Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Dennis Miller pt 2

Episode Date: January 22, 2025

Catching up with Dennis Miller. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I went down the memory lane on an Airbnb I occupied once and it was, I'll just say it, awesome. It's clean, it was tidy, it was beautiful, it was private, great big kitchen, right next to a forest. What's not to like? David? You checked that box saying I'd like to be near a forest. That's a good thing.

A lot of people like Airbnb because you can do that. You can say, hey, I want a place with a pickleball court, you know, and they can find you on. You can be in town, you can be in the suburbs, you can be in the country. I mean, you can have a pool, you can not have a pool. I mean, the benefits of Airbnb are just the flexibility of it and the locations and privacy,

compared to hotels. Listen, hotels are fine and that's great, but sometimes I think if you get into an Airbnb and you see the convenience and all the things, you don't have to walk by people in the hallway and nod, get on the elevator and talk about the weather. So you realize that it might really be more tailored for you and it turns into the perfect accommodation.

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and you guys are great friends, and we're all- Me go back to the very beginning. I remember playing at comedy club with Dennis Miller in 1981, the Comedy Magic Club. When I first got to know him, he goes, he says, I got no gigs, Carfee, got no gigs. No gig. By the way, he's probably the second most person you do on the show.

Who's number one? Is it Trump or Biden or what? I would say, Lauren, because, you know, but Dennis is a close second. And it's fun to try to process the way his mind thinks. When you think of a thing, it'd be like Carvey and Spindley doing the classic intro, a little long on the keep cup, you know what I mean? But his mind, well anyway, you'll enjoy this because a couple of years have gone by, so

there's just a lot of stuff to talk about. And his mind is razor sharp and really fun to listen to. Sharp, we cover a lot of basses and we mostly just crack up. Yeah, we mostly just crack up. So you'll just watch me and Dana basically just listen to Dennis crack up. And I will say the one and only, I mean, he has a singular voice in stand up, which is amazing. The one and only Dennis Miller.

Hey, David, what's that? Enter the Dragon Skateboard. What are you fucking 60? You're 60 years old now. Dennis, I'm a skater at heart. Let me get a hat on. I look like a man. No way.

We're not even showing this part, boss, but you look good. You look good though. What do you mean? My hair looks all fucked up. It's up to you, but yeah, this is just audio. So Spudly, I'll start you off by putting you on comfortable home ground. As the great Jim Kelly said, ghettos are the same all over the world. And then he flipped an Ollie.

Okay, let's go. What, Jim Kelly the quarterback? I'm sorry, who is that? There was a guy in Enter the Dragon, and at the beginning he's riding a junk, and he looks around and he goes, ghettos are the same all over the world. That's fantastic.

And then an Ollie is a skateboard trick, Dana, wake up. I know, I am waking up, are you kidding? All right, boys, let's rock this. Who played the bad guy? What actor played the bad guy in Enter the Dragon? I don't know. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. No, that was it.

No, it was John somebody. He had a kind of a comb over a good actor anyway. It was I remember Joseph Weissman played Dr. No, who was the and he was in Detective Story with Kirk Douglas. And I think they patterned hung after him. Anyway, let's let's go on. No, this is what we're doing. This is great.

This is the beef of. Yeah, this is a plus podcasting so far. I audition for Dr. Yes. And my whole part got cut out. Spade. Your hair looks good, man. What do you do?

Looks good today. Why are we on fucking camera? And she's got volume. He's got lift. He's got something going on. Jesus. I'm sitting over. I look like, uh, okay.

Here it goes. Everybody else looks good. I was the first one in on plugs and they're not working for me. Okay. We're gonna, we're gonna, we'll do a whole thing. You know, we just had Joel McHale on and his hair looks great. And he fully admits he's got more plugs in the last two minutes of Carson.

Yeah. Jesus. It's your joke. That's a dentist joke, a classic. How many times do I do dentist jokes? Are we on the air by the way? Should I? Yeah, yeah.

Okay. So I was on The Tonight Show one night after I got my plugs. I was talking to Jay and we had a fallow moment as it were because they had nothing to plug. So ironically, I said, Hey, Jay, I just got hair plugs. He's nice and hair looks great. And I said, No, I'm telling you, I got hair plugs and I'm healed up now and I want to show them off. So I went up to the camera, the number one camera, and put my head down. I said, I've got around 5,200 plugs here. And came back and Jay said, you're not kidding.

I said, no, no. And the next day I got calls from some of the most famous craniums in the world asking me where I won't betray their trust, even though some of them have passed on now, but say, where did you get your plugs? They said that they have a back door. I said, yeah, but why use a back door? Just go get hair plugs if you need hair plugs.

The guy, my doctor eventually called me when I needed some more and he said, you're comped, don't pull coin in my town. I've gotten so many, you know, recommendation heads off you. You reorientated the skulls of several hundred men in Southern California. And that is a, if you have your legacy as one of the all time great comedians,

but this legacy we've heard about today, helping people with their appearance, their self-esteem. I'm calling myself happy, and I'm glad this was aired. Like anything like plastic surgery or something, you notice the bad ones, but there's so many people that have different things they've done that you just would never know. And I just go, that guy looks pretty good.

Yeah, Ellen Burstyn always looked great. I consider myself now in retirement, I consider myself a, not a life coach, but rather a life assistant coach. Where I don't have anything, I don't speak to the press on a daily basis. I have nothing to do with the overall organization, but I consider myself the strength coach for-

I hired a life assistant coach, a little cheaper. I just stole your joke, switched it into my account. Remember we used to call that bit surfing where somebody jumped on a bit. I had that song on my show where he goes, two tags on every bit. Yeah. Oh, they're waxing up a premise and taking them on down to the beach, bit surfing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That happens. If comedians are together, I think the rule is, the on-ramp rule, like if you start a bit, just you're talking and people kind of tag it just in conversation. I think if you tag someone, if I tag someone they're talking and they say, oh, I might use that. I say, go ahead. It's you started the premise.

I'll throw you whatever I can shovel on this fire and take it, right? Yeah, Jimmy Valily, it was like the Red Adair. He would air drop in on any main premise and just start tagging it like Floyd May when they're in this feedback. Did Red Adair help cap the oil rigs that were on fire in like Iran or something? Well, he would do that thing that Duke Wayne did in the Hellfire or Hellfighters movie where

if you knock the feed of the air out for just a millisecond, the whole thing stops. So you have to get up close, dynamite it, stand behind something and have the dynamite suck the air out for a second. And then that puts the fire out in an oddly ironic way. And you have to remember the dynamite was invented by Alfred Nobel, the Nobel Peace Prize, because his original invention had croaked so many people that he karmically worried whether he would ever get into heaven. He made a modicum of a donation in perpetuity to have a peace prize. The only reason he did it is because he invented dynamite. Wow. That? I'm speechless.

I did not know that. Well, Clyde, you remember when we were on the road, we used to do San Jose and you'd go to the Winchester Mystery House? Certainly. Oh, yeah. Right? It was this house that had, it was like an Escher print that had stairwells and chutes and ladders. And the reason the woman, she was of the Winchester, uh, she married a Winchester. Somebody had people had been killed with a gun. She was afraid that the spirits were going to come back and get her. So she built a house that was one big baffle chamber.

So the ghosts would run into dead ends because, you know, that's how you figure out how to stay alive after you're dead is that you can't figure a fucking hallway out. So anyway, but you remember the catchphrase of the local TV, which was in the San Francisco Bay area about the Winchester mystery house? It was always Winchester mystery houses, seven to 10 miles south of San Jose open. And then she would say, keep building, keep building.

And that would crush. Did you have local Pittsburgh bits that would only work in Pittsburgh? Well, to some degree, but I remember most from New York because that cat on the island was always pushing, Carbell was always pushing cookie puss and, you know, crazy Eddie selling stereo equipment. Right. So that's when I was first indoctrinated into local catchphrases. And I remember SNL knocked off the most famous one,

which was a thing of about what we played the Beatle music on Broadway, and it was called Beatlemania. Then Jim Downey, I think, one dozen of Trace Back All Roads Lead to Downey comedically, he wrote that great bit called Beatlemania-mania. It's not the Beatles, but the next best thing. And then he changed it. It's not Beatle mania, but it's the next best thing.

It looked like a copy of a copy, you know, at a Kinko's or something where the guys were even a little more, more Scott and loosely connected to the actual beat of Beatle mania guys. So very funny. What's your, so let me try you spade first. You're playing Chicago. loosely connected to the actual Beatlemania guys. So very funny. What's your, so let me try you Spade first. You're playing Chicago. What's your local reference upfront for a laugh?

My local reference upfront is about Arizona. And then I realized quickly, it doesn't travel. Like that was the big wake up call. I'd never done S, when I did SNL, I'd only been in New York once in my life. So all my jokes weren't working and I didn't really have any clubs to go in. Once you're at SNL, you're locked in that dungeon. So I didn't do much standup except for maybe on the college gigs

and the weekends now and then. But man, I would do literally, I would say streets in Arizona. I would say, Hey, I was on a camelback, you know, over with the hookers on Van Buren. Yeah, there you go. And it's a sure fire. But that's in Arizona. And then I get out there and I go, I'm not funny. I just know my area.

It's just different, you know. I had a go-to adaptation that's politically incorrect, but I take the name of the city, extrapolate it to sound like an Indian name, you know, Fresno from the old Indian name, Fresenaca, which means drop your shorts. We don't have much time. Crushed beyond, beyond the beyond. I couldn't follow myself. They love you. I just said thank you and good night. You couldn't follow your own joke.

Jimmy Stewart blowing himself next. And then I just leave the stage. I could not follow myself. I remember one night, Randy Quaid and I were coming out of the comedy store. We went past that train car up there that sells burgers. You remember that? Carnies. What was it called, Spudly? Carnies, I think.

Yeah. Carnies, yeah. And we're walking past Carnies. And when you were talking about Jimmy Stewart, the original guy who did that, his name was Ron Jeremy. And he was a porn star who auto-filated himself. That's what he was known for. He comes up and he's a big fan. He's talking to Randy about the last detail. Randy was so great in that. Then he's telling me some of my jokes. We're both like looking at him, oh, thank you, sir. That's nice. As soon as he takes two steps away from us,

Randy and I simultaneously look at each other and go, that's the guy who blows himself. He wasn't even out of earshot. We couldn't wait to tell each other. Oh man. I saw him at the Rainbow all the time. Literally everyone from 1990 to 98, that's doing well is at the Rainbow, obviously me included.

I was like, why was I there? Oh. But I saw like, you know, Brett Michaels and those guys, they just, and they, you know, there's something about old people, not all people, but people that dress the way they were when they're most famous. So like they'll have the same hat or the same look or the same hair, the same exact outfit.

So you go, oh, that's that guy. You know what I mean? Was the rainbow the joint, Oh, that's that guy. You know what I mean? Was the rainbow the joint, um, like below, there was a private club called on the rocks. Wasn't that the, uh, very close though. That's all that same little run there where they're going to mow it down soon and make a club Monaco. Well, they better not do the whiskey because that's where the lizard king made his name. So you've got to leave the whiskey up.

It should be whiskey. Lizard King. Sorry. Who's the lizard came? Wait a second. What are you doing? You teasing me? Jim Morrison?

Yeah, sure. Oh, Jim Morrison is the lizard king. Oh, because of the the leather outfit? I, you know, I didn't, I never got Jim's curriculum VT to see exactly why he named himself that. But yeah, I think, I think there was some story about him out on a highway and he ran into a rap a hole crossed over and head on, but telephone pole or something had died and they saw the guy's spirit came in them and he saw a lizard on their fruit. Something like that. Just another day. That was the plot of Wayne's World too, I believe. I thought he had a big dick. Thank you, Jan. We had a guy playing Jim Morrison in the

desert. But okay, fun fact, Bill T. Craigie was disproportionately wrinkled for his age. And that's where the phrase Craigie came from. Cause Craigie is a great, how's he aging? He's looking a bit Craigie. Craigie. Craigie you mean? Craigie's not a word. Craigie's a word.

He's saying it with an E, it's with an A, right? I just made that up to get things going. Oh, okay. Jesus. Well, come on. Have them loosely based in reality for God's sake. It was a long ways away. With misinformation to rats. You know, Mr. Craigie. I'm thinking, what is Craigie?

Craigie is in fact Craigie. That's the joke. Isn't it ironic? I'm glad we're just on audio today because of my hair I I'm looking at it. And now you guys both, Carvey, yours looks like a beautiful like showering, you know, like one of those geysers goes off and runs down the side of your head. And I have three products. And he looks like David Jansen, like the lion. Alan Mirren, if you blew it straight up. Look at Spudly's hair, beautiful.

I know, looks great. Spudly's hair. Beautiful. I know. Looks great. Spudly's hair today, I did day comedy yesterday, but I have to start something Friday. I still don't know if I'm wearing a wig or not. What do you mean start something Friday? You're doing a film? Oh, I don't like to talk about it. What's going on is we're- It's called Busboys

with Theo Von. It'll be in a theater near you, Busboys with Theo Vaughn. Steve introduced me to that cat, and I find him so funny. I mean, really. He is, oh, we had a fucking blast. He is a smart guy. And remember we sat down and we watched UFC one night,

and you were with him and I thought, I thought it was like a reincarnation of Phil's caveman lawyer thing. He looked a little rough, but then the more I listened to him during the night, I said, Jesus, this guy is hysterical, man. Yeah, if you get into that frequency, he says the funniest shit.

And I was in between, so the fight was right in front of us. So we just, and obviously if you get Dennis right next to you, just whispering jokes about every round. And we were just all telling jokes to each other and it was the funnest night in the world. I said Dennis a lot there. I haven't been in a while. Are you going to go? Well, we'll talk off here.

I'd like to go in and see. That's quality talk. Well, Dan is the best host, isn't he? He's a good guy. He's a good guy. And he always treats you like a king. And you'll be sitting down front and you'll think, God, out of all the people in the world.

And I see Miles Teller there a lot too. He's a good guy. And one night I saw Mel Gibson and Lady Mary from Downton Abbey. You remember that night? Oh, I didn't see, I saw Mel Gibson and Lady Mary from Downton Abbey, you remember that night? Oh, I didn't see, I saw Mel, I've seen him there. Yeah, well she was just doing a film with him. So they were just as friends.

Fun fact, Dana White, I am Dana White's godfather. He was named after me. I've never revealed that before. Dana Craigie. Love that guy. Craigie. By the way, to pull it all in a circle. Craig is in fact, Craig. gave me that. Recessive chin has a weak chin. These are just, these are all in farmers.

Almanac. You know, it's funny is when it's like, it's like, whenever I'm with you guys, I know it's going to be such stream of consciousness that it reminds me of those times you had to do pre-interviews when you were starting out and like the Letterman pre-interview was more in depth than you trying to became a citizen of the country for God's sake. I know. With somebody go over jokes phonetically and that, you know, all of a sudden you're in an office with some people. We all remember the people. I don't want to denigrate them. But some of the people that you're pitching jokes to, you're thinking, my God, if I was writing to their level,

I wouldn't be on the Letterman show. You'd have to say a joke and they'd look at you, not that one. You think, what are you kidding me? You do a 45 minute pre-interview, this is what people at home don't know, before you do a seven minute spot on Letterman or something. So're like pitching and the guy's like, what's your Obama thing? And do the whole thing and sweating at the end. He's like, ah, what else? Maybe we'll push that

to the end. That's the worst. If there's time. Dennis, by the way, did you have a Tonight Show, first Tonight Show doing standup? I don't even know that story. No, I don't think I did. Or did you just skip that? I think I did.

You came out as a guest after S&M. Really? Remember there was a cat who screened people for the Tonight Show and he had like a six and a half foot long Hobie cat that he would go out to Pasadena on the weekend and pitch himself as a yachtsman, you know? And then you eventually see a picture of the boat that it's, you know, your grandson's in the bathtub

with it, it's so small. And that guy was omnipotent about who I'm recovering from. Hobie cat. I'm still recovering from just the, do you remember that guy? McCauley. Oh yeah. McCauley. Right.

Right. It was so funny. You pitched jokes to him and you'd say, Oh my God, you're kidding me. But I never ended up doing standup. I'm kinda, well, I don't know. I almost seem like I was a different person back then when I think back on it. As I got older, I started to hedge more bets

because I feel like when you're starting out, you just get in the room and you figure I've gotta get into the center of this room, so I'll take some risks. And then later as you go along, you're in the center of the room to some degree. I'm not saying, yeah, Tom Cruise is the center of the room, but you're at least in the room and you think I'm going to hedge a few bets here because I don't want to end up getting kicked out.

But at the beginning, you're fearless. I look back and I think I can't believe I had those cajones. But I did panel the first time and Johnny was like Henry Higgins, you know, showing you off at Ascot or something. He was so good at it. It was an easy gig. Why can't a regular piece be more like a comedian? I'm trying to do the my fair lady thing there, but why can't Dennis be more? But yeah, this is the first time I saw the power of our former manager, Brad Gray, Jim McCauley, me going there and my time was cut down or something. So Brad just sitting in his chair in the green room and he had that raspy kind of voice and

he just gestures with his finger to McCauley. So McCauley comes over and has to bend down to Brad. And I heard Brad go, we're not happy. We're not happy right now. It was the most powerful move I'd ever seen. No, really completely. You could be having lunch with Brad at the grill and all of a sudden it turned in him and the waiters like him and Mo Green or Michael and Mo Green. I don't want you to ever touch my brother. and most great things.

I don't want you to ever touch my brother and I don't care. You do not touch my brother. You know, it got really, uh, Brad. Yeah. Yeah. Spotlight was he your guy too, or was it Gervy all the time? Always Gervitz. Always Gervy. Brad would just jump in on stuff, but it was, uh, you know, but Gervy's been

straight through, uh, since day one and, uh, had different agents, but yeah. would just jump in on stuff but it was all you know but Gervie's been straight through since day one and had different agents but yeah the Gervitz is always funny we make fun of them on this show all the time. Dana get ready for Las Vegas style action at Bet MGM the king of online casinos enjoy casino games at your fingertips with the same Vegas strip excitement MGM is famous for when you play classics like MGM Grand Millions or popular games like Blackjack, Baccarat, and Roulette. I love it.

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Head to salesforce.com slash careers to learn more. Well, you know the great Brad story is, geez, I don't know if I should tell this. We can always edit. Just, yeah. Well, Clark, you've heard this story. We can always say we've got it. Where they're, where they're in Bernie's office, uh, Sandy who Sandy Wernick ends up managing Adam to ultimate success.

I mean, who's had a career and Adam's Adam, you know, I mean, he's so great at it, but those two dovetailed perfectly. And so it's Sandy and Brad and Bernie. Bernie Burlstein. Yeah, Bernie Burlstein, the avuncular head. And Brad says, he says to the receptionist, we don't want to be interrupted. This is important. I don't know what it was about. And then around 10 minutes in the receptionist calls and says, Brad, and he's, I said, I

didn't want to be interrupted. He said, it's your father. Now, Brad, at that point, you remember they were, he and his father were exchanged. It's strange for a while. And you know, Brad looks, he goes, Jesus, I haven't talked to him in years anyway. And Bertie says, well, he's either sick or he needs money. And Sandy says, let's hope he's sick. Good line.

Good line, Sandy Warnick. It's actually, yeah. Hollywood's so brutal. So cold. But the good thing, so brutal. So cold. But the good thing, Gervitz, Bernie, they loved comedy. That's why they have so many people that are comedians. They have all the SNL guys, all the great ones, all the way back to Belushi Akron.

And so they still have them. And that's why it's fun to go in and talk to Bernie when I was a newer comic, and he'd go, come in here. And he goes, tell me what's going on. And then he just wanted to laugh. So fun. He was funny. He gave me confidence.

Brad brought him to see me at a club and he goes, we're not going to give you the Saturday night live. You're bigger than Saturday. My previous managers thought I was a hack. It was, you're bigger than them. Now he'd always start his compliments off with How's About. How's about you're a fucking genius? How's about?

He told me, how's about you play Rooster Teeth Feathers again? I go, what about starting live? Come on, you gotta stay in the bullpen a little bit. You were there that week that I was at two bars with Destiny and tree. Tree! Great stand up, right? Yeah, he was a good stand up. Remember those old bunker I named destiny and then there was the cat Earl. He put on some weight and he went as tree trunk. Remember that?

What do you mean? He evolved into tree trunk? He put on weight and then he named himself tree trunk. Some of the craggy joke. I need an assist. Talking to the best joke writer. Yeah. Probably ever. He needs clarity.

So what's happening on the pod, boys? I see as I looked at the thing today that it was called something else. And is it no longer focused on SNL. Is it just sort of a free-forming? That's been a problem from the get-go that the confusion over that. We started a second podcast that's just us talking about videos and goofing around on YouTube, on video. That's called Superfly, totally separate from Fly on the Wall.

And a lot of people don't understand. We're moving parts there, boys. We took a confusion course at the Learning Annex. This is what we came up with. And the two podcasts harbored themselves. They diseased themselves. Well, don't start a Dr. Loris thing where you call the flyers down, you know, where you talk to depressed people because you're going to dilute the brand even further. Oh no, it's, we're up for the best podcast award. We're up for the best podcast award again.

Well, yeah, we are for best podcast on iHeart. Beautiful guys. Not exactly the Nobel Peace brand. Why don't you send, why don't you send when she sends Sashin little feather from down to Brando's? Is she still picking up awards? You might look her up somewhere. Maybe she she can go in.

It would be good publicity if you guys send Sashin. I don't know if they have a literal award show. I think it's an online poll of nine people. But we're over 200 podcasts we just found out. We've done over 200 between the two. Beautiful, boys. Cardi, where are you at there? Are you up this way?

Yep. Beautiful. On a farm in the Central Valley. Well, you look like it agrees with you. You look healthy as hell, but you've always had the best health regimen. There's great hikes up that way. Are you going up in the mountains at all? Oh yeah.

Keeping that VO2 max going. Send me another picture of your quads. I remember Carvey's, I think I went to the workout with him once when we were on Saturday Night Live and he, uh, he set the, uh, StairMaster machine on the highest setting and he was talking to me throughout and he like did an hour on it. I'm over there doing some girls pushups and he talked the whole hour. He wasn't even gassed and you know, at the end, like Sherpas were tapping on next to

him. You were in the best fit, uh, anaerobic guy I've ever seen. And then you had the pump blow out or something. That pump blew out in your heart? That was later on. It didn't blow out. I had hypotocosteremia. But I was like a sports car with a fuel injection problem.

But the engine was great. Engine was perfect. Listen car with a fuel injection problem, but the engine was great. The engine was perfect. Listen, it's still a pink title. Sorry, Dennis. It's still not something's never changed. No, I watched Ford and Ferrari and Carroll Shelby originally wanted to power his car with your heart. That's how strong the heart was.

Dude, I wanted them to get the whole thing. Did you ever, they did a whole thing. I mean, they go, go in just for laughs, get the whole scan. And so I got a whole scan and I think I did good. I think I sent it to Danix. I didn't understand it. Oh, both of you got zero.

All these years when you've sort of floated on the periphery of social scenes. And I know you like a nice social scene, but you're always working the, what did they call it on old paintings? They called there be whales at the corner of the painting, it would point outside. Every time I've ever been in a social setting

or a banquet with you, you're always floating around the outside and then you split because your neck hurts. And I always wondered, was that just a defense mechanism to get out of a scene or did your neck actually hurt? It's neck hurts combined with some boredom but usually, but everything I feel like more the people are less boring but if you're at one of these, I was at a Netflix party the other night and you know you go around I see people it's fun and I see famous people you

don't see for a while so we have a laughs. But when you're walking around with like, now you got a plate full of crab cakes, and you're just, now it's the fourth time you're running into Miles Teller, you just go, I think I'm gonna get out of here, because it turns into a head nod, and then you ignore them on the fifth one, and then you just go, I think I've done my job here tonight.

But I last about an hour, I'm really down to about an hour now, even if it's a great party, I'm like, I don't know. I can't just fucking rot. Well, I have to tell you one day, I know that where Spade stayed longer, and this will talk about what a man's fate is. He's always sort of ethereal, he pisses on stuff,

but he's the guy who's sending the bread to buy the bulletproof vest for the cops and Phoenix and that. And my son is graduating and it's when Tommy Boy is out. It's the biggest thing in the world. And I asked Fade, just I thought if he came to this grad party they had, now imagine this, we pitched a grad party

and we're gonna show Tommy Boy on a screen at this party. And it's all soft drinks and that is, yeah, it's not like we're at Polly Schor's house or above, but it's just a really sweet party. We're gonna watch the film and we deliberately have the projector break or it won't function.

And then I saw the kids are all like bummed out, but kinda, you know, they've all seen the film 10 times themselves. And I go, what are we gonna do to fill the time? Well, one of the stars is here and Spudly walked out from behind the screen. It was the biggest hue and cry. People went crazy, these kids.

And then Spudly stayed for a couple hours. He couldn't have been nicer. And he didn't turn into a sniff, you know, where it was all, you youngsters, you're gonna, you know, he was just a fool's spade, but framed properly. And they all felt like they met the real guy. And they still talk, you youngsters, you're gonna, you know, he was just a fool, spade, but framed properly. And they all felt like they met the real guy and they still talk about you. Obviously, my son still once in a while, say, everyone spade came and I always think what a cool move, baby.

Yeah, thank you. spudly fucking wrote it out. That's a fun time though. That's that scenario is perfect because you're not overwhelmed. It's not too much, you know, some things are too much. And are you some things are too much. And are you still with that girl you love? I'm sorry, what? I'm kidding. I'm sorry, what's going on?

Alert, alert. Dennis, you're cutting out. Off topic. Hey, Dennis was our guest. I like the story he ended with about the Tommy boys though. Dive, dive. This ain't no horse's cock. I like the story he ended with about the Tommy boys. This ain't no horses cock. I'm going right back to the last detail.

I want to do that for the last 40 minutes. Guess who was brought up for Busboys? Randy Quaid. Is that crazy? Get him in there. We were brought up, we were talking about casting and we were talking, I think it was for Theo's dad. And Theo said, what about Randy Quaid?

And we're all like, oh my God, we could dust off Randy Quaid. Oh, he's the nicest guy. And you remember some of his work in Midnight Express and I mean, he's a great actor. Most people know him from vacation, but he's done this, all this other stuff, but he can just ride on vacation forever because he was so good in that.

But I don't even know what bus boys is telling me. What is bus? Oh, just a movie me and Theo wrote. And it's about two losers that want to be waiters. They're bus boys that try to be waiters. They can't work. And they think if they're waiters, it'll straighten out their lives, but because my girlfriend ran off with a waiter.

So we're like, fuck dude, waiters got it made, dude. If we just get that, it'll all come together for us. So I don't wanna give it all away, Dennis. No, come on. That's pretty good, but you're busboys and then shenanigans. Yeah, happened, obviously happened. Dennis was there the first round of fucking Joe Dirt.

And then I remember we were doing it and remember we didn't have a ton of time. So that's right. I mean, I had my mini sides on my legs in the radio station. Freddie Wolf behind me playing the guy. I remember that. Tech guy and then the zoo crew guy. And then Dennis was the guy. Oh, I remember that. Tech guy and then the zoo crew guy. And then Dennis was the one. Of course we try to write jokes for Dennis

and then they're somewhat in the vicinity and then he just keeps adding laughs. And so it made it that every time we cut back to the radio station, it's funnier because Dennis is doing all this great stuff. Jane Fonda from Clute, that was not in the script, I guarantee you. And then I had my sides of my,

like I said, so many lines, it was too hard. I'd look down, then I'd say them, then I'd look down and say them, but we got through it. Spreadly, out of all the things I've done, I can't tell you how many people still come up to me. And I always wondered, why was that? I know you did a two, but it seemed like it would have been ripe for a two

even quicker than that, right? It's such a- Yeah. That's a lot of people's favorite movies. Yeah. Yeah, we might do an animated version, which would be easier because then I won't have to get, look like the old Joe Dirt.

So if we could do an animated- There was a sequel a few years ago, right? Yeah. But I'm saying that one had to go to Crackle. Some offense to Crackle. I was gonna say no offense, but some- The Sony bought Crackle. Yeah, Sony bought Crackle and they go,

we're gonna make this Netflix, which wasn't a bad idea. So they said, the only way we'll let you do another Joe Dirt is if you go do it on crackle. Now, we didn't know there'd be commercials in it and not a paywall, but you'd have to sign up for crackle. So all these people that want to watch it have to fill out a form and make it harder. And they said, if we can get a million downloads out of this, we'll be successful. And that'll help build our library and get the word out. Cause you know, I could do press at NASCAR

and I could go on talk to them. So we do it, they give us a shitty budget. We do it, they actually, they cut the budget during the shoot, which was. Bad sign. Not great. And then we do it. I still like it.

I go out there and try to, I didn't get paid a lot. We go do it, they get a million downloads within two days. Wow. And within a week, they got 2 million and then they got 3 million and then around three and a half, I just stopped asking. And then I, cause there was just, they- Yeah, that's why I don't understand

with all the stuff- They bailed on Crackle and then it folded. So they, Crackle's still out there, but they decided they don't want to put money in it to make it into Netflix. So I don't know what its purpose is anymore, but we had a good jumpstart, very obscure. Well, Spade, that's why I'm saying

with all the adherence to the intellectual property, everything needs some sort of past iteration before people will bet money on it. Joe Dirt, number one, was such a proof of concept. I'm surprised somebody didn't, you know, iteration before people bet money on it. Joe Dirt, number one, was such a proof of concept. I'm surprised somebody didn't, you know, to think that somebody's let you do a Joe Dirt, too, if you'll do it on crackle. For God's sakes, why not just do it on Citizen Band Radio?

They should have come in and said, let's do a sequel and push chips in, like Mike did with Wayne's World 2. I bet you it would have went that high. Yeah, I don't know. That was a tough part. We couldn't get it going. And so that was our thing was to put it there on the witness protection program. But and it's shocking it did well over there. And they've got all these people signed up to fucking dog shit crackle. But then they pull the money to make it big like a Netflix. And so the head of Crackle left.

Well, let's face it. Once you do the mozy through show business, you're still in the middle of it. They know I a little further down the line. You're surprised you get anything off the ground. Honestly, the great mystery to me, and I don't know, maybe Carve had something to do with it. But the biggest thing in America was Churchley. I see some of the things they make movies of from Saturday Night Live. I'm telling you, Carve, you remember when Church Lady was at its peak. It was just, it was, isn't that special? It was everywhere.

And that movie, Theatrically, this is way before COVID, all that stuff. But I always thought that would come off. What's the backstory on that? Or do you choose not to share? Well, SNL studios, Lauren Michaels didn't get an official studio. SNL studio started after I left somewhere and that's where they did Stuart Smalley movie. It's Pat movie. Um, I had an idea once that she's at a Bible retreat in Santa Barbara, and then she's driving her car in a rainstorm and it breaks down in Malibu, and then she goes and knocks on the door,

and so it's a Malibu beach party full of celebrities and Sodom and Gomorrah. I thought it was young Frankenstein. We're not wearing any pants, are we? You know, so it just goes around. I'm the age that Church Lady is, if anyone's listening, we can do that for three and a half million. I told you, I told you you should have done Church Biden on one of those SNLs you did, where you just did a complete mashup of you're Biden and you're in the Church Lady government.

I know that was your idea. Church Biden. Well, well, isn't that special? Oh, no more special than me if I can't knock him. You would have figured it out. You would have figured it out, no doubt. No, he gets, he gets in as one of his things and he comes into the podium with a wig on and he thinks he's... Well, look, I mean, I don't know if this is rumor,

but I hear that with what they're planning with Biden's retirement is to build a replica of the Oval Office in the House and bring him in there every day. And then once in a while, the fear is that, you know, Hunter might pretend to be a foreign person. You know, who's who? We have next. We have the ambassador to Spain here. Yeah. Hey, hola, hola. I'm, my name's Sebastian. I'm from Spain. Yeah, what can I do for the country of Spain?

I've always loved Spain. We could use like a hundred billion dollars. All right, let's do it. Get him a check. Hasta luego, hasta la vista, whatever, dad. I mean, me, goodbye. So that's probably gonna- Like Rupert Pupkin, De Niro in King of Comedy, he's doing the talk show down in the basement

in front of the placards. Clear your schedule for you time with a handcrafted espresso beverage from Starbucks. Savor the new small and mighty Cortado, cozy up with the familiar flavors of pistachio, or shake up your mood with an iced brown sugar oat shaken espresso. Whatever you choose, your espresso will be handcrafted with care at Starbucks. But I went to 10 Saturday Night Live parties and stayed there till 5 a.m. every night.

Can you believe this, Dennis? This motherfucker went to the show. But, Kurt, they must have been all coming up to kiss the ring, right? I mean, geez, you have a meritorious status there now. Once you're around long enough, you do get a lot more positive feedback, you know? I remember when you and I would go to those S&O parties after, when we were in such an unwind thing, neither one of us were serious partyers, but that's such a pressure cooker that you would probably throw five or six beers and I'd have a couple of lodges on

the rocks and then we'd share a car to the Upper West Side because we lived across the street from each other and neither one of us are great drinkers. I mean, you could handle your beer, but I have never left as hard in my life as when we would go up the, you know, the, the West side highway and just how from some of those parties that were way down. Well, we did so silly, like, you know, flying, you and I flying together and sort of flaunting our neurosis in a funny way. But Dennis was the seat behind me and I'm in the seat ahead and we're just flying across the country.

Dennis over and over again would lean in and say, Carvey, if you see anything out of the ordinary, anything, I wanna be the first to know. And if he said that one time, he said it like 40, 50 every single time. We were so frightened flying. Carvey and I were, but I actually grew to be a good flyer. I had a good insight from Penn Gillette once, at Penn and Teller, we were on a flight and it was getting bouncy. And he was reading the newspaper. He didn't even look over at me. I was getting pissed off. It's one of those things where you get pissed off at somebody who's not afraid

of flying when it's really bumpy. And I look over and like, are you fucking kidding me? This doesn't scare you. He goes, what? I get this. And he finally looks up and now he's cognizant that we're in really bad turbulence. And he looked at me and he's, oh, shut up. Alexander the Great would have given everything he ever done for two and a half minutes up here. Which in some weird way gave me clarity about the pragmatic nature of flying. But when Harvey and I were on the road together,

we were both so flipped out that we'd get blasted. You remember that night we were over the Rocky Mountains in that electrical store, we both called Bernie Broesty and our manager and told them we were leaving the company. You have us out here on the road, you're on a fucking Malibu on our architectural digest, you son of a bitch. Yeah. Dennis used to say, got a little light shop and a little dirty air. That's how they tone it

down. You're like, I'm bouncing off the ceiling. You got a little light chop. Yeah. I just want to say two words about this chop, structural integrity. They always go, you know, the wings of the plane can touch at the top. I'm like, I don't know if we need to get that far and test this out. Carl, did you get better at it? I haven't flown within a while. Are you any better? I've gotten better at it. Yeah, I think so. I think you just get worn down by it, but I still do get thirsty on an airplane, even with a little bit of packed in there, claustrophobia. You know, I'm just bouncing around, it's third hour in and I'm kind of bored. And then it's like someone comes up very nicely and says, would you like something to drink?

And I go, okay. You're not trying to pretend with me you're still on commercial air, are you? Because I mean, come on, are you kidding me? Well, the gross in the net gets disturbed when you do a gig and you get very disturbed. It gets altered. Yeah. You know, they were cheaper. Now it's when it's a push, it's bad. You remember when that was one of the best days of my life.

We had a gig in a place called Thackerville, Oklahoma. We wanted to get in and out and Norm was with us. The three of us were the headliners. We rented a plane and we flew from Van Nuys or Burbank, I think, to Thackerville. You didn't even have to land in Dallas and do the drive north because there was a strip somewhere up near Thackerville, which was a nice gig. I don't want to just... It's like a city, Thackerville. That's the biggest casino in the world. You're right. And we docked the gig at, and then we split right after.

So between all of the stuff we were there, together for like 10 or 12 hours that day, I have never laughed so hard. Norm was just killing me. That was my last Norm hangout. I mean, I think because it was before COVID, one funny thing Dennis did is he goes, hey, Spotlight, well, I think we each had to do 30.

And he's like, you wanna, I think I might wanna go first and run back to the room and take care of some stuff. And I'm like, oh, okay. Then Norm goes, then I should go on after that. And I go, yeah, go ahead. You fucking assholes. I have to follow these two great comedians. Oh, fine. Did you know, Spudly, that did you know that Norm was, I did not know Norm was that. I did not. You know, he was. No, and I

was. I never knew. Kind of mad about it because we kept setting up a dinner and then he kept going. I go, so what? So it's six o'clock, so you're heading over and you're like, what? It's COVID. I go, Norm, we've gone over this. It's nine months into COVID. You drive to my house, we sit 10 feet apart at my table. What?

I go, we keep this, you agree to it and then you cancel. Was he actually hard of hearing or was that just a stall tactic? I go, I didn't like it when he would text what? I go, Norm, you can't text what? You hear me on text. Isn't it ironic that Norm's true genius and I don't know, from the first time I met him, I told you that first joke.

I heard there was a new kid in LA from Canada, Eddie Feldman. My writer said, there's a guy here. He's great. I saw him. His name's Norm MacDonald. And I said, well, where did you see him? He said, I saw him at the improv. And he did that great joke where he said, I feel sorry for the homeless guy, but I really feel sorry for the homeless guy's dog. Because you know, the dog's thing, and this is the longest fucking walk I've ever been on. Do we eventually go in somewhere? Because I could do this on my own. And I heard that joke.

I said, your head is so funny. So I get on the horn with Norm and I say, hey, I know you're just here. And I'm just saying if you want to stop the app writing job, I've got this talk show. And I said, I'd hire you right now, but just the protocols dictate you send in some sort of a batch of jokes or something. And Norm said, I don't do batches, but I'll send in one joke and you guys can make your determination. He was already hired, but I was trying not to usurp the head writer and producers, you know, their office and I didn't want to overstep. So I go, okay, send a joke. And the joke is he reads the AP Wire story

of Jeffrey Dahmer's trial. And it's so grotesque and detailed, you know, the actual transcript about disembowelment and eating pancreas and belly. And he reads the whole thing. And then he says that at the end, Dahmer defended himself by saying he started it. It's like the greatest joke

camper. So we hired him. And I always thought he was a genius from that point on, but he always sort of was on the fringe. And now it's so unfortunate. It's like, to me, he's like Van Gogh, you know, when you hear about Van Gogh, during his lifetime, having to, you know, take handouts from Teo and that Norm was not taking handouts. But I'm just saying every day I look now on the reels that I get, it's Norm. Right. I'm reminded of another great joke. Yeah.

Yeah. 100% because I get these Norm MacDonald pages and people send them to me and I'm like, I don't remember this joke. Like, there's a couple there I never saw. I don't know if you guys had this experience, but I was just, I had a long drive. In some reason I ended up talking with Norm and for an hour and a half, we talked about our career issues and he was just completely not one joke and just sort of talking about this sitcom didn't go and they didn't know what to do with me and it was very interesting to be around him.

The only other time I heard him like that was when his attache assistant, best friend, Lori Jo had some heart issues and they were consulting with me. She's fine for people who are listening, but. Hello, Jo. And I could tell that Norm was really worried and so he had that other side, of course, but

as far as obtuse one liners, I would praise him as high as, as putting him on Dennis's footing. I would put those two guys. Sorry. Come on. No, no, I'm being totally real. I mean, look, this is an example of a thing that I always quote about you and it, it, it just kills me. I don't know why, but you were up there, you're opening for me or I'm opening for you and you go, Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care. What the kind of hell attitude is that? I mean, like who does that?

Who would do a joke like that? I had to go out with this guy and I did a, what did the either black or white special? I think Schneider opened for one and I opened for one. And you have to go up before Dennis' crowd, but they're nice. And then Dennis does a killer hour. So great.

Each joke and you know, all your cards out. Yeah. Great. You know, when I actually saw recently, sometime in the last year, I mean by recently, our young comedian specialist, by the way. That was quite a murderers row of comedians when I look back on it. Freddie Stoller was good. Jan was good.

And, Clark, I think you're friends with Jan Carrum, right? Or you know her? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was in it. Drake, that cat war in Thomas, is no longer with us, she was in it. Drake, that Kat Warren promise is no longer with us, but it was a killer. And you and Schneider, I mean, you look bad, man. We were hit, we hit the ball that night.

Oh, fuck yeah. Dennis is hosting it. Brad Ben-Gurvitz produced it. And what a great one. That got me at least in the vicinity of SNL. And then you helped on that one too. I remember writing fucking update jokes for Dennis. It's so hard. God dang. It's so hard to write a bunch of jokes. It's just update jokes are a different world too.

People get there as comics and think you're going to write a sketch very easily. It's such a different muscle. It's so hard to figure out that formula. You know, I see reels of the current guys who do it. And I don't, I'll be honest, I don't want us to show. And there's no grievance there. I just, it's not my, I'm not up at 1130 on Saturday. But I do see these clips of them together.

And when they do that back and forth thing where they write jokes for each other, they kill. And it is so funny. And I, I, I don't remember seeing reels of them years ago, so I don't know if they've grown into it or not, but I think, uh, his name's Yost and, uh, Jay are very funny together. Colin and Michael. Yeah. They started doing that maybe just a couple, three years ago, I think.

But they've evolved that with this chemistry to become one of the all-time duos up there. And when I was there, the last show, Michael wrote some jokes, cold jokes for Colin to read live on air. And they were extremely inappropriate, racist. And there were a lot of stuff about his wife, Scarlett Johansson, and they would cut to her in the hallway, looking at it on a monitor. And that crushed because Colin lost it for real on, on live TV, laughing so hard, barely getting through it. That crush is hard as anything I'd seen in that studio in a long time.

Well, I always wanted to talk to somebody who's inside there, Carl, cause I've heard that too. And sometimes these stories are almost apocryphal about things. Because I remember, let's face facts, when you'd go out with Robin, everybody'd say he's just making it up as he went along. And he often made things up.

But he also had a quarry worked off. Nobody's going out there with absolutely nothing. So you hear these tales and you wonder, are they actually seeing each other's jokes, you believe, for the first time? They are when they do that. Yeah, when they do that, they do. But they don't do them in dress, that same joke?

Because they're not that, no one's that great an actor. I mean, they, that, they're, they're really shocked by it. I'm happy to hear that. Well, you remember, the first time I heard that was, Malaney, who I think is a genius, used to write jokes for that character that, I remember the first time I heard that was a Malaney, who I think is a genius, used to write jokes for that character that... Who was a guy who went to club.

Yeah, Bill Hader did. Yeah, Hader. With the hands over his mouth. Yeah. Stefan or something? Stefan, yeah. And the single funniest joke I think I've ever heard on Weekend Up Big.

Hader would always. The template was, this place has everything. And then he did the quintessential New Yorker joke, and only people who've lived in New York and co-ops or condominiums will know what this means. He said, this place has everything. This place has everything. Doorman who high five children of divorce. And you remember the doorman in your building was always like, yeah, you know, like part of the family after a couple of years. And everything in your building was known by everybody else. And if there was a, you know, disturbance in the force, the guy would go out of his way to make the youngins feel good.

But children. That, yeah, Malaney is an incredible joke writer. That, you know, being on that show again, a lot of magic stuff happens at the dress show. I just anecdotally, it seemed to me the dress show just had more energy and, and just, um, so the fact that Colin did not, they don't do those jokes at the dress show. They're just doing them live, live show. But there's something about like, I would go do Biden. Yeah, I was, I was, and I come out of the dress show when I first started landing it,

if you were like clapping and wow, way to go. And then I would do the air show, try to do equivalent. And then you come out of 8H and everyone's just like, you know, so there is something I just want. I mean, the show works the way it works. It's 50 years. Should never change it. But I wondered if Carol Burnett, if they essentially shot the dress show and that allowed for a

lot more spontaneity. You know, cause it's the first time you're coming on. Take is good. Yeah. Yeah. I think they did. I think they did shoot both of them, but I think they leaned heavily towards the one on air. But yeah, if you're going to run a dress, why not shoot it? Right. I mean, they shoot it and the air sometimes goes higher, but I, it just, when it got cold

out there, the audience, it's a tractor pull to get into that studio waiting and late. And, um, you know, you know, one of my early ones was Michael J. Fox impression and he came on the, the child actors, we were going to rob a bank together or

something. And, uh, that was, I think a smile of it, super hilarious. And so I was playing Michael J. Fox, he was playing Danny Bonaduce. And when I was doing a speech right to him, he started cracking up in dress, and it was a fucking monster. And then on air, he didn't laugh,

because he had heard it. And I'm like, where was this? Please God, air the fucking dress version. There was a bit where someone was spraying water at Colin for the dress show, and it was the first time. And then it just had this magic to it. And then the air show was fine, perfectly great. But there is something about the first time you can't top it.

Half the crew knows it's coming. Half the cast sees it once. So it's not a hundred percent you. It's a thing that don't peek at dress. It's a thing. Do not peek at dress. Carl, was the schedule still the same? And what parts did they ask you to participate in? Did you still have that Monday thing

where everybody sat around Lauren's office? Because I came in just to do Biden contractually. I was sort of I was placed with Maya Rudolph and Gaffigan and Andy Samberg. And so they the first show they asked Gaffigan and I to come into the read through, which is now an eight H and it's like a giant. There's no, you're kidding me. It's a huge room. I didn't you know this? I didn't know this. You've got place cards and tablecloths and snacks and there's a piano and they do symphony orchestra. They bring in classical music.

They have those massage chairs like at the airport where you sit and kneel on them. Well, we were doing a circle jerk in a broom closet on 17. It's harder to kill there. A lot of the writers kind of missed that up on 17, the tightness of the room. It's just dissipates a little bit. Picking over Huxley's leftovers. Yeah.

That meeting room on 17 really was Thunderdome, wasn't it, man? You thought. Fucking sweat box. You often saw killer shots there, but there was a couple of times where people overreached. I know we want to name names because I'm old and conciliatory now, but a couple of times you can remember people really going for something and it just hanging there and you know, Lauren would say, all right, moving on.

Oh, the BO was breaking records. Everyone was so nervous, it was sickening. And then someone would get up or and would crack the window a quarter inch and be freezing within two seconds. Everyone's like, it's like, shh. The worst is when they do show and tell, like you put on a little hat or you have a little instrument or something

or a vest, sweater, and bombs. And you're gonna stand up and act it out. And then it's dense silence and you know, oh, moving on. Oh, I'm a Yankee Doodle, Dan. Everyone's like, sad little sailor. You know, when you look back, think about how lucky it was.

I mean, geez, I, you know, I look back and I was never a cool kid. And I think Spudly and you seen a little. I don't know of your youth as much, but I think we're all a little bit nerdly and all of a sudden you're in the cross hairs of it, man. And when I look back, I just always think, wow, how lucky that was to be in that room with all its sort of Damocles hanging over your head.

And if you fucked up three weeks in a row, you were probably gone. But I looked back and it was the uh, it was the juice, wasn't it? And you are the spices. They say in doom, you really got the spice in that room. I feel for the, you know, the young cast and a lot of the people, you know, there's 18 or 20, I don't know how many cast members. And I was talking to one of them once and he goes, look, it's,

it's hard to be relaxed out there because you know, if you go out there and you don't quite land it, then you're not going to be written for it. You're not going to be in the show for a few weeks. So it's hard to get loose. When we came in, Dennis, we had such a small cast that everybody got their reps in with it. Look, if I had not gotten that show, I don't, I think I'm, I'm playing Yuck Yucks and Merced tonight, you know? So that was my ticket. You know, I was 31 when I got on there. I'd had my tenures in the clubs

and I bombed every pilot they put me in and the Bert and Kirk film and it was a disaster. Damaged goods. To your point, the luck of getting on there. And then of course you were like made out of a factory to be the update guy, because you could land jokes and you're such a reader. I mean, it really matters to be able to read really well is a big advantage.

See a card, you know, nail it. Yeah, Larry King said to me one night, I had him on my HBO show and he said, God, you know how to read a prompter. And I, I, I, you know, some people would take that as a, you're a prompter chimp joke. I looked at him and said, Larry, that's the nicest thing anybody could say. That is nice. It's hard to do, but it was different. Let me ask you a question. This is technical for the people listening still like cue cards versus prompter. What would you prefer? Me too. Because it kept you, uh, listen, that can go awry. I, there is something you were talking about first show, second shot. I don't want to sound too like, uh,

we don't sit there and do Oppenheimer things on blackboards about how the show goes. But half of the thing is the frisson of it fear, you know, like the surface tension when you over pour glass that tremble. That's where the whole money shot is on that show. And I always thought the cards sometimes they wouldn't come out at the same pace and you felt less robotic about it. It could go awry. Plus my card girl was Tom Laughlin's daughter, Billy Jack's daughter, which I always dug that because I love Billy Jack so much. So whenever I was in trouble with the crowd, I think of saying, when I see what you've done to this little audience, I just go pivot kick, berserk like in the ice cream parlor.

But the fact that it could go wrong a little, I always dug that feeling. Because then when you conquered it, and it didn't always go right, there were times, and boy, you were hanged on the next day if you blew, you screwed the pooch, as they say at NASA. But for the most part, you're not gonna screw the pooch there

because you do it with some degree of alacrity. And I used to like that, man, that feeling carved you around her when you'd come up and do something at the desk and we would just be howling at how maxed out it was. And Spudly used to kill with the guy. Hollywood minute. Yeah, it was the Spud moment.

Well, we know the power of home base and right to camera, because when I was doing Church Lady and David was out doing Hunter Biden, and it was getting used to that idea of, don't look at the cards, there's the wide shot, there's the money shot, also kind of glance over at your guests, but don't go too profile.

It's just getting used to all that. But money, you know, when I was doing Biden, normally it was just straight ahead. It's much easier. It gives me chills thinking about it. When you're on that show and you're in a good sketch and you do your lines and you kind of miss him, you lay down a broken bat single,

you walk back off camera and everyone kind of darts their eyes. You're like, fuck, I have two lines to get it right. I just kind of missed it. Or you fluff it and you're like, if I just had one more take, it would be better. But you do that too many, like you said in a row. It's so under rehearsed. And the director, Liz, who's a lovely person,

I really got myself in her shoes of like, you're doing Hunter, I'm doing my thing. How long do you hold right after the laugh? Or do you cut after the line? And then of course, bumbling a line is so painful. Or not getting a laugh and realizing later the camera wasn't on you. The cutting, because she doesn't have that much time. Or we had Davey Wilson. It's such a fly by thing. But when it works, it's magic. Put it that way. For sure. Well, Carver, you had a nice return there and you hit the ball really hard every day. I'm golfing a lot now and the guys at my golf course would always say, oh, Carver, you killed it over the weekend. So nice to know

you were still putting good wood on the ball, brother. How did your chops feel? Did it come back to you right away or it never went? Well, I, you know, I'd done some Biden just slowly, but surely I was gathering a Biden up, you know, because I noticed no one was really doing him, you know. And so when I went there and read through, I didn't, I was just just coalescing in my head, but Lauren was sitting next to me and no one had really kind of figured out Biden, how to make it funny or sensitive or whatever. So I just had this thing of and guess what? By the way, just that. And then I saw Lauren's shoulders go up like that and he was happy. So I knew I had a hook and I think that I was discovering it with the audience

hook and I think that I was discovering it with the audience live in real time. But yeah, it came back to me for sure. It felt like I was home again doing rhythms. And I had a warm up with him on on on this podcast and I had some clips out with him with the Biden I was doing. So I had a lot of good honing. So because he got to make mistakes here. Boy, when they're cutting back and forth between the shots here, Spade looks like he's in some, uh, swing, you know, private booths, uh, somewhere.

Uh, and a VIP booth and then you got to, uh, trick that place out a little, that room you're in, you got that table over here. It looks like, uh, the Pixar opening credits with that lamp or something. You got to get some flowers in there or something. Get some flowers. Leave this over on the left. It's like the honeymooners. It's like Cromden's place with the Pixar light on top of it. Spidey, what's your book over your shoulder? What are you selling there? What's that? Oh, that was a John Lennon book.

Cause I bought the glasses, John Lennon's glasses and that's the collect Beatles book and this, this Dana White game, this your boy gave me that Bruce Lee skateboard. Dennis, you can react whenever you're ready. I thought, I just thought we would give them an edit point there in case we're wrapped up because I got to split soon. Oh yeah, let's go. Dennis, Dennis, we love you and you're one of the, I don't know if you should retire,

you're still better than 99 to 100% of the comics out there. I'm liking being retired, man. You know what? I just want to explore what it's like not do it. I did it so long that I thought, I didn't even know what I'm like. When did I start it? Writing jokes and staying in that guys,

that blah, blah, blah, blah, maybe 30, 71 now. And I just thought, man, you know, why don't I analyze it? Hopefully I get another 10 or 20. I'm going to just try to see what it's like being what am I, what am I like without all the trappings? Well, do you find, did you find this? Because I feel like if I go before I ever did stand up. And then I start to do it. Just as a nobody in San Francisco, just this little bit of tension or weight, it would come and go, but it was just there. I should be writing more material.

I should be doing that at a club. And then SNL, I should do that. And that movie bombed, I gotta do this. And so there's still like this sort of weightiness when you're connected to it and the excitement of that and making money and all that. But I just wonder when you psychologically take that away, does your relaxation quotient go way up? Well, I've been reading and I saw Seinfeld was reading this too, which is intriguing to me because

I've been reading a lot of the Stoics, Marcus Aurelius and Seneca. Yeah, Jerry talked a lot about that. He's into that. I'm just trying to see what's on the other side of that apprehension about not doing it. I think there's something important there. I don't want to sound too ethereal. Maybe I'll find out that I just missed doing it. Maybe you'll see me back in a walker doing jokes or something.

But right now, I'm thinking, okay, I always defuse that sort of anxiety or fear of the unknown by telling a joke or getting up on stage or smiling and glad handing. And I thought, what's beyond that? So I'm just trying to sit in it for a moment and I'm finding on the other side of it, I'm kind of enjoying that lack of apprehension. Because let's face facts, I don't care how much you feel safe going out on stage, and you do get safer over the years, I'd still be getting there, going across

country and getting there and going to the place and right before you go on. And then it can go wrong at any moment. I mean, the moment you start thinking this can't go wrong, it's like Robin's old bit that he did in his first special about step inside the comedian's mind where you hear that submarine clacks and go. Mayday, mayday. Dive, dive. Yeah, so I don't miss that part of it,

but when a joke pops into my head, I often think, well, listen, I'll call Carvey the church Biden, but then that gets snackged back in your face. Like, it can be in the tumble. I just want one quick question. Just how does stoicism relate to what you just said? Just letting go or being in the moment or not making problems that don't exist

is kind of part of it, right? Well, I'm trying to find out, I used to control things with my showbiz career in a way, because you can manage that. You're really managing an efficient organization to some degree when you're in the middle of it. And then I realized that you're not managing anything. And if the, you know, I don't know when this airs, but if the Palisades doesn't remind you that, yeah, I was just trying to get my head around the fact that really you don't, you have to balance not controlling anything except your thought processes and still leading a happy non morbid life. You don't have to be forlorn about it. I'm just trying to find that delicate, where the Venn diagram taps, where you realize that you don't have any control over it.

And in an odd way that should free you up to not worry about it as much. So, I think that makes a lot of sense. All right, boys. Well, you know, I love you both. And I love you with all my heart. It's been a blast hanging out with you. And then we also recorded it and we'll get paid.

So check in now and then and give us some new stuff if you've got jokes to burn. Well, listen, you gotta get rid of, I've been staring at Bruce Lee's nipple for an hour here now. I see it. And it appears he only has one in that photo. And who else had one nipple in famous lore, Harvey? I'll quiz you there. Uh, Paul Harvey. Which one?

Wow. Scaramonga, the man with the golden gun played by the great Christian. Oh yeah, that guy, that guy. Oh no, he had a third nipple. He just got Bruce Lee's other one. I just remember there was some sort of ariola discrepancy. It was scaramonger. Ariola discrepancy. All right, Dennis, love you, bud. Love you, buddy. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all this stuff, smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts.

Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.