Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Jelly Roll, Jed York, and Jealousy

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

“I’ve Always Wanted to Do It In a Trailer Park”

It's like you. You're, um... It is. You're like, uh... Yes. Sequestered was, this is probably the biggest word. That is like, ever. If he's not jelly rope, could he be...

Unsweet jelly roll? How about, ladies and gentlemen, split pee? How about real fruit roll? You really wanted to make love on the, Pirates Caribbean ride. Right. If it was on a really slow day in the back seat. That's my scratch itch.

Dana, live from Joyce. You know what's funny about Joyce is the city is like Hoboken, Yonkers. I know those names. So funny. Yeah. You just hear him. Hey, go over get a piece of pie at Hoboken. Want to do that.

Do people still talk like that? Or did Sopranos? end it. You know, it's funny. It's funny when Adams on the movie because he is sort of a real-life soprano. It's not a bad analogy because

he's sort of the boss of everything. And then his kids come and he's like this nice dad. He's got to do family life. And he's got to movie life. And he puts so much into the family life on top of putting so much into the movie. Guys got his hands full, I tell you. So the kids come in the set

and need daddy time? Well, they come to the set because they have, well, they do come to the set a lot no matter where we're shooting. They would come if they can. Yeah. And Jackie's in the movie. Oh, okay. So they come. And then also when we go to dinners and stuff, they usually will pop it and say hi if they can.

But it's all just a family affair. Yeah. Tom Hank said it's what his family does. We're storytellers. everybody is an actor, writer. Oh, yeah, you're right. You're right. Yeah.

It's like you. You're, um... It is. You're like, uh... Yes. Well, your old thing is like, you know, I don't know. What would you say? I went to McDonald's for four minutes and here's a 20 minute story about it.

That's fantastic. And you always land it. But anyway, so. Would you call yourself first and foremost? I'm David Spade, stand-up comedian, or would you add other layers to that actor? The simplest way to say is international superstar. No, international presence.

Man of mystery. I'm just an international presence. Whatever that means. No, I was going to say, well, you're a writer. Yeah, I would say, stand up at the beginning. but I wrote my stand-up. So I really like to lean on the writer part because that's the hardest part.

Did you write it? Really? My stand-up? Yeah. Yeah, it was a compilation of Billy Crystal albums, George Carlin albums. No, I would write those jokes,

which, you know, arguable jokes, whatever. And then I got older, S&L hired as a writer-performer, which I didn't really want. You don't, that's like, sequestered to the writing table. That Thursday is the hardest day of the week. You have 14 hours of just

rewriting someone else's sketch. Let me ask you a question. And I can't believe I don't know the answer to this because we've gone over this topic. So you go in, when you go on as a feature, you get a writing credit. If you go in the main company, you don't get a writer's credit.

So when you went into the main company, did your writing credit go away on SNO? Yes. And you... along with others would write, and they don't like that to overlap, right? They don't like to give cast to writer credit. Well, they're like, yeah, the main cast,

I mean, you get to be on the show and everything. We're just, you know. And you're paid more technically. But then your whole post-SNO life, hey, did you come up with that stuff? You know, hey, who came up with that George Bush senior impression or who wrote that? It's like a little bit.

Who wrote those inflections? What's that, chinchillard? guy who did that. Right. Tell that guy, good job. But hey, I don't know what you're saying, dude, but listen, bro, when I look at the credits,

I don't see your name. You say you right. I don't see any proof of it. By the way, bro and dude have made a comeback because dude I was listening to Theo with Billy Strings. It was really entertaining.

But the amount of time, because I came from Dude, dude started in the 60s, dude, come on, dude, but now bro has been out. No, seriously, bro. No, dude, hear me out, bro. Dude, I mean, it's really big now. It's very cool that it's made a comeback. I like the girl and do.

I like the girls say bro, bro. Yeah. Or kids say it to their parents a lot. Or bra. What's up, bra? I don't like bra as much, but it is out there. Bra was sequestered, my new word, to Hawaii. And then it sort of filtered out to the world.

sequestered was this is probably the biggest word you that is like that's that's that's like what is a sequester i don't even know if i'm using it right i just throw it in and people just shrug it off and go for sure i guess so i'll give them that one it's i think it's involuntarily being put somewhere they're sequestered or yeah they're stuck or secret papers or information is being sequestered you know isn't when a jury sequestered where they're hidden yes can't leave the jury is sequestered. We learned a lot. We try to educate.

I saw all these words. Now, we can't complain about the education system America. I would never. But 1% of people can read. But other than that, it's like, I'm joking, but, you know, they gave a list of like 15 words. I'll bring this next week. And they're like going to graduate saying, you're in special classes. Right.

Read these 15 words. And they always say they got them all right. Just so they could pronounce it them properly or identify what they mean. Yeah, like if they had sequestered, they would just go sequins. Not a chance on a definition, but just. And there are some tricky ones. I didn't even pretty much all of them. Well, on fourth grade, it was really big to be able to spell out supercalifragilistic

expialitious from which movie? Julie Andrews Mary Poppins Yeah So that was a big flex To be able to write that out I saw the To get the girls

Mary gets popped In the shorts My dad used to go I gave a little pop in his shorts And I go Oh I love pee I'm seven

Oh Peewee Listen to I had their booing from the stands Peewee How do you? By the way, I went to the dermo yesterday for the purely skin check.

He's the guy, I know. Hey, dermo. Bro, bro. Dude, dude, seriously, bro. Age-related. No, wasn't age-related. It was just sort of more casual. I'm in my undies laying out there like a frog.

Frog. A frog in class getting... And the nurse ahead of time, would you like a little blanket over yourself? I don't want to play peekaboo. I don't know. Other regions? Yeah, do you want to, no, I want to lay here like a frog, you know.

He comes in and he just goes, yeah, see these? You're going to get a lot more of them. That was his whole thing. Horrified. See that? Not dangerous, but you're going to get a lot more of those. This little thing over here, see that? You're going to get a lot more of that.

Thanks, Doc. God, I wish I'd gotten a blanket. See these barnacles on your foot? They're not going away. See how your hand's going to be purple? Yeah, like Trump. Your fingers are going to be webbed. You're going to get a lot more purple.

Yeah, you know, that big toe? It's going to grow a lot bigger in your 80s. By the way, I hate to bring up Trump again because your favorite impression. Good, good, good, good. But I saw Jelly Roll he was hosting for Kim. Oh, yeah. Bit of a sequestered vacation. I don't know where he is.

Kimmel always takes a good, stretchy vacation. Bless his heart. I love that. He paces himself. That's really smart to go, nah, I want the summer off. I remember one time I hosted and I go, so I get whatever he would make tonight and they go, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no that's funny. No, that's actually hysterical. We're going to tell everyone that because it's so funny, but you'll get scale minus 10 and you'll get a box lunch. And I was like, but he still gets paid always gone. They're like, yeah. Yeah, they did the same thing to me. They said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I started miming like a motorboat. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's for the exposure, Davy? Well, they had jelly roll on and he goes,

he goes, Trump's a fat pig and so am I. So I think he got away with it. Of course, I mean, little too many politics in that show for my taste. Love Jimmy, of course. A little bit. I think it's the only clips I see. It's all political. But jelly roll coming in off the street and he gets a fat pig joke, which, listen,

Trump is, you know, it's the decision whether you play nice with the guy that plays a little dirty or you just give them back the same stuff because i think he called a reporter a pig called her a little piggy that's nicer well like bill o'reilly said in our podcast trump trump can take more punishment than any human that's ever existed as far as criticism making fun the pig the thing but i think jelly roll who is right up there with kind of the sweetest person i've ever met you know he's one of those like and now he's really feeling good he's lost all that weight, so it must be kind of fun to go, that guy's a fat pig. He said I am now, but he's not.

He used to be a fat pig like Trump. Oh, used to. Yeah. So good for him. He's skinny now, isn't he? Well, I'm going to ask you a question right now because, yeah, he's looking really good and healthy. He's lost a lot of weight.

Thank God for GLP's. What should his moniker be now? If he's not jelly row, could he be? Unsweet the jelly roll? How about, ladies and gentlemen, split pea? How about real fruit? Root roll. Hey, ladies and gentlemen, a 50-50 bar.

It doesn't even make sense. Tiny touch rolls. Jelly jog, because he doesn't roll. He jogs now. He jogs now? He runs? I mean, if that's a healthy guy, maybe. But jelly jog is kind of catchy.

Or it should just be a T-shirt. His new name should be, yeah, what are you going to do about it? Oh, boy. It just says his weight like one. 195 and then underneath it says, yeah, what are you going to do about it? I lost 120 pounds. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? You got a problem with that?

Yeah, what are you going to do about? What are you going to do? I want if Trump's feelings were hurt. That was Mike Tyson, ladies and gentlemen. No, I'm saying if I was Mike Tyson, I would say that to everybody. If I was a fighter, I would always want to start. I always get people fucking around and they always know no one's going to say anything. Plus, when you get in fights, you're like, I have a job. You can't just always get an altercation. You're going to lose your job.

You get fired. You can't go to work. The people that start this shit out there in the world, nothing to lose. So they're an advantage. Like what's the example? Like someone's walking to the street, talking shit, start pushing people. Oh, yeah. And they pull out.

You know, you go, am I going to fight this? Am I going to get involved? And then I lose my job or I look like a bad guy somehow. And these people are like, hey, I probably won't go to jail. So I don't give a fat fuck. There was, my brother was working with in this company. And he's a fully a grown man at this point, 35 or 40. And some kind of little pithy exchange.

And the guy said to him in the factory, he goes, yeah, I'm going to fight you after work. We're going to have a fight. And my brother said, no or not. And he said, why? And my brother said, because we're not in fifth grade anymore. Yeah. I have a job. Fighting is for little kids.

It's a last resort. I get in less than 10 fights a week now. Well, you could give anybody with your comedian brain a tongue lashing if you needed to. You could deconstruct them. Sometimes I feel like, you know, if I'm at sort of a party or something and someone's holding court or whatever, I always wish, like, you or Spade or Neeland, or my comedian friends were there because we would instantly look at, at it differently because we're trains. We're like fighters, verbal fighters, you know. You know, I say to people, but I say it wrong. I go, dude, watch your mouth. I'll give you

a tongue bath. And they go, what? And I go, what did I say? I go, oh, tongue lash, tongue lashing. Okay. And they go, I'll take the tongue bath. I'm going to use that one, bro. I'll take the tongue bathing. Hey, seriously, dude, I'm going to use that one, bro. Sometimes you just crave the classic comforting flavors when life was a little simpler. I know I do. Absolutely. Like a big hot plate of French toast on a Sunday morning, maybe some early morning cartoons, nothing like it. Now you can get that exact nostalgic flavor packed with massive full body benefits.

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Bro, just so you know your boy Theo you brought up Bus Boy's number one on, what is it, Hulu? Can't believe it this week. Oh, that's awesome. So it's the little engine that could. So it didn't, like, come out like Spider-Man, but now it's finding, well, I'm saying, I, I, it's a good comparison. Good comp. Like, Spider-Man, I says, I says, I says.

I says. I says. I says. But then the little engine it could, it just starts to find its audience. Because I don't know if this is a hard take, but there's a lot of content out there. Sure. So when we said, we'll sell it to Hulu, we're like, oh, great. great, then people are going to see it when they want or whatever.

You forget that they have their rankings. And then we look, someone sent me and they go, hey, I'm watching Hulu, you guys are number four. I'm like, oh, this is the first day. I go, oh, great. And then I went to two, and then I went to one, and then it's been about a week. Where is the Dana Carvey show Too Funny to Fail Documentary currently?

Is that what it's called? Yeah, Too Funny to Fail. It wasn't my idea. Everyone loves that documentary. I don't know, but if it's not new, I mean, we have the beauty of being, the gift of being new. So, because Kevin James' movies on there, Solo Mio. I think Schneider's got a new one that's who picked up.

Solo Mio. Did Schneider do one like you, like a low-budget film that he kind of produced? I think it's in Spanish, to be honest. Oh, really? Right, yeah. Oh. I saw a clip of it. Hey.

He learned Spanish. Don'te estar. Don'te. Maze. Yeah. Kevin James is very funny. on the movie so far. He's got a very quick thing about him.

Kevin James is funny. All the, all the guys on the film are funny and the women. Those are scary. We get those scene yesterday. We had a five person scene, the five guys and we're like an SNL sketch nowadays. It sort of goes around and everyone gets a laugh. Well,

everyone jumps in, then we do another take, then we kind of got it, then we do another take, and they have so much coverage that everyone just starts making up shit. It's getting crazier and weirder. and you always wonder where it's going to be up to add them ultimately but where you know where that line is like do we just do the way it was written or do we add a few jokes or do we

do the one we had 35 extra jokes for the scene's 19 minutes now you know what I mean we got yeah it's got a takes a good eye you know fine touch to get it right well you get to test it out but it is the the most fun in a film when you're in that stage of showing it to people is just, as we've talked about, the off-kilter, weird throwaway in that day with all you guys yesterday, that gets the giant laugh. That's the cool thing of comedy is you can't ever master it. There's always some surprise. It's so true.

What will the masses think are funny? We think this is funny. You think it's funny. And then you go, that one, Tommy Boy is full of those where something that was so obviously like, that's our big scene. And then you start showing it to people and they go, they always laugh at this other thing. And you just somehow have a blind spot and you don't see that coming. I know.

There was a thing when I was doing Masters guys, kids movie have to have a fart joke. So Brent Spiner played Data and Star Trek NextGen. He was the bad guy. So whenever the bad guy was really, really happy, like going, ha ha ha, there'd be a fart noise. And then some people said we should cut right away. Like, ha, ha, ha, ha, and then cut. So I said, okay, try it. So we tried it.

And then they came up to it. Nope, it has to be. And that silence and stillness is what got the laugh. The weirdness of the guy realizing he farted and doesn't know what to do. Boy, he's having the greatest time. My plot is working. I'll destroy the world. Ha ha ha ha ha.

That's so funny, actually. So it had to pause. But the silence was where it was. And anyway, did you change the guy's name to Master Data because he was in a kid's mind? That's my Patrick Stewart impression from Star Trek Next Generation, one of the great actors. Did you watch all those? Pretty much. I think it's the best of the Star Trek's. There's so many spinoffs, Deep Space Nine and all these different things. but Star Trek Next Generation with Patrick Stewart and Brent Spiner and so many other great just goes to another level.

And Patrick Stewart, because when you're on a set, there's no ambient spaceship noise. He just plays with so much bravitas. That's the spaceship. Data. No, it's like just. It would be a bad one if it was like the spaceship was like, It's ruining taste. Data, put it on screen, data.

Right, I'll put it on screen. It's East Scottish. That's why I said, a bit of shot, Contra. Hmm. So, I speak him noise, Dana, before you get into an actual. No, I love it. This story is bad. Bad.

I did the weekend. I saw Chris. We had dinner one night, ran out and did a set. David Spade. You both went out. Who followed who? Who followed who? No, he goes, I just want to.

come. And I was like, ah, it actually is a little more stressful because you have an actual great comedian watching. And then I'm trying to change my set list. I was going to try something. I'm like, uh, anyway, we do that. He's very nice about it. And then we go. But it, it was a little, I could have sharpen the edges. It was a little rough on the edges. Well, I mean, in a perfect world, you're just there trying out stuff kind of and having fun and goofing around rather than lock. rocking in, you know, because Chris Rock knows the whole thing. He knows game, yeah. Yeah.

By the way, I followed a crowdwork guy that was, oh, crowdwork guy is, he's good too. And I'm like, he had some material. Then he goes in the crowd. I'm like, it's always weird to go, I'm going to bring it to a screeching hall with my not loud voice. But it's a good lesson. Get up there.

You got to do good no matter what. So get up there. Tough shit. It's hard to follow crowd work. Hard to follow crowdwork. if it's working. The big headline is my air conditioner now. A lot of people are asking.

Oh, boy. A lot of people are inquiring after Mustard Gate, where could this go? Mustard Gate blew up. It really did. Just went nuts. Now what? Now we got Airgate. Well, what happened?

As most people know, when I go to sleep, I turn off the ACA. I don't blowing in my face. and in the middle of my haunted room, I didn't say that. But, oh, I should send that Batman picture in. Heather, let's send the Batman picture. I think it's time. Wow, now I'm intrigued. I don't know.

I don't want to see my room. Blot thickening. Batman picture air conditioning in your face. I saw Batman in the middle of the night. Now, the first thing I saw was my closet door open all the way with a light on. That was, thank God in the day. it was closed closed for a couple days. Okay, so you don't have a bright light in your eyes.

And it doesn't do that. It clicks. So if someone has to pull it and hold it open all the way open, because when it gets halfway, it slams shut. Right. So somehow it's open with the light, which would have woken me up into the moonlight. I would have far reeked out.

Yes. So I close it and put shit against it, like don't accidentally open. Yeah, yeah, I do all this stuff. And then that's scary. I thought of your story. And I'm like, I don't be scared in the middle of the night. You don't want to be.

get a poltergeist leaning on your chest at 3 a.m. I'm going to look away and let you walk out peacefully, poltergeist. Then the other night, my air conditioner goes on the middle of the middle. That one's not bad, but that's so bright. What do you think?

I mean, it's so lit. It doesn't look like it's nighttime. The Batman won day and night, you're going to crack up. Well, what's this about, okay, you're in the bedroom. So the second one was, I turned my AC off,

at night. Right. After three weeks, the other night, 3 am. It comes back on. Comes on. By itself. It's a 100% off. Yes.

Blowing in my face. I don't like it. It's too strong. I'm trying to put a pillow up in my head. I'm like, why did it come on? That scared me. And then we asked the front desk. It shouldn't.

I know it shouldn't. Why did it? Who's at the front desk? get 3 a.m. Fucking Speedy Gonzalez and Slow Polk Rodriguez. I don't know. No, E.R. Hmm.

Maybe my doctor's nurse. Oh, your air conditioning went on in the middle of the night. I'm going to have to call the doctor. Right. I would rather you call like an Ella, someone that could understand the air conditioner. You're like an age-fat guy. So going back to.

Oh, that's just a great response to anything. I love that. Yeah, did you pay your taxes? Oh, I'm going to have to call the IRS. Everything's a scary anxiety riddled big deal. Yes. Do you guys do parking here? Oh.

And the eyes should be big. I'm going to have to ask the doctor because we usually don't pay the park. So anyway. So what happened? We don't know. And so last night I got home so tired and I said, it did it again the end of the night. And they go, oh, yeah, it's kind of automatic.

Oh, maybe you had it on auto and not off. But for three weeks and it's boiling all the time, it didn't do it once. Anyway, so the guy goes, I fixed it. I put it on auto at 74. I'm like, you decided a number? But auto means it's going to go on and off once it reaches. Thank you.

I don't want that. I think I know what happened. You go, I'm going to write it down. Quick impression of Heather at the hotel 3 a.m. Exactly. She comes in with a Phillips. Air conditioning. Oh, it turns it on.

He turns it on. runs out. No, she has an app that can turn it on from anywhere. From her evil room. It's called a ghost app and then it just scares me.

Here's Heather. Yeah, exactly. She's just like, this will scare the shit of this guy. Anyway, I call the guy or Heather talks, anyway, we decide

because I have like eight minutes when I get home before I'm going to bed. We did a good 15-hour chunk. So he just comes up and goes, I can just open it up and just turn it off. forget it won't come on i go let's start with that just get me through the night so he did that

took him one second then this morning i'm like now what then it goes on again no if it did then i would have ran out but the bad man it's not it's boiling okay no it doesn't get that boiling it is about 80 at night or 75 but you know it kind of cools down night enough to where i can sleep barely but it's not i don't love it, but it cannot blow my face. So until I can tweak it or move it. No, I don't want any air in my face. Do you get in the face? I mean, I'm all for air conditioning.

I just cannot take it. I move around on the bed or sleep at the very bottom. I don't want cold air, but I like it cooler. Yeah, I like it. I don't want it. Yeah. I'd rather be gunned to my head, a little hot than a little cold. Okay.

What about you? Go ahead. Let's go to the phones. I'd rather be, I want. my room to be cold and quiet. I can't have both. I'm just all about sleep. I mean, for you, it's such a time to lie down somewhere and have your brain go crazy.

I like to actual get sleep. I know. You're sitting there sweating. Think about your scene. I'm like, it's, eh. Yeah. So what about the Batman ghost? Is this real or is it?

I don't know, Heather. Did you send any in? I think they sent him. So just pictures of Millnight. Now I took a picture so it looks lighter than it is. But seeing this shadow, if you have it, throw it up, this is probably the time. You don't have it. We'll wait.

Oh, you saw a shadow. Yeah, a shadow that looked like Batman. The silhouette of Batman. Everyone is really like, this better be fucking good. It's not that good, but it's something. No, that's fascinating. It's a really good. Bro, I'm kidding.

Oh, where is it? What? I told you, that's good. Well, where, what is that? That's, what's the blue thing? A coat, but why is it pointing up? See, that one's, the farther ones better out there. Do you say any of the farther ones?

But what is that? Your sports coat and then there's a room. There's the blanket that I rolled up and smashed it to the closet that would pop open from a ghost. Okay. So that's on the ground. There's a couch right there. Yeah. There's shit laying on the couch.

And I see that. So basically... What is it? It's just things that are under the white things. And they came out in the shape of Batman. Here comes a new one. Okay. And it will be...

I'm Batman. It'll be really where I saw it, which was farther away and a little darker. Wouldn't that make you weird out? Like, why does that look exactly? Well, did you walk toward it or did you just stay away from it? I'm not the fucking riddler, dude. I'm scared of Batman.

I would have walked toward it and deconstructed it. I would have been like this. Capow. Pow! Wham! What are you going to do about Batman? Yeah, I would have said Batman. I'm for Batman, so that part didn't scare me.

Yeah. But I don't want. Yeah. I know some of the Batman. Batman. wants to protect you is the point. I don't really know Affleck, but I know Michael Keaton,

out of all the bat, men. Does people say the, do they say the, I'm the Batman? Well, they change the new Batman to the Batman, which you're like, it's a little pretensions.

I'm the Batman, and used to be I'm Batman. I'm Batman. All right, we're going to go to some stories, unless you have another story. Let's go some stories. And then we'll come back,

and the other picture goes through. My wife cleaned out, my closet because I hadn't I hadn't been in there for years and she said I was like well here's the new one sorry oh oh no great okay I see oh from far away let me see far away let's get this see so I just walk and I took a flashing back there well at least it's kind of a mini Batman we'll blur out the mess yeah less scary I that looks like my closet it was my closet is my floor okay that's it all right so you got a what do you say about oh I got it all cleaned out and then my wife said i'm i'm like in the the character of russell crow in a beautiful

mind what did you have cleaned out start over my closet just that it's huge and is it filthy well it's messy like i i don't organize things sometimes i buy t-shirts and i'm overflowed with socks and t-shirts and then there's pants i haven't worn in a decade and 10 shoes i never wear stuff like that. So it was sort of like a summer clean. Okay. Heather has a question from the audience. Okay.

Has Paula taken the main room closet? Yeah. Yeah, which is. Yes, we have separate closets because she's got all girls stuff. You have four gap shirts and some dolphin shorts. Yeah, this is the gap. Can we have? I'm a utility.

But you don't wear really fancy clothes. No, we have to, we should tune into Robbie Hoffman when she's on the show next week because she rips me apart for my shoe game. Right. And she came in with a hooded sweatshirt over. It's August in L.A. I was like, yeah, that's fun. And her baseball cap.

Not really richy rich. I'm like, just a fucking Luigi or the Unabom. Listen, Yon-K, everything you own owns you back, all right? Relax, Trayvon. So anyway. we'll get to some stories let's see let's do some stories see what happens okay oh yeah this is the big story oh boy yeah this thing what a mess the w nba latest mess without getting in it will let other people get in trouble in his character who used to play right in the in the NBA NBA yeah

he's like six eight six nine two sixty five yeah yeah he's jumping into this NBA biological male, what is a woman story, that Sophie Cunningham's in trouble. So he comes in and actually the WMBA player said the joke, which I thought was the other way around, but he goes in the audience wearing a shirt that says

definition of a woman, which you know is going to start shit. The WNB has such a big PR problem. They don't know what to do because it's like everyone who gets asked about has to take a side and once they do, one side attacks. I'm like everything in this country right now.

So he, he's in the audience. He's in the audience. And then he loves Sophie Cunningham, right? Because he's on her side in this situation. This player yells, Sophie's not going to sleep with you. Which is pretty funny to yell out. That's funny.

And they had to hold her back to say that. I mean, it was kind of sters. Yeah. And then she says, F you, F you. walks out toward the stand he just stands up was she gonna fight him I don't know she ran over to him

and they pulled her back after Natasha Cloud got that bucket she wanted what was there we have talked about that one's so delicate and the guy is just out there and they kick him out

that is Enis Cantor in the building today and he has voiced how he oh they are playing the fever. I guess that makes sense. Voicing her opinion as well. What is the controversy?

The controversy is Sophie, I think, started it who's on the fever saying she doesn't want biological men, trans in... Trans women. In any sports.

Yeah. With women. And that set off a firestorm of people saying you hate trans people. and she said, no, I don't. I'm just saying, I want to protect girls. And then these people saying, you're welcome, we welcome trans people.

So it turns into such a like, just a finesse debate, minutia, layered. It's so complicated. And if you inch toward one argument, you're over there. You know what I mean? Right. That's how it works. Same thing with Republican Democrats. Everything.

Everything. Everything is. So someone's going to. get mad or anything and then they just keep asking coaches about it and just they just step in shit everyone kind of obfuscating well because uh it says women you know i looked at the wmba uh charter and it's a women's league so i guess some people wanted to say biological women league right or um the only i in all this debate i just don't know why they don't do a trans women basketball league It's a possible outcome.

So they're not eliminated or they can't play or they can have a league. And so, you know, I don't know. I go by Caitlin Jenner. She says there's an advantage to about age 40 or 42 being bored of man, even if you do all the chance. A strength advantage? An athletic advantage. That's what she says. And she's doing it.

Right. It's really, I mean, it's sort of good to hear from someone who is trans because they have the best. Yeah. But it's really up to, I think the women, the players in the WMBA should be able to vote and decide, I guess, whatever they're going. Yeah, I mean, that's probably the way to do it. Like, just say, well. Let them, let them vote. How should we do it? Now, a trans man in the NBA. What about, is there any of that going on? I don't think so. but I also don't know if there's any trends in the WMBA. I think she was saying it offhandedly about something else and it crept into, well, what about this league? And that turned into a whole mess.

So I don't know. The big story is like, just how are they handling it back to basketball? That's what they're probably really worried about. When that guy, Enis is doing all this, you know. Oh, for people that don't know, he's the one that said, oh, because now I want to play in the WMBA. Yeah.

I'm going to. And I identify as a woman sometimes, is what he said. Yeah. So they said, well, now you're making fun of it. And that's where it turns into a whole, now it's branching out. Yes. So whatever. But that's a big story in the WMBA.

And Caitlin Clark is on Sophie Cunningham team, if you don't know that. And she's a big story in the sports world. And everyone has to take a position. Right. And Sophie is so much attention off this, you know, half good, half bad. So in the comedy world, I mean, besides you, I mean, you're the main trans man in. And I have no problem with it. I don't have any problem with trans men or trans women doing comedy.

Right. Zero. The good news is we're sort of out of this debate, but it's interesting to watch it play out and see how the how is it be handle it. It's very delicate, sensitive issue. We can agree on that. Yes. There you go. All right. Next story. I mean, this, so far we got that story, we got the Batman story. They're both important. Okay, what is this? Watch just see if I can read this. Apple's new clinger. Can you read that Heather? There's no way you can read. Apple's new clinger ad is wild. hey, nothing to see here.

You, I'm just a God-loving conspiracy nut. Oh, okay. Let's see what this is. Can't wait. It's almost like they're showing you without showing you. Unless you have eyes to see and ears to hear, most people would just be like, oh, it's just a commercial. If you didn't know, Apple, same device that I'm on right now,

just released a new commercial. and this was part of their new commercial. Now, of course, this just flashes by within a matter of two to three seconds. So most people just see this like, oh, yeah, okay. So they're watching her on her phone, which we know that they are. But if you look even closer, why are there demons in the background? I don't have something fun in the background. Exactly.

Well, no, this is not. you. Is it? I don't know. It says it's a commercial. We'll see if anything we talk about is real. Don't worry. I know.

Nothing to see here. I think it's. You know, it's not the fact that Satan and demons rule the earth. I don't like when they get into this stuff. They should never talk about. And they have to show you what they are doing. It's so weird.

They have statues that have like babies and children. You're like in cities that you go, why would you have these? Why would you have these in a city? It doesn't make any sense. Have a fun statue. Have a artistic, but they say it's art, but you go, don't keep going back to this dark shit. It's too dark. We're looking at Ghostbusters with Bill Murray and all the demons.

Exactly. See what happened there? Cautionary tale. Did not go well. Those fuckers come alive. Yeah, you want to be covered in slime? Not me. Not on my watch.

Not on my watch. Yours either? Okay, good. Not with Dan Aykroyd to my left. All right, sir. Fair enough, sir. That's when he's doing Tom Snyder. All right, next story.

Next story that could be true or not, we'll see. You can't tell anymore. Oh, this one is for your city of San Francisco. I did see this. He's worth $500 million and he's... I like that he got a hooker at a trailer park in Ohio. Right, he's worth $500 million. in a proposition online a hooker and a trailer park in Ohio.

So he went over there or what happened? I guess so. But the cops were waiting. I guess they were listening in or something. Oh, my God. They bust them right there. He puts on the orange jumpsuit. Awkward.

Well, you know, the question here's was he, would he do it again? What is, do you think he gets a mulligan? Well, what else could he have done? I mean, most of these billionaires, they would go to Vegas and get a discreet $1,000 an hour escort. Yeah. That is legal. The evening. Well, I guess he's probably saying I don't want a lot of witnesses.

You call it a concierge. There was a rumor that at one of the big hotels, I once. which one, that a rich, rich guy stayed there and they said, here's a book and they would give you those all polarites of all the girls, which would probably Instagrams now, which of these 15 would you want? Here's how much they are. We will have one in your room. I kind of believe that because, but you don't even want that guy knowing. So you wouldn't want, you know what I mean? So this guy probably says, I'll just run down to the local rub and tug and just see what's going on. Well, maybe he, without knowing in it, he may have a fetish for just having sex in a trailer park.

Yeah. I've always wanted to do it in a trailer park. And, you know, my wife didn't want to. So I just, it's the only way to kind of satisfy, scratch that it. I remember you suggested your honeymoon should be in a trailer park. She said no. Yeah, I remember when you said your life, you really wanted to make love on the Pirates Caribbean ride. Right.

if it was on a really slow day in the back seat. That's my scratch itch. Ho, ho, ho. I think this guy has gotten a little bit of, if not hot water, warm water about this. Also, just more of a sheepishly like, she's all right. I know.

It's more like kind of embarrassing. I think it'll go away. He'll just go, yeah, I just went crazy for a little bit. Is he married or not? That's always the one. I don't think he's married currently. Oh, leave him a lot. So.

I wonder if 150 includes tip. Let's dig on this story a little bit, Dana. Or is there a T-set or the little croissants up front or what, what do you get for all that? What do you get? For 150 bucks, what do you get? You get pajamas to wear before and after? I don't think so. That's like the chicken ranch and Vegas.

There's something in Vancouver, they say, that's like a little more. Classy. Oh, yeah. There's a famous, there's famous sort of Bordellos in Nevada. Bordello's Mustang Ranch, that's it. Oh, yeah, they really like, not that I've ever been there. Make a more elegant name like Bordello, I think, sounds better than, um, jerk and squirt. Yes.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Not safe for work, not safe. We've crossed the Rubicon. on. We just had to make one sound more the opposite. Dude, bro. Bro.

Bro. Come on, bro. All right, let's do another. Seriously, bro. We'll do one more. We'll do another one. We can't end on that. These are hot takes, man.

Yeah, these are some real hot things. A lot of sexual. Oh, I don't like when they do this. Medical school says expecting people to be on time is white supremacy culture. I do hate that white supremacy is like the new buzz where you could throw at anything. It's racism. It's white supremacy. It's like we all know white people are horrible.

We all, we got it. Yeah, we're horrible and we're white. So we get it. We get it. Quit grinding it in. Like, can we not throw in beyond time? I mean, being on time, really? The definition is you're five minutes late.

That's what he says. I've always heard that. If you're going to a meeting, don't just be on time. Be a little early. So I don't know what this means. it's just another way to say, don't worry, just hate white people. Well, it's also, haven't other

ethnicities wanted to be on, whatever that word is. Yeah, some of them. Wanted to be on time. Was it always just a white guy going, come on everybody. Yeah, we can't claim that one. From France even,

want to be on time. I think everyone claims that one. Everyone says, hey, if we're going to do something, let's all gather around the same time. Yes. So I'm not taking a hit on that one. All right, one more, and let's get on it.

Let's get on with it. That story made me go, Maherrubbles Brown. Let me see if this would be a good one or not. Okay. During a Senate hearing on algorithmic consumer exploitation. Now, let's skip this. We've got too many politics ones.

Is there any more? We'll save that for next week. Do we have a light one? Yeah, is there a fun one? There's one about a puppy or a flower. Lodi, California. Okay. The Grape Festival.

Oh, the Gravitron. This used to be called a roundup at my carnival. Oh, yeah. All together, why three loose bolts? Oh, yeah. I would shit a brick, of course. Yeah, I got very sick. Look at their sideways.

Okay. This is different because you got stuff to hang on to. I was just stuck against a wall. The worst is there's a guy saying. I would kill that guy. Killed that guy? What? Well, I wouldn't waste my breath singing and laughing.

I'd say, call 9-1. It wasn't stopping. Yeah, I was out of control. See, now Heather gets it. It's a story now, Heather. Oh, that was like the third hour and they're upside down screaming. Yeah, I mean, I can't do it.

I can't. I saw that last week. I saw two stories on the, an article's going, word on the grown-of said, fade and rock are tired of standing. Oh, because you talked about it on our podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I heard that and that I heard something else that we talked about. Oh, where I said, oh, I said, there's stories when I was on S&L and I said, frick, what was the story? Oh, I said I was jealous. But really the story was when I was talking

this about it was, there's something natural about being envious, whatever the right word is, about someone you're with doing really good and you go, I have to get better. That was the point of the story, is you can't be lackadaisical and gold break it. When you see other people working going, I have to work that harder harder,

I got to get in the mix. I cannot, this is my big opportunity. That was the story. And that's kind of what they said. But I'm just saying people here you go, oh, he's jealous like, well, that's not the whole story.

Definitely. because I looked it up. I look up things on. What is it definition? Jealous is a little more negative than envy. Oh, is that what it is? Okay. Yeah, it's a little more.

Well, I'm envious. Whatever it is. Yeah, envious can be kind of light. Well, I like everybody. Look at my new Corvette. Oh, I'm so envious. That's awesome. You know, it's not, but jealous sounds a little.

Like Lovitz? Jealous. Jealous? Jealous. Pallas intrigued that you may be actionable on your jealousy. you may sabotage this person. Well, then I took the wrong word because I still like everybody in this. No, they're both interchangeable.

Look, I taught English for a while. Listen, as Steve Martin said, some people have way with words and other people, you know, not have way, I guess. What else did Steve Martin say? That's one of his great joke. Oh, he goes, I remember the great Maharaja told me something. I lived with them in India for three long years. He told me something every day I'll never forget. Every day he drilled this into my brain.

He said, always, no wait, no wait, no wait, no, always carry a letter bag in your car. If it ever gets full, you can just throw it out the window. All right, good night, everyone. That was this closer. First, he can't remember what he said after he said he told him every day. Very Steve. And then he says something super stupid. Love Steve Martin, always have.

Okay, Dana. I have to go. I know you're going to sit here for a while. I have to go too. So, you know, we've made another show. Another 10 out of 10 banger. Yes, this is what's going to drive us into 2027. Oh, I go to Vegas this weekend.

Oh, okay. Come on. Let's get it out there. Come on now. Nicky Glazer. When is the date? Haven't you been in Vegas? Cesar's Pell, September.

It's sixth, I think. Oh, okay. five and six Friday Saturday two of the all-time greats two of the all-time heavy hitters of the world

tickets are going fast extreme pressure on the ticket low ticket warning but you know this is why I keep driving in on any minute off is to go to a set

because I take it seriously I love seizures I love that gig and I don't want to go in there you know when you're not practicing every day you got to keep it up I do it sometimes

It's really hard. There's nothing like getting on stage. I want to go in there. So I have a couple new things I've been working on. Yeah. A couple other things. You have two new little things. It makes all the other things lift up for some reason.

Yeah. Okay. Thanks everybody. Thanks everybody. And we'll see you soon. See you everywhere. All right, listen, if you're enjoying the fly on the wall, of course, hopefully you are. Click follow.

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Subscribe, Dana. What do you think? I'm going to tell you this right now. Hear me now. Believe me later. Fly on the wall, believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey. And executive produced by Hold for it, Dana Carvey and David Spade. Or David Spade and Dana Carvey.

We don't write those stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman, and Leah Reese Dennis. The show is edited by Evan Cox, with production support from Phil Sweet Tech. Talent Production and Booking by Sophia Lippor.