Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Jerry Seinfeld

Episode Date: May 8, 2024

Comedy deep dive with Jerry Seinfeld. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Bet MGM operates pursuant to any operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Dana, we got a great, fun comedian on that we both like. We've both known forever We both know him forever. Jerry Seinfeld. The Jerry Seinfeld who also did, what was his half hour show in the 90s called?

It's called Skidoo or something. Yeah. Feldman. I know it if I hear it. Feldman. So anyway, he may be, well, he wouldn't like this, but he may be kind of an icon at this point, but it was very interesting to talk to him. That's safe to say. I mean, people throw legend around or, oh my God, you're great. He is one of the best comics to do it. And he's

definitely has a show that is arguably the best sitcom, or at least way, way, way up there. Yeah. Yeah. And we can look now 25 years later, how it's just ubiquitous. It's aired all over the world. And then Jerry is such, um, he, at his core, he's a standup and he's, he's a scientist about it and loves to talk about it. So that was very interesting. It was a really fun, interesting interview. It went by very fast.

He has a lot to say and his new movie, Unfrosted. And so we talked all about that, the idea of writing and directing a movie, you know? Yeah. And all the cameos and there's so many comics and funny people that are in that movie. And it's got a great nostalgic feel to it. It was a lot of fun. That one, just sitting with him. I don't see him that much. I see him about once a year somewhere feel to it. It was a lot of fun. That one, just sitting with him. I don't see him that much.

I see him about once a year somewhere in an event. Never get much time. Everyone's around. So just to sit and we cracked up. Yeah. Oh yeah. We all did it in my house. And we cracked up.

It's good to just have hard laughs when comedians are on. Yeah. Yeah. Jerry loves comedians and loves talking about comedy. So I think you might enjoy this. I hope so, we did. Ah, here he is. Here he is, Jerry Seinfeld.

["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"] Men and women, do you have any chunk on that? Yeah, I do. Well, in the olden days, I think Chris think Chris rocks do you end with male-female Relationships yes, the whole second half of my set is marriage and kids Hmm yeah We've are yeah, we don't have a real star time I had a piece everybody are you rolling yeah, okay? How's your energy right now?

One to 10. Seven. Good. I had the premiere of the movie last night. I saw it. Which was, you were there? No, I saw the pictures. Oh you saw the picture.

You were with your family, you were smiling so much in all the pictures. Because I'm done. I know. Almost. Almost. This is kind of embarrassing, but I saw the movie twice. Wow.

Well, you know, you're cooking dinner, you got it on the laptop. You know, I'm not saying. It's a horrible chair, by the way. Work on that. This chair's are... It's horrible. I always thought you were taller.

Why is he in the little kid's chair? It's shaped like someone just drew an L and said, pad that. Pad that. This chair's are... Yeah, chairs are now made for humans. They're actually designed to fit human beings. This is not.

This is like Burger King. They wanna get you in and out. Like something. Charlie, is that a better chair? Do you have a short torso? Cause I see him crawling. It's your chair. I'm telling you, it's a bad chair.

Is Charlie's better? Are you gonna? Oh, this one might be better. Yeah. Chevy Chase sat on that one. I bet it might be a little similar. I think it's better. Okay, good.

I think it's the same chair. You know, I only saw it frosted once, Dana. I just got these jeans. I put them on, I took the tags off this morning and they fit. They fit perfectly. Isn't that great? What store?

Levi's. Okay. Old school, yeah. I like it. What kind of jeans do you wear? You know, they just asked me that for something. Just answer the question. You know, when I was growing up.

Objection, overruled. Yeah. Your witness, Mrs. Einstein. You know, the Dignitary Men and Women, what kind of jeans do you wear? I don't really know, it's whatever wardrobe has and I just take it. He has a professional shopper. No, I don't.

Dana. I used to wear only 501 Levi's and then somewhere along the way I got lost and it just turned into brands I didn't know and they were the exact same but they cost more. The Sandler. What is that Sandler thing? I love that you would have a thing of Sandler

and do that for the area. Ba ba thoo. This is his album. Yeah, 100% fresh. And there's Norm's book over there. Oh, that's great. There's his little pep, there's Will Ferrell. That's nice.

It's all. All we have is each other. It's all we have. Comedians. Yeah, right? I was talking about how the only time I feel really calm is alone or with a comedian.

If I go to a showbiz event, I will be lying to a comedian. Yeah, and it's a very simple explanation is that we're all on the spectrum. Is that true? Oh yeah. Nobody cares about the spectrum when you take it out this far. Right.

It's not the one you think about. Yeah. What's his name? Neil Brennan has a funny, the sprinkle of Asperger's or whatever it is. Well he says psychopaths and addicts created the whole world basically. Oh right, yeah.

That was in his last special. Let me ask you a question. Has Lorne ever told you his thing about funny people? No. Because it sounds like something you would kind of agree with. He always- I agree with everything Lorne says.

Me too. So I say, I'm moving somewhere and he always would say something like, will there be funny people there? That's the first one. And then the second one he goes, because there's like only 900 of us on the planet. Specifically 900.

Sound about right. Globally. Globally, because I remember. That's a generous number. I, I. Whoa, it's high? Yeah, because you would use to say like, 50 comedians maybe in the country are any good, or 25?

That sounds high. Six? Well, the odds aren't good for us. Wait, are we in it? There's three more, Chris Rock. I'm not picking them, I'm not picking them, but. All right. Right. It's a rare breed.

You don't have to rank them. I agree, every time I'm at it anywhere and if a comedian walks in, any kind of social event, I'm very happy, because they're immediately critiquing the room and analyzing it in a funny way. So if we're a dog, are we... Jack Russell, what kind of dog are we?

I don't think we're Jack. Jack Russell's a too upbeat for... Yeah, true. What dog breed would you say? Yorkie. No, no, no. I know, I just... Our golden retriever.

Golden retriever, maybe? What a funny dog. Golden retriever too social. But it's too empathetic. But they're trying to please. Too empathetic and good in social situations. You need cynical, awkward, a little bit angry and a little bit depressed.

French bulldog? Yes, bingo! Cat? For our listeners, look that up. What dog has that? People like those dogs, they're very popular in New York. Valuable too, so it's got that in there. Cause they steal them a lot.

They got the ears stick up. I don't really get it. Do you have dogs in your? I used to, but we gave them away. Okay. Did Lano take them or? No, they were dachshunds and they were really weak. Really weak dogs.

Old? No, they, no, I mean, they had no act, you know. That's those little dachshunds. No, they, no, I mean, they had no act, you know. That's those little dog, yeah. If you're a dog, your act is tennis balls, a master coming home, a beach. That's your act. And they had no act. The only thing they can do is go to a gopher hole, stick their snout in it and be still

and look down in the gopher hole for hours. And that's not really entertaining. No, weren't even excited about dinner. They were horrible. I hated these dogs. You got some lemons. Yeah. It happens.

So tell me about, I would like to hear, we don't see each other a lot. Yes, for sure. The tables just got turned. Yeah. Ask us anything. Well I had my own talk show, I know what the hell, how to do it.

Ask us anything. I wanna know, look no one asks you this. No, no one asks us anything. I bring the ridge, I come with the ridge. I didn't think of this, but I'm looking at you guys. I wanna hear how this, what is this now in your life? This thing you thought it was just, oh, we'll just do some ex-SNL players, that'll be fun.

And then it blew up. Yeah. So. I like the sound of that one. Yeah. So. What do you think about this now? Are you glad you did this?

What is this? The only thing I wish about it that I wish it was on video because it'd be fun to see your reactions. You'd make a lot more money too. But I do like it because it's kind of old school. It's like a newspaper or a telegram. Why don't you video? We're just sitting here.

And we have cameras here. We have a second podcast we video. Yeah, we just started one so we can video and basically get out there because. Yeah, it's so easy now. Show business, boy, they really changed it up didn't they amazing? This is it now. This is all the comedian has to do She's just funny and you don't have to be is it a lot of making so much money that it's you said something the other

day that was sort of forgettable, but It was a no you said something about movies and I it sort of rang true with me that movies aren't the pinnacle pinnacle And it always was always and now it now you can make more in stand-up. There's these guys that are playing arenas and going on tour and they go, I don't even have time to do a movie because I'm making so much money. It just, and it doesn't help me enough. Let's take the money out of the equation for a second.

Let's break it down. Let's pretend we actually care about the comedy. Movies are over was how you were recording. Movies are over, which was really fun. And they asked what replaced it, and I said, That's a good line. Disorientation is what is the new pinnacle. Well.

We're all feeling somewhat disoriented. I think that you can't just talk about money because you're gonna go down a bad road in your work if you really just go, oh, I'm making more money. It's exciting in the beginning, but then you gotta. Yeah, what you have to accept is that we have to chart a different path. Yeah, I saw it, Nate Bargazzi last night,

and Ted Sarandos was there, and he's working on putting some kind of show together with Ted, he's gonna lose money. It's so funny now, right? He would lose money doing a show. But this is the thing I really hate. I've always hated about comedy is that we have to do other things.

None of us want to really. This thing we do like, this kind of work is fun. You had it on wheels, basically. I had it on wheels, I loved it, but I had to edit. You don't have to edit. Well, this is at times, now it's a long form talking with you and stuff, at times it's like behind the scenes at SNL, before you had to hone

your sketch down, the best improv and the best lines were just in the writers' room, or me and Kevin Nealon would laugh for hours doing haunts and frowns. And so now we can, and I know you loved it. I did. So now we can do this, but I would say one unexpected thing about this

is the camaraderie is now omnipresent. We're seeing all these SNL people, comedians, and we're like, when will we again be across the table for an hour? You know, it just, so you're seeing people for the first time and you feel such empathy for them and their journey and how they're feeling. So it's more emotional.

That happened to me on Comedians in Cars. And now I'm friends with Eddie Murphy, which we weren't friends before. And everybody on the show, you know, you're texting and it's so nice. You gave a long chunk of time. We talked to Chloe Fineman the other day. We both don't know her.

Neil Brennan. And then you sort of have a new thing. You go, well, they were very interesting. They know about their life more. So the thing is, I guess that we're just interesting to listen to for people? I don't know if that's true. I mean, I guess that we're just interesting to listen to for people? I don't know if that's true. I mean, I wouldn't have, I mean,

unless it's somebody I really like, why would you listen, do you listen to podcasts? No. But you have. I have. Did you ever listen to one and like it? I kind of, you know, the thing is about entertainment now, Jerry, this is something that you would observe.

People are always doing other things. When you're at a comedy club, you're at the club, you may be getting a drink, but you're watching the comedian. Everyone listening to this will be doing something else. Gardening, walking, mostly driving. They'll be distracted. 12% this. So we don't have to be that good.

Right. But we're still good enough. Howard Stern invented this, right? Yes. But we're better than him now. Yeah. Right. Howard is interesting.

Howard is a great interviewer, but comedy chops, I mean, can we speak candidly? Sure. No. Well, he got Robin. Well, he gets serious, too. And Robin is a big part of how he's fun. Yeah, they're all great, but let's face it.

Let's be honest. He's been outflanked by some very, and yourselves, I would say is absolutely, this show is comedy podcast. This is the best one on the air. That's nice, thank you. Yeah, because you guys, you play nice together, you're smooth, you're not jumping on each other,

which is annoying to listen to. We're friends, we don't compete, we really don't. Right, he cracks me up, it's fun to hear him, I like to hear him score, I like to talk to guys like you, it's not always this level, but anybody in comedy is interesting to me, and you've been raw a little damage and beat up and it's fun to hear.

So some are tougher than others. You probably, when you interview, sometimes it is worth it. That's why I had to edit it. I couldn't put that out to people with the best. You wouldn't put them through it? I couldn't do it, no. And then I got tired of doing all the editing. Right.

But I do think that people, like with a standup, if they love a standup, you or David or whatever, part of it is they're on your team, they're buying the ticket and they're there, they're already rooting for you, you're their friend, you're their guy. Jerry's smart, Jerry does this, this is my guy. So if you don't kill that night, you're still Jerry.

So they just like to listen to us. If they've seen me on SNL doing crazy stuff, now they're hearing me now. There was none of this before, four years ago, three years ago. Who knew there was a market? Who knew people wanted to get to know us? Who gets the credit for figuring, who figured it out?

Dennis Miller. He did? I made that up. No, it's not Dennis. No, Chris, you know, how- Who did the first big comedy podcast that people liked? That was funny, I mean, Mark Maron is more- Maybe Mark Maron.

Ours isn't that serious. We don't dig, we don't wanna know that much. No, we like to be very surfacey. We don't wanna put people on the spot either. Jesus Christ, make us laugh. How interesting do you think you are? You're not that interesting, okay? You're not.

Right, right. When you're funny, you're worth it. This is my line, which you know me. You know me. I know you have a lot of great lines. No, but you know that I draw that line. If you're not funny, we're not that interested in you. That's still my true North Star. Yes, yes you are.

But if I do stand up, I'm trying to really be funny. You've always been that way. Since you and I hung out. What year? 81? We've known each other? I think you might have blown through. Not in the 70s.

Maybe, maybe. Maybe late 70s. Because you were like 14 months apart in age or something, but you and Jay Leno always seemed like my dad in a way. You were so much more professional. In fact, you're the first comedian I ever saw with an act, a real act. That was at the other cafe in San Francisco at the Hay-Dashberry. Our bits were all discombobulated, all of it was running into a corner ditch. And this was late seventies and like you had all this stuff laid out. I'd never seen anything like that. He was like, but you advise me,

don't go on the comedy competition. You don't need it. This was a laugh off. Sam Fran laugh off. I did one. I did one, came in second. Who beat you? George Wallace.

Well, that makes sense. Yeah, 78. Put him in on Frosted. Yeah, I did. He has a funny line too. I love other people's anguish. Is that what he says? He's a bartender, yeah.

He says, trouble keeps me in business. I love other people's anguish. What about my remembrances of Jerry Seinfeld are the, you don't always remember your openers, no one always does, but we did San Diego Improv on Garnet. We'll never forget that. And it was fucking great.

And then I had my Honda and I had my skateboard in the trunk and I would skate around. And I think you thought that was interesting. And because I was so young, like, what was I doing there? I was from Arizona. And then my recollection, which is funny that what you remember,

I don't remember all comics, obviously that you were good, but when you were doing like 45, every comic I'd worked with wasn't that many, has the same 45 like stamped out on the road. Even if you see them five years later. And you did 45, and the next night I watched, you flipped about 20 of it, it was different.

I was like, I couldn't believe you had different stuff. And then you flipped it again the next set, maybe out of boredom, that's what I would have done now. But I was like, oh, he's flipping the order, and he's also changing different material, so you have that much material. So I was just a fan across the board of that, and you were cool to me.

And which. We had fun. Isn't it funny how, I mean, I remember that so well. I remember sitting in your apartment in San Francisco so well. You guys don't think that I have forgotten any of these things. I just think that it was, there's so many memories,

and also I was newer, maybe later you'd remember. But when I've opened or some people say, I remember, I go, oh yeah, now that you say it, I remember, something like that. It's weird, it's weird, but. When you hang out with people, if I hung out with Steve Carell, it would all be about the show we did

and I would go right back to 96. Just that it got canceled, but it wasn't Seinfeld. Put it that way. I was gonna ask you a question. Do you think that most comedians, even the good ones, are essentially lazy? First of all, so impressed that you have questions. Is this a little preparation?

This is out of respect. This is, you know what this is, Jerry? I'm so flattered. You and Jim Gaffigan are the two that I've most seen this really discipline, I don't even know if you call it a discipline, willingness to tape the act, sit with it, work on the bit.

If it's not working, like you had, I had a bit once that I could never get to work without saying fuck. Right. And it really frustrated me. That's interesting. And I tried all these different combinations. It never got quite, but I only had one fuck in my act.

Did you ever say, what is the fucking deal? I did, I had one in a Superman bit, but I'm gonna answer your other question because it's a really good one. I had one in my Superman bit, was one of my first bits about that Lois and Jimmy were these reporters and they were always tied up in an effing cave. How were they doing their job, you know?

And if I took the F out of it, nothing, no laugh. So that bothered me. I go, so it's not funny unless I say effing cave. Well, especially if comedians use it casually. I go, if you're gonna use, we'll call it the F word, make sure it's a punchline. Just don't go, oh, how the fuck are you doing? Well, you're wasting, if you might get one laugh.

Oh, it's all wasted, it's all wasted. But did you ever figure, you couldn't get it to work the same way? No, I couldn't get it to work, and I thought, well, then that's not funny. What the hell am I doing? Aren't I supposed to be good with words? Isn't that kind of part of this job?

But as we know, there are many, many people, great, great comedians, who use a lot of profanity and use it beautifully. 99% do not, but some do. So I can't say I have a problem. I don't have a problem with the word. But we're supposed to be good with language. I think that's what they're paying to see.

Back to your question, are comedians lazy? All humans are lazy, period. Right, but they're not standing on a stage getting no laughs because of the laziness. No, all humans are lazy, period. Comedy is the hardest thing to write or do in humanity. Comma. I'm singing at more.

No, I don't have any. Look, we all know writers. My friend Barry Martis says, you think you're funny or you wanna be in the business, you wanna do, write me one page of standup. One page. And you see exactly how, chops or no chops. One page of standup.

Writing standup, it's poetry that makes air burst out of your mouth. That's what it is. Let me ask you a question. What I find- Please stop announcing questions. Stop. I have a question.

Question for you. Edward Armuro was my grandfather. It's on my mom's side. Quick question is the worst. You just doubled the length. I have a stand. That's how much you know about quickness. I'm gonna ask you a question.

This one's very serious. No, go ahead. with unstoppable off-road capability, excellent on-road dynamics, 21st century connectivity, and luxury interiors, you'll be capable of great things. The 2023 Defender 130. Adventure. Share widely. Contact your Land Rover authorized dealer for details. Do you do any race jokes? A lot of comics are doing race jokes. I don't have any. I would do any joke I could think of that works,

that I like. I don't have anything on race. Race. But why would you ask that question? Because some African American comics have race jokes and it doesn't seem like a lot of white comics have race jokes. Yeah.

We'll take this out. I mean. No, the pause made it funny. I'm gonna ask you a question. Why did you pause there? Because what he said was so stupid, I didn't know how to respond. No, I have another one behind me.

Gee, I wonder why black people think about race more than white people. No, I know, I'm just saying, is it possible? I wonder if I ever. I wonder if that has something to do with their life experience in America. Well, is it possible to make fun of race if you're white? As I'm saying, is it too touchy or is it just too off limits

or is it just better left on the side? This thing, I really, really get ill when I hear, you know, as a white guy, oh, I'm white, I really hate really get ill when I hear, you know, as a white guy, you know, oh, I'm white, you know, I really hate that crap. I don't like any of that. White guy, black guy, this guy. But I do love, and you'll say, but so hacky, I absolutely love any, black people do this,

white people do this, I love that bit. Never does it work. I don't care who does it. I don't care what you got. I love that bit. It's funny. Steve Harvey, the yellow suit special, white man fishing, black man fishing. Come on. Love that.

Have you ever seen Steve Harvey's bit? It's on YouTube where he's, if baby boomers went to war. And it's so brilliant. It's like nine minutes and it's extraordinary. I need an audience. So that's what I care about, because we were talking about money or something before.

I don't care how many tickets you sell. I don't care where you're playing. I don't care what you're raking in. Let me see this stuff. If you've got great stuff, I'm really envious and impressed. I don't care what you're raking in. Let me see this stuff. If you've got great stuff, I am really envious and impressed. Yeah, right. I don't care. So what are you gonna do with this money?

How many square feet is your house? Who cares how far you walk to take a leak? I totally agree. Bits, that bits is our only currency. That's what I'm saying. Yes, and people ask, did you always think this and that? And I'll ask my wife, because I met her in 79, did I ever mention getting rich and famous?

She says, never. Right. Never. I was only trying to kill in the club, be as good as Leno. Yes. You are one of the great kill... Club though. You're kill obsessed,

which is what makes a great comedian. You are up there and I think I'm not at your level, but I have that, I have got to get these people. I have to get these people. Yeah, I know. That's what I care about more than anything. Yes, I do. And I...

It's nice to live a nice life, of course. It's nice how we live and all that, but... The best thing ever in the club, Jerry, was a woman with a napkin going like this, right, in the front row? Yeah. Because you know that you've reorientated her world. That's it. Well, turning a crowd around is a good feeling.

If you're not working, it's not working, and you're trying every trick in the book, and it starts to come around, and you're like, oh my God. Oh my God. 30 minutes in, and I've got them. Did you ever open for music in the day? And go out? No, that's too tough, I think. Is it? Did you do that?

Oh yeah, a lot. That's a tough one. It's kind of fun, right? It can be. I opened for Todd Runger, I opened for Robert Palmer, I opened for Tower of Power. Sometimes your hero will be on in a second. But first, this is me in 1978 going to college,

Dana Garneau. Boo! Doesn't that make a man out of you? Yes. It does. I did it for Kid Rock. Like a probably 7,000 seater outdoor. Outdoor to boot. Did I get them?

Let's look at a clip. When's the last time you really bombed? Yeah, do you still bomb a lot? Like in your mind, like you were off. Look, I'm not gonna tell you where or when it was, but recently it was. Winnipeg in August. It was within a couple weeks ago, and I came off and went that was shit

And I was really and I'm still I have a set tonight At the Hollywood Bowl we're doing is this gonna be great is this when is this this is in two years This no the Hollywood Bowl sounds like such a fucking fun show is it really Gaffigan And Brigadier This, no, the Hollywood Bowl sounds like such a fucking fun show. Is it you, Gaffigan, Gaffigan, and Nishan? And Bragazzi. And Sebastian. Who's following Sebastian? Here's what we're going to do. Yeah, how are you going to do it?

We're going to go out with a top hat with four number balls. Oh, I love it. I love it. So you might open. I might open. Yeah, I love it. In your mind, you may not want to answer this, who's the hardest to follow of those three? Following is a philosophical, we could do a whole thing of the whole thing.

No, I think there's an energy thing there. No, no. I would say Sebastian. Following is me versus me. Yeah. I'll follow anybody. Oh, I see what you're saying. So they're all equal.

I followed Cosby after 9-11, we did a benefit at Carnegie Hall. Right. And I followed Cosby, who I was adored as a child, sat there on the floor playing Why Is There Air over and over and over? And I followed, it was no problem. So following, that's it, we get into a technical discussion.

Did you follow Kenison in his prime? Oh, well now you're talking. I did and I bombed. Right. Five minutes. But that's loud too, loud is tough. Loud is tough, but you know, look, have you ever, remember in the old days,

we used to flip around TV and you're watching a cartoon and then you're watching porn and it's no problem. You can change, you can change lanes. The human brain is built to change lanes. No, you just need, you need a minute. If I follow Dennis Miller when he's really got them, I can follow it, but you have to deal with his energy for a couple minutes.

No, forget it. Carvey's out. His energy is none of your business. Well, it stays there for a moment. You can't, you know. Yeah, that's none of your, that's not your problem. I just go out and do something like I say, I'm playing Tucson, I go, what's up, Tucson?

And I have them. Okay, last night I did a set, right? But I'm on the bill. So they know I'm like, what's up, Tucson? And I have them. Okay, last night I did a set, right? But I'm on the bill. So they know I'm there. And that only matters because John Mulaney comes in and he does a guest set. And so he's very hard to follow anyway. And he's, I'm not saying I don't agree with you,

but he's also a guest set. So it's even better. You know what I mean? He's surprised. He goes off and you you wanna tell the MC what you would never do. Do one joke in the middle, but I didn't even say that. Didn't use that bullshit, that crutch.

I just said, bring me right the fuck up. And then I went up, and I just said, John Mulaney, great. You guys got lucky tonight, and then I go right into it. And I did good, and it's hard. So I just go right into it. You go, I gotta floor it, because you can't be the one they take the night off on. You know if there's great comics in a row like you four tonight, sometimes they go I've

laughed too hard. If their first joke doesn't work they go yeah let's get some beers. And then everyone kind of goes down for you and you go oh this is the one they took off on. They just kind of said he's not gonna be that great. In your case Jerry I saw up close it was at the comic strip, must've been early 80s. Oh my God, wow. Going into the files now.

So there was a lot of stuff going on, like people were killing or drinking, the room was completely unsettled, this poor you or Jerry Seinfeld. So you came up and I was just in the back watching, and you're doing your thing, no laugh, no laugh, no laugh, but you're not losing it. You just keep going and going and after about seven or eight minutes you started to get them and then you ended up killing and I remember I never forgot that. I go, this

guy is bombing but he's just laying out these great bits one after the other. No one cared, everyone's talking, but you wore them down. See, I gave you a compliment. Thank you, thanks, Nino, that's so nice. Well, we could talk. He calls it out too, here's a compliment. Now, corporate gigs are like that, corporate gigs, sometimes you can get them after like 20.

They start hating you, or just they don't care about you, and then they start to go, what the fuck's this guy talking about? And then they start to get some smiles, and then that's a big victory, especially at corporate gaming. Yeah, so you do corporates. We all do them.

Yeah, you sell the house. Yeah. You think I'm getting 28 bucks at the improv? I used to do like 50. They're paying real money at these clubs now. At the clubs? Yeah, these clubs, you're making hundreds of dollars. Yeah, it's up to 50, no, not 100, but it's up there.

400 seaters, two shows. Would you ever do two shows anymore? Yeah, I still do. In one night? Yeah, in one night. Wow, what is your perfect size venue? A lot of people brag like we played this and it's bigger and bigger.

But what's a good time? Is it a couple thousand where you wanna stop and say. It's not my job. The stage is my job. I don't care who's out there. If I'm not saying, do you like it? No, I don't care what I like. So if they.

I know what you fucking like. Would you prefer screens or not screens? You don't care. I don't. If it's 20,000 seats. Caring is not my job. Do you want the microphone to actually amplify? That's not your job.

Do I love arenas? No. Thank you. There we go. We cracked them down. We broke them. I don't love it. But it's not my job to think.

If you're hired, you're supposed to do good no matter what. What? Are you saying if you're hired, you're there, you do good no matter if it's one person or 100,000? The best I can with your setup. Jerry, I have a question for you. Yeah. And I'm gonna answer.

Good attitude. This guy know what you would have done. That's very political, this gesture is like. There he is, Jerry Seinfeld. Funny, good, energy. Don't you love, Dana, just quick, when they go look. The word look, it's like, what do I say? When they get asked the question, look.

And I disagree with everything you've just said. Who had the bit where they had the glasses on and they go, what do you mean my son's gay? Who was that guy? I don't remember. I don't remember. But anyway. I had a putting a cigarette out bit to end the argument. Oh, I had one of those.

But I used to do it that the people who smoke when they put, they don't, they're not annoyed by the smoke until they put it out. So anyway, that was great. Went to the pool. Don't forget your question. I want to, I'm. What about the doctorating chat?

Okay, here's the question. What Jerry Seinfeld would have done. Yeah. Maybe a thousand seater out in West Virginia. Little soft. Jay Farrell played the night before, so I assumed, so I said, sounds just like Jay. I mean, how's the sound?

I didn't do a sound check. Oh yeah, it's great, sounds great. So I go up, huge slap back. Hello, hello, hello, hello. I don't think they can fix it or they would have, so I had to do the whole set feeling like I was in a fishbowl. Oh, that's hard. That's really hard. Because you start. Well, it wasn't hard, because hard's not my business. they can fix it or they would have. So I had to do the whole set feeling like I was in a fishbowl or trying to.

Oh, that's hard. That's really hard. Because you start. No, it wasn't hard, because hard's not my business. Yeah. No, hard is your business. Hard is exactly your business. The choice is just to suck it up and do it.

That's right. Or to go, could you guys. But you start to have a mini production meeting, because you're trying to be funny, but you're like, hey guys, this guy from DeVry over here, but honestly, could you fucking fix this? And are you hearing that? And then blah, blah, and are these lights too bright? But you try to, hey guys, this guy from DeVry over here, but honestly, get your fucking fixes. And are you hearing that? And then blah, blah, and are these lights too bright?

But you try to work it in, but you can't just stop and go, okay, here's what's going on. Because if they can't fix it, now the audience is onto it going. I did a show two weeks ago, and I said 10 minutes into the set, please go to the box office and ask for a refund if you're not happy.

And $4,000 had to be returned because they cocked up the sound. They cocked up the sound. So by the way, when you had that bad set, did you think you were just, sometimes I feel like the audience is better than me. It was a B, it's a B. Yeah, I was about to say easy, easy, Dan.

It was a bad set. Sometimes the audience, you're better than the audience. Sometimes the audience is a little quiet and you're really on, and sometimes the audience is really good and I feel just a little not. I always, yeah, that's all fine. Yeah, good.

But there are those shows where you can't get that coat off. You know what I mean? You walk in someone's house, you got your coat on, and your job is to take your coat off and just be comfortable in their house. And that's a set. When you get your coat off in front of the audience, okay, I'm here with you, we're socializing, quote unquote,

and I couldn't get off of myself, you know. I have a trainer guy, Adam Wright, and he's a sports psych who works for a lot of teams, a lot of Olympians, and we discussed the negative voice a lot, which every comedian is intimately acquainted with, the war between you and the negative voice a lot, which every comedian is intimately acquainted with, the war between you and the negative voice on stage, telling you, why would you even go into this field? It's clearly not your forte.

It's not working. It's not working. Tennis is very strong. Tennis, golf, and standup, if you have to have a strategy for the negative voice so you won't be able to play. I would say like the code analogy for me is sometimes I forget to say this one thing

right before I go out, have fun. And if I forget to say that and I'm out there and why is this not feeling good? I'm not having fun. But the good sets are like you're having fun, it's a subtle distinction, but if you forget to have fun and that voice is really loud, the best is when the voice is gone. Right. It's very hard to completely... but fun is not really a good...

It's an internal clinical word. The real sports psychology word is flow. That's the state that you seek in writing or performing or socializing. Flow is really the word. It is a bit overused, but there's no better word for it. When you're on- Would you accept zone? Tone? Zone?

Yeah, zone, I'll accept zone. I'll accept zone. But flow is a little more- Flow has movement. And that's what you're always trying to find. You know, let me try and do this bit a little different. Maybe I can find fun or flow, but when you get flowing and then they get flowing

and then you don't have to work. Well, it's like you're enjoying it and they can feel it. Yeah. And it feeds, it's a feedback loop, you know. You guys are seeing the really good show. Do you ever do that? Do you ever like, it's going really well and you say, you guys are really great tonight, do you?

I can't do that. I didn't think you would. No. going really well and you say, you guys are really great tonight, do you? I can't do that. I didn't think you would. No. I didn't think you would. I tell them it's their fault when they're not laughing. Yeah. I gotta let them know. What I will say is my version of that

is I'll just take a sip of water and go, let's go to work. Okay. That's what I'll say. That's my way of saying, this is a good crowd, I'm into this. I have a theory that most comedians, especially the all timetime greats, have a little bit of a tell for the audience,

and that's a little giggle. And if you look at Pryor, Pryor had the, yes, a constant little thing. That's funny. Louis CK will do eight or nine minutes, and then once in a while, he'll just do a big laugh. Just like, and you, you'll do it and then you'll put a little laugh in everyone's mouth.

It's very subtle. But they're seeing that you're enjoying it. Yeah, I've seen that. Your eye is stunning by the way. You have an amazing eye. Thank you. That you picked those, that you know that and you tweezered those out.

That's great. That's great. Well now I'm just curious. No, I got a tweezer for you. I like to see a great comic that doesn't have one. I don't think you do tons of crowd work from when I've seen you. I do, my encore is always Q&A.

I take, so I guess that's crowd work. That's just fun, right? But you don't open with it. So you win them over without it, and then you have it at the end. But a crowd work thing that's funny is when someone goes, hey, blah, blah, blah, and then they answer.

And then if it doesn't get a laugh, he goes, two weeks ago in Cincinnati, I asked this lady the same, I go, you're re-living a joke that wasn't from this crowd? Have you seen that trick? It's a star. I saw it last night, I was like, hey, caramba. How do you feel, this is a younger person's thing that they do, I'm curious if it bothers you.

Any comedian that says when I wrote that joke, that's not really part of the show, dude. That's not really part of the show. No, we've come here. Dude. We've come here to hear, let's play the illusion that you're this funny. The magic, yeah. The rabbit will appear.

And we don't know how it got out of the hat. Don't say when I wrote this show, please. Now when you're watching standup or watching a special, do you find yourself being analytical a little bit? What are you talking about? Well, you're going, oh, he's doing that bit. Oh, he's doing, you know, just watching the standup, maybe a young standup.

It's all right, we can move on. Wow. Note to self, never bring up. That was worse than the race. Sorry about him, sorry about him. You sit down, Bruce. I was, thank God. No. You're just saying it's so obvious that you do.

I am, always, we're always, have the meter running in the cab, we're watching how, you know, when I am always, we're always, have the meter running in the cab, we're watching how, you know, when I watched Nate, when I called him. Great writer. Yeah, and I watched his second special, and I wasn't really that into him. I hadn't seen, I shouldn't say that,

I hadn't seen much of him. But the second one, his laugh per minute rate was so high. LPMs. Yeah. So you called him. So that I called him and I said that was really, and my daughter is writing comedy,

and I said this is what we call tight. This is what this defines tight. And so the meter's running, but I will totally get lost in anybody I like. But that other thing is also there. Well, once in a while, stand-up has someone come on, and it's kind of, they have their moment, you know? And so I think it was seven or eight years ago

when I just would go on through and watch Sebastian, his first kind of special, and his physicality, and his rhythm is sitting there, he's clipping his toenails over there, eating the Cinnabon. And I was just like, okay, this is a rebirth for me. This is new, familiar but new, and I knew that that was his moment.

And I'm trying to think the current, but that happens once in a while. It lasts a few years. Not often. Not often. Not often. Once a decade? Yeah.

I mean, definitely. I think Nate is having his moment. Sebastian had his a few years ago. Who was before that? Chris? Well, Louie. Chris. Louie.

Yeah, Louie. Louie had his moment. It's quite rare. It's quite rare when all the pieces come together. Nate does have a high slugging percentage of like. Oh yeah. You keep watching, you go, wow, cause a thing that I was not accustomed to, and you probably weren't more,

is when a new thing of doing tour special, tour special. And I always feel like the first one's probably the best special, and then these are the second best jokes, then the third. It just feels like, just cause how hard I work, I just joke to work, and I hate throwing them in the garbage. And you don't really have to, I guess.

Because I sort of like a little mix. I like stuff that I love and I like stuff that, like if you were on, I wouldn't mind if you pulled out They've Seen the Fork or whatever that joke is. Yes, I still do that. But I hate to tell you this, we're old and out of it. Yeah, that's just and out of it. And that's just not the way it's done.

I'm told every day. Of course. But if I went to see George Carlin, I would love if he did baseball and football. Oh yeah. I would love that. That's what I'm saying. But I think our day has passed.

I remember a comedian coming to the punch line in San Francisco, might've been Frank Orchin or something. Wow. The impression. But he was like 55. The Riddler? Right. And I was like, what is he even doing this for? Why would you still be out of the house? I was 26.

Do you remember Denny's joke? For some reason. Denny Johnston? No, Denny Miller. Oh, the Denny. Do you remember, for some reason, I wanna see Nancy Reagan in Frank Gorshin's old Riddler costume.

Do you remember that joke? I think about that joke at least once a week. Because I love that joke so much. It's, I don't know what it is. You know, he has to say Frank Gorshin's old Riddler costume. And you see the image immediately. Yeah, and you get that image. The green tights. Yeah, I mean, Dennis, I love Dennis.

Dennis, my favorite one, I don't know why this one always stuck in my brain. He's up there and goes, Jimmy crack corn and I don't care. Little big pause. What the hell attitude is that? Right? Just, you know.

I'm so glad you're laughing that hard. I love Dennis so much. Dennis is much. Dennis is brilliant. He was the one when I started, when I would go to the improv, when I was like that old, I was probably 20, 21, and the chalkboard,

and it would be guys like you and Leno and maybe Dennis and Kevin. Not so much Dana, because he was more up in San Fran when I started, but I'd see him. But I would go in there, and it was such a great comedy school, just to watch and go, fuck, is everyone this fucking good?

I mean, it's unreal. I got his big gulp one. You know what I mean? Big gulp, 32 ounces of liquid. Who needs that much liquid? I just stepped off the surface of the sun. I'm a little parched. I'm just gonna drink with a fucking undertow.

Park the jet skis. Got a life to lead, chug chug. Or the guy who didn't forgive the pope, you're lucky my chick's not here. Yeah. Yeah. So funny. Dennis got a million.

But I think in the hall of fame of our generation, I think of you and Leno and Dennis. You know, I saw Jay last night. Jimmy, we had the premiere of Unfrosted last night. Jay was there, Jimmy Brogan was there, Larry David was there. And I felt like I was getting married to myself. It was like, it's like, well, there's the life.

That was the life. That was it. The history. It was fantastic that they showed up, you know, who wants to support me, why, you know, but they're great. Jerry needs more success. Yeah, exactly. It's obnoxious.

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But a banana? That's a yes. A nice tan? Sorry, nope. But a box fan? Happily yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. You know, not to talk about the movie, but unfrosted, speaking of tight, one thing that hit me pretty quickly was how fast it was moving.

Not really like a normal movie. It was like, not only, it's got a story, so it's not just set up punchline, but it's really line, line, lap. I mean, once you see, it feels like a rhythm where it just goes, wow, you're not wasting any time. You're getting the scenes out, which takes a lot of work ahead of time.

Just tighten, tighten. But I thought Gaffigan was funny. Everyone that came in, of course, I got the whole cast list here, but Melissa McCarthy's always funny. Amy was in it. Bill Burr, of course, is a surprise. Takes you a second to find out it's him. But everywhere you turn, there's some funny people. And the movie is light. It's maybe I wouldn't say Willy Wonka-ish, but something weird. Something like that. Very light. Very fun. Very different. It's a mad, mad, mad world. It's people caring so much about something

and so maddeningly caring about the serial thing. That was the track we tried to sing on. This I think is the director. This is my first note that I thought was great. The kid in the first scene was so good. So good. So hard to get a kid that good. You're at the diner. Isaac Bay,

who I just love this kid. I saw him last night. I hadn't seen him since we shot that. I just was hoping, is Isaac gonna come to the premiere? I've got to see him again. He was just a sweet kid. He was funny. He didn't realize how funny he was. And he had some adult line, like,

I've had better days. It was something really funny. Leave the box. Yeah. And the guy at the counter says, tough day. He says, you don't wanna know. That was it. You don't wanna know.

And then a little while later, you have the little girl in the dumpster. Like she was a star. She was great. She was great. Amazing. Her voice, and then she comes back. She's got a lot of something.

She's a killer. Did you add her because those two were getting laughs? Did you add a scene for them? No. You know, that's done sometimes. Someone's doing well. We didn't. But you know, when the scenes kill, obviously there were scenes like cut,

but their scenes always worked well. Tell me her name again, the little girl. Okay, I got it right in front of me. Her name is Daly Sheets. No, Bailey was the boy. Her name is John Slattery, I think. She's kind of a cherubic face. Her name is John Ham. I like when Amy. She's kind of a cherubic face.

Her name is John Hamm. I like when Amy calls her Cabbage Patch. Amy Schumer is so great in this movie. She's funny. Well, man, you had, God, you had Gaffigan was so fucking funny in this movie. Like it was a perfect part for him. Like he looked like central casting

from a 60s sitcom or something. I mean, it was his- Born to play that role, right? The president, the son of the president of Kellogg's. Yes. Who inherited the company. And he plays it so earnestly. Buffoon.

That he's. Kyle Dunnigan doing Cronkite is, what a, that was a great runner. And he did Carson too. I saw that with the face thing, yeah. The face replacement. We had him in the, we interviewed him right here. Oh yeah, how great is he? As good as they come. As good as they come. Good as they come, yeah. The face replacement. We interviewed him right here. Oh yeah, how great is he?

He's good as they come. As good as they come. As good as they come. Brilliant. Underused, undersold, I'm glad you used him. Very humble, kind of unassuming, but man, as he nails it. Christian Slater was great to see too. He came up with the whole Cronkite,

I'll stop drinking when you stop talking. Oh yeah? That was an ad lib in a take. I said, that's this character, that's who he is. Nobody knew that Walter Cronkite had an old bitch wife and a drinking problem. It is a six. It's our generation's, it's such a touchstone.

I mean, I mean, Syria was huge in our family. Oh, sure. Silly putty, x-ray specs. Yeah, they all get a shout out. Blinky or silly putty, if you got one, which one? We'll tell you what Tom Hanks said. Wow, that's a tough call. I'd probably go with silly putty because of the egg.

I love the dual, the two color egg. It makes you think of- I think they slam it too hard then you never see it again, it's the only problem. But is that really? Well, all that stuff- Or no, that's Superball. Superball.

Superball's the one that would- Superball's a hit too. Silly put really? Or no, that's Superball. Superball is the one. Silly buddy is like you go for the newspapers. I went nuts when they came out with the Superball Mini. Do you remember the Superball Mini? Oh, the little tiny one. The little one. When they did that, I went wild and made it smaller. Yeah, and you would slam it on the sidewalk

and it would fly. I want a bigger one so I can fucking find it. Sometimes they just go and that's it. You get one out of it and then it's like down the street. So you wonder, are kids having as much fun today as we had? No, I don't think so. The stingray was in there too. You had everything.

Everything I loved. Everything. It was a little indulgent. I have to cop to- Why would it be indulgent? I just love stingrays. There's no reason for that to be in there it be indulgent? I just love stingrays. There's no reason for that to be in there.

Oh, Steve Schwinn and the stingray? Yeah. Well, we had to kill somebody because I wanted to do the full serial honors, bury out. That was the bit I wanted to do. With the milk and all, yeah. I think the rhythm that you hit with the movie was like,

if this joke wasn't your thing, just wait a second. Right. Here's another one. Well, we're comics. The rhythm of it. I'm not a thing, just wait a second. Right. Here's another one. Well, we're comics. The rhythm of it. I'm not a filmmaker, I'm a comic. I mean, Jerry said he's a filmmaker. I have a 13 year old nephew and I said, what is the equivalent of a slinky for you to kill time?

And he said, porn, online porn. Oh, okay. Is that a joke? No. That's sad. And slinkies would get all caught up. Only because you're never gonna enjoy sex. You're never gonna enjoy it.

No. And that's a shame, isn't it? I had a slinky and I don't like to see it. They ruined it, they ruined it. I know, we had a Playboy magazine at the dump. You had to work for it. You saw a little bit. Spiegel catalog.

There's hardcore porn for a first grader. I don't agree with it. Just count me as don't like porn for kids. Taking a stand. Who said this? I quit porn. Chris. Yeah.

It's so funny. You could just do the pace without the- Tells me every day. Also the fingers on his shoulder. Spade, Spade, listen to me. He had one of the greatest lines I've ever heard about how to be a professional comedian. We were talking the other day,

we did Kevin Hart's Mark Twain Prize. He was talking about, he was talking to some young comic, not gonna mention that name either, and he was telling him, he said to the kid, what do you do during the day? He says, hang out, don't do anything during the day. And he said to the kid, what do you do during the day? He says, hang out, don't do anything during the day. And he says to the kid, during the day is when you make the money.

I go, yeah, we collect it at night, but we make it during the day. So that line, he and I really love that line, that that should be the code for a cent. But I think all the young kids today, they do. They're either doing these, they're selling, or they're writing. But you make money during the day,

you collect it at night. So you go out in the world and that's how you get big. Yeah. Yeah. Look at things differently. Do you have any bit that's just in your brain right now and you haven't done it in your act? Just the thing you're working on?

That's tons. Any you wanna sell? What, you want one? I had a notion. I don't have any, maybe we can try to finish it here. We'll fix it right now. And you probably have thought of this. Question announcements.

I've got a little bit of a grip on it that I did earlier to you. Yes. No more, stop announcing, I have a question. Right. One question. Well, that's in your act now? My question, yeah, I'm working it.

I'm working it. You fell into the trap. That was a bit. So that was in your act now? Yeah, I'm working it. I'm working it. You fell into the trap. That was a bit. So that was, I kind of knew that and I was sort of, it's an assist. Yeah, that was an assist. I made that. Yeah.

So that's one, that's why I'm working on that. My thing is this, because the phone is always going in and out of the car, talking to someone, I'm taking you into the car now. I'm going for a ride, can I just have a conversation? I'm putting you in my ear. Oh, okay. That's funny. I dropped, my wife said the other day, conversation? I'm putting you in my ear. Oh, okay. That's funny.

I dropped, my wife said the other day, oh, I just dropped you in the trash. So. Oh, that's really funny. That's a concept. I love it. That's so much more you, that you can run with it. You're giving it to me?

I am. I don't want it. That's too sweet. That's too nice. It's something you could make. I have enough. Yeah, you've already done so much for me just having me on the show.

You're our biggest guest in quite a long time. That's cool. So give me, I don't want to waste the notes that you did. These are notes that I had about the movie that I liked. I missed the first hour, but I loved it. I love Bill Burr's Kennedy. We love Bill Burr's Kennedy. He sounded like Kennedy, even his regular voice pretty much.

Yeah, well, Bill Burr is Kennedy. He sounded like Kennedy, even his regular voice pretty much. Yeah, well Bill Burr is the only guy out of Boston that I've liked since Kennedy. Yeah, a long time. Those are my two, the only two guys out of Boston that I like. The peppermint twins are here. Yes, are they wearing the traditional garb? The peppermint twins are here. Yeah, so are they wearing the traditional garb? I think this meeting's over. There's a lot of, I mean, you know, him as Kennedy was so. Did you have to cut any friends out of the movie and tell them?

No. Mm-hmm. Brush over that one, okay. Um, what is your favorite scene in the movie, if you have one, or one of the. The Pop-Tart launching in the toaster, which I stole from Ron Howard's Apollo 13. I took the same track,

Spirit in the Sky, Norman Greenbaum. Very cool. Those pop tart launches, I just like the energy of that. That was like, I felt like it was filmmaking there. It felt like a big bunch of it. Inside a toaster, that whole thing like a rocket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the funeral scene, which was a scene

that a lot of people did not want to do. They said it won't work, it's not on story. And I said, yeah, but this is why you make comedy movies, to do something really silly that you think will play. Mel Brooks, the cowboys come into the Busby Berkeley. What else? That whole movie, to me, is to just get to that. And Harvey Korman sang Raisinettes at the candy counter.

You remember that? Yeah. Count Vodkula, is that one of the lines? Count Vodkula. It's hysterical. But that just, it just peppered with so many jokes that it's hard to remember all of them, but I just remember going, oh, it's still going,

it's still going, it's still funny, it's still funny, it's over. Yeah, thank you. All right, before we get John Hamm's moment with Melissa McCarthy when they're flirting, it's just a very, worked really, I thought John Hamm stood out too. With all these cameos you had, how he was so serious about advertising.

Yeah, why are they so mean? It's just advertising. It gets in your face. It was so cool about doing that and doing that with John Slaughter. Yeah, they were really amazing to do that. That was a dream that you thought, could we get them?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think they would do it? Yeah, so that. The other thing I wanted to do that I couldn't, I almost did was Chris Rock was going to be the MC of the Bowl and Spoon Awards, and we shot that right after the Will Smith slap. And I was gonna have somebody come up on the stage

and have Chris punch him out as they got there. And then Chris wasn't, he wasn't up to perform. He was still a little shook from that event. But that was what that scene was going to be. But Cedric saved the day. I love Cedric. Yeah, he was instantly hilarious in that moment. Do you think that would have been funny if Chris

as the MC of the Bowl and Spoons, somebody comes up on stage and he lays him out? I, yeah, without the Will Smith thing, I think it's funny. It just sort of, there's still kind of a residual darkness around that moment. Yeah, isn't that what we're attracted to more than anything? I don't know. Residual darkness?

I'm just saying, we were in the writers' room, I'd be sitting with you in Spike Kohn. It could be, let's think about that. Yeah. But if Chris is there, wants to do it, you get it. I don't know if it would've worked. You can always trim it. It was an idea.

Always get the shot. Yeah, yeah. So what was your first cut? How long was it? Cause the movie's like 85 minutes before credits. 84 minutes and there's not a chance in hell I was gonna go over that. I don't know how long the first cut was,

but I definitely pulled out at least 15. Wait, you had a number in your head first? Oh yeah. Wow. Woody, I do the Woody comp. Woody would go 81, 82, and everyone's happy. No one's not happy with Andy Hall is too short. We do comedy, we get in, we get out.

I think you said about stand up. Or maybe I asked you just off the record at a party or something. At a certain point, it gets to be people. Even Rock with his specials an hour and a half, I go, why don't you save a half for the next one? at a party or something, like at a certain point, it gets to be people, like even Rock was his specialist an hour and a half, I go, why don't you save a half for the next one, just do a tight hour, and he goes, nah.

I think they expected from him maybe, but I was like, I'm from the school of after an hour, it starts to get. What they expect is not our business, it is our business. Don't give them what they want, you think they know what they want? If they knew what they want, they wouldn't have to pay to get it. Let's get that on a t-shirt.

Yeah, I feel like, oh, when I'm watching someone and it goes over a certain amount, I start to lose. And that's when I start to go, God, I love comedy. I'm starting to go, fuck, how long does this go? You can ruin it so fast. And I learned that watching Jerry Lewis and Sammy Davis at the Sands. In Vegas?

In Vegas. And Jerry came out, he did 45, Sammy came out, they did another hour together, and then Sammy started singing and it was like, this is now not a good experience. I always felt that Jerry Lewis' telethon was too long. But, Dan, anything else? Sammy can go on a long time.

I've seen Kevin Pollock's about to go on The Tonight Show. He's out of his mind. I was just there visiting, so excited. Sammy's singing. So Sammy gets a thing, cause the name of love, and then he breaks it down. Break it down.

In name, in love, the king, don't you? And I just see Kevin just deflating in the green room. There's a knock, maybe next time. Oh, gang, gang. I wanna hear more stuff you liked. It makes me feel good. The stuff that I didn't like. Made me laugh.

Your first name is Trat Pop. Trat Pop, did you see it coming that we were gonna- No. It was a mirror image. Yeah. The silly putty. But I like, cause you know, I knew it's gonna change. I didn't know how you were gonna figure that out.

We didn't either. And that was a great way to figure it out. We didn't either. Does it make sense exactly? Yeah. Oh, okay. It's the exact reverse words, letters rather. So I said, if he's fucking cheating this.

No, I didn't. Cause it was a big discussion of should we show it on the silly putty spelled backwards or make it say pop tart back and forth. And that we like to do what it would really look like with the letters backwards. Funny when it's a bad name and everyone's like, yes. Yeah, like we've got it.

Sounds horrible, means nothing. Snap,'s like, whoa, it sounds horrible. It means nothing. Snap, crackle, pop, Bobby Moynihan, those three characters. Mikey Day. That wasn't Bobby Moynihan. Mikey Day. He was Jeff Bort.

I saw the movie, Mikey Day. I don't know what movie. You did a great movie recently. Do you still wanna do another? What are you talking about, Wrong Missy? Yeah, Wrong Missy was great. Wrong Missy, thank you, bud. Yeah, I wrote one with Theo Vaughn.

You know Theo, the comic? So we're trying to do that hopefully end of summer this year. Oh great, fantastic. So we wrote it together, so. Right. Even if you like one of us, just come to that one. Great.

Yeah. Who are you working with? It's about serial, it's a little bit of a bump. Netflix? No, I wrote that, we don't know yet. Oh, okay. We don't know who the lucky winner is yet. Right.

Oh, embarrassing. You got James Marsden in there too. Yeah, James Marsden. James Marsden. Did you see Jury Duty that he did? No. Oh, it's amazing. I heard about it, yeah.

Yeah, mock documentary. Yeah. And the bloopers, I always like outtakes at the end. Yeah. I do. Yeah, mock documentary. And the bloopers, I always like outtakes at the end. I do. Dancing, laughing, breaking character. It's just fun. So, movies is fun. And I do think that this will get a little zeitgeist.

You'll have a strong opinion about this. This is so trite right now. You know, with the way the world's going, we need, I know you're, I'm gonna be... Begging you. I'm begging you. You know, in these troubled times world's going, we need, I know you're, I'm gonna be. Begging you. We need. I knew ahead of time. You know, in these troubled times, Mr. Seinfeld.

I will pay money for you to stop talking. Do you have to get the cast to stay to shoot the song? Yes. At the end of the day when they're tired? Yes. How was that? Not fun. I knew it.

Anything extra on a day is like. I gave, Spike gets all the credit for that. I could not ask them, he would. He thought it would work. I never thought it would work. It does work because the song is cute and it just gets you off. You know, you need.

Yeah, the cow farting thing. When you're running through the cow fart thing. Yeah. What did you think, What were you thinking during that? That actually happened to Spike in real life as a kid. Oh, seriously? They forced him to exit a dairy barn between two cow, a line of cows. And I just found that so funny.

He was so traumatized by it as a kid. So we put it in the movie. Your character is traumatized. There's nothing else to make him feel bad. I can't get clean, you're having a nervous breakdown. I can't wash it out of my mind. That was it. Yeah.

You're clean now. What about my mind? I can't unsee it. Something like that. Student Banking. Students, get $100 when you open an RBC Advantage Banking account, which includes no monthly fee, unlimited debit transactions in Canada, Avian points on debit purchases, and so, so much more. Unlock more perks for less with RBC Vantage. Conditions apply. Offer ends June 30, 2024. New eligible clients only. Complete criteria by August 30th, 2024. Visit rbc.com slash student 100. New McCafe Cold Brew has officially dropped and it's got people feeling smooth. Smooth like.

New McCafe Cold Brew. Try it with French vanilla or caramel cream. At participating McDonald's restaurants in Canada. Do you still have this Mount Rushmore is just something someone lied about? Richard Pryor, Carlin, Cosby Rickles, is that close? Yeah. Yeah. But I do think I started the Mount Rushmore trend.

Oh, by saying the Mount Rushmore of something? Oh! Of something, I think. And my advisor, Tom Keeney, agrees that that's, I did it with Rickles, to introduce Rickles. What's your comedy standup Mount Rushmore? You don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings, but. No, no, no, but if you go back to, there's two ways for me to think of it.

Like now, looking back, but like in the 70s, they were all magic. I saw prior on Ed Sullivan doing regular stand up. Sure, of course. And they were all magic to me. Jonathan Winters. Absolutely deserves that. And you know, Carlin.

Carlin. Carlin you have to put in there. And I think that that was. Prior to Carlin Winters, you got, Carlin. You know, Carlin you have to put in there. And I think that that was- Prior to Carlin Winters, you got one more slot. Yeah, Robin. Well, then mid 70s, like Steve Martin, peak Steve Martin. Yeah, yeah.

That's pretty great group. And Robin Williams, who- Sorry, we're out of time. Yeah, we are out of time. Who I thought later- It's only so, we have so much stone. About Robin and what- Robin. Because he was very, he's only so, we have so much stone. About Robin and what. Robin.

Because he was very, he's like, oh, I think I might've taken material from you. You know, he was very, very shy about stuff. I said, I try to take your whole act. I mean, his, the art of, the thing that he presented was a Shakespearean actor is pushed out on the stage with no material. And that was the brilliant conceit.

Yes. And he's just wandering around and I don't know what I'm doing. And he picks up his parade. For those who go on, I said, this is a frisbee. And he goes, and so that was his genius. So I think those Steve Martin and Robin at that time, for me, the rhythm of Steve, excuse me.

The freedom of Steve, his freedom on stage is still stunning to watch. We'll talk about a performer expressing joy. The character, the happy idiot. So likable, yeah. But a very calculated joy. Meticulous. Meticulously calculated to be funny slash dumb. It's gotta be funny, dumb, happy.

It's very hard to do. Yes. It's a recipe. slash dumb. It's gotta be funny, dumb, happy. It's very hard to do. Yes. And it's a recipe. The acting of it, because we were talking with him and he goes, we talked about the excuse me. And he goes, oh, it's just a catchphrase.

But I go, no, no, no, I saw you do it at the boarding house. You say, can I get a blue spot? Yeah. Can I get a blue spot? And you work your way to that, excuse me, just ask for a blue spot, can't you? Just the blue spot.

And he also says, And that's the brilliant thing, excuse me. You think it's an actual screw up. When I was listening to an album and I'm sitting there riveted and he goes, can I get a blue spot for this? And then he waits and he goes, blue spot. And then he goes, red or blue, doesn't matter.

Yeah, he builds it. And then he keeps inching up and then he stops playing and he goes, you know what's funny? I come here, I get up, I write jokes. He does a whole fucking setup. And you think so, I'm like, someone actually fucked up. And it made the album, that's what I thought. I have to ask me to name your Mountain Rush one.

I think I could spend an hour and I wouldn't get it. I could not guess your comedy standup taste. But the audience and I are dying to hear it. We want to hear your- You can go, I have one more I'm gonna talk about. I don't think- You can't add any more. It's more people.

That's the game. But Jerry, it's the best guy. For me, on talk shows, the best guy ever, Rickles. Rickles. Rickles. Rickles, okay, I had to say it. Yeah, the Rickles and Rodney, interestingly, no one ever talked about this, and probably shouldn't, the two most exciting guys on The Tonight Show,

tough to do an hour for both of them. Oh, they better in snippets. Tough style for an hour. Yeah, that's why he had the band, Rickles and stuff. Yeah, yeah. But the genius of him, no joke, it was so dry as a kid, it just made me laugh. He'd be out there with Johnny and Ed,

Ed doesn't know the show's done. Ed's in the corner, give him a cookie, pack him an ice. Yeah, yeah. There's no real joke, it's just all rhythm and attitude. Oh yes, those are jokes, those are jokes. Well, they're just, it's stylistic. Give him a cookie. Yeah, yeah.

Pack him an ice. They sound like jokes. Where'd you go to college? Who cares? Yeah. Pack him in ice. They sound like jokes. Who cares? Yeah. Before you can answer. So you know what? And I just want to answer

because those guys were 100 meter sprinters. They were sprinters. Right. And then other comedians are long distance, middle distance guys. Bob Newhart. Bob Newhart, long distance runner. So.

It's hard. I couldn't even do it. Come on. You gotta give it a shot. We ran out of time. You can start with Jerry. No, no, no, no, no. It's hard, I couldn't even do it. Come on, you gotta give it a shot. You can start with Jerry if you want. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't know, I know, I'd probably, because it changes over the years,

that's why I was asking you yours, because you've seen so many since Rickles, that has anyone even put up a fight. That's a different question, but the question is to you first. Mine would be, god dang, I never even thought of it. How about just think of specials as one way to do it? I know Steve Martin for sure,

because I listen to his albums so much. Friar? Friar, we had his eight tracks. If I have to have a black guy in there. Um. You do, you do. You gotta have one. You do. Is that there you go. You do. You gotta have one. You do.

It's out of four. If you wanna keep doing the show. Yeah. That's Long Beach. That's his special in Long Beach. Long Beach. Yeah, that is. Yeah.

Is that what it was or Sunset? Well, he walks out. Well, Long Beach is where he walks out. The crowd is still coming in. They're still coming in. He's opening up for Gladys Knight. Didn't he open for someone? He's doing it.

No, it was Patti LaBelle. Yeah. Opened it. He's filming a special that he, they said he was opening for someone. And they're just walking in. They're still coming in. He's opening up for Gladys Knight. Didn't he open for someone? He's doing it. No, it was Patti LaBelle. Yeah. Opened it. He's filming a special that he, they said he was opening for someone. And they're just walking in. Is that possible? No, no, no. Patti LaBelle opened the show. That sounded crazier. Okay. But that, yeah. Yeah, crazy. So he walks out, is what you're saying, he walks out when they don't even notice me. Yeah, there's no introduction and the crowd's still coming in and talking. I love it. See, you got a shot the fuck up, or a can't sit with my gag. Sorry, it's my best Richard Price. I think that was Cosby. Yes, because would you like a little repel?

Come on, David. I mean, I'm gonna go back early like you did, because that's what's shaping. Right. I would maybe put Carlin, because I did go see him even at the Celebrity Theater in Arizona when I was 14. What about Sam?

Sam Kennison? Yeah. I saw him. What about Bernie Mac? Bernie Mac, Sam. I didn't see much of Bernie Mac. When I wanna laugh and I'm just, you know, that's who I YouTube most get.

Kennison in his prime. Get out of the desert. Yeah, Kennison. Go to where the food is. Go where the food is. Yeah, go where the food is. And I saw him at Finny Bones, you might remember. Go to where the food is. Go where the food is. Yeah, go where the food. And I saw him at Finney Bones, you might remember, Finney Bones in Arizona.

And I would be an emcee, same thing. Drove him to his condo, I had me go get him beer and do all that. And then he had a pile of Coke. And he said, you want some? And I go, no. And he goes, okay, you can stay. And he was with Robert Townsend.

And Robert Townsend said, he didn't want any part of that. So he goes, can you run me to my room? So I drove him to his hotel and thirstily came back to hang out with Kinnison, because I loved him so much. And I did want to do Coke, and I didn't want to do his, because I didn't want to look like a mooch.

One of my favorite Kinnison lines is from a movie, the Rodney movie, what is it called? Back to School? Back to School, when he asks about why we went to Vietnam and he goes, is she right? Before he goes into the ramp, you know? Is she right? Holding the rage?

You know, okay, I thought Kinnison when you said that and I go, I don't know, there's too many people to think of but Kinnison, I had to say was- It's not really fair. It really shocked me, Kinnison, and said that, and I go, I don't know, there's too many people to think of. But Kinnison, I had to say was- It's not really fair. It really shocked me, Kinnison, and I was like, fuck. When you see people that really put you on your heels, and you go, fuck, that's new, that's a new angle, that's new. But there are comics, and I'll say that

I think we're all pretty good at, you can see, you don't need an hour, you can see one joke, and you say, it might be a fluke if it's good, and if you see another good one, you go, okay, he's good. That's right, you don't need an hour, you can see one joke and you say, it might be a fluke if it's good, and if you see another good one you go, okay, he's good. Like it's all real. Do you guys remember the Westwood Comedy Store?

I went there like a Tuesday night at midnight, maybe eight, 10 people. First guy comes up dressed like Elvis, you know, and he's kind of going around like that, and he goes with the cigarette. Yeah, yeah. Dice. Dice, I'm gonna get you, you know, and he's kind of going around like that and he goes with the cigarette. Yeah, yeah You know dice dice. I'm gonna get you, you know, and he was so electric So fuck then Kenison came up. Oh in the same show He goes he goes there is no God and he took his beret off and he was bald

There's no God and he got a guy so frenzied the guy got up and took his pants down Yeah, it was just like I'd never seen anything like it. So I tried to get Kenneth to work. I couldn't get him work, cause I went back to San Francisco. And they go, what has he done? Who is he? Well, you'll find out.

I also love Pablo Francisco. Do you know him? All about him. Absolutely. I love that guy. That, cause he, that's the kind of guy I don't see anymore. Sam, same energy. Remember those, there was guys that, they're crazy.

Altman. Yeah, Jeff Altman. I miss those guys. I feel like we don't see a lot of that. Kind of that energy and just pure madness. Madness, barely under control. You don't know what's coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pablo, did he later on do the thing where he played a video game character with music and lights and he's walking around like a... Who? Pablo. Oh yeah, no, Pablo does a lot of techno club. Techno. He does?

I watch him all the time. All the time. Just because I want to laugh. Altman, Bernie, Bernie Mac. Old guys. I love watching Sam's first Letterman, and then I'll watch the second one. Because I like the first one, he was nervous.

And the second one, he knew this shtick works. This character works,'ll watch the second one. Because I like the first one, he was nervous. And the second one he knew this shtick works, this character works, he had the long coat. And I love the way he took the mic. Nobody took the mic on a stand on Letterman in those days. He handed it to you. Yeah, or you used the boom, which was so weak. I was on a tonight show with Carson and Sam was out there doing his thing

and then he starts to do something you're not supposed to do, I guess, or it's kind of X-rated. Johnny's next to me, he's going, "'Oh, sham, oh, sham.'" To himself, "'Oh, sham, no, don't sham. "'Don't you think he's fucking up, Dana?' Really?

No, I didn't say that to him. But I was there and Carson said, "'No, sham, oh, sham.'" He's out there just... But I was there, and Carson said, no sham, oh sham. He's out there just. How great was Carson? He really did love comics. Yeah. For all his other political structures that he put comics through,

they created the hierarchical structure to, I don't know why. Jim Macaulay, that whole thing. Is that what you're talking about? No, I'm sure it was, maybe it was Fred de Cordova. You come on, you don't sit down until you're approved. You don't just come out and not do stand up until you're approved.

It was a hierarchy that they built, even though we were the best part of the show. Yeah, people wait for that stand up. Do you remember your first set? Do you, well, I don't remember this. Did you get called over? No, but he called me back out. I walked behind the curtain

and he made me come back out and take a bow. You killed that heart? No, I didn't. It was, I was not happy with it. I thought it was good, but everybody was killing. And I didn't know in those days that if I don't have a mic in my hand, I can't do it. My thing doesn't work.

Oh, did you use the boom? I used the boom and I don't, I can't do it. My thing doesn't work. Oh, did you use the boom? I used the boom, and I don't, I can't do it. It's so different. I can't make my stuff work with a boom. Well, you don't have any dynamic without a mic, because then you can go a little bit closer. Right, you have no vocal dynamics, and you can't move physically.

Yeah. Yeah, and you're so used to it. Every set you're doing is practicing like this, and you walk out in the one that matters, and you're like, what am I doing? What do I do with my hands? So what are you excited about doing, David, in the near term?

Okay, that's a good one. I think movies are hard, but I like them if I like to do them. So. What do you like about it? I think I like when they come out. When they're down. You like when they come out? You like're down. You like when they come out.

You like the party. Yeah, the process is, they kind of. You're not even doing anything, you're sitting there. No, sometimes they're fun to do, and then it's fun, but if you're just doing it for the money, which I've done in the past, if you're doing it, you don't love it,

that's brutal. Amazing that you would admit that. Yeah. But you can tell which ones. And, but when you get one that's like, like the wrong Missy that does well, that becomes worldwide, and then Ted calls, then you feel like, oh, one worked, and I really like when a comedy works, and you go, oh, it actually worked the whole way,

because the interesting thing was reading it, and it's funny, and it gets funnier, and doing scenes about halfway through, I go, wait, we still have these scenes, too, that are supposed to be pretty funny if it works? This actually might be good. And you never know. Something interesting about movies is no one has it solved.

No one has it. No one. Correct, or they just make good movies. The best ever do not. You cannot fucking. If you go over to 100 movies, AFI, and you're looking to watch a movie, God, or even like best science fiction,

there's like 10 good science fiction movies. Let's just, I mean, obviously, comedy's our category. Greatest comedies ever made. Oh. Or movies that we think are what we would call great comedic movies. That is a short list. Right, what I was gonna say in terms of the standup.

You say yours and I'll agree. Our first exposure, Jerry, to Funniness, was probably Abba and Costello meets Frankenstein. Yep. And Jerry Lewis movies. Meets Frankenstein. Loves all the Jerry Lewis movies. Yeah, I remember those being big.

So the fun of movies are like, you're making this movie and then you think of- Oh, you're like those guys? Well, you're just, you're trying to do something like they did. It's almost impossible, and they didn't make every movie that was great. No.

Abba and Costello goes to Mars, it's terrible. The trick is you have to meet Frankenstein. Those guys aren't, their movies are not great. If you wanted to show an alien how funny Laurel and Hardy was, you're not gonna show them the features. You're gonna show them the shorts. Well, here's, I have, okay, I won't say this question. How do you feel,

because someone was on the podcast recently, and it was Michael Keaton, and said as a kid he didn't really get the three stooges, you know, and then now he loves them. No, not a fan. That was Michael Keaton. But I watched anyway because of Curly. Curly was so gifted, such a genius.

Yes, the original Curly. The other two, especially Moe, you're not funny. Well, they were in their early 60s when they started. You know, I was like, the Bowery boy. Moe would try to get them back on track though. Okay. When things are going wrong, which is a lot of the time.

So he's like the studio exec. What's a great comedy film to you? Yeah, go. You have five seconds. I am not in any way comparing what I did in any way, shape or form, but I watched Blazing Saddles the other day and I felt like, oh, I'm in this universe.

I'm in this universe. This, the reality tone of what I, of this one is in this universe. I'm in this universe. The reality tone of this one is in that universe. Mel Brooks having a GOV on the back of the jacket. You know, the big band in the desert. Things that we know are not really happening. But we like- Punches the horse. That was incredible.

Knocks out the horse. So, wow. I would probably the horse. Yeah. Wow. I would probably have to go Mark's Brothers. I think the Mark's Brothers, their pacing today is still quick. Yes. You know, in the way they worked. Because they worked it out.

Yeah. On the road. The pacing, the complexity of the bits, the physical bits with dialogue. Yeah. So I would pick one of theirs. There's a few, the physical bits, with dialogue. So I would pick one of theirs. There's a few, of course, that are great. What about something like airplane that's sort of crazy? Airplane, absolutely, absolutely.

Manhattan, Woody. You know, I don't think it is funny. I don't know, it's Midnight in Paris is I think a great Woody Allen movie. And funny. Great, absolutely great. You know, can you fight? Yeah.

You know, the guy who played him. Yeah. No, and you know, Owen Wilson was the perfect surrogate voice for Woody. Yeah. Incidentally, because Woody's like Jim Shutt. No, you're a terrific woman. And then Owen's like.

Terrific. Yeah. Wonderful guy. Well, I was just wondering if you maybe want to go to a museum today. Was he in the Seinfeld? No, that Seinfeld sketch, not the Woody Allen. I think that was.

What sketch? We did a Woody Allen sketch. Oh, really? We did one. It was with Jason. The one I saw today was you play the game show host with me and Schneider and Sandler. Stand up and win. Yeah, stand up and win.

That's a huge one. That was funny. That was fun. The way you played the host was very funny. How about when you're the teacher? Okay. The energy's waning, guys. I know.

Where is it? When you play the teacher and we're all in the audience. Yeah, yeah. And you go, what's the capital? And Farley goes like this. And you go, what's the capital of, and Farley goes like this, and you go, it's not Jeremy, he goes, he puts his hand down. I think it was me, Sandler, Farley,

I like seeing that it showed up and I was like, oh, it's so fun to see old ones, it's like a group of everybody. And it's funny and you were there and it's funny. Okay, that's it, I gotta go, Jerry. I gotta wrap this up, I got a million things going on. So Jerry Seinfeld, what's it. I gotta go Jerry. I gotta wrap this up. I got a million things going on. So Jerry Seinfeld, what's next? What was that?

Oh. What's next? You've just done this movie. Are you gonna? Any modeling for Kith? Remember when you modeled? I did, yeah. A lot of people like that.

How do you do with reviews? I love bad reviews. I love them. You love bad reviews? Yes. Why wouldn't you hate it? It makes, of's of course, I didn't make it for you particularly.

I made a movie that bombed in 1988, it's called Opportunity Knocks. And I'm just- I remember Opportunity Knocks. I'm casually talking to, I'm casually, you do? I didn't hear it when it was the best movie list. I'm casually talking to Bill Murray.

It's a Wednesday, the movie's coming out Friday. Bill Murray very seriously says to me, can you get out of the country? I mean, could you go to the woods? I mean, he's assuming the reviews will literally destroy me. Any way you could hike somewhere and just be away from all our drawings. But yeah, I got some bad ones.

Yeah, but as comedians, it's not fair because we have Iron Man suits that we wear in show business, which this was the biggest thing that I experienced doing this movie is seeing the lives of these actors and how different it is from our lives. They are- A lot of waiting.

To have a house like this, like you have, they're sweating out each gig. I have to kill in this, this has to work. Or things could. Or that's it, yeah. Or there could be a downturn. You and I, we don't think like that. Yes, we want our stuff to work,

but you got this metal Iron Man suit that nobody can get off of you. You can go out and work. You can go out and work. That's why. Whatever you want. It was revolutionary to John Lovitz when I convinced him to try it.

Yeah, how's he doing with it? He loves it. He goes, because the movies are, they edit, they cut my part, all that. Then he goes, he goes, I go to the club. They go, here's your dressing room. There's the stage. I do my time and they give me a check.

He could not believe the arithmetic thing that stand up is. It's kind of the most interesting thing about our careers is we lived through what it was at the beginning to what it is now. It changed underneath us. Yes. And I give Ted Sereno a tremendous amount of credit for this.

He changed who comedians are in the culture. He changed it. Definitely. I went on Bert Kreisner's podcast. He goes, I'm are in the culture. He changed it. Definitely. I went on Bert Kreisner's podcast. He goes, I'm playing Berlin tomorrow night. Wow. You know, these Netflix specials are global. Yeah.

You know, hundreds of millions of people. Yeah, God bless America. All right, I'll just, my final thing, what are you gonna do the rest of the day? You're gonna go meditate to get energy. I'll go meditate and I'll just, I gotta come up with a bit for weekend update. I'm doing weekend update.

Oh, this weekend? I need a bit, I don't have a bit. You don't have a bit? You're booked? You just kinda do it? I'm booked, I won't do it if we don't, I'm gonna call Colin Joe so we can try and come up with a bit.

Right. Okay. What could you do? They've invited me, I mean, I have to do it because when your movie comes out and you're on SNL, you're officially, you know, the guy of the weekend. You want to be the guy of the weekend, right?

You absolutely should. I'm just starting to think of what you're really, what you could do. Did you see the bit I did with the president of Pop Tarts calls me into the boardroom, Kelvin, Kelvin P. Gasworth. Yes. I mean, was that in the movie? The actor Jeff.

No, that was just a promotional bit. Oh, I saw it. Yeah. Did you like I mean, was that in the movie? The actor Jeff. No, that was just a promotional bit. Oh, I saw it. Yeah. Did you like it? With the guy Jeff. Where the guy says, how do you feel, how do you feel people just take your stuff and do whatever they want?

I go, you mean like Friends? I didn't see that. Cause he goes, I'm gonna take your stuff. Friends the sitcom? Took stuff from Seinfeld? Well. Oh. We got our trender. That's all we needed, Jerry.

That's gonna go all over the world. I saw that promo and you need that. That stuff's floating around on Instagram. Yeah. Yeah. So what do you do on there? Anything in the news lately? Yeah.

Anything non-protesty that's in the news lately? Yeah. All right, I'll hit you with some stuff later. I don't want to say it in front of you. How does that stuff get written on the show? You mean the update stuff? Yeah, update guys. Do you want to have somebody on just to do an update?

Yeah, usually it starts like right after probably the read through on Wednesday. You kind of, you would go to the update guy at the time, Herb Sargent when I was there. I'm thinking of doing an update thing. It just gets in the ether. But if they say we have Seinfeld this week, they might even say it earlier in the week.

But if the writers are freed up after they wrote their sketches, they go, everybody let's brainstorm. And we'll come to them with three ideas. Okay, so I should say to them, see what you can cook up? Yeah. If you could have Hugh Grant,

you're doing something and then Hugh Grant comes in. Probably can't get him. He's in London now. But he also was incredibly funny. I love Hugh Grant. Yeah, it's just something about that accent. He's what men used to be. The hard drinking, fun, just yeah.

Collar open, broad shoulders, everything I wanted to be. Broad shoulders, yeah. Well yeah, he's got really nice shoulders. He does. Well, he looked good, he had wanted to be. Good looking, yeah. Well yeah, he's got really nice shoulders. He does. Well, he looked good, he had the horns on. Yeah. All right. Comedians, you know, Nate Bargatze has good shoulders.

Almost no comedians have good shoulders. You're kidding. Can you name one? I can't think. I was thinking about this the other night. Sandler? I don't know, I'm just saying. Sandler had good shoulders when he was younger.

Younger, but not so good. Yeah, not anymore. Okay, there's our second friend. Rude. Rude. Rude. You really noticed shoulders. That's your update bit.

Okay. Colin, little shoulders. Jay, shoulders. Yeah, Jay had them. I never had them. Jay had them. I never had them. Yeah.

Comedian shoulders. Well, Jay was scary. Then you show clips. Yeah, I had two his shoulders. Here's this comic. Well Jay was scared. Then you show clips. And Jewish shoulders. Jewish shoulders. Here's this comic. There's your dick. Shoulders, seven out of 10. Here's this comic.

And then you just go, I know you've probably already done this at home but I'm gonna go through it with you guys. And then we say, who's got weak shoulders? Yeah. And you'll never work with them. It's the relationship between the shoulder and the hip. Because if you have shoulders.

Then you have a hip. What else do you need? When you're young, if you have you have shoulders, then you have a hip. What else do you need when you're young? If you have really good shoulders, everyone's gonna like you. Right, yeah. Right? Everyone's gonna be good with you. You're gonna get gigs, you're gonna get everything.

You get free food. Yeah. People love big shoulder guys. Little shoulders, not so much. Rickles, surprisingly, I saw him once with his shirt off. Jack shoulders, Jack. He has a solo flex in his dressing room. Deezh, a deezh.

All right, I got it. All right, so. I gotta pee. That's enough. Good night. We did a good job. Good night, that was great. Thank you, buddy.

That was fun. That was as good as we thought it would be. It is, it's great. It was great. I loved it. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe. Leave a like, a review. All this stuff, smash that button, whatever it is,

wherever you get your podcasts. Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.