Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Hank Azaria Talks Conan, Walken, Pitt, and Springsteen

Episode Date: May 7, 2026

Hank Azaria joins the guys to discuss the Simpsons, why he never auditioned for SNL, and taking acting classes alongside Brad Pitt and Sharon Stone. They also swap Christopher Walken stories, marvel at Conan O’Brien’s rise from Simpsons writer to talk show host, and dissect how Moe Szyslak is a perfect combination of young Al Pacino and Bruce Springsteen. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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This is where the question for you, because it's like, you don't want to do that. It's crazy over there. You're going to enter a situation that is crazy political, and you're going to be like a lamb at the slaughter in there. I wanted to act, not just because I enjoyed the voices like we were talking about earlier, but it was a deeper, darker, like,

I really wasn't too comfortable being myself. I preferred being other people. And so to get up and, like, Roy's whole thing was, If you want to really act well on stage or film or TV, you have to be willing to expose yourself to, like, really be yourself in front of people, which I absolutely could not do. I couldn't do it. I showed my 16-year-old son, the godfather for the first time. So I've been working on my video calling on a profession. It's good for disappointing. His name's Halsey.

Helvitori. Come over here. Hank Azaria. Hank Azaria is in most things you see. He's in a lot of movies, a lot of TV shows. And of course, he's the full course, the full Monty of 800 episodes of The Simpsons. He's in each and every one since 1980. He's very good. He did a show Brock Meyer that was very well received.

He's been in and out. I've seen him over the years. What a cool dude. And what a great time we had, just blowing it up with him. Yeah. He's got a great ear and he just throws his voices out. And it's from some of his characters. It's really fun, fun to watch.

Oh, yeah, I did a lot of impressions. Yeah, impressions, too. We'll get into the old-timey impressions. Oh, yeah, that's right. I'll just say two words for you, people who were born in the 50s, Boris Karloff. Oh, that's right. That's right. All right.

We'll have a good time with them. You'll have some laughs. Hank Azaria. Hello. I got pitched a script once where it was, I think it was a Japanese woman who was a thought that maybe I was her dad in the script. I like that. In the script? The script.

She was seeking me and thought maybe I was her dad. I don't know. I have a story. We should roll because I have a story along. We are officially. Once I pop on, it's, it's on. We were riveting. We had some pretty cool stuff going. I know. I'm like, I don't, I feel bad. They're going to waste it.

But I think we're still locked and loaded. Hank. Hello. Thanks for coming on our show. We're really happy to see you. I feel like you're a brother from another mother. Why are you apologizing? Did I apologize? I thought you said. I interrupted you. Oh, no.

It's a reflex. My brother from another mother, because when I hear you and I see you do these things and you inhabit them and I just totally relate to how much fun it is and that certain voices make you really happy, you know, more than other voices. Yes. That's a tremendous compliment coming from you. And, yeah, I know you, I've, you know, enjoyed your voices a lot over the years. Thank you.

Yeah, incredible. What about this voice? That's a good voice. That leads me to a sword. David, we used to run into each other a lot back in the day. And you used to say to me. Please something funny. He used to say to me, hey, go, hey, could I do voices on The Simpsons?

Listen. Bebe, be, be, be, be, be, be, me. That's good one. That's good. You need that. By the way, what a dumb thing. say to the guy. Everyone's like, can I have me on that, man? I don't think you really were being scared. I think you were just having a little fun.

Even though the Simpsons is still on, I don't know if you know this, still on. I knew that. And it's still funny. That's the hardest part. Yeah, the writers do an amazing job. They really do. I don't know where they reach for some strange storylines these days, but you can't blame them after like 800. They have to. I think when Conan left, I think he was secretly hoping it would all collapse. That was the craziest thing, like, that he, you know, left to host a late-night talk show. I mean, he had never even done stand-up. I know.

It was a pretty out-of-the-blue, even though we knew him, we knew he was funny, but for Lorne and, like, who's it going to be. And Conan, and to have it work. Yeah, it was who was the head of NBC that just decided was it Warren Littlefield? I was very inside. Yeah. It wasn't tartar sauce. He was gone. Brandon Tartersauce.

Brandon Taras sauce. Yeah, that I know. That was his birth name. They covered it up. Fun fact. But yeah, Conan and I were writing Hans and Franz the Gurley Mandelma movie. And they were considering me to do that job. And I was completely conflict.

did, you know, at that time. And then when Conan got it, because you hung out with him enough, it kind of made sense. And then, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, he was the only writer at The Simpsons that would like sort of work the room with the voice act. Like, you know, you knew Conan was hilarious. Whereas the other guys that was sort of a Harvard hasty putting, you know, almost MIT vibe to approach things.

Kind of slightly tortured. Yeah. Yeah, sort of on the spectrum. Petra Me and, you know, but Conan was just hilarious. But remember, do you guys know Jake Hogan? Remember, you guys know Jay Cogan? Writer? Was he, was he on SNL for a while?

Or there were a couple that came from S&L, George. George Meyer. George Meyer, yeah, which Robert Spagel used to say, because George was very hard on the show itself. And I was there in my first year. And so he would kind of go around, kind of as a joke, can go, show dying. Do you know that?

That became famous. We knew that at the Simpsons. Oh, it matriculated over there. Yeah, I think there were another couple of S&L writers that came to the Simpsons and they sort of, they busted George on that. Yeah. And we picked it up as sort of a catchphrase. Show dying.

Farewell show. So long. And get up and act out like the voices or does he just pitch ideas? he wouldn't do he's not a voice guy really but no he would just neither he would just kind of break into comedy

you know yeah when we were recording he just would just be hilarious now he would violently convulsed I mean Conan would be standing in there and he's just doing violently convoy yeah I'd be like

the guy's like what it was like you know it's like a sudden convulsion oh he would snap his head a little bit like yeah yeah Was it from S&L to the Simpsons or the other way around? I think Conan is S&L to the Simpsons for Conan? Because then I think he went straight from the Simpsons to his late night. The show.

Oh, okay. But Conan would do things like maybe, when he'd do this at S&L, he would just kind of yell out non-sequiters. Sure. In the writer's room. And then they would actually, then he'd like, it was like a game to turn it into an actual bit. Like he kept, he kept saying,

Jub job, job. He was like, what are you saying? And he just would say, and then that became like the name of Patty and Selma's pet lizard or something. He just would like free associate and turn him into bits. Yeah, he grabbed me and go,

what do you think you're doing on the side of the show, dude? Like everything was like bitsy stuff, you know? But it was funny because also I was new and he knew he could push me around. Did he? Did he? What, it was always just a game? It was six to 25. He could push a lot of it.

He was 12, one. Oh, three. He's just under seven feet, 302. Well, that brings me actually to a question I want to ask you guys. Please. We love questions. See, I really do admire you both very much. And I love SNL, you know, I think I was 11 in 1975 when SNL premiered.

Yes, good. Yeah. And it premiered very close to when PBS first aired Monty Python as well. We were like right next to each other. Yep, I remember that whole era, those two. Yes. And it was totally blew my, I couldn't believe adults could be that silly and smart and funny. Like gave me hope for the world, literally those two shows.

And so, you know, SNL to me, it still has this, like, mythic. It's the apex of comedy to me. And, you know, I always wanted a, I never auditioned. I don't know why I never got myself to. together to do it. I think partly it's because I didn't start writing until much too late into my life, you know, to like figure it out. And then I was dying to host. Like, I was supposed to host. I had this NBC show a long time ago. And then the show got canceled like right away. So they canceled it. And I was like, I do these charity poker things sometimes. And I was playing in a game at the table was like, Brian Cranston and John Hamm and Amy Schuels. and Don Cheadle, and I can't remember who else. And they're all talking about, they're all trading stories about when they hosted SNL.

And after about 10 minutes, I went, yeah, I, I think I'm the only one here that's never hosted the show. And so then for the rest of the game, every time I lost the hand, it was, maybe if you'd hosted, that hand might have gone better for you. But then there was a time. That was John Hamm, right? That was Ham.

Yeah, because that's his sense of humor. Everybody, everybody happily joined in on it. But then there was a time when I was like in my mid-30s. I was like, you know what? I want to like go back. I'm going to audition. I'm just going to get my shit together. I know I'm old, but I'm going to just get my shit together and audition.

And my agent forbade me from doing it. This is where the question for you, because it's like, you don't want to do that. It's crazy over there. You're going to enter a situation that is crazy political. And you're going to be like a lambie. at the slaughter in there. You know, was that around the Chris Alley years, Janine Garoflo?

I wonder when it would be because... Would it be 95? Would it be the rep of like... I might have been there. It was like 2000, 2001, 2002 in there. Okay. So Will Ferrell had arrived and was about to exit, I guess. Well, was it as hard as all that you do hear stories

about how it could be really rough? Yeah, I would just say it all depends. I mean, I think if your skill set seems perfectly adapted for it. So it's kind of like it's still based on characters, reoccurring characters, voices, you know. So I don't know. It would be very interesting to see you host it. I put you on the cast now. I mean, you know, there is no.

That's not what this is about for me. If you can make a couple of calls, I would highly appreciate it. Pass would be fun for you. Hosting would be fun also. Lauren, what are you doing? I'm just looking at the list of show folk the ones that got away.

Hank Azaria never just really really like really wanted him but his agent didn't want him down. Cockblock me. Cockblock me. No, I never got that far. Hey Ontario, come on down to BetMGM Casino

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BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Do you, yeah, that's so interesting because I thought that I couldn't find it because I was just looking around, you know, Hanka's area. host SNL, I thought, you know, there's something had to have been there. Was there a point where you go, this is the time I probably would have? It was that, I had this NBC show. Okay. And I was all over it. I'm like, okay, I'm on NBC show. So this is a natural. Same network.

And they did. They had set it up. And then it got canceled. Like, with one of those, like, made seven, they aired two and goodbye. Shit. I did an animated show for NBC and they said, Dana's buddy, Brad Gray, made a deal to put on NBC. And I'm like, like, this is about a deadbeat dad. It's not like a family show. It's a cartoon. It's weird.

I said, maybe it's more for HBO. And they're like, he goes, no, I got to deal with NBC. We'll do it. So it, like, helped him in a weird way. Meanwhile, NBC was like, this isn't really a family show. They called me ahead of time. It's airing in July. We're going to air two episodes back to back and cancel it.

And I was like, that, that gives to a. But what if it kills it? And they're like, it won't. Anyway, so two and out. And I was like, oh, my God. I've had two of those. to rough almost exactly everything i ever did failed everything i ever did failed except except in s&l and wayne's world every pilot every series everything i'm just i don't want to i'm just sort of curious

was there potentially any conflict of interest with this person that said oh you don't want to do s and l are you no i think he was being genuine okay so i don't feel i regret it i think he felt like it would have been a step back in my career you know and i disagree. I should have had more balls. Well, Phil. Phil Hartman, our awesome friend. You would have been like a Phil. He was 38 and didn't even mean a thing.

Because we're always, a lot of times, even today's cast, they're like, you know, Marcelo's 28 and he's playing somebody who's 60, you know what I mean? It's usually you're aging up. But Phil was just perfect. You know? Used to be they'd go, we need a dad type. We need a younger, but now everybody

game show host, dad, straight man to the host. And also can do all these other things you ask them to do. I don't want you have any regrets, though, because you've had, are having such an amazing career in my mind. It's too, it's too late. I have the regrets.

I think if I wrote more, I would have just done, I would have said, screw you. I'm just going to put together something to do it, even just for fun. Would you have hated if you auditioned and didn't get it? well i mean i'm used to will aren't we all used to that at this point actually you never think you're going to get no if you never audition you never get you know you never lose right you just do it and you walk away and you and they call and you go what's this about didn't you have an audition today and i go oh i already wrote it off as it's not happening and they're like no it's happening i'm like oh

wait let me look what was it again so you know i'm the opposite i'm like all over it to a point where i have to calm down when i started i was like i when i was in acting class Obviously, I didn't finish all of them. But the, wasn't I in class with you for a while? Was I, was that Ivana? Yes. Ivana and Roy London.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's where you said the Simpsons thing. Maybe that's because Roy, the Roy London. Yeah. I actually didn't get Roy London, Hank. I got passed down. Roy London.

JV. Roy London because Brad was a, Brad Pitt was with our management and they said go to and Shanling. went to Roy London, watched. Like he was the best. And I go, this would be great. And they go, great.

You're going to go over here in this room. And this is the spillover room. And it was Ivana. Well, in fairness, everybody started that way, David. Oh, is that what happened? Oh, you don't start with Roy. You're like, yeah, you had to do like the farm system. And then they would bring you up.

I stayed in AAA. But actually, Ivan, it was good. I liked her. She was great. Yeah. Yeah. And she got me to do better. Yeah.

So Roy London, how would you describe his, because, I met him a few times, and his philosophy of acting was so unique, I thought. And I don't know if you, how will you describe it? I'd have a way to describe it, but I don't want to hear you. Well, I was in there. I really needed him badly because I was in there for like three years. And I went because I was already on The Simpsons and had done a few things. And Roy, like, sized me up right away.

Once I got out of Ivana and said, okay, you're not allowed to do any voices or even be particularly funny in here. You're just going to be yourself. And I was like, oh, that's terrible. Yeah, what's that? That's terrible. Well, I didn't even realize. I realized that I, you know, I'm a mimic at heart. That's really the basis of everything for me.

And I wanted to act not just because I enjoyed the voices like we were talking about earlier, but it was a deeper, darker, like, I really wasn't too comfortable being myself. I preferred being other people. And so to get up and, Roy's whole thing was, if you want to really act well on stage or film or TV, you have to be willing to expose yourself, like really be yourself in front of people,

which I absolutely could not do. I couldn't do it. And neither could Peter Sellers. Yes. It's true. Imposter syndrome. Yes, there's certain about, do you, I mean, you know,

Dana, are you like that at all? Like, do you truly? Totally. Yeah. I was cast in things. I had a teen-notto phase for about three weeks. So I was cast in things as the straight man playing myself. And I was just absolutely awful. But the lines were like when I did a sitcom with Mickey Rooney and Nathan Lane in New York, I was the straight man. And the first day at the read through, Mickey pointed at me, said, you're the straight man. You know, I'd been doing stand-up and everything. You hear me? Bang. Give him no jokes. So I would just, my question, I would ask questions. I was just the guy going, what are you doing? When's he coming home? And I sucked.

I was terrible. But yeah, it's fun to do a character. I think a lot of people, like Roblo said he would love to be in prosthetics and playing a character more than anything else. He's more a version of himself. Yeah, it's the opposite. I mean, you can, you're so versatile that you could do, but you've said a lot of. lot of things where you're acting as a as yourself using yourself and you're great thanks to roy i mean i did have a breakthrough in there one day um yeah yeah what happened what was the breakthrough

you know he finally like i was there for like three years and he started everybody in that class would have their turn maybe two three times a year where you were sort of the focus you know uh it wouldn't be like you'd spend they spend the he'd spend the whole three by the way i was in class when Brad Pitt had his breakthrough. That was an unbelievable thing to see. Oh, it was like one day, one class. He didn't come much, but yeah, he was like sort of having a little trouble. And then Roy just kind of said this or that.

And all of a sudden you saw Brad Pitt appear before your eyes. I saw Sharon Stone have a similar breakthrough in that class. Sharon Stone was almost the point where she was in there for months and you almost, you know, that person in class you want to kind of pull him aside and say, maybe you shouldn't do this because I don't know that you're getting the hangables. It's not getting better, yeah. She was like, in my opinion,

she was kind of one of those people. And then one day, she just like had this breakthrough and she was unbelievable in this scene. And like ever after, she was incredible. But Roy, so I'm up there in front of Roy. And I'm doing, we're doing a scene from a play a Lanford Wilson play called Burnness

that Malcovich, actually, the aforementioned made. made famous one Broadway. And doing the scene, and he goes there, right there. I would do a line and go, what happened? You're going along, fine. And then it's like you jump out of your body. Like, what happens to you?

I was like, to be honest, I hear myself give like a tinny line reading. I think in my mind I was trying to do like my version of how I imagined Malcovic would do the scene because that's my schick, you know? Not like I was imitating him, but. But it's still not exactly genuine, right? That's how Nicholas Cage works. Is that right? Yeah.

He just says in this next scene, I'm going to do Daniel Day Lewis. I go, really? And so it's kind of a wide shot with a woman. He comes in, he drops to his knees. He's going to do Daniel Day Lewis from the name of the father. And he doesn't tell the director or anybody. He just comes in, drop to his knees. Why?

Why? Why? Total commitment. You know, yeah. So that's how he does it. He just thinks acting should be an art form rather than, just realism. Well, I'm kind of with him on that.

Like, I'll, you can do that to play around or try a thing or a weird take or, you know, sometimes just having another actor in mind. You know, Woody Allen used to say that he thought he was doing such a direct Bob Hope impression that people are going to bust him on it. Yeah. You know, but Bob Hope and his mind through a Woody Allen filter is quite a unique thing. I didn't even cross the moment. I get the connection.

But I know that Woody was, it was. different. But it was this is kind of pause, you know, right before because I, why are we quietly humping, you know? Yes. It's in Bob Hope is like, yes, I got to go. He's sort of scared. Right. The nervous

coward character. Yeah. Yeah. And and halting speech before the fear comes out. It's just the fact that I'm terrified might get in our way, you know, all that stuff. I have a good Woody Island story too that I can tell you. That's what I went.

Right. Roy said. Please. He gave this amazing thing. He said, so I heard myself give a bad line reading and I like froze and I basically wanted to quit acting in that moment, let alone the scene. And Roy tells me this story, he goes, look, when I was like 15 years old, there's Roy talking. I'm at the, my, I love my dad very much. And I was having lunch with my mother at our country club.

And I see my dad coming into the 18th hole in the golf green. And he's finishing his round at golf. And me and my mom see him grab his heart and fall to the ground on the 18th green. And by the time we got to him, he was gone. He was dead. And he said, now that was 35 years ago when he told the story. He said, sometimes when I tell that story, I'm filled with emotion as if it just happened. You know, and sometimes I'm just reporting a thing that was really painful for me.

But I don't have much emotional connection to it because it's been a long time. time. And he said, he said to me, that's what acting is. He said, you're not, some takes or some nights on stage, you're going to really feel it and just be in there. And he said, in some nights, you're not. He said, but instead of, like, listening to yourself, be in it or not, if you just, you said, sometimes when I, every time that I tell that story, though, to somebody, they understand how devastating it was for me, whether I'm filled with emotion or not. He said, as an actor, if you don't feel it, just make sure your scene partner gets where you're coming from. And it's a way to completely relock back into the scene.

It's okay to report on life as an actor on stage too. And after that, I was totally freed up to like, you know, even when I felt like I sucked, I felt like I could still stay in the scene and make something that work. Interesting, yeah. Yeah. It's good. You picked up a lot and it really, really helped. Oh, I couldn't do, I couldn't have done anything really.

really, it made all my Simpsons characters funnier because I felt like I, like I said of Jeff, just doing Chief Wiggum, which was just a fun voice. This is just my impression of Mel Blank's impression of Edward G. Robinson, you know. But then

all of a sudden I was like, well, what if I really were a cop? How would I really handle? I felt like I could put myself more into these even stupid characters. And it made things funnier and better, which was something I think you do. naturally, Dana, in these voices. Did you ever have to feel like you had to step up the acting

or once you got the voice, you just clicked in? Kind of depends on the character. I mean, I think for me, like with George Bush Sr., I was just trying to learn it with the audience. I didn't have a very good one when I first was assigned it because my character won the election. And so I was very, you know, and then as I went further, I was more playful with it

because I was in a one shot and the studio was quiet. There wasn't any editing where I'd throw anyone else off. So I said, that area, that thing. And then I would start tagging it. And then it became,

it literally became probably, or two years before, we're not going to do it. Before I, he left, it was like, nah, God do it.

And it worked because the audience is coming with me. But if I, when I was doing Jimmy Stewart and it's a wonderful life parody, I was just trying to be a really good Jimmy Stewart actor.

Completely channeling him as much as I could. And sometimes you just feel it when you're doing a character. You feel their earnestness in Jimmy Stewart's thing. Everything is just sincere, you know, at least in it's a wonderful life. Yeah. Everything is just sincere. Well, we have Hank Azero on here. And a lot of people are saying a lot of nice things about it.

So I don't know. I mean, do you ever do like just, why don't you do a special with where you do sketches? I get, I did, I've written a one man show. I've actually become one of those people. Yeah. Well, that's kind of close what he's saying anyway. That's not bad. Actually, it's pretty, it kind of talks about what I just told you about that.

I think class thing. And I go in a lot of kind of, you know, as one man show. shows well sort of darker things about how it was the things that were funny weren't so funny and how it was equally my desire to be anybody else with myself that drove me to do characters and voices. Yeah. So yeah, I did that. I hopefully put that up in New York this year.

Let's put it up. Oh, really? Yeah. Do you want to give us the title of it? Hank. I think it's called listen, never mind, which is what my mother used to say to me all the time. Listen, never mind. She's saying, listen, never mind.

Yes. No, she said, that's funny. Well, she was the most dismissive person I ever knew. And she had a dismissive catchphrase, which was, listen, never mind. Oh, never mind. It's not worth it. Well, it's like, Mama, I'm really hungry. Listen, never mind.

There's people starving. But they also didn't make any sense. Like, Mama, I think I might have twisted my ankle. Listen, never mind. almost yam Kippewa, which doesn't make any sense, but I like the young people are starving. You're like, do I have to join them? Can I eat? And then they're still starving.

Exactly. You're going to play a lot of different characters in the play? Yeah. It's really like a life story. It's like a lot of the origins of the voices. This was that guy and that was that person. And, you know, stuff like I was, I, you know, I threw a young, young Al Pacino impression, you know, Godfather, Ralph, That's a good one.

I'm dying here. Everybody's coming down on me. Yeah, I love it. I was doing a play in West Hollywood when I got the Simpsons audition. I was playing a drug dealer, the one-aff voice. So I auditioned for Mo, the bartender, with this voice. And they said, can you make it gravelly? We like the voice.

And so to me, gravely is Bruce Springsteen. I've been imitating since I was 15 years old. That's fantastic. If you take Young Al, but you know one in, and Bruce Springsteen and the other, and you mix them, right in the middle there, that's motor bartender. He's a mash up there. So it's a lot of that kind of relaying little origins of voices like that.

People love that stuff. I love it. Kids do enjoy that. In the early days of when Trump came out, I was on some talk show. And I said it's really, it's Regis Filman. and Brando coming together, you know?

Anyway, you're ready for this? And then, I want to tell you, it was just, well, anyway, you got to, you know, I mean, you can see how those two together. I showed my 16-year-old son, the godfather, for the first time. So I've been working on my Mito Carleone impression.

Oh, good. It's good for disciplining you more. His name's house. Helvitori. Come over here. Me and Dana were just talking about Brando. in the field at the end when he like the kids playing

when he dies with the teeth and you're like we were just saying I don't even know if they knew what they were doing that Taye Coppola's like do whatever you want on this one

you know and in your mind is Brando the greatest film actor or or you have another favorite good one

well he was so all over the place there were some that were just baffling I mean Vito Croyon he's definitely one of the best ever and he was to me like in streetcar and on the waterfront he was way ahead of his time so was Jimmy Stewart actually in my opinion like his performance in its wonderful life

was breathtakingly realistic in an era when they all sounded like this they all sounded like you know oh that's right yeah but oh in the darkness before his nervous breakdown with the with you saying, why do I have to have all these kids? I mean, the movie is way heavier than people think. And the theme of the movie is so evergreen.

I mean, just. It was a flop too. Nobody was so ahead of his time. Nobody liked it when it came out. Capricorn, they called it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's a wonderful life you're talking about? Yeah.

Yeah, bombed, basically. Flop. Yeah. Yeah, just get it out of here. Then they sold the damn, um, come. Get that movie out of my theater. I think it only really has. had its life by the time it became public domain, I think.

TV. Where everyone could just see it. I think they're burning it off at Christmas or something. Maybe I heard this too. And then everyone got into it. Yeah. You know, the Grinch never worked again after that one. All right, whatever.

You mean the Borick-Call-off, Green? No, just the Grinch. There have been a lot of Grinchers. There have been a lot of Grinchers. I feel a bit. I like those old tiny actors, as Bill Hader calls them. But I do a bit about the world's first sociopath. People know they had mental problems in ancient times.

And I'm just using Peter Lorry and no one has busted me on it. You know, like just they go, where's, where's that Steve? I don't know. What's that hand coming out of the ground? It's Steve. I killed him. Am I weird? I don't know.

But you got to stop that. So anyway, it's just you can use those characters and no one really has. I have. Oh, yeah, let me hear. I get Boris Coloff. I was incredible. Still a movie. Now, I could have a museum tool. Oh, yeah. Where you were?

Hello? That was a joke. I just went, should I do, Boris Coloff? He was the original money. And Ben cracked up and said, no, you have to do that. It's like, really? So, yeah, and if Peter, Laurie, you can use this for sure.

But, Professor Frank is just. just a naughty professor, the giant Lewis version, of course. Yeah, they're so old that nobody, I think their original voices. I know, that's a really great use of your gift. Lou the cop is Stallone, is that already said? Yeah, Lou the cop wins. A bad Stallone, you know. And a little towed down, Stallone.

Yeah, it's very nasely there. When you, and you do people like that, like Boris Karloff, is it kind of informed, like, what was this? in that guy's brain that somehow he decided to talk like that, because it's almost feminine or bizarre. They took some swings back then. Like, what does, where is, who is that person this talking like? I mean, I think that's just the way he talked.

I really do. It's very compelling. You know, those guys are very distinct. I mean, they were Lori and Karloff, I'm big fans of both them. They were unbelievable actor. They were just, oh, yeah. Talk about, you know, free to be themselves. on camera they were just like and they they brought a lot of you know reality and grit to these

weird old fashion things yeah i mean there's it's it it's sort of i don't know if it's a trope at this point but doing for young impressionist doing modern movie stars i i just make a joke that i i do a timothy shallamee but i just go what's up man you know i'm not to do it at all but uh there was a cavalcade you know between john wayne and kirk douglas and all those old movie stars, they just had really weird voices. Do we have the same amount of... Who's today that's got a very interesting... Who's Kerry Grant?

Who's the guy who talks like this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't have one. We don't have... Carrie Grant was great with that. Well, I don't believe it. In my... I used to do Eric Roberts.

Oh, yeah. That's a good one. Fucking Greenwich Village, man. Yeah, yeah. They cut off my fucking... Some charlie. Fucking dumb. I used to do

Mickey Rourke too. I used to like to do me. Oh really? I know what you're doing. Counselor, but don't do it. It's from body heat. Yeah, body heat. Body heat.

You know, Popper Greenwich for the diner, great movies. Yeah. Let me do it. I do it for you for the counselor. And then this thing, he kept using in all his movies, right?

Well, but now Mickey sounds like, why do all the, Why do old actors end up sounding like this? What is this? You know, like Pacino was like this, you know? And now Al sounds like this. What is that? Maybe they're projecting a fainter voice or something.

I have a theory that as the testosterone goes down and their older gentlemen, they make their voice super alpha, you know? Hey, I'm 97. How are you doing? You know, it's like, I guess that's the... Great ass. Exactly. I hope it doesn't happen to me.

It's all I... Here's another thing I want to ask you about. Does it seem like most actors get more theatrical movies stars, like Al Pacino, which I love Scarface. I'm possessed by it, actually, as an operatic movie. Watched out of all that stuff. And then Christopher Walken, also, if you see him in the Woody Allen movie and where he kind of made a character out of him, But those are sort of recent times, big, big time, big voices, actors. I don't know.

Do they, I mean, Daniel, Jeff Goldblum, sort of similar. Yeah. Some of them do. I mean, some of them get more subtle. You ask me, I mean, Daniel A. Lewis is amazing. I personally think Robert Downey Jr. is maybe the American genius of our time. I mean, I know he's Iron Man and everything. And that's what we think of him is now.

But I don't. There's nothing the guy can't. do, really. Yeah, he's, he's, he's, he's freaky good. But yeah, Chris Walker, I don't know, he's amazing. Like some of these guys just real, Shatner, they realize that they're sort of bigger than life and they lean into it. Like Nicholson sort of did the same thing later in his career.

Once people pick up on it, they almost turn into that more. They turn into the impression more. Yeah. Well, the rhythm of what Christopher Walken did is just so effective. I don't know waiting for the wood. I mean, it's like it's a brilliant song. I look at him as musically, just brilliant. Talks and haikus.

Which he is gifted that way. He comes from musical theater. I really wonder, I worked with them once. I wanted to ask him, but I never got up the nerve. I'm like, do you plan this shit? Or is it just what comes out? You know what I mean? Yeah.

Or does everyone expect this is how we're hiring? you, we want you to sound like this because it's so... Was he improvising, you mean, or just doing the rhythm of that voice in such a... He would... I mean, I didn't work with him much, but he would... No, he was pretty much stuck to the script and... Yeah. It was kind of a little different each time. But it's just that delivery. I just, I wondered if he planted it out. Although, did you see him in Severance? Yes. Yeah. It was very small. Yeah. Yeah. He can do it. whatever he wants.

Yeah. I love him. I did. I was, he was in Wayne's World 2, and that was kind of a thrill at the time. I'm dressed as Garth, and then he would come up,

and his first line was Garth. And the way he would say it was so like he was going to kill me. Gath, long, long pause, you know. So I decided to do Lou Costello, and Mike and I both went,

you know, one of the, that thing of, fear but gath it's like a minute it's got three syllables that kills me when i run into him he says he sounds like him to me in the brief times like that it's not like only when he's on camera he he he was asking me if i ever worked with an actor dog and uh oh yeah he's remember he caught me off But he was doing pauses. It was an odd question.

And then he continued to ask questions. And I was like, this is great. And I wish this was shot. Everything he's saying is funny. He does. He is really, he does have that rhythm in real life. Yeah.

He asked you, did you ever work with an actor dog? Yeah. Yes, a lot of stuff. We were waiting for a scene and we were in the dark. And there was about four characters in there waiting for action. And they're like holding. And there's a pause.

And he's in the dark. And then he goes, David, I can't really do him. He goes, hey, did you ever work with an act of dog? And I go, we're doing it. I go, I have. There is. That's the funniest part. I go, there is one in this movie.

Acted dog. And he goes, he goes, they're good. They really, they know what to do. They're well trained. I go, yeah. And then he paused. And he goes. hey, have you ever worked with an actor cat?

And I go, an actor cat? I go, no, I don't. And then we're all kind of giggling going, is he serious? I don't think so because he goes, he goes, they're no good because you tell them what to do and they don't do it. But if you yell or something to an actor cat, they jump. But that's every cat would do that. He'll go into the details. And I go, yeah.

And then he goes, ever work with an actor mouse? And I go, I don't think there are that many. She's making it up. I did mouse trap. Remember mouse trap? Oh, yeah. Nathan Lane? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And who was the other guy in that? It wasn't Broderick, by the minute. Matthew Broderick, no. So he goes, you tell a mouse to go up, take a beat and go to the right and they do it. They're smart. He thinks they're smarter than cats, which they maybe are. And then once he's getting into how smart the actor mouses are, then they go rolling.

And then we never, never came up again. Did you ever work with Anthony Hopkins? He's another character. I never did. But I know people who collect Nathan Lane stories. It was Lee Evans, by the way. Oh, that's a deep house. Oh, yeah.

Mouse hunt with Nathan Lane. Oh, he's a mouse trap. Yeah, yeah. I just forgot. Nathan Lane's stories. Oh, I just said Anthony Hopkins is also. No, he's on, yeah, he's got to go up there.

Reads the script 200 times. Does no research nothing. He said 200 times. He has the entire script memorized. He had a Polaroid. This is in the early 90s of his character. And he took it out of his pocket. It was kind of crumpled up Polaroid shot of himself.

And they're going, and he would just put it up against his. face, look at it, and then put it on his face and go, and then put it back in, and then he would be the character. So he's got his own way of doing it. That's like kind of a lector-like. I know, there was a little bit of that Dennis Hopper movie. What was that one?

Blue velvet. A blue velvet. Yeah, the definition. Yeah, there's people who collect Chris Walken stories, you know. Yeah. Like, you know that actor Titus Welliver? I just played that great detective series. Sounds like a fake name.

Books. Anyway, he does an unbelievably good walking impression. And apparently like when he and Grace Jones were shooting that Bond movie where they played like villains together. You know, he had like, Grace Jones had like blonde hair. Yeah. They're shooting like in the Swiss Alps or something. And he and Grace Jones walked into some.

you know local little tavern or whatever and you can imagine and he had like white hair i think and she had and uh so the locals all kind of turn around and stared at them yeah as you might imagine and apparently chris walkin broke the ice with coltlaw for everyone there's no story you could you could say where you'd have to say which one is real which one is a fake walking story no it's yeah Also, I think Titus does happen to him personally. He was doing some film with him and it was their day off. I got this from the person though.

This wasn't like a secondhand story. And they're shooting somewhere and it's the day off. And Chris is, they're walking somewhere and Chris is like waiting. He's in the river like he's in a creek or something. He's just standing in water, you know, like a pool or I don't know where he was. but it was odd. And they said, hey, Chris, are you okay? Because he was just standing in there.

And apparently went, today, I am an alligator. Today, I'm an alligator. Yeah, today. All right, we're back in five. I was hanging out with him for this photo shoot in New York. It just ended up on a couch with him for like an hour. And he was just interesting. He saw my phone.

Don't have a phone. No. Do you have TV? Don't watch it night. No. You don't watch TV? What do you do? What do you do at night?

He goes, magazines. Magazines. Every night you read, like, that's how I'm trying. And then I asked him, do you paint? And he goes, of course I paint. All old actors paint. That's funny. Some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life have been spent like that,

like in-between takes with legendary actors or... Like who? You just run out a small talk after like two or three days and then, you know, like Gene Hackman, for example. Oh, wow. Oh, is that the bird cage? Yeah. Oh, my God.

Gene Hackman. That incredible movie, perfect movie. You were great in that. Thank you very much. Mike Nichols, amazing. But yeah, Gene Hackman, you know, he just doesn't suffer fools, really, which you turn into around. I get very, like, wound up around people I admire, you know. He's intimidating.

He's a big. He's one of my favorites. He was amazing. And he was very nice. And then, but he just doesn't, once the small talk was done, he just didn't feel the need, you know. But you're not like how to, like you just said with Chris, what, but you're there together. for many minutes, like waiting for action or whatever you're doing. Yeah.

Yeah. By the other, this is a world of no phone. So it's not like people go back to their phones. It's like sitting in silence and sometimes you just got to let them just sit there. Well, you're just thinking, what could you say to Gene Hackman at that moment in time that he would sit up and go, yeah, and start, you know, like turn them on, basically, like get him really excited. I did a movie called the ultimate of this. I did a movie called Mystery Alaska. It was this hockey movie.

Bert Reynolds was in it, okay? And I had one scene with Bert. And Bert Reynolds absolutely had like an old-fashioned movie star, freak out meltdown. Like just screaming at the top of this line. Really? Yeah. Why?

Or just tell the story. He, oh, my. it was oh it was the weekend he was nominated for boogie nights okay oh boogie nights yeah shooting in the in the in the canadian rockies near calgary in like the middle of the middle of nowhere and we had to get shoot him out so that he get back to lay and do press you know for the Oscars that week yeah and so uh we rehearse uh the scene a little bit and uh bird also had one of those old actor voices at that point. He says

the director, which was Jay Roach. Oh, Austin Powers. Yeah. Yes. If you like, I can stand up on this line. Jay says, yeah, maybe. I just might save you a shot. Because that fuck over there said it's going to be a long

fucking night. He's pointing at a producer who I guess it said it's going to be a long night. Oh, because Bert just made a suggestion, kind of. I think just because we were night shooting. And I guess Bert was feeling codependent because we had to shoot him out by midnight to get on a helicopter to go to the Oscars. And he literally flipped out on the guy, just absolutely flipped up. Kurt's a scary. That was pretty intense what you just did.

Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. No, no, I mean, use that the next time you're in a movie. I go, oh, do what you did on flying the wall. Well, thanks to Roy London. I didn't commit. I can relay it. Yes, it was terrifying. But the point is he flips out.

We calm them down and we're waiting. They're setting up the lights and we couldn't go anywhere because it was a snowstorm and we're in the set and all of us were together, the crew and the cast, the producers, everyone. And I sat there for 20 minutes and Bert sits next to me because we're waiting to shoot. And I racked my brain for like, what do you possibly say to somebody? Yes. Okay. I want to know, David, what would you say?

Then we're going to find out what happened. David, what would you say in that moment? It's like a game show. I'd say, who do you think the Cardinals are going to pick in the first? draft. I would say, you know, Bert, that guy over there? You're right. Fuck that guy. That's what I would have done that. That pricks was talking shit to me earlier too, Bert. Yeah. So what happened? I thought I've been dismissed many things like that and I'm sitting there literally just, I can't get him to walk away because I'm terrified to make him angry. I don't know

what to do. And finally, he broke the silence. I swear to God, this is true. He leaned into me very quietly. He said, I never told Sally I loved her. Whoa. I said, what? Wow. I should, I said, oh, you mean, you're talking about Sally Field, aren't you? Wow. Because they were like famously a couple. Yeah. But like 25 years before that. Right. So why he chose that moment to break that's silent with that statement. I will never know. It felt like, you know,

sometimes when people have PTSD or redundant things they need to get out, you were like fresh meat. You were someone to tell. And obviously, he intuited that you were a very decent person. Right. Right.

So that would be a very positive spin on that story. I try to be positive. I think it's nice. Here's what I would have said as a backup. Look, I don't, I don't mean to, fan out, but your

performance and deliverance is one of the greatest things ever put on film. Anyway, I got, I guess, can I get something at catering? Would that work? They would have, yeah. Yes, that would have actually worked. They have chili cup. I'll get you chili cup. Or some other more obscure movie,

maybe, you know, but yeah. Sharky's machine? Sharky's machine. Smoking and the Bandit 2 with Gleason. With Jackie Gleason. There's a thing to say about, apparently James L. Brooks offered Bert Reynolds

the Nicholson role in terms of endearment. That's what I read too. And he turned it down to do like stroke erase or something. I don't understand that. They might have been still upset about that that might have contributed to the... Well, wait, last thing, I know we got to get caught. But Sharkey's machine,

they cut off his hand, cut off his thumb. Am I crazy when I was a kid I saw? Finger. I think his pinky. Was he a lone shark or a fixer or something? He was a cop. He was a cop. Oh, he's a cop.

And he's getting too close to like the mom. I've seen this. Yeah, I got too close to the heat. Yes. And it turns out one of his fellow cops betrayed him. Oh, fuck. And they got him. And they need to know where he's falling in love with,

who is that gorgeous actress? Rachel Ward. Oof. And she's this prostitute who knows too much. and he's got her stash somewhere and they need to know where. And they start chopping off his fingers by the joint, you know. You know what's funny. This is a side story.

But these beautiful, well-known actresses, almost every movie they're like, and this scene, you're just going to be completely naked. And they're like, okay, rolling. And it's like, you know what I mean? It just at some point, it's stop. But for a while there, I was like, is everyone just going along with this? I think it was you couldn't really fight it. some actresses drew the line, but yeah, back then it was sort of standard.

You ever do a scene where you had to be naked with someone like sex scene or whatever? It's one of the weirdest things ever. It's one of the grossest for them. That's weird. I did this thing with Kelly Lynch, okay? And she had a nudity clause so it couldn't be her nude. So you had to be the... Well, I mean, they didn't.

Your call said you had to be nice. I didn't show any of my money, money parts. But no, but at one point, we're doing this scene, and it's like a porno. It's like a porn. Like, okay, now, you know, like the director like yells up. So now kiss down her body. Okay, now, like he'll direct you like how to, you know, what foreplay to engage. Crazy, yeah.

So then they call cut and you're doing that with Kelly. And she goes out and they bring in this body double. Oh, oh, wow. And they say, hi, this is. this is Jennifer hi nice to meet you and the robe off she's naked and she gets in bed and and then do the stuff that now they can show the nudity like okay so kiss down her body okay okay go back now kiss back up and now like okay fondler brass now and so and you do that for a take like cut great we got it and and she's gone and you never see her again i'm sure that there are prostitutes and

Johns who had much more of an exchange than I had with. Did you find yourself hanging out, you know, for the close-up? So like, okay, it's the moment of he's in, he's just, he's penetrated you. And you want her reaction. You can tell the size of the member, but he's like, oh, you know, do you know what I'm saying? So you can be there, go, no, honey, I'm bigger than that. So can you react more? Yeah, it's going to be, it's going to be quite a thing.

Could you get a little bigger in your close other? Or the director, it's whatever he's into. He's like, now kiss up her elbow and kind of chew it a little bit. I wouldn't like. Well, it was kind of like that. You know, it was like, okay, that's how you do that. But the funny thing is, the movie I'm watching, let's say I watch that movie, I think it's Kelly Lynch.

So she's not really saving anything. It's like, oh, those are boobs. They don't show her face, but I guess those are her boobs. I don't know. Totally. I mean, yeah, but you know. Yeah. I miss the old, I miss the old-fashioned movies where they're,

the woman would pound the guy's chest. You're an impossible beast. And then they'd make out. Yeah, then it's, that's four-place. You're impossible beast. That's what I like, Dana. I like those.

We've never brought up that subject of reaction shots on simulated sex before. That's a first. Yeah, that's a good area. I just wanted to break ground here. No, no, I brought up the thing of you being on set going,

I need a little bigger reaction, please. Dana, do you need to ask anything other than... Well, I would just do this real quick because I, I, you're very interesting to talk to. And this is an impossible thing to ask people.

But in no particular order, top five movies all time, no particular order. Because saying one, two, three, four, five. We've talked like, you know, it's a very boring list. Godfather one and two. Yeah. There's two. Good fellas for sure, which I like to think of as Godfather three. I replace the actual Godfather.

Yeah. Okay. Those are all. It's a wonderful life. Absolutely is in my top five. Okay, you can go to 10 if you've got so many. I don't know. Those are really huge.

Um, ones that I just like, um, long time when I, I appreciate Jaws a lot. Yeah, that's a great film. I appreciate alien a lot. Yeah. I love, I love, um, probably the time I saw it. I was 14 when I saw, uh, 2001 of Space Odyssey. I love Planet of the Apes. Boom.

I love Redford in the 70s. I love. I love all the president's men. All the president's men is definitely in my top ten at least. We've seen it recently. My wife and I hadn't seen it in a few years. And holy shit, does it hold up? Totally.

It's so fucking relevant than then. It's so brilliant and relevant everything. Three Days of the Condor, butch casting Sundance kid. Oh, the sting I would put way up there. The Redford Newman. Newman got more subtle as he went along as an old actor. But Redford was all.

always, we haven't had a blue-eyed wasp held back movie star. Well, we just watched the horse whisper the other night, you know, and he just had a, he's his movie star. I don't know. I mean, they never gave him an acting award, but he's, and he

was, he was behind all the movies. Sidney Pollock and he were collaborating and finally he does ordinary people. So anyway, he's an interesting, God rest his soul character. No, I, I did quiz show for him. Oh, That's right.

My first big movie that I got. And thanks to Roy London. And I just ran into John Turturro, who was in that as well, just the other night. Another great, great actor. He's incredible. But, yeah, they don't make him like Redford and Newman anymore. Or Burr-Rennolds. I used to love Charles Brunsome, too.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that guy was awesome. God, that guy was awesome. And the modern era. who are you are you Christopher Nolan or or Tarantino or both who's your favorite director or do you like who's the guy who did sideways and descendants oh Alex um the director yeah Alex is it Alex no Alexander Payne oh thanks it is Alex amazing yeah uh Nolan at his best I'm a I'm a comic book geek and so I love what he did well the Reboot, that first reboot with Christopher Rebell. Oh my God. Yeah.

But when Christopher Nolan gets two plays with time too much, it drives me crazy. I can't handle it. Well, that's, I saw Dunkirk. I felt the same way. I couldn't deal. I liked it. But then I saw it a few years later, there was a reissue. And I kind of knew what was happening in terms of that.

So then I fell in love with the movie. All those time jumps that you're not sure. There was inception. and then there was tenant, right? Yeah. Those get very, yeah, those are. Two stories. They get meta on themselves

to a point where, like, you can't do what's going on anymore. Inception, I like. Tenet was a challenge. But I do like Once Upon a Time in Hollywood a lot. Oh, I, you know, Tarantino at his best is pretty,

I loved Once Upon a... And I had the joy of... I saw it 11 times. I had no clue. I knew nothing about it when I saw it. Yeah. And so I'm thinking, you know, this is heading towards, you know, Sharon Tate disaster. And my mind was so blown by that like alternate ending of like, yeah, I just, what a great use of a movie star like Brad Pitt to just like erase history like that.

And yeah, save the day. I remember your white little face and you were on a horsey. Are you? I'm as real as a hot dog. Yeah, that whole movie and, you know. Leo is so great in that, too. Let's face it, him a good goddamn husband. Don't cry in front of the Mexicans. He's incredible, too. I always want to dislike Leo DiCaprio.

And then I see, I'm like, I've got to give it up. He's just, he's great. He's not good, he's great. He doesn't make sense. Good looking. He has it all. Then he's really. Yeah, that's true.

Anyway, we kept you a little longer, but I love talking about movies and everything. Me too. Feel good about yourself. I read that you would be, it would have been a therapist, maybe, if you. Oh, yeah. I was all set to go back to grad school for psychology and then I've got the Simpsons basically. So I still have it. So that run once you've talked about it. It's just, it's, it's, it's incomprehensible that it's lasted this long and stayed at this quality. And you're the 89 all the way through. It's extraordinary. Yeah, I took, I took over the crown from, there was a ceremony last you were I was dubbed luckiest man in show business.

I took the crown away from Alan Beck who proceeded. Really? Yeah. One thick. Well, that's, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, that whole thing. Yeah, but you're brilliant at it. So, I mean, it's not like they could take.

Let's get an actor and have them to a funny voice. Well, now AI can probably do it, but that's a whole other story. I know. We have AI on after you. I'm a digital copy of Dana Carvice right now. Could have been. But, but yeah.

You know the test? Put the hand in front of the face. You ever heard that? No. They show them on Zooms. These people that are fake interviewing for things. Really? Put your hands in front of your face.

And they goes, why would I have to do that? You just put your hand in front of your face. And they can't go like that. I don't know why. Really? And they talk about it and they won't do it. And they go, thank you.

That's all. They can't do it. So that means they don't want to show. They don't want to show that's, isn't that weird? They're finding these little glitches. Yeah. Well,

soon they'll fix that too. Yeah, that's an easy. This is still baby AI. This is infant AI. Yeah. Just wait eight more months. It'll be a mature.

Okay. Don't scare us. I'm scared. No, it's really true. I don't, I'm not, I think it's really cool.

I read this thing where like, and the odds are better than I thought, you know, the shit that can go wrong as intense, of course. And, but there's only like a 20% chance of that. It's like 80% likely that it will all be fine and just. Yeah, that's a little too high for me.

Yeah, I thought it was more coin flip. Yeah. Well, when you think about like, would you get on a plane if I said, listen, you got 80% chance in landing? You're not going to cry. Yeah. I get on a plane thinking I have a 1% chance. So, I mean, I'm not, I don't like fine. Where's all the fixing cancer and everything, AI?

Come on now. Let's go. Well, they're going to give us fusion, energy. unlimited clean energy, and they're going to cure all these diseases, cancer and Parkinson's and all that. Let's just hope it does that in the first few weeks. And it doesn't see us as the disease. Well, every science fiction movie we had it in 2001, the AI turns on the humans. The only problem with the earth are humans is we've seen it in, you know, Isaac Isamoff and all these science fiction books and everything.

My son's named Hal, so I take it really personal. Based on how the computer? No. No, it's despite that. I just like the name. I love Hal Ashby and Hal Holbrook. Oh, okay. I like both.

We're looking for an age name. That's cool. Yeah. All right. Thank you, Hal. All right. Thank you, fellas. Hey, guys.

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