and drugs. So he finally goes clean. And after a year, no, a couple months of being clean, he's got his new big movie comeback coming out and the week it comes out he gets blackmailed and he's on a race to say I can't let this video out because it'll ruin me and how many guys like how much is it worth to you to have your comeback and you have to pay you know whatever
Starting point is 00:32:27 I'm just his neighbor of course are you playing David Speight no oh are you playing a guy I play a layered character No, I play. No, I won't even go this. It sounds, I mean, it really honestly. That's a cool idea. It sounds like a. You fucking ass.
Starting point is 00:32:48 A really cool movie. I mean, it's great. You got me at like his career. Wait a minute. You drank too much or something. Oh my God, Danny. You're really, you say it back to me is not as good as it is. It's Cameron Diaz is his best friend.
Starting point is 00:33:05 Matt and. Bomer. Does that name? Bomer? And they are the three of them, and I'm his neighbor when he lives in Malibu. So I'm kind of a Malibu guy. Look, and people might go, why is Dana doing that? It's just, it's all about how the movie's done. The byline is great.
Starting point is 00:33:25 I mean, it can be a, it could be a brilliant movie. I think Jonah Hill is incredibly bright. He wrote it, he directs it. I bet it's really good. It's super fun. I was a little starstruck around. Keanu, I have to say. He's a super, yeah, obviously he's a cool.
Starting point is 00:33:41 Keanu is, he has his own lane. I mean, he's so, I don't even know how to you describe him, but he is kind of the coolest of the cool. Like, there's no sense he's really in traditional show business. Like, he doesn't really, he's on his motorcycle. There was a plane that had an emergency land from Santa Rosa in, in Modesto or Bakersfield. and he was super chill about emergency landing. He didn't get a car to take him back to L.A.
Starting point is 00:34:11 He took the bus with everyone, make sure that the driver knew to drop everywhere. I mean, so. He let the plane land on his back. He does so many things I'm like, Keanu, do I have to give everyone? I said, it's hard to keep up with you. I've been on this movie four days.
Starting point is 00:34:25 Do I have to buy everyone a fucking motorcycle on the cast? Well, the only thing that gets him, and this is the only thing never say to him. And I did it by mistake once. I just walked up to piano. I said, hey, wait a minute, man. Were you Bill or Ted? Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:34:40 And then it was like, I ducked it. No, he was doing, I think, a play for Bill and Ted this year. So he's still full into that. And anyway, obviously fun to see him. And he was very chill. Like he had a lot of dialogue. I remember reading the script going, oh, my God, this guy has got a lot to carry. and he was just like super mellow unflustered unstressed beautiful wife hanging out oh yeah yeah he's married now
Starting point is 00:35:14 sorry ladies whoops he's off the market yeah he really is he's literally like one of the number one hot guys they like uh yeah i think so uh right whoa whoa You should have a Keanu one and go, whoa. Whoa. Uh-oh. It's not going to be Keanu. Somebody tell me when the fucking show starts. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:48 Hey, applause. I did see some positive reaction to the paddles. Look, I don't have to do them. I just do it. No, I saw a positive. I'm not going to do them too much. A lot of people like it. But it's a visual aid.
Starting point is 00:36:04 I have new ones, too, because you know what? is it makes me work on the impression. I've got this guy, and I've never really tried this guy. Now, why was there never an Emperor's New Brough sequel? I haven't got the impression. It's hard to just make up. You got to eat your hooks first, and then you can branch out. Well, fuck you, David.
Starting point is 00:36:29 Well, how about we do buzzing around, and then we'll... Yeah, let's do buzzing around. Okay. So buzzing around, for those of you at home, who don't know. Let's do the intro. I'm giving Dana a made-up scenario, right? Okay. Buzzing around is sponsored by five-hour energy.
Starting point is 00:36:49 And the return of their confetti craze flavor, bring big birthday energy, wherever you go with this. Plan your confetti craze party at www.5hourenergy.com or Amazon. There you go. available now so i'm going to give you i'll give you three impressions okay and then you have to make up a scenario trump because always funny you know trump yeah i mean you know how to do him yeah uh do you want carson why not okay and then you get dealer's choice for the last one all right Trump, Karchan, Cuba.
Starting point is 00:37:43 How about Tony, Tony Montana? Oh, Tony Montana. While you're thinking, I'm going to give a shout out. Karnak joke. Oh, good. A real one. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:37:58 UCLA, AFL, AFL, CIO. And then Ed goes, UCLA, AFLCI, and he goes, how do you spell Eucliflicio? That's a real one. A thing going that if it was funny, it was funny. If it was horrible, he could make it into the. He would just stare at the camera. Yeah, and it would be fantastic. And Ed would laugh.
Starting point is 00:38:29 It's great. Simpler time, simpler time. The best straight man in history. Okay. Let's see what you got. What's the scenario going to? be so oh big okay johnny carson let's have him doing his monologue uh have trump be his ed mcm okay and have tony montana be what was the band leader he the he's he's his band leader
Starting point is 00:38:51 okay should i have him call him trump yeah and and tony tony and donnie okay right which one's cars and he's hosting yeah he's doing his monologue he's doing himself okay show um there's been some interesting news out there Dony, interesting news. There's always news. And if you look at it, you look at the news, you can always get more news. I couldn't have said it better my show for me. Jeffrey Epstein was all over the news and apparently he had a lot of parties. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:21 Oh, sorry. That was right. A lot of parties, a lot of parties. And apparently he, a lot of people made whoopee at his party. What do you mean? What are you talking about? Well, Tony, that whoopee is just sort of like people having adult type fun. I understand, man.
Starting point is 00:39:42 You're talking about a whoope? What do you think, Tony? He doesn't know. We're looking at things like this. People call whoopee. They do it. They do it a lot. That these parties, they did a lot of things.
Starting point is 00:39:54 And they know how to do it. And quite frankly, if you look at it, many people are talking about it. I had the biggest economy. I don't think this is the time, Don't you? The biggest economy, the best company is a bit of a bit of a lot. but I've got to be a try to ruin it. I don't know if I'm still in Trump. Can you jump in there, somebody?
Starting point is 00:40:14 Look, David. David Spade is my guest. Oh, hey, guys. I was just wondering. Tony Montana. Do you understand what Whoopi is? You know what sex is? Have you ever had sex?
Starting point is 00:40:26 I know about Tasaros. Where in Cuba, you do a parades. You don't tell whoopi, you do a Cararez. Then you come in what about us. You do a wharros. You do a water. Oh, whoopi, that's like a kid show. That's like little kids and a five year olds
Starting point is 00:40:43 at a little birthday party. But when you do, too, paccados, everything goes, packarrados. You know, you know what? I think we got it to put them. We got it to put them. We got to get them out of here. Tony, Montana.
Starting point is 00:40:57 Oh my God, it came full swing. Ice came into this. Sorry, I wasn't, this is too incendiary. Listen, that was Busing around. Go to a commercial. No, it was good. That was buzzing around.
Starting point is 00:41:10 Sponsored by Five Our Energy's. Confetti Crazy flavor. Hold it up. Back by popular demand. Confetti crazy. We're the worst show. It tastes like the best birthday cake ever with its rich, buttery and vanilla e flavors.
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Starting point is 00:41:47 Nice. That's good. You know, we really threw people back to the old Carson show. Right. Right. It was a little bit different. Maybe we should trim out the ice cream. You didn't call a birthday cake one.
Starting point is 00:42:01 Oh. This one's the birthday cake one. You can tell by the confetti. Listen, I have to ask you a question if we get into the news stories. Let's go to the stories. I saw a couple of press junket interviews for Wuthering Heights. Now, I did not see Wuthering Heights. I don't really even know what it is.
Starting point is 00:42:23 It's Emily Bronte or something. Unrequited love. I think it was first in the 1940s. They've done different incarnations of this story. Okay. I have to say, it's got two of the best looking people in it. Margot Robbie, arguably one of the prettiest out there. Jacob Allorty, who every woman's in love with because he's 612.
Starting point is 00:42:45 He weighs 99 pounds. He's ripped. He's ripped, shredded. But she was doing a press junk and stuff. And, you know, they like to be like, oh, we had such a great time. And it's just a fine line between she's married. And the stuff she says is like too effusive for me. Okay.
Starting point is 00:43:04 Okay. If you have the, okay, here's him. If you have the opportunity to share a film set with Marco Robbie, make sure you're within 10, five to 10 meters at all time. You know, watching out drinks tea, how she eats her. That's not that great, but he was, she was saying, like, I can't be breathing the same air as him. I'm lost without him. I feel like a little kid without Jacob. He's my blanket. And then there were rings made on the set for them to wear together when the movie's over. She's so. codependent I developed that quite quickly with Jacob we didn't like to be apart from each other ever and he's so hard he's so beautiful to look she was just it went on and on and at one point I was reading it going if I'm the husband what do you do there's a it it's too far at a certain point in my opinion yeah I think that I don't know anything about the Nicole Kidman Keith Urban situation but I remember her
Starting point is 00:44:04 her press junk is. On baby daddy or whatever. Baby girl. And she said, I just had, I couldn't have an orgasm anymore. I just had so many orgasms. I just was exhausted. I couldn't have orgasms. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:44:18 And Keith Irman's in Nashville, the guitar watching a tag. What a minute. Nick. What a minute. Nick's having agasms. What? She's having orgasms. Because he's like, well, when you come home to me, you're like a dial tone.
Starting point is 00:44:31 Is that why? Because there's no orgasm going on. It's probably not really natural. For a spouse to have no response to that would just be interesting. Of course. It's bad enough they have to make out an FUCK the whole. But then the blast it to the world privately. And I would be jealous of him anyway.
Starting point is 00:44:55 And he's dating Olivia Jade. So he's dating someone but not married. It's just all, I think it just. it just it's just something to debate and we tackle the issues right we're never we're never right what would be the really positive take about that like they're just really artists and this is just their spiritual thing and their spouses well jacob's not married he's like 19 right he's between 19 and 40 i have no idea but he but he was also was he on euphoria i think yeah girls girls love this suit. So I think they're taking a page out of most movies, but most recently is the one with
Starting point is 00:45:35 Sidney, Sweeney and Glenn Powell, where they were saying, oh, my God, are they dating? Oh, they're kissing. Oh, they're hanging out after the set. Oh, they were just canoodling in a booth. Yeah. This is them. This is. And that's what they're trying to recreate that because that movie Yeah. All About You. I forgot the name, but it did well. The Pratt Junkett person comes into Margo Ravi's trailer. This is good film. We're going to get ready to get some press going. And do you have anything to say about Jacob? She's like, oh, he's terrific.
Starting point is 00:46:04 He's a great actor. We had a good time. He's fun. And I think he's a great actor. Hopefully we really delivered a performance. Does you think of anything like something like you find him irresistibly attractive? Could we start there a little bit? You need his oxygen.
Starting point is 00:46:23 He's unbelievably sexy. How do I live without him after being with him? Why do I dream about him every second of every day? Now, why do I scream out his name when I have an orgasm with my husband? I mean, anything you can give me would be great. And then Jacob Eldorty, I don't know. El Dority. That's the far this story.
Starting point is 00:46:44 I like to shimmy up his long legs, like a native boy looking for a coconut. The great Phil Harmon. Is that what he says? Chick-Hazzard. I'm telling you. I like to shivvy up. up a coconut tree like a native looking for a coconut. I can't remember.
Starting point is 00:47:03 There's something like that. It was chick hazard. Yeah. Anyway, okay, next story, but that's a real, that's a good. That's interesting. Yeah. Interesting is a strong word, but it's something. I'm putting it out there.
Starting point is 00:47:16 Okay, billionaire dies and penis enlargement surgery. Oh, is this real. Surgeons have been banned from performing plastic surgery after this A diamond dealer. Yeah. Diamond dealer. Oh, he died of a heart attack. What happens during?
Starting point is 00:47:36 Why do people die of heart attacks during surgery, Dana? Is it something with the anesthesiologist is doing too much or something, you know? Well, first of all, but if you go under surgery, any kind of surgery, you should have a cardiac checkup or you should make sure. Right. the edge he may have had some plaque in his arteries and and it just so happens i don't know if there's association with penis enlargement and heart attacks but i don't know yeah i mean i do know i'm not going to tell you but uh doing some light research on this over the last seven years i think it's too risky well the weird part was that they the wife insisted they complete the operation
Starting point is 00:48:23 even though he'd passed it away. Really? Yeah. It's like, what is that about? Yeah. A lot of these you find out were like unaccredited doctors or they went to a different country that wasn't quite up the standard. I know.
Starting point is 00:48:38 I guess Turkey's a big place. Syria, you know. They said, put a turkey wiener on you and he goes, no, I want to do it in Turkey. Ah, okay. That doesn't mean. Does that make sense? That's his wiener. Just the gobble,
Starting point is 00:48:52 I mean, it talks. Yeah, it's a turkey one. Is that even? From a turkey. We shouldn't do these late in the day or two times. I don't know. I don't know when that's going to make sense, never. My shirt is so wrinkly.
Starting point is 00:49:07 It's just, it's kind of silky golf shirt. And what happens is you can't sit up straight in these chairs. Oh, Mandami and AOC. Oh, David, don't worry. That's a scary story. We just have a lot of rules here. Okay. I'm Mamdani.
Starting point is 00:49:22 That's it. Everything's going to be okay. Yeah. What's ours is yours, okay? Because we want to make sure everybody shares. Okay. Yeah. You, I'll give anything to you and you'll give it to me.
Starting point is 00:49:38 Do you like me now? Oh, it sounds flurdy. Oh, my God. You're so cute. Whoa. Starting rumors. Oh, boy. That's a press junkin moment right there.
Starting point is 00:49:49 I love your byline. talking to them I like just I think it's real so I have to react in real time well I don't know what to do with him he's got kind of a cool voice it's a little more soft spoken
Starting point is 00:50:02 he's very smiley I'll get we will get away from the darkness of capitalism to the warm embrace of collectivism right Lauren Michael's not a fucking chance Lauren turns into the predator oh
Starting point is 00:50:18 Marcella was doing Lauren, wasn't he? A little bit. He wouldn't do it. He kept saying, I do a good Lauren. Yeah, and then he did spousht. Okay, what's the next story? No, he didn't commit. That's all right.
Starting point is 00:50:40 He did make us talk in Spanish. Like two idiots. I know. Well, yeah. You know when Valentine's Day is sneaking up and you realize you need a gift that actually lands? If you've ever thought, I hope she likes this. I got a shortcut for you.
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Starting point is 00:52:34 Concerned by your gambling or that if someone close, you call 186653310 or visitcomnetontera.ca. House cleaner goes viral after sharing the note her clients left her. to our cleaner. We hit 100 mini ducks around the apartment. We do this to ensure a job well done. Please leave all 100 ducks in this jar. Oh my God. So she's got to go find them all.
Starting point is 00:53:04 So that's, is that a trap? Yeah, it's to make sure she's cleaning every corner. Look, there's a picture. Here's one behind the couch. Oh, I see. So you, but here's one by the pipes. Yeah. My housekeeper would find four out of 100.
Starting point is 00:53:24 It's rude. Here's one in the tree. Hi, water me. I had it too much to drink. They talk? Do they walk? Do they do anything? Dude.
Starting point is 00:53:37 Is that a duck? It looks like a mouse. That's in the toady. I'm on a sponge. Anyway, that was, I would be offended. Oh, the rumor that Sandler, there was an Instagram that I swear all my friends saw where, I think it's an AI one where he goes, Adam Sandler's daughter was rejected by Chanel when she, it shows pictures of everyone, but it's not from this story.
Starting point is 00:54:07 You know what I mean? So it looks like it is Chanel's store. I think it was Chanel. And then she went to buy a purse and like pretty woman, they said, dear, I don't know if you can afford this. his daughter Sadie, who's lovely. And so they go, she called her dad and he came down. And he said, don't you do this to my daughter? And he bought every purse on the shelf.
Starting point is 00:54:28 It's absolutely a million percent made up. Million percent. Like every single moment of it is made up. Every moment. And everyone they called me goes, did you hear what happened at him? I go, do you saw this too? I go, that couldn't have happened. No.
Starting point is 00:54:45 And they were like, but I didn't ask, did you ask him? And then everyone's telling me to ask him. I go, I don't want to waste my question with this embarrassing, just to call him and say this. So I talked to Jackie. No, you went for. Jackie. Well, Jackie asked him something. And I said, Jackie, I'm fielding all the people hitting me about this stupid story.
Starting point is 00:55:09 And she goes, I know, isn't that ridiculous? But I was thinking, he is protective of his daughters. He, but he's not that showy where he'd go, watch this. I'll buy everything. And you'll all get a big commission. I mean, it's like, it doesn't show them. They see him and they already feel stupid. Well, there's a flaw in the story.
Starting point is 00:55:32 Yeah, what is it? Well, when they said you can't afford this, what was she dressed like a homeless person? I mean, what do you mean? There's like a little mini handler. Did she have a credit card or a debit card? Well, it's a flaw because. I asked you a question. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:55:46 Um, he, she had, she tried to put it on her Miley Cyrus fucking membership card for Miley World from last week's show. If you know, you know. Um, no, she, uh, here's she, she probably was wearing a hoodie. By the way, every kid wears like a hoodie that matches some sweats. Yeah. You can't tell who's got money. Yeah, and Beverly Hills.
Starting point is 00:56:07 It didn't happen. But if it did, she'd be like, Daddy, they won't let me buy a purse down here at the store. And, and Adam goes, what do you want? long from me. Yeah. I can't think of a good. There's no way Adam would. What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:56:22 What do that? He walks up to letting and goes, you blew it. That's a good gift I send to people. It's Sandler going, you blew it. So now that everyone's cleaned up. And also, me and you didn't ski down that mountain. That's the other one. People talk.
Starting point is 00:56:41 Or they go, Dan Carney and David Spade are professional skiers in their spare And everyone was like, you ski good. I'm like, this guy isn't even trying to sound like it's real. I know. I had a Uber driver like that. I guess I don't know where he's from. You ski good, Mr. I saw. I see you fly down ice many time.
Starting point is 00:57:03 I saw click bait. Where are you from? Me born in Tarzana. Oh, you sound like that? I thought you were Tarzan. Me, Jane. Are you, Gag. Gack. That's a that's a Sebastian joke because I walk out the street with my Uber.
Starting point is 00:57:21 Are you good gag? Because it's all like 19 consonants and a Yeah, it's always like a funny name. Yeah, but we'll be gag. Gaggaggaggi, I. Okay. Let's do another story. We're really, oh, we'll wrap it up soon. I'm just getting punch you. We're doing too good. So we should pull back. Yeah, let's pull back. Because then we want to match. Oh, our episodes. I thought you'd be interested in this story. already okay click and I see it okay 70 year old racing here we go that is me going to air one when I heard shakes are only 72 dollars that is 70 70 you don't even look 70 that's a lie
Starting point is 00:58:11 look I mean here's the thing I mean the main thing when I would watch guys it's 70 race when I was a kid at indoor track meets. They'd be in the blocks. It'd be ready, set, and they'd get up and they'd be like stiff like, oh, like just no mobility, you know, the hip didn't know. So for a guy to stride out like that with turnover like that at 70, yeah, he's maybe getting a little extra something and his Cheerios. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:58:39 Oh, he's got five hour energy. Okay, there we go. No, you know what? Wee, wee. No, but I sent you one to yourself to your text about like a high school kid that broke the mile record. Remember that? It's getting ridiculous. Literally, ladies and gentlemen, the 1500 one mile race is being dominated by teenagers.
Starting point is 00:59:03 There's 19 year olds running 345. There's now a 16 year old. It means nothing to anyone. Rent. It's really fast. These would be world record. Yes. You know.
Starting point is 00:59:15 And any other. Not too long ago. So I don't know what's going on. I thought when they were saying Lindsey Vaughn wiped out, Lindsey Vaughn's a friend of the show. We should have her on during the Olympics. When they said she wiped out and hurt her knee, I said, because they didn't say what it was,
Starting point is 00:59:32 but I thought, my first thought was, is it already the Olympics? What do they keep saying 2028? Well, the winter one throws us off. Why are they two years? ahead that's that's not they try to alternate it but yeah i don't like it i've never liked it because there's no hype right now it's just like oh the olympics are on in 10 minutes what oh it's the one where they shoot a gun and ice fish or whatever that one's called well i don't know how
Starting point is 01:00:01 many events they have compared to track and field the summer games have swimming they it's so comprehensive it's easy to promote it yeah but i guess they have cross-country skiing. Come on Hans, let's go shoot around. You know, they have all that. That's what's that one called? They ski and then shoot a gun. Yeah, pentathlon. Ski and shoot ski, shoot one other thing. Let's go faster. Fees or sure. My name is Carter Ferti. We win the gold medal. Guess what? Question. Who has the highest recorded V-O-2 max? That's heart, lungs, power for endurance. Michael Phelps.
Starting point is 01:00:45 Nationality. It's not Michael Phelps. Nope. Uganda. Norwegian cross-country skiered. 94. Scared? Are you afraid of?
Starting point is 01:01:02 Why are you frightened? Why are you frightened by facts? Don't make me do another puppet, man. No, no. Don't. Don't even start. Do you remember Greg Lusainas? What was his name?
Starting point is 01:01:16 Greg McGainess, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I got you. He was a diver. Okay, I did you say. Okay, let's go one more story. Then I got to let you go. Yeah, I got to get some five-hour energy. You got to water that fake plant.
Starting point is 01:01:28 Okay, let's see what this is. I don't even know what this is. Look at the monitor and give the full name of this person. No, wait. Oh, my God. Are they serious? Or is that A.R. We shouldn't end on that one.
Starting point is 01:01:48 I don't know. Maybe they just think it looks like him. I don't know. No, it doesn't look. I don't know another one. I think it's AI. All right, let's go back to the tape. You don't know anything about AI. I know. I am AI. Believe me. Well, I don't like this is horror displays. Let's just play it. We'll get rid of it.
Starting point is 01:02:08 Oh, this person says they have to hold things because they have no gravity in their body. In their body. I guess it's not going to. It might not work. It's so fucking dumb. If they let go, it's just going to float up. She has to carry a bag of... Oh, and what are they... What do they pick it up? She removes the bag.
Starting point is 01:02:32 She floats. Ready? Oh, you float it up. You have to hold her. This person claims they need a bag. I think it's funny. It's like a day plane kind of. See, look, she's floating.
Starting point is 01:02:55 It's Peter Pan. Hold her down. She's floating away. She's floating away. All right, that's enough. It's so dumb, but she really clung. Fly her like a kite just straps up to her ankle and fly her up. God, it was too loud, too.
Starting point is 01:03:14 Anyway, we'll end on that banger. Someone was almost going to float away. You float the way. The thing is they're like, I, gravity doesn't affect me, so I have to carry this sandbag with me. And then one's like, prove it. And then she proves it. And I think people give her money. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:03:31 I think off camera. She goes, oh, and then everyone kind of lifts her up and goes, oh, there she goes. David Blaine's got to be involved. That's there, David Blaine. And it's not that good. Yeah. Come on, man. David Blaine's in Vegas.
Starting point is 01:03:43 That's a show I'd go see. Oh, that guy's the greatest. I mean, he's good. Yeah. You know, because magician. know how they do it but the way he does it in his patter and everything yeah like pick a card and now let's let's walk over to this department store and go and the exact card you marked is in a shoe we were leaving a charity gig and i was with rosy and he came up and he meets her and then he goes
Starting point is 01:04:13 we you sign a card yeah and then he talked to us for a while and then he and then he and he said look in your purse and her card it was so crazy everyone's like we're just like i have no idea what's going the one that i is online it's harrison fort he's in harrison ford's house in the kitchen yeah and he looks like very authentic and he's doing cut the deck cut the deck harrison for he gets the card marks it puts it back in the deck just so there he's not even next to harrison ford and he goes your card's not in the deck anymore he goes what do you mean hey get off my airplane off my airplane. So he goes through the deck and the card's not there.
Starting point is 01:04:53 And then he goes like four feet away, there's a tray of fruit. And he says, just pick a fruit. Oh, my God. And he picks a fruit in Harrison Ford. What is this? I'm going to tell George Lucas. Sorcery. Now, open the coconut.
Starting point is 01:05:10 Cut it and then open it up. And then he sees his card with this weird little signature. And then Harrison Ford pauses. Doesn't say anything. says get out of my house that's a great ending you know my that's a good clip yeah because like yeah we should have david blaine on our show and have him make us disappear or something i like david blaine there's also mentalists but you know i get scared of that stuff um okay well that was a good show good hair support story we'll see you next week thanks for coming on another edition
Starting point is 01:05:44 of fly on the wall without a guest hey guys if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app. Give us a review, five-star rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is Produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment.
Starting point is 01:06:27 Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answer on the show. You can email us at fly on the wall at odyssey.com. That's A-U-D-A-A-C-A-C-E-A-C. c y-c-y-i-com

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