Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - From Busboys & Dishwashers to SNL + Let's End White People?

Episode Date: January 12, 2026

Dana and David jump on to celebrate Dana’s 43rd wedding anniversary—but let’s be honest, the real milestone is ANOTHER deep dive into Housemaid, now that David has finally seen it. From there, the guys mark the one-year anniversary of the LA fires and ask the big question: where did all the money actually go? Along the way: audition survival tips, why Love Island: Moon would be the greatest reality show ever, their very official takes on modern art, and news! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I am jamming. Cut. That's good stuff. He's like, here's 20 bucks. I'm like, if you get on this mother-effing fucking roof and this summer and Arizona, want to do anything, you just climb up the ladder, give me 20 bucks. I agree. I mean...

We've got three people right now that agree. Me, you and her. I mean, I'm not literally, you know, think about it. Like, this is... white. Am I white? No, I'm splotchy. No, they don't mean odd. Do you have a problem with my hat? No, I like it. Well, what I found out was it's Reebok. Thank you. Thank you for your sponsor, but it's embedded. That's Reebok? Yeah, but you can't really see it. There you go. Oh, it's, I kind of like that it's just black. It's a, yeah, it's not. It's not. It's not.

It's like when Rob Lowe wore that one to the Super Bowl, it said, it just said NFL on it. It just said like he didn't want to pull for one side of the other and lose fans. Well, it's the thing I was doing before, and this is really important for people, like your trucker hats, like they'll sit tall on your head, which is the way you want. You don't want them like coming down, you know, and like this one I'm not going to wear working out. So it gets all sweaty and mouth warm. So it's kind of sitting more like a trucker hat. Anyway, that's all I got on the hat. That's a great way to start.

A great start. We've gained millions of followers off that. Yes. Grab them at the top. At least 100,000. Well, my trucker has, I want people to know that I know they mostly look stupid. Some look cool, but most of them look stupid. But I still don't think they look stupid.

I wouldn't say. Some are too high up. too jiffy pop, but I don't like that. Sometimes that's on purpose with people. I don't like it. Well, it is a look, right? You're not the only one, but you kind of are a little bit famous for wearing them. Well, sometimes my hair looks is so bad. I'd rather just look dumber in a hat. It's a tough decision, but I do that.

Oh, yeah. I mean, our, us is a super... Jiffy pop? Does Greg know what jiffy pop means? What do you think? Would he know? Hmm. I'm going to say no. Oh, do people not know that because we're so old? Greg, do you know what Jiffy Pop is? Heather, you know what it is. Heather, do you know?

She knows. Oh, Greg says, of course. Okay, so it's, can I just ask the question? It's still in stores. You can get it, right? It's still in stores. I think it's so it's a flat aluminum pan and you go, chik, chik, chik, and then it grows.

It's like a... What is it made out of the tinfoil? Well, it's aluminum tinfoil and the pop corn is in there, unpopped, and you go like that, and then the funny part, as a kid, it would just grow, grow, grow, grow, and then you... Hopping on the inside. Yeah. So what I do now is I'll do spinach, reverse jiffy pop. So I put it in and it's gigantic.

And then the more I stir it with the olive oil and all the stuff I do, it goes down in almost nothing. We just got bigger on the screen. I just saw myself up close and it's fucking a rough ride. So your anniversary is this week. Yes. My anniversary, yeah, is this week. Yeah, yeah.

What about it? What do you got a point of view? Borderline personal. Yeah, well, you know, 43 is not that exciting. You know, what do you do at 43? And what's up, you know? 43 is, is that sandpaper? What are you supposed to give someone to 43?

I don't know. She gave me a hug and said, you're my favorite husband. I go, really has been others. It's nice when you're at ease and it's not like I got to go out and get this crazy presence all the time. You guys are both very cool people, so it's a chill vibe. Yeah, we might go see housemates because she hasn't seen it. I'm not saying it's the greatest. I'm just saying it's entertaining.

I will say I. Yeah, go ahead. I want to I want to ask you a question. In terms of the gore factor when they're doing stuff, do you think it's still kind of not horror show, it's still slightly funny even though there's some stuff that's like that? You know what I said? Yes. I went and saw it since our last podcast.

And Paul Figue was on the show. And he was here to talk about House Me. So I felt like as my duty, not to see it before we interview him, like a normal person. But I saw that. Joining the Marines? Okay, go ahead. As my duty, civic duty. To see Sidney's Sweetie late naked, I said, I should go see Paul's movie.

And like Amanda, Sigfried. which I say wrong. Great address. And there's a guy that's the lead in who I don't know, but very good looking. Anyway. We should get his name. Heather, Greg, could you look up the name of the mail lead? Because he's awfully good and he's been around in a lot of stuff.

But let's make him a household name. The numbers we're getting, we'll make him a household. Yeah, overnight. So I saw it and I thought it was, it had some humor. I don't think it's really a gory horror film those moments, but I didn't really think that. I just thought it was one of those. I mean, it's Paul Feek who's done so many,

he's a comic and he's done so many comedies that, aside from even bridesmaids, that he was, how do you say his name? Brandon Sclenar? Why did we even try? I don't know, we fucking ruined it. It just popped up and went away. Scalinear.

It's S. K-E-L. Slinner. Sclenner. Oh, like Leonard Skiller. Heather confidently says it possibly wrong. Brandon Sclenner. Brandon Sclenner.

All the acting is great. It's just one of those fun movies of someone going into a house that's dysfunctional and sort of a thriller, like what's going to happen. There's violence a little, but it doesn't lean on it. There's sexual themes. There's sexual themes. It's Sidney's in a contract. And she's really good, too. She can, what's interesting about her as a casual fan, she can really mouse herself down.

She can be sort of the girl next door kind of playing. Mouse house. Or she could go full bling and do the other thing. So she's got a wide, you know. I thought she, the only surprising thing to me, she's obviously very cute. She played it very under the whole thing. She wasn't like over the top or anything like that. She was very, which I liked.

And Amanda, and obviously, and she's great, actress. Yeah. And the guy who is kind of the reason. Brandon. Yeah. Agents say to change your name just to make it easier. Like Brandon Boxcar would have been better. I'd remember.

Boom. Got it. Brandon. Brandon rackum. Yeah. Rickie rackum. Ricky rackum. Yeah.

Ricky rackum. But you don't know if something's silent with S.K. L-E-N-A-R. Because if it's, it's Slender, but you got the K in there. So anyway, he's awfully good. So, you know, it's Paul Fieg, our buddy, you know, a really good friend. Keep saying. He's a director.

He's the director of the film. And it does start, and it starts and ends with him. I mean, he is directing it and he got great performances. And it's, it's just a fun movie. I don't want to say it's like gone with the wind or apocalypse now. but it's awfully entertaining. If I have to say one criticism, am I allowed? Yes.

A hair lengthy. But that's my overall problem with the lot. I would say, without giving it away, is that you're right. So its third act was kind of elongated because it does have some things you don't see coming. And so when you, a normal thriller movie like that would end at point whatever.

This one does extend, but when it's extending, it's full of twists and turns, you don't see coming. Or is there doing a sequel also. Are you starting to get it? I'm starting to get it. And the more you break it down, the more I sort of understand it. That's something I've said to John Lovitz. I know. I've heard you say that for a moment.

Starting to get it. Heather, we put that one down a squinch. We run a multi-million dollar operation over here, Dana. We put millions into this. What do you? Well, look at what I mean. There you go. Uh, thank you.

Um, this place. This podcast, Brown door. The Brown Door Diaries. Brown Door Diaries. I know people say, hey, that podcast is great if you're a fucking woodpecker. Well, that's why I'm going full woodsy and I'm going black red black. You're Woodsy owl. Remember Woodsy Al?

You know what he did? You know what his phrase was? No. Who? Give a hoot. Don't pollute. Oh, give a hoot. Don't pollute. Okay. What did Smokey the Bear say? There's more to Woodsie aisle. He had a song. Oh, okay. Help Woodsy spread the word, never be a dirty bird in the city or in the land, on the land.

Help keep America looking grand. Fuck yeah. Woody was a bit of a star in the day. That was cool. Smokey the bear scared the shit out of me because I'm like four years old. I'm watching TV by myself. this cartoon bear points at me and says, only you can prevent forest fires. Dana. Only me. I weigh 30 pounds.

I'm like to smother it out, you know. Only you, Dana. Why are you still sitting there? Only you and David Spade. And that was weird. I think that he mentioned your name even before I met. Okay. We got R-K

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On fire whiskey. I know. And eight flavored vodkas, David. Yeah, because there are some cinnamon things out there that do well. So I guess I think I get. And people like flaming, you know, snacks. Each comes in a beautifully engraved glass bottle on a wooden cap, making it perfect for gifting or for your at-home bar.

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What's the world is Von Miller, Super Bowl MVP, chicken farmer, and now host of free range. This is a show where I go off the field and off the script. We're talking what's hot in music, film, trending news, and everything blowing up your feet. If you love football, you'll feel at home. But if you're here for the vibes, the internet deep dives, the conversation, This is your podcast. Join me every Wednesday. Follow and listen to Free Range with me.

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Anne Lee, founder of the radical religious movement The Shakers, The Testament of Anne Lee. Exclusive Toronto Engagement, January 16th, in theaters everywhere, January 23rd. Dana, this is a good transition. Yeah, let's transition. This is the one year of the forest fires in L.A. One year.

Where was smoky? Where were you? You could have fixed it. Now, nothing to be joking about. But it is a year anniversary. It's all over the news. I remember we were starting bus boys. A pause.

Bus boys, yeah. 2029 coming to theater toward you. Yeah. In 2030, after the next four avatars, you'll see a preview to busboys. And Chico California drive-in, a special screening. One screen only. And one speaker that fits in your driver's side window.

It's getting there. I know. It's good. I'm working on the music. Theo's working on the special effects. We don't have that many. It's not I like it. Is there going to be a robot in it?

I don't know. I don't know what it is. We have rabbits and it's you and him. It's it's it's you bake the cake. It's a light summer fair. So good. We need. Aside from the heat around busboys, there was heat in L.A.

And in a year later, there's so much chaos about it. Literally. Nothing went right. I mean, there's still not building. that many things. They, oh yeah, I wrote down something that happens.

Takes time. I don't know how they. It's just so sad. Oh, well, well, the big trick was $100 million was raised in a fire

benefit with huge acts. You know what I mean? Rockstar. Yeah, yeah. Remember that benefit. Yeah. Made a lot of money.

Going directly to the victims. So so far, nothing has gone to the victims. So that was a big problem. Where is the money? Is it with the Somalis in Minneapolis. It got funneled. They go, you're good with money. You guys can handle this hundred. Yeah, you're good. Just give it to you guys. Yeah. Yeah. So that's frustrating for everyone to say

the least. And I don't even know what NGOs do, but it went into little funds where they decided what to do with it. And sometimes that goes into some red tape and different things and salaries. And it doesn't quite get to the people. So now they're going to build some of for low-income housing, which I mean, kind of makes sense. It's not what everyone wanted that lived there, but I get why they do that stuff. But not doing permits, like they're not really helping people rebuild quickly. It's very tricky. I don't know the minutia of it, but first of all, it's like all the wires and the gas lines and all that. And then it's just getting all the debris out while keeping that stuff intact and then actually breaking ground and starting to build and then certain

neighborhoods are completely decimated so do you try to do it all at once you're bringing in water i i know it's complicated and i don't know what but where the hundred million one is a good question because that why don't you know how to fix it you should know how to fix it all right okay so you clear the houses out you get all the electrical and water really really good and then you you bring in a lot of wood and and a lot of carpenters and a lot of stuff. Well, you go and you design the homes, and then you build the homes. Right.

Well, there's Al-Tadena. Labor Day, it's done? That's what I'm thinking. Altadena, Palisades, Malibu, you know, so I told you I used to have a house there, fully fucking toast, fully just in crumbs. But yeah, okay, so that. We shouldn't joke about it because people.

We're not, we're not trying to joke. We're a comedy show. We're not really joking about the tragedy. just we're kind of we're frustrated like everyone else that there's not more progress being made well because then then here come it's like the same broader problem with people paying taxes in california when they're building a hundred billion dollar train to sacramento san francisco area said i don't know if everyone's clamoring for it when you could take 10 billion and probably fix a lot of problems in californ but they keep pushing this 10 year thing about the train that's

one of the crazy things. The homeless, they lose 20 billion, but they want more money for it. That's why people get tired of paying taxes and going, what are you doing? Gavin Newsom just vetoed a bill asking for an audit of where the money for homeless goes. He said, not a chance. You're not going to see that. Well, I don't think anyone could disagree with this. There are states, I don't have them offhand, who basically you go to their website and they tell you where all the money's going. Yeah. Line by line. Maybe it's thousands of pages a year, but you can see where it's going. So when there's, he's behind the curtain, don't pay attention to Gavin Newsom, you know, it's a little bit frustrating because you go, you can't ask for more. I mean, if someone's, if you're, if you're in a household

and someone's blowing all the money, you go, what are you spending on? Don't worry about it. Just give us more. You go, well, I'd like to see some, something. And if it's fixing homeless, great but don't just take it and then be like homeless has gotten worse you go it's like excuse me excuse me excuse me um could we ask where no the 20 billion went or that's a great question but no garth i'm sorry we're that was garth asking was garth a little bit of guards but i told wayne i'd ask i just wondering if you know where the 20 billion went uh we're looking into it but right now we don't have any answers but my main message to you is just right around in your amc pacer and get some red rope lickrace because we ain't telling you diddly squad red rope

i i could probably go through 20 billion on draft kings during the playoffs because i'm so bad at betting yeah i've heard i've heard that about you and i said no i'm not going to spread when i tell people i won a hundred dollars and i brag i don't mention i I lost 900. No one ever does that. They always talk about their wins. Here's what I want. And everyone goes, oh, man, you're living the high life.

I go, I know what I'm doing. I took the algorithm. Actually, if I was smart, I would bet and use chat GPT or use whatever just to say, what are the best odds of the best teams and players and do it that way. Someone bet a lot of money because you can bet on anything. And I don't know if it was a Bitcoin site or something like. that but they made a bet where you could you know you're gambling that trump that made no no longer be in power by like january 31st or whatever the date was and they made the bet

like three hours before they started the mission oh oh oh oh oh so inside info yeah yeah yeah yeah they said it was a guy his last name was hex this but he didn't know what no i'm kidding they have a predictive this is the best invention predictive gambling so it's not gambling you're right predicting the future predicting events yeah it's not like you think avatar will make over a billion right and you say okay i'm betting a hundred and they can do that legally and you're not sports betting it's some loophole and those stocks are uh skyrocket yeah you can bet about anything you could bet how long will avatar be in theaters yeah yeah David's when is the next time David spade will wear a blue sweatshirt on the podcast you could bet

when will uh Dana stop talking about housemaid what year I can switch to Martin Marty supreme anytime you want what decade will bus boys come out in was bus boys ever actually real yes was bus boys will we find out bus boys was never shot It was just you and Theo in a room laughing your asses off. I think everyone's going to think that we made a movie. No, I could, okay, I saw the pit last night because it's all the rage. Oh, the pit, this fucking doctor show. Do you know about it?

It's actually really good. That's a bit gory, but it's actually. Oh, do they show like operations? And legs and things. Yeah, it's. Fuck, last night I was watching, what's up, Doc? What's the one where it's a, Female doctor.

I know Neil. It's called Doc. No, it's just called Doc, but it's exactly the pit. I mean, a doctor show, Grey's Anatomy. They all have a hook. I don't know what this one is. It might be she goes in the past and remembers something 10 years ago, but it's just the same thing.

A guy has a problem. Are they related? Let's get 10 Cs of ringers lactate. And so that's all it is is a fast moving hospital and then the problems of the doctors. But what is the pit? Is that what that is? Pitt, it just, at least the first episode just takes place in the most radically packed hospital emergency ward. So it's no.

Move, move, move. Coming through. Yeah, coming through. He's got a leg. And then they're like, get a C5, four, seven, four. Hematoma. Hematoma. Labasim, we need some ellipocene, right, and a four set.

C, C, clear. Okay. Patient is, you know, I mean, it's very detailed, but it moves really fast. And it's, like, E.R. Heather, the name of the name of the Lee. sorry no no wiley right yeah was it wiley or wiley because he's from er it's yeah and he's great they are there's the acting's great and everything is great he r again everyone it's er again but what with with k you know live streaming kind of gore you know is it all in one day yeah i think so

i think but i don't know if the whole show is like that just the first episode yeah i don't want to give this away about bus voice but it's all in two hours it's just a reality show we just all it's two hours in the day of them well as far as medical shows and i don't know if this is true because this is very successful i guess it's hulu's going to do one about an extremely handsome doctor called brad pitt so um oh it's there's the pit and there's brad pitt brad pitt is just a show about a really handsome talk it's a guy named brad pittsburg by the way is I like puns. Is the pit because of Pittsburgh?

No, they call it the pit and he gets in trouble. I don't know because he just says it's the suckiest place on earth, I think, unless I miss it. Well, maybe it is part of Pittsburgh. You're right. And they call it, welcome to the pit. You know, so. The first day they go, you're new here. Welcome to dog shit town.

Right. And they have these interns following around and they have to see all this gore and blood and everything. and one of them passes out and stuff like that. Well, if you're, if here's inside Hollywood stupid shit, if you're pitching a show to Netflix or one of the networks, the showrunner is probably the most important. If you're going to do a show like this, they will buy it off a showrunner.

So if you're doing comedy and you go, Tina Faye's going to produce it and write it with me, blah, blah, they're looking at that more than the star. You would like a star attached or one or two, but they want a whole package because I think, anyone can walk in and say, what about a crazy hospital where it's very fast moving? But who takes care of the doctors and their problems? And then everyone goes, ah.

And so that's a very general idea. But you get the guy that did ER. You get this and you get Noah Wiley and you get some super smart people and a great director that knows how to shoot that shit. It's very hard. And the actors have to be, that dialogue is flying and you can't screw it up. They're all good. So somewhere in the chain of command, the producer, the director, the writers and the actors said, let's make a next level hospital emergency room show. Yeah. What's the next version that people will be in? Yeah. And it's very, it's very compelling. I have to say, you know, I bet ER would look slow right now because it was great at the time. But what's next? What are we doing? What's TikTok? Everything's got to go faster.

Yeah, everything's faster. They don't have commercial. you know just bam bam bam bam so with you know thank you with e r it'd be like damn it we need some oxygen stat and now a word from kellogg's cornflakes you know right in the middle so well you might not know this data you know a lot about people don't remember commercials go ahead but i did a spin off of facts of life which is an old show oh you and i played a med student well wait a minute 25 grand it was so juicy what was a called it was a fact of life spin-off pilot was it called fencer hall no it's called a little pit i worked at a hospital and no i worked at a hospital and richard rick goes on this i'm i'm giving away

my age he let's go back to nineteen it was it was it was natalie from facts of life It was Mickey Rooney as a child. No, I'm not that old. It was Natalie from Facts of Life. Right. And she spun off where she moved in New York. And then she has roommates. And she lives with a bunch of people.

I'm one of them. I'm a med student. Greco was a great looking look at. So I did the pilot. And then the pilot, I have to come home. I'm the goofball. But then at the end, I'm on the balcony and like a little fan on me like this. She's like, what's wrong?

I lost one today. And it's like the first patient I lost. Does that exist anywhere in nature? I'm sadly, I think so. And then we'll play it next week. And then I lost the patient and then I kind of lost the show for it. I think my acting really, there's no losing going on.

And the guy that was the good looking kid, immediately when that didn't get picked up, got his own show called Booker. And he went on for five seasons. as a super stud. It's always humiliating. You walk in, you're reading for something. And then you see 10 guys that kind of look like you.

And you go, no one has a chin. They're pretty short. They're kind of cute. What are all these other squids doing here? Oh, so this is how if you walk in, everyone's muscled up and like six, five, you kind of know you're in the right place. No, the worst times I've gone in for like the good looking guy. You know, Dana Musa, I go for hunk parts.

Yeah, I remember that. So it goes this local hunk surfer walks in. And I'm in the room with all these goodling guys going, I hope to God we're not all reading for the same thing. And they're like, what are you reading for? He doesn't have like a dopey friend. And I go, no, I'm the guy, man, surfs up. And they're like, eesh.

I go, we're reading all five scenes. They go, we're just going to read one line from one. That's all we need today. That is a trick in an audition. There's five scenes you memorize all night. it's impossible you get in you got them all ready you read the first scene and they go thank you i go well there's four other ones i'm really good in the fourth one it's the best one they're like good i think we have our answer well i would eventually i'd realize i had no power because i wasn't on

tv but they were sending me out to audition a lot so then what i would do was i would never have a picture so i'd be the guy with no eight by ten because that seemed kind of weak here's my photo so i also would crumple the script up and put it in my back pocket, even though I'd studied it and made my choices. I bring it out like, what is this again? Good angle. Where's this again? Yeah. But, you know, I read for Paul Newman, you know, and Joanne Woodward. I tested for Amadeus. I did a pilot with Seinfeld guy, Michael Richards. You wanted to play Charlie Chaplin's friend. I played, yeah, I read for Chuck. Chaplin part two.

You audition for that old movie where you hang on the clock. They had a fake clock there and you'd be like, Buster Keaton. Well, I did get tough guys with Bert Lancaster and Kurt Douglas. I swear to you, and I'm not even lying last night, my buddy goes, let's watch tough guys. No, he sent me a picture of blue thunder and he goes, how did I not see this and how I don't know, Dana was in it?

I go, I don't know. A lot of people know this. Was it a year? It was stupid. I just, I don't know what I was thinking. You know, okay, I'll read for Blue Thunder. Of course, take it. So I read it and I got a little confused. I'm reading with James Farentino. I read it and I got confused. And I ad lib a little bit. So okay. So then I drove home to the valley. I drove an hour away. There were no cell phones. I got home and they called me and said, they want you back. You know, you're in the final. I had to go back and read again. You're in the finals. I had to drive back. So then I got the silly thing. And then I was just. Quentin Wonderlove and a helicopter with a helmet A fake helicopter that was your stupid name Yeah and all my lines were literally like James

Furnino go jam him Jaffo because my nickname was just another frustrated observer Jaffo jam him and my line was David I shit you not I don't think even Daniel Day Lewis could score with this I am jamming I am jamming Cut that's good stuff too and then I got fired in front of Damn it, Jofo. Damn it Jofo. Jam!

I am jamming, Jim. Jamming up your ass, Jim. James Frentino liked a cocktail, so he had styrofoam cups this big. I thought they were water. So he gets out of the chopper. I go, fuck on. You know, he goes down the ladder. I go, and it was straight vodka.

I love it. And then basically the day I got fired, they said, Dana, come down. And the whole 100 people are there. I'm in the outfit. I got the helmet on. I take it off. I come down the fake helicopter. And they go,

you're fired so i had to walk in front of everyone the walk of shame and i went to the wardrobe guy was super nice and i i was i was a little i wanted to be fired i think that's why i got fired but i said i do comedy i'm actually kind of funny he goes he goes that's all right son put his hand on my shoulder that's okay and then eight years later right off i got off s and i was at an event and he was the wardrobe guy and he goes you were right oh that's great that that came around Isn't that a cool story? That'll trend. What about James Frantino?

Was he in my favorite show Longstreet or not? I don't remember. I was a little baby. He played, I think, a blind detective. Did he? Why are they redoing that? Blind detective, who doesn't know shit? And he's solving crimes.

Yeah. In an all-new sightless. No, Longstreet. Longstreet. A blind detective. And I remember in Bridie that said, Longstreet's a long shot to get picked up. Was that a Western? No, he had a dog and he would just...

It was around the era of Nightstalker. Darren McGavin. Oh, I would love Night So soccer. We're so fucking old. I'm sad. And I love CoJack. Yeah. Go Jack.

With the lollipop, you know? Fuck, yeah. Who loves you, kid? Who loves you, baby? Look, it was analog time. Every single, millennial Gen X, I don't even know all the flavors. They all worship the analog time.

They watch reruns of... Graze anatomy, like millions of them because there's no live, you know, all that. So there's no connectivity. Let's get to some top stories. We would talk about the Golden Gloves, but it just happened and we didn't see it. Right. Well, I'll make a retro. Mr. Nicky Glazer did great.

Nikki Glazer did great. That's a good one. All right. What's this? Read it. This is Rutgers professor says whiteness is going to have an end date. We got to take these motherfuckers out. I agree.

I agree. I mean, we've got three people right now that agree, me, you and her. I mean, I'm not literally, you know, when you think about it, like this is white. Am I white? No, I'm splotchy. No, they don't mean us. They don't mean us. So. No, there's people out there that are annoying. Yeah, we got to take these motherfuckers out. Well, it's colorful. It's very clear. It's click baity. It's click baity. And Rutgers is a very reputable university. Listen, white he's having a rough go of it lately, but let's keep going. Let's see, because we're taking a few shots. There's a woman that gave his speech and she kind of came down, but I might agree with her too.

Where's that video? Danny, you're really white. I'm like, I'm sort of blending. I'm like, if you get a close, I'm blotchy. Okay, this is New York Mayor Mandan. She works in Mandani's administration. Tenet director? I don't even know what that is.

Okay. Housing, you know, I think the reality is, is that for centuries, we've really treated property as an individualized good and not a collective good. And we are going to transition into treating it as a collective good towards a model of shared equity will require that we think about it differently. All right. It will mean that families, especially white families, but some POC families who are homeowners as well, are going to have a different relationship to property than a different relationship.

Yes, I actually saw this and my wife and I kind of went, yeah, so we're starting to foster a different relationship with our property. Ironically and bizarrely, I got a letter from the governor's office saying that Paul and I qualified to move into your house. My house. Yeah. It was just some, they put it in a computer like, how to that? or something. That's a new relationship with my property. Yeah, I am. I'm rethinking my relationship with my property, you know. What does it mean do you think, though? I don't know. I mean, I saw Dr. Chabago is this famous movie, doesn't date me too much, but the Soviet Union is forming, and they're taking over, and they just go into people's houses and go, get out. We're going to put

nine families in here. So it sounds a little bit like communism, but I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm rethinking my entire relationship with property. I don't know how many bad rooms you have, but you might be able to only have one person moving with you. You're looking at it. Superman can sleep in here. He can stay. No, I that's New York, though. I think that's that's New York and they's all pushed in with all these places. Yeah. And man, trying to figure out ways to he won the election and he's a socialist Democrat. And so he's just doing that brand. Bernie, who I kind of admire has been of that political stripe for his whole career. Don't proceed. Don't proceed. We don't have we have plenty of money, but it's not in the

right hands. But I get it. You know, people like we keep we didn't have. We didn't have famous billionaires back in the day we didn't have as many billionaires we didn't have any yeah so i don't think anyone was a bill when i grew up my friend this girl i liked her dad was a millionaire we thought at school we had right we went over to his house to see him mm-hmm i honestly wanted to see what he looked like and i swear to god we went over there and i'm like it's like seeing an alien i'm like he looks like regular people they're blending in He walks, he talks. He talks like a normal thousandaire, but he's a million.

So I thought, do you have a million dollars? Like, what would you even, where, where is it? And I'm looking in rooms. Inflation. Where's a pile of money. And then he goes, do you want to do some work on a house this summer on my roof? And I'm like, I can't ask for a million even because I think that's all he has. But I know he's going to pay us a lot.

And it was not. That was not the case. Oh, that's how he got to be a millionaire. He's a, here's 20 bucks. I'm like, to get on this mother effing fucking roof and this summer in Arizona and do anything, if you just climb up the ladder, give me 20 bucks. Yeah. No, in those days, I mean, my first job, well, first I, when I was 18, I went to McDonald's

and they said, you can sweep the parking lot. And the starting wage was a buck 35. And I said, if you give me a buck 40, I'm in right now. Right now. And they said, I got to talk to my boss. So eventually I got a job as a dishwasher at the holiday end. Guess what? 260 an hour.

You got that much more? You doubled it. 260, but it was 260 dishes an hour. I was drenched in sweat. I had a giant thing I'd run them through because it was holiday end breakfast just piles. I would eat stuff off the plates. The boss guy who hired me. came back every 20 minutes and say,

are you going to finish your shift? Because the last 10 guys tapped out. So fuck this, man. Not for 260. I'm going to drenched the sweat, cut in my hand with my whole bar in 3,000, eaten French toast that's just off a thing. I ate everything off. When I was a dishwasher, I ate everything that came through.

And when I was a bus boy, I ate everything I took off the table. Not a question. I was a bus boy too, but we called ourselves table maintenance personnel managers. You know, gave us some, you know, a little bit. Sure. A little more juice. Gave his little juice. So we were both dishwashers.

We were both busboys. And we were both on Saturday Night Live. Yeah, it's funny. We have a lot going on. It's funny. Funny little. Okay, so next one. Let's see what else we got.

Yeah, we're doing so good. We're so good. We're so funny. I'm so proud. This is just funny. Diddy and your Venezuela guy. Mm-hmm. In jail.

And Diddy's. doing his hair in braids which is hysterical i know they took my oil too he says it for the yeah so that's just a funny pun and it's a funny cartoon i forgot people don't they only if they only listen it's did he doing his hair and he said he took my oil too yeah you have to i mean simple to the point funny look last week i was observing that that trump you know he was criticizing george cluny in a kind of a trump way like he's never really been in the movie he's quite frankly not a movie star he's won two Oscars and i thought what's the ultimate it's like if uh hussein bolt attack trump trump would trump would be like he never ran very fast

he's not even very fast so you look at him he's quite frankly he's very slow you know he's quite frankly it buys him a little time when he's talking oh he never runs out he just goes goes It's unreal. What about he wants Greenland now? Well, he wanted it. He made some inroads before. And then he went, you got Canada. It was the shiny object.

And now he's back. Now, we have a treaty with Denmark regards Greenland signed in 1951 that allows us to build any kind of military base we want there. And Greenland's people today said, we'll do whatever you want, but could you ask nicely? Yeah. If Trump said, we're not going to take over. not going to blow anything up, but we could, we put some bases. We'll get the rare earth, the rare earth. And if you think about it, you look at it.

Rare earth. Is that a rare earth? We're going to get rare earth. It's not easy to say. I don't think J.D. Vance can say it. We're going to get the rare earth. We're going to give you 2% off the top. 2%.

That's a lot for Denmark. It's a little tiny country. I'm telling you. He says Greenland only has about 148 people. He always low balls. What's going on? It's got like 45,000. Yeah, that's still low.

But I do think the traditional thing is you go in, you get the rare earth and you spread it nicely with the people. Right. You caught them in. Give them a little wet the beak a little bit. But it is a little weird if like 400 years ago some people from Denmark and a canoe went there. It's like a billion miles across. We claim this for Denmark for all time. We get this. We get. I mean, it says you got to, you got to go fast. We should have gone to like Russia. We put a flag on the moon. Do we own the moon? I don't know. Do we own the moon? It's a good question. We should have said that then if we said it.

Can I ask you a question? Please. So because my mind, it's a half our time wrapping around this. So in 1969 with a slide rule and a tin can and a hope and a dream and scotch tape, we put dudes on the moon. And now with all these advancements, 75 years later, NASA finally said, We're going to put four astronauts and a thing and they're going to circle the moon and land again. Hey, it's 1968.

We did that in 1968, I believe. So what I know. They don't have the technology anymore. They lost it. I'm like, lost it. Where is it at Arby's in the parking lot? Yeah. Someone's pocket.

We had the, we had those orders. We can't be just, they fell it in a sewer pipe. By the way, we didn't have an iPhone that we don't. We've done all this stuff. we can't figure out how to get back. No, the computer. Yeah, it was like a, yeah, it's. And they had a hard line that there's no delay.

Hey, I was going on the moon. We're here, man. It's all good. But, but honestly, for must-see TV with digital television, put some dudes on the moon and some women, build a little hotel or something. Yeah, Love Island. Just call it Love Island Moon and make it the biggest show.

Love Island Moon. Love Island Moon. They don't have gravity. everything stays up the men who have a problem downstairs they don't even know because the gravity the gravity and you look at it you think about it everybody's talking about it quite frankly i think it's a great idea i like i like what he wants greenland and he goes he's like michael jackson we used to walk on those places like maxfields and he's like one of those one of those sir that's not for sale okay three of those and i want that all right send them and they're like these aren't for sale you're in a

park. I know. Well, we just have our own spin on it, but it's not boring out there in Trump land and we're making moves. We make fun of everyone. We take over. If we don't like them, we come in in the night and we have a little thing where we can turn out the lights in the city and then they're all, you know, the helicopters come in low and it's like a really, really good You're salt. By the way, our friend Marcelo Hernandez, I'm going to go, I think, see his special tonight. He is in town and he said he wants to come on. We haven't had him on shockingly.

Oh, yeah, he's great. Yeah, I just love he does. He's good on that show. He's a new Kevin Hartman. Great on the show. What was the one that we loved? Oh, he did a Sebastian, which really, really pops. His special is out, I think, now.

Yeah. That's good. All right. what other story we'll do another one even though we're doing two months we're doing so good someone has a hard out here we go a teenager is facing criminal charges after sticking googly eyes on an eighty eight thousand dollar sculpture who decided it well can't you take the googly eyes off why is what is what's why they can't because it'll chip the paint oh so the sculpture so he fucked the sculpture and by the way let's back up and say i'm an artist let's make a royal blue blue

pelican no penguin with a gut that's my next big project and uh i don't want to ruin yeah bad posture penguin sad with uh distended belly and then but i don't want anyone messing it up and then he puts in the middle of a park i always see stuff in parks i'm like we did not pay for that i hope we did not pay for that and then i don't like people ruining things but this is not Not the worst. Well, what are you going to do with the kid? Bring him to court, you know, Bill, Bill Swinson, do you, uh, how do you freely admit guilt to putting googly eyes on a distended belly plastic penguin in Wilson Park last Saturday? He pleads down to regular eyes. Yeah. I didn't even know they were Googly eyes, man. I just found, I found him on a trash can. No, they're actually on the playground and I found the Google eyes. And I said, maybe I'll attach it. to that stupid penguin thing you're out of order yeah that royal blue eyesore but artists also is it worth 88 who's deciding this dumb fee for this artwork i don't know i've changed my

mind on modern art when i was at the museum or whatever fucking you know and there was uh there was a painting that was 50 feet wide and like 15 feet tall they took up the whole thing pitch white but one red dot in the middle now give me a million dollars come i'll buy it right that's that's what you call fake odd okay it's fake odd well every when people say art is money laundering it sort of makes sense because these rich guys go back and forth and say i'll give you i bought a painting for 40 million i'm going to sell it to you for 70 million yeah you get for 100 million And that's the one thing you can't really put a price on. No, the IRIS can't say, oh, that's not worth that, you know.

Because if I buy a car, I would love to write to the IRS and say I spent $2 million on this 68 Nova. And if it's just a regular Nova, they go, no, it's worth $2,000. Instead of its art. Here's the deal. I remember Dennis telling me once, Christ's six. In the end of the day, Carvey, it's about planes and people. paintings. Now there's there's trillions of dollars sloshing around in the global economy. All these newly minted millionaires and billionaires. They've got the multiple houses.

They've got the multiple G5s, but there's only like maybe 10, five or 10 baskiots that are still available and they're rare. You know, there's a built-in scarcity. And it's kind of some of the collecting you've done. You tend to make money on these things if you have the gutts. improve it's scarce and it's real yeah yeah even baseball cards all that i do like that stuff better because there is a finite number of them but when you go to artwork and you feel like you're being clown like these people that just spray paint they have a crowd around they just throw paint on a wall or they're on a swing and i'm like is this really that hard i mean now you can use ai you can use projectors you can tape you can squeeze you can do whatever when i retire which i won't till i'm

I'm 95. But when I do, I'm going to just do visual art. Yeah. But you're actually good at it. Well, I just like it. I don't know if I'm good at it, but I do like it. And there are no rules. It's kind of like with music, you can pitch a voice. You could, the AI can do the music. It, the creativity, like right now, we should probably announce this. It's probably awkward to do it at this point. Well, I'm a digital AI reproduction of Dana Carvey. I know. I know. I look like him, really cool looking and really funny and all that, but I'm not him. And that's David's digital.

So we've presented this. No, I'm still really neat. I have chat, GBT. I have chat, THC, and I ask it to do stuff. And it goes, oh, my God, I just woke up. I can't do it. Okay, that's a pretty good. By the way, pull the blinds.

Ask me again in one hour. But at some point, that is possible. We know that people doing podcasting, their ads are read by AI. That's that's happening right now. They can do your voice and do your cadence. We do all ours. Hello. Yeah, we do all ours. We grind.

Hello. Oh, David Spade. And they go, no, Chad, GBT, no, David Spade from, you know, Tommy Boy. Who is that guy? Hello, I'm David Spade. Chat, GBT, BT. That's another. like him no david you've seen him on letterman okay let me try my next voice rack him rack him oh i'm david spade oh that's more like that's that's spade a nutshell all right let's do

one more great story one more great story i know you've got a hard out i got a heart out i'm not no actually i'm doing hotel transylvania stuff you actually have a reason to go you're going to another job i have to go somewhere yeah you're going to another job i have to go somewhere yeah you're going to Let's see. I don't know what this one is. Let's see. It says Ringo Star was at Manchester Airport. And there was a UK TikToker there called Ed Matthews. He was on live stream. All right.

Ringo Star. Ringo Starr. Yeah. Just casually walked up into the live stream and started talking to him. And he didn't even recognize who Ringo was. You won't, mate. Take a look at this. Yeah, mate.

Yeah, mate. Oh, no. Oh, you're not on the radio. You're at, brother. Where you from? I'm from Liverpool. Oh, really? I've just come from Manchester.

Ah, we must be brothers. I don't know. Is it real? Because I do that. Who is that? Oh, from Liverpool. Peace and love. Peace and love.

The boys, there we go. Peace and love. Oh, you got the balloons. Look at how you did it, Dana. Look at that. Now, I think that might be real because the guy just goes, he's too worried about his stream. Yeah.

Ringo is standing there in like an airport ready to fly or something, whatever he's doing. And the guy's, the Ringo guy's covering the little part of his face? But it is Ringo, yeah. Oh, it is Ringo. That's why it's interesting because he goes up and then he goes, oh, you must be brothers. Yeah. They would like me brothers, piece of love. By the way, you wouldn't give that fake of a laugh to a real beetle.

He goes, we must be brothers. And he goes, ha, ha, ha. I'd be like, ah, we can't be brothers, you know. Yeah, I'd pop a stitch on that one. And then he kind of drifts off. And then he's reading the stream and he goes, Beatle, Ringo. What do you, what do you say? He goes, wringo what?

And he's like, oh, that was Ringo. Now, is it a riveting story? No. That's not what we do here. Well, I read a thing the other day and it was, I think it was Sean Lennon being worried that the Beatles could be forgotten. Will the Beatles be forgotten? And it'll be a long time. because Beethoven and, you know, Mozart haven't been forgotten.

There's still tribute bands for Beethoven. The Beatles are something that happened that shouldn't have happened. Even to them, it's too much variety, too much exploratory music, too many barriers, crash through, too much influence on music. So I'm sorry, I'm a Beatle fan. And you know what's weird? I'm the only one. There's only one.

I'm the final one. Conan a little bit. You. Well, the B, yeah, I am a big fan. Did Beethoven, Beethoven is so,

so influential. They named a dog movie after him. Well, and also, his greatest composition is literally, bum, bum, bum, bum,

bum, bum, bum, he did it with one finger. He was having a soda pop on the other side. Soie pop. Hey, Tobin, you got a new song? Yeah, I think a bum, bum, bum, bump, bump, bump.

That's genius. No, they'll never forget it. That's it. And then, Mozart's like, I read for Amadeus. I tested for Amadeus. I was very close to getting that part.

The guy who played Mozart's favorite movie. Really? Mm-hmm. Huh. Hmm. She told Dustin Hoffman, you were in Tutsi, which is my third

favorite movie or something. Tutsi really holds up for the type of movie. Tutsi is great. Tutsi. Charles Durning. I love Tutsi. I don't care where you're from. You'll laugh at Tutsi. Yeah, you'll love Dusty in that. Dusty was so good in that. No. Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. It's Adam Sandler as Benjamin and the graduate. All right. Let's wrap up. I think we did good. I was going to say I'm with Nikki this weekend in Vegas, if anybody's out there. And after that, it's Wisco, Pittsburgh, Nashville.

There's a lot of them. This weekend at Caesar's Palace in Vegas, which, by the way, I did a corporate date. And there's an incredible theater. And it's a theater. Did you play the Coliseum? Yeah. And the stage is slightly goes like that. But it's such a cliche.

But there's no bad seat in the house. The way they built it. everyone feels like they're right on top you. So it's great for the audience and great for you. We did promos in there and I was like, oh, this is it. This is so cool. But I think I went to see someone there and I was like, this place is going off. It's cool.

It's a very, it's probably the coolest venue. It's big, but it's not too big. You know, that's what she said. So next time, I will tell you how it went. We'll talk about it. Oh, excellent. All right. Well, okay.

Have a good day. Happy anniversary. and uh yeah we'll um we'll have a full report next time we talk goodbye everybody hey guys if you're loving this podcast which you are be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app give us review five-star rating and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend if you're watching this episode on youtube please subscribe we're on video now fly on the wall is presented by audacity and executive produced by dana carvey and david hather santoro Mattie Sprung Kaiser and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.

Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us any questions to be asked, and

on the show, you can email us at fly on the wall at odyssey.com. That's A-U-D-A-C-Y-I-I-com.