Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Chris Rock LIVE in LA

Episode Date: May 14, 2026

David and Dana were LIVE at the Orpheum Theater with special guest, Chris Rock. They trade Michael Jackson stories, remember going to McDonalds with Michael Jordan, and Chris looks back on the first time he met Adam Sandler. The also discuss how he almost got to record the voice for Donkey in the Shrek movies, and why Tupac didn't like Chris. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Guys, we got an exciting one. This is not a repeat. This is a new version of Chris Rock, live at the Orphium Theater, which we have shot and had a blast. It's always fun with an audience, especially with Chris. Yes. And we're out there in three chairs. We got our cameras. Pretty big audience.

I mean, Netflix is a joke. It's like 18 million shows. But Chris was great. We learned a lot. We went in some places very funny. I mean, he just has a lot of stories that involve a lot of well-known people. There were some pretty fascinating things on them. We were pulling some names out of them.

And God, we went back to S&L again. We always do that. But there's always something. We went back to pre-S&L, how he met Sandler, old Eddie Murphy stuff, where he met Eddie. A lot of great stuff that I don't remember doing that in the first time we talked. No, no, I learned a lot. and he was great. We had a great time.

We're going to now tell, you know, repeat some of the main jokes. So you go ahead. No, we're not. But I have to say, I did laugh a lot. He didn't walk through it. He came in in a good mood, excited. The crowd was into it. And it's one of those fun ones where you just start laughing.

And we're just kind of all over the place cracking each other up. Yep. Great time. No further ado. What do you call it? No further ado. ado? Is that a phrase? Close enough.

With no further ado. Without further ado. The one and only Chris Rock. You're over here. Now he gets suspicious mind what? Funny. Wow.

Wow. Wow. People do. Okay. Hello. There you go. Can you see? Wow.

The downtown. This is kind of. We are not doing stand-up. Just so you know. Everyone pours out. No, we decided where's the most dangerous place

we can do this? And what's the farthest? And it took some work. Ted Sarando said, 6 o'clock, way downtown. I said, Teddy, I am in, brother. So, Chris, thanks for coming.

Chris is here, and he's ready. I'm here because I want to be here. This has nothing to do with my contractual obligations to Netflix and Ted Sarandos. Yeah. Three, nothing. Nothing to

do with that. It's all just... Nothing to do it my three special deal. And a pod. Well, we appreciate you coming. Chris is one of my good buddies. A little background on them. We did the old S&L together. That's where I met him. Right. Right. Such a

legitimately one of my Best buds in the showbiz world and would do anything for this guy. So I'm really glad to see him in general. It's good to see him here. Dana's fine. But it's... 91. 91.

I know. I don't like to tell the exact numbers. 91. Michael Jackson was alive. Yep. And you just got out of high school. And an outstanding citizen. Michael Jackson was killing you.

You're right. 91 was it good. I waited on. Michael Jackson as a bus boy waiter in 1975. Get out of here. And I would bring him a plate of raw carrots. And they were playing the Circle Star Theater, the Jackson 5. And there he was.

A plate of raw carrots? Raw carrots. And he would look in a mirror. Was he fucking rabbits? I don't know. Janet was jumping up and down on the bed. She's like eight years old. I go, please don't do that.

Oh, that's what? Wow. Yeah, he was probably 14 or 15. Wow. Yeah. And he was looking in the mirror and I brought him the carrot. and I got kind of familiar, and I said, you know, you could do a little something, and I just dropped it. I felt terrible.

That was pretty good. Long way to go. Joe Jackson ordered. So Chris Rock is our guest. Yes. Oh. I don't know if we're going to keep getting applause off that. We're going to keep trying.

Joe Jackson ordered three eggs and a belt. Anyway, I saw the movie. No, wait, I'll tell you Michael Jackson's story, Chris. So 91, when you came in, what was your first? impression of... Sorry, I didn't know, were you starting? I did it. The monitors have a lot of reverb. I feel like it's really kicking back.

If they, the mics are a lot. Is that found out? I don't know. I can't really understand what you're saying. So that's not a good thing, I guess. No. It is, Rock, you know more about this. Are we getting a lot of kickback on these monitors? You were a sound engineer. It feels echoy. Did you guys do a sound check?

Wouldn't that be great? Yeah. That's what I do normally. Wouldn't that be professional? No, we just said. I forgot about the sound check. We just didn't have time. No, it's wonderful.

I left my house at noon. I was planning on getting there for a sound check. Oh, someone's screaming already. We've just added a second show. That's unbelievable. You guys can say. I was going to tell you a story that is so uninteresting, I'm going to tell it.

I did, this is my only brief Michael Jackson. Oh, okay. Sex story. No, this is just my brief interactions. I was out in town. I had a joke up Michael Jackson when I first moved out here, just throw away joke. And then the director of his videos was doing his latest one,

Liberian girl, which wasn't a super banger, but it was on. The director of three amigos? No. God, I can't remember his name right now. Filmophiles. He did a lot of commercials and stuff. Anyway, Jim Yukich, maybe. Anyway, so he says, hey, I'm doing this video and we're just having all cameos. It was like Dan Akker. It was like big stars. And he goes, do you want to be in it? We're just talking and doing stuff. You could just say your joke. So I said some stupid joke about it, but I was so excited to be in it. And then I wasn't in the video. And then I saw the director, maybe three years ago. And I said, hey, he goes, do you remember me? I was a director.

of that video you did? And I go, oh, yeah, I wasn't in it. And he goes, oh, that's right. He goes, you know what? Funny story. I didn't want to hear it. He goes, I, Michael would never talk to me about editing, but I showed him a cut, and he called me in the middle of the night and said, hey, who's David Spade? And he goes, oh, he's a comedian, and he just had a joke about you. So he put it in there, and he goes, take him out. And that way, and he goes, that was the only note for the whole video. Take me out. And I was like, and he goes, anyway, good seeing you. And I'm rule. Well, now that's what I got to live with about Michael Jackson.

So, anyway, we got time for one more. My Michael Jackson story. You got a Michael Jackson story? We got rock carrots. We got cut out. Chris. You're up. My Michael Jackson story, it's a weird.

Okay, I got two. Okay. No, no. The first time I hosted the Oscars, there was like a crew guy, a guy in the crew, like a gaffer or something. Yeah. And I guess he used to work at Michael's house or whatever because Michael always did all sorts of stuff

And the guy literally gave me his phone Somebody wants to talk to you Oh wow And he gives me the phone saying hey Chris Michael Break a leg, okay And that was it That's better than mine already Yeah that's fucking cool though

Man of very few words but to the point When was that? How long was it? It was the first time I hosted so yeah yeah Because I remember when he passed away Was in the Woodman's Chocolate Wasted scene at In grownups Yeah we were in uh

In uh yeah Yeah On the picnic tables We went to lunch And someone said it I don't think we had Instagram or anything But someone, it's the rumor went around where I was like Oh my God, he just passed away

And I remember Mama Rizoni Your mother-in-law in the movie Yes Was very sad It was hitting her very hard And I told her it wasn't for sure That it was just a rumor Because she had to have a softer land

She was totally already started crying. Yeah. Yeah. But that was, uh, that was in grown-ups. Aplaus. Thank you. 181 million domestic. 3,000 million.

You guys all got a car from Adam, I understand. Where's your car? Did you get a car? I, I'd prefer money, but, uh, yeah. Yeah. But we did get a car. You got a car. You got a car.

What kind of car? Everyone loves here. Feel good stories about rich people getting richer. You star in the movie, you're globally famous, and you get a car. Yes. Nice. Everyone's like, oh, good for them. Definitely, right.

In the homeless capital of the world. Don't believe me. Walk outside. Anyway. We're literally inside. India is outside. We stumbled into India. So I heard the other night you guys

all went to the comedy store. I missed out. It sounds like fun. So you rolled with a pretty fun crew. The comedy store is always fun like comedy seller. When you go in, there's tons of comics. But because this is the festival,

they're all kind of smashed in. And when they're lost or don't have a sense of direction, you can always go to the comedy store. And so you went in. I heard it was you, Chappelle, Kanye and Louis. Did anybody go on? Or you just go in there to go watch?

Wait, Kanye West and Luis C.K. Yes. Okay. The canceled all stars. Because Dave should. Somehow Rushmore of cancel. It fits somehow. How do you fit into that group?

I don't understand that. Chris is the nicest. You don't fit. I, you know, I'm like ludicrous. I'm cool with everybody. Sure. So you go and do you watch or do you just, does anybody go on? Dave went on.

Shane Gillis, too. Oh, right. Another home run hitter. He's doing very well. He's doing all right. So, yeah, Dave went on, Shane, Louis, then me. Then Dave comes on and brings out Kanye. What was his McDonald's bit?

People, I mean, Kanye's like, I remember when people would do Letterman, and he was just so famous. somebody said it was like sitting next to a $5 bill, you know? Yeah. And Kanye, you're like, is that a wax figure of Kanye? Like, he's just that famous. Like, is that the real guy? Yeah, is that the real guy, yeah, yeah.

And what does he say up there? He's not saying much. Yeah. He gets away with low effort. Right now, he's not saying much. But he's a firebrand. Talking about his love of Seinfeld. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's funny. One time I was at the Chateau. Chris, I was at the Chateau, and about two months ago, and then a girl walked by, and I go, I said, some lady just walked by a full yoga or ballerina outfit. And then I go, I wonder if there's something going on here. And then I saw Kanye. And I go, oh, that's his wife, right? That's his wife.

Yeah, yeah. And it kind of made sense. Like, this is, she dresses in a unique, like, she's always going to the Met. or something. Yeah, but it's weird. If you talk to her, she's so smart. It's like talking to Diane Sawyer. Really? With huge tits. Yeah. Okay, let's all think, visualize that for a second. I like, she's like, yeah, I got it. Good. Beautiful. I kind of, when you meet him, I met him at SNL on the 40th, and him and Kim came around and they both had deep blue eyes. And I just, thought, shit, I guess they have blue eyes.

I didn't think they had contacts. That was really weird. That was just a blue eye night, you know? Yeah. Remember when, you remember when, I'm doing Chris Farley? You remember when he was going to attack me and Mike? We were doing Wayne's World. We had Kanye.

They had people holding him back like he was going to attack us. I remember that. Was it a joke? It was only 10 years ago. Was he mad? No, he was fake mad. He was great in the sketch. Oh, did he host?

No, no. It was the 40th at the end of the 40th anniversary. Sorry. I didn't make the 50th. The plane was late. Oh, are you going to go to the 60th? But Lauren will be 112? It's that thing like, you know, Lauren always said, don't stop. He always said that to me. You never stop. And he said Sidney Poitier told that to him.

And then he stopped. Did Sidney Poitier stop? I got nothing. This is podcasting. No, you got a lot. It's paid right now. I did a song with Kanye. I did.

Anyway, anyway. Well, what do you mean? Let's hear a couple bars. No, no, no, no. I'm on one of those albums, one or two of them. Do you talk or do you say? Did you rap? I just talked.

I just talked. I just talked. This song called Blame Game. And, um... Yeah. The song called Blame Game, uh, he coached me two, four hours.

sessions in the studio that he cut down to about three minutes or two minutes. Yeah. And yeah, he's kind of a genius. So, you know, whatever. I did that. Is it hard to stay focused talking to him or is he, he's probably an interesting guy, right? Oh, no, he's a very interesting guy. Oh, he did something that was brilliant.

I don't know if he was the first one, but he'd have people sampling beats and rhythms and stuff and he would just walk around, listen, change that, do that, get this, go that, you know. So he's got an ear. That is what he's doing. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, everyone, it's Stavros Halakis, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast, Stavi's World.

Each week we're joined by great guests like Josh Safi, Eric Andre, Caleb Heron, and more. It's sort of an interview show, but really, we're just messing around, making each other laugh, and hopefully making you laugh while you're washing the dishes or grocery shopping or on a long drive. Plus, I take listener calls where we have honest conversations about dating life and everything in between.

imagine if your therapist was a vulgar degenerate whose office was in a Greek diner. No scripts, no polish, and absolutely no holding back. Listen to Stavi's World wherever you get your podcasts. Hi everybody, I'm Maury Povich. On my podcast on par with Maury Povich, I'm going to sit down with the icons, the stars, and the faces at the very center of today's big cultural moments. With everyone from comedians Josh Johnson, Dan Soder, Leon Morgan, to newsmakers Don Lemon, Joy Reid, Aaron Parnas,

and so many more. So join me for new episodes every week because nothing is off limits. Great conversations. They're always on par. Follow and listen to On Par with Mari Povich, wherever you get your podcast. When you talk about either top five, the movie,

are your top five rappers the same top five as they were when you filmed top. My top five rappers, it probably changed since top five of the movie. I don't know. I would put Kanye number one. I would, I don't know, Kanye, I'm really loving Kendrick.

I, the most, Kanye, Kendrick, I mean, God, top five. Two-Pock didn't like me. Wait a minute, that's a chapter.

Tupac didn't like me. Tupac did not like me. Oh, I didn't hear that. See eye to eye on everything. Snoop. Snoop's very, very underrated, but he could get everybody up. Jay Cole. He's the most popular man in America.

Okay. And then... Does Eminem get any shooting? Then Jay-Z? Then Eminem. Interesting. Just on the outskirts. I'll go ice cubed in Eminem.

I like Eminem. Eminem is fine. Yeah. Eminem is to be listened to. You know what I mean? Eminem is strictly for your car. He's not like... What could you and Tupac not get along about?

That sounds so funny. It was weird. It was... Because I had the same problem. I rubbed him wrong. I mean, A, you know, it's always the same shit fucking the same girls, right? That's the first thing, right? Oh.

It's always like, yeah, I saw it. Whatever, right? He always won that battle. But, um... No, I remember. One year at the MTV Awards, I presented some award. Uh-oh. And Shug Knight was in the audience,

and I did, like, some joke about Shug or whatever the fuck. And then there was an after-party at Bryant Park. And, you know, and I just had that special Bring the Pain. And Kanye and... Big one. And Tupac was like, what's up with all that niggas and black people shit? Like, like... And he kind of...

He kind of stepped to me, but I didn't, because Tubac was not that big. Everybody, he photographs big, but he's not that big. I was like, you know, I was pretty skinny. I'm still pretty skinny, so a skinny guy can't wait to fight a skinny guy. You know what I mean? You're like, really? But nothing happened.

Nothing happened. But we definitely had a little, like, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was definitely some mean mugging going. on. And I remember that, and I just remember that night, everybody was scared of Shug. And like, like, Eric B. Remember Eric B and Raq Kim? And Eric, like, Eric B used to live in my neighborhood. And he was such a big drug dealer that he, like, before he had a record out, the guy had a Rolls-Royce on fucking, on like Myrtle Avenue, okay? Like, that kind of drug dealer.

That's good. And he was like, why'd you talk about Shug? I'm like, if this guy is scared of Shug, we're all in trouble. I think even white people knew to be scared of sugar. Hammer was like, why'd you do that? Hammer. MC Hammer. MC Hammer?

MC Hammer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've met them all. Yeah. I'm like Black Gump, man. I've met them all. I've been through every so many weird eras of showmen. It was hammer the host to ad music, Eddie Murphy, Michael Jackson.

Did does anyone you... Kurt Colbane? Didn't meet. We met Colbane. We all... Oh, you did meet Kurt Cobain? No, you met Kurt Cobain. We met Kurt Cobain.

Yeah, I hosted the Anteam Music Awards when they were on. Oh, yeah. With a guy threw the bass up and almost fell on his head. Hey, man, I once went to a black church with Courtney Love. Okay? Now, black women get mad when they see you with a white girl anytime. But when you walk into a black church with Courtney Love, what were you thinking?

Whose idea was it? They're like literally cursing. Like, what the goddamn fuck is going on? What the goddamn fuck? Yeah, I were a Kurt and Courtney sitting on the ground by the page desk in that hallway just between songs. just hanging out on the floor. I think they were music twice.

And one time I definitely remember that. I definitely seeing them in the cafeteria. We had dinner after they rehearsed. But you didn't know. I mean, no one knew it was big. The second time they came on there a bigger deal. But it's definitely fun when you're back there and you see all the hosts or music that you love

and then they're just stuck talking to you. Who's the host when you were there that kind of blew you away? Or was nervous to meet kind of? Because it's weird. In S&L, you're in your office or something. The host is up front, and then they'll say, Charlton Heston would like to say hello. You're like, what?

You know, I mean, some of those non-septu. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't know, they were all big stars. Just some, I remember being, and the guy's always been great, but I couldn't believe how talented Tom Hanks was. Oh, yeah. You know, you'd be at the rethru, and he'd be at the rethru, and he could do like nine different voices.

Yeah. You know, and he was reading everything, Cole, and he was just crushing everything. You're like, God. Sometimes you realize this is why they're famous. Yeah. Because you go, some people would bring real star. There's like a star power about them.

Like, you know, this person's a star. And then there's some that's sort of flatlined in the week. And I go, I don't get it. You can just see them read sketches and you go, they got nothing. I mean, it's hard to do the show. It's hard to read. My favorite was Stephen Seagal.

Oh, yeah. Favorite. No, no. Stephen Seagal comes on. Okay, so there's this, the legends of Stephen Seagal was he was a bodyguard from Mike Ovitz or something. Yeah, the beige and Tai Chi and karate and martial artists, whatever. So he's like this kind of movie, kind of like this B movie star. And C.

C, thank you. C. B was a little strong. She's like, she's like Scott Bills B and he's under Scott. I personally really like Scott Bale. I like Scott.

I like Scott. Anyway, and I remember he's at the read-through table and he's at the front and it's time to read the first sketch and Stephen Seagall picks up this thing and starts to read,

and you realize at that moment he's never auditioned for anything in his life. Oh, yeah. You realize at that moment there is really a mafia. And they literally shoved this guy in a fucking movie.

Yeah. Cole reading is hard to do anyway. It's hard anyway. And you're in front of all these people. What was the one with Tommy Lee Jones on the boat? Even Trump's like, pick it up. Pick it up. So, you know,

when he came on, Kevin and I did Huns and Franz at the read-through. Thank you. And we were making fun. Stephen was just buttoned out and he's got the script and we're doing stuff like, Arnold could definitely flick you with his little finger. And you would fly across the room and land in your own baby poop.

Flavalanche. And he's just like this, reading, yes, okay, right? You know, that kind of stuff. So then we're rehearsing on 8H on Thursday, just like here, basically. We read the scene. He doesn't, he's never seen. said a word whether he liked or didn't like the sketch. He gets on the show.

And then we cut for a rehearsal. He walks way off to the side and he's just staring up the bleachers. I don't know what he's doing. I'll go over and talk to him. I said, Stephen, are you okay? And this is the quote exactly like this, not looking at me. I just wish Arnold was here so I could kick his fucking ass. So for 72 hours, he was steamed about that sketch.

And I did tell Arnold, six months later, in Santa Monica in a restaurant with a folk lawn cigar with all the Austrian guys around. And I go, Stephen Segal says, he'd kick your ass, you know. And Arnold just leaned back and went, is that the fact? It's true, absolutely true, not a bit. Is that the fact? Any blue smoke greens that's tell Geli man. You got a Steven Seagal's story? No, you know what else?

But I thought, you know, else I was a little starstruck by, I was Michael Jordan. Oh, yeah. Michael Jordan was the biggest host of our time. Yeah, definitely. And he was still playing, right? Was he still playing? Oh, yeah. It was before baseball.

Did we go to McDonald's with Michael Jordan? Oh, we did. We went down and went to McDonald's underneath. We went to McDonald's with fucking money. A lifetime bucketless thing and I spaced it. We went down and he goes, let's all go. Yeah, like during rehearsal, let's all run down. Yeah.

He was special. You and I used to go to McDonald's. All the time. That's why we're so malnutrition. I eat there so much. We never made that much money, and it was always like scraping, but I did remember that we went there, and there was that sketch in the 50s where Rob was the announcer.

Oh, they're really giving the referees the business. And we were an all-white team. We didn't want Michael on our team. Remember that? And he's like, at half time, going, can someone pass me the ball? Did you guys have any interaction with Michael, like, personal? I don't remember.

I mean, I... He was so intimidating because... He was a sweetheart. He was... But it was just like, he came up to me and he goes, do you golf? And I go, well, a little bit. You know, what do you shoot? I go, I'm terrible.

I don't know. Maybe 100 or something. And he just paused and he was very serious. He goes, well, you're not very good, are you? He wants to bed. No, I'm not. Anyway, he was, he was, the other one was Mel Gibson. When Mel Gibson and his handsome prime hosted, I'd never seen the staff, the women on the staff get that crazy.

Do you remember that? Well, I was not there for Mel Gibson. And he is a haughty. I did a move. I did, I did, uh, you did a lethal weapon. I did a lethal weapon. I did, uh, lethal weapon for with, uh, with, uh, Mel Gibson before the, you know. Sugar tits. Just another guy that really loves Seinfeld right about now.

There's a theme. I love this theme. Yeah. Go Wikipedia. You got to be canceled for me to be friends with you. Why do celebrities who drink not get a driver? Or an Uber. Or anything.

Or a Waymo. Why is Tiger Woods still? See you later. I'm taking the Oldsmobile. I mean, you know what? Take the keys away. I think too many. I knew Tiger was in trouble.

He was that, you know, had the whole cheating and whatever, and his wife beat up the thing. Then he had a press conference with all his friends, and he apologized. Now, Tiger's black and Asian, and he has a press conference with his friends, and none of them are black or Asian. What are they?

I was like, okay. Sometimes if you're that famous. You got to have a Mario Joyner in there somewhere. Somebody. No, but. Steve Harvey, I don't know. Somebody. Somebody, come on.

It's like not one. But if he's doing some things that he, if he's that level of fame, I think he just doesn't want a witness. You know what I mean? You don't want someone knowing what you're doing, hearing you talk on the phone, and just quietly taking an info. Doesn't work because he has the money to hire a new driver twice a day.

Is that the fix? You drive in the morning, now you're out. Well, I guess you should have a full-time drive. Yeah, I mean. Yeah, yeah. You can't have a full-time. And you're not paying them to drive. You're paying them to shut the fuck up.

Exactly. Exactly. Everybody could drive. I can't find anyone else shut the fuck up. But only the good ones can shut the fuck up. Yeah. Right. And if they're deaf and mute, it's better.

How you doing, Mr. Rock? Oh, you got three prostitutes. I ain't seeing nothing. Yeah. I love fake driving. It's like 1941 without power steering. All right, Tiger, we're going to the cause now. That's what you're paying for.

Silence. That was a good topic. That was a good topic. Hey, it's your podcast. You've been busy. I'm just here. Why were you at the Met Gall? I was looking for you.

I don't know. You didn't have anything stupid enough to wear? I went last year. I didn't go to show. Did you go? Who wore it best? Who wore it best? I didn't go to show.

I've been a couple of times. Do you wear something weird or just a tux? Just a tux. I've been a couple of times. I still don't know what it's for. Is there anything after those stairs? Because once they get to that, I would just go home. Yeah, it's nothing.

I got invited last year, and the year before that, I was, like, trying to save a relationship. Oh. Oh, really? Yeah. Hey, maybe if I take her to the Metball. Nope. Yeah.

Maybe I've been to take you around. on more famous people. That's the tough one. Yeah, yeah. What goes on, I mean, we only see the red carpet, right? Right. And then what goes on after that? You eat shrimp.

You can't eat shrimp. A lot of rich people, lot of rich techie, white people. They're like, ooh, this is Bob Ziminga, and his family owns the button. They invented the button This is like all the buttons on the world You ever heard about buttons? They own all the buttons on earth

If you're nice to him He'll let you on his boat Yeah You gotta have a boat This is He gets a piece of every button Kelly Blue Blay And her family owns green

Just a color green Yeah Jeff Bezos has a 500 billion, what a million dollar boat, it's like a thousand foot long, it's got a sail, he's got another boat behind it. He's selling it because, quote, it draws

too much attention. God bless. Maybe it's the five, I do like his wife, though. Lauren Sanchez, you've got to root for that. I've known Lauren a little while. Yeah. Have you been on that one? I have not been on that boat. Have you been on George Lucas's?

Have you been on Geffen's boat? I've been on some boats. I like. I got no problem with a boat invitation. Yes. You'd rather float than sink. Hey, I tell some jokes and I, you know. Get on boats.

And I get on some boats. You get on boats. You don't have to say the name of the owner, but what's the best boat you've been on that you weren't? Holy shit. They're all nice. They're all nice. And it's, you know, to be black and get on a boat leisurely. It's a...

It's a... Okay. It's a great thing. It's like... Okay. It's like, ooh, I'm up top. You know, Chris, I don't know if you're working on your stand-up, but you've got at least four bangers in here that you can extend. And this is being recorded.

But that is a great line. I'm like, ooh. You go to Met Gala, as you go to the Oscars, you go on boats. You're living. My kids are grown. I go out. Yeah. I know you get out the house.

You would get a tuna sandwich and you're just in a sketch and now, good Lord. Look at us. All right. I found it kind of interesting that you did S&L and then you did in Living Color and then you were sort of, I think you did a movie or something. You're just sort of in it like this. And then you did bring the pain and I remember watching it and went, oh, something just happened. Like something new happened with that special because I think you said you weren't serious. At least that's the quote I asked.

You weren't serious. I left S&L. I went to Living Color. How was in Living Color? Was it their last season or close to the end? It was their last season. Of course, as soon as I get there, the Wains quit. Because that's...

They were a big part of that. That's just the luck of me. You know what I mean? The Wings quit the show. They are the show. Yeah. Well, he had Jim Carrey, right? Yeah.

I forgot Jim Carrey. you got a show. That's me. So I get there, because I felt, I don't know, I just felt a cultural shift. But then that show gets canceled. And so I got no job. I got no job.

No TV job. You know, that good TV money. What happened was I bought a house in Brooklyn. And I bought a carriage house that I would later lose a divorce. But anyway, I bought a carriage house. Sorry. Everyone loses a carriage house and a divorce at some point.

And I don't know. I just had a big-ass mortgage and I had to do more shows. And when I did more shows, I got fucking better. And at some point, my brother, I'm not going to say the comedian because that would be disrespectful, but me and my brother went to see a comedian at Radio City. and like normal people. We made some calls and we got some tickets.

I'm a comedian, right? And I was like, I can count on one hand the amount of times I've sat in the audience for a comedy show, right? Right. And I left the show. I thought it was great. I thought the show was great.

The show was great. But my brother, my brother, Andre, goes, you're better than that guy. What the fuck out of here? And it hadn't occurred to, it's like when the, sometimes the kid that's getting bullied gets bigger than the bully. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't realize it yet. Right.

So right around that time, it took my brother telling me that I was better to actually snap me out of this thing. And this was kind of a national headliner. This was. And then like, yeah, and then, you know, it's like one of those rocky montages where I'm just knocking motherfuckers out. Like, I'm just like, I was just like, I was. I had gotten a lot better just from trying to pay for this house. I got really good. That's great.

So get a big mortgage. Yeah. Everyone's like, we got that part down. And then go to a comedy club. Yeah. Yeah, but I was out of show, but I mean, put it this way too. I had given up, I'd been in a few movies. I'd been on Tirent Live.

I'd been on Living Color. I kind of thought I was done as far as like being a famous person. Right, right. So my concern, not even a concern, I was like, okay, I love stand-up. And all I wanted out of stand-up, and this is like, this guy's a big star, but all I wanted out of stand-up was to be George Wallace. Okay. Like, George Wallace, to me was like a great stand-up. A great stand-up.

This guy crushes every night. Never want to follow George Wall. He would come in to the club. The only other black guy, by the way. And he had great suits on. Yeah. And he had a fucking Cadillac. And he was opening for bands in Vegas and whatnot.

And he was the only guy I knew that was so organized. He had like a real schedule. Like he didn't work in the summer. Like he would actually vacation and he had houses here and there. And I was like, man, if I could just be like George Wallace, then my, that's, that's what I wanted. Seriously, he was good. Yeah, yeah. But that guy was like a Jedi.

Yeah. Like he wasn't thinking about being on TV or a sitcom or a movie. He was killing. Just working. Yeah. Yeah. It was like, okay, that's what I want to be. I want to be a focus, great comedian that other comedians respect soon as I walk in the,

well, that's what I wanted to ask you because, you know, Gaffigan, Jim Gaffigan, Jerry Seinfeld, these are they get with the tape or they give their notes. I mean, Jerry gets nervous. He needs that one hour a day with his notes. Were you like that, or was just the reps on stage? Or did you record it and listen? Because that's very painful to do for a community. I would record it.

I would listen the next day. Okay. I mean, also, it was one of these, you know, I'll give this, me and my ex-wife go back and forth. I, you know, I was, you know, I had been on Saturday Night Live, I'd been in New Jack City. I was, you know, a, a mini-millionaire. at the time. But when I met her, I grew as a person. You know what I mean? Because I'd never really had a relationship, a grown-up relationship. Gotcha. So as I was growing up as a person, I was growing up as a comic.

You know, so I just, I just had different issues to talk about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A bigger, wider way. And the better I, you know, and it, I lucked up. You know what I mean? I, I, I, I, I, I, I, lucked up in the sense that you know, wow, fuck, I've been around a long time. So, I'm, you know, I guess they're shantling, but I'm one of

the first cable stars. You know what I mean? Like, right? You know what I mean? Like, it was a, when I broke, it was not from television at all. It wasn't from normal TV at all. It was from cable TV.

So I was like this HBO thing. HBO is bringing the pain. And it got a lot of awards and recognition. It was a big thing. Critics loved it. And for some reason you know how it's just a joke, sticks in you had something about peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. I don't know why.

I never forgot that. I don't know why. What is that joke? We were so poor. My mother used to buy the peanut butter and the jelly in the same same jar. That's like buying a shoe with a sock sold inside. Call it a shock.

Oh, the shock. When did you do Ninja with Farley? I did Beverly Hills Ninja with Chris Farley. That was like me being... Was that when you were... That was before Bring the Pain? That was after living color. That was me broke as fuck.

Just take it for the money, right? I'll just go do it. Yeah, I was like, oh, wait a minute. This guy I used to share an office with gets $10 million a picture or so. It was like, what the fuck? What the fuck happened here? That was after Tommy Boy. Yeah, after Tommy Boy.

But we did that. I had a lot of fun to it. Here's a funny thing about that movie. I was horrible in that movie. Well, initially, right? So I was cut out of the whole movie. Like, you were cut out of the Michael Jackson. I'm cut out of the whole movie.

Bring the Pain comes on HBO And suddenly they put me back in a whole movie Wow Suddenly everything I did Me at craft services Eating a Snickers It's in the credits It's like everything's in the movie

It's like three editors Yes yes Reaction on Chris He's not in the scene I said you know Yeah Yeah that was big That was big

Yeah, that was a seismic shift. Now, what was your next move after you got big from Bring the Pain? I mean, what was your next move? It's weird, I did another special. I mean, I did, here's the weird thing. I'm just like, I'm getting, I can do it. I'm hanging with Madonna.

So I'm with Madonna, right? Yeah. Whatever. And. You're hanging with her. I'm hanging. Okay. And, uh, she,

pulls out, she's getting ready to do a special in Cuba. I'm literally right next to her. She calls her manager of somebody and she cancels the special in Cuba. Really last

moment thing, right? So, I know how much money she's getting. And I offer, I call up Chris Albrecht at HBO I'll go, I'll do a special right now.

But I got to get the same money. And? And I got it. Fuck. So, whatever it was, you could imagine. But before that, I probably got 20 grand for bringing the paint. Like, no comedian made any money.

Sure, sure. Just the privilege to do it. Like, take Madonna's money. Give me that money. But did you shoot it in Cuba? No, no, no. We shot it. I shot bigger and blacker at the Apollo.

Okay, that's right. So I did that. So those two specials are like kind of like a year apart or year and a half apart. But you were ready or you didn't know? I wasn't really ready, but I knew I got it together. And I mean, you know, it's that time in your life. You know, there's a time in your life when you're just a vessel. And the shit's coming through you like that, you know.

So I was at that vessel point. And it's just coming through me. And most people think bigger in black is better bring the paper. That's like, even when they were albums or DVDs, bigger and black are always sold more. Oh, really? Yeah, it's the bigger special. Well, it's good. They're even close.

I mean, usually a lot of people have one killer and then the rest, you know, because right now people do a lot of specials in a row and some get one. water down. So then I started doing movies and you know Mel Gibson called hello melly he was nice it was it's crazy when you see what happens people and when he was he was the nicest guy oh yeah everybody even the Jews he was just nice yeah yeah I never at one I think, I mean, I just, I think he's brilliant. I mean, do you ever see Apocalyptic? Apocalyptic. Apocalypse. Apocalypse.

It's one of the best movies ever made. Yeah, it's unbelievable. I mean, and it's an actor, so. Yeah. I believe in second chances. Yeah. No, I got, hey. Yeah.

David, I gave him a second chance. Hey. Hey, if they want to do another lethal weapon, I'll take that check. Yeah. What's your biggest mailbox check? Madagascar. Madagascar. Oh, yeah.

Oh, it is? That, I turned down Madagascar. Whoa! Well, I was, I don't know. What the hell was going on with you? I had a bad day. You couldn't think of a lemur voice. Are you allergic to money?

Yeah. Kind of. Dana Haynes money? No, they wanted me to do a South African accent, and I was like really working on it. I think Sasha Combearon did it. Ah. But now, the, you do the first movie, it's not that.

Because I did a secret life of pets. I did Secret Life of Pets, the first movie there was, thank you. Hold your applause. And then the first movie you didn't get much from Madagascar. No, no, no, no. But then when... DreamWorks was a new company. Okay.

So, it's a same... You know, I've been lucky a few times. So, you get, if you get someplace early, they overpay. Yeah, DreamWorks pays better than some of the other... Dreamworks, hey, man, for the Shrek guys... Yeah. It's like, you know, those guys... Yeah.

They made some of the... money none of them ever worked again. They all went like 20 years without working. They made so much money. And now they have two more. They just did. Yeah. So it's like, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I love Eddie. This is how crazy Eddie could be. Eddie has the studio in his house, like the recording studio in his house. So all he has to go downstairs to do donkey. To do donkey. And.

All right. You do. And he would make them wait for months at a time. And at least twice they negotiated deals with me to play donkey. Seriously? And then Eddie just went downstairs. Oh, shit. And I'm out of $30 million.

Just because Eddie went downstairs. The highs and the lows. 30. I'm on my way to the studio. Yeah, I'm donkey. Oh, Eddie went downstairs. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. God damn it. Eddie went downstairs. He's in his pajamas doing donkey right now. Sad. You've had a big life, Chris. It's getting bigger. Good Lord.

Pouti Teng. Poodie Teng. Puditang. It's a title that you can never forget of a movie. Hey, man. Everybody thinks they're famous.

And, you know, you know, there was a point. I was so famous I got a movie called Pouti Teng, man. When the lead character doesn't speak English.

You got that push through. Sign your pity on the run-a-kind. Sadate. Created by Louis C.K. Written by Louis C.K. Written by Louis C.K. and a little bit myself. I got some jokes in there. But yeah.

What about I'm gonna eat you sucker? Where's the one where you said, give me some ribs? What was the one where you said, give me some ribs? Oh, that's, I'm gonna get you sucker. Oh yeah, yeah. Directed by Keenan Ivory Wains. Okay. That's right.

Okay. Now, here's a weird story about it. weird story about I'm gonna get you sucker. I hope I'm not speaking out of tune. Most of that movie is thought up by Eddie Murphy. Like, really? Yeah. And from what I hear, Eddie was gonna do it and then he decided not to do it and Keenan's like, hey, he picked it off his thing. Hey, you're thinking about doing this? I mean, he still made it into Keenan's version of it, but the initial thing was Eddie Murphy. Yeah, he told me he told me he came up with the fish in the, in the shoe and all that stuff.

But I play the rib man and I'm going to get you sucker. And it was based on like some real shit. Like, give me one rib. Yeah. It's hysterical. And the golden globe goes to, I'm going to get you sucker.

Yeah. Chris is one line. He comes in and then you go, give me a rib and you don't have enough money and then you go, how much for this? And then you pull out a wad of hundreds at the end. It's why for a scene to stand out. How much more soda?

Yeah. Fuck the cup. Put it in my hand. Ah, yeah. My daughter's here like, huh? It's good when it works, yeah. Your kids know any of your shit? My kids don't know anything.

Not really. My kids don't know nothing I've done and could care less. Yeah. In a healthy way. In a healthy way. Yeah. What about the one you just, The last one you just did.

I just directed Misty Green. It's going to come out. It's going to come out in November. It's at 824. It's kind of a drama, honestly. Okay. It's about a woman whose sugar daddy dies. And she's got a week to get her shit together.

Or she might have to fuck a guy in Dubai. A tale is old as time. It's kind of like it's... The feel-good picture. The feel-good. good story for Christmas. The whole family. Did it start out more?

Yeah, so that's, yeah, that, what about you? It's, it's, it's, the best way to describe it would be a female uncut gyms, okay? Okay. So, it stars a woman named Rosalind Elizar. She's on a show called Slow Horses. Oh, okay. Love that show. Anna Kendrick's her best friend.

Daniel Kaluah. He's her brother. Adam Driver's in it. Oh, you got it. And myself. And a few other people, Anthony Anderson, Tofer, Tofer, Grace.

Yeah. Have you done it? I mean, it's, yeah. Did it start off? 824, nice little art movie. 824 is big. How do you direct? People like that.

Like Adam Driver, you know, they're sort of brilliant at their craft. I mean, it's just very subtle. I mean, it's kind of like comedians. I mean, you got to rehearse. and, you know, figure out their moves and stuff. I mean, but he was great. He was like, when you get an actor that good, every take, you're like, whoa.

You know, it's probably like you think they'll be difficult when they're not, then it's easy. Because then you have a back and forth. But some, if they resist, then it's a lot. I've been on movies where people really resist, and you go, oh, my God, this is just going to make it so hard. Yeah. Well, it was a, it was prime, there's some comedy in it, but it's definitely lean's dramatic. So, yeah, I got, if it's funny, I got a ton of notes. But if it's not, you know, I'm going to trust Adam Driver.

Yeah. Yeah, I would trust Adam Driver. And do a lot of the great actors you've worked with sometimes, like, after a take that you think's brilliant. Like, really? Was it good? Do you think it was good? Yeah, yeah. Seems like some of them are self-critical. Like that, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Really? You think so? Wait, what movie was that one? I did a movie called Bad Company. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that Brockhamer?

Oh, really, Tony? Tony Hopkins. I did a movie with Tony. Which one did you do? Road to Wellville. Hey. Do you know what he would do? And I don't know if you did this with you,

but he had a Polaroid shot of his character. His character had funny teeth. It was all about the wellness industry in 1890 or whatever. And you'd be talking to him. And then they'd go, speed rolling. He would look at the pitcher, crush it on his face, and then breathe in like, and then...

Put it in his pocket and then he'd just be the character. Did you see any of that? I saw none of that. I swear, I didn't know. I do remember, like, older actors, they want to rehearse. And do not give them new pages on the day. Yeah. And I remember somebody, I remember the director giving them new pages and him like,

get the fuck away from me. Give me new fucking. pages. Yeah. Just for that, today you get four takes. Yeah. Did you ever work with

someone who just couldn't get their lines? I mean, Bert Lancaster, I was in a movie with him and Kirk Douglas, very sweet guy. But you'd be like, okay, I guess we're going to rob the train. And then everyone's just still and quiet.

Line. And then the woman, because we got to do it today. Because we got to do it today. Line. And she would go on and on. Tracy Morgan's like that. Like literally like what are funniest people ever

It's not that he can't do his he doesn't know his lines He can't do it the same way twice Right It has to be different By the way we a couple of back to Michael Jackson Yeah Just like a crazy name drop fest So Matt Eddie's house

Me there's a bunch of people But I'll just say the name droppy name So it's me Eddie, Chappelle, and Tracy. A couple of people, Rapio, Sidig, Samoa, lots of cool people there. And to watch the Michael Jackson movie with Tracy Morgan kind of narrating.

Oh, yeah. He said, I'm gonna get me some penny loafers. That sounds fun. Who do you think hit harder? Joe or Joe Frazier. That's great. It's just like the whole movie he wouldn't stop. That's hysterical.

I got a name drop story about this kind of stuff. Tom Hanks was telling me that Clint Eastwood will sort of walk on the scene and he's just coming out there and the cameras are rolling and he's like, okay, what is it? And the script cyber just goes, all right, so let's get out of here. All right, let's get out of here.

So he likes to hear it right before. he says it. Really? And that's a kind of like Brando would, you know, hide things in the ceiling and stuff, you know. Anyway, inside baseball. The brand of an earpiece? Clint is not Tracy Morgan. It's not as dynamic as a centerpiece of a story,

visually and orally. I agree. All right, you got something else. A little more for Chris Rock before we get him on here. What do you think? Chris Rock. Uh-oh. Yeah. All right. Let's just your hot takes on society. Me? I have no takes. AI, will it rule us?

Will it take over? It be a good thing or a bad thing? You have five seconds. Hey, I personally know people that have actually lost jobs to AI. They're in the tech sector. So, hey, man, I don't know. For the arts, put it this way. To me, AI, just in my business, it's a drum machine.

Okay? It's basically a drum machine. You give Dr. Dre a drum machine, it's fucking magic. You give me a drum machine, it's a waste of time. So I don't think it'll make shitty writers good because the good writers will have it too. You know what I mean? So the distance is still going to be the same

between the talent, because everybody's going to have it. But it's obviously a little scary. I've definitely seen you know there's definite parts of the business that are going to be gone you know yeah well I was going to ask you about

LA too in the recession in the film and TV business in Los Angeles I did my movie the whole movie we shot in L.A. Good job yeah whole movie

they just didn't how much more expensive I mean that was more expensive right it probably was more expensive but you know, um, that's a good thing.

Not my money. Yeah. I got, actually some of it was, but I think I'm getting it back. Yeah. When does this movie come out? I put up some dough.

Um, this movie comes out in November. Okay. When the good shit comes out. I don't like the people that have AI and they have Chad GPT and there's always one guy going, hey, can you start World War III? It's like, why? Let's not mess with it.

Because if they've read every book in the world, you're like, they can probably start some shit. So it shouldn't be in everyone's hands on their phone, which I think it is now. I haven't done it yet. We are living in the singularity. I mean, this is the printing press. This is fire.

This is the atom splitting. Hey, I'm not even here, really? No. We'd like to thank Chris's digital copy for being here, and now on the count of three, the hologram will disappear. This is what I was just curious about. hanging out? Like what do you consume

live streaming shows? Do you get into shows with your girlfriend or friends? Or what do you, what's a day off for you to go to movie theaters by yourself or what do you do? I mean, I, hey, I love my Apple TV. All right, so you're watching neighbors with John. And when I travel, I, you know, just some fucking spoiled rich shit. I have the Apple TV hooked up in every hotel room I'm in so I can watch my shows.

One of the years shows. Slow horses. Slow horses. I'm waiting for, I'm watching Euphoria right now. I'm watching Euphoria, too. Don't spoil that. I haven't seen the last one. I'm only as far as everybody else.

I like that it's every Sunday. I like that you can't jump ahead. It's like I didn't see it this week. What? She's a nun? No. She has huge boobs again. Has anyone

watch the pit. HBO Max, but I don't really see hospital shows, but this one is kind of extra, extra. It's pretty special. I want the pit, but it's just Brad Pitt telling girls they can't spend the night. I want to watch that show.

Whenever Brad Pitt is on TV and my wife is over there and I just go, I don't get it. I mean, really, there's not much going on with him. I mean, is that considered I don't see it. I remember being at a party. You ever been in a room with fucking Pitt, bad? So you're a part, right?

Obama. You meet a woman. The woman talks to you like this, right? When Brad Pitt walks in the room, every woman takes a step and a half back from whatever guy she's talking to. Like, every woman's, like, kind of aware with, like, it's like when a pit bull gets loose in the neighborhood. Like, every woman knows exactly where the fuck pit is in the room.

And if I have a chance, I'm not going to fuck it up tonight over Chris Rock. They get a little bit away. And then he gets a woman or he leaves the party. And then the girl starts talking to your normal again. Hey, hell of you. Is this kind of a tell... Is this also a tell when Brad Pitt comes in a woman might just kind of just do this?

You know? Just a subtle... Just clean it up a little bit. Just kind of clean it up a little bit. Yeah. You ever seen that? I've seen it. Yeah, they kind of let you know, like, hey,

if he even looks this way... Yeah. I'm going to kick you down a flight of stairs. Immediately in a wood chipper. I'm a huge fan. He's a great guy. He's a great. He's a...

a great guy and a great actor. Chris, you remember when, well, Marcy's here, but Marcy would bring Carolyn Bissette her on the office at S&L, and Carolyn Bissette was so stunning, and we all kind of had a crush in her, and then we got the news she's dating

JFK Jr. We're all like, oh, that's her type. Oh. The kind of guy, every person in the world loves. I thought she'd be a little more interesting. Thought she'd like squirrely, broke writers. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I remember. I went out with her roommate for a minute. You what? You went out with her? Oh, really? Hmm.

Yeah. Anyway. Plot thickening. Plot thinking. That's as far as it got. Yeah. I'm going to just try to mention a celebrity and see if you had a six degree. No, I'm not that guy.

I'm not. No, it's just because you go. But I don't do that in my act. Well, people like you. I mean, and they want to hang out with you. That's all. I like you. I mean, we get to, we're hanging out with you right now.

We're hanging out. This is, this is fun. This is the most fun you've had today, right? This is kind of the most fun I'm going to, well, maybe later, huh? Who's over there? Yeah. All right. Well, Dan, any, any last questions for our good friend, Chris Rock?

Just, give me just quick quick thing. What do you want? What do you want? Adam Sandler. What is with that guy? I call him Adam Sandler Clause. because uh because of the car

I love that guy it's weird I realize Adam Seller might be my oldest friend like excuse me that's right because it was pre well

because we know I knew him before I got on SNL we were doing the whole thing you did at the Kennedy Center when they were vetting oh yeah

you knew him before yeah I knew I knew Adam like a year and a half two years in the standup so I've known Adam like 40

That part of the story that you told about Adam was really touched me. It was so sweet. Just at the club and then the dorm. It's like, okay, I'll tell the story again. So at any comedy club, you start stacking chairs. First, the privilege is to just be allowed in the club. And then, okay, we're going to let you clean off tables. And then, okay, we're going to give you late night spots during the week.

So you can go on at 1 o'clock in the morning on a Wednesday, right? And then you get weak spots during the week. And then the greatest thing you can do after a couple of years of working is they let you work the weekends. Right? So, and that is like you're a top comic, right? And so I'm at the club. Pre-S&L. Pre-S-NL.

I meet Eddie Murphy at the club. I meet Eddie Murphy at the club. one night as I was stacking chairs okay I was stacking chairs Eddie had watched like four guys and he goes to this guy Lucian Hold hey you got any black comics and Lucian Holt's like we got one right here

the guy hadn't smoked to me in six months Eddie has that effect and they put me on stage in front of Eddie Eddie laughs Eddie proceeds to tell me my whole life Oh wow So Eddie tells me You're gonna be in movies

You're gonna do S&L You're gonna do this You're gonna like everything that's happened to me You're gonna direct You're gonna do this From seeing one set From seeing like Maybe eight minutes

Here and there Like literally Eight minutes Crazy Literally Literally predicts my whole future Yeah Okay

You're gonna get married You're gonna get divorced Like everything Married divorce Did he say you were gonna meet me Yeah You said me I was gonna do this podcast

Yeah The church lady So And this is like the real Eddie Murphy. This is like, this is not Dr. Doolittle. This is like, this is Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. This is red leather. Yeah, he probably had on some green leather.

And he's like Elvis Eddie and he's got 20 guys with him. And he's like, we're going to L.A. tomorrow. You should come. I go to L.A. with Eddie. Holy shit. And I end up in Beverly Hills Cop 2. That's right. A movie that I saw four times the day it came.

I saw Beverly Hills Cop one, me and Fred Barton, who's not alive anymore, saw four times. Anyway, so I'm in LA doing that. I come back, because I have to come back, you know, I only made $600 doing Beverly Hills Cop, right? And who do I see, who the fuck's this white kid on stage on Saturday night? Is that I do? What the fuck is going on here? Right. me two, three years to get on that Saturday night.

So he just came out of nowhere. Who the fuck is this guy and it's Sandler? Yeah. And like everything in my body said to hate this guy. Because not only is he on Saturday night and obviously didn't earn it, the luci, they told me he's on the Cosby show. It's like, motherfucker, how come I'm not on the Cosby show? I'm a black guy.

Who is this white boy on the fucking Cosby show? Excellent. going on on Saturday night. And I watched him, and I was so prepared to like, like, fuck this guy. And I watched him. And he did this joke about Wilk Chamberlain scored 100 points in a game. It was like his impression of the other players on the team. Hey, Will, I'm open.

But he also had a line where they're in a huddle. Will's already scored 98, and the coach says, okay, who's got Willed? That was another one. He had that other one about his grandmother rubbing Bix paper rub on his chest, and he looks at his grandmother in her eyes and goes, we're just friends, right?

So, I'm watching him do this, and all the hate just left my body. I was like, this guy is the best, this guy's so fucking funny. Oh, my God. And we just became friends that. night. Yeah.

But wasn't there a moment where he was with sort of a gang and then he saw you and sort of said, you know, he invited you into this.

Well, he was with all those guys he was rights with now were there. So like Jack Jaraputo and Hurleyhee and all those guys, you know,

they were, he was going to NYU at the time. Yeah. He was going to NYU. We had such insanely different backgrounds. Okay, so he's literally going to NYU.

I'm at his dorm and all the shit. I'm living in bedstye. It is the height of the crack epidemic, okay? Not this hipster bedstey you hear about now. This is grandmother's blowing people fucking crackhead. Right. So the home values were pretty good. It was insane, dude.

Crack was an insane time. Because crack in the VCR came out. time. So guys would, people would do, it was like the fucking opium wars or some shit. And guys would show you tapes of somebody's motherfucking three guys. It was crazy. Crack was insane. Anyway. The good old days. Then I remember me and Sandler auditioned for S&L on the same night. I was doing a movie called Hanging Out with the Homeboys. And the director, we were in rehearsals.

And I had the auditions were in Chicago. And so I needed a day off to go audition. And the director was like, if you leave, you're fired. I left. They fired me. And I went to audition for S&O. And me and Sanlo auditioned at the night, the same night. I did good.

I don't think it was great, but it was good. Yeah. And Sandler did good. And we both, we watched Dana Gould destroy. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. And Dana Gould did so well, I left. It's like, why am I even here?

This guy is like the king of this shit. Yeah, great stand up. And me and Adam got the job. Faba Thub. Yeah. You came in. Me Adam and Farley. Yeah.

Farley auditioned. because we auditioned at the improv, and he was around the corner at Second City. Second City, yeah, yeah. So we all got... Could I ask you a question of something that stuck for 30 years? This thing, you and Farley. Right?

Because I think I made a joke. When you guys, the first day you were hired, I think I was on Letterman, and I did a thing of, I always have some new guys, and I was sort of kidding, but I said, you know how I am? You know, I'm the freaking church lady.

Now give me a cup of coffee. I think I said that. And then you and Chris just called me the lady, period. Every rehearsal, see you, where's lady, saw you, lady, good job, lady. Yeah.

Same thing with me as far as. It was only lady, only you two guys, never stopped. I think if I saw you, I didn't call you Dana until 2020. Yeah, I remember that day. I teared up a little bit. I was like, I have a name.

I'm a person. I have. Yeah. David? I saw Chris on the back of some comedy magazine. It was a picture of you and Sandler in the corner, and I was in L.A. And I didn't know either of you guys. Then I met Sandler, but I was doing the same thing in the Valley here where Schneider and Drake Sather and a lot of comics were going on and Judd.

and I'd see Sandler and Covert and, you know, same situation where Sandler was great, and then we all kind of goofed around, and then he goes out, you know, and then he's doing out there you, and then we all wind up on the same show. It's such a ridiculous miracle. It's so funny how that happened. Very strange. Yeah. Ridiculous.

Just to make a living. That's all I thought about when I put down my waiter, apron. Could I, this be my job? could my job be doing stand-up basically? That was it. That's the touchstone. And then other things happen too. Still, that is the full circle.

You're still doing good. Dana, you're doing great. Thank you. And let's thank the audience for coming down. You guys, we appreciate it. And thank you, Chris Rock. Chris Rock, everybody. We'll see you guys.

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Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks.

of Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answer on the show. You can email us at fly on the wall at odyssey.com. That's a-u-d-ac-y-y-com.