Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Dennis Miller

Episode Date: May 18, 2022

Bombing in front of high school classmates, hiring Norm Macdonald on the spot, and pizza at Jay Leno's house with Dennis Miller. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whether you're doing a dance to your favorite artist in the office parking lot, or being guided into Warrior I in the break room before your shift, whether you're running on your Peloton tread at your mom's house while she watches the baby, or counting your breaths on the subway. Peloton is for all of us, wherever we are whenever we need it. Download the free Peloton app today. Peloton app available through free tier, or pay subscription starting at 12.99 per month. Okay, Dennis Miller, who is a really long-term good friend who's a brilliant mind and one of the probably best pure stand-ups, you know, because he did it six years

and nail it every night, the best update guy in SNL history, I don't count Kevin Neeland, because they only did three years. I think of him as a sketch player. Tina always had a sidekick. So I think Dennis is the best pure, you know, Chevy was brilliant as well, but I put Dennis up there and he's funny, it's fun to do Dennis.

Yeah, they've been lovely. They get great people on their own. Yeah, I should have tried to do up there. Colin, Colin. The current people are great. I, Colin Quinn, yeah. Yeah, and Colin Quinn and Colin Joe. Yes, and Scarlett, Joe Hanson.

Scarlett, she's awesome. Oh yeah, she's awesome. I don't know anything about the show, she did it for a while. Crazy. So this is the end of the show. Okay, started out in the whisper horsey movie with the Redford cat, all right?

So Danny got me on the HBO young comedian special. That's right. And he helped get me on SNL. He's the one that gave me the famous advice before I went on at catch rising star. Hey, Spudley, don't kill two hard. It'll throw up a fucking red flag. I go, what do you mean? They don't like some polished road hack. I go, oh, anyway, so wait, I don't do well. And they're like, David Spade. And I go,

so I walk up and they're just looking at your writing. So I did it and Schneider did it. And we got on the show. Dennis was a good champion of young comedians and he's a good talent scout. I mean, notice the kindred spirit. I think that you have some symbiotic, comic DNA with Dennis. Yeah, I know that clone. But yeah, big influence, especially early on

and he helped Sandler get on too. So he's and Schneider. So he has a big help to us. And here he is, your boy, Dennis Miller. Want to only Dennis Muscle? Dennis Muscle? Christ, thanks, Carvey. What was in your tea that day?

All right, it's called Miller. It's not exactly the toughest pet of green. You could think, can't put that. Anyway, when I do Dennis, my IQ goes up, but right now it didn't. So ladies and gentlemen, the man without the sunglasses is now going to say, it's Miller time. There you go.

[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Our guest today, this is the only official thing we say. Dave's always on the verge of splitting. He lives on, Dave, he's for a song. It's like a surface tension where you over pour a glass and a tremolo that that's spudly with it. Big passed out was the kind of monocleure of hiding itself. Before I forget to do a gig once in Pennsylvania where we went we were having so much fun in

the backseat of the liver that we went around 100 miles the wrong way before we figured out the driver. Was that, was that me or you and Dana? I don't remember too many drives. I thought it was the three of us that we got in a car on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. And we were laughing our asses off. And we do remember this at all. Or am I just doing a brineway and trying to get out of the car? I remember a lot of drives in darkness at night from gigs.

Yes. That just seems to me that I've been remember being in a car with you guys and all of a sudden saying, Hey, this we're heading towards Pittsburgh. We want to go to Philly. So there we go. That's my story folks. Yeah, that's my episode now.

I'll start with getting insanely silly in back of cars after gigs. Right. I mean, we'll be used to seeing it. Ridiculously. I just always got. Remember, we had that we both lived across the street. I'm, it's always good. Remember we had that, we both lived across the street on the Upper West Side, and it was that fuck hat who played the Jamaican bus.

It's a drum call, where you hit a big walk and it's boiling and it's boiling. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I had a guy at the other time playing that till two in the morning. And Chris could have said anything or do or buzz killing him. You know, all of a sudden, I'm striding away there.

It's the one sound on the planet, I can't sleep through. Buying, buying, I don't like any sounds. Those New York, I was from Arizona, it was a sweet kid off the streets. And then my first apartment in New York, you guys with a bromline, the fucking nice place the bromline. Why was it the bromline? Wasn't it? Was it dead? Was it your pen? Two thousand dollars a month. Why was it the wrong way? Wasn't that your pen? $2,000 a month.

Were you the one who was across the street on Edgar L on Post Street? I bought a place. I remember that place. How nice. Pretty nice. I had these pipes in the middle of the night. They're full of steamers and they go,

Kang, Kang, it's like someone is hitting with the steel pole. And I go, I call my landlord. I go, something's wrong. He goes, shut the fuck up. Don't ever call me again. I go, what? Everyone was just waiting. I go, the way it is, there's no way to see. It's like a real landlord. David does, he has to have a scene array. So think about dropping you. I always, I'm touched by that. It was made that he has a supreme comfort. Watch him on Ellen or star. Very, very kind of show comfortable right then if you

tweak something like this this picture of fate done away is hanging a little tilted to the canning fucking get out of bed in the morning. Yeah I was getting and by the way it's before Uber Eats it's before any delivery so I had to go down to like sleepies and by imagine to try and free blocks up my sleepies like there's no help at all, you know what I mean? You're ancestors. Right.

And the comedic kind of tripe-tare. It's either sleepies that play, but dropping these references perfectly timed. I would drag it up and then I'd get one desk, a phone, and that's all I had at like two spoons because they kept telling, you know, Lauren, I let Lauren get to say, I might not come back the next year, so I had to move in May and then wait, and then I'm on a month later, he goes, okay, bring him back. I'm gonna have to come look for an apartment,

way more stressful. I should have spent the money. Lauren would do the pickup of democlease thing hanging over your head, so you were like, you're right on a wheel. I'll do anything. Mine was Whitney. Do two bad ones on her own, co.

So you were anchoring with Whitney, bro. 85. You were there one year before me with Terry Swini, Nora Don, Whitney Brown. That was your first season. I remember going to Luchiles one night with Robert Donning. It was a sweet, Robert Dany. Oh, he was your year. Yeah.

His first year. And his young girlfriend coming with me, she'll pull next to to Luke Charles, Sarah Jessica Parker. She's like, oh yeah. And I was playing the Potter Familius with guys like that. And Anthony Michael Hall. Right. Anthony was standoff. Is your brother. It was the sweetest cat in where we had that Randy Quaid. Yeah. Going up country. I don't know. I'm going to say that. Yeah. A little up in the attic. He's auditioned for militia roles.

He's on next week, because I look, I think, we'd love to have everybody ready to act. I take it back to Cand Heat Plan to set 24-7. Little freeman action on outside of Big Fork. And to be sure, a poor denietra who passed. The denietra. She was a lovely, very swiney who I saw in maybe last year. And he's still with his husband who they were

together then, so that was lovely to see. And love it, of course. And smigel that prick. Yeah. That kid smigled. He wrote that last scene where there's a fire. Oh, the fire. So at the end of that season.

How about you? I thought you lived through the fire again. I thought you lived. But they didn't say that that night. The funny thing was Lauren runs into the fire. Gramps love it. He's a great joke, but when you were waiting on a pick, I kind of thought I'd get picked up, but you never know. The season was considered rough because Madonna came on the first show of the following season and said it was a dream or something. It was a whole season. But you survived it and thrived.

And Nora and Whitney. And John. And John. John was the biggest hitman. Well, John was the biggest star in the world. And the John was a genius was, we're flying in to do our auditions. And they put us all on this L1011 out of LA.

Actually, remember that plane that had two and the outside, two and the inside? Yeah, they were like little shaky. Oh11 out of LA. Actually, remember that plane that had tuning outside, two onions, and five little shaky. Oh, huge, huge fire practice. Yeah, I'm in the middle. And I'm sitting next to Lovets, and you know, when you first meet John, he's so childlike.

Yeah, I'm a hulfen. And we're flying in. And you know, when I get up tight, I get so sardonic that I kind of drive people away as I look back. I get so sardonic that I kind of drive people ways I look back I stress yeah, I Then later in our relationship I could cut you about how much I love him but upfront until I form bonds I'm so uptight that I yeah, I kind of gets nuts out but just a little

Love it's is going on and all you're not John. Jesus Christ say high pull his string. What do you talk about this point is he on the show you're going in to do the show. We're going into audition. To audition and I say so John what do you do? And he said oh I'm a comedic actor I'm in the groundlings and I said so what will your audition be? And he said I'll do some characters and I go what is what what what character you most proud of and he said on the The pathological liar so he's a this guy lies incessantly, you know, and I'm sitting there thinking Christ It's like seeing a gazelle limp on the sear and getting me to feed on this cat That's the big picture You're sitting in front of the S.N.L. It didn't sound that great.

It's Star Chamber going on. I didn't remember anything, but then... Crushes. All of a sudden, I start seeing that thing, and then he does dress rehearsal the first night, and I introduce him as Tommy Flanagan, the president of Lyerson on the... Lyerson on the...

And he grabs me, it goes well, but he grabs me in the break and he says no No, it's not flanagan. He says there's no other way to really pronounce flanagan except for a pathological Liring makes the a log it's flanagan and I said I looked at I said Jesus John that took my breath away. I said that is such a cool little axon or a cindiller or something. I thought, oh, this guy is sharp. He's amazing. You know, you look at Flanagan, you're going to say Flanagan.

Yeah, he even had to lie about that and say Flanagan. John, that's great. We had him on the show and he, you know, he really stood out because he looked different. Him and Phil Hartman too, he's had these 40s things they would do all the time. And his voice was so big, John, but Matt, yeah. Stunt you in that whole thing. But for you, like we knew each other from the clubs

and you probably knew David a little bit too. Before he got in the cell, maybe right after. I remember David and Charlie Schlotter. Yeah. Remember, in Snyder, we used to go up breakfast at Jerry's famous deli on the caravan, Ventura, you'd be there with like Tori Wells and now covert when I went Tori Wells. You guys are coming full-prone porn star was at Jerry's

I'm like oh yeah she's like straight out of the porn like that's great and we got a great legal guy no, one time ten matter of. And I said to them, they were also diminutive. Feeling like they come in and they're all like, well, killers. Charlie was funny too in his own way, but he ended up blocking with a clipboard next to Dick Van Dyke for four years in a hospital. Remember that? So diagnosis murder.

Yeah. So they came in and I remember I told you you should put your shoe called tiny cops. No, yeah, it's a tiny cops. Or it was just a procedural. But everything was just like Jerry Orbock and one of those procedural. But you, all the prompts were made just a little bigger. So you guys were to whip up to a crime scene

and people would say, that's, look, it's the tiny cops. It's all in and they'd open a door to hands. Hop out and they'd be, you just set a scale up. So everything was done. That's right for me. Right now. Because I was like, I'm waiting for Michael's a Fox to host for that one.

Give it to us. Hey, come on, search. I'm so, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I What are we doing here exactly? I did a benefit from Michael at night and he stops two days out. He's such a bench. He stops taking his pills two days out. Oh, so he... So he... To get the fun raising on? Oh my god.

That's what an absolute beautiful beast he is. So we're standing there talking. I bet I have to process that. You know, it gets people to go oh shit. This is for real I mean it was interesting. Lumi. I you know, you're like gobs back then You're also tearing up thinking wow, this is a warrior. They fuck this disease fucked with the wrong guy And we're doing a gig and Jason Bateman comes in And he said hey, do you know Jason? I go now. No, I like Jason Bateman

But this was before arrested development. I just seen him in a few things and he said let Hey, do you know Jason? I go now. No, I like Jason Bateman. But this was before arrested development. I just seen him in a few things and he said, let's go say hi. So we go up. This is the first thing Jason Bateman, I'm sorry, this isn't us in element. I'm just I think it was supposed to do sure. And he goes, I guess Jason Dennis smell and Bateman looks at me the first utterances. Hey, what's it like to be with both teen wolves?

I mean the first utterances hey, what's it like to be with both teen wolves? He put on us Michael J. Fox's teen wolf and then Jason made this I forgot he did great. I was just laughing out of courtesy Because from Fitzburg Both did teen wolf they both did Tee-Win that's the Whenever a watching those aren't known, it gets really weird. I think if you go, hey, what's it like to be with? He is the team wolf guy. I remember when you got on SNL because we did some club dates. In fact, it's it's it's interesting story that I was playing the San Jose improv. I think I was headlining it and then Dennis Miller, I said, who? Dennis, my my what? So I picked you up with the airport in San Jose,

and you were my opener for like five nights at the San Jose and probably like eating. And we got a house of fire, right? You had a farm. We got it over this guy. This is a trouble. Well, actually, usually I was, you know, I had the lady had some chop.

I had my heart is to fall. I had my little impressions. You're a horrible. I like Dennis right away, but I didn't pay much attention. There's another middle. I had to stay. Middle-act poker hanging down and take a look. Every night, I started, I'd go right away, but I didn't pay much attention. There's another middle-eyed, you know. Middle-eyed, and then every night.

I started, I'd go up there and I go, what is wrong? You know, if I didn't, I wasn't watching his act, you know? What is wrong? And I realized then I went out and watched him. I said, holy shit. So the first 10 minutes of my act, I had to deal with you. Because you were a headliner. I mean, it was ridiculous trying to follow you.

But what struck me is when you got in S&L and then we were hanging out and stuff, you were telling me how emotionally trying it was being on that show and it kind of scared the shit on me and then I got on the next year. So, we're by member you just going, honest to God, you're trying to find a way to do so. Yeah, all of a sudden you get the keys to the kingdom

and you realize that they can They only have to come up from the desk and ask for the key They can just do that kill like trying to cancelation or it doesn't work in the door anymore It's all right. Yeah, it's pretty fraught I'm but you know what I was such a wuss then I'm glad I got it. It gave me rhinoskin. I don't know about you. Isn't that one of the best gifts? S.N. I like a rhinoskin. Isn't that one of the best gifts that's in? I like Rhino skin. It made me tougher for everything. I'll say showbiz. Everyone who's talked about says

that you can do anything after that. Whatever you want to try to do. But also, I was telling, like, I come in. Dennis was my favorite comic. I didn't know Dennis as well. So I wouldn't say you weren't my favorite comic, but I knew Dennis and of his stuff. And then I got to open form.

I think it carolines seaport. And great work with you, you you know and you said nice things about a couple of my jokes and my kaja googoo jokes or something. And then I had a pretty good act back there. And I'm coming out with my life's in the video. Oh shit. I didn't know that. The carol in the air.

The carol in the air. Yeah. Yeah. Shot a shot. Shot a shot. You know what my joke was? It was pretty clever. I said I told my guy did a police academy movie

I told my tax account and I go so I made No money and then I made a lot of money and then I made no money again He goes there's something we can do he goes. Oh the kajigugu proposal of 1982 And something about someone that made money didn't make money and yeah He went on and did one other thing, the never ending story, that song where the kids sing while he's on the dog's head. That guy did, oh, that was Le Mans from Couch Academy. Yeah, Le Mans.

So he had two big hits. But he also, you know, he worked with George Eomeroder a little on that and they became friends. I think Le Mans does well now. That's why he's so much fun and video. He had an Irish shoe pain. That's so true. Yeah, wife on that video. The end of my issue, Pat. That's a lot of your... Yeah, we were loved by you.

It was a model when you met her. She was a... But that video's cool when you go back and see it. It's one of those videos that you don't... They have some sort of loose narrative there, but it's mostly just the model and Caroline and my club. It's cute. I told Dana before with love.

It's the first time I wrote. I didn't write for you But I you helped me get on this young comedian special that was before us and that right he hosted and he sort of squeezed me in from five comics To six remember there was only gonna be five but then you helped Brad and girl It's helped and then so I got on so that got me and boys in the audience. We've talked about that Cool, it's cut away. Yeah, there's our crowd Bowie. Yeah, it's not Joe and Wurley like Robyn's. Yeah, he's, there's Bowie doing a gunbuster bending over.

And then I get on the show and then it's me and Schneider and then Dennis is like, Kika Spudley, get a crowbar and then I'm fucking kick me some update jokes. Don't forget about your boy. Is that been his consistent nickname for you? Because he always calls me Carvey and you're Spudley get a crowbar and I'm fucking kick me some update jokes. Don't forget about your boy It's that been his consistent nickname for you cuz he always got me car v. Yeah, and Nielin is Sammy We will talk about why that so I would try to once I realize I've totally exited I read For the week and nothing got on then I'd go and just and try to give Dennis some crumbs with update jokes and slide him out of the door and then herb sergeant. I agree.

You're Sergeant. Did you get my jokes? You got my rock. I mean, none of them are any good. So, we would try to write for you and I told Schneider, help out Danny, man. He got us here. We got to throw in some jokes. But it's hard to write for guys.

This is good of a joke writer. I'd say the best. I make my best plus. Yeah. I Christ. Es un buen idioma. Yo digo lo mejor, me voy a hacer un poco. Sí, sí. contenido de tus correos electrónicos, segmentar tu público, entre muchas cosas más, adivina menos y vende más con Intuitimale Sim, la marca número 1 en Emilio Marquetinha Automatización, empieza hoy mismo en MailSimple.com, vas a verme a tus públicos de marcas competidoras en número globales de clientes en 2021-2022. Dennis is pound for pound the best update person in history. My opinion. And also the longest single guy, because I was looking up update host today. And Tina always had a sidekick.

She was brilliant too. Right. Single. Yeah. But as far as six years, six seasons, solo, 120 shows down the barrel. And herb was big. Was herb. Herb, you remember herb's office was like the Louvre of Saturday Night Live, the Smithsonian,

we had everything. He knew I would go in there. I couldn't really write till around Friday at four o'clock. I'd get scared. And I'd make it. And I'd make it. And I'd make it. And when I got scared, I thought, you fuck this up.

You're going to be back in a club in Baltimore, man. You know what I mean? It's like, get your head together. Don't be whiny. And right after I would have that moment, I could write like a beast for the next eight hours. And Herb would sit there and tape everything and write it down.

And he'd hold, he took an exacto knife and he'd cut out articles and hold them up and I'd just flash on the article. That's your brilliant idea. Oh yeah, riff about it. And he had like, I remember we were blue she's, beards, because because her bed every piece of Oh, how cool. And to feel inspired. Not that I was like, I'm not saying anything like

John Belushi, but you could sit there and put the shark on the land shark or you could have the ears on. And I know that's fun. But it did remind me I was on Saturday night. You better fusture ass here and kill man, because it was, you know, the day to day of it, you guys must know, it was like work and there were times you'd forget it and then there were other times you'd see George Harrison walking in the middle of the night and you'd be reminded that you were at the lowest of it all and it would make you hustle because you wanted to stay. It was too much, too much to process. I can't imagine people coming on now,

because we followed the original cast, the superstars, and then Eddie Murphy, Billy Crystal and Martin Short, Christopher Gas. So the idea that for me at that time that I was on San in life was insane. So to deal with that pressure and score, but I've never seen anyone in a room write jokes like you.

And I know people have talked about it besides me, like with the recorder on, topics going, when did you know you had that gift? Because you told me once, which I think is an interesting story about doing kind of your first stand-up date in Pittsburgh and inviting kind of local friends and stuff, and it was a disaster. But where did you get the idea that maybe I got something?

Like as a kid or just around or... You know when I started the... And by the way, I want to say that that night you never know about people, do you? You know, you're talking about when people like jokes on this thing but when you're sincere. Yeah. I remember there was this like sun god quarterback for our football team.

Yeah. And he was the first guy to have a super B for 40, you know, and a muscle car and managed to run the scupper as name was Mike Mennigazzi, Roger Vahig. Yeah. You have one? We have one, super stud, yeah. And I just ate it in front of 150 high school friends. It's rough in a

weird way because you're so, you know, you're so like an emotional hemophilia that about people proving it. And it went horrible. And I remember him coming up to me in the street. Yeah, you never had the time of day for me or that turns out he just we didn't cause pass, but he said, hey, or that turns out he just, we didn't cross paths, but he said, hey, you should keep that up. You have something. And I know that this is always gonna be brutal for you. That was tough. He said, but you have a funny sense of humor.

You should keep it up, but he walked away. And I remember thinking, after that, I got so much less neurotic about it. I remember thinking, nobody has put a gun to your head to get into this. You could have been in Vietnam, you could have drew, I drew a number where Charlie had to be bungee jumping off the St. Louis Arch for me to see any action.

But you could draw that number where you're, you know, all of a sudden you're with the, oh yeah, no, we're a dumb kid and I'm marsh somewhere I'm stuck in. I'm a trash. But life gets a lot harder. And I got so much less neurotic about it. And that's when I started to write better jokes. Because I remember thinking, this isn't a sword from the Stone

Moment. This doesn't always have to be some Francis of the CC Pring on a rock and a beam hits you in the head. Just shut up and write 10 jokes. It's like Letterman used to say that always made me, it's parts of the day if I don't get it, I was always endeared when he'd say, hey, we're entertainers, have too funny stories

and get on and tell them. Yeah, I'm about to show you. You don't wanna know anything to your fucking jokes. I got to tell you two funny stories. I think it's nice that you did that because, I think it's interesting that you walk away because I think it's interesting that you walk away bombing in quotes in your head you fucks that but someone you know you people don't always laugh out loud or there's people that go

Everyone's not laughing. I shouldn't laugh But I actually think this guy's pretty good and have someone out of the blue that's influential like that especially at high school When he died early and I somebody you know, you're on a list with your fellow graduates He died early and I, somebody, you know, you're on a list with your fellow graduates. And they said, he died pretty early. And I must admit, as little as I knew him, that made me so sad. It's like a stab you hear that and you go, oh, wow. Is that weird? What's happening? I'm 68 car view.

You my, are you a little younger? I'm a little younger, but not by my side. It's hardly one of you. 41. I mean, Heather, check the Wikipedia. Will you change it again? You just want to, you started to, now I see people drop me. It's so weird. Or you just start noticing the age on people.

They have a heart attack anyway. At 51 you go, what the fuck? So now you're in the vicinity of like, oh, people are dropping or, or you look at a picture and you go, I'll use two aren't here anymore. And you go, oh, these two aren't here anymore. And you go, oh, fuck, man, it's rough. I have a big picture in my office.

I do not just look at Spudley's office. It's so sweet to see those memories, but I look up and see Phil so many times. Right. Just miss Jesus, weren't we privileged to be with him? I had a flash air cigarettes who were talking to Bill Hader about nerves and I do remember distinctly being terrified,

but I'd come on before a sketch and eight H and I'd see Phil and Jan and they'd be in their costumes and Phil'd be looking at the script and they were calming. You know, your castmates, I call them bandmates. It would calm me down to a point we're in this together. Going back to you, you were just alone, right down the pipe for like, how long were your segments normally update?

10 minutes of jokes and you'd have to... But there's always a guest. Yeah, there's always a guest or two. Yeah. What it is, that old Carson lesson about, those are not gonna work, and you have to not be a sweat act when it doesn't work. You need every joke to be perfect. That gets a little precious and erotic. They wanna see, if you have any not be a sweat act when it doesn't work. You need every joke to be perfect.

That gets a little precious and neurotic. They want to see if you have any scarim ocean you when it doesn't go well. Can you still Zorro a little scarim? The guy who was the... You know, a rapier or the rapier. I got to go back to junior college. I didn't know that one.

I'm just saying that they want to see some sefua fair when you eat it. That's more important than better than good jokes. And Carson was always so brilliant at that. He used to watch that and say, why is that so intoxicating? And I thought, well, when this joke goes awry, the only mistake you can make is the double down

or look like an asshole or like you're so bullet-riddened, you can't take it. You know, you fucked up. It's definitely a joke that doesn't land, and then they see you smile or laugh at the other. They got the idea that it didn't lie. So it takes. You don't even have to be witty or anything.

You just have to look, which is aware that you just, this is what you mean. This is what you mean. Bits stand out with you. I don't want this line always to out my brain. I don't know if you did it in an update, but it was just so you and it was so dry and bizarre. Jimmy cracked corn. I don't know if you did it in an update, but it was just so you and it was so dry and bizarre.

Jimmy cracked corn. And I don't care. And I don't care, long pause. What the kind of hell out of tune is that? And is that, did you do that in a day or a long time? I started to try to write jokes when I was in a fellow thing as far as I used to always think indignation, what am I?

It was like the full-crumbs. Right, I, what am I? It was like the full chrome. Right, I had one of my arcane reference. So when you boil it down too, as I got kind of on the 101, what am I? They're about made from Jatino. Whenever I get stuck, that's what I'd write. And when I couldn't even come up with one of those,

I would just do a rhythm joke. And oddly enough, you built that firewall for me when you used to do more smiller, where you wouldn't even say where you just go. Yeah, I mean you're happy too. That's what that joke was just a real car. What am I? Gliko and I say things right away. I think you said you like Nick from a different one.

You'd say things that weren't even. Can he make sense? It's brilliant the way you do. Because people would walk away going, I didn't get two of those. You're like, oh, he's made those up. Just because you got to keep people off-kilter a little bit. Like, God, I had almost every reference.

I always thought the core joke, the mothership should be accessible at all. And the next one should be accessible to four-fifths. The third one should be the other fifth. And the fourth one, they shouldn't get that's where the garbo is And it doesn't even have to make sense, but you walk away It's just your stuff. It's just so smart. You don't even have to mean anything. I don't know. I'll see you've done how many specials 10 10 specials 9 specials

Hmm, which I open for one maybe black and white or maybe mr. Melagos watching it I was thinking of shooting for 10, but I don't have an in me anymore, man. I'm like Jimmy Arnuss in season 22 of Gunsmug. I'm flinching. You know, you have to be Jimmy Arnuss James. There's a kid in town with a fast gun. I don't have any word. Last one I did, I was so fucking nervous.

Well, the way the world is, it would be here. You'd be seated on your, for your 10s. I could do this. Just a little room with just like three people. But you stand up in front of that, thats. I could do this. Just a little room with just like three people. But you stand up in front of that crowd. I just don't... Listen, I'm glad... I played golf with Charles Barkley once

and he's terrible. Terrible. Well, he didn't even have a hitch in his back. So we had a mini-stroke. You know, we got to go to a warm spring. He's in the pool with FDR. Just think of it. I don't understand what their girl is saying. He used to be, I remember going with him and he'd say, I can't believe I embarrassed myself like this.

And I said, Charles, just be glad it wasn't in your, your free throw stroke. You know, he stopped in the middle. It could have been in your rice ball. So I always thought, you know, as long as it didn't impinge on my rice ball, like the knot acting or anything like that, I was happy. But can I just insert this for a second?

One time, Dennis and Kevin and I did a date and we were too afraid to take the private jet. There was weather, so we drove for like four hours. And my, I needed jokes about kids in high school because my son was working on a stand-up. No, yeah, we had. And you were Dennis sat there and came up with like 50 jokes Just sitting in the back of that one of was like um, I'm not I'm gonna paraphrase it I don't want to say I'm going to a privileged high school, but I hung my jersey and my wine locker

You know, but it was one after the other, you know, I probably was clumsy with the music. Listen, if you do, if you stay in it, it's a map of my life. It's okay. I'm just a rapid fire. And then you can pull and they've got something and then you've Mr. Miyagi, the ten, you know, you just put them in a bit. You know, I watch you on stage.

I know that you take it up there and get the language right, you know, and the rhythm's right. Yeah, great standup, man You know when I first saw you obviously you were like a such a young kid and then I've watched you over the years And nobody I mean those Ellen things Ellen Ellen can be a little quirky, but you're so smooth with that and then you go over to Stern and and then when I see your standup periodically, I go out. Well God rest the soul norm But remember you and I normed recently. Oh, that was the last time I saw a norm.

That he for sure. Yeah, I mean, now maybe me too, because he wouldn't do, we wouldn't every, during Corona, he didn't say it was going on. So you just say, I can meet in a week and he goes, I go, all right, we'll go to this restaurant outside. I go, no, I mean, it's, it we come to my house there. But we did this fucking gig me and Dennis You guys played that big junk. Yeah, yeah, I don't know for home right up

But an on south of dad star. Yeah, I think do we take a plane or something Yeah, obviously is left so so can you imagine us three idiots? Oh, yeah, you guys took it Yeah, Norm you I remember you guys talking about this I had a headache that is my neck was all fucked up as pre usual. So we're driving over there in Norm goes, do you want anything? And he's only clutching like a falcon. He's got like some prescription bottle. I go, oh, I think I'm writing this.

Do you want fentanyl? I go fentanyl. It's very norm. I go, doesn't, isn't that the one I want? Oh, he's on. He goes, yeah. But he just dose. You don't overdose. I go, oh,'t that the one I want to oh these aren't he goes yeah, but you just dose you don't over dose I go oh

Was he kidding I don't know Can't tell was like Andy Kaufman if he could have written jokes, you know wasn't all I love nandy, but it was Theatrice's norm was like that. Yeah, but he had such weirdo with jokes. Yeah, the first right. Theses norm was like that, but he had such a... We know it, Joe. Yeah, the first time I heard about norm was I was doing HBO. No, I had a talk show that was syndicated.

Oh yeah. And somebody said that there was a new kid from Canada and they had glimpsed him at the improv. And I said, well, he said his name's nor Mcdonald i think is that he fell into this and i said we'll tell you what's he like and he said i just remember one joke i remember you should do that great joke about i feel sorry for the homeless guy but i really feel sorry for the homeless guys dog

because you know the dogs thinking this is the longest fucking walk i mean do we go do we go in anywhere because i could do this on my own. I left so hard at that joke. Yeah, that's what I was asked for. I say, well, see if he wants to gig if he's new in town. So they call Norman, you know how they always say, put together a packet.

And this baby laugh, this is the midwife joke that makes me laugh. And he says, Norm says he won't do packets. And that word sounds so funny. It sounds grim like your taskmaster. When you say, I want a packet of jokes. He said, but I said, one joke, and you can make a determination. He said, remember the joke you did about Dahmer?

Where he essentially reads the UPI wire copy of the Jeffrey Dahmer trial. And in so, I mean, it could not be Grimmer. It's like, uh, Ronnamus Bosch sort of, and he disemboweled the young boy, an 80-untrue, but you know, all that stuff gets to the end of the jacket door and says, in his defense,

Dahmer said he started it. It's such a noir. I am on this spot. I fired him on this spot. Put him in a room with Drake say that the great Drake say that he was on that young comedian special of this. And they tinfoiled the window shut like Elvis. They both smoked smics.

Not. And I mean, they had writer would go over and ask him for jokes at a certain time and they bridled it that. And I said, listen, these guys are rare. And just think of that as a like, orchid hot house. Those are two geniuses you can't ruin the humidity in there.

So I said, I went over to the norm and drank it. I said, listen guys, I don't, I'm not, I'm not gonna take your best jokes. I don't wanna know your best jokes. I need some sixes and sevens for this monologue because norm would write jokes and I'd have to hand back to them. They were so brilliant.

I said, I can't tell. I'm not going to take this joke. This will be what something you've been dragged to. He was a stone killer. They said, fight, fight. At 130, it literally is like the food slot in Papillon where the jokes slide out into the door. At a 12 joke, some of them were so crazy that you thought, I'm gonna go to hell just for seeing this joke.

And then a couple were just purring. You know what I mean? They were two brilliant minds, and you know how they love to be left alone. They didn't wanna. Drake Adele, a couple of, I remember when he goes, I went to a funeral, he sounded like Dennis. He was kinda doing a little bit of that.

A lot of people, I think that's him. And he goes, I went to a funeral and I was wearing same yeah, she was kind of doing a little bit of that. A lot of people, yeah, we got it. And he goes, I went to a funeral and I was wearing same outfit as the deceased. How embarrassing, but how did I know he'd be wearing a two-drunk to fuck T-shirt? Yeah, it was a blast. I just pulled up on this card and the bumpers

they're gonna say, help stop bombing in Iran. I pulled up, I said, I can't get my girlfriend to stop fucking my buddies Let me can I handle that price out ironing out everything and Insert anything One night up in the balcony at the improv and Jay was holding court. Yeah, I had like a tweet had on a Call you mister He called you Mr. Arsacone and Doyle. I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. He's got a five leg.

He's a bachelor. He's like sitting around with a half circle. Mr. Covey. And Drake's one of the people there and, you know, Jay. And if you have a TV shot, you tell your eight best jokes. You don't say jokes for the second shot. You don't have to be a second shot. You tell the best date on the second one.

You do nine through 15, you know. It's like 40 minutes to theocratic method. Yeah. At he's like I can't boys I got he's I could forget what he's got excited about the monster mobile or something that he blotted auction we're driving in a unit cycle down the four or five so Drake's sitting there with a cigarette he looks at his he thinks Jay but I have a father He thinks Jay, but I have a father. That's 45 minutes straight. Then finally, well Jay, I love listening to that stuff. I'm not making fun of Jay, but you know, he always had a tutorial.

Jay was right about a lot of stuff. Yeah, and that was Tom. You don't stop. Great story, man. We first moved L.A. You talk about moving to New York, Spain. When I first moved L.A. from Pittsburgh. I was so scared and freaked out. It's such a deal.

You at least had the Bay or any new California life, but I came out from the burg and it was like, Christ, there was on another planet. But thank God Jay had more of a proletariat underpinning and he would have the same guys up Seinfeld, Brogan, Larry Miller, Mar once in a while we'd meet up at Jay's house, up off of a castle drive. It was called. And you'd meet up at Jay's house up off. Oh yeah, a hassle drive. Mm-hmm, it's called. And you'd go in and Jay would hold court at night. And he always had pizza.

And if you did a shitty TV shot somewhere, I don't give a fuck if it was like AM Warsaw. Jay had a copy of it. He saw it. Yeah, well, well, crane technology. You know, that formatting. Oh, great. He was waiting to see what it says.

There wasn't even streaming that but you would have a he'd load up a three eight cinch. Hey dangling at that is on madam's place this week. Wow interaction. I jinx and so. Good job on Mike and Maddie. James Bond TV's all over. He'd watch all the shows. Yeah, and he was going on. He would download all your worst stuff. All your worst. What happened here? And then there'd be banging from upstairs.

Oh, maybe it was some sense. Hi, so we're seeing you at J.L.N. on 9-1-1. Yeah, this is J.L.N. on. Someone upstairs on my house. I just need someone to check it out. Are you married? I'll never mind You did the funniest and by the way that documentary car blew me out your commitment I was so proud of you which was the brilliant show that they did with Michael and Colbert and But there's a great documentary about it. You can see all the data is of it.

And listen, that's a bad play by Brad. I've got Brad Soul, but you don't put data on with that. That crew, that's a wrecking crew. That's like a session guys, how blame and all that in that studio. It was a K-pillars HBO show. And God bless Tim Allen. I mean, he was a huge hip,

but there could not be more chalk and cheese. There's a rich saying. No one said it was on prime time following Tim Allen. My favorite sketch is you did, uh, didn't you do the incredible journey with Jay, the dog and the cat and the dog who go cross country? Yeah, some kind of weird sketch movie. It's a it's a dog. Any journey or something. Yeah, but it's kids movie and my yeah, am I confusing this was stillers this I don't think what I did

I did And smigled did it was you on the side of the road like that. I don't think it was me I think I did Jay and smigled it quinterantino and we got so excited In father dogs like Stillershock somebody did a great thing called the incredible journey Which is a Disney movie when they're young is two dogs and a cat dropped in a vacation spot And then to get back across And they all make it over to them and but somebody played Jay and this is what I always think of Jay He was always closing. He was a stone killer when he was in the work mode

He never heard about anything else. I remember he played good cup bad cop with Helen Kushnik like you know I remember I had a band on my show one night a talk show called you through Yindi They were an aborigining log band. They're standing there You know like an aborigining log band. They're standing there in, you know, like, skirts made out of that, you know, that sort of stuff, no shirts on, and they're hitting big logs on little logs. This is what I'm booking at this point, because I'm like third in line on the talk show thing. So the youth, you and the manager comes up to me and says, hey, we got a call from the tonight show. They said, we weren't allowed to do it if we did your show. I'm talking to a guy in a loincloth.

I said call Jay, I can manage her. What the fuck are you doing? You're kidding me. I've gotten to the limb. I'm not trying for Tom Cruise. I got to youth through gindi. The guys tell me that you're bracing him. That's a stint. Yeah, I had no idea how in you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you.

I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you.

I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm not hailing you. I'm there's food over there because Master and Mr. Sully's provide sustenance. And then the third creature is no longer a dog, it's Leno. And he's got the shitty crinkle cut tie on and a stand-up coat. And he's like, oh, he's, and we could bump tricky here, would. And we could

bump too. Thank you. It was all about the tonight show. We had them too, we think about getting back. to do that, you have to do everything to buy a good back. It is every thought, right? And then you have to come in for the Christmas. Yeah, yeah. You pick. The Do you want to talk about SNL a little more? People with SNL.

Yeah, those six years. Was there a point where you felt you turned the corner? I mean, I remember one time there was, Lauren had Whitney kinda try to maybe culture a little bit or something. There was a blip there and then after that, you seemed like you got comforted. You know, we're not gonna say this,

Lauren changed my life. He's like Henry Higgins, you know? Oh yeah, I was a little one. Yeah. I look back and I don't even know if Lauren lads it over as much as you give him to, you know what I mean? It's such a all-in-

I'm nippin' and power in there. You mean it's like in your head about a lot of them and like, you want to go Lauren, that's what I'm really thinking about you. Yeah, every day you're like, I wonder if Lauren thinks this. I wonder when he's like just on a treadmill at all.

I'm gonna give her a fuck. It's like Paul McCartney said about the Beatles music because he listened to Winston Churchill, still all, you know, Wal-Blee and Hissy. He listened to the Beatles, we get shiny and bright roll at the time. And it's like Lauren, the further you get away from the show, the more you appreciate having to handle the network.

The ego is the sensibility. So he gets a lot of, I don't know. I don't know. I want to stop worrying as much about him because I knew I was making him laugh. Yeah. Oh yeah. I get a little better at it.

But I do remember coming out of the box and having a bit of a... I had this happen too. It's one of the gift stand-ups giving me. I was always such a neurotic kid. It's always self-sensual. I wasn't self-loathing all the time, but I had a quick switch to it. If anything went wrong, if I shot like a 61 and nine holes of golf, I'd go, oh, you're such a, you fuck everything.

You know, I had that thing, and I got over that with Lauren. I didn't turn on myself as much. I remember thinking, you better get on your own side here. And it happened to me on Letterman one night, where I stand back there. You remember how scared I was so scared. We all was out on our own by the other men. And Biff stand in there. Yeah, Biff is so sweet stage manager. You want to go on you go on. Yeah, to care in the world He's so cool. Yeah, you know, you know, I mean they do this a lot somebody must be doing it right and right before I went out And I had all day long been you know, they put you up with that

Hotel on Madison right there where all the watches were, I've been on the Longings building or whatever, and then I get up, I'd walk on Madison, go back to my room, try to lay down, walk. I was totally on the day of the show. It's like a nice day. And I remember thinking right before I went out, I thought, Christ, you've worked so long and so hard and you've diled these jokes in.

And there was the hectoring voice, you're not gonna do this well, you're not gonna do anything. And I just said, it was like a big moment in my life all that therapy, I was just shut the fuck up right now. You can start hectoring me again for eight minutes, but I gotta go lay waste to this. Or my life is gonna be all her neurosis

and I'm not even gonna have scored. And I put it aside. It was a pretty powerful thing and I got to that point of that signal where you just thought, I say, I can't go into this every week thinking it's the end of the world as we know it. Well, I always felt like I had to kill, like because I auditioned for SNL twice. It didn't go well. I followed Canis and so when I got on the show where I went on Letterman or anything and I could say maybe I was pushing too much or it's so theatrical or whatever, but I felt like if I didn't kill, there's no more job like I'm out and I felt that way all the way through SNL.

Just had to kind of the best skill. You're the best performer that's ever been on there. Listen, is it recording? No, no, I mean there's some geniuses on there, but you're a mixture of a proletariat ethic, you're ear and Christ a proletariat ethic your ear and Christ of the world class sense you and carby has that ear and for rhythms. It's amazing and then you mix in the fact You can write great jokes and then you mix in the fact that he's dog And I remember used to come up with the old man character You know, it's not a not sketched at all. I'm not sure it's about the

And I used to hit you on the leg right before you went on and I'd say this is going to so fucking die and you watch this and you destroy these kids. I don't know if you would get up there. Yeah. Thanks to Adam. I don't like these now. I'm comparing the way they think that you could be

a baby voter joke for me once for that. Oh, I did. Yeah. I don't like these latex condoms It might day at a rabbit skin you tied around your yonka, whatever the bungee cord The bungee cord is the same one over and over again The dry Joe this while do this one cuz I like this one I So this while do this one because I like this one. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry for that. Wait a minute.

Amy, I, here's at the element flame retardants. So when it's sleep wear. Yeah. Yeah. But something about, I ain't gonna bitch smoke, you go to bitch, we ain't gonna go to the flames. And that's the way it was. You liked it.

Look at me. I'm on fire. I'm a burning coat of corpse. And I love it. I love it. It's so hard to go back. Yeah, you just arranged that shami. And I would just sit there marvel at that thing. This motherfucker, you're gonna have to carry him out. Yeah, because he's gonna go till that moment. Yeah, I tried too hard. I don't know. Fuck no, that's the show that works. When I saw you against Carmen Bacillio at 148 in the garden, you were beautiful.

Now is that a real boxer? I think it was a cat, man. It's that Carmen bat Bacillio. One to one. Golf with Dennis. We did a gig in Palm Springs. This is probably as an SNL. We drove all the way out there.

And we had to stay tonight. We had to do a gig in San Francisco. We golf and Dennis gets mad right away because he's not not playing perfectly. So I go, uh, I go, I go, hey, uh, I get up. I go, hey, where's the green? He goes, Spuddy, you don't have to worry about the green from the 12 fucking shots. Just hit it. And so I say it to my friends all the time when I asked him where the green is steel Denny's jokes Denny you uh you uh you worked at point parks recreation room

You were around the air hockey He's You never the nicer Beauty he's good he says that doesn't get off because he knows how We're what happened if I would do joke about impressionist right go what happened to Ben Gazera all right Worked at a TCB why yeah, I think it would go TCBY. Yeah, I think it would go something like this. I turned it back out. No, I'm not going to fucking do that.

I just want to get right up to the precipice and right up to the precipice pivot and you should take back the Coolsville. And that joke caught on the indifference and what you just did there is so funny because the fact is folks, I was the commissioner of an air hockey league at the and spade lays that down and then moves away because he knows how uninterested I just like the noise of air hockey he's got a little Michael Winslow and I'm David's no the big sound effect the. You can you do, uh, cool, yeah, he's the, uh, I'm sorry. Is that a hard drop? Wait, do the little quiet bird. Wow. What's, what's the

blind British guy does? Have you seen that, Rob? He does the, oh, boy, the, the little man, the voice. It's just too pretty. Have you seen that? You got to watch it on your two bad. There'll be anybody but Michael Wenzel. So give me that guy. Why do I just met in sound effects? You met with Jimmy Allen. He used to work with a cat and a Jimmy Allen. And he had a Ken Svera.

They used to do impressions. And then Ken Svera broke up and went back into the business world. And Jimmy Allen got Alex. He was a Mexican kid. He was blind. Jimmy was so sweet with him. He'd lead him up on stage

and they did that brilliant bit where they would go between train cars on the way to the next gig. And it would be tricky to even remind me of wins. I didn't know. Yeah. Then they'd open the door to go between the train thing. And you remember they used to do that perfect volume up.

Pissing, pissing, pissing, pissing. And then you'd hear the door slide. They'd go back in. No, I know it's some plastic books, but this thing was so real, if you shut your eyes, you just said, I can't believe it. The wind is amazing. Any of those noises are really just texture and a bit

to make them throw you in there to make it sound more real. You're not a sound fish. Yeah, yeah, I just do it, and I don't even know what have some. All my friends at home used to do it when they tell stories, and then it just turned into it would just naturally be in a bit I like I do it. Yeah, I came in late Who has a chops of your two sons or do they have different chops or what would it tell me about Tom and Dex?

He's a sci-fi fanatic. We're doing this scripted podcast. He's the idea guy and I've heard a couple there, but youers. But you told me you're extrapolating them out, right? They were short, but you're gonna make them work. Yeah, we're really into it. I didn't realize it's like making the wide album. It's like showing apocalypse now to a blind man. Yeah, there's a lot of helicopters. They're really scary.

They're coming in low, you know. You gotta explain it. Yeah, so we had to learn the process. We started out and we had to redo it and redo it. And now we, I think we have a rhythm on it. So sometimes ideas and decks as well. And decks, decks does a lot of voices and rights. And you know, people who are listening now, fans of comedy,

sometimes writing is just an idea in the room in the moment. It's not all just that a typewriter by yourself. Yeah. He's like, yeah, we should, maybe he should go into the game. It's not all just that a typewriter by yourself. Yeah. He's like, yeah, we should, uh, maybe he should go into the game. If something like that, there's some little thing of, uh, we have that Mario brother. Maybe he should go into the game with his dad. It's like, oh, that's a brilliant idea. Right. Then he ran with it. Yeah. But it's just a blast. He has two sons. It's fun working with yours. You know, when you just did the, uh, uh, fans of comedy thing, it, it's such a Robin Lilt the way you did

that. And it reminds me how much I miss our friend Robin. Oh, yeah. And I think you saw him closest to the end, didn't you, Carbone? You guys see him in the Marine County? When I was up there, Mark Pitter was a very good friend too, he was a great comic friend of mine. But Robin was there a lot, I really got close to him.

And we would go to that little theater up there, The Throck Morden theater on Tuesday nights in Marin County. It'd be packed. One of the best theaters in the country. And he would come in. And I really didn't understand him until then. You know how he called everyone boss. He was so shy and differential. I've been doing a set and he'd be off to this side going like this. He was so sweet and so vulnerable and yet so such a powerful Performer that you it's hard to reconcile those two things, but we finally hung out I think I was just in all of the new Prears but you finally just we hung out talked about life and stuff and then he went down To LA to do that half our sitcom. And that was the last time I was on.

Yeah. I saw him at the other one night. Was the other the one with the long thin window long? Yeah, that was in San Francisco, where I met my wife, the other cafe, Carl and Comet, the other one night, when he went up on stage, and the mystery science 3000, everybody walking by the window. Yes, and you would riff for people

in this giant picture window. Yeah, certainly. Yeah, certainly. Kenneth Center on 230 in the morning one night of the comedy store. Waiting into some tourists who thought it was Dr. Phil Gooden. Then he went and ton levade. Dark screaming. We're all work-scared. But rather than that night, people would come at a predictable cadence almost and he would annotate them. Is that a brilliant one night outside that place, I'd done a set and he stopped me. It was Misty with a lamp post. There's the other.

And this was this was before I he went to LA like and you know before he passed away. He said, Dana, Dana, and he said that he always had this idea and his head that I had came up with talking about your dick like, Oh, I he said that he always had this idea and his head that I had came up with talking about your dick like, oh, I'm Mr. Happy, referred it. But I never did. And at your wedding, he mentioned that to me. I think people said that maybe you came up with Mr. Happy. Never did.

So he brought it up again. Sounds good. He brought it up again. I feel like, you know, maybe I took Mr. Happy. I said, Rob, I tried to take your whole act. I tried to become you. Oh, wait a minute, that's not the way this was supposed to go. One time I was in the, I don't have a story as like you guys, but I was just obviously

in the, did you know Robin paid a little bit? Yeah, I met him to Bobcat and then again, friendly, but I didn't know him well at all. So here I am auditioning before I ever met him at the improv on Melrose and I have a showcase. So you know, you got to go up and do like seven minutes. So I'm waiting and it's packed and they go, you're next. And then they go, we just gave him the light and then I'm waiting here behind me. Her and I go, it's like predator. I go, oh no, and he's watching and I go, oh my god, it's fucking robber-wing. And then he goes, they go, you want to go up next?

Okay. And I go, no, no, no, but there's nothing you can do. It's too big of a force. And I even, I'm like fuck it go and then he went on and did maybe an hour and then I'm trying to fight my way to the crowd because everyone's leaving the people there to see me are like they've done one for you like you forgot your carry on back and you have to go back down the aisle on a point exactly that pushing you out of the way to the end. I'm sad and this is- Excuse me, I gotta get back to 23D together. Yeah. 23D in the center.

I'm like, wait, the people who star, are you leaving? You know? So, sweet band though, very sweet, really vulnerable person, but what, a fucking genius. Yeah. At our crap, but I do when I do these talks with David and this podcast,

I think of people like us in high school listening to this and it is kind of an interesting aspect to it. Because when I was watching, I don't know about you guys, I watched people on TV as a kid and they would never really say how they got into this. And then I was on Ed Sullivan, but I wanted to know how the fuck do you get into show business? Yeah, that's all hard.

I thought you were going to show up some jokes to a kid named Joe Bolster. Do you remember Joe? Joe Bolster, Canadian. He was in town working at the Pittsburgh Comedy Club and Christ, I was living in an earth and floor basement. I was like, step away from being, you know, Hannibal Lecter's lighting stand in. It was so grim, I like it.

I cracked it. I just had an apartment with an earthen floor that I like. I was like 40 bucks a month. It was so broke. I delayed bad Indian rugs on top of it. I go to the comedy club and I have some jokes and Joe bolster by three or four of them for 25 bucks a pop. And then I'm laying there watching on this TV that I have. It's so small. This is in the

era of cables just come in but I'm watching it on rabbit ears. Still so broken. He does one of the jokes on the tonight show and Carson laughs. You know, it's Carson with an ass caught on. That's how long ago it is. You know, he's sitting there and he hits the table. And I remember thinking I you know what I'm not a natural entertainer, but I've got to become the conduit for this or I'm going to fucking go crazy. How old were you at this point? 24 Okay, and he told it and that's changed it for me. I mean that's I then went out and started telling him my own because I thought I'm not this is hard Jumping up here at a strip club or a jazz club

and telling jokes. It's not as hard as laying there. Yeah. And in a department with an earth and floor and an Indian rug on it. And watching somebody else make Johnny Carson laugh with something you thought of, you better get it together, brother.

I also shows you're in the vicinity. You're like that, just right there you go. Wait, I did want to throw him in a pond. I'm on TV, and I'm close enough to get it, so I'm not that far off, yeah. It was a, it was a, a sitter at the net, too, was an easy one just,

Joe would just move that from New York car, he's like, how do you like LA? He's a good, good to get part time job during day, I drive around during rush hour, my car report on helicopter traffic. Yeah, just inverting, but when I first moved LA, it was like all those, it was like Ray Leota making spaghetti, all those helicopters and skies, but this is so crazy.

And it just got the car, you know, that's correct. Yeah, I'm enjoying one of my favorite things ever done. You are correct. You, I remember we were at a comedy magic club, like in 1981. Yeah. Still at the point of not knowing, is this going to be our life? Is this going to be our career? And I remember meeting, I don't know if we'd already worked, but I didn't know you that well, but you kind of said to me, I don't have any gigs.

I got no gigs. I remember that really stood out. Like you were scared. I was a little shy. Yeah. And I couldn't be forced myself on people. But you didn't have any gigs. You were talking about, you had no work.

I mean, you can't send that tape to the Denonzi O'Brothers. No, when I was, I think when I was around 20 years old, I made seven grand for the year. And I remember thinking, I better hang in here because I'm behind everybody now and then it's certainly after that it happened thank God for guys like Mike Lacey who would give you a burger we're talking about the Hermose of each comedy magic I don't know Mike's still affiliate

if you're in California it was a show placing it was a beacon in the night for lost comedians because we just all go down there sitting that That freeing in her my quit feed you and the sweetest guy in the world and then he had an animatronic dolls You know he'd say hey I gave my Eddie brakken doll a new belt loop, you know, and you did you go on either He had comedian puppets and stuff It was comedy magic. You remember following it comedian puppets and stuff. And it was comedy magic.

You remember following a magician? Yeah, I'm a jitter. I'm following a magician, but then you'd go out. It's time to go out. I remember when I went down, he had that little marquee. I go down with Jimmy Alec. Do you remember the great Jimmy Alec? Yeah.

And I'm the opener and Jimmy's the headliner. This is when I first get the L.I. And the middle act, you remember Jimmy had the bad leg for childhood polio. The middle act, you remember Jimmy had the bad leg for childhood polio. The middle acts Marty polio. If we pull up to the morning, it's Jimmy Alec polio. That's his name. Holy, that's his name.

Okay. He's a thank very much for booking. He gave me a cosy line of earth. Names that disease that took my leg and I should try tried to count the speech in pen and what's your opener? Jimmy Tarets is gonna be on before you I can't wait for you I can't let Dennis go without thank you him for being in joder Spade got it gives me cash with the kids. I can't tell you how many people,

I don't know how that thing turned into something else, spade, I know it did too, but it's like a Wayne's world. That I'm better. I have people come up to me. That's their favorite movie at all. Yeah. Bog was my mind. Not the bog was my mind, but I didn't know Joedder

until I did the movie. And then all of a sudden I had this whole new audience people just fun. Yeah, that locked out Joe dirt and I you're good. You're really good. It was called it shame for well Dennis I want to tell you first of all you do great job. I'm talking to you. Dennis. I say I want to say I

So it's not, you did a great job, and I'm talking to you, Dan and I'm gonna say, I wanna say one, do you have any fun? I just wanna tell Dan, there's not what you can do better, but we can do more. And hey, Fred, you're gonna be our guest one of these days, Fred's coming. But we did, it was called Shane, because that was a funny name for that guy. And then I said, what if it's just Joe Dirt? And it's very potent.

It, which I didn't love, but then it kinda caught in there. And it was sort of a crystal match guy at the beginning, and then we kinda made it a little nicer. And that was a good move, that was, that was Ted Lasso way before Ted Lasso. Yeah, it was a sweet a crystal mess guy at the beginning and we kind of made it a little nicer and That was a good move. That was that was that was last so way before 10. Yeah, I was a sweet guy Like a sweet guy where you really close a vibration, right? And it was first time I wasn't super sarcastic and all that and God and it wasn't making fun of the South It was sort of one guy was really like a genuine authentic person and Kid Rock was great. You were great Dennis and I I'm a really I had script pages on my lap

Because I think we had Dennis for one day. And he was just making up joke after joke was just fucking spinning gold, obviously. Why don't you and Jane Fonda from clothing up. We tried to write like, I can't. I was there to joke. Oh yeah.

And then I was just trying to look down, look up, say my lines, look down, look up. Because it was too hard, we were moving too quickly. And like, 12 pages a dialogue, I'd keep going. Yeah, we knocked it out then, because it was too hard. We were moving too quickly, you know, and like, 12 pages a dialogue, I'd keep going. Yeah, we knocked it out then. And that was a productive day. Yeah, and then I think that it's got out a lunch or something,

because it was like, we got it all, and we didn't know how hard it would be, but he was nailing it all, and then he would just riff on each one and give, I'll give you three for this, and then it was like, three jokes, you're like, fuck it, you know what I'm saying? Oh, but I lost 10 pounds after I saw Joe dirt to he was nice not to have me in for like a particular no Joe dirt to yeah I'm sitting there

and like it's before on tuck it so I've got a regular length shirt to hanging out down you know like a moomo or a look at Alan Carr I got this I could not I can't watch that movie without seeing how fat I was Yeah, I know So right after that I love I appreciate it. I'm not I'm not exactly Frank Gorshin in the Riddler costume now, but I'm at least lost a few Like Donnie Sutherland sure enough Jimmy My first movie I did a movie once with Michael Douglas and Donald Sutland and it was called

disclosure. It was about sexual. That's a great movie. And I remember seeing for the first time how the other half lived because as soon as they'd yell cut, you know, Michael had my whole world wired. He was gecko in real life and sudsy was so funny. He was like a hippie guy, was gecko in real life and sudsy was so funny. He was like a hippie guy. Very cool French hippie sort of French Canadian hippie. And they would go down a pair of steps. There was a golf cart there. We'd be in the golf cart. They'd blow out through the doors we were out in Warner Brothers studio. We'd go down Mike had this trailer that was like the Taj Mahal and he had a he'd call ahead and what your drink was. I love it. I love it.

I was at the door with our drinks and we'd watch the NBA championship. Yeah, I just remember thinking it was the, he and Donald were so funny together and you realized the guys like us, quite frankly, I'm from Pittsburgh Sputley, the young guy from Arizona, and Carr from up in the the bay and you're telling me stories about room service and from like, you know, we were not guys who were privy to this. You remember that first moment you were let in, you called me one night, you and the carton you were out in the haptons. And I just, there's that mind-blown part where you go to the carton.

I can't, yeah. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first time. For the first. For the first time. For the first. For the first time. For the first time. For the first. For the first time. For the first time. For the first. For the first time.'re the first time. I'm fake it like you belong, but you're thinking no, I'm sorry. I'm believe not it. I was not ever on SNL at that point. I was just hanging out with Paul McCartney for five nights with Linda. But having a famous person, the first time someone a host would come in and know you. Yeah, like because you're always as a riotier as before.

And then someone goes, oh yeah, maybe we can do something together. And I'm like, like they know something and they like you. And Carol King came to the show and said, do you want it? We should try to do something together. Oh, for okay. Carol King, just out of the blue.

Just, I don't know. That's a big part SNL is that Lauren almost as much as being funny and not being a sweat act and not laughing at your own jokes. He does not want you to be overly supplicating with people. No, you know, I mean, you remember those Monday night things. Sometimes you'd sit there with somebody really. People was your hero and you had, he didn't want you gushy about it. Did you have people, you know those Monday night things. Sometimes you'd sit there with somebody really. He was your hero and you had, he didn't want you gushy about it.

Did you have people, you know, throughout your tenure and S.L. and your career, like somebody famous that was older that gave you kudos, or came up to you to rest on, or what? Sammy Cahn, the great lyricist. He came up to you one night, said kid. Really? Yeah, Sammy Cahn.

I, you know, I was kind of with him. I, with me, I, you know, I was kind of with fly with me. I was a nerd kid and I always dug that. Well, how famous were you when you got the message? I did a roast for Friars roast and I ate it, man. I remember I went on like 15th out of 17th people. You know the fires. It was for Chevy.

Not the train wreck one later, got on the road. This is when Chevy, not the train wreck one later down the road. This is when Chevy was front running. It works better when the guy's in a power position. You know, because the jokes are kind of all so down. Yeah, Chevy later, still Chevy. I mean, Chevy's to me, hugely funny. But it wasn't quite a success story. So the jokes landed and stuck a little more.

And it's harder to watch. But I remember when I went up and I said, nice to be here in the friars. I always think of Milton Burrell. You know, Milton Burrell's dick is so big that I'd have to think he stole that too. And because he was famous, he was stealing jokes. So it's a good joke,

but I'm like, nobody knows me. He's Yoda there. And there's no, how the fuck is this kid? It's a great joke. I eat it. I remember Paul Newman's on the dance. I looked down and Paul Newman was very cool, but he has to overt my gaze because it's

so bad like what's going on. And I come off after it. I'm just this goes back to Sammy. I come off and man, I am, nobody has felt worse than a friar's roast until what he convinced Ted Denson to get out of the handsome cabin black face It knew and on 7000 and you know that I'm sure he can still think of that set up both operating in the middle of 9 gold what the fuck was I doing but Sammy Cucko is that a Samycock me Samycock he is fuck Milton burl. Yeah. I love it.

And he was so, just the fact that I was commiserating, uh, dissuaging my, my wounds with Samy Codd made me laugh. It's an amazing existence being shown. But if you get lucky, like we do, good Lord. Well, you know, I love you boys. Thanks to my dear friends. How long we've been together about 30 years? I know.

Let's say I met you and I even wanted with you, but who did you run with? You used to run in that alley. Remember as Rob was oh, I met Rob's daughter. She's a daughter who's a singer. I'm a Ali. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

She's London's child. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. As I met you and the Adam, let's say Adam. But remember, we had we had apartments on the valley somewhere. Yeah, I was on the studio city.

I had like a swinging apartment and I remember I had I bought an old front car seat for my couch and that's how that's how new goch I was. Yeah, wow. I remember buying it in an art gallery. That was my couch was an old car seat from a Dodge Valley and I thought it was cool. Remember bringing women home You see a road runner cloud What the fuck doctor theme and

We all lived out there and I would run a few sets few once and on co-order you had a huge house on sticks, you know I made me scared How's your sticks not good? Size maker was hanging off. I remember my saddest moment LA I was in that place back that it wasn't that wasn't that much but for me it was a lot of because he has stinks, not good health. It was hanging off. I remember my saddest moment, LA. I was in that place, back that it wasn't that much, but for me it was a lot of them. And I remember Phil took a step up.

I remember Phil went north of a million, not in the casino, we were all like, our mom is in the bus. It's not my honor. But I've got leaks like I got to, was nobody's building the code in LA. The rain rains once and all of a sudden, you know, it's the parting of the Red Sea.

And I order, I get these roof guys to fix it. This is my grimace moment in LA. I come home, I walk in the door, it's just pouring through the water. I go up and two guys just stoned out of the gourd, sitting in the rain on the roof with a big spliff. Look at how you're going to say, Mr. Miller or home early.

We're just going to lay down some time right? Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, it's LA. When you first get money, you don't know what the hell to do. Yeah, I know. It's fun to lay the way. Beautiful path. Beautiful.

Yeah, we're doing this in the house stuff for the second time. We do our work as impeccable in the places just the nine. I'm happy if he's spade was always so smart and then we'll wrap. I'm sorry but I don't know. When spades took that show I said he's the smartest cat because everybody takes the thing where they're the center of it. Right. And you're the first guy they take out. And you know they go, what's in the law? I go, so now I always let Spade with so fun.

Because George Seagull and Laura sent him home. She's hot off the six class. And George is just a player. They center post it and Spudley nibbling around to free Wendy Malik. And the first, she was a great, sexy, like a little labor show. And Spadely comes nibbling in. Hey, we got that photo shoot. I'm gonna cast the models and then he's like the Tasty.

It's back to the mountains with some meat and some meat that he stays out of the front. It's hard to memorize lines. Just come in and they said, if I do my own show, I'm just gonna have to get a spade guy to come in. I'll carry all the lines and then someone comes in and scores and leaves. I don't want to be that guy. Yeah, smart. Yeah, you scored in that. I got lucky and I'll stare at them. Alright, thanks Dennis.

Alright, beautiful. Thanks Dennis. Marguess. I love you too. Peace out. Hey, what's up flies? What's up, please? What's up people that listen? We want to hear from you and your dumb questions. Questions ask us anything. Anything you want. You can email us at flyin'thewallatcadens13.com. Here's a spade. Okay, I'll just introduce. This is Ryan Bach, dear David and Dana.

I'm sorry for only coming up with a spade centric question. Okay, I'm going on a personal vacation. Okay, I'll take over. I'll relax. This is the longest question. It's something I've been dying to know for over a decade. No interviewer has ever asked him to my knowledge. Can you please tell us everything about Emperors New Group experience?

Sure, that's a separate podcast. How did it come to you? How did they decide it should be a llama? Do you realize it's the by far the funniest cartoon made in the 21st century? And people quote it, adore you both. Oh, you're back in. And happy this podcast came to life. Cheers. Well, Ryan, a female Ryan. A female Ryan. Okay, switch it her name like Dana. Okay. I what? What did the llama sound like? I mean, I'm so, I'm so, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, We could go to Argentina and like go surfing, you know. Tomorrow, if you want.

It started out me, Owen, and Carla Gugino. Oh, yeah. Prince and the pauper. She was the queen. I was a prince or whatever. And she was a princess. I was gonna marry her, I guess. And Owen was a peasant.

And then we were gonna switch places. That's the sort of basic story, right? So we did that for a year and a half. And they said, back then Disney was an honor. So I didn't get that much money. They go as an honor to be in it. And then Shrek comes along and you get paid. Let's have an honor.

Yeah, let's have an honor. That was teaching. So I said, oh, I was the last of the honors. And I did it and I was so, I was doing just shoot me and I go over and do my voice at Disney and I go, this is fun, but after a year I'm over. So they would show you like stick figures in animatics and then they showed it to Michael Eisner as a story goes and I could be long, but this is what I heard. Disney guy. Yeah, he was the head of

Disney. He watches it and he doesn't love it and he says, scrap it, what else can you do? And he goes, I liked, not really spayed, but I just like the prince's attitude of being like sort of snarky, what could he do? And they go, what if he turns into a llama? And he goes, yeah, something like that. So we've already spent many minutes.

How do I get that job? It's unbelievable. And he flipped it. They came up with a new story, another year and a half, sting does the music. They throw away with a new story. Another year and a half, Sting does the music. They throw away all his old songs. He gets mad. There's a documentary about that.

Really? So this is a very interesting story. It was a real, all thing yet, Trudy did a documentary. So I finished it off. I was being crabby at the end because I didn't really know where the story was going. So we were just making up stuff. And when I saw the premiere, I never met Patrick Warburton

who was Cronk, who was great or things fun. It was, it was, it was a great, Sting's music was on really, got nominated for an Oscar. And, and then it was so funny at the premiere, I go, and my out of my mind, or is this fucking hilarious? They did a great job. And you know what the character is? I did the voice fine, but they make everything funny around you, Dana. You've done it. You did life of pets, was it? I did the secret life of pets. The first one did really well, and then the second one, not so well.

So we have a ride. Do you have a ride with your... I mean, I think there were... Universal. Yeah, there's some drawings and sketches. Oh, I'm not a whole big giant ride. But they say more people will see the ride and go on the ride than ever see any movie. I have a ride.

I'm it. It's a universal. As you come into the thing, you're going down the tunnel, you might, dogs introducing it. You're gonna love this ride. And, you know, I get a little taste of the action, you know, little checks keep coming in, but yours is good too. No, it's good.

I might go in that. You just give it a fairs wheel or something. I'll check out the secret life of Farts or whatever it's called. Anyway, we're broadcasting from David's beautiful house. So I can make fun of him. The Emperor of Zunogruv didn't pay for it. But it was, I did it. And then I was so happy I did it because I really liked it.

And I got good reviews for the only time in my life. And then it went on and on for Disney. So I love it. And I appreciate all the people that like it out there and I was lucky to be in it. If they animated our podcasts, you know, what, and you were, and you were a fly, what voice would you use for the fly? Meat, mop, mop. I just met what it does. It doesn't matter. It's just the idea of your. I'm a robot fly.

No, I played buzz and scuzz as horse flies in a show called Racing Stripes. Steve Harvey and I were flies, horse flies. I would do this voice and no one would know who it was. I would be a fly. I would be a fly talking like Kevin Graham, but no, the kids would know. It just be a very sophisticated fly.

This is how I am. Flying the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corquan of Cadence 13, All episodes.