Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Fortune Feimster

Episode Date: April 17, 2024

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Starting point is 00:00:00 All right. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. That's right. How is your social battery right now, Dana? Social battery is a little slow. I probably could kick it up a little bit, kick it up a notch. You're running at about 38% on your social battery. I'm not going to say 38, but I'm going to say it's over 30, less than 50. You do the math. When my social battery gets under like 70, I get nervous and have to plug it in. Right. You know, this summer you got to bring it because everyone's gonna be out and about.
Starting point is 00:00:29 You can kind of hide in winter, but listen, you got to, sometimes therapy is a way to get your thoughts together, juice up your battery and get back out there because a lot of that is social anxiety. Yeah. And it's all in your head. Everything starts there. And so with better help, you're going to get advice and get unstuck and start getting out in the world. And that's just good for your brain. Yeah, listen, whether you've been to therapy personally before, I think online is probably so much easier. Like I've been to therapy and just the fact that my biggest fear is like, I
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Starting point is 00:02:34 ON only. Please play responsibly. If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Bet MGM operates pursuant to any operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Up next today we've got Fortune Feimster who I have called Feimster and one of them is wrong.
Starting point is 00:03:02 I'm not going to tell you which one. I know. And I've called her Fartoon Feimster. I've called her Farttion. I did it as your brother. Fartoon. Fartoon. Our people worship you, Fartoon.
Starting point is 00:03:16 She's really fun. We've done a lot of stuff together. She was, as David would say, a blast. Yeah. She's a blast. She's light on her feet, laughs the whole time. We talk about a lot about standup.
Starting point is 00:03:27 We talk about closing bits, how you decide on a closer that's sort of inside baseball when people like that. We talk about butt massages, I think. We did, she told a very funny story about butt massages and there's a twist ending ending so stay tuned for that. Never see it coming, never. She was full of fun and joy.
Starting point is 00:03:50 We talk about naming our comedy specials, you know, we always, we talked to each of us about the name of the special and how the arduous process of a name that no one's going to remember anyway, naming tours, all that. Yes, and the process of building a new hour. She's one of those people again, that makes you a little bit like, Whoa, just can really get kind of a new hour and a period of a few weeks. New hour of standup is very hard, very hard for most standups. She's very quick.
Starting point is 00:04:20 She writes fast and she grinds it. She's in the road grinding it like Nikki Glaser. They're all out there grinding. Nate, these people are doing like a hundred dates a year. It's unreal. But anyway, here she is. I hope you enjoy it. We had a really, really good time with her. Here's Fortune.
Starting point is 00:04:35 Yes, she's adorable. Here she is, Fortune. Beamster. Is Fortune here? Yes. What was your nickname? Like, we're going right at it. Because Fortune is such a great name.
Starting point is 00:04:52 So nice to have you and thanks for coming on. Hi, Dana. We are not smart lists. So they're the Borg. We are the little engine that could. Nice to meet you. I'm just curious, right? Because I saw your name in print.
Starting point is 00:05:03 Fortune, like, hey, Fortune Cookie. I mean, what was it? What did they do with that? Because that's such a cool name. Yes, my family was big on Fortune Cookies. That was no of my. It's an old family name. My grandmother's mom, it's her maiden name.
Starting point is 00:05:24 So there's a bunch of fortunes in my family with the last name Fortune. Oh, and is that French? Oh, Sean, Sean, Sean. I don't know. I don't know. It was kind of a nod to my grandmother. I it's technically my middle name, but it's what I started to go by. It's such a good showbiz name. And, you know, if you do a special, your next one, maybe you call Fortune 500
Starting point is 00:05:52 minutes of comedy. That's what you call fortune cookie. And you make cookies while you do your stand up. That would be good. Although 500 minutes, I would need a lot more minutes. It feels long. Yeah, I might lose. lot more minutes. It feels long. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:06 I might lose some viewers. People jump off after about eight minutes of a special. I think I read that. If someone says to me one more time, you got to drop into the algorithm. You got to make peace with the algorithm. Fucking algo, guys. I'm so fucked about the algorithm. We're living with an algorithm.
Starting point is 00:06:23 I don't know. How are you trending? What's your numbers like? Feeling good? Oh yeah, I'm always trending. You're always shaking the tree. That's right. This tree right here.
Starting point is 00:06:36 Is that an office that looks kinda like, you look sorta like you're on a patio and you're outside. No, it's just a corner of my office. It's kinda cool, cause you have like boards instead of. Yeah. Well, this is I don't know. This is like the trend now in houses is to make a wall. I don't know, have like outdoor texture wall, a texture wall. It's not like spades with the with the skateboards on the wall.
Starting point is 00:07:04 If someone says texture texture to me again I'm gonna blow my top. I'm mad about algorithm is my number one hateful word. I don't really understand algorithms and why they... It's just because you're not a computer. They're like this is what we like. This is what people like feed your algo. I go I'm trying but I don't know what that means. The algo is mad.
Starting point is 00:07:29 The algo is mad. Well, one side is like, don't post too much. It's not good for the algorithm. And then the other side is like, you're not posting enough. The algorithm is mad. You're like, oh, my God. And don't delete one. If you delete one, the algo goes back to zero and you have to win it over again.
Starting point is 00:07:44 Really? Mm hmm. Oh, see, there's all these things. Another one is people say to me is don't look thirsty. Don't look too thirsty. Yeah. Don't do a byline on a clip that looks like you're kind of looking for clicks. It has to not look too thirsty. Is that the correct use of that, David? Can you say thirsty a lot?
Starting point is 00:08:02 It looks a little thirsty. Don't look thirsty. I want to see Dana start posting thirst traps. Yeah. Yeah. Dana with his shirt off working out. Hey man, give us what we want. Let's just put it this way. You saw the golden bachelorette.
Starting point is 00:08:18 I lived it. Yeah. That doesn't make sense, but it sounds funny. I'm doing two thumbs pointing to me. This point. No, I'm in good shape for the shape I'm in. Everything's fine. It's working. Don't Wikipedia my name, Fortune.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Fortune, you have a professional microphone. Is that part of the podcast situation you have right now? Yes. You have your podcast, you wanna promote it, don't you have one? Yeah, I have a podcast called Handsome with Tignotaro, myself and Maynard. That's right. I've seen that in the top 10. I mean, you guys are a hit, right? Yeah, it's crazy. We're about six, six and a half months in, eight million downloads. We're just being silly and
Starting point is 00:09:01 laughing and it's hard not to look at those charts. I know. So you're looking at what, six months, eight million downloads. Was that like seven, 750 a month or what is that? What's the algorithm? I used to be a CPA. I just like numbers. I'm not, I'm not going numbers, but yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:20 You're doing fine. It's really fun. We have somebody ask us a question. It kind of leads what the podcast is going to be about. And it's us just being ridiculous for an hour. Is that how it works? That you have a question and you run off that? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:34 Do you mind if we borrow that idea for our other podcast? Because we're fresh out of Bullets. So thank you. Let me write that down. Yeah, write it down. You just changed my life. Listen, the clip's been empty for a while, Dana. Let's be honest.
Starting point is 00:09:47 Take a question and do an hour of witty. Give us an example of something. You guys are doing more than fine. This podcast is always up there on the charts, baby. Right. Geez, I can't look because I'm too sensitive. We are up there, huh? Yeah, I don't look.
Starting point is 00:10:02 I don't look at anything. I love you guys together. This is a great combo. Well, we love you. Well, give us an example of like a question that you could jump off on. Oh God. Is it just something vague or is it advice?
Starting point is 00:10:18 Like Reese Witherspoon asked us like, what was your favorite holiday gift? And so we did that at Christmas. Colbert asked us like, do you have any woo-woo beliefs? Oh, you're asking celebrities. Oh, yes. Not just fans. Yeah, we know what anyone is asking.
Starting point is 00:10:39 No way. We don't wanna get ahead of ourselves, but what question would you ask our podcast, the Superlight, if you were going to ask a question, not saying we're going to use this, but what would it be? Well, because you guys come from rarefied air, I would ask some sort of SNL question. I would be like, you know, what was your, what was the hardest part of working on SNL or something like that?
Starting point is 00:11:01 Some inside baseball thing. Oh yeah. We get too inside actually. We're talking about every meeting and every office in that 17th floor. We have dissected. We have 150 hours of minutia. Well the meetings are on Monday with the hosts
Starting point is 00:11:17 and you know the rest of it. Did you ever have a thing about SNL being a cast member? Oh yeah, that was like my North Star forever. I grew up watching. I watched both of you guys. Huge, huge fan of both of you. And well, isn't that special? I mean, come on.
Starting point is 00:11:34 Church Lady was a part, a big part of my childhood. And doing doing your dance. I mean, you know, your dance. Yeah. With the elbows up. I don't know where it came from. I heard Steve Martin when he was on the show, when I was doing the read through, I heard him say under his breath, what kind of mind thinks of this? Because it was like you're bulbous, but it's you're not.
Starting point is 00:11:57 You know, but yeah, we're my guys. I mean, Wayne's world spade telling people bye bye. I mean, it was all of it. So my I'm from a tiny town in North Carolina. So that was my only access to comedy. And I would watch the sketches. I would record them on my VCR. And then I would go to like softball or tennis practice
Starting point is 00:12:18 and sort of recite these sketches for people. And then I ended up testing twice for SNL. 2009, 2010. Didn't test positive. It was a cool experience though. We get people who have that experience. And then I always say, God, there's so many inputs to being at the right place, the right time. It's not an outright rejection at all. It's literally people in the room going, oh, fortune was really funny and your cards on the board.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Yeah. But also Barbara was great or Bill, whatever it is. So did you did you feel hurt by not getting it? Were you close or what did you think? I mean, obviously that had been the dream for so long that not getting it was so disappointing. But I just now that I'm at the place I'm at in my life, I can see why it didn't work out. And I've weirdly enough gone on to work with so many SNL people, even doing Keenan sitcom.
Starting point is 00:13:20 I worked with Lauren. Oh, there you go. Well, that means they loved you from the audition. Yeah. Remembered you. I was with Lauren. He was the person that. Oh, there you go. Well, that means they loved you from the audition. Yeah. And remembered you. I was pretty green. I mean, I was in advance at the Groundlings when my first audition happened. So I hadn't even gotten the experience out of Sunday Company and doing sketches every week.
Starting point is 00:13:38 I feel like I might have auditioned maybe two years before I was really... No hard feelings. Am I just just fist bump? I would say that you're, because I saw your special and I would say there's that kind of, there's a likeability thing that happens with certain performers. I mean, I can see it when I look at certain people
Starting point is 00:13:58 like Steve Carell or whatever. Yeah. And you do have that. Oh, thank you. A big time. And it's very cool to see the audience so charmed by you in your special. And thank you. I appreciate that. You're essentially clean.
Starting point is 00:14:14 I mean, you're you're 99 percent right. And you're doing stuff about dodgeball and stuff. It's just sort of it's charming. But anyway, they blew it. Well, I didn't even you should go back now. I didn't even do stand up in my audition, which is wild to me now, because I do feel like stand up obviously is a strong point for me. Yeah. My first audition was all characters, and then I felt like I gave them
Starting point is 00:14:38 all my best characters. So my second summer, I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do now. I should have just done stand up. Well, could you comment on it? Would you share? Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, you do a few characters. But what, do you mind just telling us what the characters you auditioned with?
Starting point is 00:14:54 Well, it's funny, the first audition, I only had like, I got called at like 3 p.m. on like a Wednesday and they were like, can you be on a plane tonight? What am I, a booty call? They always do that. Yeah, it was crazy. They're like, can you be on a plane tonight?
Starting point is 00:15:10 And you're gonna audition at like noon tomorrow. So I was freaking out, but I almost like that better. I had less time to freak out. Yeah. Yeah, booty call back. My first audition actually, I thought went pretty well. I did Richard Simmons, obviously. Obviously.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Well, you look so much alike. I did a Hooters waitress that I was doing at the time. What was funny is that I layered my clothes. So I started with my regular outfit doing, I can't remember what characters I did. And then I ended with remember what characters I did. And then I ended with taking that top layer off and it was the Richard Simmons tank top. Um, that was then underneath. Um, that was a Hooters tank top.
Starting point is 00:15:57 Oh my God. By the end of the audition, I had a pile of clothes and I ended my audition and I did feel like a stripper that was like, okay, the lap dance is over. I'm gonna bring it up. Cause it is kind of quiet no matter who you are. It's just a few people. Oh good, okay.
Starting point is 00:16:14 You missed something. Your shoes are over there. Thank you very much. Yeah, there's like, you just see those three lamps in the corner, like in your, I'm gathering my clothes. Like, okay, thank you. Lauren, do you have any Tide Pods? So I'll never forget that part of it.
Starting point is 00:16:30 Did you have a ripcord at all or was it just sort of unbuttoned? It was just taking it off. No, Velcro. You weren't on the show yet. When you get on the show, it's all Velcro. Oh, and let me also add that I took my pants off because of course, underneath my pants were short shorts. Cause hello Hooters, what you're doing. Dedicated. So the pants didn't just come off?
Starting point is 00:16:51 You had to get on a chair and get them off? I had to take my shoes off, pull my pants down. It was a whole, I mean. Geez. That was kind of sexy. Dana, I hate Dana. How did I not get that job? That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:17:06 What I don't like, Dana, and this is not on the subject. When you're watching a porn, and I know you guys don't, but when you're watching a porn, everything's going great. Boring. And they're about to do it, and then they both sit down and start taking off their pants,
Starting point is 00:17:19 and the guy's gotta pull his Levi's over his shoes. I'm like, just take your shoes off. Like, ah. And then the saw, I'm like, and then he's, it's all stuck and he's got to sit down and he lays on the floor. I go, can we just trim this part? Like, I don't.
Starting point is 00:17:31 I love that you're analyzing. I'm mad, Damon. It has notes. I write in the comments at the bottom. I go, I liked it. I didn't. Yeah. I see easy trims.
Starting point is 00:17:42 Y'all go crazy. I'll put this image in your head, Fortune, because you like Wayne's world. So Mike had one of the best reveals ever. He was touring with me and he would come out as Wayne with the whole outfit on, do these jokes, it's killing anyway, and then Sprockets would come on and he had a spring mechanism that he suddenly, and then the wig comes off, his hair stuck back. So he's the German, he's Dieter, and he's strutting around with the music. And I go, fuck, I gotta follow this?
Starting point is 00:18:10 Yes! This is Frukitz. Wow. It would crush just the suddenness of... That is wild. Yeah. Hi, Mike, if you're listening. Yeah. Hi, Mike. I mean, you guys were the best.
Starting point is 00:18:22 That was... I mean, you are the best, but that was so I was just such a huge part of my childhood. I told you, Dana, Fortune is likable. So watch out. I know better watch out. I told him, watch out. Don't fall for it. Yeah. Fortune and I have worked on a few things and, you know, Fortune, you won't remember this, but we were on
Starting point is 00:18:46 this show called After Party. I do remember that. Okay. That was the year. That was the thick of COVID. Into the thick of it. Yeah. We were, you know, the funny thing about this was Dana, you knew Lights Out
Starting point is 00:18:57 because you did it and, uh, Fortune did it. And we had my favorite talk show. That show is so good. I'm intimate. Yeah. That show should still be on the air. You know, I do hear more. I've hear more about it after.
Starting point is 00:19:11 But when we were doing that, our old buddy and your buddy, Ted Sorrento's would come sometimes, right? He was just a comedy guy. So he would pop by. Netflix was close by. So anyway, so when we got, uh, uh, word fired as strong, uh, when we got COVID fired, it was really in a new boss and they said, we're going to get rid of everything, but the new regime.
Starting point is 00:19:38 Yeah. So he called and said, Ted called and said, Hey, would you, is there a way we could do that over at Netflix? Cause we did like that, you know? I think the stipulation was at the end, if you could interview someone from one of the Netflix shows for eight to 10 minutes after you do your panel, after you, you know?
Starting point is 00:19:56 And I'm like, well, yeah, because we were always looking for like a fourth act, like the closing act anyway. So it'd be like a monologue and then some comedians blabbing about shit. And then maybe we'd film something and then interview someone. I said, that's actually perfect. What happened was we got me, fortunate London in there, London Hughes, and
Starting point is 00:20:15 we had Bill Burr on the first one. And what happens is Ted hands it off and then it gets handed off. And then by the time we start shooting, It's not that it's not lights out anymore No, yeah, and unfortunately It just turned into Like an hour commercial for just for the people listening. So this was Ted got you two Together and then you were doing you're doing like sort of a show that was about Netflix shows Loosely, right?
Starting point is 00:20:45 It was supposed to be the same thing as Lights Out. Oh yeah. It was supposed to be Lights Out, then it turns into Entertainment Tonight. Yeah, it was originally supposed to just be comics, kind of do it, yeah, just like joking around with each other. Sitting around and doing what we do. And the first one they said, let's do Bill Burr and then someone from Netflix. And I'm like, oh, only one comic.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Okay, well, so it sort of just got changed. And you know, all those things are well intentioned, like who was in charge, the English guy, uh, and he said, well, we'll do this cause it works here in England. And then, and then the second show, how about no comic and it's that fast. We're like, wait, this is really different. So it was odd because spades, a very famous guy. You've been around like you're suddenly interviewing, like, state the wings.
Starting point is 00:21:35 So I love his blog. Why is fade? You know what I mean? It was like, what's happening? I didn't I didn't even claim to know enough about it. I go, maybe London should do this one because she's more into it. She knows things I don't know.
Starting point is 00:21:52 And I'm like, I don't even know what I'm doing. And I'm like, don't read the cue cards. I'm like, I don't know what show this is. I don't know. Babe would be like, so Jenny and Georgia, which one of you is Jenny? Which one of you is Georgia? I go, I've seen every episode. Now one of you is Jenny? Which one of you is Georgia? I go, I've seen every episode. Now which one's Jenny?
Starting point is 00:22:08 I go, oh you might figure that out after a few episodes. You've watched seven seasons, but that's your first question. I really did like Jenny and Georgia. That was a fun one because I did watch it. And she was a sweetheart. Yeah. But the farther it went along, I started whatever. I mean, there's no real blame. You didn't need to be interviewing people about your show.
Starting point is 00:22:30 I just turned to something else and it was well-meaning. I still like Lights Out-ish. I mean, maybe we'll do a panel show one day. It was fun to do, like, because in that we got to hang and laugh and it was during the thick of the pandemic when people weren't working. Yeah, I think that first episode did so well. It was like, the numbers were like insane that then they were like, whoa, wait, what?
Starting point is 00:22:55 And then a bunch of cooks were in the kitchen. Yeah, they go, if this worked, it would work even better if we changed it all. It would work. It works so well, we should change it a lot. Are you telling me, wait a minute, are you guys telling me that the suits of the hierarchy will take something that's working and inject their clueless ego and destroy the souffle? Is that your premise? I'm saying it happens on every show and sometimes it works, sometimes it makes the show better. In this scenario, it didn't play to anything I did well,
Starting point is 00:23:25 so I'm gonna have to blame because I was half checked out going, I just don't, I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Like this is- It wasn't the show that you came in with that was working and was- I didn't do a monologue after a while. I didn't do any goofing on comedians anymore, so it just came.
Starting point is 00:23:43 Hi, I'm David Spade and tonight we talk to the cast of, mostly it's a new show and you go, I have to go watch it because we're telling everyone who these people are, you know, no one knows. You were basically Mario Lopez. Yeah. And you were- Who we love.
Starting point is 00:24:00 You and Maria Madunas. Who we love. Who are great at interviewing people. We love them very much. You're tremendous, sorry. The Karate Kid one was fun because we did a sketch about him. That was the-
Starting point is 00:24:10 With Ralph? With Ralph Macho? Cobra Kai, yeah. Yeah, Cobra Kai. Well, it sounds like a great show. I'm just gonna write down, reboot. What was the name of it? No need.
Starting point is 00:24:19 It was called, what was it? No need? No need? No need, I don't know. No, we're no need to reboot it. That's a horrible name for the algo. No need. That was called Afterparty.
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Starting point is 00:25:12 Please play responsibly. If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact CONNECTS ONTARIO at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to any operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Fortune, have you had that experience, sorry, just based on what, taking David Spade, really, really funny, all time funny, and then making him kind of the straight interviewer. Have you had experiences where they take you funny, funny, funny, and then somehow make you unfunny? They they kind of.
Starting point is 00:25:55 It happened to me a lot when I wasn't writing it. Yeah. But what was your worst experience in a show? And we want names. Gosh, I'm trying to. Or has it been a golden career? No names? Gosh, I'm trying to remember. Or has it been a golden career? No, I mean, there's definitely some misses. I mean, I definitely think...
Starting point is 00:26:11 So I went from... Mindy Project was my first series regular. I had just come off of Chelsea lately and loved it. And they wrote so well for me. I didn't have to think about anything. I literally just would show up. It was the best job. And then we went from that to a show called Champions that was on NBC
Starting point is 00:26:33 and same same group, similar group of people. But it was a new show, so it was trying to find its way. I definitely think that was a character. I didn't really know what that character was. And I was overacting and like intense. And I was like, oh, this is this is not working. You mean like you're trying to go for the laughs a little harder? Yeah, too. Still wasn't clicking.
Starting point is 00:26:59 Yeah, because I think because the pressure of it being a new show and we're like, where's the funny? I was trying to I was pushing too much. Yeah. And happens on stage with comics too, myself included, where when you're getting a tough crowd, you start to go bigger. You can't help, or you bring out the profanity. It's just so, or you speed it up.
Starting point is 00:27:18 There's so many classic things you do that are wrong. Yeah. The last one I did, it was, I only had one shot at it because the air conditioner went out the first night, you know, shooting a special. So then that wasn't usable because it was sweating, people were leaving. Oh no. So it's kind of like you work on something for six months,
Starting point is 00:27:35 you got one shot, here he comes. So very hard not to kind of push a little bit, but full circle back to your special, totally relaxed, didn't feel like you were recording. Was that what I seen was real? I mean, you didn't look like you're pushing at all. That's good. You felt I definitely get I don't get nervous, obviously, with live shows. I only get nervous when I'm filming.
Starting point is 00:27:59 So there is that pressure to be like, like you said, there's I got two shows to get this right. I've been touring for so long with this material. I don't want it like tonight to be like the dud. I think once I get I think I'm a little stiffer on the first show. And then if I get that, at least the beats down, then I'm like, oh, I have I have the baseline there. Now I can just be.
Starting point is 00:28:25 You can always pull those people at home. Don't know. You sort of usually combine the shows. Yeah. You do the same act twice. Then you go, that joke work better in here. The one about the propeller work better in the second show. And you kind of patch it together. But also, I think on mine, you know, mine, everyone had a mask on and I didn't know. So when I went out, the last one noticed a muffle.
Starting point is 00:28:48 And I'm like, oh my God, because the first thing you don't want to think when you after your first joke is, oh my God, they're a tough crowd. It's my crowd and they're tough. I'm having to win. I'm having to win over the people that already like me. Yeah, I'm winning over my own crowd that paid. And they don't. But after I got off, they go. Yeah, I'm winning over my own draw the pain. That's so bad. And they don't, but after I got off, they go,
Starting point is 00:29:07 God, it was tough because they were all muffled. I go, oh, they were with the N95, like super non-laugh muffler, yeah. Killing killer. And then I knew it second show. You couldn't see it from the stage that anyone? No.
Starting point is 00:29:20 You're like, I don't want to look at anyone. And then I'm like, why? And then I thought, God, why is this so tough? And, you know, you can't fix it and tweak, but you want to just be loose and be like, the other night I went on in Santa Rosa. I'm like, this is such a fun show. I knew before I walked on, the crowd was good.
Starting point is 00:29:36 I go, I wish I was taping tonight. It just. Yeah, that's the best, best theater I've ever played. Is that really used to be the Luther Burbank? And now it's called Wells Fargo or something like that, right? I think Luther Burbank is still in the title. Oh, it's in Santa Rosa. Oh, you have to play that place because it's based on a church
Starting point is 00:29:53 and with the balcony, it's sort of a half cylinder. And if you talk about Feng Shui of rooms, right, David? It's 1600, but it plays like a club. It's really, really... The balcony is up on your sides also, it's not just in the back And so everyone's on top of you kind of it just has that quality. So yeah, I'm gonna call my agent After I get off this and what would be good for you to play a Saturday in Santa Rosa? Yeah, let me know dude watching grinds out the gig. You are you are watching Carines Out the Gigs.
Starting point is 00:30:25 You are kicking it. I saw your schedule. You don't look tired. I am tired. Both these tours have been back to back and have been over a hundred cities. Fucking A, Richie Rich. Wow. And I film FUBAR with Arnold in between the two tours.
Starting point is 00:30:47 So I never had a break since the pandemic. We're going to put a hammock on the set. A skull. Come on. Fortune. Yeah. Fortune. You know, she get that actress with the name and it brings good fortune. That's why we hired her. And she's happy and smiling and we do the shots. And then we were ready for the premiere with Ted
Starting point is 00:31:08 Sarandos At one point Hans and Franz Hysterical yeah, yeah, you're I mean you're you're doing incredible your standout you got blue bars You got shows seems like you you're on a roll for the last many years. I mean, congratulations. That's all I'm saying. It doesn't always go perfect. Like, it's awesome.
Starting point is 00:31:30 I just work my butt off. I just, I don't ever stop because, you know, as all of us, you know, have that fear of like what's going to happen that time when people don't want to come, you know, so. There's no real demand for us. That's the thing. I guess if I stopped, I wouldn't be like, OK, yeah, I was like, bye. So, yeah, I just grind because, you know, I just I do enjoy it.
Starting point is 00:31:54 And there is that fear of like, when will this stop? So let's go. Oh, I'm you're you're young and yeah, go for it. I I'm just curious, do you have a name? Because David, what's the name of your tour? I think they're you're young and yeah, go for it. I I'm just curious. Do you have a name? Because David, what's your name of your tour? I think they're kind of funny. Well, this is a good question because I was also going to say when you do a hundred at a clip, do you flip the whole hour or what?
Starting point is 00:32:16 What is yours? When I at the end of this tour? Yeah, like when you did your first hundred shows now, do you have to wait and then you start over and flip the whole hour or do you do a combo play? No, I do the I do the tour like hundred cities, however many shows, 150 shows, film a special way. Some of those some of those cities, not many might be right after. Some of those, some of those cities, not many might be right after. And then I go off the road for a couple of months, right?
Starting point is 00:32:52 Start doing like local shows. Then the special comes out. OK. Then then I do some clubs to work on that new stuff. And I tell people this. I'm working. I'm working it out. They love that. Yeah. You know, they'd love it. And then, so say if the special came out in like October, I'm working clubs, November, December, January,
Starting point is 00:33:16 I'm starting a new tour, new hour. That fast? You get an hour that fast? That's so hard. That's what I've done. You're a machine. I did that. This will be my third hour in five years? That's so hard. That's what I did. You're a machine. I did that. This will be my third hour in five years.
Starting point is 00:33:28 It's so hard. People don't get how hard it is. They go, is it gonna be stuff I know? And I go, well, some people go on Instagram, you didn't even do those three jokes. Like, for your special. I go, I know, because half the people went new and half the people went old.
Starting point is 00:33:41 I don't know. They want to hear. Well, there are some jokes that people are like, will you tell that, you know, that one thing? So I was doing that early on. I was doing a joke or two from my sweet and salty special. And then now that I'm working, I'm filming in April, my next special.
Starting point is 00:33:59 Okay. So now I'm just doing what that hour is gonna be. Where are you gonna film it? In Seattle at the Moore. Oh, I'm going to Seattle. Yeah, it's fun. It's a really beautiful theater. It's like 1900 seats and three levels,
Starting point is 00:34:18 but all the levels are like right at the stage. So everything's very close. So the laughter is big and nice. So you've done three. I saw one. I hope I saw the latest one. I have two that are out and I'm filming the third one. Okay, on Netflix.
Starting point is 00:34:34 Yeah. And so do you have a name for your tour? Well, it really is hard to come up with those names. I did live, laugh, love, which is, you know, that classic sign in all your mom's, um, you know, kitchens or living rooms. Um, I just think that sign is so funny and I love that my mom's like, that's art. I'm like, you got it, sis.
Starting point is 00:34:57 It sure is. I've done live, laugh, do crack. No, I'm just, I'm just embracing the corniness of it. I guess. So you did sweet and salty. No, I think it's nice. Yeah. Sweet and salty.
Starting point is 00:35:11 Sweet and salty was my, but see, I never, the name of my tours don't ever end up being the name of my special. Oh, is that different? Wait, I don't know. Mine's catch me inside. Yeah. And my tour was called, I mean, my special was called, I don't know, mine's Catch Me Inside. Yeah. And my tour was called, I mean, my special was called.
Starting point is 00:35:28 I don't fucking know. What was it called? I don't remember. Heather, what is my tour called? Heather! Oh, what is it? Something problems? Some, oh, um.
Starting point is 00:35:44 This has been a running game. It years that he can't remember the name. Nothing personal. Okay. Nothing personal. It's so hard to remember. Because I do jokes about people. I did one about Stallone. I did one about...
Starting point is 00:35:56 All these people actually like and I do a joke. I'm like, wasn't that funny? And they're like, no. It's fucking mean. I go, no. No, I was just having fun. It's funny for me because I was just fun. And I was just, I was honestly just fun. Next time you're going to go get forward or whatever.
Starting point is 00:36:16 You're kind of from the South, maybe no North Carolina. I'm definitely from the South. North Carolina, North Carolina. I'm going there. How is that place? I'm going there. How is that place? I'm going there. You're going? When are you going? What's it called? The CPAC? D-PAC. That's in Durham. CPAC? I'm going to be in D-PAC in a couple weeks. Oh, you are? That's going to be great. Did you really graduate summa cum laude? This sounds like a lie. I did.
Starting point is 00:36:48 Jeez, no wonder you could do a new hour in eight weeks. Yeah, you're fucking Stephen Hawking. Yeah, right. That's what that one says. It was just, again, because I was an overachiever. Did you have six people in your high school? I, I'm from a small town for sure. It's like 10,000 people. Yeah. And then my college was small too. So, um, and still that's good on the resume.
Starting point is 00:37:13 Yeah. I mean, what the irony is I was working so hard in college to have a resume and then LA, no one cares. I know you went to college. Okay. What a loser. Yeah. You're a loser. I'm like, oh, so you're not dedicated to comedy because you didn't quit school. Unless you went to Harvard, no one cares in comedy that you went to college. They were all Ivy League at SNL.
Starting point is 00:37:40 A lot of the writers from Harvard or Brown or well, let's say Dartmouth. Yeah. And I went to San Francisco State. He went to Scottsdale Community College. Or Dumb Comics. It was great. Smart writers or dumb comics. That way to get combo.
Starting point is 00:37:53 Or it's just AA degrees from community colleges. You know, it's a trip I did. I sold a pilot and Tina Fey and Robert Carlock were the producers. This was a while ago. That's big. And, um, and they had a lot of the 30 rock writers because I co-wrote it with Matt Hubbard who, um, did 30 rock and they're all Harvard, they're all Ivy league guys and it is definitely like a different brain, the joke machine kind
Starting point is 00:38:22 of thing. I had not worked with people like that before. Well, they know all the references. They know French words. They know exactly what happened in the early part of the Civil War. They just have an educated pedestal to stand on. Early part of the Civil War.
Starting point is 00:38:39 Well, they would know what George Washington ate for breakfast. These guys are educated. Conan has a doctorate in comedy. I loved Fun Dip growing up. Yeah. Funions, Fun Dip, anything with fun I liked. Did you ever have a Fun Dip chunk?
Starting point is 00:39:02 What were your early stand-up? What are some of your, would you look back now that you feel are cringy or still special? Oh, I had a fun dip in a situation in my sweet and salty special. I oh and and that that one was about being on the swim team. I joined the swim team because I found out that the swimmers ate fun dip. And that was the only thing that got me to do it. And then you were a champion? No, I didn't know how to swim.
Starting point is 00:39:32 My parents signed me up for the swim team and I didn't know how to swim. You thought it was how to learn how to swim? I ran across the pool. Like Jesus. Or what do you mean ran across the pool? I thought I could fool people into thinking I was doing the butterfly. Oh, OK. Oh, you ran across the bottom.
Starting point is 00:39:51 The bottom. Yeah. So I was like running and doing the motion. Yeah. Oh, no one will know. And I beat everyone. I got there first. So they technically had to hand me a ribbon. That's not cheating. Well, then I was informed that I was disqualified.
Starting point is 00:40:11 You get out of the pool and they just hand you a ribbon. There's no there's no ceremony. There's no you get a ribbon. But then someone has to tell me like, I actually like you got disqualified. They said DQ and you go, we're going to Dairy Queen? So that's one of the classics that I like to call them. But yeah, my earlier stuff, I'm yeah, sure. I watched my half hour from Comedy Central.
Starting point is 00:40:41 There was again, a lot of that pushing, a lot of that yelling punchlines. And I mean, my wife is like, can you lay off the yelling of punchlines? I'm like, sure, sure, sure. I've done it. My old stand-up, I'm like, hey, everybody, you've been to the DMV? It's crazy. They're like, all right. Fuck, we've been.
Starting point is 00:41:01 I had my brother say something to me that stuck with me. I'm at the improv in the early 80ies, terrified, eight o'clock spot. And I just bought it. I mean, you know, dead silent. Someone goes, Norman Lear was seemed to like it. You know, it's like eight people before he left. My brother just kind of said, uh, hurry up and be funny. You know, rush rushing it, trying to just go really fast.
Starting point is 00:41:28 Maybe that'll save me. Hurry up and be funny. So yeah. Yeah. That when you're, when you're bombing, it's a, it seems like such an instinct. And I, I did it two weeks ago at the comedy store. I went on and I thought I was hot shit and I was fucking cold boogers. I went out there and, uh, you know, I start going and they're not buying it. I'm like, what the fuck? Then I start going,
Starting point is 00:41:48 wait, what am I doing? Oh, I should jump to that one. Oh, yeah. I don't like this. They don't like that. And then you start spying. You're like a horse that got spooked. I don't, I mean, to be honest, and it's a good pro it sounds self congratulatory, but it feels like the audience is kind of waiting for either George Bush Sr. or a car or something. Oh yeah. And I can do any kind of thing about me at 7-Eleven or a regular stand up bit, but then if I hit a voice, that's what we want.
Starting point is 00:42:16 That would be nice to have in your back pocket though. You're like, it's like playing a guitar. You're like, you guys don't like this? Are you going to like this? Oh yeah. Here we go. Bow bow bow bow bow. Say hello to the church lady.
Starting point is 00:42:29 But see, you're so great at impressions. Impressions is not obviously my, I can't even get rid of my Southern accent. I've been in LA 21 years, so. You have a very cool voice. I've just been starting to really listen to it. And it's tonally in the accent. Yeah. It's just kind of, I figure, I mean, I can't, I'm not going to try to do you, but there's something about all that.
Starting point is 00:42:54 I did do, I did Daniel Craig in not knives out. That was called, cause I did a cartoon for Robert Karluk and Tina Fey. And so they, I said, do kind of a South Carolina, you know, so I just watched Knives Out and I just did that. I just did it over the top. You know, think about it. Foghorn leg horn. Basically, that's what I'm trying to say. I guess it worked. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:43:19 I don't know. I said, boy, it's even said it's jarring even hearing it Even hearing it not knives out because you're like, it's so old school. Yeah, I know. No one thinks that's real. Oh, they go. You're in the Midwest. You go. That's not like a real thing. Yeah, it doesn't feel like a real voice.
Starting point is 00:43:38 Yeah. What what what kind of and I who am I doing now? There's a friend of mine. He's from the South and he kind of talks like this. What you all fixing to do? Yeah, that's like Tennessee. He he kind of talks like this. What y'all fixing to do? Yeah, that's like Tennessee. He acts kind of dumber than he is. I go, what are you doing saying
Starting point is 00:43:50 you don't know what's going on? He goes, I was just playing Palsam. Palsam. I was just playing, I was just phonin' and I talked to him. Yeah, go ahead. Well, people do think every Southerner is a dumb ass because of our accent.
Starting point is 00:44:05 Well, also this woman from Alabama who was a masseuse and she was a really good one. She used to put her elbow on your ass and go, give it. Oh, I like that. Elbow on the ass. Give it. Oh yeah, you had a whole, wasn't that the whole thing? Yeah, butt massage.
Starting point is 00:44:19 That was funny. And that was, and that's very real. I had a guy, what's the, masseur? Maseuse, a masseur. He only wanted to give butt massages. And I was like, I really was startled at first. And then it was the greatest thing I'd ever experienced. And he would do it for like, just the butt for like 30 minutes.
Starting point is 00:44:47 Oh my God. Would not touch like feet, legs, anything else. He would do shoulders like 10 minutes. And then that was the massage. And I kept going back because I was like, no one else is touching my butt like this guy. Yeah. You walking backwards.
Starting point is 00:45:03 Yeah. Ready? Here we come. And then he got fired. And I was like, oh, yeah, I think he did. He was never supposed to do that probably at all. I don't think he was. He was just doing it.
Starting point is 00:45:15 Hey, do I owe anything? No, you don't owe me anything. It's fine. I just got off. What? And he would make noises like, like he was so into it. And I was like, I should be grossed out by this, but my butt has never been more relaxed.
Starting point is 00:45:32 Do you know that the glute muscle and all that stuff around there is, connects the lower body. It is the biggest muscle in your body, the most important. That's what they, yes. Yeah, you must've felt incredible. You must've walked to the bigger stride after that.
Starting point is 00:45:45 For sure. And I thought after doing that joke that like, okay, now when I go to a massage place, they're gonna be like, let's give her the old butt, you know, elbow. Cause they saw it in the special. And that one has done it. I'm like, God dang it.
Starting point is 00:46:05 You know what? They give you those code words. Like they really dress it up like gluteus, medius and all this. You're like right. And they're not just saying I'm into butts. But no one's like, do you want me to? They're not even giving me the option. Like would you like me to get in on that glute?
Starting point is 00:46:22 I'm like, yes, please. And I don't want to say, I don't want to be a creep. That's like, Hey, what can you, I do. I say, get in that, but I don't care what time I cannot lie. Who's saying that song. Sir, mix a lot, sir. Mix a mo now. Have y'all had butt massages? Oh my God, yes.
Starting point is 00:46:46 Can I do my favorite- You guys do- Glute joke. Give it to each other. Glute joke. This is Hans in France. My favorite put down. Your buttocks are like marshmallows.
Starting point is 00:46:56 You're lucky I don't have a campfire here. So the reason that's funny is like, what are they gonna burn? They're gonna put his ass in a fire. That's right. Because his ass is like marshmallows. I've gotten a lot of massages, but not lately. I need a new, I need a masseuse. Dana, what do you think is the character people most request from you?
Starting point is 00:47:20 It's a pick. I'm depending on age group. It would be the George Bush senior or Garth. It's George Bush senior, Garth Church Lady, Hansen Frans, or Ross Perot, probably. What's your closer? My closer, I do like 50 micro impressions. And you ever have a joke in your act, Fortune, that you don't feel is like the best bit, but it gets an oversized response. You're like, really? Yeah. Like I do George W. Bush as a standup with an old stock joke that
Starting point is 00:47:54 Leno gave me once and it kills so hard. I'm always like, really? George W. Bush is a standup. Yeah. Two Irishmen walk out of a bar. It could happen. Oh, they walk out of it. You know, I'm going, that's such a silly joke. Yeah. I do like a hundred micro impressions in a row. Oh, that's cool. Just a bludgeon them quick, quick, quick, quick, quick. Yeah. Thousand stabs with a knife and then they collapse at the end.
Starting point is 00:48:24 The one that lately kills, I just brought it back because it made me laugh, was just a way to do George Bush Senior that I... feels new. But anyway, George Bush Senior tries to go off a high dive. So I'm like, I'm crawling up to the front of the stage. He's looking down. Gotta do it. Gotta do it. Then it's like he looks over.
Starting point is 00:48:42 Nah, gotta do it. You know, it's just... That's fun. Yeah. I love that. Thank you. So what's your closer? What's your... Don't give it away if you don't want to give away your closers.
Starting point is 00:48:55 Well, you've had different closures. Yeah. What's your sweet and salty closers? What's the one that you just wrote that you're going to do in your special? Don't waste it. So, well, I'll just say that this hour is I've kind of fallen into the storytelling rhythm of like of my stand up. So every special has a beginning, middle and end like
Starting point is 00:49:20 this is I'm introducing a premise to you. And here's kind of this is going to go on a journey. And then this is all going to tie in at the end. And then here we are going to come full circle. Geez. So this, the closer is not necessarily like, oh my God, this is going to like, you know, slap your titties. Just beat yourself up and slap your titties. That's how I... That's...
Starting point is 00:49:47 Just beat yourself up and slap your titties. Just slap your titties, this is good. Yeah. But it's a victory that involves what I set up in the beginning. And so it's set, I introduced something early on. Geez, you're Christopher Nolan. early on. You're Christopher Nolan. Oh, yeah. I do my act backwards once.
Starting point is 00:50:11 And then so the closer is the victory. And then I have the big the big clap for the victory. And I am tagging it with another thing that like brings it full circle a second time. People got to come watch it. And then do you put your hands up and go, good night. And then photos. And then I do a photo. Yeah, before I get let you go, Fortune,
Starting point is 00:50:34 you gotta tell us, do you, how do you do the photo at the end? Because I never do it. And I go, I gotta do this. I know, you asked me, you're like, how do you do that? Because it is kind of an awkward, like you've done, you've gotten your victory and then you have to be like, OK, now I'm going to need a photo.
Starting point is 00:50:52 Yeah, I just kind of people are so used to it now. I just finished the thing. And while they're clapping, I'm like, thanks for coming. You guys are the best. Let's get a photo for for the old Instagram or my scrapbook or whatever. And I just say, you know, I go on the count of three. And they did. Did the house lights know to go up?
Starting point is 00:51:17 Yeah, they bring the house lights up and I go on the count of three. Just act like you had a good time. And I count to three and everyone goes, and we get a picture. When I do it, I'm going to go, and on three, stand up on two. And on three, I look like a standing ovation. What I do, which is an inside joke with my opening act sometimes, Larry Bubbles Brown is very funny because I tell him I'm going to do it. So I'm doing a guitar thing, guitar thing, guitar thing.
Starting point is 00:51:45 BAM. Then I take the neck of the guitar and I hold the whole guitar up slowly, way over my head. So I'm kind of like 12 feet tall. As I move the guitar up, the audience is hypnotized into standing up. Oh, yeah. And then he's always laughing so hard. I like I'm holding a head, a cut off head and I love it. They're like, we're standing for this. Yeah. Look at the guitar. It's up laughing so hard. I like I'm holding a head, a cut off head and. I love it. They're like, we're standing for this. Yeah. Look at the guitar. It's up in the sky.
Starting point is 00:52:09 I got to get on my feet. Well, when they know it's over, it's like when a plane lands, they're like, I just want to stand up and get out of here. I think it's I take it as a compliment. But they're like, are you can you stamp this? And I'm like, no, I'm leaving the stage. Well, because all of us kind of set up the end for them, right? We're like, and now my closer.
Starting point is 00:52:31 You know, you kind of sometimes I said before I go, here's one last thing. Yeah, that helps. Call the babysitter, say you're on the way. Yeah. No, but yeah, it tips them off. Do you have nights where it's Mayday, May Day, where you have to call an audible? You have to cut, cut things or hurry it up. The audience is tired or drunk or they're just quiet.
Starting point is 00:52:54 And do you adjust or you just it's not a problem. I mean, since you're telling stories, it's harder to like trim it on. Chop them. Right. Yeah, because there's definitely a specific set I'm running right now. If the audience seems a little like my closer didn't get the punch I wanted, if it's feeling a little incomplete, I will then say and as a cherry on top, let's do a classic.
Starting point is 00:53:22 And I'll give them like probably the most popular story I do is from and I'll give them like, probably the most popular story I do is from Sweet and Salty about going to Hooters as a kid. And then my- You know it's a good one, it works. What's that? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It always works.
Starting point is 00:53:41 If that doesn't work, you're like, fuck it. If that doesn't work, then the- I'm just not funny, bye. I got nothing for you guys. Could you just tell us the first laugh line of that story? So what it is is that I just say I've been to Hooters my entire life because I have two older brothers. They loved Hooters.
Starting point is 00:54:00 So it was never a big deal. And my mom started dating a very conservative man when I was in high school, who, you know, everything was a sin. And I said, we were trying to figure out where to eat. And my mom's, I start playing my mom where she stiffens up and she looks at me and she's like, I have never been to Hooters.
Starting point is 00:54:28 And it's because it's a long story. But now that people know this story and love the story, the whole audience for it, they say with you, I have never the whole audience is yelling. I have never been the Hooters as a whole crowd. It's pretty fun. That's like Beyonce. Yeah, I'm just like. What size rooms are you playing now?
Starting point is 00:55:00 What's your biggest room you've ever played? Oh, I just did the Chicago Theatre and that was 3500 seats. It was sold out. That was a pretty, that was pretty awesome. That's hard to do. Yeah, I was I was it was definitely like a cool like, holy cow. This is a milestone moment. I'm doing anywhere from 1500 seats to the 3500 seats. And then sometimes I'm selling out the 2700 seat
Starting point is 00:55:33 and adding in the show, or sometimes I'm selling out the 2700 seats and that's that. Or sometimes I'm, you know, happy to have the 1200. What city, I'm sorry, this is inside baseball for our listeners. What city do you sell the tickets the easiest? The fact, you know, certain cities like, oh, you sold out already.
Starting point is 00:55:49 What city loves you the most? Seattle? Cause that's where you're going back to. Seattle's yeah, we're at like 6,000 tickets there that we can. It's pretty crazy. Seattle, Chicago. We almost added a second show, but I'm also gay. So I do a lot, I do really well in red states that would support me.
Starting point is 00:56:12 I'm a black person. I'm a black person. I'm a black person. I'm a black person. I'm a black person. I'm a black person. I'm a black person. I'm a black person.
Starting point is 00:56:20 I'm a black person. I'm a black person. I'm a black person. I'm a black person. I'm a black person. I'm a black person. I'm a black person. I'm a black person. I'm Southern, but I'm also gay. Um, so I do a lot. I do really well in red States that would surprise people, um, because there are, you know, even though they're red States, there are people there that wants to, they want to see.
Starting point is 00:56:39 Yeah. They want to see people that don't come through as much. Um, and, um, so yeah, I, I do, like, I sell better than like mobile Alabama than I do San Francisco. It's wild. Um, cause those, a lot of those folks are just starved for, you know, other voices that they don't get coming through there. It's some representation they go, we don't't in San Fran, it's every night. Somebody there, you're like, hey, yeah, fun.
Starting point is 00:57:11 And then plus you do just a great stand up show anyway. Yeah. I mean, I try to do jokes and stories that are not geared towards one person or one voice or one experience. Even though I am gay, there's a going to be able to do that. I'm not a person who's going to be able to do that. I'm not a person who's going to be able to do that. I'm not a person who's going to be able to do that. I'm not a person who's going to be able to do that. I'm not a person who's going to be able to do that. I'm not a person who's going to be able to do that.
Starting point is 00:57:35 I'm not a person who's going to be able to do that. I'm not a person who's going to be able to do that. I'm not a person who's going to be able to do that. I'm not a person who's going to be able to do that. I'm not a person who's going to be able to do that. I'm not a person who's going to be able to do that. proposing to my wife, that's something men could relate to. You know, being nervous, not getting it right. I try to throw out stories that different people can, you know, grab onto and relate to.
Starting point is 00:57:56 Yeah, I think you have a very broad appeal to all kinds of people. Thank you. I try. I think so. I'm going out on a limb. I'm predicting good things. One is not only that you're talented, that you have a great work ethic.
Starting point is 00:58:10 It's very impressive that you can turn an hour and treat it like a college assignment or something. I guess you are you recording? You go to the clubs, you record your set and then writing, listening to the recording, making notes, writing, going back to the club. I mean, it's it's hard and mentally hard. It is my least favorite process. The writing of the new hour. I'm sure you guys feel similar. It's tough. It's hard. I'm like, what? I mean, at the end of this, I'm like, what am I going to talk about?
Starting point is 00:58:39 And you're like, I don't know. I have a couple of things at work. I don't have a closer. I don't have like something that kills every time. And you're like missing your old stuff going, fuck, I could put that in right here. I know it's, it's hard. It's, it's not a process. That process.
Starting point is 00:58:52 I enjoy it when it's on its feet and I'm working it out. I don't enjoy the, like, I don't know what stories to even start with. Um, that's the hard part. You've already racked your brain for three specials. Yeah. And we're all working all the time. So I, my wife's like, we got to like live some life, you know, like, yeah, something different.
Starting point is 00:59:14 I don't want to be talking about like rental cars and hotels. My next one. I'm a gold member of Hertz. Well, thank you, Fortune. Thanks for coming on. So nice to meet you. I hope we run into each other and I'll go, hey, you're on our podcast. Hi, Fortune. Dana, it's such a treat to talk to you, meet you.
Starting point is 00:59:36 My pleasure. I love me some Spade too. Spade and I went real quick. We went to having to be at Craig's once at the same time. Oh, that's right. The place in LA to eat. There was a booth between us that was empty. Yep.
Starting point is 00:59:52 And they, so Spade was in one booth over here, we were on the other booth, an empty booth between us, and Meghan Markle and Prince Harry were maybe gonna come and be between us. And I was like, this would have been the greatest story ever. Because they came up and whispered, they go, hey, just so you know, we're not supposed to tell. Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are gonna sit right there.
Starting point is 01:00:14 And I'm like, oh, fuck yeah. And then I look over and I see Fortune. I go, oh my God, we go over there. We're like, inspiring. Like, this is gonna be so fun. You're gonna get 10 new minutes. But then remember, Fortune, we saw a couple like Secret service guys.
Starting point is 01:00:25 Yeah. Like check in the place out. I think they went back and said, there's two clowns on either side and I wouldn't go in there and they're probably going to tick tock. Let's not have this happen. Yeah. They went to the bungalows after. Oh man.
Starting point is 01:00:38 But I thought that would have been the greatest moment of fun. Like you and you and I sandwiching a royal. Would you have gone over? No! I know, I wouldn't. You probably... You wouldn't? I wouldn't unless they came over.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Yeah, at least they said something. Yeah. Like, bye-bye. I would just nod my head and go, carrot top? But anyway. I was, Prince Harry, I love all your stuff. You're fabulous. My name's Demetri and it's nice to meet you.
Starting point is 01:01:09 I would have done it. I would have ran away. I want them on this podcast. All right. Because I do think I'm sure they're very funny people. I'm sure they laugh a lot. They need to come on here. They need to loosen up.
Starting point is 01:01:22 Just laugh. Let's tease out all the humor, get rid of the darkness, you know, and have This is the place. Prince William beam in or whatever. Get these Royals back together as a family. That's one of my goals this year in 2024. If anyone can bring the Royals back together, it's you two. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:41 We won't go rough on them. There you go. No hard hitting questions right here. You heard it. No, no, just fun. Yeah. Stay in touch and like me more than Dana. I mean, do what you can.
Starting point is 01:01:55 It's hard. I know. I always wanted to get on the fortune 500 and I feel like I kind of have. No, I have no clothes. Of course you have. That was a great closure, Dana. All right, bye. Well, all right, I'll just say goodbye as the church say.
Starting point is 01:02:11 Well, well, well, fortune find the meister oyster. We don't know how to pronounce our last name, do we? But Jesus loves us and we know that. We like to do our little comedy jokes and strut around the stage like a little scrumpet. Anyway, sorry, it's all I got. Oh my God. She's mean. That just took me to a very wonderful place in my childhood. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all the stuff, smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 01:02:42 Like or review, all this stuff, smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts. Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss, Berman of Odyssey, Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.

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