Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Jay Pharoah

Episode Date: October 2, 2024

Breakfast with Prince, smoking with Bill Maher, and loads of impressions with Jay Pharoah. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:59 Our guest today is Jay Farrow. Jay Farrow, very funny guy. He was on SNL, of course, which most of our people are. I saw him when I did Snake Oil and he was one of the guests. Now he has his own game show, but that's just one of the many things he does. He's really in there doing stuff. He's got a lot going on. He tells us all about it. Yeah. Six years on Saturday Night Live, arguably one of the best impressionists ever be on Saturday Night Live.
Starting point is 00:02:31 And so we get him to do, he does his Denzel Washington and all these different voices on this podcast. So this was a very loose, entertaining thing. He came to play and I think he was, had fun. I know I did. Yeah. Very upbeat guy. I know I did. Yeah, very upbeat guy. I apologize, but I said we're going to hit you up for all these impressions and they sound so funny and if you're listening to just audio, he's got great faces to go with him, but that audio I was just listening to it and that Denzel, it's almost like you can't tell the difference. Yeah, so the very, very talented Jay Farrell.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Have a listen, won't you? You don't have to wear earphones on. Kaville Belmar. I didn't have to smoke either, but I failed that test, shit. We kept lighting them and waving them around. I wanted to reach through the screen. He makes it look good.
Starting point is 00:03:29 Let me, let me, let me, let me tell you this. Um, his weed is very, uh, rich. It's very rich. It is a, that is $500 million. I have made plus weed. I ain't there yet. I didn't, I thought I was good't there yet. I thought I was good. I thought I was good with going in to the dispensaries
Starting point is 00:03:49 that now look like iPods, but apparently I ain't smoked nothing. I ain't smoked nothing. So I got to build my tolerance up with Bill Maher because I didn't even know he smoked. I said, wow, really? Okay, so. Oh, he smokes, he smokes.
Starting point is 00:04:04 But what was the name of the cannabis? Did it have a name like jackhammer or brain damage or something powerful? Crippled hyena? I think it was called a Diddy House. That's what I think it was called. That's what I think. Diddy House, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:21 Diddy House. Okay, that's it. Dude, are they still hassling that guy? He said he was sorry. I know. Baby oil does not mean guilt. Baby oil means there's rashes with the staff. Baby oil doesn't mean guilt, but baby oil with no protection means that something definitely
Starting point is 00:04:43 was going down. That's what it means. Yeah. Yeah. Baby oil. I know. It was crazy. I keep 200 bottles in my place, but... Let me tell you something. A thousand? If you're getting initiated after college, I don't think you're in the right room. It's like, hey, an initiation means you get to do whatever you want to someone. And so it's like, I'm 36, I'm being initiated into the music biz.
Starting point is 00:05:08 Like, come on. Yeah, I haven't gone there. And you know, what I can say is the man has always looked moisturized. It makes sense why he's so slippery now. True, yep. He is a good eye. It makes sense. I've never seen a crackly, ashy anything on Pete Diddy. It makes sense now. No never seen a crackly ashy anything on P Diddy.
Starting point is 00:05:25 It makes sense now. Oh, no. Yeah. He is, is frozen in time. He looks just like he did 30 years ago and it's baby oil. And they say, Oh, it's something nefarious. I go innocent till proven Diddy. Yeah, I don't.
Starting point is 00:05:40 Yeah. It doesn't scare me, but if you see so many bottles and you're like, how fast are we going through these? Yeah, and then cut to the 40 foot bed in the back, like, yo, what do you see from Blue's Clues? Like, what is going on? I just don't understand it. Well, at some point, when you get, say, 500, 700 million, somebody in the room says, hey, huh,
Starting point is 00:06:09 maybe we could procure young women and bring them to and, you know, just brainstorming. And then Diddy said, you're a genius, because at some point the money leads to the. Diddy said, oh, like space. Oh, not only should we bring girls, we should bring some boys too. We should do that. Let's just keep it even. It's got to be.
Starting point is 00:06:32 It's the quality. It's equal or both sides. Yeah. Let's just, let's just. Yeah. I don't want to get in trouble for just bringing girls. Yeah. Also, I saw a video because it's in my algo. So on TikTok-
Starting point is 00:06:47 Oh, he's giving himself a close up. It's funny, Jay, when you go like this. So I go to, they showed Diddy playing basketball in his house, obviously he has a basketball court. And then, and you go in this wide shot, and I'm sorry, there's a bed in the basketball court. I saw a bed too. You court. I saw it too. You see that?
Starting point is 00:07:05 And I was like, hmm. This man was just greedy with the, but he wanted it everywhere. Everywhere. You can't wait to go in the other room? There's gotta be some, there's gotta be at least a futon in the kitchen. There's at least.
Starting point is 00:07:18 Ah! Something. Big piece of toast. There's a double futon in the dining room, a single futon in the kitchen and just stacked pillows in the foyer. So anywhere at any time within three to six meters, he's ready for action. I'm starting to have a quirky admiration just for
Starting point is 00:07:41 the operation of it, just for the infrastructure, the planning, the detail, I'm not saying it's not evil, but man, they had some plans. There was something, something definitely went down and, uh, something definitely went down in the DM. That's a DM standard for Diddy's mansion. Y'all see how I did that? Damn. Oh yeah, that was good.
Starting point is 00:08:05 I drove by his mansion. I didn't even know, Dana. I drive by it on the way to somewhere every day because I cut through the street and all the houses are big. And some people go, that's Mr. Chow's house. You know, you never know. Be like, Michael Jordan's mom lives there. And everyone just believes it for 300 years.
Starting point is 00:08:20 But no one ever said that was Diddy's house. And then all these trucks are out there, these news trucks, and I go by, I go, hey, what's going on here? Just so they'll recognize me. And then, and they're like, oh, you didn't hear Diddy, it's a big shit show. And I'm like, oh, that's his house? You probably shouldn't tell me, but I'm cool.
Starting point is 00:08:39 And so I go, I will never mention on a podcast. So anyway, he was there and that's my big story. That was great. I enjoyed that a lot. It's for sale for 60 million. I'll give you a one three right now. By the way, non sequitur sequitur, but back to the subject.
Starting point is 00:08:57 Do you remember when Robert Smigel did a cartoon on SNL where the whole premise was what did he do is, no, what is Diddy do? Oh, really? No, I'm not. Yeah. No, but that's hilarious. That's the. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:09:12 There was a whole thing of no one really knew what he did as a producer or whatever, but now we know what he did. He could have done ambiguously gay Diddy. Oh Jesus. That's combining them. Okay. I'm texting Smygle right now. Smygle do it. I'm texting him now.
Starting point is 00:09:28 He should have one on the first show. Biggishly, okay. Yo, can we, wait, before we even go any further, yeah, big shout out to Robert Smygle. He's the reason that he got the Stephen A. Smith skit. He came to me with that. And then that's the reason I started doing that on SNL. I was him. And I mean, so shout out the Robert Smygle. My Bron James, LeBron James is LeBron James is the best player
Starting point is 00:09:53 in the league for Mario Chalmers needs to be locked inside of a inside of a closet without any arms or able to touch any basketball whatsoever. Because he is just totally terrible. It just makes no sense. He was a dear friend of mine. Because he just totally terrible. He just makes no sense. He was a dear friend of mine. That's what gets me. He was a dear, dear friend of mine. You know, they also, they always rag on him and then he goes like this. He goes quiet. I've been listening to what you've been saying. He's resting.
Starting point is 00:10:22 He rests his voice. And then he goes in attack mode. Bam! Hysterical. Rock had him in his old movie. The Rock had him in his old movie? No, Chris Rock had him in like, I Think I Hate My Wife or something. He was the other couple he went to dinner with. I'm like, that's interesting.
Starting point is 00:10:39 You throw Stephen A in there. I would say this, whoever gets elected, Kamala or Trump, Stephen A. Smith is the press secretary. Can you imagine that guy taking questions from the press? I know serve you up, Jay Farrell. So Mr. Smith, what is going on with this administration? I'm not... What's going on with this administration? What do you mean what's going on with this administration? I'm not What you mean what's going on with this administration, I mean listen we're in a down of a new No, we're the dawn of a new era. This is a totally new era. I couldn't be believe that it happened I'm totally berated incredulous in city and said Leviticus that this is going down So flawlessly now we actually have a black woman in office.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Now, now, you know, everybody wanted Michelle. We wanted Michelle. We did. But she looked at her husband and said, you know, the hair is not worth it. It's not worth going full gandalf the gray. So she just stayed away from everything. And she wasn't even into it. But you know, the next time there's a president
Starting point is 00:11:42 and need to be a president called Stephen A. Smith, because I feel like if I get in there, it's going to be a lot of change. I'm talking about change. I'm talking about changing, rearranging, straging, endangering, and power ragering. You know what I'm asking. You know what I'm saying. Bill, Bill McClendon from the Associated Press. Sorry. How about this? And Molly, you wore that yesterday. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. You wore something like it. So funny.
Starting point is 00:12:09 Oh, I'm mistaken. I was Molly. That was last night. Molly, you had, you had something different with the dinner last night. Nobody knows about that. Nobody knows. Nobody knows. I'm playing.
Starting point is 00:12:21 Playing. We're all just making up, we're playing scenarios. I'm playing. I'm playing. We're all just making up fake scenarios. P Diddy to Stephen A Smith to... I wonder if P Diddy ever did. I have a lot of favorites. I don't want to turn you into an impressionist.
Starting point is 00:12:36 No, we gotta give them a rest after this one, then we'll come back. Let's give them a rest. And don't worry, Jay, this will be the last time you ever have to do these impressions for anyone. We will milk you and then, because it's too hard when I read these in your prep and I'm like, God dang it. I don't want to, but we have to ask them. But also Gilbert Godfrey's character in Aladdin, is that what you
Starting point is 00:12:56 said you did early on? That was my first impression. That was my first impression was Gilbert Godfrey, Iago. What was he the, uh, what was the parrot or something? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I use that to get, I use that to get, uh, to get attention back when I was six. That's what I use. Six and it works probably.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Right. So six years old, you see Aladdin and then you get a gobert Godfrey. You go to the playground. Oh, it's a killer dude. I remember Gilbert Godfrey doing like, uh I don't know what I'm doing, but you go to a party and they just have a block of cheese. And you know, I'm hungry and everyone's around the cheese and there's crackers and it's a lot of it's eaten already.
Starting point is 00:13:36 And I'm like, well, I thought he was so funny. I lived with them for a month. My favorite, for rest in peace, My favorite Gilbert Godfrey joke was, if masturbation was a crime, I'd be on death row. And what about him as an impressionist? Like he'd turn around and come back. And I don't know, do Rodney Danger for their car. Or you do Bella LaGostie or he would just do these impressions and they were kind of good, for their college or you do Bella Lugosi or guys. He would just do these impressions
Starting point is 00:14:07 and they were kind of good, but they were just very Gilbert. And then I like how he always rubs his face at the end of it. If he doesn't know how it's going to go, he just rubs his face. He's like trying to rub it. That's a good one.
Starting point is 00:14:19 I forgot about that. Yeah, man. He was another SNL alum. Oh, did you guys get to it? You guys, you guys got your invites, right? You guys got the invite. You guys got them. I got plus one, Jay. No, you did not. I really did get three. I was like, oh, snap. Yeah. Oh, they said it three times. 50th. Oh, 50th. They sent it three times? Yeah, three times.
Starting point is 00:14:46 Mine didn't have a plus one. It was really, I don't know what to say to my friend. They said, Dana, I want you to barely come. You're barely one. That's it. You'll be in the spillover room, the third one. Oh my God. There's three spillovers.
Starting point is 00:14:59 You and Victoria Jackson and John Lovitz will be in the third. Jesus Christ. I was going to say. You know, we have, we have everybody coming. Even Robert Downey Jr. A lot of people don't even know he was on the show for a long time, but for one year, y'all, I told him it would never, it would never work out and look at him. Now he's Ironman.
Starting point is 00:15:17 It's amazing. It always works. It's amazing. It's Ironman. And then it's that thing of you get the Academy Award because it's Goodwill and they didn't get Iron Man and it's like a really good, really good career. He's forgiven. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:30 He's, you know, he's done a couple of things over the last years, y'all, that have impressed the public and general populace, y'all. But he does a serious movie than Iron Man, then a serious movie, then another Iron Man. Yeah, I looked at him and said, Robert, are you just going to reprise your role of Tony Stark? And he surprised me by winning an Oscar. I didn't think he was going to do it, but he did. You know, yeah, my little baby surprises my little baby.
Starting point is 00:16:00 Now he's doing Volcano Man. He's getting like 60 million to play the human volcano. That's funny, Volcano Man. A guy just throws up on you. It's all hot. Super hot. Lava just... Your skin just comes off and it looks like Raiders of the Lost Ark. Yeah, that's funny.
Starting point is 00:16:24 Let's do that. Let's do that on SNL Volcano Man. Oh my God. I've got an app that says Volcano Man's about to blow. You know, uh, that instant confidence boost you get from an outfit that makes you feel good. This is true. That's what you get with Stitch Fix. Like when I nail it every month or two, I get one thing right, I go ta-da. But you could have that more often with Stitch Fix. You get a stylist who understands your style, size and budget, they do all the shopping for you.
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Starting point is 00:18:04 I know, I hate when they knock and they and they go, how's it going in there? How good or bad could it be going? I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to put these pants on. I just saw myself naked. It's not going well. Why do they put the heat up in these doors?
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Starting point is 00:18:58 Like if you, they go, I'm sorry, you're, you're this way, Mr. Spade. And then you're like in a room and you see like some vague, famous faces. You're like, wait a second, where is everybody? And they're like, cause we talked to someone on this podcast and they were like, we never saw you. I never saw you at the 40th. And we're like, oh my God, were you in the spillover room? They're like, I guess there was no one. The spillover room. Don't invite someone if they're not in the stands, just say, but the spillover room, dude, the spillover room is going to be Madison square garden because there's so
Starting point is 00:19:32 many guests members on the 50th. Oh my God. Six years of my life. And I'm in the spillover room. I just wonder, I really wonder, does everybody get, does everybody get an invite back to it? Because I didn't see everybody at the 40th. So, you know, I was there on the show at the time.
Starting point is 00:19:49 So I just, I'm just wondering. I mean, I don't know, you know, I'm just- You had a baked in invite cause you were there. Yeah, man. Yeah, baked in invite to watch. And they sat me or me and Michael Tay all the way at the end on the side where the camera couldn't see us.
Starting point is 00:20:03 Couldn't get you farther away. Couldn't get us farther away. But hey, we were in the building. We were in the building. You were in the building that can never take that away. One inch from the one person away from the spillover room. And now look at Michael Chay now running, running over, running a week and up. Michael, where are we sitting this time? That's right.
Starting point is 00:20:26 Where are we sitting? They actually have a new area too. I just got a text. Oh, what is it? They call it, I know, this is just cool, but they, I think it's sort of pithy. It's called the loser tent. And it's behind the spillover.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Oh my God. Oh Lord. The loser tent. Dude, I, last year I had to read just to get into the spillover tent. Dude, last year I had to read just to get into the spillover tent. Well, I hope six seasons, six seasons or five, I hope five seasons plus don't have to go over there. I'm just hoping, you know.
Starting point is 00:20:56 I mean, it'll help, but no promises. We'll put you between Paul Rudd and Michael Che. You know, it's the past meets the future meets the ant man. I guess the hosts would usurp the cast, right? The famous or hosts get front row. Yeah, I guess so. I guess. Yeah, it's a wax museum.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Last time when I looked out there, it was just. Well, I think it's a concert too. So that's gonna be more fun. But who's going to come, like who's going to come? Who they going to have? I wonder who they going to have for four. Cause they had Prince. They got that Prince performed last time.
Starting point is 00:21:33 I would like Prince to go on before 4 a.m. I don't think he'll go on this time, but last time at the 40th, you probably stayed for that. I, I bounced to 230 and they're like, oh, you missed everything. I go, well, I mean, guys, it's 2.30. Let's make some moves here. When did Prince, when did the great, the greatest of all time potentially just guitar player,
Starting point is 00:21:52 forget everything else, I like a certifiable genius, just putting that in there because it makes me feel good. You guys have all of at least seen while my guitar gently weeps where Prince comes in, it's like 300 million views. It's just one of the most masterful guitar. But what time, I just, this is- When did he go on? This is 10 years ago, folks.
Starting point is 00:22:11 But when did Prince go on? Cause I think I walked out at 410 and then I got, did I miss it? I walked out and high-fived, he's coming in. I go, give him hell, guy, I gotta get out of here. He came on at 430 and then after the end of his performance He made us all breakfast. It was a nice Just yell them out guys just cooking it up just so crepe you just had
Starting point is 00:22:45 Cooking breakfast, that's all I got. Let's go crepey You get. I'm cooking breakfast. That's all I got. Let's go Crepey. I want you to sing it. Oh, you do. Oh, that was it. Don't be a vegan. That's why I eat my sausage.
Starting point is 00:23:03 Oh, no, let's go. Oh, no, no, no, no. ain't one of my main ones. It's one of the, it's one of the ones that microwaveable ones that I do. You can do a little snack pack version, little snack, little handy snack version of it works. Yeah. Kiss is a great song. That's also funny. Sometimes great songs are actually funny, but that falsetto rhythm and chaos, you know, there's a new dude, there's a new dude, there's a new dude. There's a new dude. There's a new dude.
Starting point is 00:23:21 There's a new dude. There's a new dude. There's a new dude. There's a new dude. There's a new dude. There's a new dude. There's a new dude. There's a new dude. This is a great song that's also funny. Sometimes great songs are actually funny, but that falsetto rhythm and chaos. You know, there's a new dude, there's a new dude, there's a new guy. He's from, his name is Tommy Richmond and he's from, he's from the 703s from Virginia and he's got that song. I'm so sad baby, the baby take the load, the baby said that.
Starting point is 00:23:41 You probably heard it on TikTok videos. You gotta make it million dollar baby. Yeah, okay. I'm okay. I'm the millennial here. I feel, I feel alone and I'm bailing out. Jay, are you saying he's influenced by Prince? Is that the idea?
Starting point is 00:23:55 I would say, yeah, there's definitely some, there's definitely some similarity there. Just with the vocals, you know, they're really high pitched and really, what is it called, groovy. He's got a groovy high pitch vocal. So I, I, I like it. I'm just saying they, um, they sound similar. It's, it's clear that Prince has a lot of sons and maybe Tommy Richmond is, you know, you know, I told you this Dana, but I don't know if it was the 40th,
Starting point is 00:24:22 but one time with when I was just back in New York, it might've been that weekend, but, but, uh, I went out with Chris Rock and he takes me out and, uh, and of course he picks you up. He does fun stuff cause he's like, okay, we're going to go here and then we go there and it's super fun. Then he goes, okay, we're, we're going home. And he goes, oh, he just gets like an alert beep beep. You want to go see Prince right now? I said, oh, okay. So then we drive to some nowhere spot and it's, and they led us through all this shit. And then it's a front section and the front section is about 10 people with Michael Jordan in it. I think this is it. Yeah. And he's like, he's kind of grooving and I'm like, I couldn't not watch Michael Jordan. Who am I going to look at Prince or Michael Jordan? It's too cool.
Starting point is 00:25:02 And I'm like, I couldn't not watch Michael Jordan. Who am I going to look at? Prince or Michael Jordan? It's too cool. And so I, and I tried to dance and they were all like, Chris, why is he here? Why did you bring him? And I'm like, no, no, I'm cool. I'm one of the, I'm cool.
Starting point is 00:25:16 I'm one of the cool guys. Watch this shit. And then I sort of got into it. And then I, then Prince's or Chris is like, you should probably go. And I go, yeah, yeah, for sure. He let you stay for, he let you stay for Black Hour. He let you stay for that. That's crazy. I kept saying, he's not doing any ones I know. What happens in Black Hour? I just
Starting point is 00:25:37 want to know. Yeah. Oh, I don't, I wouldn't know. Cause you know, I wouldn't, I'm not up that late. I've never been up that late with Chris Rock. You know what I'm saying? So I don't know, but I'm just saying that black hour, what it's been a rumor to have is a lot of blackness. I'll tell you that. It's just a whole lot of blackness. Yeah, man. Chris is on it. I will give it, listen, I love the fact that I love the fact that Chris
Starting point is 00:26:04 always does incorporate and Sandler, Sandler's the same way, but they all always incorporate you to Dana You do it too. You all incorporate y'all's friends man into movies And um, I felt like even Chris paid it forward to my generation because he put me in top five He didn't have to do that. I got that right. That's you know, I'm a great movie Yeah, um, I had I had I had about two that. I got that. That was a great movie. Yeah. I had about two minutes on the screen there. That was cool. But you know, it was fun, man. That was a great experience. And Chris Rock is a man of his word. That's why he is going. He's pretty sane for showbiz. I think one of the things about Chris is got a good head on his shoulders, not a druggy, not a big drinker.
Starting point is 00:26:46 He's just always thinking, always grinding, trying to get something going. So puts it in, maybe he does the road. He does the road. I mean, it's clubs for a while, then he does the tour and then he ends with a special, but it's not that fun. It's fucking hard. And he still grinds it out. Maybe Jay would find this funny. Like with this podcast, we were at the comedy store, David and I were It's not that fun, it's fucking hard. And he still grinds it out.
Starting point is 00:27:05 Maybe Jay would find this funny. Like with this podcast, we were at the comedy store, David and I as guests, and we're gonna watch Chris's special live. I saw it, I saw it. Oh yeah. I saw you guys. And then we're gonna have a discussion.
Starting point is 00:27:20 I've never felt whiter in my life. Spade's next to me. I'm hanging out with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar all night quizzing him about just so much fun, saying, did you have a peer in the NBA? A peer, he goes, well, no, once Will left, no, I didn't really, you know, it's just that kind of fun. But-
Starting point is 00:27:39 Yeah, I'm not even gonna lie. When I saw it, I said, okay. I was like, he got his white friends? I don't know, but it was his idea. I think Jay, I don't think I would have done that if it wasn't right from him. And he said it once about two months before and I said, I don't know if we would be good at that. I said, I don't know. I said, listen, I'd do anything for you if you want me to do it, but he wanted to make it more of a big event. And then Netflix, they were all like brainstorming what ways to do a live
Starting point is 00:28:07 show and keep it fun, more of a thing. And, uh, and we did, it wasn't bad. It was just, he's the shit, you know, just watching him. What's there to say really. And then afterwards, we were supposed to summarize it. Y'all did great. I mean, I know Chappelle was at home like, why the fuck they didn't call me, son? I was waiting. I was waiting for the call. It never happened.
Starting point is 00:28:29 I don't know why. I was available, nigga. I was there, nigga. I could have been there, son. Could have been there, but they didn't pick me. It's all good. I'll be working on my 17th Netflix special next year. It's called, did he do it? Oh, come on. I'm just joking. Nice. You don't hear it. You're able to make yourself a smoker basically. You got that.
Starting point is 00:28:58 I don't know if you are, but you got that. Thank you, Bill Maher. Thank you so much, Bill. It's all really helped you on that. That ganja. By the way, when I did Bill Maher, I'm like, I cannot start with your weed. I haven't smoked in a long time and I'm not jumping ahead to this vortex. So I just drank Tito's, but it's a good scam because it gets you off guard a little bit because when I'm
Starting point is 00:29:25 baked, forget it. And if I'm at least drunk, I sound kind of stupid and I go on and on, but it's within the realm of some thought, but forget it. If it's strong weed, I have no idea. There's a bit of lucidness with some tequila where weed, you just stuck. You're trying to put together sentences and you can't. I was struggling. I'm just letting you just stuck. You're just trying to, you're trying to put together sentences and you can't. I was, I was struggling. I'm just letting you know the struggle was real for me on that God day show.
Starting point is 00:29:51 Just let you know. And the second you catch yourself going, oh wait, I'm fucking waste. And you go, I gotta pull out of this and try to be normal. It's so hard. It's scary actually. Yeah. And then everybody's watching you too, but you know, whatever, you're a human being, man.
Starting point is 00:30:07 Weed shops now, like they look like Apple stores. They remember that they just look like Apple stores now. It's so weird. It's so weird now how the world has changed. Thanks, Gen Z. It's so weird how the world has changed, bro. Well, we used to have Maui Zowie, this is in the late 70s, and you take a hit or pass it around. Now I see Bill on the zoom and other people modern pot smoking
Starting point is 00:30:32 is a giant like a cigar size joint and and really smoking it by yourself like multiple hits yeah yeah yeah okay and then more hits I mean it, it's, see, how do you, the fact that you got through it, but can I do my one marijuana bit for you? Yeah. Yeah, sure. Spades heard this one, since we're on the topic. Why do people after they take a hit, continue to talk? So anyway, like my dad, you know, he,
Starting point is 00:31:01 he never really came to any of my games, you know? That's kind of a simple one, but it's fucking funny actually. It's so simple. I can't believe no one's had so good. You can have it. Yeah. So we should start an Ayahuasca podcast. Just throw up and then interview people.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Everyone knows Ayahuasca. Start one. Just throw up and then interview people. Everyone knows I was. Wait, yes. Please and have it and have a, what is it? Westbrook have, have Will Smith's company, have Will Smith's company. Uh, uh, uh, I don't know. Or have Will Smith in the building too. I don't know. Does he do it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:37 He's yeah. He's big on Ida waska bro. I have you all done it. I've heard about it. I've never tried it before, but I've heard that it opens up portals and butts. Yeah. Ron White, I think was the one who went on and really got into detail.
Starting point is 00:31:55 Really? Either got the shits or you throw up. I got the shit. When I went to Puffy's, they offered me that. They said, it'll really open up your portals. I go, sir, I don't know if that's what I want the shit. When I went to Puffy's, they offered me that. They said, it'll really open up your portals. I go, sir, I don't know if that's what I want right now. Sir, like a submarine captain? Yeah, cause Puffy goes-
Starting point is 00:32:11 It's gonna open up your portals, private. Here's some baby oil and the portals will be open soon. Here we go. There we go. We're back, we're back. We're back. We're back to Puffy. Back to P.
Starting point is 00:32:22 It's a running bit. Permission to open your portals, P. So running big. Yeah. Permission to open your portal, sir. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Well, Ayahuasca is not on my list, but people really like it, but I feel like people are always trying to figure out life and the meaning of life. And I think just one more thing, like maybe this will make things make sense for me.
Starting point is 00:32:42 So I get that. Fix me. Yeah. Fix me. Fix how I look at the world or wake me up or I don't know, but it's always a struggle. It's a heavy podcast. This is going to turn very heavy. This is heavy today.
Starting point is 00:32:55 No, after that, we can switch it. We can talk about the fact that you got people who are marrying themselves and getting divorced. That's wild. Yeah, that's true. How the hell, how the hell you can't deal with yourself? How the hell you expect me to deal with you if you can't deal with your god damn self?
Starting point is 00:33:14 That don't make no damn sense to me, Tiffany Haddish. I just don't understand. I knew I heard that voice. She was on the podcast a couple of weeks ago. I knew, yeah. Did she marry herself? He snuck up. She married herself, right? She married herself. Yeah. She married herself and decided to,
Starting point is 00:33:33 decided that it was over. It's too much. I don't know. Hey, in the words of NLE Choppa, which I'm pretty sure you guys don't know who the hell it is If I was a bad if I was a bad chick, I will want to off me too I did that's literally a song if I was a bad bitch I would want to off me too. I would want to suck me too. Nothing freaky that I wouldn't do Yes, these are the new these are the new these are the kids now. I'm a kid, but I'm calling them kids.
Starting point is 00:34:09 I'm a big kid. They're little kids. And they and they're just so salacious and nasty. I didn't know what a gooch was. I didn't know what a gooch was. Now it's the gooch is your taint. Your taint. That's your gooch. Taint's finally getting some attention. Jesus, it's taking this long. And it's been going everywhere.
Starting point is 00:34:28 And as soon as the rights were realized by America, they switched the name to Gooch. So now it's a gooch. Is that right, Ed? A gooch. I did not know that. You know what they're calling the taint now, Ed? It's called a gooch. Is that weird? Hey, oh, gooch. Tickle myaint now, Ed. It's called a gooch. Is that weird? Hey, old gooch. Tickle my gooch, Johnny, right during the commercial, yes.
Starting point is 00:34:51 Hey, hold on, Ed. Hey, hold on, Johnny, hold on, Johnny. We can talk about this now. Nah, I'll be honest with you. I don't know if I've ever had, I know some bad women that would probably love to lick up on my gooch. Eddie Murphy, I gotcha.
Starting point is 00:35:07 Well, well, Eddie Murphy. Get ready for Las Vegas style action at Bet MGM, the king of online casinos. Enjoy casino games at your fingertips with the same Vegas strip excitement MGM is famous for when you play the classics, excitement MGM is famous for when you play the classics like MGM Grand Millions or popular games like Blackjack, Baccarat and Roulette. With our ever-growing library of digital slot games,
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Starting point is 00:37:22 Let it be. No, just how was it as you? Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. No, I thought it was. I thought it was, oh, you asked me, is Eddie Murphy, let it be. No, just how was it as you? Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. No, I thought it was, I thought it was good. It was fun, man. Um, you know, it was nostalgic, but it still had a, it had a new flair to it. You know, it was dope seeing, um, seeing his daughter and it also, her husband was in it. Um, and, uh, oh, my boy, a fiance on Crockett, got a little bit of shine in that movie, but I think it was, I think, I think they did a good job, man. I feel like it was good.
Starting point is 00:37:47 Yeah, I never heard anything bad about it. I mean, I've heard it was funny and, uh, shit to do a fourth one is tough. It's a big job, but. Yeah, man. You know, it's got a great theme song. Once you hear that, you triggered it in a good way. Yeah. And then you see Eddie Murphy walking down, you know, you're just in.
Starting point is 00:38:07 It's like comedies. I mean, everyone on the podcast mentions David's Joe Dirt movie. Just 90s comedies that are fun. Can I tell you something? Can I tell you something, David? That is one of my favorite movies when the when the it was when the, porta potty gets knocked over.
Starting point is 00:38:27 Oh my gosh. It's just, oh no, there was so many good- Let's not give the whole movie away. You already, that was the best scene. No reason to see it now. Spoiler, spoiler. No reason to see the film. It's so, dude, you in a mullet,
Starting point is 00:38:43 you in a freaking mullet in the innocence that that character had. You were just rooting for him the whole time, man. I love it. I have to say. I love that movie. Partially the reason it worked, I thought, Dana, was I was always playing so sarcastic in every movie and every show,
Starting point is 00:38:57 and out of the blue, no one expects to be a nice, genuine guy that actually is bullied and pushed around and trying to make his way through life. And then people are like, I think more people got hit like out of the blue going, oh, I kind of relate to this guy getting shit on the whole time and then trying to still get through. And so not to sound heavy, but there is a tinge of that other than it's just a goofy movie. Yeah. But thank you, bud. I like to hear that.
Starting point is 00:39:23 Yeah, brother. You know, y'all are both legends, man. I grew up watching y'all, which is crazy to be up here right now conversing as we look like we're about to go on a R&B tour with these black shirts. Yeah, I don't know. Who would be the, who's Michael Jackson? Who would be Michael Jackson if we all went on,
Starting point is 00:39:43 we all did a R&B tour? I don't know, it would be- It'd be you. It'd be you, yeah, who's Michael Jackson? Who would be Michael Jackson if we all went on, we all did an R&B tour? I don't know. It would be, it would be. It'd be you. It'd be you, yeah. Think it's me? Think I'm the Michael Jackson? Well, you could move, you could move, right?
Starting point is 00:39:53 I mean, you can, you could move like Michael a little bit. I mean, I could, I could do a moonwalk. It's more like a moon slide. It ain't, it ain't really a walk. It's more like a slide or the moon. I don't, I can't f that. Shuffle? That's the word I'm looking for.
Starting point is 00:40:08 The weed is still hitting me. I think you can sing. Yeah. I think you could sing more than I could. Maybe Danny can sing too. But you all are closer in skin tone. Yeah, that's true. I'm probably the whitest of all three of us.
Starting point is 00:40:21 So I might win this one. I can win the latest, latest Michael Jackson. Bill Maher just texted me and he said the weed I gave Jay was called Five Day. Are you serious? No, I just made that up. But that sounds good. I believed it. I believed it. Dana, you can be a politician. Really? You can be a politician. old boy. Oh, please, people. Jay, I've got some bad news. I wasn't going to tell you to the end of the podcast. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:51 Lay it on us. My shirt's green. Oh, snap. Wow. I'm colorblind. That's crazy. I didn't want to be a fucking comedy killer, so I just played it out. But I think we got all the juice out of it.
Starting point is 00:41:04 Yeah. It does. I mean, it does. It looks black. It looks black. I know. Listen, I go, Dana usually wears a black shirt. So I, it's on me to really mix it up and really pop and really try new things. But I go, here's a green shirt.
Starting point is 00:41:19 Then I got on this morning. I go, I think it's black. Is this black or green? Then I go, it's dark green. And then who knew you'd wear a black t-shirt then everything. They've really flipped over the apple cart. I'll tell you that Michael Che was on this podcast a couple of weeks ago. And he goes, Oh yeah, you're going to saw my black t-shirt.
Starting point is 00:41:37 And he goes, he goes, yeah, white stand up in a black t-shirt. It's like George Carlin or something. He said, that's a thing. He says, that's a thing. You know, I mean, I gotta get, I'm going to wear blue on the next podcast. I think Shane Gillis always says, I think Theo wears a black t-shirt. Uh, so maybe there is something to this. I do.
Starting point is 00:42:01 But yeah, we definitely should go out. It's more lazy than anything. Let's go to Largo and call ourself the Coconuts and just do like, take suggestions from the audience. Hi, hello, we're the Coconuts. And just take, you know, cop at a McDonald's or whatever. And then we riff. We go, we're gonna riff off this.
Starting point is 00:42:18 We're gonna hand out this list of pre-written suggestions. Just read something off that. And we'll do, they call it stock prob. Now you can open for improv, improv groups. And then the next night they go movie style and the audience, someone would yell, Woody Allen. Then they'd all go, yeah, sure. You know, it was like, that's not improv.
Starting point is 00:42:40 I like stock prob. I could do that. You never heard of that stock prob? No, I love it. Stock prob. Stock prob. So we shouldprav? No, I love it. Stockprav. So we should talk about your six years on SNL. Are you, uh, what's your, what's the first word that pops in your head? I'll be Barbara Walt. I'll be Oprah.
Starting point is 00:42:58 First word. The first word that pops in my head when I think about my six seasons of SNL. Um, first couple of words. Uh, let's see here. that pops in my head when I think about my six seasons of SNL. First couple words. Let's see here. A life in my second, changing, life changing, man. I used to work at Burlington Coal Factory. So shoot. Oh, you did?
Starting point is 00:43:16 Yeah. I love it. It was either do sketches or do layaways. I think I made the right decision. I like layaways. I like that people are always shocked that someone famous did something before. You're like, well, no shit.
Starting point is 00:43:28 I'm just trying to do anything to get in there. Like, you stayed in a Marriott? Someone asked me once, I go, I would die to stay in a Marriott, my whole, I mean, what are you talking about? They just think we live here and like we went to some kind of kiosk by the beach. Excuse me, could I get a ticket for six years on Saturday night live, please?
Starting point is 00:43:46 Yeah. Okay. Thank you. I really appreciate it. It was, it was a whirlwind. It was a whirlwind and you know, listen, every job is, every job has its ups, every job has its downs, but you know, the ups are ups and that's what you got to really, that's what you really got to focus on, man. You know, and luckily, luckily I'm still out here and I'm getting invitations.
Starting point is 00:44:10 I'm getting invitations to the 50th, you know what I'm saying? That's a miracle. There's so many people that I won't be shocked if anyone doesn't get one because just too many. So we're doing good. We all got that email. I framed my email. I framed actually a whole computer.
Starting point is 00:44:24 I laminated my computer. That's what I did. I just laminated my computer. That's a good idea We all got that email. I framed my email. I framed actually a whole computer. I laminated my computer. That's what I did. I just laminated my computer. Just wear that. Just, it's just on my neck. Just bling it. Yeah. So maybe just an iPad size.
Starting point is 00:44:35 Check this shit out guys. You get that shit? Uh, yeah, I agree with you that when you go into SNL, like there's definitely people, I bet you every day, someone knows you from SNL. Yep. That is not. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:44:51 And even if not, even if not on the street, I'll get it. I'll see a email or I'll see a direct message or whatever it is. And I mean, that place is an institution, man. And, um, and I was 22 when I got that show. So that was crazy. It was a little baby. How long you went off? 10 years?
Starting point is 00:45:10 I have, it's been eight actually. It's been eight years. Whoa, wait a minute now. Wait, hold on. No, eight years, eight years. I've been off for eight years. Yeah, yeah. Eight years.
Starting point is 00:45:19 Every year there's a new ex-SNL cast member that is out back into, McGinnon as used to be on SNL. Like at some point you join us as Tracy Morgan just calls me alum when I run into him. He calls you alum. He calls you alum. He calls you alum. I like alum better.
Starting point is 00:45:39 Hey you know because your Dana Carvey is nothing but alum. That's all he is. He's just alum. Lump lump lump he calls. I'm not her. Hey, you know, because your Dana Carvey's nothing but a lump. That's all he is. He's just a lump. Lump, lump, lumpy Carvey. I call him Lumpy Carvey.
Starting point is 00:45:52 Say it, is this the way, the first thing you ever said to me, it doesn't get any easier, Mr. D, in a very low-key fashion when I met him. Does it? Does not get any easier Mr. D. I think he had a fight with his wife at the time. So you mean getting off of SNL and going into reg real show business in the real world? That's when he was just on the show.
Starting point is 00:46:14 He was kind of, you know, just sort of just musing. I just remembered that. I think, I think he was, I think he's talking about the workload and everything. And Tracy, Tracy gives advice. He gave me advice. He said, you need to give them all long. You need to bottom all, uh, white castle burgers. That's what I used to do.
Starting point is 00:46:34 I used to give them dookie burgers. All the time. Who's he talking about? The cast or crew? Writers, right? Anybody. Y'all think aliens exist? I like him moving his head. How you know?
Starting point is 00:46:48 You never seen one. What about dinosaurs? You ain't seen dinosaurs either. He leans back. I told my grandmother about dinosaurs, she said, shut up boy, you ain't never seen one. I like how when I do a joke, I go like this. He goes back. That's better.
Starting point is 00:47:11 You ain't never seen one. Yeah. That's true, I haven't seen a dinosaur. I've seen a lizard. We're seeing a lot of act outs from Jay. I like it. I know it's a rip off. This is not video, Jay.
Starting point is 00:47:20 He's moving in and out of the frame, taking on these characters. High quality bits. Yo! High quality riffing. Are you kidding me? I thought that this was, I've been putting out all this extra energy
Starting point is 00:47:33 and this is only audio? Oh man. No, but you know what? Maybe we tape it, we give you a clip. You know what? This guy's a good guy, give him a clip. I think so, please. Well, fuck, I was even thinking before it started, I go, God, maybe we can clip him even though
Starting point is 00:47:47 I look like fuck pie, but we should clip him because he's everything he said. We can wait a month and if you feel like it, you can zoom in on our other podcast. Oh yeah, I just do. Superfly, where we just do whatever we want. We recreate. We do what we're doing now. And then it's on video. God, look at this. We'd love to have you. I saw you do. I saw you Trump. Give me a little
Starting point is 00:48:10 man. Oh my God. Yeah. They're eating your cats and your dogs. They're eating the cats. They're eating the dogs. They're eating the pets. They're literally turning your puppies into hush puppies. That's what they're doing. You know what? You want to know something? I noticed him and Lauren both do this. They both suck the air through the teeth. You ever see Lauren looking? When he's, when he's looking at his phone and you're in the elevator with him, he's looking down. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He does that. Like Trump does the same thing. It's like they yeah, yeah, yeah. He does that like Trump. It's like they got oh, yeah It's like they ate
Starting point is 00:48:49 Yeah Food sucking it through a straw. Yeah, it's not a call at all and Trump's like jumps. Yes. Yes. I was at a barbecue I got it. I got invited to the barbecue with many African Americans. They absolutely love me. They do. Tell you what I brought to this barbecue. Actually, I brought the potato salad and guess what? There were no raisins whatsoever in the potato salad. What? So ever.
Starting point is 00:49:19 It's the freezer part. That's good. He's, you know, he's kind of thinking maybe during that. He's kind of getting ready for his next thought, what he's going to say. He loves to riff. He doesn't want to stop talking. So he forces himself to do that, fit in that breath.
Starting point is 00:49:33 Cause like that's when he can't talk for like a second. By the way, no one's giving him the light at those rallies. Because he's literally like, what else is going on? I'm like, this is like when I follow guys and they get, they ran the light by 10 minutes and they're like, what's going on in the front row? I'm like, no, no, nothing, get off there. You're done.
Starting point is 00:49:53 Anytime you start getting shot, giving shout outs, you've run out of material. You know what I'm saying? Exactly. Give it up for the ladies. We're getting rid. Oh yeah. We're getting rid of the communists and the fascists and the Marxists. We're getting rid of the dog catches and the acrobats, the librarians.
Starting point is 00:50:11 They all got to go. We're going to get rid of them. No, that's good. That's dope. The librarians, the library, the books, the books are filled with knowledge that doesn't make sense. knowledge that doesn't make sense. It absolutely doesn't make sense. Have you tried Biden?
Starting point is 00:50:31 Yeah. You know, it's, uh, holy hell. Hey, my keys were right here. They were right here in front of me. And now I can't find them. Where are the keys? Kamala, have you seen my keys? Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:51 They've got to be somewhere. I timed out for 10 seconds, but I'm back. He's freezing. I like when he freezes. I'm like, that was good. You froze. Yeah, he's buffering. That like, that was good. You froze. Yeah, he's buffering. That's what's happening there.
Starting point is 00:51:07 We need to check. We need to see what percentage he's on. He's buffering. That's 76%. He's still loading up. We need to check. He needs a fast charger. Stick a fast charger in his ass.
Starting point is 00:51:19 Just use Diddy's baby oil. It'll work. Trust me. We'll see. Oh my God. Diddy's baby oil made another appearance? We got a theme, man. We got a theme for this podcast.
Starting point is 00:51:30 He does, I like when Joe just stares off and it's like you're watching a zoom and he froze. You're like, is it me? It looks like he's not moving. What's going on? And then he goes, yeah. And you go, oh, you're out of it? Yeah, you go, you froze like that?
Starting point is 00:51:44 Okay. It looks like what, guess what? And by the way, the fact is he's getting real. Not kidding around. I could do it better. You can do it. Everything is a big boy guy. Yes. I wrote the bill.
Starting point is 00:52:01 I wrote the bill, you know, the whisper and then he's, yeah, that's a good look. He definitely, he definitely whispers and screams, but when he's this face that he's given, he's thinking about, he's like, he's, he's thinking about all the racist things that have happened over the last 400 years. That's what he's doing. And he's, he's trying to be cool with it. I can't believe that happened. I'm sorry I I didn't mean didn't mean for that to happen But uh, by the way, if you don't vote for Joe you ain't black that was racist. Damn it, Joe You got to watch your tongue, but it's cool. Yeah, you're on the Breakfast Club with Charlamagne. How you doing Charlamagne? I love Charlamagne
Starting point is 00:52:42 Charlton Charlotton to God Charlotton to God. Charlotten to God. Vote for me. All right. Bring that fucking corn pop in here. That's what we got to do. He feels bad for beating corn pops ass. What? He feels bad because he beat up corn pop when he was a kid.
Starting point is 00:53:04 Remember, he goes, corn pop came to me in the school, I fucking knocked his ass out. He talked about a guy he used to beat up and it's like, no one can find him sir, this story sounds a little fictitious. Took him out behind a wood shed, beat the hell out of him. Are you Dave, a claims-free hybrid driving university grad who signed up online? Well Dave, this jingles for you. Not Dave, no problem. TD Insurance has over 30 ways to save on home and auto. So... insurance has over thirty ways to save on home and auto so
Starting point is 00:53:47 save like only you can at td insurance dot com slash ways to save td ready for you can i do my one obama bit for jay there's a lot of cases uh... this is obama touring around and not do it using their serams educate for three artless art jack and jill one up the hill uh...
Starting point is 00:54:09 the federal water which jill up to jack and jack looked at you and jill up to jack and jill said i'd like to be a jack uh... so jack and jack came down the hill
Starting point is 00:54:23 but i don't know it's a teaching teachable So Jack and Jack came down the hill. Teachable moment. Teachable moment. Yeah, nursery rhymes. You can run with it. Nursery rhymes. And the thought, how progressive that joke was. I love the contemporary sense of the joke. I would, Jill, you said Jack and Jack came down
Starting point is 00:54:40 because Jill champ, that was brilliant, man. That was brilliant. The Obama just told me that I was that that's that's brilliant, man. That that was brilliant. The Obama just told me that I was just being too uptight on the show and I needed to relax. I said, well, I ain't got nothing to do with me. If it was my choice, I had this character called Choco Boba way before. That was the first I was like the first idea I had brought to ask the man was Choco Boba. And oh, yeah. Oh idea I have brought to estimate which choco bomb and oh yeah well
Starting point is 00:55:09 Everybody's stressing me the hell out because it's really just Obama's subconscious it is Literally everything I want to say I don't think it's not gonna get thick up in here if you keep talking to me like that Because what I will do are these paws are deadly. That's right. One, two, baby. And if one goes out, the other one is going to knock your punk ass out. That's what's going to happen because I'm tired of you talking trash. I'm sick and you're in it. And I've been reserved for too long.
Starting point is 00:55:37 Now I'm busted out. Break out. And if I break out, I'm going to kick your ass. And there's nothing else you can do about it because I'm from Chicago, baby. And I know how to box. And if not, I'm going to kick your ass and there's nothing else you can do about it because I'm from Chicago baby and I know how to box and if not, I know Mike Tyson, he'll come out and knock your ass out too because I can pay people to get the job done. Like, yeah, it was it. It was, that would have been, that could, you know, we did Reagan mastermind in the eighties with Phil Hartman where he was a doddering old man and then the guests would
Starting point is 00:56:02 leave and then he was brilliant. So that would have been great that Obama's very contained and, you know, polite and gentle and we'll see all later. It's going to get taken in. And then behind the scenes, it was like, you know. That's great. You got to do one more. I know you got, we got you a little longer, but I have to request one.
Starting point is 00:56:19 Would Jay Farrell podcast goes by fast? Because he's fucking funny. Denzel Washington. I don't know any way you want to try. Okay. Can I first of all say that there's certain impressions people do and your Denzel is in the magic category. Like it, it's not an easy one and you, well, anyway, just do it, but it's in the magic. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:40 To find it. Frank Caliendo doing, he's got one. Madden. Madden or he really wound. Rudin. Morgan Freeman. He wound down on that. There's certain ones, Kevin Pollock doing William Shatner, but you're Denzel and you have so many impressions. But anyway, here we are with the great,
Starting point is 00:57:03 the great, one of the greatest actors of all time, Mr. Denzel Washington. How are you, sir? The face is good too. Well, you know, I feel, you know, I feel amazing this morning because, um, you know, life is good. I woke up, uh, I don't have any video footage. I have to take that, take that mansion.
Starting point is 00:57:18 I gotta bring that back. Why do I have to bring him back? Cause we keep on talking about it. You know why? Cause because it's, it's fresh material, right? I feel good. But I tell you this, if I don't win an Oscar for doing Gladiator 2, I'm walking out with something. I'm leaving with something. That's right. And it might be somebody's mom or wife. That's right. Okay. Paul Letter gave me a hall pass. Okay. And if I get that hall pass, I'm going to smack your mama's ass. That's right. And if I get that hall pass, I'm gonna smack yo mama's ass.
Starting point is 00:57:45 That's right. Yeah. All right. Okay. Okay. All right. Yeah. My G, my G.
Starting point is 00:57:51 That's what it is. Yeah. That's what it is, right? I met, I met Denzel when he saw me. He was just like, oh yeah, you owe me a lot of money Negro. You know that, right? You owe me a lot of money.
Starting point is 00:58:01 Oh, that's right. I'm keeping you hot. I'm keeping you hot and you're a lot taller than I thought you were too tall. Yeah, you're tall, Pharaoh. And you got an arm on you, right? You owe me a lot of money. Oh, that's right. I'm keeping you hot. I'm keeping you hot and you're a lot taller than I thought you were too tall. Yeah. You're tall, Pharaoh. When you got an arm on you, right? Yeah. You've been working out. I love Denzel. You got to see him. How cool. I never see that guy. It was at the, uh, AFI, uh, AFI lifetime achievement award. He was there, you know, he was being honored and, um, that was, that, that was great. And And I asked I asked him if I could take a picture with him. I was like, yo, can I take a picture
Starting point is 00:58:29 with you? And I kept this I kept the first time I asked he had turned away. He turned around because Chris Tucker, this is a real star. I'm not making this up. Chris Tucker. Come in, come in, man. My son, man. Oh, I'm looking like I was like, come on, Chris. I went up to a mat. my son, man. Come on, I'm looking like God damn. I was like, come on, Chris. I went up to him after. I said, man, I was trying to take, he said, man, go over there and talk to him, man. He'll take a picture with you, man. He cool, he cool, man.
Starting point is 00:58:53 He blood type peanut butter, man. He real smooth, man, he smooth. So I walked up to him and I said, Denzel, I said, can I take a picture with you? He was like, yeah, you can take a picture if you can bend down. I'll take a picture with you? He was like, yeah, you can take a picture if you can bend down. I'll take a picture with you, because he was sitting.
Starting point is 00:59:09 And I said, for you Denzel, I said, hey, I'm not going to bend over for nobody, but I will bend down for you Denzel. So you see me in the picture, squatting down like this. And Denzel's just got the face. He ain't even smiling. He looked like he was just like,
Starting point is 00:59:24 I wish they could see it. Is it? I know that's a good one. He just had to live. So yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah. I know that look. Yeah. It's great. Denzel's one of those ones, man.
Starting point is 00:59:34 Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't chase it. He's kind of mysterious still. He's an actual real movie star. And I love using gladiator that really ups gladiator. I'm telling you. Have to see the movie anyway, because the first one was brilliant.
Starting point is 00:59:47 And of course, with Denzel, he's going to be amazing because he doesn't know how to do anything else. Does he ever host or he never hosted? No, he's never hosted. Will Smith has never hosted. Weird, weird. Will hasn't. Yeah, maybe a straight comedy guy. Maybe he must have been invited at some point.
Starting point is 01:00:06 I mean, absolutely. You know, cause he's Will Smith. Well, Will has always got the invite. He can always come in. Yeah, he can. Yeah, you know, he comes at his own. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, he's just a free spirit.
Starting point is 01:00:19 Whenever he wants to show up, you know, we'll have a hot seat waiting for him. You know, with a hot hour and 30 of material. We're ready. Yeah, we're ready. Yeah, we're ready. Fifteen sketches made to order. You'll find that we're very, we're very, we're nice to our hosts.
Starting point is 01:00:35 You know, we, we, we take care of you. Um, I haven't finished talking, so just wait a moment. Would you like some popcorn? How long did you wait to meet Lauren? Jay, do you remember? How long did it take me? When you're outside the office and they go, Lauren wants to see you right now. That means two hours.
Starting point is 01:00:57 It was about, yeah, exactly. Yeah. It was, it was a while. It had to be, it had to be at least, it was two to three hours for me. I remember that. I didn't care. I was sweating under my pits and all types of stuff. I didn't care, man.
Starting point is 01:01:12 I was, this is freaking Lorne Michaels. I walk in and I meet him and we're talking. And I'm trying not to come off like Donald Glover because I heard about the stories with him. And then three weeks later, you know, I got the job, man. First, that's crazy. Twenty twenty two at what was Eddie was 19. Was anyone else younger than 22 to get David said, David said was one.
Starting point is 01:01:40 And I think Robert Downey Jr. might have been 20 years old as well. You know what I mean? She's Louise. Yeah. I was 47 when I got the phone. Yeah, you're a hundred. I'm a hundred right now. So I'm 94, but I have Eastwood's dermatologist.
Starting point is 01:01:55 So, you know, Eastwood. Eastwood. Jay, thank you, brother. And, uh, I appreciate you sitting with us. You're always funny. You're always out there. You're doing dates and stand-ups, stuff like that. What's the, you do dates,
Starting point is 01:02:07 and then what's the show you're on right now I see the promotions for? I got a quiz. Well, my game show, game show. I'm right on, I'm on Fox with you, David. I'm on Fox with you, man. Oh yeah. What is it called, Balls Out or something?
Starting point is 01:02:19 Yeah, I wish it was. It's called the Quiz with Balls. That's what it's called. Oh, the Quiz with Balls. It just, I knew when. It shocks me when I'm in restaurants and people come up to me to like, and I'm just like, Oh snap. Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 01:02:33 I do say that. People get the shit knocked out of them. That's the fun part. That's the, that is so, it's so much fun. And it's such a good melding of genres. You got, you got, well, two shows together. You got family feud crossed with wipeout. I mean, you got, well, two shows together. You got Family Feud crossed with Wipeout. I mean, you learn stuff and you have fun. And, you know, I had been talking to Fox for years, trying to figure out something. But when that idea came, I said, this makes sense.
Starting point is 01:02:55 Because I look at Steve Harvey and all his shows that he got, and I've been saying to myself like, hey, boy, hey, boy, you got to get yourself some of this game show money boy. You don't even understand because there's a lot of people out there that can't host but you got to be the person that's going to host it like it's supposed to be hosted boy because that's what you do boy. If you get a beer in this Ellen circle, boy, you're going to be rich for the rest of your life boy.
Starting point is 01:03:24 That's what we're going to take. Steve Harvey made an appearance. That's cool. I like watching people fall in the show. Yeah. No, that's just the mashup. Sounds brilliant. Family Feud meets Wipeout. And I also got my special that just dropped, that's getting received ubiquitously. Well, man Yo, I'm so happy that people have taken to it. I put it on my I put it on my on my YouTube It's up for you. So you can check it out. It's called Jared, which is my actual name. I
Starting point is 01:03:55 Really will I really will encourage people to comment? You know, I mean I'll comment back I'll engage with you man because I really just gave it to the fans because I haven't put one out in like nine years. I haven't shot one in 10 years. So and I got another one after this that's coming out. There's virtual reality that's already shot. And I'm already kind of I'm almost ready for the next one to shoot as far as another another special of mine. So I'm just moving, bro. I feel like I had to get on the road. Cause when you're on SNL, you're on SNL all the time, you don't get the reps there like you can with stand up comedy because you gotta be on the show. So I had time, you feel me?
Starting point is 01:04:38 I had time and what came out, it was a beautiful result, bro. So I just, yeah, people just watch it, man. Just give it a look, because it's really a special. That's what Chris Rock told me. YouTube is a great place to put a special, because that's where everything ends up anyway.
Starting point is 01:04:55 I'm on YouTube constantly. Everybody's house. Yeah. Absolutely. What Chris Rock say to me? Chris Rock said to me, you gotta make a special, man. You make a special, right? You got to make a special, okay?
Starting point is 01:05:08 Because if you don't, I didn't do anything good till I was 30, man. Motherfuckers are making normals. You got to make us special. You know what I mean? So I think it is. I think it's special, man. So.
Starting point is 01:05:22 Good job. Jared on YouTube. J-A-R-R-O-D? J-A-R-E-D. No, that's Jared. Jared, J-A-R-E-D on YouTube. Yes, sir. All right, you got it all cooking, man.
Starting point is 01:05:36 Really nice hanging out with you. Yes, sir. We'll see you around campus. Yeah, yeah. We'll see you around campus. I'm here. I'll be in the spillover room. Yeah. We'll sit together and just shit on the whole show. What if we're all three in in the spillover room.
Starting point is 01:05:47 We'll sit together and just show the whole story in the fucking spillover room. Oh, it's going to be fucking horrible. That'd be great. We'll have each other. We'll do bits back and forth until until Prince Prince's hologram is on the stage because he's no longer available. We'll do this holograms in the spillover room. All right. Bye bye. OK, take care, Jay. Appreciate'll do that. There's holograms in the spillover room. Wow. All right.
Starting point is 01:06:05 Bye, bud. Okay. Take care, Jay. Appreciate it, man. All right, man. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review. All this stuff, smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 01:06:19 Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.

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