Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Diddy Trial; AI Aniston; Poop Knife

Episode Date: July 7, 2025

Dana and David meet during the holiday weekend to discuss toe wrestling, AI scams featuring Jennifer Aniston, the Diddy verdict, and a family sharing poop knives. Plus they answer some fan questions! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Discover the magic of Bet MGM Casino, where the excitement is always on deck. Pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games with Live Dealer. From Roulette to Blackjack, watch as a dealer hosts your table game and live chat with them throughout your experience to feel like you are actually at the casino. The excitement doesn't stop there, with over 3,000 games to from, including fan favorites like Cash Eruption, UFC Gold Blitz and more. Make deposits instantly to jump in on the fun and make same day withdrawals if you win.

Download the BetMGM Ontario app today if you don't want to miss out. Visit betmgm.com for terms and conditions. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. So Dana's got a banana and I guess everyone, I don't know if everyone

heard about this, but look at that. That's what he's starting with. Is it super professional? I don't know. He's still eating. He goes, the podcast is starting. I'll start eating right now. Okay.

Don't make it so sick. You drink water with a banana? I don't know. I think you're supposed to drink Diet Coke. We did start, but we're letting him. All right. Let's start recording. No, we started.

You were regurgitating your banana. Good job. So you got your potassium levels up? I feel kind of amped up right now. You know that this is fun fact for you because I know you're a cinephile, film buff. Stallone wanted to lower his IQ when he played Rocky. So he said he made sure he got really low on potassium. He wouldn't eat any bananas and he felt that that would make them

and they go, we can't understand you Sly. Could you have half a banana and raise that IQ? Get him a banana. This is his whole take. This is take one when he goes, I was cut. We can't understand a word you're saying. We can't get one word. Is my hat crooked? No, it's not the hat. Didn't you have a turtle named fucking Dumpling or something?

What was the turtle name? Dump leader, Butkus? Yes. That's a fan question. Butkus? Dumpling I made up, but Butkus, you found it. No, you eat a dumpling. Butkus is a turtle. Hey, don't mess around with my turtle, Butkus, you found it. No, you eat a dumpling. But, Butkus is a turtle.

And I'm in the room with my turtle, Butkus. I want an Oscar. Not with Mike Tyson. What was the dog's name on the Brady Bunch? The dog's, Buster. No, Jan. Anyway, let's move on. That's the roughest joke that I heard at school.

Are we going to get canceled this soon into the podcast? Are we going to get Jan-celled? We shouldn't even go on. We just gave all their monies where the jokes right there. Now it's just gravy. Hey man, we went to the 70s. Eve Fulham? We went to the 70s.

What? God, Heather just tried to trip me up and she fell flat. Heather's a chatterbox today. Yeah, she yelled out, what's Jan's real name? No, I didn't. What's the dog's name? Tiger. Thank you.

Oh, dog's name was Tiger. How many in the Brady Bunch? How many kids? Dana, this isn't amateur hour. This isn't round one of who wants to win a millionaire. There's not eight. Dana, you don't know. Did you ever see the Brady Bunch? It wasn't, I was on my radar.

I was more, what was I watching? Mash, a TV show, sitcoms? I'd be watching All in the Family. No. Sam Burton's done. Eat a stifling issue. Eat head. Oh, won't you?

I don't know what you're talking about. What about the Sandler's old joke about Axl Rose turning into Edith? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, watchy. I like that, that's funny. I love it. He does it a lot lot better. What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Yeah. You stifle yourself. That was it. He was like Tony's opponent. Hey, eat his stifle, eat his shelf. Eat his stifle, eat his shelf.

All right. We got to get right to this, Dana. We can't screw it. Let's start. Yeah. We're starting with some stories and some news AI fake stories. Okay. Here's, this is not a dishwasher commercial.

This is, well, I guess we're giving away a little bit of the ending, but Red Panda, who Dana, you know, you know, when there's halftime or at the quarter, they have people come and entertain the troops. Yeah, they have these novelty acts and jugglers and they do scary stuff. Yeah. Yeah. She's one of the best. She gets on a, I guess, a eight foot unicycle and juggles plates on her head. I mean, that's the easiest way to say it. Oh, I see. You know, okay.

Here she is. I can do that. Yeah, I could do that part. So far I can do it. I can do it. Oh, she fell. She fell that fast. That's not the hard part.

She didn't have plates on her head. I mean, the plates feel like the hard part. Are those paper plates? Are they real plates? Well, I would start with paper plates. Well, I feel I'm feeling a little sad for her right now because she seemed to really on point and just ready to rock and I can't really, I can't, can we see it one more time? That's called a non-playing injury.

What does it call? She's in control, in control, in control. She does a little back and forth, back and forth. Hello. I'm Red Pen and tonight's show. Oh, you know what? Ow, right in her tailbone. I think she's, she's okay, right?

So we, but I do think there was a moment, but she's all right, that's all right. A moment where she's up there and she's just looking out. Right. And then you see, she looks down and goes, what the fuck am I doing up here? And then down. So never look down, David.

Yeah. Maybe she's somebody in the audience that was famous, you know? Hmm. Maybe not. Uh, who's famous in a Lakers game? Everybody. It wasn't a Lakers game? Everybody. It wasn't a Lakers game. That's off season now.

Oh, I think it was a different game I saw, but Minnesota maybe, but she, so you got your eight foot unicycle, which you're very used to. She's just doing the old back and forth, which when I wrote a unicycle, that's what I start my show with a little like zip, zip, zip, zip, just to be like, I've seen it. I've seen it. Seen it a million times. And then, um, and then she's still got to go to the dishwasher and get all the plates to throw.

So I thought it was mid plates because that's the hard part. She throws plates up like a bowl and then the bowl ends on the bowl. The cheese was plates flying all over the place. Yeah. This part wasn't the hard part is what I'm getting at. So, you know, bless her heart. And everyone was like giving her like applause for getting up and being wheelchairs off because she is like legendary performer for these games.

All right. You know, you start out, you're probably just a little girl. You, you ride a bike with two wheels and, and then your dad makes a one bike unicycle and you do that, but it's kind of low and you're probably just a little girl. You ride a bike with two wheels and then your dad makes a one bike unicycle. You do that, but it's kind of low and you're going through grade school and stuff. And then eventually like when you're like 18 or something, you put one bowl on your head, you do that for an afternoon. And next thing you know, I mean, I guess you had like, she'd have like 25 plates on the unicycle and then she'd juggle and eat an apple at the same time. How far does it go? It's all those things where you're like, how did that start?

Where you put the dog's dish on your head and you go, hey, that didn't fall off. Let me put two. And you go, maybe this is my calling. But I think she makes a pretty tidy living. She's famous. Yeah. Let me ask you a question. Please.

Because we, in the standup world in the early days, did you ever follow a juggler? Ron Perlman, is that his name? Yeah. Yeah, a couple. You know, at the Comedy Magic Club, you would always follow a magician, which is tough too. But jugglers, yeah, they're good. Yeah. Did you?

I followed Michael Davis, who're good. Yeah. Did you? I followed Michael Davis who became famous. I came up and stand up with him, a friend of mine. We were playing Chico and he would literally escalate to the point where he'd have an apple, a bowling ball, and a moving chainsaw and he's going like this and eating the apple. He doesn't eat the machete. he doesn't eat the machete. He doesn't want to eat the machete. Yeah, just going around.

So it's unbelievable. The whole crowd is stunned and massive standing ovation. And I'm not on TV or anything. Welcome. Here is Dana Glarko. I'm like, hi everybody. That was tough to follow that. Hi, I'm from San Francisco. Well, San Francisco area. Why am I talking like that?

I was 25 years old. Kind of like Garth. Hi, everybody. I can't juggle anything, but right now I'm going to eat an apple. I'm good too, right? But I put my hand in my pocket and play pocket pool sometimes. Why? And my wiener.

Yep. Oh, now you're happy. Yeah. Let me see. It took us nine minutes. We got to it. We got to it. All right. Next clip. Clippy.

Pocket. Pocket pool is the greatest term no one uses anymore. Okay. Oh, this is sad. This is a guy that got scammed out of money by Jennifer Aniston said she loved him and needed cash for her Apple subscription. That's what she needs it for. Oh, he should have a quick Google. We'll say she's worth about $200 million. I know how, how did who, do we see a picture of who believed it or just the helmet on the box? It looks like a robot.

Oh, so what, oh, what happened was. Oh, okay. Now, listen, I know Jennifer a little bit and she has hit me up. She said for money, for angry birds, because she wants more bird bombs. I'm like, these aren't necessities. If you need money, I'll give you money, but it's not going to be for. Angry birds or Apple subscriptions. It's ridiculous. So did he, was this just in print or was there a digital copy of a copy of Jenner for Anderson?

I think AI, your favorite, Jennifer Aniston was like, hello, kind sir. Please send me money so I can get Apple news. Every time I click a story, it says you have to buy it. It's almost as bad as Daily Mail. Well, AI is better than that. You're back at the Marionette. You're like in the 1930s. Hello, I'm AI.

I could be a digital copy right now. Not gonna say, but it's that good. Here's how good it is now. Hi, I'm Jen Braniston. It's got a few glitches. I played Rachel. Yeah, I would like money. I need money.

I'm Rachel. Please, please. Send me some shit. I love you so much. Send me money, please. Oh, I forgot. I totally love you. But I have Send me money, please. Oh, I forgot. I totally love you. But I have people that go, please, like, no joke, Dana, on Instagram or...

No joke. I do have a Facebook, but the people that send in like, hey, you never showed up in Spokane at like some restaurant we were supposed to meet at midnight on New Year's Eve. And I sent you your plane fare. I did everything right. What happened? Like, why suddenly is the real guy getting it now? Complain to the fake guy.

Like now, so you must know I'm the real guy because then you come to me, is this really you on the other one saying, cause I've been giving you money. I'm like, now you ask? You should have asked early on. And I say in my bio, which is boring, this is the only one I have. It's real. The other ones are fake, but people still get scammed. I don't know what's going on.

It's only going to get worse. I mean, for sure. I, Amazon has more AI, like people working in their factory, a million of them, you know, carts that are intelligent. They have a million of them. You know, carts that are intelligent. They have a million of them, more than employees. Eventually, if you and I go out to dinner in a given time, I'll have to really say, is this you or an AI robot?

And you will say, Mm, yes. Why are you Yoda? Cause he's like a little robot. It's me. Can't you tell? Wait a minute, the voice is off. Yeah, try. I used to be able to do it with Yoda.

I can't do it anymore. There's no try. Only do. First comes pain. Then comes suffering. Then comes party time. Yoda told me, first comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes baby and a baby carriage., first comes love, then comes marriage,

then comes baby in a baby carriage. I go, you're just reading like an old joke book. First comes David and Susie sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Yeah, exactly. And that's not all. Yoda said quickly. Diarrhea. People think it's funny, but it said quickly, Diarrhea.

People think it's funny, but it's really hot and runny. That's not, I mean, who says that? What people? By the way, there was a lot of YouTube comments that thought your plant was fake behind you. That's crazy. Why would anyone? That's not AI, that's real.

Yeah, that's a real plant. Look, it gives it a few flicks. Look at that. Okay, okay, that's too much proof, too much proof. From jungles and vomit comes. Oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Sounded like Scooby. Oh, boy. Oh, boy, bub daddy. Bub daddy, bub daddy Scoob got away with most of the things, but he still says they were, he was, what was it? Buf daddy. Buf daddy, buf daddy Scoob got away with most of the things, but he still says they were, he was, what was it? Transporting a prostitute. We better go Scoob.

Zoinks. He says zoinks sometimes Scooby. Yeah. He goes, Shaggy goes, 50 cent calls him the gay John Gotti. That's what he calls him. 50 cents been all over him the gay John Gotti. That's what he calls him. 50 cents been all over him. The whole trial on Instagram. Just busting his balls.

It's amazing. Heather falls. It's amazing. What, why, why 50 cents? I think he doesn't like him. So he just. So he's hilarious. I just thought it's so good.

It is sounds funny. It sounds funny, but the trial, we don't really know where it's at. We just heard that he's not getting bail. Is that what you heard? I don't, I hope he's contrite and learns his lesson, but he sent me an email from prison inviting me to a freak off in about a month. So I'm not sure he's learned his lesson. If, unless it says G rated freak off, I'm not going.

But I think if you get a freak off now, and I've said this and everyone's quoted me, if you go male or female to a freak off, cause he's going to have another, if he gets out, he'll probably have one. And then you know what you're getting. So there's no arguing, there's no suing. It's like, Hey, I know what I'm signing up for. We all know what they are now. So if you go, might be some water sports. Stay away from the freak off.

That's all I can say. Stay away. Just go to a nice cocktail party, casual dress or derv served. Or go to like a nice normal daytime freak off. Don't put these in. Okay, what else? Next story, let's see what's going on. I have all the answers, Dana.

Obviously you hear all the answers I have. You kind of do. This man swiped right two million times on Tinder in five years and could only get one date. Oh. What a bummer. Oh, man. Why, he seems like a normal enough dude.

Yeah. What was his problem? Was he swiping with his ass? He looks like Bert Kreischer. He looks like every guy at the airport I saw last week. I mean, there's nothing wrong with this dude. And he's a nice dude. He'll take you on a date.

I'm really pulling for this guy. He likes to like. Kevin Nealon is happily married. I don't even know why he's doing this. Does that look like Nealon? No. That's the funny part. That's funny.

Oh, it's not even about this guy. It's about Nealon. Yeah. Yeah. So this man, first of all, I don't like that he's counting every time he swipes. I mean, does he do it with the sticks for four and the line across the bar? How long does it take to swipe two million times? I mean, I've seen videos where people just go like this, yes, yes, yes, yes on every

one and just see, I mean, that's not the way you're supposed to do it. The first comment says, you missed two's not the way you're supposed to do it. The first comment says you missed 2 million of the shots you don't take. That's Gretzky. Gretzky commented that. So I've never been on Tinder. So you're swiping your pictures shown to someone and then they either invite you. You say yes or no. So one way is yes. I don't know which way, but one way is yes. But the other comment was, if I had a dollar for every girl that didn't think I was attractive,

they would now find me attractive, because he'd be rich. That's a thinker, Dana. A lot of these comments are thinkers. I just feel sorry for the younger generation. I think that the opportunity en masse online and with these dating sites to get wounded and feel bad is quantum. Yeah.

And when you're, it's very rare I'll see a guy in a bar just walk up to a table full, hey gals, walk up to a table full of girls. How are you gals doing? They're like, huh? What? I just want to say hi, buy you a drink, hang out. Can I grab a chair, scooch in? Those days aren't over, but they're diminishing.

Don't you think Heather? 100% until this last couple seasons of Love Island and guys are now going up to girls in bars and saying, can I steal you? Oh yeah. And it's working. Well, yeah, because even the bachelor, when they walk up, go, can I steal you? Oh yeah. And it's working. Well, yeah, because even the bachelor, when they walk up, go, can I steal you?

And now they say, can I pull you for a chat? Which is basically everything's based on Love Island right now. So, Love Island, and I've seen those videos where they say it. But it's really tough to just talk in real life and it's easier to get rejected, you know, through texting or Instagram DM or something.

So, cause there's no witnesses and they don't have the whole bar go, you were hitting on her and she shot you down. So that's kind of where the world's at. When I was probably 19 or 20, pre-standup, you up, I just went to like a place where people would dance or something in music, and was so terrified and finally got the courage to ask someone to dance and they're like, no. I know.

And you're like screaming jokes in a bar and it's not working. You're like, here's Dana. If Dana was single, here's what he would be today. Walk up to a girl, she's playing pinball or whatever you do in a bar. And you go, he goes, hi, I'm Dana. Are you on TV? And she goes, no, and you go, oh wait, that's me.

Hi, I'm Dana. Anyway, what's the high score? This would be you at a singles bar now. Hi, how are you? I'm David Spade. I know Dana Carvey. Oh, that's Dana. They light up.

They light up. I try all these lines, nothing, then I go, I guess I'm gonna leave, I gotta go meet Dana. Dana Carvey? You mean Garth? I'd get more. Yeah. I start to leave. You know, the bitch and I go, the church lady, you know about that? The bitch.

Know about it. I lived it. Where are you going? Why are you leaving? Oh, let's FaceTime Dana. But for a second, like that guy, if it's real, it seems like what would, what would be David's makeover to him? Cause if that's his picture, don't women like bad boys? Even if you're not a bad boy, try to get a picture where you look a little. Badass.

Yeah. I don't know if they like trout boys, guys that are always fishing, showing their fishes. He had it like a fisherman's bucket hat and he's by the sea. It's a lot of me and my fish and the girl's like, I mean, great, but that's not really, I'll go to sushi. I'm going to try that with my wife. Hey, could I steal you?

Can I steal you for a second? She goes, yes, it's only me and you and Alice. You're like, can I steal you and talk I steal you for a second? She goes, yes, it's only me and you and Alice. You're like, can I steal you and talk to you outside for a second in private? Well, I hate that. Hey, do you want the rest of my banana? That's a good line. You go, Hey, do you want the rest of this banana? I was actually on a date and this happened twice and I had ordered something and then

I didn't eat a lot of it and she was like, it looks good. And I go, Oh, do you want the rest of it? Because I was done. She was, I don't want the rest of anything. I'll get a new one. She's a keeper, ma'am. I was like, you're not a keeper. You're a loser.

I'm gonna lose you right now. Anyway, go ahead. You're back to your banana because I'm boring you. Look, I zoned out about six minutes ago on what we're talking about. Love Island, you were like this. Never seen it, lived it. It's okay, let's hear another story.

Audience is not bored. Oh, this woman is sitting there in like a Laura Ingalls Wilder dress with pants on under it, I think. My family of six shares a poop knife. Interesting. What's a poof knife? Let's find out. Poop knife. Interesting. What's a poof knife? Let's find out. Poop knife.

This is the one that we have. We keep it in our vinegar bucket. Vinegar bucket? Sticks? This is what you wipe with instant toilet paper. The wetness is soaking into vinegar. Okay, I see it. You can't unsee it. How sharp is this crocodile dundee? Don't put your fingers in the water. Good cutaways. I know. Cutaways sellium. Really. Get the poop in. This is our number two xylospongium. This one's a little bigger and it has handle.

Okay. I'm instantly sick, Heather said. You know, just the idea of a poop knife is fine. I don't need to see how sharp it is, how it soaks in vinegar and how you sticks your hand in the water. How big are your shits when you need a sharpened buck knife? Well, here's my question. Was the woman doing all the

shush shush shush knife and all that stuff? Was she doing it as a comic bit? I mean, I don't know. She looks she's got the plane It's very real. Yeah, very straight. Yeah, and that makes it funny, but I just wonder if you know I don't know. It feels like it's real the poop knife and She either does know it's embarrassing and it's funny or she doesn't but whoever maybe took that video and added in the reactions was funny. The cat, although especially the first one, they had a female doll. It was a Barbie dog on horror film or something. Yeah. Got a laugh out of Heather for sure.

Uh, but you know, so just maybe poops knives should be our merch, but that's not for sure, but we haven't decided yet. Hmm. Hmm. Yeah. Slice in the new poop knife, slice and dice, all new poopy knife. Take a piece of poo and slice and dice is just that easy. Are your poops too long and unruly? I've never had a problem where they're like, this one's not gonna make it.

I need either like a smasher, like you do with potatoes. Well, now I can bring in my very quick insert of my character, Red, Red Necky, the Red Necky comedian. Two kind of scatological jokes. He's supposed to be the worst Southern comic in history. Yep. Very funny. I'm red, red necky, the red neck comedian. You ever fart so loud, dog, two state away, go,

what that? Come and get some. I'm red, red necky, the red neck comedian. You ever crap so big, you don't know gonna get down that turlet? Come and get some. That turlet. He does get some. That turlet. I just gave it to you. He does have a good catchphrase. Come and get some is great. It's positive. You actually wanna get through the jokes

so we can get to that. I think it's all about the catchphrase. I wanna do that in a prosthetic thing and it doesn't look like me and I'm kind of a big guy and go on stage and do a hundred of those jokes in a row. No, we'll do it for one of our anniversary shows. We'll make you get all into it. I'm kind of into like, instead of stand up, like going out in characters now.

That's kind of going through my head. Listen, stand up is not hitting a saturation point, but when I'm on the road and they're like, Nikki Glazer is coming next week. And then here comes Segura, Theo three weeks later. And I think there's just not enough money to go around in some of these cities where these cities have a lot of rabid comedy fans that mean well and want to come out. But it's not the improv. I mean, we're coming to theaters, you're paying a lot. And then there's a concert, you know, and then a band. And just band and just to be entertained is I'll admit because I'm part of the problem or the solution, whatever, whatever it is, I'm one of these people out there on the road, but it's

gotta be tough. So I appreciate when they come out because coming out to a show, you get a babysitter, it's just a lot of, Oh, the ticket price, the whole thing, you know, play Great Falls, Montana, you know, play where not everyone's going. Right. But as far as standup, it's a person with a mic and it's taking an oath of laughs per minute.

It just seems kind of fun to shake it up rather than the guy who's got his elbow on the mic. What's up everybody? Ha. Is that my eye? I'm masturbated in front of my cat today. That's my eye. You don't do that joke, do you?

I lean and that's what I start with. You're describing me exactly. Oh, Hey, what's up? Oh, I can't even do you now. Now I come out with a lady. I come out and I go, and then I wait for everyone to calm down from the thunderous applause and then a lot of the people go, you don't have to say anything. We're just glad you're here.

We just like being with you in the room. We just want to just, just let it sink in. And then they go, do your act if you want, but we're fine. We already hit the price of admission from your first joke. Now it's gravy. I'll tell you the sickness I have is I just- What's your sickness? Well, it's crazy.

After how long I've done this, I'm still dancing for my donuts. I still, whether it's a corporate date, a theater, a comedy club, only if it's like a 15 seater, I take the oath of, I must kill. And yeah, I was just trained because in my twenties, you felt it was a dog eat dog. You're the MC, you're the opener, you're the middle, and you have to always kill, kill, kill to get the headliner. And then if you don't kill and the other guy kill, you know, so it's, it's, uh, you're, you know what I mean?

A, the whole thing from the beginning, everything's an audition, every tiny club, someone saw you, hey, I saw him the other night. It was four people in the audience. He did great. Great jokes. Those, that travels around. So you have to always say, I have to try this one, try this one. And then you, a middle act and you want to be so good that they say you should headline.

And when you're a headliner, the middle acts are so good. You have to be better than them so they don't flip flop you. Exactly. They don't put you in the middle. And then when you get to these gigs where they're paying, no matter what they're paying, a little or a lot, you go, I have to kill. And even when I'm doing, I say even,

but corporate gigs are usually harder, but I always want to kill. It's the same thing. I go over my notes, I go over this, I go, I don't want to just walk through it. You're like, God, I got it. Now, if I don't, I don't, but I'm definitely take it seriously. Any of these gigs, gotta take it seriously.

So that's why the only thing that's pure fun to me was I was telling Bobby Lee, the Comedy Store, when it's packed and you've got eight comics up there, it feels like pressure. But if I go, so I would go to the Ha Ha Cafe sometimes and I would go to the Ha Ha Cafe sometimes, and like Saturday at 7 p.m. in the valley, and be like 20 people there. Just enough to get a reaction, but then you just have your notepad, and you're just really trying stuff,

and you're making fun of it if it bombs. That's very enjoyable to me. That's usually the fun part, because it's very real, you're into it. And you don't have to get huge laughs. You can just try, try anything you want. Your buddy Bobby Lee is on this week on the show. Very sweet, funny guy with a great laugh.

Hilarious. We had such a blast. He'll be on in a couple of days. All right, next story and then we're going to do some Q and A questions. Okay. Okay. You know what Labubu's are Dana? Of course not.

Labubu is another random dopey doll that looks like a cabbage patch. The doll maker becomes China's youngest top 10 billionaire. Wow. 22 billion in this year. I'm sure it's just this year. It's 38. Why this little boo boo? I saw some like hanging monkey dolls I was going to post at the airport and

they kind of look like this. Nobody cared. No one gave a fat fuck. I'm like, they're like, we're hanging. We do more than a little boo boo. We're actually a little cuter. They're a little softer. It doesn't matter. They like what they like.

Well, first of all, this essentially looks to me like it's in that three to nine year old area, predominantly girls probably. You wish. That have to have it. nine year old area, predominantly girls probably. You wish. Have to have it or who's the audience for this? I think it goes up to adults. I hate to say. Like would, Heather, would you want someone to give you that? I'll admit I have fallen for stupid things like this before, but this is

beyond my comprehension and Dana full, full on influencers, adults are like staying up online at night to get these things. And there's dupes going around called LafooFoos. Yeah, don't go, don't fall for the dupes, Dana. Well, back in the day, there was Pokemon cards. Sure. Goofy cards, and eventually it was a million dollars for a certain card.

So it's just, but that guy got 22 billion and I've done pretty good in life. I just think people are working regular jobs would just be annoyed by that. Yeah. I'm annoyed by them. I'm annoyed by how much I don't like the doll. I don't like the guy. I don't like the 22 billion. I love the story.

It was entertaining. The rest of it. Yeah, I'm with you because they just showed some NFT that sold for 60 million and it's worth under a hundred dollars now. Well, that whole phase of the NFT stuff, it was a gold rush and now you're literally they lost 60 million. That's one of the only things that I've said. I don't get it. I don't want to get involved. Yeah.

Didn't Justin Bieber buy something like a picture of an ape smiling or something? Yeah. Or NFT. Everybody did. I mean, all those rich people did, and they all got fleeced. Uh, damn, I hope Bitcoin is not one of those things. I know they all got rinsed. My favorite words.

Uh, okay. So what's the next one? And then we'll do a question. One more story than a question. One more story. Here we go. More story. Uh, oh, this is toe wrestling. Have you ever seen toe wrestling in a bar? Nope. They got to hook your toe like that. Yeah. I wonder, oh, put powder on. I wonder what the hard part is. Is it your quads or is it your actual ankles got to be strong? Can't beat a girl.

Toe till destruction. It's your whole lower chain. I mean, you need the leg, knee, calf, especially. God, your kneecap could rip. Yeah. How do you win? Are you pushing off? I don't know if I want to pull my pants up over my calves.

Well, what if you just scooch forward and pull them off? Is that Stephen Greer? Yes. I don't like his third toe being the longest toe that guy. Sick. Yeah, this is, it's not aesthetically pleasing. It's not. That looks like a wiener. How do you win? Oh, you push them over the red line. I think you either have to tap them into that wall. That's coming off. So you know, just their ankle, ankle strength has to be really strong and your toes. Toe, muscle, ankle muscle.

You're right. Not your calves, but your knee, your quads. One guy's big toe is gnarled down like he chewed it. Some people chew their toe nails. How can society top this? We've had arm wrestling, we've had the slap thing, now we have toe wrestling. What's next, David? I like slap fighting where it's an immediate CTE.

It's just like, you go, oh my God. Oh my God. I do one, you put them in opposite orthodontist chairs and call it dental work and each one tries to pull a tooth or the other one first. Yeah. I could see if they said, we'll pay someone to just pull a good tooth. We've pulled the tooth. Can we watch everyone watch you?

Yeah. Welcome to all new pull a tooth. I'm Rob Lowe. See who can pull the tooth the fastest. All right. Well, let's take some questions. We threatened to take questions from, we gave a website. What is it Heather?

Odyssey. We're branching out in our news, our new reboot. If it goes well, we'll do more. We'll see if these questions are worth it. We're branching out in our news, our new reboot. We'll see if it goes well, we'll do more. We'll see if these questions are worth it. We want to interact with you. We want to know who you are. Yeah, so let's see. Are they audio or are they... Hey guys, Dante Carter here. I don't know if you guys remember me,

but I was on the podcast over a year ago. I did the Barack Obama impression. I'm back in my car. I'm going to pause again so David can make fun of me again for it. Oh, David by the way, I want to say thanks for featuring me back then because I was able to pick up some stand-up gigs Off of that. I'll then know you you're cut but I do have a question I just started a new podcast where I interview other entertainers while I'm on my way to and from my stand-up gigs I'm on my way to and from my stand-up gigs. Oh Is that the logo? How did I get there? That's so embarrassed. I'm sorry about that guys But I was wondering if you guys knew how to get better guests and how to grow that page I'm really working on growing it if you guys have any advice on how to grow that page

Aside from getting on SNL and then making movies that make millions That's I have one for me right now But if you guys have any suggestions on getting better guests and how to reach out to those guests and how to grow the page, that would be really great. Thanks guys. My first blank is go harder at the cowardly lion motif like that. It is a definite cowardly lion from Wizard of Oz. Go at that. Call yourself the lion maybe. Or get what someone looks like, the Tin Man. Or get a Dorothy co-host. Well, Oz never did nothing for the Tin Man that he didn't

already have. Yeah, I never got that. Who sang that? I never got that, but I get it now. The raspberries. I don't know. Bread or something give none. It wasn't stealing bread or something. Yeah. I could think of it. Well, this gentleman, he does it in his car. I don't know. Are you allowed to do it in your car like that? I don't think you're allowed.

Well, he's going to want to get guests in his car. Like they would zoom in and he'd be driving. I don't think they sit in the car or they're on the phone. Like maybe if he did on speakerphone, maybe because you know, in Arizona, there's a no touch phone law as of July 1st, you can't even touch your phone if you're on a map or anything. So just, you can't have your phone. So it would hurt his show, but, uh, I don't think he's in California.

So, okay. I don't have great advice. It's hard, you know, I, I'd say get quirky guests. If you're not getting famous, you would just get quirky weirdos because weirdos are funny. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

Um, jugglers started with weirdos and he, you know, you have like a snake wrangler and whoever just somebody's got interest in someone. And if you're going to a club in some small town, you just talk he, you know, you have like a snake wrangler and whoever, just somebody's got an interest in someone. And if you're going to a club in some small town, you just talk to, you know, a guy in the street or a bartender or anything like that. I mean, think of Tom Green or something back in the day. Yeah, I think that's right. Make it quirky and different. And then clip those things and throw them out all over the web. But what was the name of it again?

It's called it accidentally popped up. Remember detour or something. Heather, you remember? Oh yeah. Well, then it just said, um, okay. On the road to Dante Carter. It has to just be like a travel log of meeting quirky people. Yeah. On, on the road to Dante Carter. It has to just be like a travel log of meeting quirky people on the road. And maybe they have sex in the back seat.

Only if things are slowing down. Okay, that's a possibility like in OnlyFans. It all goes back to OnlyFans. That's where the money is, my God. Okay, next question. I'll read the second question, and the email is flyonthewallatodyssey.com. This is from Marie.

Hi, Dana and David. I love your show. Here's a topic for Shaggy News. A military task force is sent to investigate the nuclear site in Iran. The team includes Scooby, Shaggy, Burt Lancaster, Kirk Douglas, Lorne Michaels, and Dennis Miller. Jesus.

I guess I'll let you take this one, take a sip and a bite of your banana. I still need Scoob in there. Oh yeah, okay, I'll be there. Okay, who were the other three? Okay, I got you. Burt Lancaster, Dennis Miller, and Lorne Michaels. Well, geez, Scoob, I can't believe we're going back to Tehran.

We gotta see if Mount Forto can still make a bomb. Right, Scoob, I can't believe we're going back to Tehran. We got to see if Mount Fordo can still make a bomb. Right, Scoob? Let's ask. Let's ask Dennis Miller. What do you think? Mine isn't as thinky as yours. I don't have to do that. For Christ's sakes. I mean, I don't know how you can top three bunker busters. You know, that's almost a hundred thousand pounds of TNT going in there.

Right, Lauren? Um, it's that thing of like the bunker buster does its job, but you still have to make sure that it actually worked. Right, Burt Lancaster? I'm telling you, I think he took the mountain down. What do you think, Cuck? I believe you destroyed the whole moon. I like mountains that are destroyed. Well thanks guys. Thanks for being on Shaggy News. Close us out, Scoob. You did all the fun.

I like that was the news story. That was a news story. Wasn't it Shaggy News? I did like that Shaggy just goes down the fun. I like that was the news story. That was a news story. It wasn't Shaggy news. I did like that Shaggy just goes down the line. Over to you, Kirk. Well, you had all your reporters in there. Probably six of them. I could have done Tom Brokaw too.

Here we are at Mount Forto. What's it called? Mount Forto? What? Forto? I don't know. Here we are in Iran where a mountain was blown to pieces by a bunker buster bomb. I'm Tom Brokaw in Iran. I had a bunker buster at Dairy Queen. You had a bunker buster last night and you're sitting on the toilet.

See, thank you. You can get there. You're just as bad as me. Oh yeah. I like the scat. Okay. Should we do one more before we close out? Everyone's a very important.

Everyone's learned. Okay. That's it for today, you guys. Thank you so much. We are wrapping. I hope you had a good 4th of July and, um, yeah, yeah. I hope it was, um, fourth Tastic.

I hope it was. I, I hope you saw all the pistol peets or what are they called? Peets? What cones? Peets. I hope you had a great firecracker weekend. May the July 4th be with you. Now you tweeted on Monday after the fourth of July weekend. Your words not mine that David Spade tweeted out this fourth

of July weekend quote, suck your words, not mine. David's fucking eyes. That's like ending with a home run. That guy is always home run. We got to, if we can get Senator John Kennedy on our show, he's always invited. Oh, maybe we should.

Well, let's ask him for next week. Because he would come on and read a few. It's Vegas, Dallas. He has so many and he's loaded up sometimes. He's got them ready to go and they're funny. Oh man, him with P. Diddy would have been incredible. Now you had 1,000 bottles of baby oil in your house. Is that correct? How many can you go through in one day? I go through one in a decade. What was the purpose of a thousand bottles of baby oil? You don't know? You just sort of had them. Is that your answer? Is that story going to stick to it? Okay. That was great. Thank you, Dana. I'll let you get back to your banana situation and thanks for joining me on the show.

Thank you. This has been the Dana Carvey Podcast. My guest today has been David Spade from Joe Dirt and the wrong Missy. All right. Okay. See you next week. Hey, guys. the wrong Missy. All right, okay, see you next week. this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade,

Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung-Kaiser and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweetek. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry,

Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us at flyonthewallatodyssey.com. That's A-U-D-A-C-Y dot com.