Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Jay Mohr

Episode Date: October 4, 2023

Good times with Chris Farley, Tracy Morgan impressions, and addiction with Jay Mohr. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates, comparison rates not available in all states or situations, price is very based on how you buy. Jay Moore is a cast member that, you know, Dana started when I was there. As a very young man. Came in. Yeah.

Jay Moore, who people know now, but he came from SNL. He had some great impressions, walk in a few others, and very good mimic of that. He had a run there. Went off, he does a lot of sports, he does a lot of stand up.

Knows a lot about a lot. Been in a lot of great movies. Yeah. Oh yeah, did a movie with Aniston. He's done a lot of stuff. Beat me out was a lot about a lot. Been in a lot of great movies. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Did a movie with Aniston. Uh, he's done a lot of stuff. Beat me out for a partner movie. We talk about that. You know, we did a, do you remember when we did our special about the great Chris Farley? Those, those two episodes. Yeah. Well, Jay came in and had some very, very funny, funny stories. Some of it I thought was folklore, but he was there or maybe instigated

it. So I would stay tuned for his really funny, funny stories about the Great Chris Farley. Oh, he's got so many Farley stories about everything in 8-H and also talks about lately his marriage to Jeanne Bus. Yeah, he's a newly wed and he's in a really good space. Interesting, yeah, he's gone through a lot. And we fucking laughed all the time, that was great. Enjoy Jay Moore, please. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Jayna left before I came on.

When did you come on? 91. 91? I was there till 93 I Wait, do you know who Dana is? Which one are you a church lay fan or you more a guy? Are you coffee machine? I had to grow this so we look even I was not on Saturday night live with you We both of their 92 so there's a little bit of a problem.

Yeah. When you and I were there, David, was Dana there also? No. Well, let me add to the question. Sarah and Norm and David later. Did you do it with Sarah and Norm and David Tell? No, that was later.

Okay. So you weren't there in 92, because that's what I was doing with Wayne's World happening all the time. What's Wayne's World? Okay. Let's back up. So you missed it by the end of the month.

You should have just played a little bit. A birdie told me. But I remember being there once where, we're Franken and Chris Farley were going to fight. Franken and Chris Farley were going to wrestle. And I remember you hanging around and I remember, oh Jay, you know, like you were like, I could take both of you guys kind of,

like you were gonna, there was a three, so I don't know if you ever remember that now. I do remember that now. Yeah. And I also remember, okay, David, and so where's Coli David? David, he's only stayed in his friend's wolf. We're in the graphics room.

I knew Fred would come up and meet him. He's the best. Fred. You're really funny. You're not so funny. That's really good. I just can't talk to you. There's six shooters up here.

David, I want to hear it. You're really good. I've told you this story, but I'm going to talk to you once again. I'm going to talk to you again. I have every question for you. I just remember a waiter coming over and going, get the fuck out of here. He's in the middle of a punch line and the waiter would walk up because get the fuck out of here.

Because they always come on the punch line. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, hey, Chris, you know, J. Rassel, you Rassel, no, J, you know, J says he could kick your

asset wrestling. And I'm like, 23 years old. I'm like, absolutely. And Chris, just, you were a young, Chris is just like, yeah, all right. So we square up the wrestle. Like he's not even in this crazy. The writers room where we, no, isn't the graphics room. Oh, okay. Like, like, I was Franken in the right, I'm the way to Lauren's office. Okay.

And it was just you and Fred were just doing private time or something like that. To graphics, what happened? So I made the mistake of shooting in on Chris's legs, and he just collapsed on top of me. And then I went to my stomach and I brought my elbows in and Chris for the next six minutes set on my back going. I really get out. No, I thought I really thought my life was going to end.

Like sure. You know, yeah, he was trying to say the Chris you're trying eight 90 my back. And then after six minutes, David saved me. He goes get the fuck off. Come on, Chris. You know, you're leaving. But all, it was all Fred's fault. Oh, okay. Jay is doing Mime mean Chris Farley's little running thing. It's heart attack thing where he always hits this. He goes, son of a, I have a, are you supposed to have a tingling

feeling in your left arm? It's going numb. Yeah, you let, yeah. So what about when he walked you to the elevator? Wasn't he mad about that? Oh, I pinned them. Yeah. So the rematch was it was a Dana Carve a Dana Carve. It was I was the breath of reading your name right there. It was it was Alec Baldwin. I get you guys. We know it's just a thing. It was Alec Baldwin and Kim

Basinger were co- Oh, they were Mingling. Yeah. Okay. Okay. My follow up to that was like, I really like bugged me because I'm like, as the day's first second, how good were you at wrestling? I'm at wrestling. I was better as an adult. What was the weight when you took on Farley? What was your weight? It was probably 160. Okay. So you're lean. Okay. So tell tell me how you was doing by the elevator. How would you pin a five six two

hundred seventy pound man sitting on the couch? That's not what I figured he was at his prime. Glad you asked. Yeah, you get him right after you went to Wally and Joseph's and he had shells. Wally and Joseph's taking nap. That was our go to restaurants in New York. You were sitting on the couch right inside the right right right inside the writer's room. Yes. And I walked in, I said, hey, I said something to you. Hey, fat boy, you still want to go. You went to get up and the right, everyone's sitting at the joint table. Yeah. You still want to go.

So, what are you doing? What are you doing? I was not untreated. What are you doing? I was not untreated alcohol. What are you doing? I'm untreated totally. And he went to get out his mistake was, it's like never getting a fight getting out of your car. You're dead. So he got caught in that limbo, but we got him out. Starting halfway and then where did you go, too?

So I went, my right arm around his head, and I just went body into him, and then we just were falling forward and then I class my hands under his back of his knee. So we did like a summer salt room and I put my knee in his side and my forehead on his temple. I just because I knew if I let him go he'd kill me. I know. So it's like if I let him go he'd kill me. I know. So it's like, if I leave fully, you are right.

I don't want to let him go because it'll beat me up in front of how I was born. I was born. It's like she's don't let him go. And everyone's staring at me like, what the fuck is this guy doing? So then I slap Chris's ass. I go, now we're even. And I get up and I'm walking to the night elevators.

I don't know why it turned left instead of right. And I just hear this running of the bulls behind me. And I turn and it's like the entire room has emptied out. And they're walking towards me. But in front of them, Chris is walking like a zombie, like you know, a Scooby Doo, like with the big leg. Er, and his eyes are up in his head like Mara and his palms are up. So I had that time to get to the elevator and hitting the button and hitting the button. The night elevator opens and it's filled with people from the rainbow

room. Yeah. It's just a wall of black tie and you know, just taffeta and fucking Ben gay just all these all so I went into the elevator and then Chris is walking towards the elevator He now he's gonna kill me and there's gonna be collateral damage and I go look everybody that's Chris Farley and the whole elevator like on an episode a new heart just goes Oh, yeah, he goes. He goes, he goes. He goes, he goes, he goes, he goes. We got so lucky. I got to see what the fuck in murder me. Oh my God, when he get that temper going.

But the only reason I lived is because he had to get to laugh even in that event. Even in events. Like instead of running at me and grabbing me, once everybody was mobile, he was like, I remember I told Dana, I remember the Chris and Jay, there was a wrestling situation and then Jay got the best of them

and went into the elevator. It was my idea. I made him turn purple. Oh, he got the best of me, I was killed him. So you had skill? You had a lot of confidence. Well, I watch a lot of UFC. So, you know,

you see me on that? Well, I've seen guys that look like you. I don't know, but, but Larry Javrage, a smaller person. He's just, if it was, he was, the way he was getting up off the couch was just a godsend. I got really lucky and he's just, he was a good shot. Well, he was just obviously, and it was a really hot man was, he was quick.

He was just like, hey, he's like, hey, he's like, he's like, he always went like punchline first. He's like, alright always went like punchline first. He's like, I don't know what you're on the ballot. Yeah. Yeah. How are you? How are you? How are you? I'm sorry.

I'm having a good day of a tell and I were in the office and farly walked in at like one a.m. on a Thursday. It's just like, whoa. And he's like, what are you guys doing? And at the same time, like creepy twins, we said, we'll pay you $100 to shit out the window. Oh you You initiated that you just went So he did this more than once 17th floor no that time we had to fill out a police report because I thought he was a jumper

Hmm, so he just the opposite. Does he take down his pants? And then he puts his ass out. So, yeah. And it was obvious right away he didn't have to shit at all. Because he was just, he turned like purple from effort. And he was just like, so nothing happened. No, like a one little thing, one hairy milk dud. And one horned Michael's who back coming back from Orsos.

With all the heart. It scares me, Paul. Do you have an napkin? Can't you go on the second floor? She's on you. I felt the feature player shit. It fell in the window onto my desk. Oh, what?

So you initiate it and you become the victim. Yeah. And then there was nothing to wipe his ass. Well, so we wipe, I always leave this part become the victim. Yeah, and then there is nothing to wipe his ass. Well, so we wipe, I always leave this part of the story out, I'd respect, but you guys know how much I love, we can't love anyone more. No, so we wiped his ass with his hands. And the only people listening who don't, who think being on Saturday Night Live is a barrel of monkeys, you're right. And this is because when he was how much fun it is.

He would come in my office and go, yeah, I am. We had a greasy trail, which I figured out later what it was. And he take a my USA today and go give me a piece of that. And you know, you can do that. So everyone does that. So it's a hand he went back to that mommy walk. And he fucking chased us.

I was on the floor with the shit on it. It was a mommy walk and shit on it. And I'm running down the hallway, past like research, and there's those bookshelves in the hallway. And me and Dave would tell, I'm running side by side. And I'm like, we're not going to make this side by side. We're going to go single file. Someone's going to want to be in the pack. side by side and I'm like we're not gonna make this side by side we're gonna go single file someone's gonna I don't want to be in in the back and Dave like I

I'm like two years removed from competitive wrestling and David tell a chain smoking miserable guy just passes me like a jet ski yeah and I hit my I hit the bookcase my shoulder like pops out and I'm just laying on my back. And Chris for like minutes is just standing on me going, oh with that. Didn't you have that broomstick though? I was at it. We don't talk about that.

Yeah, that was the, we don't talk about that. Oh, that's even more, okay. Yeah, that's good. Well, the writers room. The writers room was a very fun late night chaotic place. And we're, even down, it wasn't for any reason not to write. The first sketch I ever handed downy, I didn't know like he slept there. He was going through some shit. Yeah. And he just wanted us around like in the loneliness hours between three and six

a.m. So remember you make us watch like Julia at high school basketball like look at this look to look at the ball moment Oh, you were out by then you like to talk about like if I ever got in that down He's office which all we want to do is get down. He's expertise and he was you know He's been there for 20 years so when we get in there. He goes fade. What is going on in Arizona? And then I would go through all that But I'm trying to go through my progress progression so I can get to my horrible sketch that he's not gonna like. And I would talk and talk and just talk. And we would just talk and Schneider,

love me in. I'm next, too much time. So two in the morning you leave and then Schneider goes in and then, but poor Jim, that's what he had to do, is just take okay, I just, one time he did say something smart, he goes, well, he always said something smart. But he said something that I remembered where he goes,

there's times when you're gonna give me an idea and I'm just gonna say, I don't think you should write it and I can't really tell you why. I just know it probably won't get on and I can't even articulate, it's just not right. And I said, okay, fair enough. And sometimes I would do it and he goes, I don't think that's the one.

And I'd be like, this is one of the guys that decides, so why go through the motions of writing, unless it's gonna be so primo he has to overturn his opinion, but he just goes, and that's hard to do, it's hard to tell someone not to write something. The first sketch I ever handed him was the Christopher Walken psychic friend's network.

I went that head to Ghana, I'm didn't even know. Eventually, and I was, you know, I didn't see him till like 9 a.m. And I finished it at like midnight. So you stayed the whole night, I stayed away, I started on the couch and this. And then he, they go, oh, you can go, I think it was Laurie Jogel, but you can go see him.

And then he's sitting on his fucking little couch, brushing his teeth, it's like a face of foam. Yeah. And he goes, let me see it. And I go, hey, and of foam. Yeah, and he goes, who's it? I go, hey, and I hand it to him and he put this palm out like this and I put the sketch in his palm and he goes, yeah, it feels a little long Ah, he just waited out and then handed it back to you. He was right though. Oh my god I mean it was it was a heavy sketch. Yeah, it was long. I get there and sometimes there was a frank in our Maybe was it Rosie Schuster? They would be Rosie Schuster. 18 pages and read through. Now, uh, rated. Who is that?

Which one's Frank? Oh, Frank, get it. Okay. I remember I had Frank in somehow in like some sketch that was going to get on. I think it was like good morning Brooklyn or something. It was going to get on. Like it was just the vibe was there. And I had Franken and, no, the Psychic Friends, it was the walk-in sketch. And it just kinda goes, you gotta switch out, no, you gotta switch out Franken, you can't. And I go, no, this is funny, because he's like the guy, and he goes,

no, don't put Franken in your sketch. And I go, why not? He goes, follow me. And we walked out of the office around the corner down the hallway. And there's that, you know, the framed photos. And it's when they were having the white sale with slaves with Balushi.

And I guess, and Bill Murray. And then the third one is Franken. And they're just standing there like, what, and Franken's like, oh yeah, like all puffed up chest, he goes, that's why. Because he's overacting. That's why.

Oh, my eyes's an old soul. Schneider is. Schneider will tell you what's on his mind. Oh, you're fucking rookie. What do you know? You don't know what you're doing. They're poisoning our water. Well, he can also note you in your own sketch, you know.

No, he's great. Because he was one of the ones that got the pick sketches. So he, that was, I mean, I'm talking frankin' like he would, oh, right. He would, you know, if he's in it, he's also right, or he's also one of the producers that picks sketches. So he has a lot of control of your own sketch, which might that rub your own.

Is the Game of Thrones of SNL partnering with someone, even if you go into the room and you go, I kind of have an idea, be like your psychic walking, and then let them start the ball rolling. Oh, that's great, that's great. So they get proprietary. So when Lauren is there anyone walking, psychic, they're involved. They've, yeah, I didn't know any of that. Oh, yeah. I think when Jay started, I don't know if I knew you had, I knew you had a timer. I knew you there. No. Okay. So I think we all had trouble. We got there me. I

everybody I had a lot because I couldn't quite like this dope that was better than me. This guy Dana. So when I was there when I got there, he was like my protég. I was the longest feature player. Rob when first, San Lewin first, Farley, and they all they all went to cast. And so I stayed an extra year in the on the bench kind of. And I remember when I think you came on, it was like, cut it tough. And maybe I try to tell you. And at the beginning, in my recollection, you were like, you know, I know it's hard. I know how it is. But the truth was, you can't even be prepared. It's like, you know it. And

you get there and you go, well, my sketch was funny. What's going on? And then it just, that's exactly what happened to me. How did you get it on? You start to go, how do you, and then after three weeks that, like I gave my best sketch the first week and it almost got on. And then after that, it was a lot tougher because that was the one I worked on. I go, this has to work. And then another week comes by another week. And if you're not getting stuff on, you start to lose your mind. Let me ask both of you guys a question. I mean, the first year, I kind of harvested or adapted stuff that I'd worked for me in clubs

a lot of the time. You know, so I'm wondering what were your killer bits when you got it and you too, Jay, like, how you got the show, I mean, you're walking as right up there. Maybe you're thinking about my stuff. I'm more of a mimic, so I didn't have, like you have the, you're really great Dana

at like your original characters But I'm just doing an impression of a person I met kind of it's a it's a course But it's still an original thing like I'm just mimicking and I remember when Jim Downey said, you know go to the guys You know go around to the other guys offices and just do impressions let them know what you and I was like so offended Like I'm not gonna be a door to door I'm talking clown, but that know. And I was like, so offended, like, I'm not gonna be a door to door, I'm not gonna be a door to door, but that's exactly what I should have done.

If I could have done it over again, I would have just walked in your office. I mean, like, I wrote a list out of everyone that I did. Really? And just passed it all around. Yeah, my analysis was hard too. What are you doing at that point? So, mid-night with, you've been in clubs for a few years.

Well, I can't have to ask you, like, Peshee, you can hear years. Like, Pesci. Nothing sure. Keep Pesci's heart. Iro, Andrew McCarthy was that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think the way it moves my eyes too.

We did it. Uh, I love her man. Oh, yeah. We did it with Phil on a sassy when he had that dog. Sassy. Yeah. We were just talking about sassy. Oh, yeah.

That was wishful. Harman. And that's funny. Like if people were just talking about sassy. Oh, yeah. That was wishful harming. And that's funny. Like if people, if it's not accurate for me, like that's just funny. I lowered so much. I love it, man. It's just a fine, written, funny attitude. And then you just say that's Andrew McCarty.

Yeah. And it works because if you have one move, the eyes, the voice of close enough, there you get your lap. That's all you need really in those sketches. And I did a bunch of black care, like Arsenio and Tracy, but he wasn't famous. Black was 19. Oh, yeah.

Oh, he crippled what you stay with. So you're doing rip-old to pussy? Yeah, that's like this wheelchair glove, David Spade. And this was seeing him in the clubs. He wasn't on SNL. Yeah, I went to go see him at DM. I went to go see him at DM problem. And I won't get in the clubs. He wasn't on SNL. Yeah, I went to go see him at DM. I went to go see him at DM problem. And I walked into the improv and he's fist fighting the audience in the hallway before they redid it.

And uh, uh, I'm going to help him. It was like 80 against one. And he's just like, yeah, I missed my daughter. God damn it. And then I go to help him in the fight and he turns the punch me in the face. And his fist stops like right at my face and he stops and he goes I'm not gonna fuck with you Jaymore as you legendary. That was his wife's, that was his wife's side. I almost just punched you in the face. I put a baby in you Jaymore got me boy pregnant. I like when Tracy does observation all humor, but it's it's only observation of Tracy is on stage like Oxnard who else remembers finger fucking portrait

G's girls on the ampoule courts. You know what I'm talking about. All the white people with turquoise, they all have like turquoise jewelry on like earthy, see that they just say yeah. Do you know the point you, Gies Girl, has been given up to pussy? On the handball courts. Well, Tasey, we're not gonna have you back. Oh, okay.

I think I'm not so funny. That's so fucking easy. Yeah. Darrell Hammett tells me, tells a story of Tracy, like, was Darrell's savior, like Darrell is struggling and Tracy goes, we gotta go get respected, man. Like this is the streets, Darrell. So he's gotta go, like, we have to have, like, our meeting with Lauren to just let them

know we're soldiers. Oh, okay. And so they wait, they wait like two hours, and they finally get in. And Lauren's like, I have a seat, guys, hold on a second. Hello, Mick. It's like Mick Jacker calls. They're sitting in a big fucking chair waiting. And he's like, one second, hello, Mick, how's the tour going?

And then they start talking and Dick Cheney's off the school. And they're just getting, they're getting, you're just getting, just getting more emasculated. It's like, it's like eight minutes total. And then he goes, all right, thanks. And they go outside the office and Tracy looked at Darryl and goes, there ain't no eye rolling in that motherfucker, dude. And that meant like, we're in the big leagues. There ain't no eye rolling in that motherfucker, dude.

Yeah. So did you partner up with, with Daryl a little bit, Bob, to impressionist? We've been doing shows. Oh, really? Now, right? Yeah, oh good.

Like just a night of impressions, like he does 20 minutes, I do 20 minutes. Do you have any overlap? In the Q&A, is this the two of you? Yeah, we shut down the Q&A last year because it's like, do the Q&A's like, do Schwarzenegger. Yeah, it's like I don't do.

Q&A's are tough. Yeah, like to take all the variables out. And then we have a guy Greg Baldwin, who's like the moderator, he's like the James Lipton. And then we do, you know, we just go back and forth, back and forth, we tell a couple stories, and then we'll do like speed around, which is mostly cartoons.

That sounds great. That sounds like a great show. You like cartoons? Yeah. Who's your favorite Muppet? Kermit. Yeah, yeah. I hold Kermit Defog. No, I like some other ones.

Cookie Moss. Who's the homeless guy? Are you guessing or like, who is your favorite Muppet? No, I'm not a Muppet guy. I favorite? No, I'm not a Muppet guy. I be a ship. I'm not a Muppet guy. Beaker. Beaker's tight.

See, it is boss professor. Oh, professor honey dude. Is that the bald guy? Yeah, he had no eyes, but he had glasses. Muppets are killing him. I'm up a guy. I'm old school. I like Bert.

I have Bert Nerny. What was the story with them? Everybody. Yeah, one came out, right? Bert, everything's Bert's an asshole, but Ernie just wore them down. Yeah. Snaps. Bert's just runs a tight ship. Yeah. And Ernie. Military. Ernie was a baby guy. Oh, yeah. Ernie was kind of a fuck around. Bert's a total navy guy. Make the bed nice. Yeah, and they have to be a little opposite to make it work. So go back to Dana's question. Yes.

Yeah, I didn't really bring anything other than impressions in with me, but then I kept my impressions like a secret and then I had resentments that nobody was running skidges. Yeah, which is again, untreated. I mean, you did all these treated. I'm close to you. Cause I mean, you did all these movies and I'd see you like, I've got a question for you.

I'm jumping around. I'm just talking to you. Oh, my coach was asking you something. I was just saying, you're more than an impressionist in your career. You know, sports commentator here. That's not what I was gonna say. Well, that's the thing with impressions too,

when people go, how can we don't do impressions when you're on stage? It's, to me, it's not stand up. It's a whole different toolbox. Yeah. I feel like I'm kind of cheating. Like, this isn't stand up. I'm just doing these fucking positions.

Well, I used to be, I would get teased a lot in San Francisco, like Bobby Slate. Yeah, yeah, do a funny voice, do a funny voice. You know, that's all you do. And then I walked in in the Holy City's as a little club one night and he's doing one of the Bowery Boys. That's like his big closet.

Bowery Boys. Yeah, the Bowery boy. Sorry. Timely. Going back. Yeah, it seems like it's a big advantage just to have impressions to go to, maybe not to Pendon, but to go to on that show. Only if people know that you have them. You always didn't, you just go around to office, go, hey, how about this, the guys, they literally never found out. You got this secret weapon. No, they found out. Like, you know, it would be like whatever movie was playing.

Right. I would start quoting the movie because I just talking movie quotes all the time anyway. So that's how I got Kitell on and Kitell. Look, I ain't gonna stand you super fucking pissed. Harvey Kitell. I don't know what you think you know, but you're wrong. He's a good kid Kai tell I never hear anyone do well, let's tell you pay attention to the broadcast We did it you were in the sketch. No, I know

We did Wow, SNL secret well, why was? Where do you guys hide the cameras? We're not filming this stupid thing. That's why we couldn't afford it. We didn't have a right thing. We didn't have a right thing. We didn't have a right thing. We're not recording.

We're not recording. We're not recording. We're not recording. We're not recording. We're not recording. We're not recording. We're not recording. We're not recording.

We're not recording. We're not recording. We're not recording. We're not recording. We're not recording. We're not recording. We're not recording. We're not recording. We're not recording. But I think it's not like threatening. Did you have characters when you came in or? You know, we did the thing where you, like what you guys are saying about your standup. Mine was just stories and standup and punchlines and just talking. So I really wasn't loaded to go in there to go, I think it's a good idea to go into the offices and say, hey guys, I can do this or hey, if you ever need something.

But you have to, I'm wondering why does no one write for me, but no one even knows who I am and they don't give a fuck. And they've got 10 guys that are great right there to pick from, so you almost have to go sell yourself, which is what we both didn't do. And I didn't have as much to offer. Like I was just like sort of sarcastic. That might have been what they picked up

just around the office or talking at the read through table or at a rewrites, but you had some things that were useful like impressions and attitudes. So I guess it would have been good for you to go to the smile, go to cone and go to those guys. Whoever was still around, Jack Candy probably wouldn't have written that much for either of us because he was writing his own stuff that was almost didn't need people. Well, you want to have a reason to do the impression that's kind of organic. Those guys make a good sketch around your project.

Yeah, just a catalogue of, you know. It was funny, like the things that don't get on, like when you're just swinging for the fences, because you've had no sketches on for so long now, I remember me and Steve looked ahead, Christopher Walken, as a waiter at Fridays, and that was the whole sketch. Oh, it is that you, like you should have a dessert. It's Mount Fudgeopolis. It was like Fudgeopolis. We were laughing at the lens of table.

It just takes a dump. What a, that's such a funny. It was funny, but it's just like what's, what's, what is the sketch? Yeah, what is your debauch? Hey, we're here, right? Greetings podcast listeners. This is world-renowned self-proclaimed couples therapist, Dr. Sheila. And I'd like to invite all of you to experience my couple's therapy podcast,

Say more! On the pod, I talk to couples and you get to listen in on other people's problems and then feel better about your own. Say more with Dr. Sheila features Amy Poler as Dr. Sheila. Listen in on other people's problems and then feel better about your own. Say more with Dr. Sheila features Amy Poler as Dr. Sheila. Listen and follow to say more with Dr. Sheila on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcast. I remember Andy Robyn had a sketch.

He wanted to go on Seinfeld as a writer, but when he was on a snowy sketch, if he walked by each other in an office and they go, how you do? And he goes this week or something. They kept missing what they were saying. And that they did the wrong answer, you know what I mean? Like he missed her or something or something and dumb. But it was just walk by, it's the whole sketch, I think. And then he submitted it probably five times. And that is the hardest thing to do is if you're not getting on and the second time you put a sketch in, I've done it, it's got a stink on it. No matter why I didn't get on the first time, even if the host, it got cut after dress or it killed,

but then it bumped with something. The second time just isn't as good. And it's just harder and harder to get something on. Did you re-submit things? You were saying you did. Yes, I get friends network because it got. It got. Why did it get crowded? It got the first it was first week with Charles Barkley in Irvana when I did Barkley versus Barney That's great. It's the cold open. It was just panic. I was like Barkley, but like I didn't know what the fuck I was doing and then I had to write it and Then you were barney the dinosaurs. No, no, it was just because there was commercials Charles Barkley playing basketball against Godzilla for a night at the time. That's a great hysterical.

That's a great hysterical. And I was like, oh, this is great. Okay, I'm in. And then we shot it at Hunter College, it's like the next morning at like 8 a.m., the same morning. And then when I get there, Alfred gets just got like video village and he's like all right he's got a shot list

which in hindsight thank God because one of my I was like you guys play basketball you beat up the guy in the Barney suit they had a stunt man in a Barney suit yeah and uh I was like it's a very unfair tug of war guy that's been there eight days. Alfred, the guy that's going to be a senator. And the new guy, yeah, yeah. And the big argument was he didn't, at one point I had Barclay Neen just basketballs out the window and he just needs Barney and the nuts. And Frank and goes, no, we're not doing that.

And he's like, you can't have Barney Neen. You can't have Charles Barclay Neen Barney in the nuts. And Frank and goes, no, we're not doing that. And he's like, you can't have Barney in, you can't have Charles Barkley in, Barney in the nuts. You can't? And that was like my only like thing where I dug in and I was like, this has to be, and we wound up doing it, but it was really bizarre. Was it in it?

Yeah. Yeah, got a lot more. And so the psychic friends network, it was Nirvana and Barkley. No, sorry, it was the second week with the Shannon Doherty. Yeah. And Cypress Hill. So we mean, oh, I'll tell you.

So I had the concede of the sketches, Christopher Watkins, the last guy you want getting inside your head and helping you with psychic issues. It's like, you know, I can help you. Romance, I could be in your garage waiting for you when you get home. It's a charity. And so it's a really good tone you have.

And then we had other, like David was, Chris, you were Chris and Glover. Like, hey, I wanna help you. It's all these celebrities that you still want. You know, and then we got away to a phone and the phone doesn't ring because everybody's freaked out and it keeps going, why aren't you calling?

And I had Shannon Doherty as Sean Young in the cat suit because the story at the time was like, she showed up to Warner Brothers dresses cat woman because she wanted to part and she freaked everybody out. And then Shannon Doherty, on Friday says, I'm not comfortable making fun of Sean Young. And it was like, oh, no, no, no. That's my annoying point.

Exactly. That's what I was saying. A sketch loses momentum for that. And now you have to resubmit it. Oh, I was fucking heated. And then, so I was, well, not on that show. I thought my life was over. And then it was week three, Aero Smith and Jeff Goldblum.

And I was in the writer's room just sulking, just being a fucking baby. And Lord come to me and goes, how's the Christopher Walken sketch coming? And I said, I'm not gonna do it this week. And he goes, I think you have guilt and momentum on your side. Oh.

And I was like, fucking, to get that out of the computer. Oh yeah. I was writing on a yellow legal pad, looking for it. I didn't know where to hand it in like I don't know where to hand it Yeah, Claire Claire went home at fucking 10. It's 3 a.m Trying to hand it to someone's all the guys are hitting a button on their computer and the sketch goes to the magic sketch place Oh, I didn't know it sucked because you go in there, you first go you write on an eagle pad, I go home in three in the morning, finish writing it, I have to take a cab back

from the website to hand it into Claire and the mad men girls that are typing it. And then I go back home and then I come back for read through. So it wasn't like attachment send. There was no laptop, so it was fucking horrible. Remember that's how it was for you, right? Yeah, and I didn't know, I knew nothing about writing a sketch. I didn't know if you're in the sketch. I don't know if I

write David or do I write Chris Ben. Yeah. Like I just I still don't know the lowest comment that I'm not sure I know. Yeah. Going back then, did we put Yeah, I'm going back then. Did we put, um, I just fucking did we put names of us? No, you put the name of character. No, you put character. Yeah. Yeah. I remember, you know, I saw you say Ian Maxstone.

I remember with him and Del. Remember when I was a little more normal, norm knocked him out cold. You remember that? I think he scored it. I never see normed No, I was always have you about to say Dave was why not I don't know We know I left I was always what I don't say I was He's cool in the water by chance you know but there's a cigarette thing so norm would

smoke after the no smoking like this is people don't understand like he used to be like you could smoke in buildings it was like whatever and then all of a sudden it was like by the way like you're not allowed to smoke in buildings anymore So there was a grace period of people like oh, that's right. I forgot or they didn't care So Norm was on the same the we're farly got where I tackled farly he was on that couch smoking and Ian Maxson Graham all six ten of them walks in with his little baggy yogurt. He always had like me You mean you mean get a festive yogurt? Happy. That was the name of it was happy gay yogurt.

And he walks in with his yogurt and oats and norm smoking and he had a plastic cup of water and he just looked at norm and he threw the water on norm and norm just stood up, one punch out. Norm was, I do it. I was definitely a big guy. You don't really think of it. Many of us sort of a beanpull in a way in the 90s. He got a thicker.

Big. Do you remember when you guys did the, uh, the crystal meth sketch? Like you were like Tony Robbins to wait. Lost guy. I think it was, I think it was you and Fred and it was right. The snake. Oh yeah. Right.

The snake. You know, it is show, uh, basically you get people hooked on meth to lose weight. And those commercials were a little show like an outline of a fat body. And it says, like, after six weeks and it goes in a little bit, this one was like six hours and it was skeleton. So he's getting, so they have this thing of farly at a drive-through window, a pre-film piece. And he's like, let me have 14 cheeseburgers,

14 apple pies, 22 french fries and three chocolate milkshakes. And the guy in the box goes, will that be all? And he goes, no. I'll also have. So we argued for two hours over what the back end of that order should be. Like he should just repeat the exact same order

or like, no, make that diet coke. Or no, give me three apple pies and for two hours you know it just goes around and around around and norm was in the corner of the room like we just he was 3 30 in the morning at this point and normally I was like you know you guys have a Chris at that drive through window you know going to give me all these burgers you, and the guy in the box goes, hey, will that be all? And how about Chris says, yes. It's a great norm. That's an incredible norm.

When they filmed it, Chris had like this look of incredible pride. You guys go, well, that'd be all. I remember it. He goes. Yes. He was already working for him. Like a different habits at this point in his crystal, and I mean, I think it's amazing. He could get more and with one syllable. We were just a packet dog's hunting in the wrong direction. And normally, yes, simplified it. Yeah. Yeah. we would go back and forth over many jokes like that, like how do you get out of the sketch?

And if you're the writer of the sketch, or if it's your sketch, you do get to pick, like you get a downy throwing a joke in a smile, a franken, it's great. And you get to add, you're like, when brobbed a copy machine and everyone's like, staying, staying in there, you know, everyone throwing anything, and you get the benefit

of a room, every sketch does, not just a rob, everyone, that's fun. Down here, I remember when it's like week three and he goes, I wanna talk to you about comedy writing at some point and I was like, oh yeah. How about what comedy writing? Comedy writing, I was like, great. And so I was like, hey, you got time

and he's like, no, not today, it'll be like down the line. Me and you're gonna sit down and I wanna talk to you about comedy writing. So it's my, it was like, hey, you got time. And he's like, no, not today. It'll be like down the line. Me and you're gonna sit out. And I want to talk to you about comedy writing. So it's my, it was like week, I don't know, 17. Yeah. And he goes, Jay, what are you doing? Like, he goes, when are we gonna have that talk about comedy writing?

So I was like, I'm ready. And he goes, come on in. I'm going to his office. And he goes, not the three funniest words in comedy are. I go, no, he goes full blown aids. Full blown aids. And I go, yeah, he goes, yeah. All right.

Thanks for coming by. That was it. He set me up for four months. Set you up. Four months. And then he says, What are we gonna have to talk? Ha ha.

Full blown aids. We shot down he this week. Really? And I haven't seen it in the last night. Yeah. He talked about the Indian British War in 1740 for like an hour. Unbelievable.

I love myself. This Justin. Oh yeah, I just felt so fun to listen to him talk about American history. He'll go into a college library for hours and Yale or something. He's just, I love when he turned up on sketches or like when Smigel would turn up on a sketch,

I always feel like oh Somebody from the other side crack crack through crack through. It's hard. Yeah feature player I think Odin Kirk and Conan feature players and they never got a fair shake to be in was fish when I was there It was the only time I saw Conan on camera was that get handsome sketch when Mike Myers was alright get handsome Handsome brother one of the guys in the audience, I got handsome. Oh yeah, that was probably for a Alec Baldwin type host too. How about the amount of rewrites when they're not needed? Like Mike Myres would just hand in these perfect sketches and you just sit in a room for eight hours

when guys would just dissect his sketch. It's going to work. It's just, it's my, it's my, it's my, it's my, it's perfect. If people at home don't know, the rear, rear-eye table would have started one on Thursday after Reethers, Reethers went, I mean, ideally. It starts around one, but roughly, and it goes about 4 a.m. So you're there, that's a long haul,

and every sketch gets about two hours or something. It's just kids, man. What was the name of the restaurant you mentioned? Well, in Joseph. I mean, I went, I felt like a big shot when you were like, come on, we're going on. Yeah, yeah. It's just kids most time in the restaurant you mentioned while in Joseph I'm I went to I felt like a big shot when you're like come on We're going. Yeah, it's fun. Wally and Joseph's and I but I always felt because you came in with like Timmy and Like you said like Adam and Rob and so you guys were kind of a group and then when I came in anytime I was with you guys I felt like a freshman hanging out with seniors

You know the conversation, but you're not really but you weren't part of like the next group You're sort of a tweener kind of right. Yeah, it was me Sarah, Norm, and all the Harvard guys like Steve look nerd, little Morton, Dave Mandel, and then David Tell all of them. There's so many Ivy League writers on SNS and all. I know. I know. Where'd you go to college?

You know, no one's ever asked me that in my life. Really? Ever. That's the first. I don't know. Nobody's ever asked me. Where'd you go to college? It's just implied. All it could be. They're just sending the Harvard guys. But yeah, this is New Jersey. So this is good. Stay, baby. 95 bucks a semester. Yeah. Oh, this is a joke. Not hard as a student because there's no curriculum for stand-up comedy. Right. So, this is a joke. I was a hard student because there's no curriculum for stand-up comedy. Right. So it's just like, what is this? We're adding letters. Like, what the fuck are we talking about? Yeah. Then you go, but like, she's got in the clubs right out of high school. Yeah, I started at 16. Same as you. 16. I didn't start at 16.

What did I say? You said 20. He said 60. Yeah, you didn't let me finish. I have another question for you. Ready? When you look up research on you, it says, what Jay's favorite songs are? Really? Why?

I think that was a Don I miss question. You got to give me your top five songs. Oh, here goes this out in the ether. What's the difference between what you could talk about your first marriage versus your recent marriage? I mean, being a mature, easy to be married later in life. Being a mature adult, getting married is supposed to be young. Lauren said something wise. Every man should have three marriages. One in his 20s and 30s, one in his 40s, and the third in his 50s, one he knows what he really wants. And that's exactly how it went with me. You have three.

Is that three? Okay. And Jeanie's the first, I'm not even gonna say marriage because I don't wanna put anybody on blast, but the first woman I've ever been with that just wasn't depressed. So it's like, there's some blast. And like, her own, like, oh, I'm gonna go look it. I'm gonna go, bud, you say? I said, there's some words and like, oh, I'm going to go

look at I'm going to go, but you say he said there's some blast. No, no, but I did. You're younger. I think you're the one I knew was an actress seem like great girl. And that I think everyone just changes in life. So you change, maybe she changes, maybe it's a great run. And then it just turns

into something else where it doesn't work out. Well, it was the first one I just was never in love. Just sort of, that's how it goes. That's the progression of a relationship. Somebody, you know, when you're dating someone, and you're young and they go, why don't we go steady? And you're like, you know, because I'm from the 50s.

Yeah. When you were wearing my sweater, my pin, when are you gonna do this? When are we gonna live together? And you're like, all right, I'm gonna live together. I was trying to call and quit. All right, we'll live together. Yeah, cool, have a taste.

Yeah. I digress. And that is like, great calling. When are we gonna get all these out? You just did it in a brilliant calling. When are we gonna get engaged? When are we gonna get married?

And the proposal was like, there's your ring, are you happy? Like that's actually how it went. Yeah. So that's not a good old one happy? Like that's actually how it went. Yeah. So that's not a good old one. So that happens a lot. That happens a lot last six years. And then I was on the show and she was in LA.

So I was, let me insert this, did you ever hear Lauren say this? There's something about a man in his 40s and a woman in her 20s. They're both at the peak of their power. Did he say that? It's almost Dr. Riva. That was almost Jimmy Stewart.

Yeah, they're both at the peak of their power. And the other quote, have you heard this one? I said it on the podcast, Lauren again, marriage is a prison that everyone's trying to escape into. You know who said that? Chris Jenner. Anyway. So the second marriage, what?

How do you know what you said? Because I was, I'm embarrassed how I was all fired up. I had Colin holstered. Well, I wanted to call out that you're just, he said, I said throwing in the subtle and precious. So give us a little way. Wait, let me get out of here. No, what was the quote though?

Oh, yeah, marriage is a prison that everyone's trying to escape into. Huh. Well, I don't, I don't feel that way this time cause I'm, you gotta understand, okay. All right, let's break it down. As of today, I've been sober two years and six months. Oh, that's it.

So I met Jeannie after my divorce where that, a divorce is the biggest hole in your soul. Because you get married because you're certain, it's an impossibility that you're gonna get get to that's why you get married like oh this is it this is great and then when that starts when the panels kind of start coming off the space shuttle it's it gets it you get nuts. Chrissy McAlliff said the same thing. It feels to me like a marriage.

The one thing marriage can't survive is contempt. Yeah. Either from either side. And if you were not, if you were, if you were a drink or whatever, well, what was your drug of choice? Were you at all? This time it was Adderall. Adderall.

I went down. Oh, it helped me focus on getting more people to do. And did you? So then you started taking it just to feel okay. Okay, after the divorce, it was like, well, shit. Like I want to, I just want it to like feel something. After the divorce, it was like, well, shit, I just wanted to feel something. I've always been a drug addict and an alcoholic. It wasn't like this one event made me this thing.

I was an alcoholic and drug addict when I was born. And long before I ever picked up a drink, I've always needed more than anybody else in every capacity. And yeah, it's just a genetic brain cancer. Everybody else has this plan for living that I'm not aware of. And I always felt like on the outside looking in like if you and I were kids and

I was at your house and we were on your couch watching TV I would spend that entire time trying to convince you that we were having a good time on your couch watching TV like I was just a needy desperation got a very distinct scent and I stunk Well, yeah, that's and we all all are having a fist fight in our head. Yeah. Either a lot or a little. Yeah, you know. So I quit drinking 1998 and then I used drugs alcoholically. I'm a big pill guy.

I love pills. So it was like, fight in a Norco and then when I stopped at a couple times and then it adder also one that brought down the beast. And so the divorce that't make me used, I chose to go back to using drugs. Like I felt like I was, I like having a secret, like I'm getting away with something like, yeah.

So this was right when the pandemic was starting, kind of before. In the middle of the pandemic was fantastic. Oh, it was just snorting at her all and I was paddle boarding and fishing from my paddle board. I was just insane. I lived in Malibu on the water and I would just snort rails of alcohol.

Did it make you lose a tremendous amount of weight? Oh yeah, I went into treatment in like 160. I'll show you my before I get to this. You know, Adderall's big. I was having lunch with people about only like a year ago, and the guy goes, I wish I had my Adderall with me, I don't have one. And the waitress came out and he goes,

you have an Adderall? She goes, yeah. And I was like, is everyone have Adderall? He's like, yeah, I know people take a decent amount to and then write or do a project. Yeah. But then add addictions a whole another. Well, it's hard to keep it in check.

I'm sure. So I met Jeannie at the very beginning where it was like manager, it was fun, fun with problems, then it's problems. So she met me at the fun and then it was fun with problems. She was, I had a radio show when I interviewed her over the phone and I imagined that there was a vibe there over the phone and I like,

all right, don't even know, I was a genius bus on the hotline. And then I went to the Twitter DM, I started to do my podcast and then I had left my house. I was staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel and when I went to the elevators to go get her, when she walked out of the elevator,

it was just, I was done, like it was slow motion. It was actually, for me, it was love of her. So you talked her on the front or over in the radio, and then you see her in person, so the vibe is so strong, just instant. I mean, it's not inside it, like, you know, she was, I don't think she had love at first sight, but I, like, I remember it was slow motion,

I remember like there was a green elevator door in that palm tree corner of it, I was like, you know, she was, I don't think she had love at first sight, but I like, I remember it was slow motion. I remember like there was a green elevator door in that palm tree corner bed. I was like, whoa. And I just wanted to be with her all the time. And then she's a happy person is kind of what you've looted. Like that's, that's very. Well, I'm a happy person too. Like that's, but you were coming right off the addiction at that point. Yeah. And it was like, this person like, I don't know. It was just, and it was like this person like I don't know It was just like it was a puzzle piece that I've been missing from my big jigsaw puzzle my whole life I felt and Then my drug addiction got really bad and she was at my intervention

Which was at my an intervention being the worst surprise party? You'll ever come to you like everybody you love is there and you're like, Hey, oh no. And then I thought she did the intervention. So you know when you're angry pack, you either never take your eyes off of it. You either don't look at them at all or you never take your eyes off them.

Angry packing. Yeah, so I was just angry packing for rehab and I never took my eyes off a genie and then I got to rehab and all I had was socks. Because I just did so badly. And then, you know, so she stuck with me. She stuck with you, that's a big deal. Like I was a mess.

Like I was a mess. If the world was fair, like we definitely wouldn't be together. I would have lost that prize. And we got married last week. It's eight days today. We got married. Any SNL people? No.

They're gross. There's only 20 people. Yeah, I guess the odds aren't that bad. So do you think all of this? I think we need you to pick the energy up a little bit. Just Jay. This is the most high energy that we've ever been. And PR over here.

No, are you talking about something nice? I'm trying to shut the fuck up for a second. Tarn, it's very hard. So now this marriage is like none other, like the other. And not then against the first two wives. No, I think it's like, it's also like you know what your last. Yeah, it's like I'm 53. Mm-hmm.

And it's, when you've been so humbled and demoralized and you've come completely undone, and then you've brick by brick and stone by stone, built yourself back up into a human being that you've been meant to be the whole time. And that person's waiting for you at the end of that journey. I mean, that's who else would you wanna spend the rest? What's your coping mechanisms when you feel bad if it's not at all or if you're with him? I'm a weird guy, like I don't really meditate.

I take out every day. I don't really feel bad though. I'm one of those weird, I'm wired weird, like I'm. For an addict. Usually it's something kind of. For your comic. I just wake up kind of fire it up. I always know need to be up beast.

Yeah, I'm happy to do. But yeah, I've always been that way, my, I don't know. It's just sometimes it's just all your hard drive is installed. I think so. It feels like it's a thermostat that you get it first. Yeah. I was in the color or a cover rolling stone or something. I felt I was always in this certain range.

I don't know, one to 10, maybe maybe six or seven. Not happy to go lucky, but it stayed kind of consistent. Yeah. And in addiction, it goes the other way where it just becomes this mania. Like, yeah, also when I was in my addiction, I was diagnosed manic depressive. I was diagnosed bipolar. And then I work a program and I go through 12 steps for a program that might be anonymous.

And then that became, now I have like this monotheism for all of my problems. Like every single problem in my life, it can be remedied by the program. So you're not, no one's suggesting medication or anything for pulling it off. That was the end of the story that I forgot to put in is I had about a year and a half sober I got off all my medication. And it was just, it was a direct result of my drug addiction. It's like the old equalizer is on a car stereo where you get them just right. And when you snort at her all, you just blast them all up to 10 across treble, bass, fader, this.

And then when you come off them, boom, they come crashing back down. And then you just keep jamming them back and forth, back and forth. And it's just not an accurate gauge of how you're actually feeling, because you're either in mania or you're just completely panicked, because you're gonna run out of drugs.

Damn. So Sarah, I live as an emotionally violent place for anyone with mental health stuff or I mean, but I was I'm one of the best things I learned in recovery was that I'm I am the reason for all of my suffering, which thrilled me because if I'm the reason for my suffering, then I always have a solution. I can change how I'm looking at something or I can go be of service and help somebody else. And then just because if I'm pissed off, it's really just a perverse selfishness. Because if I'm pissed off, I'm only thinking about me. So as an active alcoholic on Saturday Night Live, it's, you know, what was me,

poor me, poor me, poor me a drink. So it's like, I didn't get my sketch on like, oh, this fucking boy is boo. And that's, if I could do it again, if I, to be, I guess it's like the classic SNL lament. Oh, if I could be 53 in that 23 year old body and just be like, okay. I can do it. I get to watch Nirvana rehearse.

I know you didn't even think of how great we had like see Nirvana and the cafeteria eating. I never felt like they owed me anything or even in stand-up. I would talk to young comedians. Nirvana? They get all into the drama. Yeah, I was friends with them. I was friends with them. Into the drama of stand-up.

I'm getting fucked man. I should be middleing by now and they put that guy getting all wound up in that. I think guys like you and me had a lot of success quickly. Like it was sort of, yeah. Don't you think so? Like you're, I had a lot of stage fright. Well, there were no comedy clubs when I started. Literally.

I opened for the band. That's really his key to enjoying the benefits of the program. Yeah. That'll set you back. Yeah. Yeah. Just opening for bands and getting in an annihilated stuff. Normal stuff. But once I got into a club, a real club, not a honky-tongued bar, like the other cafe and the hate, I started to progress just because

of the environment. Well, you're talent though. It's, you can't deny it. I think it's, would you say that you rose quickly once you got into the right environment of clubs? I would say that as quickly as I can that I never was able to wrap my mind around like I'm one of those guys, like I'm going to be on TV, like Jerry Lois or Jackie Lee's there or something. And so I did a lot of shitty television

because I had no, they offered me Bluthunder, and I was in a helicopter, James Ferencino, who was coped out and drinking straight vodka, by the way. And what else do you do in that helicopter? So it, it, it, in retrospect, it seems like. I had to play the Marongo Casino, and they, they sent the helicopter for me.

Fuck yeah. And my pilot was Lorenzo Lomas. Shut the fudge. And they said, They were in Morocco, Casino, and they sent the helicopter for me. And my pilot was Lorenzo Lomas. Shut the fudge, you're back. And they said, yeah, at the advantage airport, they're like, this is your pilot. We call them Lorenzo Lomas. And I was like, ah, yeah, it looks like them. And then we're like somewhere over like Ontario. And I look at him, it says Lomas on his head said to make to grind it into you.

Yeah, I was like, to make sure you ask him. Yeah, only on my side. I was only on my side to switch it. And I wanted to ask him, like, are you Lorenzo Lomas? But I didn't want to be that obvious. So I was like, so I was like, how much money are do you think you've left on the table doing this? That was pretty smooth to ask him that, right? Is that what you said?

Instead of saying like, are you, what is he saying? And he goes, oh, of 95% of it. I'm like, okay, that's Lauren's alumnus. Yeah. So he's a helicopter pilot. That's not a huge people. He just digs it. And then he stayed for, I said, come to the show and he's like, I'm not supposed to. I'm like, come on. So he stayed for the show. And then we flew home and somewhere over like the desert he goes, do you mind if we stop for gas? And then how come then? Who says no to that? And then you got your fur off.

I mean, let's just ride it out. We got this. You got this, L.A.S. What do you want, E? Before J.G.E. goes, I've asked Tom one more thing. Was I auditioned for Jerry McGuire? You did?

Yeah, for your part. Really? Yeah, Bob Sugar. Interesting. So who got it? Anyway. No, I never had it. You never had it when we were auditioning.

Is that Cameron Crowe? Yes. There was already an offer to Owen Wilson because they had done Jim Brooks and Owen Wilson had already done bottle rocket together. So by the time that I don't know about you but hey, Owen, when I was doing this part, I did Owen Wilson and I was in Jennifer Coolidge. I tried to do it. But my mouth gets too tight and I was like, I say we take it up and I do.

I do him telling a toddler you can't have any more candy. Please let me. I don't think you should have any more candy. I'm just doing Melissa. I love her guy. I do. He's a great, I'm like, he's a haunted mansion. I'm like, oh, he was on the screen.

I'm like, one Wilson. I love this guy. Woody Harrelson, Matthew McConaughey. Yeah. Three Texas accent tricks. Put them in some movie Hollywood. I love those characters. Here's my Colin Quinn when I said,

his friend just moved in with his girlfriend. I go Does he did he like moving in with this girlfriend? He goes what do you think? What do you think? Anyway, I got before we leave. I don't know. This is a quick podcast. I gotta tell you two Spade stories that are fantastic. Oh, I love it. We're uh, I was, I went back to see the show and I was filming Picture Perfect with Jennifer and I see Davey in the hallway, and he goes, how do you like working with Jenny? And I go, I'm such a dick. I go, I don't know. She smokes cigarettes and he goes, let her down easy.

Is that the most David joke ever? That was exactly how it went. Let her down easy. And then he did that. David thing when he goes. That was exactly how it went. That's funny. And they did that. David thing when he goes. And then we were at a strip club. And the dancer, I'm being generous, the dancer, the artist. They are.

You know, like when male bodybuilders, they can flex their pecs. Arnold used to do that. Yeah. So this girl would do it. And so she's dancing for David and she's going like doing the bodybuilder poop flex. And it's like, I like two songs go by and she circles back around and she does it again and David goes,

seeing it. She just, she was like, she just got humiliated right there. You're like seeing it. That's very David, yeah. Got her mind to be, we went out, we got a picture with, what a hooker. Okay, thank you, Jay, we, you have the best fucking stories. This is great. I know.

Thank you for coming on, buddy. Amazing. This is crazy, right? You could do it on Zoom. I'm like, oh, I want to hang out. No, it's fun to come in here. We like when people come in. We do a lot of the Zoom's trust me. A lot of the Zoom's, but we, carcennial.

Oh yeah. Yeah, I understand that I, a crib is, your house, bed, I, you know, I can't, I can't, I can't. So long fingers.. I know I can't I love I'll show you something when we're done here. Yeah, because it's it's it's it's Farley and and Harman on on the Carson episode. What was it? Or they domed Eloise and uh, domed Eloise where they flip out. Do you ever see that?

Yeah, you see it, okay. You're fucking funny. Do you remember when Farah on the scared straight motivational speaker, we made an arrangement like when Farah Lee falls through the wall of the prison, we were all gonna run out, then we all run out like a scape. We're all gonna fall on top of Chris as a joke.

So he can't come back in and say, live from New York. Oh, that's funny. So Chris goes through the wall, me, you, Sandler, Schneider, and Timmy fall on top of Chris, and he just leaves us up like leaves bags. Like he didn't, he just peed us off. Not even a joke. He just even one second was, it was just, we're right from New York. And he had the line. Can you even one second was was was just

Any of the line where him and Martin Lawrence are selling us back and forth for cigarettes because that's the prison thing and Farley was supposed to go sold seven bitches to the homie in the cornrows and So you're the camera he goes sold, SOLD 7 bitches to decor me in the home you're in! Errrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Available now for free wherever you get your podcast. No joke, folks. Flying the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corqurin of Cadence 13, and Charlie Feinen of Brillstein Entertainment. The shows lead producers Greg Holtman with Production and Engineering Sport from Serena Regan and Chris Bezel of Cadence 13.

The shows lead producers Greg Holtman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Bezlove, Cadence 13.