Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Dennis Miller Energy; Big Peacocks; F Spade Money

Episode Date: July 14, 2025

Dana and David channel full Dennis Miller energy as they dive into pigeon mating habits, who’s got the best peacock, and the quest for “F Spade money”. Plus they break down bad prom entrances, and answer fan questions. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello and welcome to fly on the wall without a guess is what we call it. And our segment called standing or sitting. So, uh, we talk about news and what's going on and we don't really know anything and everyone loves to point that out. We're two idiots talking. Who cares? Good for us. So, uh, we have strong opinions.

We're passionate alpha males and we, we want to express ourselves, but we, we're not saying we're correct, but. Right. By the way, I saw, I'm watching right now. You, another rough cut of busboys. It's getting closer to being shown to people. Show it to people. We have no bosses. People don't know

this. We paid for ourselves. We're just going to show it, see if anybody wants to put out anywhere or we'll just put it out and say, press here, buy, watch. So I've only heard about Buzz Boys for quite some time. Yes. And I'm... Maybe too long. No, but I haven't seen a frame. Not nothing. Just hearing about it, like, what do you guys look like together? Where are you going?

How's it shot? I'm very, very curious. Yeah, I'll show you one quick, like one minute thing we have about it. Like not a real trailer, but something Theo shows on the road. Well. I'm excited. It's a silly comedy.

Yeah. So basically as long as a basic story tracks, but no one's going to leave it going that story tracks so well, but just enough, and then you need, I'd say in an 80 minute movie, you probably need three banger scenes. I'm serious. And then other, other little laughs, but, or at least banger scenes. I'm serious. And then other little laughs, but, or at least two big scenes. That's all you really need. Just need some memorable ones.

Remember Deuce Bigelow? Schneider, the movie that did great, was really sold off the trailer with him in Gravity Inversion boats, swinging and hitting an aquarium and ripping it down in a full stunt crash, fish and water everywhere. And it was like, I'm going to that. I think that, um, yeah, there w that you could, you know, a lot, sometimes with comedies, I think Rob cued into that. If the sound broke, like you didn't have any sound, you still would be laughing

a lot of the time, you know, funny with the sound off. I remember in the beginning, Schneider had some guy go use the restroom and he was peeing for like two minutes and it was like a fire hose and it was just Rob's reactions. So that's funny. It was just funny. Yeah, there's some stuff. So we'll see and we'll catch up more on that later. In the news, there's a big mention of this Epstein-Weill thing. Any thoughts on that? It's kind of the news of the week. I would set the table with this idea that it's not like an overriding obsession with me. It's not like an overriding obsession with me, but the secondary premise is, is anyone

anywhere in the world, someone of power or government or politician or important person, quote unquote, hiding something? Is there, because the circumstances of how he died, he attempted suicide a few days before and he doesn't make it. Then he goes back. He has a cellmate that's a, that's a murderer. Apparently the cameras either malfunction. There was a technical issue.

The two guys to watch him fell asleep or got confused. I mean, it's so much stuff where you're not even interested to go, well, what? What? Like too many things happen at once. If this is Colombo, I'm going back to the 70s, or if this is Law and Order, or whatever. Excuse me, is this your dog? Excuse me. I don't want to bother you, but I just have this wondering about why you would hang himself, you know. Paging Kevin Pollack to do that impression. Yeah. But so you know, is someone lying and just what the fuck happened?

Just tell us. Well, also you can see lists, like they take a picture on Instagram and oh, it's a list of a hundred celebrities. Everyone's like, this is the real, but I've seen ones at Drew Barrymore. I've seen one, like there's people that you go, this isn't anything. Well, it's also smart obfuscation is if you want to just exaggerate at people. And who knows if there was a list when someone told me and I'm not a conspiratorialist that commercial stories.

I had a couple of pops before the show. And they said there's this guy named Jeffrey Epstein. He's incredibly rich. No one knows how he got the money. He has a secret island or an island. He flies Bill Clinton down there 13 times and other celebrities to the island. He has young girls that are, you know,

15, 16, 17 year old girls that have sex with these famous powerful men and they're secretly recorded and then that is used as blackmail and political leverage forever. And I just go, well, that sounds like a conspiracy, a total fantasy. But then I found out there is a guy named Jeff Ramstein. He does have an island. Bill Clinton did go on the island.

There's certain things we know. So then you're like, well, what else is going on? I'm not gonna let you talk because I want the spade to be your POV. I think, A, there could be a list like this famous list. Let's say they get the real list and the flight logs. But if it's Bill Clinton or Bill Gates, I would rather see a video of them doing something wrong

because who cares? I mean, we just watched the Puffy trial. It doesn't mean anything. It's all circumstantial. Like, so there is a list. There's an island. So they knew him. Now, did they go there? Did they do anything? Is there proof they did anything? That's what people really, really want. They don't just want to say, oh, I heard this or this. They've heard that for years. And also what could be happening is now they say, he hung himself, no controversy, no list, no nothing, which also sounds weird, right?

Well, why was there $290 million payout for Morgan Stanley? It was Jeffrey Epstein's bank toward the victims. Why is his right-hand woman, if anyone had a list, and it wouldn't be a little black book. It might be digital or encoded or whatever. Why is she in jail for sex trafficking? So, and then why, what are the odds? Why don't they, with 2020, do the odds of him, the guards falling asleep, the camera's breaking. Right.

Right. When he's hanging himself. I mean, but, but then they just did a video where they sent it. This is him in jail when he hung himself and you go, I thought they broke. I didn't think the video when I was the last I saw it was just him walking through the prison, there was none of him in the, in the, in the, well, I think I saw this is a story going on this week. So a clip of a door of a jitter, like this is his, whatever.

I think one possibility, which sounds pretty farfetched, let's say that stuff is good for blackmail with some people. So in lieu of just telling everyone this guy did this, the people that have it now go to them and say, now we'll blackmail you, so we need you to do this, or we're gonna let it out. Who benefited from Jeffrey Epstein not being on the planet? I mean, this is like crime drama series we see all the time.

And then here's the other part of it, is that Pam Bionde, the press secretary, as of this taping, What is her last name? Bondi, I think. Bondi, yeah. Bondi, yes. Had come out a few weeks ago. Pam Bondi.

Yeah, Pam Bondi. That we've got all the files, we got this stuff, we're gonna be giving you a lot of information. And then all of a sudden like that, it was, no, hung himself. We don't have any evidence of any sex trafficking. There's no list. We have, there's nothing just goodbye. And even the first time they brought it up to Trump because why are we even

talking about Jeffrey Epstein? Why would we talk about that? Why are we, um, it, it just makes you go, but yeah, but answer you're, we're being told, at least as of this taping, don't ask any questions. Just shut up. Again. Yeah. I mean, it's sort of, yes, it's an old story, but it's one that you, even Trump

has to realize it's a curiosity factor for people. So you just want to put it out for good. What's the answer. And when that answer comes out, everyone kind of goes, I don't know if that's the answer. Well, get, do a show and tell press conference, have all the stuff, be humble about it. Have Pam go up there and go,

okay, this is what we thought. This is the video of me saying I've got all this stuff, but then we checked it again and cross checked it. This is exactly why the cameras didn't work. This is exactly why they didn't work while he was hanging himself. Mm-hmm. Because it just makes picture interest and it's just good for the public psyche to not feel like they're being lied to.

Yeah. By the way, were you, I mean, this doesn't even seem fair, but were you in New York when it went down with Epstein? Were you near that jail cell? Why, you think I did it? I was, well, I just, I wouldn't know how. I'm not saying, look. I was there visiting someone that day in prison,

but I did nothing wrong. Which I knew about, you texted me, I'm at the prison where Jeff, you know. I do good things, I go there and visit people and bring them lunch. Right. And also you did a pithy kind of selfie where you took a sheet and rambled it like this and went, remember that? A little video while you're in the prison. What's that? Is this where I'm faking making one? Well, you had a sheet and you rolled it in a real tight thing and it had a noose and you went like,

hey! And I'm not making you culpable. I'm just saying there are stories that need to sheet and you roll it in a real tight thing like and it had a noose and you went like hey you know and I'm not making you culpable I'm just saying there's stories that need to be explained no I'm just doing a funny selfie with that and it's not at the at the prison nothing to do with it yeah yeah now two things do not those don't add up uh but we'll get into other stories now but that was a story this week and then there was ady trial, which I don't think is over yet as of this press time. It's just that he hasn't been sentenced, right? It seems like, yeah, they're going to let him out after he sends, you know, the judge did express worry that he would revert back and go after some of the people. I'm worried. I'm worried.

But basically, the sex trafficking or the racketeering, like so they're saying he didn't do it for the money. The two biggest things got dismissed and then it was transporting prostitution. And I don't know that could carry 10 years, but I don't know. But basically, basically he got off. Basically, I feel like he's in better place than he was. Like he probably will get reduced sentence. Has he been in jail this whole time? Maybe they'll give him time.

Yeah, he's been in there like nine months. Now let me ask you a question. Is there a chance that he's headlining Vegas in six months or he's just back. Does it hit someone? If he's out and they just say, okay, we're on probation. I definitely think he's back in biz. I think he has fans that will fully back him, fully go see him.

I don't know if he's really even a singer or a rapper. I don't even know really what he, no one really knows what he does exactly. Robert Smigel did a cartoon on SNL and the entire notion of the cartoon, I might've mentioned this before, it was what does P did he do? I guess he's a producer, you know, of rap. Yeah, which means whatever. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, producer. I like that. But anyway- He's sort of piggybacked on Biggie. I mean, I don't know anything. I can't talk. I don't know anything.

But you know, as just an objective viewer or listener, I really know even less. All right, let's get into the hard news. This is very hard news. I'll just say that one last Pete Diddy drop. It's unsavory. It's an unsavory story. Yeah, it's a little rough.

Yeah, it's like. Okay, now you were asking me early what pigeons look like when they puff out their chest to impress females and I finally found some video. Okay. Wicky, wicky, wicky, wicky, wicky, wicky, wicky, wicky, That impresses girls. Wicky, wicky, wicky, wicky, wicky, wicky, wicky, wicky,

I don't wanna fall in love, I just wanna kick it. Stupid song. Song helps it. That's a pigeon. I've never seen pigeons do that to impress me. I've seen a lot of pigeons in the park in New York and whatever. I've never seen anything close to that.

So- I mean, are they all married or why? No one's trying to impress another girl pigeon. Like, why are they, they're walking through it. Is there a chance that's AI? I don't, well, there's a chance that everything is, yeah. Doesn't it make you kind of- Why make that? Feel sorry when you watch these nature shows and

the male component of a sea bug or whatever blows up some freaky thing or changes its feathers to dark purple or whatever, it just sort of like these poor horny freaks of nature blowing up and looking like alien, double, triple aliens. The birds are like, they puff their chest and go, the other female bird goes, I've seen this a million times or they go, they're doing like little dances. When a bird catch like, you know, 50 worms, put them in their mouth and spit them out like a machine gun. I can get...

If they had a worm, Joey Chestnut, and it said, how many worms can you eat? And the other birds would get... That would be kind of interesting. What if a frog to impress another frog, because we had a bullfrog up here in the middle of the night on the pond. But if things like, what if a frog in a bio-evolutionary way to impress would jump up a thousand feet in the air and then kind of fly down?

What do you think of that? Do you have a frog voice? She goes, oh my God, I was on my phone. Go ahead. He's like, I'm not doing that again. I just jumped 1000 feet and then flew down. They make themselves kind of fat like that again. I mean, the classic is the peacock. It's like,

what's up? You have a peacock. That's pretty good. They kind of go. They put that shit out there. I think it was Johnny Carson was actually he was he was golfing. He saw a peacock and that's before NBC started. Was there like 1952? It goes, I'm going to, I'm going to create a network and I'm going to have the NBC that be peacock network. Someone had to say that. It might've been him.

Someone had to do that, but it is kind of weird. And I do think even now, it's kind of unfortunate that NBC's live streaming is Peacock, because it ends with the word cock. It doesn't sound inviting, Peacock. It's right now streaming on Peacock. Don't you find it's not a great name? Yeah, because also, you know, it's a comedy word because you know, the K sound people say is good in comedy.

Like I'm over here washing my peacock. Exactly. That's a dentist kind of thing. Okay. Let's see what we have here in the peacock reverence territory. Spade made a million bucks, ran out and bought himself a peacock.

And that's what I need more of in my life. Okay. Swordfish with a little teriyaki sauce and a live peacock and some sort of corral on my ranch. Got a fucking peacock under glass. What was the question? I don't even know. Dana, we're going to step into the batter's box for bet MGM

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We're World Cup winners, Olympians, and the hosts of the Recap Show. Every week we sit down with the icons, disruptors, and game changers on the field and beyond it to talk victories, heartbreaks, and everything in between. We've built a space where athletes, change makers, and people creating the future of women's sports can show up and show off as their full unapologetic selves. Follow and listen to The Recap Show wherever you get your podcasts.

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Terms and conditions apply. Visit bmo.com slash the iPorter to learn more. Okay, we'll go to the next one. Next one, this is so interesting. Crowd is on the edge of their seat. Yes. The most dangerous person in tech is an E-liner. Altman, oh is that Sam Altman?

Elon. It's 28 year old, oh he built the training system for OpenAI and Zuckerberg gave him 15 billion for it. Yeah. I mean, I think the only question people have is, is he right or left? Because if he gets to steer how people think, very powerful position. You're right. Is it just science or, you know, it can be used for good or evil. We've seen it in science fiction films and now, now we're kind of living it. The idea that a 28 year old gets handed 15 billion to make AI that'll take us over. 15 billion.

That's 18 zeros back. Back to Dennis. 15 billion for about six days of work. Okay, that's a toddler character there. He's not gonna have to be a chest slumper with the ladies, all right? You know how many peacocks you could get? Okay, he said all he did was hire sweatshop workers

to procure data sets on the internet. I don't know if that's all he did. He said that about himself? No, this is a comment on the side. I don't know if that's all he did. I mean, he said that about himself. No, this is this comment on the side. Oh, people who kind of know. Comments are always funny. Because although, oh, he's brilliant, but he lacks wisdom. Heavy comment. Heavy. Well, again, if you want to be in the room with it's Zuckerberg hired him or who paid him. with, it's Zuckerberg hired him or who paid him? Yeah, Zuckerberg bought it. So the other guy, we got a guy who's really good.

He's 15 billion. All right. Okay, I got a guy who's really, really good as well. He'll do it for 10 billion. I got three guys that'll do it for 2 billion each. So how do they arrive at 15 billion? Did you tell me you couldn't for 14 billion, supplant him?

He's that valuable? No, it's not just the guy. He's bringing his shit with him. Oh, his whole giant. How about he goes, no, I still own it, but I'll come up with new shit for you. And they're like, no, no, no, we want this thing. Oh, he owns it, okay.

Yeah, he owns it. It's like he owns. Forget everything I just said. Trademarker, he owns the guts of it. So, I guess, listen, I remember when they bought, the first time I was hearing billion, people are too young. Everything was millions. Government, we gave 10 million to this place. We gave a hundred million, which was like the highest. When it hit billion, I think during the last four or five years, it turns in a billion. Then I heard 20 billion. They were giving a hundred billion. I'm like, you can't compute these numbers at all.

Everyone, it's just nothing. It's so high. It's unbelievable. So everyone over pays. Instagram, I think they were bought it for a billion. And I thought that's insane for this stupid shit. And then it's obviously worth a lot. And then Snapchat, I think the guy wouldn't take two or three billion from Google. And I was like, well, dude, is anyone going to get mad that you took three billion, you

got ripped off? Let's say it goes to a hundred billion. You still have three billion. You're not going through it all. I mean, God damn, get the stress off. Sell it. It's a heartbreaking thing when startups get lucky and they have this, they don't make much money, but they're valued so much higher and someone wants to buy them.

And if it works out when you say no, but if it doesn't work out, you're like, how in the fire did I say, take your three billion, take your fucking three billion and shove it up your ass. Yeah. It's like teams that overpay for a player and they bomb and they have like a nine year deal with them. They're like, oh my God. Oh, I love the NBA. What's his stats?

He gets six points a game, two rebounds and one steal. What's his yearly income? 71 million. You know, oh yeah. I want the talent to get paid. I want the talent to get paid. Your boy Kevin Love gave me a shout out yesterday. Really?

Do you know who that is? Of course. Great, great forward, who famously came out about just mental health issues, kind of helped a lot of people in the league. Kevin Love. He just got traded, I guess, yesterday. Where's he going?

To a different team. To a different team. All right. All right. Was he in Miami? Heather, look it up. Kevin Love. Heather just shrugs her shoulders. I go, no, look it up. She goes, I don't fucking know. I go, I know, but. Heather can look things up. I mean, she can look it up and she's going to say, I think it's a Miami Heat going to somewhere. She can look it up and she's going to say, I think it's a Miami Heat going to somewhere. Utah Jazz acquired Kevin Love and Kylie Anderson in three-term team trade. Utah Jazz took them. So I don't think he was expecting it because he posted a Joe Dirt clip saying,

what's it like to get traded? And it was Kid Rock going, nobody wants you here. You crying, boy? Nobody wants you here at all, get out of here. Hilarious. Trading's heartbreaking. I mean, there was just recently a seven team deal where I'll take this, you take this guy,

then you take this guy, the Warriors were in it, Houston and he'll go over here. Yeah, seven teams. So complicated. I know, I can't keep track of it. I don't understand all their deals like, free agent, restricted free. I don't really understand how it all works. Do I care? Sort of. Not enough to walk into it.

It's fun for you. You're more into b-ball that you go, they should get this guy, if they lose this guy, but this guy's good. You know, they finally make money and then they get too expensive for someone. Yeah, it's a real, it's a guts move to turn down things and how you navigate your career and you ideally want to get F you money initially, and then you can take more chances with that, you know? I mean, there were, there are players in any professional sports who just, just saved every penny when they were playing.

Um, Dana wants F S money. Fuck Spade. Let's take all his money. Dana's got lots of money. No one's worried about Dana. Okay, let me just make this comment. Okay, please. That's not true. But if you are someone who's living in a nice,

small house, really humble, have a humble car, whatever, and you have enough money coming in where you do what you wanna do when you wanna do it. If you wanna work full time or you don't want, you are by lifestyle, lifestyle is a millionaire lifestyle when you don't have to think about money. And a lot of that's just the expense.

Yeah. I like to give wisdom. What was the question? It was Jeffrey Epstein. Did he hang himself? No, that was so minutes ago. Puffy's hosting this week. I'm really enjoying the podcast.

I thought the 11 minutes on the peacock was a really seminal moment. I thought Epstein into peacock was brilliant. We have Puffy. He's also the musical guest. That will mean he's fully back. I'm P Diddy. I ain't going anywhere. I'm back in the city. I got the Diddy. I ain't going anywhere. I'm back in the city.

I got the bad oil. I know how to toil. I one time worked the soil. Everybody find some oil. I BF'd olive oil. While Papa was watching. My name's not guilty. I know people think I'm filthy, but I want to tell you the

whole story. If the I pass a wall to Bippy. God damn. I know I ran out of steam. This is our third podcast today. And here's. Yeah. Okay, we'll go to the next story.

We really are racking them up. Rack them. I love this podcast so far. Okay, this might be to the next story. We really are racking them up. Rack them. I love this podcast so far. Okay, this might be real right now. A lot of girls have podcasts, a lot of women, and a lot of them, I'm figuring out, mostly OnlyFans girls, it seems like, if you see it's something like this,

it might be a fake podcast, because no one actually looks at the real ones. It's a good way to get clips on. You really just film clips. So it's a woman in a baguette suit on a couch. So she's talking to the girl, but there's no real podcast, but it looks like one. They're just doing clips anyway. Oh, I see. Just clips as if it wasn't a podcast.

So you're just basically filming clips. There's no real... All right, let's see it. There or there. How much did you pay in taxes this year? I didn't pay taxes. I've never paid taxes in my life. You never paid taxes? No. Okay, well, so I haven't either. I don't know. I really don't know even what taxes means. Me either. And I just like have money and- This is kind of where I'm at. I really don't know. What do you even do? How do you go from that? How do you pay? You need an extension.

Is there like taxes.com? Did she say extension? That's smart. That's one. I don't know. It's different for every state. Like why does some states have to pay more taxes than other states? I don't understand. They'll never will.

That's true. That's why we're women. Okay. Yeah. I'm a woman. That's fine. Someone explain. Okay.

A deep conversation. I do think there's, I think maybe in that world, a lot either forget or aren't advised to pay taxes. These people you hear making so much money in that OnlyFans world, I don't know. I mean, if you don't, you're gonna get a rude awakening. Maybe, I don't wanna pay taxes anymore with how things are going. Wesley Snipes, right? I mean, they gave him bad advice and he went to prison.

Right. That's that that's what's supposed to happen. I think what's happening more is no one wants to pay taxes because when you realize they miss they're missing $20 billion in California, you go, why is that's my money I'm paying? And then it goes away and you go, sorry, we lost 20, but we need more. So we're going to up the tax. I'm like, I don't want to pay anymore.

How about just figure out a new way because just keep telling us to give you money. That you lose. You lose it. Why is there not online? A very clear, easy third grader could do it, of listing of where California, let's just say California, tax dollars. Specifically, where is it going to this education system, to this charity, public, private.

And follow it, make sure someone's using it for the right, not just kicking it to their cousins and uncles, and, or just, I don't know, it's so fucking complicated. I know. And even if you talk to tax experts, you can say to them, I don't know, is that a write-off? And they go, I don't know. Nobody really knows.

It could be. Maybe we'll write off part of it. I think the frustrating thing for me is if I don't pay tax or something, they're on my ass within days. Like you didn't pay, you didn't pay exactly perfectly. You owe more, you're fined, you're late. But when they take your money

and they blow it down the fucking shitter, they just shrug their shoulders and go, yeah, I don't know, give us more. And you better do it fast. I'm like, get fucked. It's getting annoying, dude. It's getting bad. Give me one non bumpy street

that doesn't rip up my oil pan. I'll be all right. My neck and my oil. That's all I'm looking for. Yeah. Let's, let's have some, let's have some pre-burns. Let's have some fire. Let's add some fire management.

Let's, let's have, let's have our gas prices where people, poor people can afford it. Um, sure. You know, let's, uh, let, let's have really, I know these are hot takes and let's have really safe neighborhoods. Let's have just all over the state. You can put some people in jail again. If you, if, if you're a criminal and do something wrong, maybe there's a punishment. I mean, don't make it too far.

You're telling it. That is going too far. I swear it's a new world where, you know, the criminal's the victim. And that's just a tough new world I'm not quite wrapping my head around yet. Um, it's hard for me to comprehend it, but you know what? I think in California, a lot of people, once it's in your, up in your face, then they're sort of like, you know, w w w w what, you know, this, we should not make it the new normal. When you're in a safe neighborhood and you feel safe at night, it shouldn't be

like, well, this actually feels good. You know, you shouldn't have to be like, um, I know someone who was out in a town, uh, sort of outside in the Valley toward, toward Palm Springs. And then at six o'clock they're at this party and they said, you guys got to get out of here. They go, why? Well, the gangs will start to filter. It's six o'clock. You got to drive out of here now. Don't wait. So. Jesus. I'm at a store right where I go to the bottom of the street, walk out from some dudes chewing on a fucking extension cord.

He's got a blackjack in his hand. What am I, Glico? No, it's just nerve wracking. There's a lot of nerve wracking stuff anywhere. I mean, there's almost no neighborhoods where you go, this is totally fine. I'm at a 76er down in Hollywood and trying to get some petrol. Okay. First of all, it's $19 a gallon.

All of a sudden I see Skippy, the homeless guy, he's got his pants around his ankle, his unit in his hand. He's chugging a half pint of Winski and goes, have you got a dollar? Okay. And that was the best part of the day down there, all right? I remember the one time when a guy came out of CVS, he goes, David Spade. I go, hey man, he goes, David Spade.

He followed me for three blocks and he goes, give me some money. And it turns into like a casual robbery because I go, all right. And I go, there man, he goes, David's fitty following me for three blocks. And he goes, give me some money. And it turns into like a casual robbery. Cause I go, all right. And I go, there's 10 bucks. He goes, I know you got more than that. I was like, and then he goes, I opened my wallet and he goes, give me that hundred. And I go, well, a hundred feels like a little Indies goes pluck. And I go, all right, can I leave the crime now?

Am I dismissed? That's a pretty watch. You give him a watch. Yeah, give me that watch. Yeah. Then give me that jacket. Where does this end? Then he goes, you always wear blue on that podcast.

I go, oh, you have a laptop? He's like, you and Dana kind of complain about the stuff maybe too much. I go, all right, well, that's not what we're here to talk about. I just really don't know why Tom Segura would hassle you like that. He could be a perfect homeless guy. I'm just shocked that Tom. Cricer too. Yeah, Cricer.

Okay, let's go to the next. What's this? Oh, Cricer. Okay, let's go to the next. What's this? Oh, this is funny. Models doing dumb things just never gets old to me. Okay. The new, you know, they always do a modeling thing and they don't know where to put it. This one there.

Oh, I don't know if you can see it. They're in water. Okay, models in water. Models looking stupid in water. Dirt. Okay, we can drop the opera. That guy's hair looks like shit. Look at that Marilyn Manson.

You know, it looks ridiculous, but we're looking at it. That's all I can say. Yeah, a little knight of the living dead for me. But look at this outfit right here. High collar. You guys got some quads. High collar. Leather.

You're not supposed to get it wet. I heard. This is the episode of Dennis. Yeah, Christ's sake. I know it is funny. That's what I need when I'm looking for a Vente jacket is some kind of zombie water motif coming at me. All right.

I don't want to buy a Versace jacket for 22 grand. I find a large mouthed Lunker bass in the pocket. That was a good one. Yeah. What's next? They get sucked down the drain and you do a raffle to see which one's still alive. I mean, again, a goldfish in my chonies. All right. That's funny enough.

We got to do something where we're just sitting in ice baths or something during the podcast. Oh, these are big prom entrances. I got to have to ask Harper about this one. Is this a good one? Heather, what do you think? Queen song. Great Queen song outhouse, great queen song, whether I look at a lot the heck that I just want to hit, I don't like this long wind up to what we all know is about to happen. I don't know what's going to happen. Oh,

OK, here's my little princess. So she she sat in there for like 40 minutes. Yeah, she took a dump. Okay. Yeah. Oh, this isn't even Queen. Wexploo! Who is it? No one's impressed.

Yeah. It says no one's impressed. Oh, yeah. Everyone just staring off like this going, she's like, sorry. It was taco Tuesday. Is that the dad's idea? You think it's not a great idea? Daddy, I just want my prom because I get so nervous.

Could you have an outhouse nearby so I could go in it and then come out and un-Bridge it and Susie could take pictures of me coming out of the outhouse. Daddy? Daddy? You ready in there? Yep. Sometimes you see people, they put a little English on it at the end, they go... Put a little English on it. the end they go. Pfft.

Put a little English on it. Has to come to this. It has. It has to come to this. We're not out of material. This is quality. I'm not saying this is the bottom. This is good. I'm not apologizing.

I don't apologize. Not for this, not for this. No, we don't go scatter out very much. Pfft. So funny. Okay, next one. What people like, don't be political and don't be dirty and don't be scat-a-logical. What else? That's you farting and changing ears.

I was trying to top yours. Here is race car farting. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. walk, step on him. Okay. Is he an artist? I don't know. I see. Performance art. Look at that. He's rolled up in a carpet on the sidewalk. I would do this for fun, but I don't like it. Here comes some more. Should we walk on his wiener? some more. Should we walk on his wiener? I would get the boxer butter bean. Look him up. I'd get butter bean. Oh, she went for it. Yeah. Okay. Kind of reflecting on what I just did, it seems like I might've indirectly pleasured someone from my walking. It sounds like I'm doing God's work, but that was also a hazard and borderline illegal.

So do not get rid of them. That was a little off putting. It was wrapping a guy wrapping his own car. I think I gave pleasure to a guy with no foot. We don't need him. We need the other part. The guy wrapped in the carpet wanting to get stepped on. I say good for him, man. It's kind of funny that if that's your thing, he sort of goes, I'm

just not going to be ashamed. Do you want to hear a real story? Yeah, sure. And I don't know if I told you this one, but it'll seem too fantastical. It relates to this on some level. I hope it's you wrapped in carpet. My brother, Mark Carvey, who was living in New York in the 70s. He was an artist and a painter.

He's still around, but he had a career and whatever. So he's in New York and he's going to an exhibit. And you know, art got a little funny in the seventies. It's still very exotic. So he goes in and they tell him that the artist has built a false floor under the floor. So when you go in to look at the artist's paintings, he wants you to know that he will be under the floor that he's built and he will be masturbating. Now this is directly God's honest truth.

So there's no joke, but it's not Picasso. That was okay. Going for the old false floor, jack off thing under the under the van. Go. OK, so that's you know, that's like performance art. The guy in the carpet, you know, probably they film it and they put it in a museum. And then it's probably clear. So you can you go, hey, is that Van Bloo down there? Yeah, that's see.

Is that Leonardo de Jack? Okay. Is that Peter Beard jerking the gherkin? Another Edward hop around down there on your Johnson. Okay. This is Jackson Pollock wrestling the bald headed champ. Jackson Peacock down there below. Yeah, Peacock's are below the ball soulwood.

But anyway, art got funny. No rules in art. I will give you that. My brother Andy's in art. He's got all these cool things, but it always makes me laugh. He's got very interesting things, but it's good because you can really think out of the box.

If you like it, you like it, but sometimes I will go in and I love going to art museums, love art. But I saw one once and it was 40 feet wide and 20 feet high. It was all white, covered the whole wall. And it just had one red dot in the middle of the painting. And I'm like, heavy, man, heavy. It's kind of like if you think you could do it, then you lose respect. You know, if you see a van Gogh, by the way, you go, holy shit.

Yeah. The good ones are good. I don't agree with all of them. I told you this. It's your wrinkles. Let's see one more and then we'll get out of here. We get really spoiled. Everyone.

Oh, no, this is funny. I had a deadbeat dad growing up. I spoiled everyone. Oh, no, this is funny. I had a deadbeat dad growing up. Oh, these people hire this guy. Okay, well, okay. Bomb. Here we go. Debbie dad gets tackled These moms tell this guy and they email him and he just

Who's taking the video Does he think is partner? committing a crime Put that guy in the garbage. Uh oh, this guy's gonna fall hard. Is that Norbit? Well, that is a big guy getting a big guy. And this guy's like later. Whoa.

I don't promote violence, but you know. So their dads are not only absentee. Whoa. They don't send a check. They're on the Funyuns Isle. All right, that's good. Don't check. They're on the Funyuns Isle. All right, that's good. Don't do it in front of the kid, though.

They don't. Deadbeat Dad, the qualification is you're absentee and you don't send money. That's completely okay. Yeah. So the moms get frustrated. There's no money. They see them clicking their heels. They have no repercussions. They have no recourse. And they hire this guy to not kill them.

Just kind of harm them though. Just go attack them and say, dude. Pretty tough tackle. Go take, go get back on your responsibilities kind of. Well, I knew a mom. Finally, I missed that. I didn't know where to use it. I've been sitting here with my hand on the trigger. I know a mom that's so happy about her husband

that she hires beautiful models to go find their husband and just make out with him. So that's the flip side of what we just saw. Oh, to get, oh, to give him a reward. Oh, I thought it was to catch him cheating. No, no. Some girls will send in a decoy to say, see if my husband will cheat, try to DM him, you know, that kind of thing. Yeah. Well, deadbeat dads, it's a good, it's a good phrase. Do they have a dad for a phrase for a non-deadbeat dad?

Just dad. Just dad. Just divorced dad. Now my dad didn't pay the whole run since I was four. So we were four, six and eight, not a penny. Not an alimony, not a child support. And he lived about a mile away. And he'd be clicking his heels. So I see the frustration.

Yeah, it's just, you know, and then the son, you, becomes very successful, has a couple shackles in his pocket. And then suddenly daddy's around. Yeah, 100%. Okay, we'll end on that. And no, we'll say, oh, anyway, so my dad never paid. But then I got on Sine Live. Why do I keep forgetting to buy some of those? You got to buy something stupid.

I have to do them as soon as we end this podcast or else I'll forget and I want to shock you because maybe I'll buy one for you and we'll send it to you and you just open it. Start it on camera and then I'll be delighted. MSNBC films presents season two of the hit series from NBC News Studios. Leguizamo does America hosted by John Leguizamo. We're going to connect with some Latinos eat some food and do a little dancing. Join him for six new episodes as he explores the Latino experience in six more iconic American cities.

I'm here to meet with some exceptional Latin people leading the way. So come on, let's go. Leguizamo Does America. All new episodes Sunday at 9 p.m. Eastern on MSNBC. Breaking news, McDonald's international menu items are vanishing. McPizza bites missing in Italy. Big Rosti stolen from Germany. Teriyaki chicken sandwich disappears in Japan. And a Biscoff McFlurry blackout in Belgium. Uh oh, it's just in.

We can now confirm the stolen favorites have resurfaced at McDonald's Canada. The international menu heist. Try them all while you can for a limited time in participating McDonald's in Canada. We got two written question guys, but you can do audio questions too. You can send it to... Fly on the wall at Odyssey.com. And you also can do it in audio. You can do it with a little video or you can write the question.

So we got a couple right now. Yeah. Okay. Let's say we're going to try it. Ready? Here we go. Is it written? I think it's written.

This is the first one from Molly. This is Molly from Cincinnati. Quick story. I watched David's most recent Netflix special on a flight to Texas. I was giggling the whole time. At the end of the flight, my seatmate on the plane said, I have to ask, what were you watching? That was so funny.

Question, what goes into each of your hair routines? They looks highly stylized and elaborate. That's the question from the special. The special was good. I had a good little lumberjack shirt on. Um, I switch it to my shirt. No, the hair is saying, uh, it's really my hair story. Let's see.

Is that you call your routine? No, we call it something else. When I get up and do my hair, the first three and a half hours of my day, it's going like this. Hey! So what it is, is they blow dry it straight because my hair gets very wavy. That's really the part I hate. So, and I hate getting it worked on or touched, so I keep it for a couple days. But they did it that night in the special, because you have to.

And then I didn't know what I was going to wear, I had a coat or a shirt, and five minutes before they go, you got to pick one, and I said, I'll put the Koto over the shirt, I changed it. And the rest is history. But I appreciate people watching. Why does that happen to us? Why do we wait to what we're going to wear in a special? It's crazy, because you don't want to think, you want to look sort of different.

Like Lauren, you say, let them know you're a star. That's what he would always tell me, dress like a star and separate yourself. But when you do a show, Eddie Murphy in the red leather was like, oh, this is what you do. Really dress up. But I kind of am not like that. It's not my vibe. So I want to wear something a little more normal.

Didn't want to go total t-shirt. I think it's a new, new thing of authenticity. I think Shane Gillis come out in a t-shirt or like, uh, people coming on, like they're just, just something they just picked up off the floor, you know? And that's kind of cool too. You know, you were just sort of casual. It looked like something you would wear. The flannel shirt, a that's kind of cool too. You know, you were just sort of casual, looked like something you would wear. Maybe a flannel shirt, a coat. I liked it. It was fine, but I appreciate

them watching and I'm glad they giggled. Yeah. Okay, thanks. One more question until next time. All right, this is from Hayden. I'm an actress a year and a half out of college looking for theater work. I've been turned down at every audition I've gone to so far. Can you give me any audition advice for someone just starting out in the industry? I wonder if she got turned down or she didn't get a callback or something. She never even auditioned.

What does that sound like, Dana? Well, it sounds like she auditioned and got turned down. Oh, I see, okay. I mean... Without seeing it, I mean, it's the easiest business to get discouraged in. So she's not crazy. Uh, it does take a while to get things going and know it well. There's a book called Audition that might help. They gave me that when I was, it's really, uh, it's almost a different muscle auditioning

than being in something. So you have to sort of study that. And they can tell if you're new, the way you hold your papers, the way you walk in, or when you start talking. Some people come in and just go, we going? Let's go. And you go, oh, they've done this before.

But you know, Dana, me and you going, we go, hello, my baby. We try to bullshit around. Well, it's like trying, me and you going, we go, hello, my baby. We try to bullshit around. Well, it's like trying to try not to try it. You know, first of all, OK, three things. It's an emotionally violent career. So get used to losing and embrace it. Like I probably went over 100 for auditions in the 80s before SNL,

maybe even more. And so you just collect them. First of all, it's never personal. It's usually a little bit of luck. The things that I got, I got right away because they just thought I was the right type. So never take it personal. I used to think that Marlon Brando

had just read before me. I was so intimidated, you know. Don't take it too seriously. Collect defeats. And the only thing you control in your entire career is just try to get better, whether it's an acting workshop or whatever. The rest is just, there's a lot of timing and luck to it. That's just the way it is. I'm saying both.

I missed, I've got a commercial agent. You're perfect for commercials, quote. Two solid years, at least two a week. One in the valley in a suit, one down Manhattan Beach an hour away with shorts, and never got one, two straight ears. So it's almost impossible with those odds, but I didn't get anything.

So. And then for police academy, someone saw you doing stand up, you look like the character that you did. And I looked, I could play under eight, or whatever, under 18, and I could skateboard. Skateboard, so I got, you know, I had a small deal at NBC, uh, and the head of the network, they were doing the Mickey Rooney show and they needed someone to be his grandson. And I looked kind of like him,

but I was 40 years younger and the head of the network, Fred Silverman goes, that's Mickey Rooney's grandson. He saw two seconds of a video of me. I didn't even audition. And then other times I audition and I didn't get it. So it's very normal. Just, just know that it just try to work on getting better and your time will come. And hang in there. If you really like it, you're going to do it forever. So just hang in there.

You'll get work if you, if you stick to it. Yeah. Thanks guys. Thanks for the questions. Any final words for everybody? Um, the only thing is on next Superfly. I want you to guess what's in there. It's going to be something sort of positive.

Not the last time it was a Rovastatin pill. That wasn't exciting. It could be. A rotting tooth, it could be anything, we don't know. Yeah, that's the thing. It's the mystery bag. Everyone's freaking out. Okay, we'll see in the comments on YouTube,

see if people got this far. So I can't wait to read comments. Can't fucking work. I'm gonna sit down for a big evening of comments. I get a cigar and some dinty mortar beef stew. Dinty more. That was a good pull right there. Got it in my doomsday shelter.

Jesus. All right, we did Dennis Miller. We did a good today. It was just kind of an homage to our friend Dennis Miller today. Just for some reason, the comedy, all improvised, no script, I know it seems amazing. Dennis was a very expressive

vessel for what we're doing today. All right. Thanks for coming on my show, Dan. I appreciate it. Thank you for having me, Dan. Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app. Give us us review five star rating Maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend if you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe We're on video now fly on the wall is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by Danny Harvey and David Spade Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman

Maddie sprung Kaiser and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey our senior producer is Greg Holtzman and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweetek. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us at flyonthewallatodyssey.com. That's A-U-D-A-C-Y dot com.