Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Jon Lovitz

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

The beach house, SNL gratitude, and Dana not wearing pants with Jon Lovitz. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whether you're doing a dance to your favorite artist in the office parking lot, or being guided into Warrior I in the break room before your shift, whether you're running on your Peloton tread at your mom's house while she watches the baby, or counting your breaths on the subway. Peloton is for all of us, wherever we are whenever we need it, download the free Peloton app today. Peloton app available through free tier or paid subscription starting at 1299 per month. So I love it. John Loveitz is on the show and I love it. This is an old buddy of ours and he's got a dog named Jerry and he's goddamn Jerry's everywhere. Every time we go somewhere,

you know Jerry. Hello, Jerry. Yeah, he can never leave the house without Jerry. Jerry literally, you know, when I played Vegas, Jerry would, with John, Jerry would just be behind the curtain, just kind of waiting, you know. And then sometimes Jerry would wander out when John was doing stand-up, crowd would go crazy. And I hate to say it, not that cute.

I hate to say it. It's not that cute. Sometimes, you know, dogs are so ugly, they're cute, because they don't know how bizarre looking they are. But yeah, I'll give it that. It's a toothy under bite, a tight little dog, but a sweet dog that's adorable. I saw another dog walk by and goes,

gross, and dogs aren't usually judgmental like that. Gross. That many dog routines, too. By the way, what about Nick Cannon with his kid? Nick Cannon had another kid. Another kid and he's shameless. He's doing a fucking gender reveal. I'm like, I would be like, yeah, I got another kid.

I like one. Anybody, Eastwood, anyone gets into that double digit kid thing from a different array of women throughout multiple decades. I'm getting warm. I'm starting to watch. I'm gonna start boiling fucking hot. This is my new house. Dana's first time in it and he likes it. He said, if you ever want to take a nice stroll

with a girl, just take it out of the way. Oh, you say, let's go for a long walk. Do we have to leave the interior of the house? No, we're going for a five-mile. I got lost three times here in 20 minutes. I was just wandering upstairs and I did rifle through some personal items. I rifled through your drawers.

Is that the only time human beings use a word rifle? I think so. Other rifle. Yeah, but I rifled through your drawers and saw some personalized. Yeah, you know, Dana, we couldn't find you and I turned on your phone and that's how we found him I statue of yourself you made the loin cloth was a nice touch is it bronze?

Anyway, David's Bay How many Instagram followers just throw it out there, you know, it's sort of bombing now. I'm more on tick-tock Look me up. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock, it's so gross, but I'm on it. I'm too old. I don't know nothing about no TikTok.

I like when there was three channels. How about my neighbors hate me? And they just made a thing where they went to the city and made sure we couldn't. Yeah, they have a parking permit. And only in front of my house. Really? They fucked me. Yeah, what are they?

Well, I've been a neighbor for six weeks. I'm like, how much do you hate me within seconds to go to the city council? This guy is the worst. She's the one who said, he's giving my dog diarrhea. I'm like, he shares me. How the dog after hearing it goes. That's what you get for buying a house on vendetta place.

I pick a different address cowboy. Anyway, doesn't even make sense. That's what I get for buying a house on vendetta place? Pick a different address cowboy. Anyway, doesn't even make sense. That's what I'm saying. That kind of did. Look, John Lovitz. Can you do it? What's your best impression? John Lovitz.

Everyone's got one, because he's so impressed. I got one. He says, I made him say this word on one of my Instagram stories. Baldur Dash. But he can say it so much better. He gets you good boys. Baldur Dash. Yeah, it's a little May West, actually.

Hello, ladies. We hear about John and Dana. We won't say, but we will ask about a movie. You guys were both going to do a well-known movie. Oh, they don't mind saying it, bad boys. I'm saying we're not gonna say it. I don't, he makes John. Why do they keep bringing it up?

Why not? It's funny. Dude, I turned down home alone because I was 28. And I could read, I could play seven, but McCulley called and got it. I saw him at the final callback, so I go, oh, they're going way young. I turned down Yoda.

The original star was. I said, no, no, do my journey. No, because he did it that way. You did it regular, like, oh, not try, do. And then you say, you oughta go in and do that. And you go, oh, we're doing a weird voice. Let me go in again. Let me try to get it.

First comes fire in the wall. Then comes money. Then comes lady. Let me in the back. Yes, no? No, try it. Hey, y'all, could you stop making these cryptic lists? First come pain.

It's like Billy Bob Thornton and Slim Bly. I would, I would ask Yoda about Bitcoin's back then and said, Yoda, fucking take care of your panel. What's the story with them? And then tell me about the Death Star, whatever bullshit. I'm starting a currency, I was asked you to join in. It's called cryptic currency. It's very sort of scary. Oh, okay. Cryptic currency. Oh, I backed a lot, you to join in. It's called cryptic currency. It's very sort of scary.

Oh, okay. Cryptic currency. All right. Back to love. It's back to love. It's speaking of John love it. We'll let him tell you the story of his life because when you have love, it's on. Have a nice listen. I used to say that about having lunch with Lord Michaels because Lauren's a brilliant talker. Um, John Loveitz, he hates this, is so naturally funny. I'm not naturally funny. It's the way it's my acting and my writing. No, he's got a funny bone. Like, there's people in comedy just have a funny bone. He is no matter what we say.

No matter what we say. No matter what anybody says. No, anyone says he's funny. He's good actor and all that stuff, but he said. No, no, no, no, no. What anybody says, he's funny. He's good actor and all that stuff, but he just has a funny way about him, which is, you know, you can't teach that. Well, John, John loves to tease. And so if you just go and you're having a conversation

with him, he'll start getting you defensive. You don't even know it. What, what do you want, what? You didn't want to come to the lunch. You just came because you felt pressure. He'll just say that out of the blue. defensive you don't even know what what do you why what you didn't want to come to the lunch you just came because you felt pressure he'll just say that out of the blue so you go no I didn't then you start coming back at him you know last time he saw me as a must thank us my cause blue jealous I think I get a blue car can you I know he was at the next game in New York and he was sitting

on the court for the first time on his live y'all. My feeder on the wood. Jealous? Lauren said that to me. He said someone said I was the most naturally funny person on S. Now I said you think I'm the most the funniest person that ever did at Synalios. No naturally. John love it. Ladies and gentlemen. How are you? How do I Now I said you think I'm the most the funniest person that ever did it so now he goes no naturally John Love it. So ladies and gentlemen. How are you now? How do I know you two? I'm at John at the beach house. Oh, that's right. You guys shared the beach house No, Gervets and love us share beach house on Malibu and for people that don't know

That's where we go and jump in the water. I'd go with Chris, I think, and Farley. And then one time that's right. Brad Pitt was there sometimes, right? That was exciting. So we're talking the 80s Malibu 90s? No. 90s.

Sorry. 90s Malibu Beach House, which I went to. Yeah. The three of us have been friends for years for those of you listening. And our still friends. That's where sweet Chris Farley, like I'm out on the patio and then,

and John talking to John. Chris came out totally naked, but with suds all over him, like soap, like all suds, That's great story. That's a great story, Dan. Yeah, I saw it. So you must have done it more than once. I know, but it's funny.

Hey, John, what about when there was a Malibu fires in there? Chris was at the beach. Yeah, I remember David, you called him and said, you go where he goes, I'm at the beach, you go, it's nice, but it's really cloudy. And David goes, you idiot. Those aren't clouds. There's a fire. It's smoke.

It has no idea. It was like Tommy boy, but in real life. And the hill across the street was on fire. Literally, the hill across the street. And then, and then it ended up happening. And then you put this in your pockets. But the five guards down at House burnt down, and they re-belted it.

And that was the House, David, that you, oh, that's when I bought that burn down. Oh my God. That house burned down and that fire. Yeah. Wow. They rebuilt it. It was all wood. And they rebuilt the same, but like, I guess, whatever it was, stuck or cement, I was never invited, even though I invited you to mine. Why does why you said something a minute ago, John, that made me laugh, but I don't know if it was just sort of a off-hand comment of seriously calling your friend an idiot,

kind of like the three stooages, is it, is, no you idiot, those are clouds. Does any adult male just go, no you idiot? No, that's what David said to Farley. But the David really said, no you idiot. I think so, yeah. I mean, no, because that's how we would talk and that turned into this. It just sounds like the three stooages. And then it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal.

And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal.

And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal.

And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. And it's not a big deal. Listen to me you fool. I will tell you when I got to SNL, Love It was there and I was a fan and I knew Dana a little bit, I knew Kevin a little bit and then Love It's I just seen on the show and we talked over I think where you have dinner in that little area and you were light in the show so we got a chance to talk but you weren't usually light in the show.

And Joe was light in the show. we got a chance to talk but you weren't usually light in the show. Joe's light in the show. But he never was. But then we talk because I was saying I have to write now and no one tells you how to write. You know, you just get a yellow pad and a wooden desk and a pen. And so I said, I'll write you something. And you said, yeah, okay. And so I wrote you a sketch about a guy who's a mad scientist that turns into a pufferfish.

So he, when he gets mad, he turns into a pufferfish. And, and I wrote it, and then it was probably 17 pages and five different sets. And then the, I don't, I don't think she make her put it in reeds or because I have no memory of them. It was, yeah, I don't think we did it because it was so funny. It sounds funny. I like the premise. It's weird because I realized, you know, this is your guys podcast, but the reality is you both look up to me because I was on the show before both of you. True.

That actually is true. I've never seen John in the 85 season and he immediately stood out to me, your presence and your voice with Master, this guy, Master, sorry, Master, Freudian slip, it's on, it's on live streaming, everyone kids. John did Master, Thesbian and the liar, and they were just so potent characters and so different than anything that had been on the show. Don't you think John and me, they were eccentric?

Thank you. Well, you know what happened? I was in the growling theater and I did those characters. And then I never forget I got Saturday Night Live, which I now people go to the growling to try to get on us now. I never thought I'd be on it in a million years. I just wanted to get in the company and get seen and get work. And on the ninth floor, you know,

was the up the bleachers seats. So I was up there and right at the entrance on the right was a glass case. And it had like John, like a mannequin, John Belushi's bee costume. And next to that was Eddie Murphy's Gumbee costume with a life-and-scarf Eddie Murphy. And I remember looking at that going, oh my god, I go, I can't do what they did.

You know, they were huge, you know, icons. I'm like, and I just thought, what am I going to do? And I go, well, I guess I'll just be funny the way I'm funny and either it'll work or this is the end of the road. And it didn't work. And it, no, it didn't work. Yeah. Now, the pop-up or stuff could have really, but actually, by the time I got to work, it exceeded anyone's expectations. John, you were a huge from,

what were the big ones at that point? You already did a liar, right? When you came on, but when I first, when I got the show Dina mine it was a producer and she goes here's who we think it's gonna break out on The show and you weren't on the list No really The Dan you walked away when I got the show Dina mine it was the British shows John Here's who we think it's gonna break out. Joan Q. Sack Robert Danny Jr. Terry Sweeney Randy

Someone out so she's telling you say my name. I go, you know I'm on the show, right? No, I was the last guy they expected. They didn't expect me to be the guy that broke out. And Dino Mine out was one of them, a producer on the show for several years. She's great. El show, por muchos años, es muy grande. But I want to go back to the growlings for a second, because we've talked about this on other podcasts. You have a way of making your voice incredibly loud. Like really, so who else could have done Master Thesbian? Because that seems to be just, er, it's coming from, I mean, most of just... I was in college and I had a Shakespeare professor, William Needles, who was a great, he was like the, the, the, the movie professor chips, where they all loved their professor.

He was like that to all the students. And he was great to me. I saw his improv group, pins and needles. No, pins and needles. The coconut, yes. He was in the Stratford Festival in Canada. He was like, he mentored people like Maggie Smith, the great actress.

Oh, he's She's credits him. Anyways, we came to Irvine to teach us, you see Irvine as a drama major to teach us Shakespeare. And he did it the first time I'd never heard it in person, and really at all, and he said, now I'm going to do some Shakespeare for you. And then his voice completely changed. He went, oh, for him he was a fire,

but we were just saying that the brightest tabin of invention. And I heard that, I was like, he was a fire that we were just saying that the brightest heaven of invention and I heard that What the fuck is that? I never heard it I could just somehow imitate him Right, I like actors with those booming voices like him and John Barrymore and John Caridine if you see him in the Ten Commandments. Oh, yeah, you hear his voice booming off the soundstage It's so loud and so I was just somehow able to do it. I don't know how, I think also for my father,

he would yell a lot and I picked it up from him. Stop it! It all goes back to all of our dads were a little crazy. Yeah. You got to have a crazy dad to be a comedian basically. Yeah, I think, yeah. And, but I just love the Lawrence Olivier. Just I like that theater. It was bigger than life, but theatrical. That's what, you know,

so like Peter O'Toole's like that, you know, he's real, but he's so dynamic and theatrical that it's, it's thrilling, you know, that's the kind of performance I like. Nicholas Cage would talk about that too. Well, I, give me an example of a performance like that in Montertimes that Dana you love is real, but theatrical and bigger than life. And yet real was the Al Pacino scar face, right? Whoa. Why do you tell you about, man?

Churano, why do you tell you about? Yeah, no, it was. It was operatic. And the whole film was operatic. And so it was very bigger than life. But the, it's, I believe unless I misheard this that Al Pacino says that's his favorite role, even though some critics had an issue with it. But I think it's kind of brilliant.

I've actually gotten to meet him when I told him that how much you love it and you imitate it. And he goes, people come up to me with lines that aren't, from that movie, they don't even like the catchphrase lines and he goes, and they repeat them to me. Look at it a little burry,

the burry's gonna fly, I'm out. Sego, bat, Toro, bad guy. All of it is musical. To me,

it's like the Beatles or something. Yeah, brilliant. I'm in Alpuchino and he was talking about all my stuff so much I never even got around the Scarface. Anyway, go ahead. Oh, I'm in Al Pacino and he was talking about all my stuff so much I never even got around the Scarface anyway good Oh I'm looking for Very handsome cowboy man. I've seen it

He was also in once upon a time in Hollywood, which is another one of my current favorites Do that line again. Is that for it? We've talking about Brad Pitt. Yeah, he's coming to the bar Gina Gina Gina the woman in the mystic light light I'm looking for a very handsome cowboy man Yeah, I try yeah, let's face it man. I'm a god damn him spin what that guy say to you since we'll go do some Italian Westerns don't cry in front of the Mexicans. I'm just quoting the movie. Is that Brad? That's a good Brad. Brad Pitt. Oh yeah, my wife and I quote him all the time. It's a good plan. When he has to fire him, I'm sorry.

I'm gonna have to let you go. I don't think I can afford to keep you. I think that's a good plan. I try. It's funny because you mentioned the beach house and all of us were friends and Cynthia, a pet Brad's manager ran into the house next door. Brad was always there.

And it's fun to see like, you know, no, I mean, Brad, Cynthia Petbred's manager said, Hey, I have a client. Can you say hi to you? He's a big fan. What's the name? Brad Pitt. I go, Okay. And I had to look at what's his name again. She was Brad. I go, Hey, Brad, hey, I didn't know what it heard of them. We later, you had a tattoo of him. No, but it's funny. It's fun that you, you know, you guys are known now.

But I met with David. It was, I remember the first time I saw David Dana. You brought me to see him at a club and you said he's kind of a, he's really, he's really, why don't you say he's funny? No, yeah, but he's like, he really looks up to, he'd, Dennis Miller and I. He kinda looked like that. We were kind of his mom and dad.

I remember I saw David, I was like, oh my God, he's a total mix of, you didn't have, I don't think he'd found your voice yet. Yeah, that's true. Those guys I really like, and I think at the beginning, you, you, you are styles of the people you like the most, and then it just turns into a zone. And then I knew, because someone's,

Sandler goes, I saw this guy, and he reminded me of you, I go, oh, he goes, he's biting a lot of your shit, I go, oh, I'm at the point where someone's doing it like me, I like that, better. Nice. Yes. Now, you guys were great, that's why, and we got, and SNL was, we, oh, I had a better. Nice. Yes. Now you guys were great. That's why and we got, and SNL was a, we, oh I had a question for you.

You guys did, wait, no, I'll go back. We did Coneheads together. That was one of the first movies, John. What did you do in Coneheads? Because there's a million cameos. In Coneheads? Yeah, were you in Coneheads? Yeah, I was the, oh yeah, I thought you said Coneheads.

I was the, the dentist. Oh, he said cone and cone heads. I was the the dentist. Oh, that's right when his mouth opens really big. Yeah, it's open to you. Oh, that's right. It goes like four feet. Yeah. Yeah, and I kind of, I kind of played it like my, like a doctor. I played it and then I made up a thing that I for the,

the, the nurse in it. It wasn't in the script. I said, let's just pretend that we're like having a fight, but we're trying to cover it up. That's a good choice. I just had a lot to the scene right go. The director they got, I think, because he directed the take on me video. And he did that. He left. It's like black and white.

And it looks like someone sketched it and the guy jumps out of it. That was such a big video Steve Barron. I think they got him to direct Conan. I don't know if he's like a huge comedy director, but he had me you Sandler. Farley was in it, yeah. Farley, Ellen DeGeneres, Sinbad Phil.

Oh Drew Carey. My friend of mine was in it, because he's friends with Dan Eckhart, Mitchell Bobro, and Mitchell was like, in the 60s, he was the world karate champion. You've heard the best Taekwondo karate guy of the 60s. He was better than Chuck Norse, and he was very close friends with Bruce Lee, but I'm

still a friend of mine. He's a really nice guy. He was in Conehads, but working with Dan Acquid was the best because he used to be on the show. And I remember, well, Dan, I don't know if you remember David, but when Dan Acquid came to the show and he did Bob Dole, And then he took all of us out to dinner at the Hard Rock F A and he gave us these Hard Rock F A jackets.

And we were all like dead broke. And I was sitting next to Jan Hooks and she goes, who is this guy? Because he was just so nice. And he treated us so great. And I love man, I got to play a brother in a movie. My stepmother's nailing years in 88. But yeah, when those guys came to the show,

it was just so thrilling. Oh, it was so crazy when Dan Acquired Walker and How are you? Yeah, you're doing good stuff here. Yeah, you guys are doing great job. You know what, do you guys remember this? It's just a pain in the scene when you're on Saturday Live? Just weird things happen. Like one time I just walked into Lauren's office

on the ninth floor and Mick Jagger was sitting there. Ooh, you know, it's the ninth floor and Mick Jagger was sitting there. Ooh. You know, it's like, oh, Mick Jagger, or when there's a host, the host is down the, on the, what floor, eighth floor, whatever. The host is down there waiting. They're like, Charlton Heston would like to meet you. And you're kind of nervous, like you're walking to meet this celebrity you've known your whole life.

It was interesting, right? Yeah. you're walking to meet this celebrity you've known your whole life. It was interesting, right? To me, my first year on the show, Jerry Hall was hosting with Mick Jagger's girlfriend, and she had an idea for a sketch, and I didn't realize it was her way of getting back at Mick for lying to her, but it was with my liar character. It's about full of her hair. I'm a hoon Saturday. That's more. Lawrence says, Hey, John, Mick Jaggerger to the studio can you go down stairs and show

him how to do the your liar character I go okay and I go down there and I meet him and I'm saying well anyway I do this character and in my head I'm like oh my god this is crazy I'm explaining Mick Jagger how I do this oh my god I'm older than this I took between a friend of mine and I you know Lisa and I know it's surreal right. I'm explaining the Mick Jagger And he goes how to yeah, that's that's the ticket I mean could he do it? I mean was it? We don't yeah on the air and if you saw this now you'd go you'd look at it and go John is that you were your son anyway, and I was so skinny and then the

Jerry high at all right at a bar and I'm hitting on her. And she mentions the stones. She was, oh, you know, Mick Jagger. And oh, yeah, I go, we were in Vietnam together. Whitney Brown wrote the sketch. Whitney Brown. And then it comes in and he goes, yeah, I know, Tommy. And I go, yeah, you were fishing.

And I go, big, little bit. We start lying in them. About a year later, she called up the show and invited Dennis Miller and I and Nora over to their house out of the blue. And we couldn't find Nora. So Dennis Miller and I went and we're in their living room and Mick Jagger goes, oh, I know that liar thing is now.

I didn't then. And Dennis and I did a cross in their living room. There was a mirror above the couch where Mick and Jerry Horace and Dennis and I are eyes caught in the mirror. And afterward we went outside of Dennis. Were you thinking what I was thinking? Just now I go, yeah, we both think, you're in a half a go, we're like dead broke.

And now we're sitting in Mick Jagger's living room in his house in New York. Stop like that. I know you get just a set to scene for people listening. It's just you're kind of usually when you get cast on SNL, you're unknown, you're just fledgling. And then you're on live TV, and then you're meeting all these celebrities.

You remember the night you, me and Dennis went into the Columbus Cafe, sitting in the back was Mick Jagger and David Bowie. We hung out with them for a while, and then Bowie wanted to hang out. So he wanted to go dancing and we're like, yeah, so we're hanging out with Bowie, and he showed us that move where you plant your left foot.

You do a spin. Because they're dancing with David Bowie. And that was, I'd been on the show like four months or something. It was like crazy. Yeah. Just to set the scene for those of you, Dana isn't wearing any of these.

Because people are, okay. Go ahead I'm not doing a tubing You to be to be well look I noticed what Howard Stern interviews people he kind of reorientates things because we get ahead of ourselves So David did you have a favorite celebrity that your first what you went on Like what was your first? I remember coming on, I think the first I did four shows before the something.

It was Corbin Bernsen, Al Baldwin, Dice Clay and Candy Bergen. And oh, so you were there. I remember all of them, yeah. I remember Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al and Al It's all very nice. And Alec Baldwin, that Monday meeting, you hear he's there. They go, everyone's gonna meet the host. You really don't know how it works. And I go cram in that room.

And he's sitting there in a black turd, like with black hair combed back and blue eyes. And I'm like, this guy's a fucking stud. Like some people you go and he's like, how's it going? And then you go, oh, that's a movie star. They screen the movie for you. So I just see Hunter, like, I'm like, walk out, come to work. And then they're all, you know, he's a movie star. They screen the movie for you. So I just see Hunter Electrover walk out, come to work,

and then they're all, you know, he's right there, and Sharon Stone, he was a movie star. Some people, I in my head, I thought, that's a star. And some people I thought, it sounds mean, but I go, they got nothing. Like, I have to read through, I go, I go, it's kind, you know what I mean? I go, it's kind of, they got the right place,

the right time, nothing wrong with it, but just they got nothing. And here's the list of those people now. I'm kidding Well, I remember when when we did the show in the first five years you had to be a Major major movie star and then once in a while that I've somebody from television like Ted dancing hosted But he was the number one show or yeah Remember we had athletes, but they had to be like superstar with Wayne Gretzky and then Joe Montana and Walter Payton. Yeah. You know, but you had to be that show goes in lulls. I mean one of my years. One of my years the host went from the first

lead of like a TV show to like the second lead. You know what I mean? Sometimes they book people and I'm like Dana and Mike are bigger stars than the host. You know what I mean? Sometimes they book people and I'm like, Dana and Mike are bigger stars than the host. You know what I mean? You're going, this person coming in here, I think it's we're missing the mark a little bit now because everyone's getting so big on the show, it was hard to be more famous than Dana. I had to keep acting like humble and like, oh, I'm nothing, you're the big thing. I was star stock. Not you. But next to me, he was just, John, can I, can I enter?

What are you doing? Bye, bye. Can I interject a memory? Because I think it was so funny back to Alec Baldwin, being two things about Alec Baldwin. First time he hosted, he goes, I want to do this. I go, he goes, you think I want to be on a fucking submarine, go I, I, sir?

Like, he didn't want to be in those corporate movies. He wanted to be a sketch player. And then Victoria, because of his crazy blue eyes, and he was incredibly, is incredibly handsome. She goes, I'm not going to do it. Not this week. I'm not going to do it. I go, what?

I'm not going to fall in love with him. I'm not going to fuck. And then, and then by Friday, she go, I lost. I fell in love with the begin. If she sees the eyes, if he locks eyes with her, she falls in love. If he pays attention, he one time he was doing a deniro, and I think it was for update, and we were behind the stage, you know, live show. And you know, people do this sometimes like, he was getting pumped up, and then he dropped a bit of all 15 pushups right before it right before they came back because he wanted to

get a pump and go out there and look there. And I love it. I go, that's the shit I love to see. Something I would maybe not. I don't know. And then he became a great sketch player, you know, on that show. So he did it. He was great.

Sharon Stone had like a star thing, beautiful stunning comes in. Like basically the ginger music from Gilligan's Island, so when she walks in, it's like, we go, oh my god. And I just don't police account before with her. And I had a, did you guys have any, sorry, did I interrupt that? I just had no, I was starting the bomb. This is one of those things that,

tell me if you've had an experience like this. So Chris Everett was the host. And somehow, I don't remember, but we had a scene where we jump on a bed together and we kinda make out, I believe it or not. And so that happened and she came up and she was blushing and we never really talked about it, it was nothing. It was just pretending.

So I'm doing a stand-up date in Hawaii Right before the pen two years ago. I come out. It's it. It's a big giant There's like maybe 500 people out there at nine. I'm coming out. She's in the front row and she goes You made out with me on a bed and it was 30 years later Any other kicked out because she's a heckler. And then Victoria Jackson was there again. I'm not going to do it this week. I'm not going to fall in love. I'm not going to leave you out the host.

They're there for a week, but it's such an intense experience that they never forget. Like they feel close to you years later. Totally. You never forget you. It's only a week. It's been a kissing. I do. It's only a week. It's being a kissing. Do you remember Alex first?

He got up for an Emmy for that first show, but remember Green Hilly, the sketch, I think it was Jack Handy where he's like in a sopra and they look and the music comes up and he starts kissing Jan. And then he goes over here and the music comes up and starts kissing the maid. And then he looks over and there's like a puppet in the window and he starts making Jan, and then he goes over here and the music comes up and starts kissing the maid. And then he looks over and there's like a puppet

in the window and he starts making out with a puppet. That's called Green Hilli anyway, you guys. Thanks for the deep dive. I don't even know if you guys were there. You guys are in the break room. So John, you get on the show and who were the hosts that first season? You were on.

Oh boy. That you remember. The very first host was Madonna. Oh boy. Was Madonna. And she was there for two weeks. Shut up. What do you mean?

She came a week early. And so the first thing I ever did on this show was a short film that I think George Meyer wrote it and where I'm we're in Central Park and the scene, well she's supposed to be driving in the country and she keeps hearing a sound in her from the under her the hood of her car and when she opens up her hood I jump out and attack her and that was the first thing I ever I did and I remember doing that and and she was dating Sean Penn at the time when he was watching and I'm like, oh, God, he's not gonna like this. Me jumping all over his girlfriend and but she was really nice and and I ended up that's that you know, I ended up I

worked with her again, of course in a league of their own and She worked her she worked so hard, you know, people go who's successful? I go other two people I do the most successful. I go, well, the two people, two of the most successful people I know are Madonna and Adam Sandler. And they also work harder than they just, that's all they do all day, every day. They just, they're, you know, they're unbelievable. We just never stop.

And she was the host. I remember Danny DeVito, that was fun. No, that was later. I mean, my first year, oh, Paul Simon. I, I I had a, I remember having a sketch with him and I met him and I'm born, born's best best friend. And so we all got to see Paul at parties and get to know Paul Simon, which was really cool. He was very nice. Hey Paul. And, um, who, I'm trying to think God, there was, oh, Terry Garne, Tom H Tom Hanks mm-hmm and I ended up becoming friends with both of them.

Hey did you did you meet Tom Hanks there or on big? I'm no I met him on no I met him on when he hosted SNL and he goes we went we went to lunch and then he goes you want to lunch yes we went he goes and what I first made was I think you know my girlfriend, who's your girlfriend is Rita Wilson. They go, oh Rita, of course I know Rita. And she was, she was friends with Robin, Robin Schiff, her, Roman and Michelle's, the movie. Yeah. And, but yeah. And, and Robin was in the ground. I was friends with Robin and the ground and we were in the group together and she was friends with Rita's, right? I'd met Rita before Tom met her.

And I remember one time she came by, she was like, well, nice to meet her. What are you doing? I got this movie with John Candy and Tom Hanks called Volunteers and we're gonna go shoot it. And they all went so great. Is that where they met? Yeah.

And, hmm. Is there anything? Oh, oh. So, but basically, I don't know if it's 1985. Hey, John, to set the scene for our listeners. You're still not wearing pants. John's still not wearing pants. John gets on Saturday live in one of a rebuilding year.

Let's just put it that way. No, it was, no, it was, it was the first, yeah, but it was the first year that Lauren had come back after being a 5 years and before you it was Martin short Billy crystal Christopher guests year right that was successful and then they brought in Randy quayton other people like that that were known Yeah, Anthony Michael Hall he was 17 Robert Downey Jr. He was And then he made Anthony Michael Hall. He was 17 Robert Downey Jr. He was 20, Karen Meeney, very funny guy. To Neat Your Vance, God bless your soul.

Great, great. John Q. Sack, Dennis Miller, and Nora Dunn. And so tell me what your mind. First of all, you're on the show. Did the show, was it immediately a little shaky? I mean, when did they get a sense of like this wasn't jelly? Because that- No, no, what happened was the cast did gel.

That's the thing, you go, how can people that talented not gel? Well, we did, but it was, after the third, like after the second show, I did the liar character, my second show. There's 20 shows in this season. And then Robert Smigel you know who you all know I was a writer in his first year in the show he said John this and does triumphed in

self-dog to set the scene for those for this thing for those you're listening Robert Smigel is a friend of ours hey this electrician that works at NBC was just in Lawrence office and he said that liar things the funniest thing I've seen in years. So, Lawrence goes, really? So, then Lawrence said, we're going to do the liar again, why don't you write it with A Whitney Brown? And thank God, because I didn't know what to do with the character after that. So, I always give Whitney 50% credit after that. We wrote it together and he really helped me expand the character. And I learned a lot about writing jokes from Whitney. It was great. From San Francisco, I did stand up with him for years. Yeah, and so we did it, but this article came out, I remember in TV guide, and it was already

our 11th show, and it goes Saturday Night Dead, and so good. And the guys are viewing the first three shows. He wasn't mentioning the fact that the whole country, by this point point was imitating my liar character And there'd been a lot of sketches that were funny and um So it wasn't it wasn't a total disaster, but it got slammed so much So the last show I didn't know if I was coming back. I didn't know who was they well that would just tell people about the fire I am yeah, so so the last show they decided will just like make fun of ourselves so and jellica Houston was the host.

And then we had it was like special, special guest, our Billy Martin. It was the manager of the Yankees, a really nice, very soft spoke, but he was known as a real hothead. Two. So anyway, the sketch was that Billy, Billy was mad that he wasn't in the show more. So he set the studio on fire And so that was the sketch and so Lauren is sending everybody into the room where the fire is then I come along goes no no John don't oh yeah all the writers were there and he said but all the all you writers go into that room And then I went in he was no John John Wait downstairs to me my limo. All right

and then at the end of the show, they rolled the credits and I had a question mark after everybody's name and everybody's like in a fire screaming. And I'm watching that live. Yeah, and I remember Terry sweetie the day before was like, he didn't like the sketch. And I go, and I said, Terry, it's not a real fire. It's a sketch, it's not real. and then I thought about it and I go well

What if I was the one being sent into the fire and you would a cry? I get why you said but nobody knew who was coming back and then they said we want people that You work well with and I recommended Phil Hartman Timstack Lin Stewart and Tres McNeil from the groundlings and so they did you recommend me or David? I didn't know either of you, but I do remember. But still. Our manager Bernie Brilstein and Brad Gray and when Phil and I met you, Dana in the office, and we didn't know you, but we met you for the first time. And then when you left, Phil and I go, oh, we hope that guy gets the show. He's so nice. You're welcome.

Yes. The late grade Phil Hartman and and you it was funny because I was you know I was an all of the whole thing and I'm in New York and I'm just hanging out with you guys and you guys knew each other very well So you guys would often do gangster voices back and forth, right? Hey, how you doing? Right, we loved old movies from the 40s. Why have a two-cent size? Yeah, what would you do for a nickel just cross that line? You wish I had Why for two cents I said, yeah, what would you do for a nickel just cross that line? You wish I hadn't You can see us doing that in his audition She said to me Dana. Why did they always talk like that? Do they do other things? Maybe I miss her Coming into my office and going hey go let's write something together and I'm like well, what are you doing?

Because I'm gonna hitch by wagon to a winner which is. And I'm like, well, what are you doing? Because I'm going to hitch by wagon to a winner, which is a, and I'm like, what are you talking about? I think handy wrote a sketch with Phil and Dana where Dana was a young punk. I could have played it. And, and then, um, and you, you take a hostage, a mean Matt Pied might repeat it to this day where he goes, come on, Johnny, relax, Johnny. No one's going to hurt you, Johnny. Yeah, I love it. Anything with Johnny, don't be scared Johnny, I got you a best way. Well, you finally get a sketch and black and white, a spoof at the front page, and I don't remember much about it, but we're all talking like the 40s, but I remember Dana,

you're like, you're like, I oughta, why I oughta pound you. That was in Lauren thought that might be the next catch phrase, because I used to do it my stand up in the 40s movies Why I oughta pound you so I wrote my part I did it three times and Lauren thought maybe that's the next thing We should do another pound you Count you guy David did you have a catch phrase when you came in or you develop catch phrases later? David, did you have a catchphrase when you came in or you develop catchphrases later? Lauren goes, I got one for you. You're fired. And I go, is that a catchphrase?

No, I meant, I'm sorry to say it funny. You're fired. Well, you had bubbi, bubbi later in the end. Oh, bubbi and then the only first thing I got that caught on was that reception is going in. You are. And that was the first time I did a sketch that was like an attitude instead of just jokes. Like, I would do jokes on update from my actor jokes, I'd go into a concert and then just

jokes about when you're at a concert now hard at this, having a younger attitude of like, you know, I go to concerts and I drink. And then Conan was like, you should try to do it. I always tell him is, I don't know if he remembers. Do more of a concept. I didn't know what that meant for a script because it doesn't have to be this joke joke. And then when I was Patrick Swayze was the host and his handler was waiting by the writers, he was on 17 and it was empty and he was in there.

And you know, you're supposed to have access to the host and I walk and I start to go in to talk to him and she stops me and goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, can I help you? And I go, oh, I just want to talk to Patrick. She goes, and you are? And I go, I'm a writer. And she gets, and this is regarding. And I go, oh, I just want to write a sketch. She goes, it's really crazy right now.

Maybe you can come back later. And I go, isn't he just sitting there reading people magazine? And then she goes, yeah, it's just really tricky right now. And so I walked away. And then when I went to LA, it happened me again. And I go, you know what, there's something funny about that. I just don't know if it's a sketch or how to formulate. I think I would own her or those guys and say, how do you help me put this together? And it was a five to one sketch of MC Hammer. And then the next

time it was of opening sketch. I remember that because I've been on a few years and I was really doing well on the show. So I would kind of tease the writers like, because I had a part in that, and you are. And in front of MC Hammer, I said to Smogler, somebody go, what do you want? You want a big laugh here? You want an applause break? What do you need?

And MC Hammer laughs so hard. He loved the idea of me being that cocky. What do you want? You want a double laugh, a little laugh, then a big laugh, and then another applause break? Anyway, our guest today is John Loveitz. Now, John, can I... No, wait, I want to say it's weird that you said Conan said to do that because the year before forever, they wouldn't let me do it. I had a sketch. My all my characters are arrogant idiots. So it was the richest man in the world, but he's an idiot. And so, so he's like, of course, I have, there's like a bored room of guy in suits and they go,

they go, well, I'm off to Safari. He goodbye, everybody goodbye, right? And then learns, and I kept trying to get along and goes, you can't do a whole sketch, just say goodbye, everybody, goodbye. And then I snuck it in and then I snuck it in and tails of ribotry at the end. I did everybody go by and the whole room cheer. Then the next year I see David going, but by I'm like, hello. And then I see Conan going, John, he just wanted to say goodbye. Everybody goodbye. There was no character. No, it was Mr. Can be the richest man in the world.

And he was and then goes, it was and he was an idiot, but he just was lucky. So they go, where are you going? Because I'm going on safari. They go, what do we do by your gun? I go, I don't know, buy Kit Kat. So I leave the room and then fill in and Whitney are talking about Kit Kat. What a moron you go. Yeah, buy a, buy Kit Kat, you know, and Phil hangs up the phone. No, Whitney goes, yeah, buy a, you know, 100 shares of Kit Kat. And there's some, they're going, he's such an idiot. And then the phone rings and Phil goes, hello, what? You're kidding.

What? KitKat just went up 300 million. I remember this, KitKat. And then you go, come back in. And then I come back in and go, hello everybody. I forgot my wallet. And then go, you go, Mr. Kent and KitKat just went up 300 million. I go, well, you see, buy what you love and you can't go wrong.

And Lauren fell out laughing at that. Well, Lauren's a great investor. He wouldn't hurt her on. He wouldn't do it. And then you got to buy. Oh, it never got on because I thought it was funny. I could buy everybody. If I, it's like the thing, the thing, you do these nonsensical rhythms that make me laugh.

One thing you do, I've seen you and you stand up, you go, hello, something like, what a night, what a town, what a volume, what is this? And then you at the end, you go, have you seen the town? What a town, what a crowd, and have you seen the town? Yeah, see that is so silly and doesn't even make sense, but it makes me laugh so hard. Have you seen the town?

It just makes, I like madness, but you got, but by, you got, go by, very good by, and I had, I got to, got to, got to go with the funny, yeah, I got to, get to, get to, get to, get to, get to, get to, funny little, Mr. Funny little poopy hat, I got to, got to, got to go. That was my, I was gonna say this.

What was the point of that sketch anyway? Well, I thought it might work. Jan, Jan, the late great Jan Hooks played, Mrs. Funny little poopy hat, it was so I could get more'm a lot I'm a going with and I'm a going with them I love it Lauren would read the stage direction and in our read-throughs and so what I did in the stage direction I had Lauren I made Lauren say funny little Puppy had like 300 times funny little Puppy had shit down No, I knew but I knew you told me and I couldn't. I was crying last. Funny little poopy had just made you find a catchphrase on our show. I was making funny catchphrase. I didn't learn new what I was doing, you know, but you

didn't know about the funny little poopy. But Lauren has this regal kind of, you know, super smart, funny way of speaking. So to make him say something so stupid, anyway. So, John love it. So it was one of the funniest things ever. This is a two part of this is for Dana and John. Oh, God, this isn't Dana's interview. This is mine, but go ahead. For those of you who are just joining us,

this is at the scene. Dana's not wearing a underwear. David Spade is drunk. And I... No one has combed their hair. I'm having sex with my dog. I think everyone, I think it was a very interesting story to hear, even if it's a short one,

that the movie Bad Boys was for you guys, with Will Smith and Marlowe. And it was... Yeah, I think it's... I don't think that many people know that I think it's unreal is that the year you did the American Express commercial in the Super Bowl Was a few years after that we did that in like 89 or 90 John and I got offered in American Express commercial And that was the first year they kept track of them and our our I didn't even think of as that could but it came out number one on the ad meter for some reason for the Super Bowl we were ranked number one.

That was amazing. Yeah. I remember we shot at Miami New York was so freezing we get to Miami it was so warm it was so nice. You're like there's a movie here. Let's do bad boy. And then the commercial was Amber Smith the she became like a sports illustrated model but she's a Gorge.

Oh she wasn't 15. Oh forget it. As Amber Smith, she became like a sports illustrated model, but she's a good time. She's a good time. Oh, she wasn't. 15? I'll forget it. So, wait, so that's, but so they saw you two are funny together and then Brockheimer said maybe they... Well, they offered Dana the movie first and then I don't know. I then, then I got in.

I don't know. Yeah, I don't remember. It was, it was John, Dom Simpson and Jerry Brockheimer just wanted to develop something with us. And it was developed and I was just too busy. I didn't really, you know, there was so much stuff coming at me at that time, but I'm glad that Will Smith and Martin Lawrence did it and had a great hit with it. I love everybody. I think it's five sequels.

Five sequels. I can't. It made Will Smith the giant movie star, but hey. Yeah, that's true. Well, you also had Independence Day and others and he has a new book out now. I'm going to the first one. Yes. They always plug in Will Smith voice. Will Smith and Martin Martin.

Yeah, John Lovitz and Dana, I don't know why they turned it down. Oh God, fellas, let it go. 35 years ago. Okay, John, I have a movie question for you. You did a league of their own, obviously huge, huge city slickers, huge. Trapped and paradise you guys did pretty well. It was all right. I want to get back to about how in the new SNL,

like Kate McKinnon, I don't think it's been on the show this year. And I think you're allowed to come and go, is you please now, and you weren't allowed to do a movie. I wasn't allowed to leave the do movie. No, I want, I'm supposed to do a liar movie in my first year of the show and then with Lauren and then whatever, it didn't happen. Everyone has a different story why,

but it didn't happen and it was very disappointing. So five years later, I was gonna do a League of their own and This movie mom and dad saved the world over the summer and then back on SNL And I was like perfect because I'll be on the show with movies, you know Are you trying to go through here and it was a double whammy amazing thing? So anyway mom and dad say, didn't shoot that summer. And then mom and dad say, the world had to change their schedule.

And so they said they couldn't work around me. So I wanted, I would have had to miss the first two shows. And, uh, and Lawrence said, no, you can't miss shows. It's not fair to the others. I go, the others, I go, they don't care. They'll be thrilled if I'm not here. They'll be like, more airtime for me, you know, yeah, I go they don't care they'll be thrilled if I'm not here they'd be like more airtime for me You know, yeah, I haven't even met her

And I go well it wasn't you guys on the you know There's only eight of us and then Mike came in this last year for four years basically and so Anyway, I did decision to make and then I said I'm gonna leave then and then Lauren come here No, no, John. I don't you leave your very important part of the show. I go, well, Lauren, I don't want to leave. I go, I want, but this is opportunities now. My contract's up. Start me in two weeks or start me or or or don't pay me. I add them on to, you know, the end of the contract or I'll sign up for five more years. I like that you said you'd sign up for for another year or something. Yeah. No, they offered two more years. And to Dana and I, you know, they or oh, no, Dana had another year, but they yeah, they were by the, it was the same pay I think.

But but and and so it was good, you know, but you know, on hindsight, I should have said to them, I should have had to produce her. Michael Phillips called Lauren and go, hey, can you, you know, work it? And Lauren goes, well, that in his, he waslog, John, the pollution in echo, they would fly back and forth and do movies. And I said, I'm happy to do that, but they're saying no. And I go, since the other movie didn't happen, I was, can you let me take this opportunity, it's coming around again. And I don't know. He said, no, so I left. And he was mad at me for years that I left. And then the next year, Mike Myers was writing Wayne's world and Dana goes,

oh yeah, he just missed like 10 shows. I was like, 10. Did he miss 10 shows? Really? And then that year that I left, I would be in New York and now Frank would come and go, hey, you're in town. Can you be in a sketch? I go, okay. So I would do it. And then Dane, of course, would tease me. I don't know, I'm crazy. Maybe I just like being in front of 20 million people. Like, I'm nuts like that. And then I'd be on the show.

And then one time, Lauren says, oh, you could have missed shows. I go, what? Let me miss shows out of Binyard. Cause Lauren said, you can't miss them this year, but you can miss them the next year. I said, but I have the movie now. Maybe I don't know.

What's the difference? But anyway, I understood from his point of view, like, hey, they're hiring you because of this show. Yeah. Right? So don't forget that. And I didn't think of that, to be honest, and stupid. Well, things have changed.

It was the 90s. You weren't even supposed to really do commercials that was considered a sellout. And I'm glad to see SNL cast members doing a lot of ads while they're on the show. I'm envious and I also think it's great. No, we did it. We did the Super Bowl commercial.

And then the next year they hired Paul Newman from American Express, he came in third. So then they hired Paul Newman from American Express. He came in third. So then they hired us back the next year and we're at the writers room and Jim Downey, they had he's making fun of me like, oh, you did that commercial. I guess what did they pay you like, you know, $100,000? And I just looked and went, go try a house. And that was kind of a really quiet. A classy one offon-foot.

But we were dead broke when we got the show. You know what I mean? So any amount of money seemed like, I remember, to my first year in the show, I saved my checks. I went to the bank to deposit $5,000. And I got nauseated. Because it felt like so much money. Because the most I ever had in my bank account

in my life was a thousand dollars. Once in high school and once when I moved back home after college and saved my money without. Now, five thousand seems like forty six hundred to me. All right. We all had Dela Dena talk. We just set the scene. I'm funny.

David and Dana. Well, let's talk about, I mean, we had stand up, which is a baseline for your career in a way, financially, you know, it's like being, you can always go out and do stand up, which is a great, great thing to have. But the truth is, you know, I've said Lauren a million times, you know, thank you for giving me the life I've always dreamed of, and I can't believe I was on the show.

The whole time I was on Saturday Night Live, I couldn't say Saturday Night Live. I go, yeah, I'm on Saturday Night Live, I couldn't say Saturday Night Live. I knew, yeah, I'm on Saturday Night Live. I couldn't say live. I just, I never got over the fact that I was there and on it, but I loved it. And just talking about it, it's like I'm right back on it and every little detail pops him up in my head.

Very intense experience. I think we're all very thankful that everything really goes back to that. I mean, if you look at the percentages of the, I had a guy come look at my house to help me do and he goes, you have a lot of pictures of yourself. I go, well, most of those are like old coolants, that's now like I'm doing promos and I've got the paper

and I'm pointing at the camera and it's fill as clean with Mick Jagger. Yeah, I mean They're not on the outside of that was there in my fucking, you know, yeah, but a shingles, you know It's like Lauren the background fill Mick Jagger and Luke Perry was a host and I'm just it looks like I'm directing because I got Handed promos which they didn't realize was like a crummy job, but you get to other on Thursdays go with the host and go with the music and you get to go down there and deal with them for promos. I'm like, Kirk O'Bane, oh, your line is in green. You get to talk to them and interact

and it's kind of fun and you have to write little dumb promos. But those pictures are around and I, I don't really get, sound live anymore, like people like, oh, I saw this sound live, but it's on peacock now and in the every run. So it's a huge part of everything, of course. We get people saying, do I saw your peacock?

John, uh-oh, and time. I just won five dollars. Just to set the scene. Just to set the scene. Do you guys remember Luke Perry? I remember Luke Perry stood out to me among 130 shows I did as one of the nicest, most approachable hosts. I just remember really liking and very famous at the time. Huge, very, very famous, but he was in once upon a time in Hollywood and he passed away, but I just remember him being

just very approachable and really nice. Yeah, I'd met him not on the show, but years later, being just very approachable and really nice. Yeah, I'd met him not on the show, but years later, yeah, very nice guy, really nice. In fact, oh, you know what he did? I just remember this. I'd met him, maybe I met him on the show, I wasn't on the show on the house, but I met him. And I said, you know, he was a,

was a mayoral's place, right? No, no Beverly Hills 902, and Beverly Hills 902 and oh. He was like the biggest teen thing. So my niece was like 12 or 13. So I said, hey, Do you think I could bring my niece to the set to meet you? He goes, yeah, yeah, we'll set it up. I go, she'd be like so for any bit and when I she got there she couldn't believe it and then That's actually because well, let's take a picture and he sat around his lap

You know and then right when they took the picture he kissed her on the cheek and she like turned red, you know, and she came home and she got on the phone. I could hear screaming to her girlfriend, I can't, I'm not looking very in it. No, it was, it was, it was really great for, you know what it meant. And he was, yeah, I was sad that he passed away. It was very nice guy. Well, we're talking so much about me, let's talk about you guys. Dana and David, what was your favorite character of mine that you liked?

I like when you were in Benchwomers. I hear a lot about Benchwomers, do you, John? Yeah. Benchwomers is great. Benchwomers is just one of those movies that just made you feel good. It was just kind of fun, light vibe to it. Dana, what is it about me that you admire the most? And then David, you can go.

I don't know if anything comes to mind. Do do do do do. I like when you sing opera. Do do do do do do do. You're, you're funny-ness. You're, we have a puppet. No, always, okay. Is that Yoda?

So, love it. You have a great singing voice. I think when you're on the show, singing really helps. Dana can sing, chopping, broccoli. You can sing. Dana chopping. Right, but John has a great singing voice.

Like a big voice. That's another one of your your attributes, but would you like me to sing for you now? Yes, I know it's gonna happen right now Jesus you blew out you blew out the zoom. I mean, that was like the ratings just spiked up everybody love somebody sometime What was the tales of Tales of ribble dream John Bowman and Christine Zander wrote it that was one of those sketches that was What does it mean? It was so well written? What does it mean? It was so well written.

You had to raise yourself to the level of the sketch. A lot of sketches weren't funny and Lauren would yell at me, goes, it's your job to make them funny. I said, well, I can't make a rose smell like shit. I had that line up prepared for him. And he goes, no, I can't make shit smell like a rose. And he goes, that's your graph. You have a great relationship with your boss.

To be funny. So I said, okay, so fine. So you're telling me, because my first year in the show, I did this sketch in Al Franken and Jim Downey, who I love, are given right before the sketch, you're telling me to do two completely opposite things. Oh, listen to Downey.

Two opposite notes. And I'm like, what do I do? So long as I, you know, fuck the writers, I hired you to be funny You're opposite. No. And I'm like, what do I do? So Lord, you know, fuck the writers. I, you're, I hired you to be funny. That's your job. I said, okay, so you're telling me if the writers tell me to do something a certain way. And I think they're wrong.

And I don't think it's funny. I don't have to do it. He goes, right, I go, okay. So so many times, like, I'll go do like this. I'm like, nope. Geez. And then I have a learning out of me again. And then I would do the sketch on the air

and then I would run up and hug me. And that was so great. I go, wow, that's what I've been talking about all week. Can we just like, and that would happen over and over. I do it this way. The tales of Rehabilogy, they wrote it so well that I had to really work that.

You had to like raise yourself to the level of it. And then I did something on air, which I think I rarely did, which I know Dane did all the time. When you did, where your bush was, you just go, I'm gonna do it, but I'm gonna like riff on it and add little moments

and you're just like, you're improvising on air. So, so when they would, I knew they'd be cutting back to me and in my head, I'm like, what am I gonna do? So when the time they cut back, I mean, they're fighting and I to the two-minute fighting and I went right

You know Let me ask you guys a question. Did you do this thing? When it's it's a commercial break and everyone's running around you getting ready for a sketch or a cold opening So the audience is seeing you and your makeup whatever you you're wearing, you're going on the stage. I always tried to get them to understand that I was loose or try to signal something funny. Because a lot of times when the cold opening starts, you hear a laugh right before it starts.

And that's because it's like five seconds, Joe, just go five seconds. And then if you signal to the audience that you're being playful, it seems like it gives you a leg up. It definitely relaxes me a little bit. If you get a laugh before it starts, did you do that? Or like they go five seconds, then you go, I'm not ready or you go, places everyone

and they laugh before they come out of the broadcast. That's it. Yeah, yeah. And then they laugh and they like you already and then they're ready to go. I never did that because I'm professional. Huh, and how? I don't need to get them laughing before them. Yeah, it starts.

I know I'll be funny. Save it for the stage. Little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little. We should explain what this is. This John and I teasing each other for years where it was just, do do do do do do do. It's a thing that I would do for some reason. Conan does it every time we got to talk.

Why do you guys, we got to, you know, how competitive it is and we're friends, but we're competing against each other. And I go, you know, I go, well, let's talk about it and get it in the open because you make it really fun. And I go, you're right, you know, and I go, well, it's just the way it is. You know, so let's just be careful that it doesn't, you know, harm our friendship because we're friends, but we're competing, and that's just the way it is. But anyway, but it was funny.

So at one time, one of the best hosts, everyone was so excited, it was William Shatner. I remember Dana, Dana Smiller, that read through, he'd always be kind of, you know, grumpy, you know, because he wasn't in a lot, whatever, and he'd go, why don't I name these sketchs? I go, Dennis, you know, because he wasn't in a lot forever. And I go, and he go, why don't I name a sketch? And I go, Dennis, you gotta hang out all night. You're not here. Like hang out, participate on Tuesday night.

When we write it, you'll get in more. But anyway, so, you know, he didn't have a lot to do, read, read through. So he would just, you know, he'd be grumpy. So when William Shatter hosted, I talked around, even Dennis, everybody had the biggest smile on their face and Dennis was beaming. And we're like, I remember I'm sitting next to I on my left is William Shatter and Dana's on my right. But I like it's Kirk. You know, it's

Star Trek. We were just thrilled. And I learned how to do the show for him. He made it, he let me it looked so easy, but also that show Dana would come up to me, John, what I mean, three steps, that's where three, Oh, didn't I play three characters in the Star Trek restaurant scene? I did con, I played an insen, I don't remember. I don't know, but you're going to be.

I'm going to pull three. I'm in three steps. And William Shatter hosted the show. He made it look so easy. I go, how do you do that? He goes, just do it. And so, and once I'm, oh, the Star Trek sketch, I go, what are you doing with him? Trying to figure out how to play this, the, the, the scene, the part.

I go, but you're, how to play the part. You, aren't you, Kurt? You forget now he's an actor. But anyway, the next week, I thought, all right, well, what are they, because they would get you all riled up intense every week. And did you do this? Did you do it constantly? So I just said, well, what are they asking me to do? I walk in a door. And then I, I stop behind the couch. And then I say something. I go, so walk and talk. I simplified it to that. So I'd come in, walk in. Hey, you guys want to get something to eat,

right? That was it. So I did the show that way without'd come in and walk in. Hey you guys want to get something to eat, right? That was it. So I did the show that way without putting any stress on myself. And I thought for sure I wouldn't be funny. And after the show I thought, well I wasn't less funny and I wasn't more funny, I was the same. And I remember thinking, what have I been putting myself through every week? And after that the show became very relaxed to do,

especially when I had like one line or two. So I remember one time there's 10 of us in a line and Mike Myers is in front of me. And he's all tense because they're getting them. And I'm like, you know, the loose is, I just couldn't give a shit. And I tap hike on the shoulder, he was like, what, I go, Mike, are you looking at me

before pay attention to the scene? he's like, what? I go, Mike, are you looking at me for a pay attention and seeing? It's like, stop it. Just tease, tease. And everyone we've talked about this is like, it takes time. No, it's not easy. You just walk away.

You know, well, I think you get confident, the audience discovers you and then you get playful and then they sense it and it builds on itself. You see it with cast members now. It usually takes a few seasons unless your name is Eddie Murphy or something, you know, had such confidence at 19. It's that's that's mysterious, mysterious to me how brilliantly he was at 19. But most people would take two, three, four years of seasons to get really comfortable. You know, anyway, I'm also, well, I was nervous,

but my first sketch, I was really nervous. Why wouldn't you be watching? And then I went, oh wait, oh, the West Coast isn't watching. That crossed the line. So you're relaxed. No, now I go, that's 10 million less. But now the whole country watches it at once.

But during that show, there was a sketch from Madonna and I were a Prince Charles in Diana. So you have Hugh cards, right? So anyway, we're doing the sketch on air and she accidentally said my lines, you know, off the computer and said, it hurts. So all of a sudden, I just, I went, oh, and all my experience kicked in from, you know, doing plays in high school and four years. So you took your pants off?

I was doing 21 plays in the ground. And so I took her line and turned it around and then in my line and I was, and I went, oh, the focus wasn't on me, it was on the sketch, David. And the rest is history. And the rest is history. I remember doing Tunes as the cat where you're in the car and the cats, the driver,

it was a Jack Handysketch. And Victoria and I, again, Victoria, but she was so funny to me. We have giant cue cards and she's not saying her line, so you have to kind of kick the person. I'm kind of like kicking her under and no one can see. Oh, oh, anyway. They're like, oh my, up, you're like, you have two lines,

get them. But she was incredibly charming and funny Yeah, by the way, I never told you this day, but I was the Intuences the cat. I was the cat you were She's the makeup There You thought I was a puppet All right boy, God, look at the where the time's gone. I just wanted to give you a chance to, John became a stand up, maybe 20 years ago, now

18 years ago. So John love its place all over the country, and he's out there doing stand up. He's a great stand up. Very funny, obviously. Yeah, I started where I would open host shows by Kevin Neeland and Victoria would do 20 minutes in the Norma, Donald, and then I would open for Norm and then we co-head line and then I started doing it. But I would do that for you. Remember you, David and you Dana and Dennis Miller did a show once. I hosted that. Yeah. And yeah, I loved doing it.

But Dana, I went, Dennis Miller, the first one, you should be a standup. I used to do Woody Allen and Lenny Bruce's routines in my dorm. And he brought me to catch your eyes and start in like 85 and I just bombed. As I didn't know what I was doing. But Dana always said, you could do a standup. And Dana, I always credit you. You saved me years with your tips on how to be a stand up. So I, I owe you a big part of that stand up career. I don't know. David,

I don't know. That's very nice. I'm glad. But I, I, when I meet people, David, I'm a round of golf. It's only a matter of, well, you bench warmers, you guys should have been starting varsity as far as I'm. Ben's warmers is great. I love Ben Twimmers. Absolutely. Number seven. I like any movie where you talk like number seven. Quiet.

So funny. Quiet is always. But you guys are great stand up. So it's it's an honor to be a part of that fraternity, but it's it's been a lot of a life saver. I feel like it's I always wanted to do it. I used to do Woody Allen and Lenny Briss' routines in my dorm. Yeah.

And right after college, I went to a workshop at the comedy store. And in 79 and they go, they're not hiring stand-ups for sitcoms. And they go, oh, I guess I'll skip that step. You know, but I started. It's portable and you can do it. You can take, go away from it for a while. Come back to it.

This is a nice thing. I love it. Like Saturday night riding and performing my own material. That's what I love about SNL. One of the, and the few guys with people, the comedians. Okay. David has a question. Where is summation?

Just a set to seeing, this is David and Dana's podcast and David has a question. We're listening to John Loveitt's David Spade and Dana. I think my mic is barely on, but I will say this. Dana, when I started, I don't know if this is with you, maybe it's still, standups were looked down upon for acting and sitcoms and everything

because they were thought of as selfish and couldn't interact with others. So on SNL, like, groundlings and all those people and sketch players, second city, were priority because they had more faith they could do sketches and with us. You've seen comics that get their own showers and it just doesn't work.

And then you hear the low quiet whisper they can act and that's brutal. So I think when I started, they're like, but Kenny and the first audition I had, they said I can't act and I couldn't. I didn't know, but I had to go to two years of intensive training. Well, I have never heard you say that. How really? You study the acting with him.

Why do you think I'm so great at it? You aren't great at it, but who do you study? Sandy Meyers. I was like, I went to Roy London's class, but he was full. I think Browder's in there. I maybe you were in there. And then I went to Ivojna Chabek and she was late. Great.

Roy London. Teaching for Roy as his understudy. And then she got huge in her own way because Roy passed away and then she was doing it. But I took it, Schneider took it. I had, I had, this is quickly, then I got to go you guys. I can't do this all day. But I got-

This is yours, you're getting paid for Christ's sake, I'm not. I thought we were splitting this. You're getting a gift basket with fresh fruit, chocolates, and white wine. I don't have time for this. I'm doing it for free. You know you tip the bottle. And you mean, sorry, I don't mean to interrupt you. I think you did. But I did.

I did. I came out and I thought I was like, Eddie, remember because you feel like you don't need lessons. I thought it was naturally funny. And so I do auditions and then Lee Grant, you wouldn't know this, but she's a famous actress. She was a director and she was doing a movie and she needed a kid to play 17. And she goes, you're 20.

She saw me at the interrupt. She goes, you could play this in two seconds. It's the lead in a movie. And I'm just gonna give it to you just come to the house Read a few lines and and I'll go in there with you and will and we got our movie and I was so excited and I read this I read the scene with her And I could see in her eyes. She was do it again. Just hang on just do it again I do it again, and she goes. Oh, I can't use you. I was like, oh my God, why is you're kind of just performing it. You're not really acting. You're just trying to get laughs. And I'm like, I know, but she's like, I can't. She goes, go take some classes because you'll be great, but you just got to work. And I go, but I'm still doing the movie right?

She's like, no, I can't. Such a heartbreak. Oh, but here's the thing she should have said when she said, I can't use you. And like, why? Because did it abide by that. She was okay. You know, either way you're talking about. But here's the thing she should have said, when she said, I can't use you, and you're like, why? Because did it abide? She was okay, you know, either way you're talking to me right now. You go, yeah, she was read it like that. Don't perform, read it like you just talked to me right now. That's what she should have said.

And then you would have read it like that. She was okay. I know, she didn't want to take time. So anyway. Well, it took two seconds. Doing stand-up is, you know, I remember someone said that they said Jerry Seinfeld said it's a dialogue It's not a monologue like people weren't like a monologue like an actor in the beginning

And I thought yeah, it's now what you do and he's like no It and they said no, he said it's a dialogue between you and the audience and I thought how could it be a dialogue? I'm the only one talking and then I realized oh because It's like I'm talking you guys, now you're listening like, it's that. So I go, instead of your talking, don't you're talking to one guy and whatever you react, it's not that complicated.

People do it all the time. This is back. Anyway, John, you've been a pleasure. I think David, you're a very good actor though. Definitely in the wrong messy. Oh yeah, were you in the wrong mess? You know. No, I was supposed to be, but you cast someone else.

Oh. You're supposed to be in just shoot me, remember? Yeah, nothing. Bad boys just shoot me. We all should have done stuff. Oh yeah, home alone too. Well maybe they wanted to meet with me really bad and I go, what's the kid's movie? I don't want to be second fiddle to some kid.

Then we get the biggest comedy in the industry of motion pictures. So then I said, I'll meet on the second one and I go, now the director, Chris Columbus says, now you wouldn't meet on the first one, so you won't meet you now. I go, did I hurt his movie? Well, Ben Fairness, a movie about a 10 year old,

you just don't know if it's gonna be funny, you just don't know. The script was funny, but I didn't think I could play the part. Because it was very reactive and I'm not good at like... And that was Daniel Stern and Joe Pesci, or the second one. Yeah, it was Daniel Stern, but I'm not good at making faces. I have faith you could play it too big. I don't know what to do. I mean, I just did it now.

Well, it's a cartoon, basically. Kind of. Well, there he is. All right, bye. ["Fly in the Wall"] Coming up next, John Ham. Nice. Flying the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence XIII. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes.

Executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corqurin of Cadence XIII, and Charlie and follow all episodes.