Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Collapse and Controversy

Episode Date: July 13, 2026

This week, Dana & David discuss the US Mens team’s collapse, the controversy surrounding the Odyssey, and playing “nice guys” in movies. Also, why Dana wasn’t at Taylor and Travis’ wedding, Buzzing Around, and the news of the week.

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He goes, I got it. And I go, okay. And he goes, no, my wallet. I got it. I thought I forgot. No, he does a whole dance when the bill comes. He does a whole thing like he's reaching. Oh, reaching it in there.

You're like, oh, hell. Really? I'm just getting my gun. Now you pay it. You haven't said weiner or butthole. So I just lost a polymarket. Polymarket. Fuck.

Gleashy. Because people have. kept asking me, I know it's after the fact. Why wasn't I at the Taylor Swift-Travs-Kelsea wedding? Well, it's because I wasn't invited and I don't know the brighter groom. This is as close to, and this is no joke. I'm not kidding around here. This is like a kind of an emergency podcast.

Like, we didn't know. Just so if this shows maybe not our A-plus, just know that we didn't know we were going to do this two and a half minutes ago. Pretty much. I'm in the new place. Everyone's been clamoring for details. David's Ben, it's a moving whoopty-do.

Yeah. Go ahead. Me moving is like Taylor's Swiss wedding. Like any tidbits, any gossip, any juice, any leaks. Yeah. At the move. Any leaks in the house.

Yeah. There was a leak. The air condition was somehow leaking under the sink. Heather was like, we were all like, what the fuck? My buddy Jody's here, he's like, there's a leak in the lawnroom. I don't think that should be connected to my dog shit new AC trash. I like, of course, it's money pit within seconds. Well, I don't know.

If you, right now, are you glad you're moving? I'm glad this is the first time I spent the night was last night. And it was like, because, you know, the last time I moved, You did not know this, but that place was bigger and it was a little scarier and I was upstairs. And that was after, well, obviously I've been attacked in the middle of night before. But also after that, I got broken into and I was at the comedy store. So they stole my safe. So I missed them by eight minutes.

So I'm a little paranoid. Being in a new house, it was raining alone in winter. And at 2 a.m., all the lights go on. And a siren went off, right? Yeah. I mean, that's not paranoid. annoy. That's just, that's just, uh, dangerous. It's a dangerous house. That's from the movie back rooms. Yeah. That's a horror movie with Eli Roth. So I, it's a great double feature. See obsession

and backrooms and then go right to a psychiatrist office. Okay. They go right to my first night in my house. So that one, the lights come on and the next night after I fucking shit my pants. The next night, 2 a.m. lights going again. The next day I get my guys in. I'm like, guys, any reason the lights are going on to him, he goes, oh, the old company just contact us, they want 25 grand to stop that. They were doing it on purpose. Oh, wow.

They want 25 grand to mob shit? Tony Soprano. Yeah, they said, you know, if you want this to stop, the last person owes us money. And I go, well, I'm the first person that bought. this is a new house. So if those guys owe you money to the developer, I don't know. But anyway, it was a full shit show.

And then I heard Brad Pitt, well, no names. I heard there was some super famous guy that had a situation like that. And so I said, oh, the only reason I'm saying that is that it's kind of something they do and they hold you for ransom. Right. Well, Brad Pitt goes by Super Famous guy with his friends.

That's a nickname. Hey, super famous guy, want to see a movie? Dude, right. I see Brad Pitt. I get starstruck. Gets off his motorcycles like, hey. I'm like, what if you were in 7-11 or he's delivering my fucking dominoes takes it off? I'm like, Brad Pitt gets starstruck.

That guy looks in the mirror in the morning and goes, really? Fuck. Oh, my God, it's Brad Pitt. No, I asked Kim Kardashian to that. Do you ever look in the mirror and you just go, wow? She goes, yeah, all the time. Who are the movie stars right now? And then I'll get back to my boring story.

Don't you worry. Okay, and now I need to talk about tarantulas, wasp, and frogs. Oh, okay. And I'll just say, I'm in my house. Well, I want to hear your story first. That was a teaser. That's how we keep them. No, yeah.

The people are like, fuck, we got to hang in there. I'm going to turn it. What? Okay. I'm not a fucking bumble being. Okay, I want to hear your housing stories first. It's just wrapping up that Heather, through this rag tag podcast situation together. It's not as easy as it looks.

To get it to look shitty is actually hard. We are in here and she's flipping on my, anyway. And also there's movers out. there and it's very weird the first night but it went okay now i'm getting tougher and i'm getting ready for grown-ups so it's like i have to move in get settled the second i'm settled i have to flip it and pack everything in am scray well wait just so i have clarity yeah where did you sleep last night old house or new house that was the first time i felt in a vortex in the middle of they like, they had finished packing around three at the old house.

Okay. Bed, everything, and I had slept over there. Now the bed, which is really your basis of your house, is driving around L.A. And I'm driving around L.A. going, either house has nothing in it. So I just sit on the floor. Then I drive to this one and just sit on the floor and go, I'm kind of just floating right now. And then stuff comes in, and then I went to dinner last night. I saw Lovitz.

Hello. If you need any help, don't call. He actually would like, he would like to tell you where to put furniture and stuff. No, he liked it. He loves to give advice. So he picked me up and took me to dinner. And he let me pay, which is very nice. He said, I insist that you pay.

He did do a good thing when the bill came. He goes, I got it. And I go, okay. And he goes, no, my wallet. I got it. I thought I forgot. No, he does a whole dance when the bill comes. He does a whole thing like he's reaching.

Oh, reaching in there. You're like, oh, hell, really? I'm just getting my gun. Now you pay it. So anyway. The gun is made of money, too. Came back, slept like a tough guy that I am. But it was weird.

You know, the eighth. Slepware, though. Old house, new house. New house. Oh, interesting. Bed, thrown together, rag tag mission. What was your 2 a.m. phobia vibe in that new house? Uh, one of the nine times I had to pee, that's all.

Oh, you're under, you're under double digits. Well, then it's the medication is working. No, I'm so young, dude. I don't pee at all. I pee on Fridays and Wednesdays. You haven't said weiner or butthole. So I just lost a polymarket. Polymarket.

Fuck. Calishi. It's over eight minutes. Calishi. Calishi. We must attack. the trodolites. Talk about your bugs, and then I'll talk about...

Okay, first of all, little frogs are now around. They're like this big. Ew. And what they do is, I'm not quite sure. In the caretaker cottage, I think they come up through the toilet, which they love. They're in the septic tank. And they love it down there. But some little rascals come up, and then they're inside, they're above the waterline in the toilet.

And they're like, it's a little frog. They can't make it out or what? Well, what it was like sometimes I sort of want to send them back to Nirvana, which is a septic tank, so I flush. And then I'm looking, it's still stuck on the side. And then it gets a sense. I bring the lid up and what they do in lightning speed is they leap out, leaps past me, and sticks to the wall.

Oh, they have the little suction. So once they realize they're playing posseum, but once you lift that lid that blocks them. Yeah. They come out. And also, even if you flush, they have some kind of, there's suction legs in our so. So they're everywhere.

I don't like to hurt things. I try to get a paper towel and throw them in nature if I can. But if I squish them or squish them, but I don't want to squish them. Now, this you might find interesting. It's tarantula season up here. I can. Yeah. Terrifying. I am scared of tranchola.

This is a tarantula running as fast as it can. You got their feelers up too. Now, there's a symbiotic thing. You may know this, but it's happening here right now. The wasp and the tarantula, the wasp goes, flies under the tarantula between the two legs and stings it and paralyzes it. On the genitalia? Yeah, so it's like going like this and then... Heather do not pull.

It's still alive. It paralyzes the The tarantula. And then it attaches its egg under the tarantula, which then feeds off. Well, I'm sure that's so uncool. And the tranchele can't do anything, right?

That's the top five funniest thing you've ever said on this podcast. I'm describing nature and animals with a one IQ. It's so mean. So it paralyzed the tarantula, sticks its egg baby underneath, which feeds on the tarantulas abdomen. Then eventually they open up the tarantula, go and they avoid vital organs to keep it alive, and they feed on everything else that's in the abdomen. And then the baby is happy and flies away. And then they take the tarantula, which is now not existing, and they bury it. And this happens a thousand times a day.

All over the valley. Yeah. You'd think they'd at least donate the organs. I mean, if they're going to redeem themselves in any way, shape, or form. Well, that's like the movie Alien. That's where the idea came from. In the movie Alien, they plant, they plant the, you and inside the guy and then it bursts out his stomach, if you remember the movie.

It's smart. I do. Yeah. I just wanted to settle one piece of business. because people have kept asking, I know it's after the fact. Why wasn't I at the Taylor Swift-Travs Kelsey wedding? You know, they're asking, why weren't you there? Why didn't you go?

Well, it's because I wasn't invited and I don't know the brighter groom. And so that settles that. That's combo. That just puts it to sleep. Would your hay hair been ready? Could you have gotten it together? I mean, this hair? Because last week, you said you were going to.

for a summer cut. Well, the summer cut happens on Saturday. It hasn't happened yet? No, I just kind of madded it down, fluffed it back, and did what I could. This is what I got. I wake up and balance it in the morning and then I walk out.

I mean, there's nothing going on. Why is it short on one side and more swooped on the other side? And then today I put a hat on. I put this new dog. Can we see? Okay. And it's pretty cool, but it made it so black in the background

because we haven't tweaked it. I said, our audience, Doesn't deserve that. They need reality and they need it. Authenticity. So. My whole hair is looked one side and the buzz cut is over here, but I don't mind. Who does the buzz cutting?

Is that a barber or is it? You do it? No, I have a young lady comes over here and she's a hair cutter. Okay. And so she thinks that looks good to buzz cutter on your temple. I'm not no criticism, but I mean, she thinks it looks good. I said, I saw it on some prisoner and I thought it looked good. So I want to be a hot felon.

A hot felon look. Remember the hot felon? What happened to him? There is a part of society for some reason that certain women fall in love with a guy on death row. They just can't get enough of the guy on death row. I don't know what it is. That's a Heather or Greg question. I will tell you this is a little deep.

But some guys, some women say, oh, I want the bad boys. And it's very surfacy. give me a bad way. Nice guys don't do it for me. And then they're there later and they're like, I was in a horrible relationship and he was a horrible person and it's time to take care of myself. And I'm like, that was a bad boy.

You ordered off the menu. You got it. Now you have a stomach egg. Right. Can they find a nice guy physically attractive? That's the question. Nice guys are gross. I get it.

They gave me the ick. Yeah. Can you be a nice guy with a bit of bad boy hidden inside? Yeah, I have my own problem, sure. I am pretty nice, though. I have to say, you're a very nice guy. You're known. You might be known as a hair nice to me, but I'm known as nice.

That's the biggest shocker. Because George Siegel, people would say, when they'd see him, they go, that's fate. He's got to be a dick, because I'm so rude on all these shows. All right. They don't know the real you. Because he played that. Yeah. ...jerkers on literally every show movie.

And he goes, the big story is that he's nice. And no one wants to hear it. No one wants to hear it. I know. Whenever I bring friends backstage and go, they go, David Spade's really nice. What a nice guy. I go, well, that's just the thing he played on a sitcom.

Just because he's in a movie. Were you mean to Chris Farley and Tommy Boy? Sarcastic, but not mean. Yeah. When we would, the old days, I was even meaner. movies like PCU i was like basically just like a white supremacist they're like i didn't look at the part like that and then later i'm looking back on what am i do i don't even take that part i'm always like the bad guy and sandler told me once to quit playing the bad guy play the

good guy and i want to like you i'm like that's pretty that's like too many easy secrets there's too many easy things in show business that go right by everybody and that's one of them Well, maybe I should play a nice guy so people like me and want to see my movie. With Instacart Shopper Notes, you can get specific about your groceries. Take strawberries. You don't want just any strawberries. You want the ones that took their time, grown slow, the ones that weren't in a rush to get to the store. Bright red, but not showy.

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Well, the problem with comedy is Dana, in movies, you know this, as well as anyone. When they're hiring people, Sandler can kind of get his pick of the letter for all comedy parts, all types, and all drama. There's really no drama. I think they would say no to sound. They'd say that's an idea. It's a conversation at minimum. Yeah, after Uncut Jams is game over. He can do that.

It's just doing another one that I've heard about. I probably shouldn't talk about, but it sounds so fucking cool. So he gets those and he gets to do other stuff. Now, if you're a regular comedian and people say, why don't you do other types of comedy, I'm in a pie chart this big that's like sarcastic comedy. So once you're on Estelle trying to show you have any angle. Do you have any game, Dennis Miller, you got any chop? What do you got?

Any chops. And you show, what do you got? You got nothing. So you get an angle and then you spend the rest of your career trying to get away from that. So mine was sarcastic, Hollywood Minute, that kind of stuff. And then when you do a movie, they go plug him in that. You go, could I be that romantically? No, no, no, no.

This is your thin part of the pie chart. You can do. We would get Owen Wilson for that. We'll get Vince Vaughn for this. And there's all these comics that do different things. And you wonder why they all play kind of the same thing. Because if you don't get other offers and you have to keep working, you go, I'll do the best with that and make it my best. Yeah, just human nature. If they don't see it, then they don't think

you can do it. They have to see it. Like a lot of people probably wouldn't have given Sandler uncut gems, except the Safty brothers kind of figured it out because he'd done a Paul Thomas Anderson movie. And now they'll give a mini dramatic, dramatic thing. I'd had to think for myself, because I think I was highly passive aggressive. I grew up in a very rough child, as you recall. your sweetheart adolescence was something to dream about. But my characters besides Garth were kind of aggressive. Church Lady was sarcastic and aggressive. Hans and Franz would threaten to literally go to people's homes and hurt them for doubting their musculature.

To throw them with their buttocks, yeah. But Garth, which was based on my brother Brad, people ask about him and I go, I want to be Garth. It's like the nicest character I've ever played. And it paid off. I was the nicest in Joe Dirt. And that's when people go, oh, you can be a nice person. It's like being bullied and trying to just be a good person. And that paid off in that way because it was just a different move, but that was sort of, I got to write it.

And Adam helped put it up. He said, I think this is weird enough. I think it'll work. And he's usually got those good hunches. So that. And then I've not had a girlfriend to like the wrong missy. I mean, I have never been married in a movie forever. Didn't you have a love interest with a dog or something?

That was kind of a romantic comedy. I chased the girl, so it was like I was dating, like looking for a real. What was the name of that? That was lost and found. Oh. I thought it was the name of your last special. Inception. No.

Chris Nolan should have let me play Helen of Troy. He wasn't even a net. What's with the all? Odyssey controversy. It's not out yet as of our taping. You haven't seen it yet, have you? It's not out yet. No, I haven't seen it. I'll always see a Christopher Nolan movie because it's going to be something's going to be very good about it. Yeah. Yeah. I think what happened is there's new guidelines. This is what I read for Academy Award. To be eligible. You need to do. Be eligible. There's new guidelines. And you have. have to stick to those.

Right. Or you can't even be considered. And something like The Odyssey would probably, no matter what, be sweeping some Oscar categories because it's Chris Nolan. So I think he's playing by the rules, what the rules are. And I don't know them all perfectly, but. Well, to me, I mean, if you look at a gladiator, it was kind of in that time, but really more like this, because there's goblins and monsters and witches, the all-time great.

movie of this genre, by far is Jason and the Argonauts. So Jason and the Argonauts with Ray Harry Housen did the big metal man on the island. And the... You mean when we were kids? Yeah, we were kids. That is still an epic classic movie of like sword fighters and Hercules in that era. And I know that Christopher Nolan referenced it as kind of that is not the Odyssey's a more serious kind of film, but that was still the great. of that genre. I doubt Odyssey could equal it. Maybe it could because of Christopher Nolan. Jason and

the Argonauts. That's what was called. Jason the Argonauts. I thought as a kid and it was like very like jerky but they had all these special effects which is pretty cool back then right? Well it's actual practical effect that they're moving in my and my new show and so it's actually creepier and scarier. They still have not defeated a three dimensional physical thing in the frame that you shoot. CGI is still not quite there. If you look at the models in 2001, their models, if you look at the, uh, the creatures, the way that it would move, it was just creepier and weirder. Oh, three dimensional is such a good way. I would just tell people to look at, look at, look it up, Jason, the Argonauts before they see the Odyssey, contrast and compare.

I like 3D hasn't been defeated. I like the way you worded that. No, a practical model, a practical physical model instead of just, uh, computer generated. If we took a poll in the comments, you do seem smarter than me, and it would be probably 100%. Well, this is funny because I'm actually, it's AI, just got our latest 20-minute review of this podcast. How's it going? This is what AI said. AI just does applause for it. That's good.

Which is telling me to press that button. That's nice. And then the idea says, you press this button and this is the answer you will get. The first five minutes was the review was this. Is that a clap or water? I think it's water, but it sounds kind of like a clap. That was after your first story about the houses. Here's yours.

Foghorn. I think we should always have our places set up, and then we're just going about our life. Maybe you're at a restaurant having breakfast, and we just get a call, and it's almost like Superman. We have to just sprint through the neighborhood or drive. and start doing the podcast.

We should never have any advance warning. I just saw today, Jason, no. In the Argonauts. Screwed me up with that, yeah. Michael Strayhan starting a podcast and a podcast company. And there's about seven other ones that are, I'm like, we were here at the very, very beginning when there was only three million. I actually think it was like $1.8 million when we started because I remember we talked about it.

when it was a million podcasts. It's nothing. No reason to get in. Million five. Million eight. Well, maybe we could think about it. But now it is like five probably. It's literally like getting in America.

Today after all this time. And then you'll probably still make money. So we got in. We thought it was too late. Now it's really too late. And then in five years it'll be really, really late. But people are doing it every day. And some poke ahead, some pull back, some collapse.

They say most of them collapsed after, I think, average seven episodes. Yeah, I think It's harder than it seems. It's harder to do it. Well, and also then, yeah, if you go to all this work and you look and you realize your mother is the only one listening, there's one person and mom liked it. Yeah, luckily we get millions and millions, but I ran into someone from smartless. Who was it? Sean Hayes.

We laughed because we'd done smartless and then you had done smartless with him. So we were talking pod. Wow. Did they have any insights? That guy knows a lot about podcasting. funny. I mean, Arnett and Jason, Jason, and I just saw in this Netflix movie over the break. He was good. And of course, I like those guys. And they're all funny in their own way. So I kind of get, obviously I'm sickened with jealousy, but I do get why it works. They're all good. And it's an interesting thing that started during COVID. They were smart. Whatever happened,

I don't even know if they were smart. They were just like, let's just do this. And then it, those, sometimes things happen like that and they blow up. Yeah, they're good. They're good. They're good. Yeah. Oh, I've got a story for you. I'm ready? All right.

Is the guy's name? Who's the guy? This isn't even a funny. No, I can't even tell us. It doesn't have to be funny. We could be real. This is just. I don't know.

What George W. Bush is saying about that. George W. Bush gets his own goddamn. Yeah. He's like, tell the story. Come on. Come on, man. Tell the story. We like to attack people.

They should make him smiling and laughing Because he's better one. Well, I've got all kinds of these freaking things. What do you think I am? What do you think I'm a joke? What do you think I'm a joke? Here, this is just random. Didn't try to put them together.

They just came out. Oh, this reminds me of something for you to do Obama already. That I thought it was interesting. Not bad or good. What did you find interesting? Okay. That Larry David. Larry David goes from being signed.

felt the greatest show. Yeah. Arguably. To curb, which is arguably one of the next. Good show. Good show. Never know what's going to happen. Larry's funny.

And I thought he's retired, but he teamed up with, of all comedic people, Obama. Oh, that's right. Yeah, Larry did a show for us for a miracle of productions, whatever it's called. Yeah. But Mr. Obama, Mr. Ex-President, are you, do you know a lot about comedy? I mean, yeah, go ahead.

State your case. How did this start? Well, Michelle and I always wanted to be funny. We like Saturday Live. And David, we even like some of your stuff. Hollywood Minute was kind of mean, but damn funny. I'm kind of glad I wasn't around with the time you were doing it. You might have stung me.

What kind of joke would you have said about me if you had Hollywood Minute today? Don't put it back on me. Well, I remember a good one I had about MC Hammer where I said, do, do, do, do do do, do, do, do, do, it's over. That's when he was at the tail end. of his career. All right. I would do that to you, Barack.

I'm not an expert in comedy, but that sounded kind of funny. But Larry David's kind of doing revolutionary people from America and they wear different wigs. And the funny part is it's not the actual guy. It's a guy in a wig. You might think it's somebody else, but it's not. And Michelle and I will laugh, laugh, laugh until we can't laugh no more. We laugh at all we can't. Obama's notes are like walking going, maybe something with bears.

It's a funny thing Bears are funny Somebody comes in a room Doesn't know what's going on They go what's going on People tell what's going on And there before they know what's going on That's the magic of comedy

That's what you do What this podcast lacks Is what Larry David has Yeah Wait funny No he's fading out That was a good one to fade out on I know that should have been a three hour energy

No but Jerry is also doing his own show with J.D. Vance. Jerry Seinfeld? No, okay. Daddy Vance is producing his. I can't believe what J.D.'s doing. We are not doing the right jokes. He's got good pitches.

Hey, Hey, do something with Jimmy Fallon. How about, okay, so remember that kid, Brian Johnson. He is keeping himself young. Heather, you know this story, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. This guy was doing almost genetic. stuff and he wants to live to 160 yeah right so the sounds rude but he has some sort of incurable

stomach condition so i that's why i wasn't going to bring it up but i think the the part i'm trying to focus on is if you're at the doctor all the time some fucking blind spot he he hadn't been it had been about going about 11 years whatever he had and they found it but you're getting checked every which way but loose to make sure everything's working perfectly and then adding to that and then making that stronger and everything in some blind spot we could look it up but there was something he had in his stomach and if he's had it for this long it feels like he's in good enough shape where he could possibly beat it well if something's chronic if it's life-threatening but if it's just chronic, you know?

What's been curable that isn't cancer, you know? Well, you know, the thing is until it, I'm now just doing Obama the whole time, until AI figures a lot of things out, genetics is strong. So this is like a, this is what my cardiologist would always tell me, this man, and he was from India, P.K. Shaw, great friend.

This man comes to the doctor. And the, uh, he, the, He says, I want to, I don't know what I should do. I want to live a long time. And the doctor says, what about your parents? And he says, my parents both died when they were 40. The doctor said, do whatever you want. Smoke, drink.

It's like, I do not. Why do you get to 40? Well, the genetics are so strong. I forgot the joke. I messed it up. I'm sorry. I got to give myself a bad review. No, that little thing I don't like you because I can't figure it out.

But basically the idea is that like you can do everything perfect. Jesus Christ. It's still going on. It won't stop. What a burn. What is that piece of shit? This is AI since that's what our podcast sounds like. The point is is that there were identical twins, two women.

One smoke, drank, partied eight. boom. The other was perfect water. They both died at 92, two weeks apart because they had the same genealogy. They're going to have to beat that soon. That's the next thing. But I felt bad for this guy. I think, I think if I remember the quote was the stomach was eating itself, whatever that meant. The lining of his stomach. Maybe. Yeah. So what a bummer because, you know, it's not worse or better than anyone else out there trying to keep going. but that he was putting so much effort. Well, he was making it his whole existence, right?

Blood transfusions. His whole brand and his whole identity was, and he ran with it. Also, here's it, but on a lighter note, here's my impression of, did you know that the World Cup is still going on? It's all fucking summer. I didn't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And USA, in case anyone taped it.

Right, we don't want to give it away. If you taped it, it'll be, it was last week. but go ahead. You went when they play Blasny and Lurzanian-Gonzia? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. They played two countries at once and they beat them.

Also, that was that joke. And then also, oh, here's the guy on the goal like this. You know, they line up to block the kicker on a penalty. Mm-hmm. And the trick is you want to take it right in the noggin because you want to block it. So they all jump at the same time. Right. And so I saw it's cool because they're all.

like this, oh, please hit me. And then the ball goes around him. And then when he did a slow motion, the guy goes up and he goes, oh, please don't hear me. And he lands. Oh, I tried my best. Do you understand soccer at all? I got that part.

No, I know that one team's trying to get a buyer. But I even, finally got enough tour when they're on the side in that last USA game where they really laid down and took it. But the guy kicks it over to the middle and there's one guy that just kicks it right in. I'm like, it shouldn't be that easy. And it's not. Usually it just, and they missed and they missed. And now we're two hours in and the game is scoreless. But when they, when Messe hits it and it kind of winds around coming down right in front of the net and then his guy's right there and just goes, dink, right in. That's pretty cool. I,

I appreciate the athleticism of sprinting and kicking and then getting it. But as an American, you have to get past the idea, pick up the fucking ball. Yeah, I know. We're blocking with your arm. I think there should be more bicycle kicks. As in my imagination, there's less bicycle kicks. Those are cool. Or when the guy just goes inverted, goes upside down and kicks it, you know.

I think that's kind of a bicycle. It's kind of the same thing. Bobby, my guy goes on road with me and writes with me, Bobby Miamoda. He has a scar because he played all the way into college and he ended his career in a bicycle kick because he landed on his shoulder. Oh, because you're, yeah. Never quite got that shimmy back. Yeah, that'll do it.

I killed an audition for grief. Spine and compression don't go well together. God, I'm okay with my shirt today. It's good color. This is the best you've ever looked in the podcast. I've ironically. I love it.

I just came, I ran from Jersey Mike. Yeah, you were like Dustin Hoffman and the graduate, you know, right down the street to get to the chick

and the chapel. Oh, wait, I got two things. I know we're doing five-hour buzzing around, but I want to hear about it. That's right.

I have nothing. Let's hear your first story about the name game, big event on the farm. Right. Mm-mm-mm. We have a baby horse. Is it called a low for a foal or a coal or something? I'm not sure I call it the

little feller. Yeah, I ain't you little feller. There's a mare and a foul and a foal. Yeah. A foul. Yeah. Didn't I already tell this? Right? No, you said it came out. Yeah, you helped it out. Yeah, well, our caretaker, Jose, who's, it's technically his horses, but they live with So we're proprietary about them. But now the baby horse at this point is like six or seven days old and is galloping all over the pasture. Yeah. And we were putting in a new fence and the three horses got a jail break at like 5.30 a.m. They got through the other little fence and they're just running around the property.

They're down by chilies. They found them by chilies. Yeah. They're on the one-oh-old. one asking, where's David Spade's house? What a Hollywood. But it has not been named. I liked your possible name.

Possible name was suggested that because in the early days, the baby was weak. It wasn't getting food. But it was trying to stand up and do these pratfalls over and over again. So possibly floating around is naming the baby horse Charlie Chaplin. I don't mind that because it would turn into Charlie, which is a cute name. Or Chuckie. Or Chuck. Chaz.

Also, I saw that you put out on Twitter, what should we name it. Really cute picture of the horse. And I liked Whitney's, was Whitney Cummings at Dusty. That wasn't bad. Well, someone said David Spade. And I said, we think alike. I said, but there's 300 horses named David Spade. Yeah, there's so many.

And so many people have named either Joe Dirt or David Spade. Spudley. That's nice of Whitney. Oh, yeah. Dusty's kind of cool. Yeah, people were jumping in, and I heard a couple good ones. But I do like Charlie Chaplin. I just like horses.

I didn't really understand, you know, how kind of magical they are. You know, they don't have a higher consciousness, you understand. You know, they're just pure. They're not, like, worried about how they look and stuff. I did see an actual baby, not a horse baby, but. And they put it up to the. the horse and this horse is just letting the baby pet it. And I think they just know this isn't the bad guy. So they let the baby do whatever and the baby was like giggling. It was very cute.

Well, the baby and the horse and the mama horse are just like this pretty much. Oh, that's cute. Yeah. Just follows. Yeah. And the other horse that's in the pasture is sort of a loner now. She's been kind of ostracize. Rojo is her name. So we kind of make sure, because the other one's proprietary about resources. We go up to the fence to feed them. She gets upset if Rojo gets her. So I'm feeding Magrosa, and then Paul is feeding Rojo.

I guess we didn't have a contest to name them. Okay, thanks. Magrosa, isn't that a detective show from the 70s? Like manic? Yeah. No.

Magrosa. On ABC. right after the love, Bo. Magruder and loud. Give a comedian a name and you got like two minutes of right back to the 70s TV shows are always good. Maddox on all new Magrosa.

Yeah. They're really fun. They're uppers. They're cool. Yeah, thanks. Now it's time for buzzing around. Aplaus, applause. But sometimes we'll text a little bit and you'll suggest and I have an idea,

but literally right now, I have no idea in my head at all. We will cobble one together. Sponsored by FiveR Energy's Firework Freeze Flavor. Ignite your taste buds. I know you're getting more nervous. With a red, white, blue freezer pop classic. Reimagined is a delicious Firework Freeze,

five-R energy shot. Fine, Firework Freeze shots online at FiveR Energy. com or Amazon today. Okay, so that. That's that. And I'm going to go back to you. And now, let me see. What are my, what are some old, deep guys?

Oh, maybe. Oh, maybe. You know this. He's not Alfred Hitchcock. Alfred Hitchcock. Anyone more a little younger. I know. Oh, yeah.

They're all ancient. Well, I do have, yeah, I have different ones. Yeah. Okay, maybe we have Trump kind of talking about the latest crisis dealing with the used car dealership guys in Iran. Okay. Bro. Bro, we don't have a deal yet, bro. I know.

Trump and Iran and then maybe you could throw in. Trump and I ran. It's like him talking about Iran because as of press time right now, the deal's off. Deals off. Maybe just do Trump this time. I'll start out with this. Well, maybe you can throw in two other presidents. two other presidents.

Oh, oh, he says Charles Barkley, Stallone and Obama playing golf. That's terrible. That's terrible. This is terrible.

Terrible. He wasn't at the wedding, Barclay, because he played golf. I don't know what you're doing about with this. I don't, come on, come on.

You got a case of those yips. Nope, get it to the bump. The yips. The yips, remember that's the yips. They got the yips. The yips is a great band

from the 70s. The deal's off. I'll tell you, I'll tell you this. The deal's off. You were nice. You weren't nice. First you were nice. Now you're not nice.

You got cute. You got cute. If you weren't cute, nothing would happen. But you got cute. So if you were a bump a tub or the head. You got cute. You shouldn't. I got cute.

Where did Don't Get Cute go? That's a great saying. That was what he said once about them. If they get cute, you know, they get cute, we'll drop a bomb right in the head, you know. My dad didn't tell me don't get cute. Don't get cute. Don't get smart. Don't get cute.

I'm like, those are the two things I want to be, cute and smart. Okay, let's do this one. I'll do Greg's Charles Barclay's vested on Obama playing golf. We'll do a quick one of that again. Oh, damn, I missed it. Oh, that was just terrible. That was terrible. That's all I got is the one word from.

No, terrible is so funny. That's a terrible golf shot. So long, what do you think? You know, you brought your head up. You know, you got to keep your head down. You know, I'm talking about it. Yeah. Well, I don't...

This putt's gonna hurt you point in it. We got a guest. He's going to hurt your point in a gym, no way. Don't give yourself an answer. So everything's going to hurt you permanently? I'm interviewing you know. What do you mean when you say it's going to hurt you permanently? What are you talking about?

Every time he... Well, because he's going to fight Mr. T and he's going to hit him so hard, it's going to hurt him permanent. Well, I'm taking it. I'm taking a page. from David Sveh. We're going to hurt him permanently if they don't get their acting together. We know how to hurt her. We're going to do it.

We've got to do it. That's great. All right. That's good. That was one of the grays. That was buzzing around if you didn't know it. Sponsored by Five Hour Energy's. Firework freeze flavor.

The iconic red, white, blue. Freezer pop flavor you crave with none of the sugar. Spark a tasty. That's nice. With all the firework. work freeze five hour energy. Yeah. Keep going.

Available online at five hour energy.com and Amazon. Really? Yeah, yeah. Hmm. Interesting. We got to get Barclay on.

I sort of knew Barclay in the old days. You know, we got Luke Wilson coming on, so that'll be really fun. That's awesome. Yeah, Barclay would be great. He hosted SNL. Actually, I was there when he hosted one of them. I mean, if... I think, I signed the books.

I think somehow I was coming through that show. But I wasn't on the show. I don't know. I know we did Gap Girls, and he was, we made him a girl, a Gap Girl with long braids that I'm at the Gap and I'd say, oh, we all played. There was a slumber party. We played Spin the Bottle and I wound up making out with a chick. And then I go, oh, my God, she's here. And it was Barkley as a girl.

And I'm like, oh, hey, let's not be weird about that. The crowd went crazy. Crazy around. And they went, wah, wah, wah. Okay, and Stallone I'd like to get on. Stallone's awesome. I was just actually watched Cliffhanger in the last week where he's up on the mountain. Hey, hang on the rope.

Hang on. Hey, you better hang on the rope. You're going to drop you down there. Look at me when I'm going at the frame. I'm hanging. It's like this. And John Lithgow is the bad guy. was amazing.

So it was cool. I think I like, over the top is where it got a little itchy when he was the under the, the, you know, arm wrestler that was. Oh, that, yeah, he was the professional arm wrestler. And there's always stakes to money to buy a new truck. Because I got my kid as deaf or something. Sloan's movies are just nice and clear, easily to digestible. that's what's fun about them.

Yeah. Yeah, I got to win this tournament and my kid going to get an operation. You're going to get a cochlear earplant. Ockler? Cochler. Cochler? All right.

He goes, proven. And the kid looks over and he goes, I don't know. Did you win? I didn't hear the thumb. I don't know. I can't hear the crowd. And he goes,

and he goes, yay. Turn it up. I would have been terrible with that. You like that noise. It's for a UFO. That is good.

I guess they're threatening to come out and tell us something, but I haven't heard anything. I've heard those. The government. They keep saying that. I wouldn't, I would, I'm still scared of UFOs

even though I look at them all the time. Okay, so now, I don't know. What is this, night gallery? No one does. Good, if a date. My name's Alfred Hitchcock. What you've seen on this podcast is a terrible, terrible affront to humanity. Worse than murder.

What? What? What? That's right. I'm talking to you, David Spade. Or should I say, Joe Dirt. Ooh. Sounds like Michael Kane.

I don't know. Alfred Hiscock was famous back in the 1960s. He directed Psycho. don't write us letters. Oh shit, we better do a couple of news stories. We're getting late in the game. Oh, news story. I thought, okay.

Are we over? We're almost done. Let's just see. Okay, schools had to remove analog clocks because teens couldn't tell time. I kind of believe this. Yeah, that would make sense. Their whole life, it's just been digital on their phone. They don't know cursive.

I was joking the other night that the Super Bowl has to get rid of Roman numerals because no one fucking knows what that. You know, kids don't know real numbers. They don't know clocks. Do you think they know what? They're like MCX, C, Charlie. They don't know anything. I go,

Rome, they don't use them in Rome. I mean, guys, it's over. It's over on Rome. Yeah, let's let go of that particular motif of history, all right? That's the rap, guy. Yeah, don't do the numbers in Apache. All right. The Super Bowl is the only one still clinging on to the Roman numerals.

traditions. All right, babe. Next story. That was a good one. That was good, see? Dumb kid's story. I like it. All right.

Here we go. I can't read that. If you do this, please let me know. There was a wedding. I would walk fast or if I was fully on fire. Well, isn't that CGI? Are they Stomp Man or something? Stomp Man get married, I'm guarantee it.

But still, that was too long to watch. That's a good look. I mean, even if I thought, first of all, they just got accidented that on fire. But you're not hustling enough. And even if you're a stuntman, I sort of go, did we get it? We got the picture? Put me out. It was always kind of interesting.

You're on a movie set, someone's going to get lit on fire. That's so true. There was a lot of rules. There was some tension, you know. And you'd say the stunt man, you ready? You walk up because you're an actor and they have to talk to you. You ready? And they're like, yeah, get out of my way, dude.

And you're like, yeah, I wouldn't do it. I once was talking to my stunt double and he was about to take a car hit. And I'm just standing next to him. I'd do it, you know, but insurance, you know. I'm over there like fucking Miss Pris going, and you walk down the stairs for me after this? You have high heels on. for no reason.

I had to do a, in the wrong messy, I had to do a handstand. I think when I'm with this girl, I get nervous. I show her I can do a handstands. And I actually walk and I hit a window and flop out and drop two stories. And the guy had to do it. I had to do a handstand. And then the guy had to walk and then fall out the window. And he did it like a champ.

And then racked up so many views on TikTok. Don't add up to monetary money. but no but some a little bit you get a taste do one more god we really we really BS and then the news gets gets pushed aside

oh the clips the web's extra for next week all right let's see what this bullshit is oh I like this so a guy comes in a bar let's play it again start from the top the guy comes in a bar and he's being an asshole

okay and so the bouncer says stop the guy goes don't don't touch me and the bouncer doesn't give his shit And then he says, Oh. You're closed.

And why are you touching me? Mr. Bald man, why are you touching me? First of all, that's, you cannot call me bold. You are bald, Mr. Clean. So I was, I was trying to order food. Why are you touching me? I'm not touching you. I want to get folded like a launcher right now?

What? Do you jiu-jitsu? Yes, I do. You do? Yes, do you? Watch this move. Keep touching me. Show me.

Show me. Show me. So far. I'm very intrigued. Show me, thank you, Ziu-Gi. Oh, no, my boy, you're in trouble. The confidence, my man walked up with the, after he threatened him, that was way too calm of a reaction.

Brer said, you know Jujisa? Brett had a smile on his face, like he'd been waiting for someone to try to play with him. And the cherry on top of the picture. He showed the picture with the three. Oh, there was a picture. It's a gym. Watch it again. Oh, uninstalt, homie.

He pulls out his phone and his screensaver is him at a tournament with two other jiu-jitsu guys with medals. And the guy talking to him goes, oh. So here's my question. So there wasn't an actual fight. He was just intimidated and walked away. He was like, oh, you want to fight me? Oh, jiu-jitsu?

Yeah. I love it. I love it so much. I teach it. And the guy was like, oh. Sure, no. No, I'm maybe stepping away. You know, I was a bit rude.

because I, you know, I didn't think I ate a chili pepper a half hour ago and the, you know, nauseous. Working on my temper. Yeah. Well, you've got to think of your thing you would say. Well, I'll do it to you. Hey, man. Hey, look at you, Shave Temple. What's your problem, dude?

Get me a table. You know Shushishu? Do you have a Shih Tzu? Shih Tzu dog? Oh, I'm sorry, man. You're too. I'm too. I'm sure my shitsuit dog.

Hey, I apologize. I love me. It gets excited. The guy keeps freezing it. Well, Mr. Clean, you want to get folded in half. I know. I should have beat him up anyway, just for saying that. Yeah.

You don't call me Mr. Clean. You call me Mr. Dirt. But if I'm ever threatened anywhere, sound like, you know, did you do? What do you say? What? I say, you know, did you sure? What? And I go, put you.

You know Guzuntite? What? You know Guzuntai? Do you know at you? Oh boy, maybe we should end on that 10 out of 10. Yeah, yeah, that probably took, bake the cake on this podcast. Did that bake the cake? We should meet the listener that's still here at the last.

No, this is where the gold is. The sloppy gold is at the end because we get a little sloppy. Yeah, because we're tired. We're a little more punchy. Not tired, punchy. I've been loading boxes all day. Now you've got to go back to unpacking some kind of frying pan here, iron here. It's the only water I get all day.

At least you have good. Your little studio is pretty cool now. Yeah, I got the studio and we might do it in here one day. We have a possible band coming on soon and they want to me, you and them, and that's five in here. And I'm like, I don't know if you fit company. Oh, wow. Can't even fit five? I think we've never done five people total. Hmm.

Who was the last one in the studio, go? Was it Brendan Frazier? Probably. Like, maybe. See pressure, everybody. It's a really good movie, or you can get it on live streaming. On streaming, sorry. I know.

It's a very cool movie. It's great. I think Bus Boys is going to one of these streamers in November. I'll tell you more later. So first the theatrical lease, then whatever it's doing now, and then it'll officially have a home on a streamer.

Yes. Damn, monetize much? And I'll tell you about something animated next week. But anyway, thank you for coming, Dana. Thanks for coming home. Sorry you had to do this in the other room at my new house. No, I'm glad. I was just somewhere, someone tapped at my shoulder

and said, get in the room and do the podcast. I said, okay. I think people are going to ask for more horse videos. So next week, have something ready. Oh, I'll do. I can do a ton. A little clip, you know, something. If they want to see how the horse evolves, I mean, every 10 days, it could be a different horse.

I think that horse, that picture of the two was so nice the other day, gives you good vibes. So anything about the horse people like, it's nice vibes. Well, yeah, it's the opposite of the crazy world we live in. It's just a sweet horse. Go on and do not get me stuff. Mm-hmm. Okay, buddy. Bye, guys.

Thank you. Bye, everybody. Thanks for coming. All right, listen, if you're enjoying the fly on the wall, of course, hopefully you are. Click follow. We don't want to be desperate, but obviously smash that goddamn button on your favorite podcast app. Smash it. Smash.

Leave a review, a good one. Leave a five-star rating, nothing else. Whoops. And maybe even share an episode with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please, subscribe, Dana. What do you think? I'm going to tell you this right now. Him and I'll believe me later.

Fly on the Wall, believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey. And executive produced by Hold For It, Dana Carvey and David Spade. Or David Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't write this stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman, and Leah Reese Dennis. The show is edited by Evan Cox, with production support from Phil Sweet,