Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Jimmy Kimmel & The Celebrities We Love

Episode Date: January 22, 2026

The guys jump in with the hard-hitting questions right away—like Jimmy Kimmel’s daily routine and whether he still goes to the mall—before spiraling into a whirlwind of celebrity stories and late-night lore. From debating the truth behind Kate Beckinsale’s infamous egg story to unpacking theories about 31 Atlas, tracing how Oprah inadvertently helped create The Man Show, arguing about ghosts, and exploring the future of AI, this episode has it all. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

He looked at whatever the piece of paper. You're like, oh, this is not funny. I'm not going to do it. They were going wild backstage. Like, God damn it was a host. You look around the audience, you realize, oh, half of these women think they might him. They're here to potentially be pulled out of this audience to be f***ed.

I did a show called The Man Show that was designed specifically to counteract Oprah. My wife. Well, we have James. James Jimis. James Finnius Kimmel. No one knows that that's his middle name. Jim Kim. Also on on Howard Stern is Jimble Kimball.

Is a friend of the show. And I've been on his show probably 20 times. That's, you know, when I'm promoting, I usually pop by Fallon, pop by Kimmel. There's no Ellen right now. But I have a lot of fun with this guy. And he's always a good audience. I will say he's a good laffer. I go on there.

He kind of lets me know. He knows kind of what I might talk about. He just says, just go. Just start blabby. And he'll chime in like something funny to add to it. So that's a good time on there. And now we get him. We've had him before.

He interviewed us on here. Wow. He interviewed us. He came around and he's, we got him on this podcast. He had just finished his show. Oh, right. He was in person when he interviewed us right here in this room. And then we got.

He got him after the show and he was nice enough to jump on with us. And we talk about his show and how hard it is to do it, how long he's gonna do it. And we basically just laugh a lot. Yeah, and we do get some inside baseball about his personal life and what his happy place is. What makes a kick? What's not doing the show?

Do you have a happy place? David, you know, what's your happy place? Not really. Besides being on this podcast with me, think of something else. when I'm in line at McDonald's at the drive-thru. Don Rickles used to say there was no greater thing than when he would kill in Vegas and he's in the jet.

I don't know if it's private and he's flying away with a big fat check. He did the work and he got the money. Yeah, I do say there's stuff in life that's still fun and it is coming up with a joke that works. When you think about it, I thought it went yesterday morning and I wrote it down. I was like giggling going, this might be funny. I'll have to try it. I don't know what it is right now, but that stuff is fun. It gives you a little endorphins.

Yeah, in the end of the day, that's kind of what it is. Like Jay Leno is obviously the Spengali of stand-up. You know, it's very simple, you know, because people are asking, what do I do? He goes, hey, yeah, write, right joke, tell joke, get check, right, Joe, tell joke, get check. Jay, because people are all under the drama, and I should be a middle of it.

act and what do I write joke tell you someone stole my act write another joke then just write more jokes anyway here's Jimmy Kimmel there's Jimmy Kimball not Jay Leno Hi there There's a rumor that you're going to do

SmartLess after this but No I mean how many What when does you shouldn't do that after your whole show How's it going guys I get exhausted thinking about your schedule This is bad enough. It's not, you know, it's, you get used to anything, right?

I mean, whatever the schedule is, you become acclimated to it. Yeah. If you do a movie and you're doing 14 hours a day and you get a 12 hour day, you're like, yes. Yeah, right. If you do any other show and you work an hour, you are. Yeah. And when you and John Oliver and Fallon and, you know, all the, all you guys, Colbert, come into the podcast world, we will welcome you.

There's four million podcasts. Thank you. Yeah, we do need more for sure. I think it might be a bad sign for your podcast that this is my second time on. And I've never, I was only at Saturday Night Live once. I went to watch it. I don't even get it on your TV. Do you realize how famous you are? How many years is it?

23, I don't know. How long have you been? 23. We're almost 23. On the show? Yeah, 23 in January. Oh, it's crazy, right? Can you go to a mall without a baseball cap and no one knows who you are?

Are there still malls? You know, I do go to the mall every once in a while. And have you guys been to the mall? I love it so much. One is it's the only time I get in the Christmas spirit is a mall with all the music. And then I saw a AI woman waving at me. And everywhere I went, she looked and winked at me. And it was like a hologram.

So I do like a mall. That's what mall were you at? Are you sure it's not at the mall and not tripping or something? It was in Chico, Chico, California. Oh, yeah, that's the, no, that's a prison, Dana. Yeah, you're out of prison. No, Jimmy, all kidding aside, I know Dana likes to joke around. I joke around.

David, give us a serious question. I went to the Grove this weekend and there was all the, the tree and all this stuff. So I see what Dana's talking about. It's very festive and I ate at the cheese dick factory, which I still go to. I still like. And you know,

there's some good stuff. They have a new item on page 88 of the menu. It's longer than the Bible. More chapters. Are salads? We're salads. That's chapter seven. I go,

oh, okay. Can you get everything? Everything in the world at Jerry's Deli with the big laminated. Is it still around? It's gone. There's no Jerry's Deli. I just named myself. You've got to get out of the house.

Billy's Deli. Billy's Deli. Yeah. How about hamburger? Don't tell me hamburger hamlet's not there. James is like, where can you play a good game of pinball? I, you know, I'm nostalgic about hamburger hamlet because of, I love that place. I used to go there.

That one on, uh, Doheye. sense at all the time David did I tell you I don't remember if I told you this but I saw you walking one day. I don't know why was he walking he was just walking on the street and I almost I had to pull a maneuver because I was like oh I got to text them while he's walking and I don't know why that I thought that would be a great thing to do but it became it was too dangerous it was it was in Hollywood you were walking somewhere and I thought it was interesting and then the circle was completed this evening when Kevin Nealyn was on my show, you guys know Kevin. And he said that of all the guests, of all the 170-some odd guests on his show hiking

with Kevin, the most difficult one to walk with was none other than David Spade. Yeah. And correct me if I have any of this wrong or if he had any of this wrong, but he said that you requested that there would be no incline whatsoever, which is not hiking. You have to have an incline if you're going to hike. Otherwise, it is just a stroll. It's strolling. This is getting into semantics.

It is, it's really down to a trick way to do an interview. So it's like, hey, we're going to go bowling. Hey, we're going to be in an ice bath. So I said, Kevin, I barely like walking. So I don't want to hike. Plus, I got a bad neck. So I go, listen, why don't we go to the Kmart parking lot and walk? And it'll be funny.

It's easier for you too. And then we won't be like, and then I got a hotel Transylvania, you know. So I said I might be a better interview. And he was like, no, no, we'll, we'll go on a little, it'll be barely, it'll be flat. And then we get up there in the middle of the interview. I go, dude, are we going uphill? I, of course, got incensed. Right.

Sure. You promised. Have you had on as Jimmy if you've been on hiking? I have. Yeah, we went on. And it's funny because, well, for people who haven't seen the show, is Kevin goes on a hike with somebody. But it's funny because it's not like, it's not like he cleared the area.

So when you walk in and Kevin's got a selfie stick, which is just a dangerous way to walk anyway, everyone passing you flips out because you're there with, you know, Kevin is a giant. And then so like three quarters of the interview is being stopped by people who want to like take a picture or something. because they don't understand there's a show going on. There's a big show. He has a drone control too. He has a drone now and he's doing that. He's got a siren on his head.

And so everyone's like, I thought Jack Black was funny. You know, I have seen it. We are buddies with Kevin forever. It is hysterical, but he's really like lugging waters. He's got like an emergency cinder block. I'm like, Kevin, you don't need all this stuff on you.

It's so hard to hike for you. He's also real serious. still complaining he gets real serious about the equipment too like you see that serious side of kevin that you didn't know was there the technical thing yeah this is a camera nicon tx 40 uh come sucker 3 000 i'm like oh so it's just a camera i got it there's a real dad thing that happens all of a sudden he's like you know it's like oh yeah this is what he's like with his son like you know making sure the equipment is right and don't oh that's right he spanked me one time over a rock

but you learned your lesson where did you guys go to the Iger sanction you're so tough we went to uh somewhere in the valley it was like a hiking area I was unaware of in the valley I mean he must repeat those because not everyone wants to drive out to

Chino Valley he must repeat it and also it's weird to get an invitation to do a talk show and you and he's dropped a pin that's where And that's how you find them. How to find me. There's no address. Yeah.

Yeah, Ways and then an Uber. Yeah, we're cutting through like somebody's yard in a cul-de-sac to get to the hiking area. Oh, I got a question for you. First of all, I do, it's about your show. But also about your show, what is the rigorous schedule down to at this point? Is it still rigorous? It's still hard to do a show. Yeah.

But what is the first thing in the morning? you start getting hit up with joke ideas or pre-tapes or not? Well, you really want to know the schedule? You're kind of more. You hosted it. As I've hosted it. We kind of know the schedule. Mine was harder when I hosted.

I'll go through really, really quickly. In the morning at 915, I get an email with like 30 pages of jokes and bit ideas. Shut up. Is that true? Perfect. I mow through that. I whittle it down to about four. pages. I send it back. I didn't get on a Zoom with our producers and have a meeting about the guests that

night. I take a shower. I drive into work. I have rehearsal as soon as I show up, which is at 1130. And then I go up to my office and review a bunch of material. Go through those jokes again, go through the bits. I'll make edits on bits and we shoot things if we have to. And then at from three to five, I write the monologue with two other guys here in the office. Oh, really? And they do a draft of it, and I sit and rewrite the whole thing. I mean, I wouldn't, no, I don't mean I rewrite the whole

thing. Right, you just got to make it in your own voice. Yeah, I do. And then I go do the show from five to six. How often, like, you're in the wings and you're about to come out and you just go, yeah, we don't got it tonight. This is stinker. I got to just riff it. I mean,

you know, you can always kind of reach in and pull something out. Tonight actually... You have good crowds. What was tonight? Backstage tonight, it was full crickets. I was like, oh my God, is anybody out there, Michael? This is, did people show up?

And that's where it becomes like, that's when you get a little bit nervous. And, but I find that if I just like add a little, if the audience has too much energy, I will subtract some. And if they don't have enough, I will add some. Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. Sometimes they're too energetic and they're laughing at setups. You're like, let me just get this out. Yeah, yeah.

It's funny because I'm never happy. Whatever, it's like, do they laugh too much or they didn't have enough? Shut up. Very rarely do we hit that exact right amount. You know, every year, David, I think we can unequivocally say this. We make resolutions that somehow never stick. But this year, I've found the one resolution that actually was. works. Grooms is the simple daily habit that succeeds where extreme resolutions fail,

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choose from their award-winning templates, then customize everything with intuitive drag and drop editing. So your site actually looks like you. Plus, Squarespace has built-in SEO tools to help you get discovered faster and show up in search results. Go to Squarespace.com slash fly for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code fly to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, yes. It was kind of weird when I, you know, first one on the Tonight Show. And I knew it was in the afternoon. But you just when you're watching that as a kid, the Tonight Show, you know, you think it's midnight.

You know. Yeah. It's called the Tonight Show for guys. I know. And you guys are all like afternoon. Mike Douglas, he's ours, you know. It's not called the. Well, we were live at the beginning.

And we were on at midnight on the East Coast. So we were on from 905 to 10.05 p.m. back in the old days. And that really felt like a late night show. And also there's just a crazy energy out on Hollywood Boulevard at that time every night because there's a lot of crazy people out on Hollywood Boulevard at that time every night. And so then everything, it was weird because if we do pre-tapes, it suddenly would go from night to daytime. And then I felt like, oh, we should do all our pre-tapes at night. But we're, you know, that didn't really work because we're doing the show from 9 to 10.

And it became just like an 18-hour-a-day job. And it became crazy. But then over the years, people had kids. And I had another set of kids. And we started like shortening the day. And eventually, this is as short as it can get, though, from 915 till 615. That's the minimum amount of time you can put into it. Yeah, I even did that Lights Out show, and it was way harder than I thought, because from the second I get up, there's just a stack of emails and things and things.

And I'm not Jimmy Fallon. Like, we both have to say we're not out there doing like tap dancing with JLo. He's got to drive to Staten Island and do like a bumper cars or someone, and he's got to learn a song and dance with Ariana Grande. It's hard to do all that stuff. It's so much energy. Not for him, but I think, yes, for us, it will be hard. But I have witnessed him in action. And it is, it's quite remarkable.

It's like, it's weird because you have a lot of professional singers who, you know, show up. And like, he doesn't even wear the earpiece that you need to wear to make sure you're singing well. Yeah. He just sings well. He has a super. I don't think people realize like how talent, actually it's a weird thing as you're like, oh, he's talented. Like, we're not, I'm not talented, you know, like I can go up and tell some jokes and write some stuff. but he has like real talent in the old-fashioned way.

I was told that if he choreographs a dance number, even with Justin Timberleg, whoever, he just has it. He does. I've seen that happen. Yeah. He came on our show and he did a Christmas song. And he was, he was, there were no mistakes. He just nailed it.

And it was unbelievable. It really was. Hey, it was a crazy Christmas song. You know, amazing. This is the thing. So that's just my... He's like, so kickball chain, fan, fan back. And you're like, yeah.

It was disheartening is really what it was. Yeah, I have a very thin lane of just mumbling jokes. And then some people do a lot more. Dana does a lot more. Yeah, Dana's got talent. Dana's got talent. But I've, you know, you know what wears kind of well, though, later on, at least for me on YouTube at night, is Dick Cavett. I mean, I really enjoy watching old Dick Cavett's.

he got his ass kicked by Carson or whatever we want to call it. They were kind of like the original podcast. You could hear traffic going by. It was very low-fi, long interviews with Robert Mitchum and stuff. You know what I love, I love watching with these old talk shows, especially like with Carson. What I really love seeing because we've all seen, we all seen the hatchet, the highlights and like all these visuals that we're all so familiar with. Yeah. But to watch like a year three when he's still in New York, Wednesday, 9.

show and they have these at like the museum of television or radio and and some of them are just dreadfully dull and it makes you feel better it really yeah true when he was 90 minutes it was rough 90 minutes was a very long time to do a live television show that third guess or fourth guest he's like now what do you do sir so you know interviewing is tough that interviewing is the toughest part for me i have a doing your show an appreciation for how you do that because it is it is like trying to catch the wind you know you let the guests go you do I jump in now you know how like over years as your kill skill set in your mind increased in terms of letting a moment happen and not in a run

it's this hard well there's a lot of factors I think and what you know one of them is when you're you're interviewing a comic which is always it's weirdly the easiest and the hardest at the same time because you do not want, you know, my natural inclination would be to say something funny when a story's been going on for a bit. But you know with a comic that they're getting to something, ideally at least they're getting to something and you don't want to jump on their setup. You don't want to ruin it.

So you have to be cognizant of that. And I also don't love knowing the jokes beforehand. I know. I hate it. Yeah. So I don't want to know the jokes. But you know when to jump in. but Jay used to think of jokes back.

I didn't know that. Like he would look at it and then he goes, when he gets to this point, I'll say this. And I would, I would be in the middle and say something kind of funny. I go, oh. But I realized later that was part of the meeting is like, what could I say here? What is he?

So he was really coming off almost better than me. You don't want to know the bits. You just get it like a bullet point. You don't want to know the line by line. Yeah. Yeah, I don't want to know. I prefer, because. then it's just like the whole thing feels fake you know so at least i'm a member of the audience of

i'm sitting there with with a comic unless they need me to know something i prefer not to know i try to tell when i go on can who works me i say try to give him as little as possible or maybe just give him an out where he knows it's over right right and then you're kind of just get to go all right i kind of know what spades and he's going to fuck around here and i just got to know when to keep it things moving I feel like also, yeah, David, you've been on so many times now that I just kind of know where you are in the story. So and we don't really need to. You go, this is funny because I do, this is really funny because he did it last time. Can I tell you?

He did this story three times. Okay, I know the story. This is good. Rickles would do that every time. Rickles had, you know, Super Dave also was another one. It was great because he would do the same stuff. Once I was watching an old video of Super Dave on Carson, it was shortly after he'd been on my show,

and he did exactly all the same material. I was like, oh, this is incredible. Like his philosophy was nobody gives a shit, nobody remembers, and it's true. I mean, we were also like, oh, I can't do that joke. You know, Colbert did a joke like that in October of, you know, 2027. Nobody's keeping track of all. And who's going to see both shows at the same time?

I saw Rickles guys on something two nights ago where he's walking around like at the Golden Gloves. And he's walking the crowd. He goes, Julia Roberts is over here. Julia, I live near you in Malibu, two houses down. You don't invite me over for dinner. And she goes, Don, any time he goes, you have no lines, Julia. He? And that one, she laughed so hard.

Ad, live with him. No, no, Julia, no lines. As a kid, I didn't understand as a young person, but it seemed like mayhem when he came out. Give out a cookie, put him in the corner. The show started, you know, all these abstract put-downs. He didn't have any jokes. He just had these rhythms of put-downs, you know, Frank, the mob called, Benny Blah. You know, and they're on YouTube and you just go, and same thing with Rodney.

I'll see YouTube clips of Rodney and just go, damn, the amount of great jokes. Just appreciate those guys. It was funny with Rickles. Like he had some sense that he'd done like some of these jokes before. So he would truncate them in a way that sometimes cut out the setup to the joke. Yeah. So he had some jokes about his wife like, hey, she with the jewelry. She's signaling ships.

And it was like, wait, but what led us to that? What? Who has jewelry? He's got big jewelry. Yeah. He's like, he's doing jokes. Joan Rivers. Johnny.

Johnny, it's over. Okay. You know, it was all this like Johnny, it's over. That was funny. Johnny, it's over. Yeah, Martin Short, who's we love, of course. You know, the compliment and then the chairs pulled out, you know. You know, I love your show.

When I did to sleep, you know, it's just all. I was at a dinner at Martin Short's house one night with Rickles and his wife Barber. Oh, my God. And they're sitting there. And this is something I say to my wife a lot now because it made such an impression on me. Rickles is trying to he's telling a story that his wife Barbara has heard

thousands of times, you know, and she would just kind of fill in the blank and like he'd be like, and then she'd be like, Vinny Boombaugh, and he's like, oh, Vinny Boombae, you know, whatever, and he got to think. And she had had enough of these stories. I mean, she'd heard them too many times, and he said something,

and she looks over him, she goes, talk, talk, talk. And she does a little hand motion, he's talked to talk, talk, talk. He goes, talk talk talk talk talk talk without talk talk talk you'd be a derelict I say that to my wife something but how you'd be a derelict

such a perfect word Johnny Johnny your wife Alexis you're going to pass away one day and she'll be like too bad about Johnny I'll take the red dress yeah he's out spending your money Johnny you understand

we went out to a explains the joke to him we went out to dinner one night at um crags where um don rickle you know like everybody to hang out place yeah and uh at the end of the night you know he was fragile he was he was in his 80s at the time at the end of the night these uh two bus boys come over two mexican guys and to help him up and um they help him up and he stands up and he gives him each $20 and he goes here buy your mother a house Regis, Philman used to open for him. And Regis said, honest to God, some nights, you don't know if he's going to make it out there. He gets two high balls in him.

He's rubbing his knees. They're playing the trumpet. Sometimes it doesn't happen. Rubbing his knees as he goes out. Relate to that. Honest to God. That was Regis. That was his phrase.

Honest to God, I got to tell you. That's beautiful. I had Ligis and Don. He goes, he shows, he goes, his black guy in the crowd. His friends are upstairs in your hotel room,

stealing all your stuff. And then it's, they cut, it's like Quincy Jones going, my friends? Because he still, there was a lapse there where he was doing those jokes

a little too late in the game. And it was like during the Oscars, something, and I'm like, wait a second. I don't, I don't know how to do that. To have the band all,

and with that trumpet and his theme, every time when he came out, you know, was a very cool thing. When he'd come on my show, he'd look around at the band, and we have a, you know, a Japanese guitar player and to, you know, Mexican guy, you know, so he'd go right into it.

And it was funny because I think the first time he was on the show, it got big laughs. And as the years went on, people became more sensitive. And, you know, nobody in the band cared. They all thought it was funny. But then there's the same jokes every freaking time. But, you know, after a while, it became like, just knew that what we're going to have to do, he was going to come out, he was going to do

those racist jokes. I was going to edit all of those, that whole top of the segment out. And I would just take a beat, let him do all those jokes. And I'd say, how are you? That's what you said. That's hard on TV. Yeah. You have to tell me the other day when you were talking to Kate Beckinsale, is this a joke with the, with the eggs? I didn't get. There was not a joke. I didn't hear the end of it. And I was like, is something going on I don't know about. Well, what happened was Kate Beck and Sills. Jody, I don't think Dana knows. Yeah. I don't know. I'm hearing it now. So Kate Beck and Sill, the actor, from England, very, very beautiful, obviously. Also, very funny, like, kind of weird, you know, and, like, funny, like, in a way you

wouldn't expect. Her daughter's boyfriend laid a couple of eggs, not in the same night over the course of a few weeks, an egg, which I saw a photograph of, and it looked, it looked like a yellow egg. It was hard to tell. This could possibly be a big story if it's true. It could be a big story. I still haven't gotten to the bottom of it, but something that looked like an egg came out of his, his intestines. And she showed me a picture of it, it was pretty gross. It was hard to tell what the size was because there was no point of reference. It wasn't like somebody's hand was in there. but it looked like an egg and then it happened again a few weeks later and they don't know what it was they don't know why it happened and they ruled out sexual play as a cause of it they they don't know what it was he didn't swallow a whole egg it was so the flexing to all of them the first thing would be maybe something was up there and then ultimately came out my guess is it was some kind of gelatinous mass that accumulated in his body sickening this is not the fun ending where where is the world gone i mean really

show so i understand there was a johnny would love that in your rectum you hear about that ed because the story was like 20 minutes i'm like get to the part where you're joking i'm like where is this going this was not a joke it was you know what it was really for me i wanted to hear the whole story so that after we put it on youtube somebody would solve the mystery yeah yeah yeah what happened no i forgot about it and bother me to look i'm going to look Because I was going, I used to know her a little bit. I'm like, I do know she does jokes and stuff, but that one, it was too, it wasn't really a joke because she was going too long.

I'm like, well, there was a picture of it too. So it definitely wasn't a joke. Okay, I jumped out, but I go, I'm going to just wait and ask Jimmy. Now, if Cape Beckinsale fabricated that photograph, which was disgusting, by the way, I give her even more credit because that's an extreme, that she went to extremely. That's an Andy Kaufman like situation. Yeah, yeah. That's something a little extra special. But I do think it's interesting when, David, you say things like, yeah, I knew her a little bit.

And it makes me think, oh, what did you do to her, David Spade? No, we used to be friends to the old baby. Yeah, what do you mean know her? I don't really know her. A little bit. No, I, same thing as you. I'd see her out. And she was always saying, like, very sharp, like, mean, funny comments.

Right. She was like, I have a sense of humor to, even though I'm really pretty. So, but that was fine, but she would do jokes on my Instagram and stuff like that, you know, like make fun of me. That was it. But I have more questions for you. That's not over yet, Jimmy. Okay. Do you have any interest in 3-1 Atlas?

In 3-1 Atlas? The big monster spaceship coming to America. That's supposed to be a comet. I don't know anything about it. You don't, Jimmy. No. But I'm now interested. it's coming specifically to America

or it might hit any part of the planet? I thought you knew about this. 3-1 Atlas, which this should be most of your monologue, it is a comet. Okay. And a lot of people from NASA, a lot of people are saying

that it doesn't look like a comet. They think it's a spaceship. Oh. And it's on its way. And when it goes around the sun, they'll know more about it. They said, okay, It was about a month ago, and they said, it doesn't do anything a comet does.

It slows down. It speeds up. It zigzags. They're like, this could be the mothership. And so it is sort of a story, but the scientific community, there's a few people that sort of went along with it. So what if it's the egg up the butt? You're not connected this story.

I'm going to text cake, that would be great. That can sail right now, just because the egg thing and the rocket ship. Let's see what she says. Yeah, see what she says about that. You know what, David, you have my curiosity. peaked i did not know about uh three one atlas i did have lazy writers they might know i did have a long conversation about ufos with my guest the night uh last night uh paul anka um who is uh very into ufos more the the singer the singer i was watching his thing last night my way yeah

yeah oh his yeah he watched his documentary last night yeah he he's really into ufos and um you know we discussed very theories like including that they all are under the sea that that's where they I think a lot of them come from the ocean yeah now are you a UFO guy David yeah sort of I mean just for something to do to seem interesting Dana are you um I'm more I like astrophysics like I like you know what are the odds that the earth exists and that we're on it I guess uh right now it's two trillion to one so they're looking for seeding, which would be 2001 in space audits because the bacteria, how it got here, the oceans came from comments and how it was all stacked. It's two trillion to one that were here. And that fascinates me. Yeah. Well, yeah, because I think we are here. I just blew his mind,

man. Yeah, you did. I mean, I really didn't realize. These are the same odds as the Jets winning the Super Bowl. Hire me. I'll fill out that model. Boom, boom. Does Molly ever? Does Molly ever watch you? Molly's Jimmy's wife reading your jokes the morning and you scratch one out and she goes, well, what's wrong with that one? We do have some things like that, but I will tell you, and she'll be horrified that I told

you this story. She was very mad at you once because she wrote a bit that you liked for the show and you're a guest on the show. Okay. And they worked on her for a long time and you seem to be into it in the dressing room and You guys kind of worked it out the whole thing. And then once you got on the air, you looked at whatever the piece of paper. You're like, oh, this is not funny.

I'm not going to do it. No way. They were going wild backstage. Like, God damn it. Yeah, when you were a guest on the show. Yeah, when you're a guest. Oh, really? Yeah.

What an asshole. Yeah, they did. It sounds like me, but plus I like Molly's much. It sounds so much like you. It sounds exactly. No, Molly helped me when I did the one where, where I was the talent coordinator and Julie Bone was there and I was the new talent coordinator.

Yeah. And I was asking her interviewing or pre-interview. That I liked. I thought that was funny. All right. I'll tell her. I'll let her know. And she helped me with that.

She's over it. She's over it. But it was, you know, for. I love that story because I don't know what it is. And when you tell me and then I realize it's true and I find out more, I'll be like, oh, yeah, yeah, what a prima don't know. Well, it's, you know what? But it's when you have that kind of talent,

you're entitled to be a prima donna from time to time. Well, I think the only problem would have been if I think I wasn't good in or something. I was like, I could not. Sometimes stuff gets written for me even on the old show, and I'd be like, I don't think I can pull this off. Like, it's good. I'm just not as good in it as I thought I'd be.

Yeah, we saw that play out in real time. Yeah, fucking kill you. You're not supposed to go along with what I say. It's just say I'm a super talent. It all sounds very logical. Have you, what are the people who've sat in that chair? Uh-huh. Yeah.

Man or woman where the charisma or their beauty or whatever that was just vibrating, a little almost like distracting. Oh, yeah, that does happen from time to time. It is interesting. Yeah, some people just like have this, this thing in the audience just gets wild. Like, first of all, when there's like a good-looking guy, especially a young guy on the show, good-looking guy, But you look around the audience, you realize, oh, half of these women think they might fuck him.

Like, they're here to potentially be pulled out of this audience to be fucked by this guy. Yeah. And they, and I think that's a, that's something that only women have, like that thought. Like, we never, like, we wouldn't show up to see Gal Gadot and think like, she's going to pull me out of the audience. Right. But they rarely, like, stop at a commercial and go, this is a little unorthodox. But this gorgeous woman in the fourth row, could she come backstage with me, now and you're like, oh. The main tell of this is like women will chase teen idols, like obviously the Beatles,

chasing them, but you never see men chasing a woman and screaming. No, because they'd be arrested. Exactly. You know, they would be arrested. And if they are chasing them, they're probably gay. I mean, let's be honest, you know. Let's be honest. Let's be honest.

Let's be honest about everything. I get it because sometimes when we were on SNL, By the way, this isn't really even an S&L podcast anymore. We do whatever. But when we were on there and you would meet a host, when I saw like Sharon Stone, even Alec Baldwin's first time, in the meeting, I would think to myself, this person is a movie star.

Like this has star quality. They're great looking. They sound cool, the way they walk it. And there's some I thought we're just flatlining. Here's a list. I'm kidding. But there's some where you go. I don't even get this at all.

I don't know what's going on. You remember that, David, where it's the, the host has come in on Monday and they come to your office and they go, Robert Mitchum would like to meet you. You're like, what? Charlton Heston is down there. You're just walking and you open the door and then you're meeting these iconic people. It's just very surreal. I would say that the best answer to that question is probably Oprah, who, like, I could see that. I didn't get the whole Oprah thing for much of my life.

In fact, I did a show called The Man Show that was designed specifically to counteract Oprah. And my ex-wife would watch Oprah and then I'd walk in. I'd come home from Morgan. She'd be yelling at me for something she saw on Oprah. And I was like, who is this Oprah? Why is she ruining my life? Like it became personal with me. And, and but when she, you know, I think that we did this show for like 10 years before we had her on the show.

And I was like, oh, wow, I get it now. because she was like, she just was a presence. It was almost a religious experience for everyone there. And she was so, she understood what she was to everybody. And she gave them that thing. And she, like, we had, I think we shot a bit with Oprah. That was a really, really funny bit. It started at 5 o'clock in the morning and it went till very late at night.

It was more than an all day thing. It was a whole bunch of setups. And we, and the day started. with Oprah in my bathtub in my dressing room like that's how that's how the day started so we spent the whole day together and then you know you'd expect after a 17 hour day that Oprah would high tail it the fuck out of there but instead Oprah got a bottle or a couple of bottles a very expensive tequila and she gathered everyone on the crew and everyone together and gather around and gave this beautiful toast to everyone and then took pictures of

with everyone and then then and only then when she had like interacted with every single person there did she get in the car and leave and I was like ah now I understand some people get that they're a big deal and they this is the only time people see them and they make it like a nice thing yeah yeah some people really understand that and I've had experiences in my life before I was on television where I've I've met people and who meant a lot to me and then didn't, they were always cordial or whatever, but when you don't get that kind of like, you don't get warmth back, you don't get anything really back. It's disappointing. And, you know, I always feel like I never want to be that, uh, that person who disappoints. There is a force field.

There was an actress. I was doing some Tom Hanks. Anyway, long story short, and I was approaching the table. There were other people and I just wanted to say hello. And I just saw the radar come up. like, and I sort of, I just waved, you know, because there are certain people are so famous that they're, it's exhausting for, I just got to tell you. You know, it's like you meet Paul McCartney. I'm sure you've met him several times. I just got to tell you what you meant to me. Yeah. And it's hard. I mean, I saw Jimmy, I met Jimmy Stewart and at an, you know, AFI, Kirk Douglas salute. And I got, I was young. I just had been on SNL for a few months. And I walked over to Jimmy Stewart. And he grabbed my hand. And he just said,

I know. I know. Wow. I mean, you heard it. But that's what I learned about show business. Around the table. People are talking, you know. And they kind of said, yeah, Jimmy Stewart, not working much anymore.

And I go, then you can't fucking win show business. Yeah. There's no winning. He's 83. I'm not getting a nap. Someone goes, is he still in the business? And you go, oh, my. Oh, yeah.

It's tough. If you see people come up, they're little nervous. They got their phone. and you just skip the middle part and you go, you want to take a picture? It sounds so cocky, but it is what they want. But they're just, it takes the eight minutes in the middle out. I had a guy, I had a kid who was like looking at me and he had his phone.

And I was like, I was had like a hockey rink or something. And I just see him doing it. And I was just like, hey, you want to take a picture? He's like, what? I said, do you want to take a picture? He goes, no, you just, you got. You have mustard all over your face. I know.

I was like, oh, okay. But I did go back to Jimmy Stewart after the dinner was over. And he goes, well, you already, already said hello to me. What the fuck do you want from me? Jesus. I go, God, it's a wonderful life, not. I just did that for Jimmy Stewart's swearing. When you go to like one of these parties, it's kind of show busy.

And then you see someone you're like, you do. partially part of you wants them to like somewhat or know what you do and when they don't it's such a blank stare it's like oh i mean it's nice to meet them but you kind of wish they saw something i did on tbs at some point on a rerun and said yeah hey weren't you some guy and some stupid shit it is funny what you don't want like you're like oh i don't want to be bothered i don't want to but then you're like, oh, you know who I am right. Dude, it's like everyone in the DMB line talks to you, and then you get up for the lady, and she doesn't know you,

and she's like, this isn't going to work. And I'm like, don't, like, you should be the one that's fawning over me to help me, but the one person that matters doesn't give us fat fuck. And they're like, yeah, back of the line, start over. I'm like, God, hang it. Yeah, I'm most embarrassed, most in shaved of myself when I, um, start dropping things, in front of my kids friends. You know, like, oh, look at who texted me, Olivia Rodrigo.

That is a good when you go to someone younger. You're like, oh, I guess we got Sidney's Sweeney on the show tonight, yawn. And they're like, oh, she's coming in? Yeah, ya, ya, yeah, had that. No, it's, we all sound like assholes. Keep going, Danny. You had, we had, before we let him go. No, we got you for a little five minutes.

Jimmy Cole. Are you, like, who's your closest friend in show business? Yeah. Or one of the closest. You seem to be, you're very social. Jesus doesn't count. It counts. Yeah.

Who's my closest? Well, is there kind of a posse with Jennifer Aniston and you and Jason Bateman? And there's a group of friends. I had dinner with them all last night. Seriously? Did you see them all? At Tower Bar. Yes, with Paul Anka.

And it's funny what we were just talking about a second ago because Cindy Lauper happened to be there and she came up to the table and we were excited to see her. She drove all night. And Paul was happy to see her. And Paul said, hey, you know, I covered time after time on one of my albums. And she had no idea. She's like, you did?

He said, yeah, I did. And then he said, I'll send it to you. And she goes, I'll look it up. I owe that guy five grand. I owe Paul Enka 5K. What did you do? Kevin Pollock had a birthday party in Vegas. We had a room playing blackjack.

I'm terrible. Paul Anka comes in. I have $500 and he sits next to me and he starts coaching me in blackjack. You got to whack it, whack it, whack it, whack it. Within a half hours up to five grand. I did it my way. But I've ever publicly thanked Paul Anka. Well, I feel like you should get to keep some of that, shouldn't you?

Since it was your money that you were invested. What if he just took it and walked away? But he was kind of brilliant at. I bet he's probably banned from the tables or something. I don't know. In that documentary, he's in Vegas all the time. Yeah, he lived in Vegas for a very long time. It was very cool to hear him talk.

I mean, my way is obviously a huge one. I was thinking, what is Sinatra's most well-known hit? Is it my way, New York, New York, or other? I could talk about him all night. And I think it's got to be my way. It's my way. Okay, can I just as a fan out for a second? Yeah, late night and car stereals are fucking nuts, right?

Got you under my skin is so brilliant in the way he sings and the lyrics and also the summer wind. Summer wind is very up go through a bit, you know. He died in my arms. You know that story, right? Frank's a night. Dr. died in your arms?

I was in Cedar, Sinai, getting a stent in those days. And then there was this hubbub. I was just reading a magazine. It was like midnight ago. Frank Sinatra just checked in. And he was in the room next to me.

They took him down to the ICU, and he passed away that night. Wow. But before that. In your arms. Well, before that, I just snuck out of my room and kind of knocked and go,

you know, we had a moment. Did you sing? That's life. I just want to tell you you go, you should take a selfie, but it was like too late. Is it like just real quick? Who do you mind, Mr. Sinatra?

I just have to tell you. Just real quick. I just got to tell you. I got to tell you. I got it. I like you go, the Fancenada just checked in like it's a hotel. Oh, well,

it was just sort of surreal, right? Just like, oh. How crazy. I know. Why was I there that night when he was, Everyone's got stories like that. I had a bunch of nobodies. You've ever had a polter guy, so you ever had an out-of-body ghost experience, Jimmy?

Me? It's weird you say that when you're talking about hospitals because the reason, no, I haven't. The reason I don't believe in ghosts is because I feel that if there was such a thing, there would be hundreds of thousands of them in every hospital because that's where people die. And it would just be like, you wouldn't be able to get into the elevator. There would be so many ghosts. yet I've never seen or even heard a report of a ghost at a hospital. Hmm.

Yeah. That's good theory. Hmm. Have you? We just crack this story about this. I had either a waking dream state, but I was this Sanchezro Ranch Hotel with my wife in the 80s. So we just go to sleep and then I feel this pressure pulling me back in the mattress, like pushing on you. In the middle of the night, pushing down on me.

What the fuck? So I get up, I use the restroom. I'm adrenalized. Like, what a weird dream. I just assumed intellectually I was in a waking dream state. Yeah. Sleep paralysis, they call it. And then when I went back in, I thought I was as awake as I am right now.

And then it started again. And it was aggressive. And it was pounding and holding me back. And I was like really flipped out. So middle of the night, 3 a.m., my wife's asleep. This is why we've been married a long time. I tapped her on the shoulder and I said, we got to leave. And she said, okay.

She didn't even ask why. No explanation. Well, then I explained it to her and there was a painting of a little girl with curly red hair on a tricycle from like 1880. That flipped me out. Nope. And we left. And then it was, there was a stormy night and there was either a rat or some kind of animal on the road.

So anyway, that happened to me and I just talked to someone recently. they had the same paralysis, but then when they got up to go to the bathroom, they were standing and the thing was pushing against them. Wow. Wow. It's just sort of, I don't have an explanation for it, but it never left me as far as just like, what the fuck? Wow. Yeah, no, I never had anything. Nothing ever happens to me. Do you feel any pressure on this podcast? Like, you can't get out. You've already done a 14-hour day. You feel like David's faith is on and on. What if I learn that you guys are ghosts? just sat here for an hour with two ghosts. I just go to,

how do we get here, why are we here, what's going on here? So then it sort of opens my mind, like, what the fuck? What are we doing here? It is, yeah, I don't know if there's an answer, though. I feel like we're just, but aliens. We're just here. Yeah, maybe we came on the earlier comment.

What's under the pyramids go? Dirt. Okay, you got that one right. lucky okay i would walk disney's head is underneath the pyramids no i have a lot of

pyramid talk i'm going to save it he's a UFO pyramid guy i'm more now i think the pyramids go down deep and i think there's things down there and they're kind of like antennas i don't know it's always something to do it's better than drugs can i just mention very quickly before we wrap up which is we're living in a science fiction world in that these giant companies are building these data centers to get super intelligence that will

supposedly solve cancer and energy. So we're in the middle of this thing that is like a science fiction movie and the energy they need and how vast it is. And I mean, what? Well, yeah, we're in a lot of trouble. There's no question about it. Hopefully all the energy that AI needs. Hopefully, AI will figure out how.

to provide all the energy that it needs. And if it is something that we should all fear, it probably will figure that out for itself. But in the meantime, it's not great for people who like to have their air conditioner on in the summer. Right. And isn't it weird that I never thought about, like the idea that it took power to do any of this stuff?

Like I was like, what power is this? I'm writing in, like give me a synonym for Cheerios. and, you know, coming back with a list of them. This is what I used as a fictorist. And then there's some data center somewhere that requires a huge amount of energy to do all this shit. Who knew that? Yes.

You go on Sora. I have SORA Pro. You make up a video. It goes all the way to a data center. And then it gets inside the data center and the GPUs, all the chips. And there's inference, which makes it intelligent. And that's where it's exponentially going to increase. Anyway, I find it fascinating, a little scary, but yeah, they need energy.

They need energy. You're so much, so much smarter than I imagined, especially when it lined up right next to David. I'm about the same as what you thought. Yeah, you know, a little less. There's a little less. This is a Christmas theme. I don't want to bring it up. And he's green and I'm red.

And it's sort of our own little joke. There's Dana's tree behind him. Oh, I like that. You have to have a plant. When you do your podcast, you've got to have a. fake plan. You do have to have one. And Dave, I know, David, I notice you have a little rocket ship behind you. Is that representative of your UFO fascination? No, I don't think so. I think we just rotate things around back there. I see. They're just general. There's props. Yeah, there's books.

He's got a cool set. I, here's my last question. Yeah. Okay. What's your next, when we go, goodbye, Jimmy, what's your next one hour like? Yeah, where do you go? Podcasts. I will go change out of the suit. I will take it off my suit. I will take a bath. I will go home and I live about 15 minutes away. Nice. And I will catch my kids before they go to sleep. And then my son will demand that I lay with him, which he makes me do each night.

And I will lay with him in bed until he falls asleep. Usually I fall asleep before he does. And then I have to wake back up and go do my homework, which is kind of miserable. But he's eight years old. He still likes me to lay in bed with him until he falls asleep. And even though we feel he's too old for that, we love it. So we don't want to, you know, we don't really want it to stop. I think eight is fine.

I think 18 we could talk. I did it until probably nine. Eight is fine. You know, love them up. Do you read books to them and stuff like that? We are, well, we read children's books, but also we've been read, we are, we just finished book four of Harry Potter, which I'd not read before. Right.

And then that's, that's fun. That's my daughter, my son and I, that's our thing. And then at the end of each book, we will watch the movie. And then what, oh, yeah, I mean, Harry Potter is brilliant for what it is. And it's generational now. So when do you actually go lights out? Like, can you get asleep after all this stimulation, like by 930 or 10 kind of? No, I'll go to better later than that.

Usually around 1130 or so. Last night, I think I was up until 1230 because we went out to dinner. but yeah, I'll get to bed. I don't, you know, I like to stay up. Left to my own devices, I would be up until 4 o'clock in the morning every night. Oh, really? And I'd wake up at noon, but that's not realistic for me. So you're nocturnal.

I am, yeah. Genetically. Yeah, I think just like I have a loud Italian family, and it was the only time what was quiet in the house was late at night after everyone had gone to sleep. So that was my time to watch Letterman and just kind of stay up. up and work on little projects. That's John Travolta's thing, is the world stops, and it's very quiet. And he's nocturnal.

I think he's up pretty much all night and then sleeps. I'm actually up with John Travolta at that time, together. Yeah, it's just like weird. You know, Jimmy Kim will come so far. And, you know, we spoon a little bit, but there's nothing going on. We just like being up late at night together. That's him from 1975. I apologize to John.

That's the rock and roll and one night guy. That's my job. John Travolta right there. Yeah. Oh, wow. Him and Vinnie Barbarino. Yeah, and, you know, Pulp Fiction. I just love, love that guy. And he's the nicest celebrity I've ever met of a superstar. He is very nice. Yeah. He's super nice. Yeah, most of them are, you know, most, I mean, I'm sure, like, everybody's got their own things, but I have this, I've kind of, over the years, I just kind of go like, oh, okay, well, even if he is pretending to be nice, he's pretending to be nice. He's pretending to be nice. And that's being nice.

That is actually being nice. I agree. It's a good way to look at it. Like that maniac Tom Cruise, he was on our show. And it was one of these things like Tom has to be out of here at 604. If Tom, it goes one second over 604, you are, you know, he will never be here. You know, they were very, very, very, very. We're like, okay, don't worry.

We're going to be on. Now, Tom, being Tom, being Tom. Cruz seems to have no idea of this and decides to go into the audience and greet every single person in the audience, which they are over the moon about. They are absolutely out of their minds with joy. But it takes a, you know, a very long time. And it turns out whatever that deadline was, wasn't so hard after all. Wow. They, they're all scared of their job. I've seen that all over the place. And then the actual person goes, I don't even know what you're talking about. Yeah, right. Yeah. That seems so.

Tom Cruise to go in and meet every person. I mean, the drive of this guy is just my I mean, I will go to every movie. He's hanging off the plane. He's holding his breath for six minutes. I mean, you just go for the spectacle of what he's putting himself through physically to entertain you. Yeah, now that I think about it, maybe the reason, yes, maybe it's all as being nice to everybody all the time and greeting all these people. Maybe that is why he's trying to kill himself on film. He's like an old school movie star, but you don't really see him. And then when he comes out, he saves all his energy.

And then he's super nice to everyone, very energetic. And then he hides again. Because the old days, we were talking, you didn't see Carrie Grant on TikTok that much. You didn't see all these people. And then they were kind of stars. Then you saw their movie. And then they disappeared. And now it's everyone's everywhere.

They call him the last movie star, but he rejects the title. you know i think you know brad pitt uh this summer and tom cruz it's kind of cool guys in the early 60s looking great being action stars and still at the top of their game you know yeah still hard as a rock in the sack yeah i'm sorry oh sorry did i say that out of yeah yeah muscula we were all thinking it if you take a tom cruise and you take uh you know a brad pit in the musculature of the and the abs and all the abs and all the doubts. We love all. Jimmy, thank you for doing this after your show.

Go home and do this next hour and hang out with your son. And thank you for coming on. If you like, I could just bring the Zoom and we could just, I could try, we could drive home with me. You could see what's going on there and maybe have a little snack. We always crack up. Every time on your show, we crack up the whole time. So it's great to see you.

And thank you, buddy. It's great to see you guys. Thank you, Jimmy. You guys are the best. And David, if I see you walking, I'm going to pounce. Yeah, do a bit, dude, for sure. I'm so embarrassing in the real world. So just do something that it'll be for sure embarrassing to me.

All right, thanks, buddy. All right, thanks, guys. Hi, Dana. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Thanks for coming on my podcast. Hey, guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast. app, give us a review, five-star rating,

and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now! Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, and executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman,

Maddie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answer on the show. You can email us at fly on the wall at odyssey.com. That's a-u-d-ac-y-c-y-com.