Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Julie Bowen IN STUDIO !!!

Episode Date: June 26, 2025

To kick off the new season of Fly on the Wall, Julie Bowen is back for her second appearance on the show! She joins the guys in studio to talk Happy Gilmore 2, marriage, too much breaking news, dates with David, and much more. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Eventually she'll have kids and she's gonna have to tuck her into her socks. And that is just true. David loves marriage. Yeah. And he has a long history. Let's go to a break. I need five minutes.

Can we cut? Who did I have call you on your birthday? Do you remember this? Are you kidding me? OK. Stevie Nicks. He had Stevie Nicks call me and send a landslide into my answering machine in New York.

He dumped me on the same answering machine. OK. of my answering machine in New York. Dump me on the same answering machine. Okay. Hey David, can I ask you a question? Yeah. Weekend, what happened? Yeah, I went on the road.

This is the new sort of format thing. So here we are, we're doing this and it looks very similar. We look the same, my hair's got the helmet. But the weekend for me, just right off the bat while we settle in here, I went three tour dates, two in Arizona. So by the way, one was 113, Tucson, 113. The BO is such a different level.

People don't talk about it enough. When you get in the elevator with someone who's that sweaty, after 110, the BO reformulates and it's sickening. It's off the charts. That's one thing. Arizona, when I went to Phoenix, that was a blast. My mom came, some friends came.

Had such a good time. And also, I forgot, everyone in Scottsdale, someone's got a truck. So it's like, Raptor. You know, you pull up next to someone and they're this high and they're like, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good. Step ladder, lift kit.

So it was a game show. Yeah, everyone, every guy's trying to be cool, but girls don't like hummers, so they go right back to. Raptor. Can I say what I thought about when a guy has no muffler and he has a truck and he starts the car, what the car is really saying is, all right, I'll see you later.

I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man. I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man. That's kind of how it is. They got lifted up trucks, big tires. Hey honey, I think I've got BO. You know where my tank top is? Cause I like to go out in a tank top when I'm fully loaded under the hog.

Yeah dude, it was 117 in Scottsville before I got there. It's so sickening. Anyway, the trip was fun. Turns out I didn't need to wear a sweater. I wore a sweater on stage, I just brought it. I got on stage, I was like, bleh. Because you know when you're in Arizona, if it's 117 out, they put the air conditioner on stun. So when you walk into a store or a mall, it's 41!

And you need a defibrillator. It's like, deesh! Deesh! You know what I mean? It's so cold, you're like, this isn't good for the human body. Yeah. Too extreme.

I like the store that we have, it's like, there's a beer store, it says don't go in there. I mean, It's so cold. You're like, this isn't good for the human body. Yeah. Too extreme. I like the store that we have is like, there's a beer store. It says don't go in there. I mean, it's a grocery store, but you open it up and it's a freezer full of beer. You walk into it. Oh, just a freezer store?

Yeah, just like 33 degrees and you're in there. I mean, I must be a little bit above freezing. I'm gonna ask you if this happens to you because it's kind of funny to me. So you go to a grocery store for a while and you're at the deli or whatever, and you go on the road, you're not there for a while. Do you get this a lot?

Hey, where you been? We haven't seen you around. We'll kind of travel and working and doing, yeah, but we hadn't seen you here for a while. What's going on? Where you been? Where you been? Huh?

You ever get that? Where you been? I do, I get it. Hey, I'm seeing... Oh, here's how I get the opposite. You used to come into my bar all the time. I've been there once or twice. Same thing. You were always here every second.

God damn. Don't you tell people I was never here? And you would drink and drink and drink. Oh boy. You were always fucked up. And you got the floor mopped with you by a couple guys one night. I think they were in your pants.

You always shit your pants and wore an adult diaper and were registered independent. Always. You remember that? Yeah. That's the thing. This happens to anyone. It's not cause we've been on TV occasionally

where you meet some of your high school days and they can photographically tell you what you said in the seventies. I said to you, I like a Buick. And you said, I'll never forget it. You like Forge. I've told this story for 30 years. You're like, this isn't even true.

So you have to agree that's what you said. You saw a bird and said, well, persnickety doodle. Remember that? They go, you used to watch golf carts at the Fination, which I did. And they go, you were always cracking jokes. I go, no, I wasn't. I didn't know any jokes.

Has the audience noticed that I'm using this voice for every comedy bit today. I don't know why. It kind of works. It's just kind of fun. Where you been? Where you been? I got V-neck going today.

You look like you're going to sing in a choir. No, because it was a new, it's a new setup. It's a new day. And so I said, I gotta dress up, like at least the beginning, and then I'll go back to looking like shit. But I know what I'm going, your hair looks incredible by the way.

For the new show, it's new hair. You know what I'm gonna get you for your birthday? Please. It's gonna go with this, you can wear it underneath. A dickie. Do they know what a dickie is? A dickie is a mock turtleneck for the people out in TV wonder podcasting.

I bet even this shirt, like if it only came down to here, but as long as you put it on and then you see this part, it's all you really need. So someone invented a little... Do you pull the turntable on and then it's just like a half circle? Yeah, it's a little half thing. So if you didn't have anything else, you just wear the dickie and then you're all bare. I mean, this is what you do to make this cool and we could do it after the show. I get your sweater, I take a scissor, I just cut it short sleeve both sides, just kind of rag, and that is the look today.

Yeah. When girls, I used to wear them, they go, is that a Dickie? I go, no, this is. And they go, okay, sir. You usually say wiener, now Dickie may be your new, Dickie may be the way you refer to your penis. It used to be wiener for four years.

No, wiener, I get a little wiener heavy. Some of these shows, I say it too much, but it is funny to me. And it's very PG. It's very second, third grade. It's goofy. Yeah, it's goofy. So it's not so offensive.

No, it's very benign. Good for corporate gigs. Well, let's bring her out. We got Julie Bowen here today. Julie Bowen. And we're very excited to talk to her. We've had her on and she was such a hit with good feedback that we're having her on our first show.

Ladies and gentlemen, David Spade. Oh, I'm so sorry, dude, we keep you waiting. They're hugging. They're hugging. Deep hug. This looks good. What, is it some little little bit of like a, what do you call that, a rascal?

No, it's like a, what do you call that? Like the high, full rock thing. Okay. I think it's a mullet. Yeah, it's kind of like a mullet, but it's hipper. Yeah, Julie. That's really not my job. Showbiz 101.

David, first of all. I think that, but I never say it out loud. This is for you. God damn. Two years ago, you got mad at me. You get mad at me every year for forgetting your birthday. So I got you birthday presents two years ago that I haven't given to you. These aren't books, are they? Because you don't read.

No. No. I do have a book you gave me a long time ago ago though. He reads one tweet at a time, right? I like how books look. Yeah, well, you know what? Then you'll like these. Am I opening them? No, you don't have to open them.

You don't have to open them. Is this for his birthday? I always forget his birthday because it's like sometime in July. He keeps it real in the down low. You forget it because you're married. I'm not married. I am divorced. Oh, you were. Oh, you were. But then you can forget it when you're divorced. You were divorced last time you were married. I'm not married. I am divorced. Oh, you were, but then you can forget it when you're divorced.

You were divorced last time you were here. I'm still divorced. Yeah, what's the story? Gosh, I keep getting divorced over and over again. Did you get married again and divorced? No, no, I did not. Who got more? Him or her? I got more divorced.

Who got the money? Him or her? How you doing, Dana? Yeah. How you doing, Dana? I'll announce it. You don't have to answer any of my questions. How is... One of you were on Modern Family this time. How you doing, Dana? How you doing, Dana? I'll announce it. You don't have to answer any of my questions. One of you were on Modern Family at the time.

One of us was. This is true. There's your answer. Go ahead, ask Dana a question. I was going to ask Dana what it was like being the most relevant person ever in the last year on SNL. That was fun, right? I like that word relevant. We were super relevant. It was interesting. It was interesting.

It was interesting? That's your shortest answer you've ever given. Relevant was part of that. No, I'm gathering intellectually. Let's see. It was surreal. It was bizarre. It was at times a lot of fun.

Do you now, now that you know that Biden is like severely diminished, do you feel any guilt or insight into your portrayal? Well, this is really good and we're going to reframe this podcast, the Julie Bowen podcast. Now, she's good. We can flip it. No, but those are great questions. She's better at it than we are.

I knew that he was compromised mentally. I mean, it was obvious to me, but it was a delicate thing in the comedy world. There were a lot of people did not want to do anything that would kind of ding him in like an awkward way. But it's comedy. That's it. That's the key. If I can do Biden-

That's the idea, but that's not what everyone thinks. If I can make Biden funny to everybody, then I am where I wanna be. And then to make it funny, it had to be recognizable. And so there are certain things I did not include in my package. Sorry, you would do a sexual pun on that package? Package means wiener.

Okay. So I'm trying to set him up. It's a little early. Wiener? The biggest one was this. I'm not getting around here. I'm being serious. So that was the biggest one for me.

But it was fantastic. I loved it. I think it's easier to make fun of him if he's the president, if it's just a 90 whatever year old man. Just go, look at this asshole. So once he's president, then he's more fair game to say, but no one made fun of him forever.

No, well, he's sort of neutral. There wasn't a whole lot to until he started doing like, no, for real. Well, but they didn't, but no one did. Yeah, no, and guess what? And by the way, the fact of the matter is, I'm not kidding around here. Come on folks, this isn't a rocket science. And then the whole I wrote the bill because I know how to write bills. You write a bill faster

than you've ever written a bill. Wild Bill, Hickok, Hickahow for Hitchcock, three sizes of a bojo charm. Ladies and gentlemen, the leader of the free world. That is I'm sorry. having watched SNL since I was a wee child, and yes, David, I love you, but that it is so crazy when you do that. I love it. It's so fun. I fell in love with it. It took me two years to kind of get it and get all the different toys, I call them, on the carpet and pick them up one at a time.

Two years. Well, because he kept stacking. But look, the first six months, it was just sweet Joe. Yeah. You know? Yeah, just like, oh. My dad lost his job right in this town. Not getting around.

It's number one, the one part. Number two, what the guy said. Number three, you know the drill. Come on, folks. It isn't right. So it was just that, and I thought, well, it doesn't have the popper energy of Trump or even Obama or W.

And then I heard him whisper and yell. And I thought, oh, here we go. And then the defiant fifties guy, there's no crisis of the border. Yeah, but you said, yeah, I can get your facts right, Jack, I'll beat the hell out of you. You want to do some pushups?

You're a dog face pony soldier. You know, the fifties guy threatening. So Biden eventually was my favorite because he had like 10 hooks. Did he acknowledge it? His staff came to one of the parties, middle of the night. Hey, we just got to say, I think I still have the cards. We love you Biden.

Joe probably loved too. Why don't you come down to the White House and have lunch? It never happened, but you know, cause he's, he said, what's lunch? Is that the thing you do before dinner? Just watch him eat a paper bag and you gotta go, no one says anything, no one says anything. So anyway, I loved it.

It was again, entering and exiting, but it was a real challenge to make it acceptable. And I read comments, hey man, I hate Trump, but whatever, but this is really fucking funny. It was funny. So that's amazing. It was funny. All right, let's start the podcast. So let's go, I have other stuff to share. All right, but this is really fucking funny. It was funny. So that's amazing. It was funny. All right, let's start the podcast.

So let's go, I have other stuff to share. All right, sorry, more about you, David. Yes, now when I first got on SNL, the church lady wasn't really for me. Do we have a clock? Do do do. No, don't dirt. No.

They'll never take that away from you. Julie, I have a lot of really hard-hitting questions. Enough of this fluff. Dude, did you feel like this is like literally plot? We have to. I just pretend very angry. I have a lot of really hard-hitting questions. Enough of this fluff. Did you just like literally pull out cars? We have to. I did very, very good. We have to treat you like you're a real guest. Just look at the cliff notes.

Help! It says, help! Help? It says help. How will AI be stopped? Sexualized women in their 50s in movies? Why are all these movies with women in their 50s being incredibly horny?

Julie Bowen dash Sydney Sweeney. What the? Your son, your son thought Sydney Sweeney was gonna play the ex-wife. Yeah, it was like, no, no, it was gonna be the Happy Gilmore's new hookup. And he said, I heard Sydney Sweeney's the cart girl. Can I come to say that?

Cart girl's a good idea. Cart girl. So then you knew you were the ex-wife. Is she the cart Girl or not? I didn't know anything about the movie. Are you still allowed to read the script yet? There's so many things on that piece of paper, it's terrifying.

I know, you're not supposed to see that. No, no, we wanna get to Happy. No, you can't. Let's start with Stupid Happy Gilmore. Did you, I'm kidding. That should have been the title. Picture of Adam right behind you. He's not here.

He called you up and be that very whispery gentle Adam. I told Adam here. Yes. So he called you directly. You are dude, I heard a hot bag at home. And he calling me, actually he texted me and I thought it was the second AD from some project I just said, cause it just comes up as Adam.

And I was like. Hey fuckface. And I was like, Hey, fuckface. And I was like, yeah. He said, what's going on? I was like, do you have something you need to say? And he was like, whoa, rude. And I picked up the phone and called him. I was like, I thought you were the second AD

from some project. That's hitting you up three years later. Oh, you know, I'm gonna make a happy Gilmore tour. We're doing it, buddy. And we want you to be part. And I said, Adam, I don't care if I'm gonna make a happy Gilmore cool. He said, we're doing it, buddy. And we want you to be part. And I said, Adam, I don't care if I'm part of it or not. I felt like he was calling to tell me that I wasn't in it. When did you realize during the phone call,

holy shit, I'm in happy Gilmore too? 30 seconds? Yeah. Did you negotiate at all? I mean, what would I approximately get paid? Negotiate. You didn't even hint at what it would be possibly? No, no, I just, I mean, you both worked with Adam.

Like he's- We know him like a little, he's my little brother from another mother. Did you text your list of demands after when you think about it a little bit? I did not have a list of demands. That was the craziest, most elaborate production though I've ever seen.

You know, when you have a village, like- Video village? Not a video village, like the circus, you know, where they put all the trailers and stuff. It was like a literal, like, now you go to K Street, it reminded me of your bit about trying to get out of the- MGM. The MGM Grand, and you're like, you go to the second wheel,

and then you go around twice with the sunrise. It was a town. It was massive. Adam town. Did they have any cameos in the film? I don't think they did that. I think there's a- We don't get Yahoo news, we don't know.

I don't really look at news much. I'm reading more in peace right now. I don't know. I don't read about that. But yeah, it's in a stravagant. 135 people I think are in this movie. Shut the fuck up. That's not illegal.

But they didn't get Eminem. I don't know. They did get Eminem. They, is that true? How do you know that? Eminem is in the, because I did my homework. How do you know? Post Malone, Eminem and Bad Bunny

are doing cameos in the movie. Does Post Malone play your son? My son. His son plays basketball. It's called Post-Up Malone. I will fucking kill you. Wait, are you and Adam, are you and Adam married? Did you get married in the first one at the end? We ended the movie just together.

Right. And so now? I think I'm only allowed to say what's in the trailer. Yeah, just say what's in the trailer. Yeah. I mean, we're married. We have kids. Okay.

We're married with kids. Nice. That's like all I'm allowed to say. The kids better be famous people. Now, do you have a makeout sesh, as David would say, with your husband, Adam? First day of shooting, we had a little kissy kissy. Was it on camera or off camera? It was definitely on camera.

It was definitely on camera. I'm not trying to stir the pot here. No, I mean, except for that you totally are. I do that, I'm like, I'm over here. He said if I didn't make out with him, he was going to replace me with Sydney Sweeney. Yeah. Well, you said Sydney Sweeney gonna replace me with Sydney Sweeney. Yeah. Well, you said Sydney Sweeney is in it.

Sydney Sweeney is in it as Cart Girl. Is she? Yeah. Oh, she is. She is in it. So your kid was right. So my kid was right. Your kid was right.

Cause that is a good idea. Cart Girl is always supposed to be some cute girl. They never, they had like, the whole cast list was coded. And like even in the hair makeup troll, they'd be like, I mean, it was like, oh, caddy, oh, the caddy's in. And that was all it was on the, on the call sheet and everything. And then you're on-

Big boob cart girl works today. What? Big boob cart girl works today. I heard that Julie, Sweeney, Sweeney, what is her name? Sweeney's eyes. She had one golf cart for her breasts and one for her body. It was so large.

Yeah, and this, and on of paper was women being sexualized. Now, what was that? No, women, I mean, Nicole Kidman is the queen of women in their 50s that are still incredibly horny. It's a genre. She was great in baby girl. Do you think she is though? Is she incredibly horny or is she just playing horny?

That is one of the best questions that has ever been asked on this podcast. Literally that is so, our next half hour is gonna unpack that. I've never met Nicole Kidman. I have no nothing about her. She's a great actress, but I like to imagine that she goes home

and she's like, yeah, don't touch me. She just like sleeps in like an oxhole chair. Cause she's so beautiful and so perfect and porcelain. What about Keith Urban? Doesn't he have a right to get some sexual activity? I'm doing JFK as Keith Urban, sorry. My Australian home. Is he Aussie too? He's Aussies too.

I don't know. He calls her Nick. Hey Nick, how was it today? I got beat up in a shower and fist fucked a guy. Oh, that's baby girl. Did you see baby girl? Sorry, we might have to cut that. That's for the crew.

Hug one. Is that not, that is probably not YouTube approved. We can, we have editing capability. You can go as blue as you want. Greg's already cutting it right now. I do, I do think that, first of all, if I look like Sidney Sweeney, I would be naked 24 seven. And cause like, eventually she'll have kids

and she's gonna have to tuck her tits into her socks. And that is just true because it's really. Well that's gonna trend. Tits into her socks, that's great. But that's only after she has kids. So while she's young and gorgeous and she is, and a really good actress, I don't know why everybody gives her heat

because she's got the greatest boobs that were ever made and she doesn't mind having them out there. She's good. I just saw you for it. I don't even watch you for it, but it was on when I was on the road. And she's good. David wants to talk about his tour. No.

We'll plug it on the commercial. He'll be in Tallahassee. You have to do a testimonial for Morongo. We're going to Yamava. Good job, Julie, yeah. Are you going to Yamava? Yeah, we'll see if we can get you in. Yamava, what is this?

I don't know if I get any comps. Is this Jewish, Yamava? I don't know what Yamava is comps. Is this Jewish, Yomavah? I don't know what Yomavah. Yomavah is a casino out, is that in your Palm Desert? Gil, Bertha, are they playing that? Yeah, that's what I just heard. Oh, we're playing a casino. The two of you?

Yeah. Together. Together. How does that go? Well, he tries to follow me. That is true. No, no, I don't want to follow him. That wasn't pretty.

We've done it. I followed you in Indianapolis. Yeah, we did too already. I said to the sound guy, look, I know he's going a little over. Could we just like slowly bring the mic down? Yeah, you were doing extra bits. And got him off before he did his porn chunk on an airplane.

What? It works. I don't know the porn chunk on an airplane. He's got a very funny. I actually got a little dirty when I was at a, I just played Judy who's in the crowd, my mom, and when I was in Arizona. No, sweet Judy doesn't wanna hear a word.

Oh, you don't need Judy. She's the sweetest woman that ever lived. Yeah, she, I said, mom, if you're there, I will take some stuff out, but I gotta fill an hour, and I just did a special, I gotta do some new stuff. Oh, I don't care. I don't know if you need it though. And then afterwards she goes, it was great.

I should have just walked out for the last 20. Mom, because of the porn thing? Of our 30 minute set. And she's like, that last 20 was just real Davey. There's a couple of days ago, aw. You know who's funny? Nate. She likes Nate Bergatsky.

Nate is funny. He is funny and he's clean. It's a very tough combo. Nate is great, likes Nate Bergotti. Nate is funny. He is funny and he's clean. It's a very tough combo. Nate is great, not because it rhymes. Nate is great. Nate is really great. Nate is very funny. That's another one for a point. Spade's got it made, not because it rhymes. Julian is gonna fool you. No, not because it rhymes.

I'm kind of punchy if you haven't noticed. So I don't know who is in this movie. It's a short answer. Cause half, cause you never even saw. Right. They're not in all the trailer. You would see the people when you. Did you ever get on Travis Kelsey's shoulders?

Why would I get on his shoulders? Cause he's a man that you could get on shoulders. You could get on his shoulders. No. And he wouldn't notice. He wouldn't even notice. I could just climb right up his back. Cause you weigh 88.

Yeah. And he is, he, I could tuck myself in his shirt, he wouldn't have noticed. He's like a refrigerator with a head attached. He's a very large. Just weigh in real fast, so I don't wanna change the topic. Nothing. Are they getting married? Tay-Tay and Trap-Trap.

I don't... Are they getting married? You have five seconds. No. Are they, oh, you pushed her. I know. Are they, that, you pushed her. I know. Are they, that was her blink. Secretly married?

No. Okay. No way. Why would they do anything in secret? Yeah, yeah. Why? No, no, no. I mean like, you know, David loves marriage. And he has a long history. Let's go to a break.

I need five minutes. Can we cut? Can we cut tape? David loves commitment. And he's very serious about his faith. Julie Louise Bowen. And he would like to stand in front of God and his family and make a lifelong commitment to one woman. And that's why he's so fascinated with this issue with Tay-Tay and Trav. But I've been married. I get along great with my ex-husband.

We're totally solid. Marriage is hard. It can be hard. Well, without being personal, just say generally. What was the cause of the breakup? Or what causes marriages to break up? Not general. You don't want to be personal.

I have some ideas on this. Some of us are not as good at being married and I'm one of those people. My husband was great and I was just like, I was difficult and I was working all the time and I suffered the like underappreciation syndrome and I'm doing all this and you know, and then you start going in different directions.

And yeah, the only thing a marriage can't survive is contempt. Is that true? I thought I just I heard a heard that of some analysis on the radio. You heard that you heard that in your couples therapy. No, this is what I heard. I heard about women. Let me see if you think this is true. couples therapy. No, this is what I heard. I heard about women. Let me see if you think this is true. No, men wanna be admired. Okay.

And women wanna be loved by a man they admire. You have five seconds. What the fuck? If that's like, it takes me five seconds, even. You don't even get that. You have two minutes. Women wanna be admired, women wanna be loved by the man they admire.

Uh, okay. Did you admire your husband? Sounds quite groundbreaking. I mean, I don't really, I loved him. Okay. Yeah, I loved, I don't know, admire. That sounds weird, like, I mean, not everyone can be admired the way you two are admired.

Did you admire me? Well, I admire David and he admires me. I admired your ability to bring other people along on our dates. Julie, this isn't why you're here. Wait a minute. What does give you? See, when you go to El Torito, you wanna bring a bunch of people. He literally would always bring somebody

and then we'd be in the middle of a conversation and he'd go, save it, save it, save it for next time. He was always worried we'd run out of things to talk about. I was like, I've never had anything so true. He died of a world. He does. Save it, save it, save it. Save it for when we have dinner. Save it for what? we'd have run out of things to talk about. I was like, I've never had anything so true. She does do that. Save it, save it, save it.

Save it for when we have dinner. Save it for what? I don't know, you're always worried we're not gonna have anything to talk about. Guess what, we ran out. No, we did not. We never ran out of shit to talk about. See, it was good we haven't talked for a year

because now we have all this stuff. See, we saved it. No, give me this fucking paper. Save it, save it, save it. If you can understand it, it's yours. Save it for our next dinner at Nibbler's. Dana, I'm a little bit of a spendy Susie, if you know what I mean.

A boozy Susie and a spendy Susie. Yeah, I'm more of a boozy Susie, but yeah. You are a spendy spender, yeah. And a lot of our listeners are nice enough to write in and say, you look like you drank a lot and slept on your face. But that's just constructive criticism. Well, it's very concise

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the gambling of someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario when it's 66-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Nibblers? Nibblers? Isn't that right next to Pirates of the Caribbean? Nibblers was down on a... Nibblers was on an early bird special. I don't remember if we ever... Did we ever go to residuals?

That's a real one. Do they have a 5pm dinner? Do you know residuals? That's a real bar. Do they have a 5pm dinner? Do you know residuals? Yes. Okay, now. It's a bar that people should know about in LA and the Valley where if you bring your residual check, if it's under a dollar, you get a free drink. I thought he had...

I got tons of those. Oh, I got plenty of those. And they put it on the wall. Yeah. But since all of mine are under a dollar now, I could really clean up. Yeah. I got one. There are no more residuals.

Oh, really? I mean... Oh, do you think the strike worked? It seemed like the whole business went, pfft. Yeah. No, I don't feel that it worked. Is it a hot take? I feel like it's just proven that it almost did work. Well, they were like, it was, I mean,

it's so inside baseball, and probably your viewers, listeners, don't give a crap to us. No, no, they got it. COVID, strike, yeah, all that stuff did not help. Sometimes you lose for winning, you know? It was, I guess we made strides in AI, but I don't know. I don't know, the AI is the genie in the box. I think there was no way to stuff it back in.

But you know, they did, they did, they managed to take every single show, like every network show ever that now goes streaming, there's a very complicated math formula that adds up to one cent. Anyway, all of it, it's all gone? If they took a show like Just Shoot Me. Let's just say a huge hit show.

It's too easy. Where you were nominated. Just Shoot Me, a classic. For Golden Globe 2M. Okay. I need to finish. Did you win? You know, I don't even know.

I don't remember because it's all about being nominated. Let's talk about this soon. Save it for next week. Don't use her ammo against me. I thought it was a good one. It's a good observation. Well, the problem is everything she can say is gonna be funny about it.

So I, and I stay quiet. That's what we met. We met at the Golden Globes. Oh, we did meet at the Golden Globes. She has a photographic memory when it comes to you. Well, I remember meeting him because he was like, hey, I know you. Oh boy.

Yeah. I love everything has to be a disaster. Hey, I think I kicked you in the butt and I said, what's up loser? No, you asked me. You're like, ah, why do I, I know you. And I said, no, you don't. Yeah, from your Neutrogena commercial.

No. No, you were on Ed. I was on Ed, I know you. And I said, no, you don't. Yeah, from your Neutrogena commercial. No. No, you were on Ed. I was on Ed. I didn't even know what I was on at the time. It was a long time ago. But you're actually also very pretty. So you didn't really have to be on 20.

I told you I was a dog walker. Oh. And you believed me. And then you went away. He's like, oh. And you like faded quickly into the background. That was a true side gig while, until you made it. No, I just was like, he was like trying to go like,

you know the thing where people are like, how do I know you? And you're like, that's not all me to tell you. So I was like, I don't know, maybe I've walked your dog. He goes, I don't have a dog. And I said, well, I'm a dog walker. Then she walked away. Oh, okay.

I'm a dog, I'm a dog walker. It's a little seductive. She's a dog walker. I can make a doggy go, roll around. I can make a dog. I'm a dog walker. It's a little seductive. She's a dog walker. I can make a doggy go, roll around. No. I can make a doggy sit up and beg. I mean, there's a lot there to unpack. I didn't go for it. I was super nice.

And then I tracked you down somehow. Right? Through your publicist. Well, we didn't have... how else? Any other way. You live in New York. I lived in LA. Uh-huh. Okay. I remember the night. Uh-huh. Okay.

I remember the night you met her and you said, I met this really cool chick and her name is Jan Beeman. Where did you meet me? I go, Jan Beeman? You guys probably met at New York. I know, I met you and guess, why I shouldn't even give it away.

No, we don't have to give the address away. Eric Idle is now renting that house in Beachwood Canyon where I met David. Who was living there at the time? Where was he? Kevin Nealon was living there. Oh met David. Well, who was living there at the time? Kevin Nealon was living there. I was living there. David lived there after I got SNL,

Kevin got SNL, and then David got SNL. No, I rented Kevin's house while they were on SNL. I lived in the garage to save money with my wife. We had a hot plate in Nob Kitchen. In the garage? No, on the top of the garage. Okay, okay, okay, okay. 300 square feet.

But in this house, for some reason, I got lucky enough to get SNL, they said they wanted a tall guy. I said, you know, Kevin Neely's like 6'5", so Kevin got on. David stayed in his room. They wanted a tall guy? It was a throwaway,

but I don't think that's exactly why Kevin got it. I mean, exactly. Well, they had me, well, Phil was pretty good. The thing, tell yourself when you don't get it, you're like, they were just trying to round the cast out with tall guys. I think Lauren is, at his core,

it is kind of like a sitcom. Like he didn't, you don't, even Jim Carrey's a genius, but you don't want five Jim Carreys. You want this balance of stuff. That's the way he does it. So it filled in nicely. But then David got Saronite. No, I ran in Kevin's room. He saw me in the improv in the hallway, and I go, oh, I nicely. But then David got sirenized by it. No, I rented Kevin's room.

He saw me in the improv in the hallway and I go, oh, I'm getting kicked out of John Mulrooney's house. He goes, oh, you know what? I'm going to SNL. Do you want to rent a room? There's two other comedians. And I said, yeah.

So I rented it when he came home with Dana. They would tell me about SNL and Kevin was sleeping on the couch. And that's how I met Dana. And then, but it didn't cross my mind ever to go on SNL. Ever. Whoa,L, ever. Let's back up to you were living at John. Mulrooney's.

Oh Mulrooney's. He's a comedian, you don't wanna know. I thought you said Mulvaney. Was Bob Dubeck's there? Was Paula still over the garage when you were there? Yeah. Oh, so my wife lived over the garage. Yeah.

Because I was in New York. You look like Free Dana's because your wife has blonde hair. We all were very, very blonde. And you were all named Dana. You could have moved. All named Dana. I could have. So I stayed there and then they came back

and then eventually they, Dennis Miller helped recommend me. They helped and then just, I was using stand-up. So then when I got on, that's why it took me a while to get going because I just knew how to kind of write but not write sketches. He wrote, yeah, he used to be my writer. Yeah, and they go write for Dana and I'm like. Yeah. It was kind of weird though. Really write sketches. He wrote, yeah, he used to be my writer. Yeah, and they go write for Dana, and I'm like, yeah. It was kind of weird though. Really?

You wrote for him? Well, they would ask him to write for me, but Lorne also said to me, if anything happens to you, David's always there. Like he was the heir of America. Like he was another version of you? Yeah, yes, and he would sit behind me and read through, and sometimes he'd pull back on my chair a little bit.

Cut it out, man. When are you leaving? But also we toured, he was my opener. We did stand up and he would give me some jokes and stuff. He's a great writer. Isn't that funny? We go out, beep, bop, beep. Wait, I cannot imagine, I did not know you were that,

like, he was literally waiting for you to like take a sick day. Yeah, or yeah, he was just sort of being groomed. Get lost. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I had caught, and Churchsley was my character, and then I left it at that place in Beechwood Canyon. I went back to S.L. when I came back, I couldn't find it.

I looked through the window where David was staying, and he was sitting there looking in the mirror, dressed as a Church Lady. Not in the shower, but just at a chair. You were dressed as Church Lady? Just vacuuming. And I go, oh, Danny, you're home with David. Oh, Satan.

Oh, Danny, you're home with Daydreamer. Oh, Satan. You're fake. I'm just like, he has two things. Do you have early days? I was curious about two things. I'm gonna unpack it. One is just you as a little girl, and then you ending up being a huge TV star,

and a movie star, and whatever star. You became a star, you're famous, and you were just a little girl. What started it? And so what did Julie see? What did you watch? What toy did you have? Did you have a doll? Who were you?

Who were you? Because it's so freaky to become famous in acting or comedy. It is, the odds are vastly stacked against you, especially when I didn't watch TV as a child. Oh, what? Mormon much? Were you in Baltimore? I was in Baltimore when we didn't have cable or any. I mean, it was like, and we weren't really allowed to watch TV except for specials. Do you guys remember that? It was a special and then

it would spin around the sea and it was this sort of disco kind of font. And if it was a special, we could watch it, and then we could record it. And so I had three movies recorded, probably on Betamax that we watched endlessly. I knew every word to. It was the 80s? It was Sound of Music.

Oh, God, I wanna talk about that. Go ahead. Gone with the Wind. Never saw it, never saw it. Bugsy Malone. Bugsy Malone? Bugsy Malone was the formative, like I was obsessed with Bugsy Malone. Which one was Bugsy Malone?

Jodie Foster. Jodie Foster as a child. The kid gangsters. But like a prostitute-y kind of like, she was Tallulah and it was so inappropriate. That was her second. And I watched it. Oh, I was like, everything is wrong with this. And I know every word to them. And how old were you when you were watching?

Oh my God, probably like between 10, like nine and 12. So how big a family? How many kids? There's three girls. And so during the week, you just did your homework. You weren't watching like Little House on the Prairie or Batman, I mean. I would watch Mash in the kitchen TV

if my mom was out, because she would be going to pick up my other sisters from somewhere. And I would be like, I would watch MASH, but I'd turn it off really fast because we weren't supposed to watch TV on school. You're so disciplined. Did you ever give any guff to your parents?

No, I was really, really like the perfect child. This is bad because then you get, that makes you crazy later. Here, you be my mom asking me, what are, because then you get, that makes you crazy later. Here, you be my mom asking, what are you gonna do today? And I'll be me. Okay, what are you doing today, David?

Whatever I want. Jesus. I built Napoleon Dynamite. I thought you did not do that. I was trying to do Napoleon Dynamite. I'll be Julie. Hey Napoleon, what are you doing today? Whatever I want, God!

Get away from me, get away from me, God away from me. Oh, no, I did. I like, So you were just a goody two. I was doing my chores, then my homework. I did. And then you became a backseat Patty when you got to Hollywood. What's a backseat Patty?

A prostitute? Is that like an Irish prostitute? A promiscuous woman. I heard this figure of speech based on some other famous person. I always thought it was so funny. Oh, she was a backseat Patty. I don't know what that is.

It sounds a little slutty. I don't know. No, I was not. I was told when I got out to LA and I had friends out here who were starting to, they were backseat pattying. Okay. And someone said, don't do that.

You can always sleep your way to the middle. And I was like, okay. You pulled your Penelope Prude act on LA, right? Yeah, that's right. Penelope Prude, backseat Patty. Backseat Patty, Penelope Prude. Yeah, I just, the thing that we would do, you asked what we were doing instead of watching TV,

we did plays. We put on plays in the backyard and we did plays and plays and- The three of you with neighborhood kids or just the three of you? Neighborhood Kids, everybody. You did a little stage. Yep, a whole nine yards. Did you get the bug as hard as you?

Who? Did you get the bug for acting what they didn't as much? No, Molly, my older sister, you know Molly, you call her Trolley, which I don't know why. Molly the Trolley. But Molly, Molly's actually a much better actress than I am. Always has been. But she didn't have the ability to like hear like no

and go on auditions and have, and people would be like, dirty grind. No, thank you. And I was, I was tougher in that regard. It's a fucking brutal game. Yeah, that's the thing that people miss. Cause they, I mean, it's not anyone's fault,

but they'll see on TV being loose and funny or on a talk show and they don't realize the percentage of just suffering that goes on. I mean, maybe there's exceptions, Bob Dylan or the Beatles, but for most of us, it's a slog of disappointment. The Beatles played in a strip club for years. You mean in Hamburg. They don't see.

We sat for a plunk, Julie. You know, we sat for a plunk and John would look at me. I look at him. It's like looking at a mirror. I can't not do it. I'm not getting around here. They don't see my cold reading when I'm behind Okie Dog giving a BJ behind a glory hog on.

Did I get it? Yeah, exactly. But there's no joy. Poor David. There's no joy, only relief. Like, you're like, they're like, well, we're gonna have to get you, you're gonna have to audition and then,

well, we want you to audition again, then we're gonna do chemistry reads. And by the time you actually get a job, you're like, you really? You still want me? You're so beaten down. gonna do chemistry reads. And by the time you actually get a job, you're like, really? You're still wanting? You're so beaten down. Yeah, you are beaten down. What was your low point?

Did you like, I'm gonna try to go, I'm going to Hollywood, everybody, and try to make it, and you maybe have some little something going on. My low point was- Low point where you're like, maybe this isn't gonna happen. Well-

A horrible audition, you walked out. I had, I put, I was super pregnant when I auditioned for Modern Family, with twins. And I'd been working, but I knew this was gonna be a good show. And they just kept calling me in and looking at my stomach going like,

and I was like, what? I guess by law, they weren't allowed to ask me like, when are you due? And they kept sort of looking at me. I was like, I'm never getting this job. They keep bringing me, everybody in the entire world has auditioned for this. And there was another project going at the same time,

same network that, and the character was pregnant. And they were like, they wanted me to test for that. They wanted me to test for Modern Families. But I had to pick, you've got to pick which one's gonna be in first position. So I picked the other show. Smart. Because it wasn't the better show, but I needed

a job. It's better chance. And I wanted a job not to like... You got mouths to feed. Yeah, and I was making two more at the time. And God bless, Steve Levitan found out and actually emailed me and was like, what are you doing? What are you doing? We really want you. And I was like, you just stand around and look at my stomach all day. They go, when is that baby due? I said, ooh, there's two of them. There's a lot longer to go.

That's what they were trying to figure out. So you are pregnant, Fatso. They thought you were pregnant. We just shot it the way, we shot it and I hid behind things. And then you had a break to have them while they picked it up or something? I had them the day we got picked up.

Steve Levitan called me on May 7th because I was in labor and I was hanging out. Being in labor, it sounds like it's really intense, but it's kind of boring. And I was like, you know, hanging out and my phone rings and I answered it. And he's like, the show got picked up and they're gonna show the whole pilot.

And I was like, that's awesome. He's like, any chance you can make it to the upfronts in New York? I was like, I don't think so. And he's like, what are you doing? And I'm like, I'm having a baby. And he was like, or two, and he was like, I'm in the O now.

So yeah. Did you ever ask him that one, it got around like, someone else really wants Julie? There's nothing more powerful than that in life than she's actually got a thing over here. They were. I don't know if they would have picked you anyway, but that is double your power.

It probably, I'm sure it helped. Yeah. But it was, I went home and I sobbed because then I tried to get, put Modern Family in first position and they wouldn't let me. They're like, can't be done, just can't be done. I'm like, it's the same network.

It just, what do you mean it can't be done? Can't they just hire you without? Is this a rumor that your two boys are named Ed O'Neill? Yeah, that was definitely. Now I have a quick story about Jennifer Aniston. Just wanna clarify. Jennifer's mom lived in my condos and then I met Jennifer when she was kind of newer about auditioning.

So she had auditioned for Friends and then she got another thing. I think it was called Muddling Through or something. It was with Paul Rudd. Okay, it was with Paul Rudd. Okay. And then she goes, I hope, now she hoped it, the friends one went. But I think one got, what happened? Did it get picked up and then? It got, I don't remember, I just remember

that they were like, oh my, and then friends got picked up and she was like, oh shit, what am I gonna do? And then it turned out to be the right thing, obviously. It was a big hit. Did you ever turn down something that was a hit? Or miss it barely? I didn't audition for some stuff that I didn't, on the page I wasn't, no. I didn't audition for 40 year old Virgin,

but it was Liz Banks anyhow. So whenever it's gonna be Liz Banks, it's gonna be Liz Banks. She is great. But I had little kids, I was really busy and I was tired and I was reading, I was just like, I don't necessarily getting it. And then you see it and you go, fuck, you're an idiot.

You're an idiot, it's the funniest fucking movie. And then drove and had to blow on the breathalyzer. What was that? Is that what her part was? I don't remember. She asks if she hits on Steve Carell, she blows the breathalyzer to start the car and then she starts hitting all the cars. Was that Leslie?

No, that was Leslie. That was in Knocked Up. Knocked Up? Leslie Mann. Is that S. Rogan? She's great too. Elizabeth Banks is non-secret or just so we can cut it out. She called me once in the 90s or something. She, she had an idea of a script where she didn't know who her dad was and it was me. And you were like, wait, what? What about that? I could do the church life for you.

What about the Brian Cranston idea? Where's the Brian Crane? Where they were like trying to kill Dana Carvey. The whole thing was. Oh yeah, no, that was someone writing a, no, season two of, are they Australian guy we just had on. Oh, who? Oh, Jim Jeffries. Jim Jeffries had a sitcom on.

And then the third season was gonna be, I was gonna be his dad or I was gonna kill or something. He was gonna kidnap you for the whole season. But did you ever really struggle? Did you eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and like struggle to get an agent? You know, that phase. Yeah, no, I lived in New York after college

and I waited a lot of tables. Okay. A lot of tables. You did? And I, yes. And I did every random job you could. I was a reader at HBO. I labeled teacups some random woman. I'd do anything I got hired for.

Teacup label. Other than backseat patty it. Backseat patty. Backseat patty, we got the name of the episode. I did not backseat patty. No, no, no, not at all. But yeah, no, I definitely. And did you ever get discouraged?

Like sort of go, fuck, this isn't gonna happen for me. That's what I was trying to get to. Did you have doubts? Yes, oh, this isn't gonna happen for me. That's what I was trying to get to. Did you have doubts? Yes, oh, a thousand, yeah. All right. Yeah, especially when I was auditioning in New York and I was just getting commercials and TV shows. I know, sorry, I was getting commercials and like episodic

and all I wanted to be was a theater actor. I wanted like serious theater and never, was never hired, not even once. Sound of Music, your favorite movie? I mean, it's it's a musical. It's a tight three way race. You know, I mean, what's the other two for musicals? Oh, for musicals.

I can't say it. You've never seen it. I've never seen it. Wicked. Is it bad? I mean, we're going to have to go with Bugs in the Loam. I never saw Sound of Music. It's wicked smart. And you you can sing.

I don't think so. I can sing as Neil Young. That's the only way I can sing. You can sing as Neil Young. Yeah. Can you sing as anybody else? I think that's probably my best way to sing. As Dana.

I don't have a voice. I don't have a face. I don't have a personality. You got to stick a nose on me or give me some voice. I mean, I'm a completely neutral, invisible person. But you know, I'm all struck by was Ariana Grande on SNL 50 doing that. Had she every single singer ever? How? How? And I don't think she's had, like, she looks like a waif.

She's like a tiny little waif and my lord, can she sing. Wait, was it the sketch where she comes in and sings everybody? She does impressions herself. She's funny as shit. She's amazing. little wave and my lord, because she says. Wait, was it the sketch where she comes in and sings everybody? She's saying every- She does impressions, she's so funny. She's amazing. She does- I did Jennifer Coolidge with her on that show.

That's right, that was great. Oh my God, that was so good. That was great. Coming through a mirror or something? There were three Jennifer Coolidge's. Yeah, three. Yeah, because it was Chloe. I don't want to watch it.

Oh, what am I doing? But she's kind of shy. She is? And then by the time we rehearsed it, yeah, standoffish. And then by the time we did it on it, she was just... You're going to have to cut that out. No, I mean, then she cut... Alleging a 12-year-old is going to murder me.

No, she's been stoned. She's shy. And then when she gets out there, it's like power. She's incredible. But she's not on every second, but adorable person. We wanna have her on the podcast after Wicked Two. Come on. After Wicked Two? After Wicked Two.

So the first time you got something where you said, holy shit, I may have a career, is it Modern Family? Was it that? No, no. Happy Gilmore you did in 95? Happy Gilmore was my first movie. Oh, okay. That was 95. And it's a classic. But? Happy Gilmore was my first movie. Oh, okay. That was 95. And it's a classic.

But I didn't think, at the time it was like, I mean, it was made for barely any money up in Canada. We had a black, it was so fun, but I didn't ever think anybody was gonna see it. I didn't, I thought it was just like a little like. Oh, of course. I thought it was like a fun, weird little movie. You never know, you never know. And then you, yeah, you really never movie. You never know, you never know.

And then you, yeah, you really never know. You never know, it was Sandler's second one, I think. Yeah, it was Billy Madison. What was it Tim Allen that you did? Oh, Joe Somebody. Joe Somebody is the name of it? Joe Somebody, why did you just bring that up? Because I was thinking of movies,

I was like, you came in town. I have not been in very many movies. I'm not like, people don't... they like me in the kitchen, next to the refrigerator, waving my fingers. Whether it's a family member, friend or furry companion joining your summer road trip, enjoy the peace of mind that comes with Volvo's legendary safety. During Volvo Discover Days, enjoy limited time savings

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watch every match for free on Dazon, starting on June 14th and running until July 13th. Sign up now at dazon.com slash FIFA. That's D-A-Z-N dot com slash FIFA. Would you ever do a highly sexualized woman? I mean, that's the question, right? With a younger man. Like, you think you would, you want to, I want to, but then you go, oh, people get, they can't, they don't want Claire Dunphy doing that, you know? Oh yeah, you do have that.

I know, but I'm trying to figure out how you shake that without being disrespectful to it. Would you be embarrassed shooting like the super horny girl getting ramrodded? I watched Nicole Kidman, I was like, God dang. Nicole Kidman, too, you like something 10 times. Did you guys watch it with pillows in your lap? Did you watch it with pillows in your lap?

No, no one's there, they can see my rod. Oh, no, I wouldn't find it sexy. You mean baby girl? Baby girl. Oh, I wouldn't find it sexy. You mean baby girl? Baby girl. Well, I didn't find it sexy. When she's- I thought she's just a great actress. She's a phenomenal actress.

But yeah, I imagine she goes home. It's like, you know, you guys know comedians. You probably both go home and you're like, shut the fuck up. Like, you don't have that side. I don't want to watch comedy. I don't want to watch a sitcom. I want to watch drama or Hitler trying to take over Europe or something. I don't want- watch a sitcom. I want to watch drama or Hitler trying to take over Europe or something.

I don't want, you know. You watch the Hitler channel. I'm fascinated with World War II, yes. I'm guilty. Isn't it? Don't we know everything there is to know now? Like, is there really more? I have a friend.

It's like the John Benet case. It's a new documentary. You can read five books just on D-Day. You can write 10 books on the Battle of Britain. You can read 12. You, coming from all different angles, because it was the last time we had really analog secrecy in a war. Oh, okay. You know, fake dummy parachuters and cardboard tanks.

Even Shang-Tung-Lun, no, Chicago! You know, and there it is. Yeah, yes, what that was. Champion! Yeah, so it's fascinating. And code breakers. Yeah, that, the movie with Benedict Cumberbatch. Benderdick. Wind Talkers. with Bender Dick Cumberbatch. Bender Dick.

Wind Talkers. Bender Dick Cumberbatch. Bender Nick is his porn name. Well mine is. Bender Nick Cocksucker, you know him. Wait, we got, that's a mic drop right there. Bender Dick is his porn name. Bender Dick Cumberballs.

Bender Nick. No, he's a- They didn't have TikTok, I don't think, during World War II. Back in World War II, nope. They had TikTok. They did not, they had, yep, that's true. The only good have TikTok, I don't think, during World War II. Back in World War II, nope. They had TikTok too, that's it. They did not, they had, yep, that's true. The only good thing about wars is when they show it,

like this new one, when they show on the map, the only positive thing is then I find out where that country is. Oh my God. I go, oh shit, it's right there. Oh, really? Hey, I mean, this coverage every second, Trump may be going in, he's thinking, every second we're hearing about it,

we didn't hear anything during World War II. Dwight D. Eisenhower for the second day, looked at this guy and said, no, he'll decide in seven minutes. Everything was secret. And now, and I call bullshit on- I call bullshit. I call bullshit on the breaking news.

Yesterday, breaking news five hours ago- You can't say breaking news. You've got to stop the breaking news five hours ago. You can't say breaking news. You've got to stop the breaking news. It's too, you can't breaking news. Trump made a decision 12 hours ago that everyone's talked about for 12 hours. We need new breaking news.

That's enough. This just in, two weeks ago. This recently in. I'm not. This is fairly true news. Before we go. I thought. What?

You look exactly perfect. No, don't look. I didn't fall down. I was trimming my trees and I got all beat up. You look great. Okay. I'm going to ask you. When is the premiere? The The actual premiere is the premiere? The actual premiere is the 21st, but when does it premiere? On Netflix, 24th.

On the 24th, right? 24th of what? I thought it was... Of July. It's so uninspired. July. One or the other. Shit, I should know this.

Maybe 24th at midnight. No, we should all know this. We should all know this. I thought about that. We should know this, but you know what's crazy that I found out? We should all know this. We should know this. But you know what's crazy that I found out? This is how would a baller move this is.

Netflix got the rights to Happy Gilmore 1 and it's airing it for the whole month ahead of time. Like right now, probably right now. So they're gonna air two and then one? They're gonna air one. Oh, air one is on now, not the grocery store. Air one. Air one. Air one. They're gonna, one. Oh, air one is on now, not the grocery store. Air one. Air one. Air one.

They're gonna, happy Gilmore OG, happy Gilmore. They're airing. Okay. Even though they. Yeah, cause the countries, they didn't see one in Thailand and stuff. That's right. I won't do the accent.

I think they're buying grownups too. Or grownups also. I think they can, it expires or something. I heard it's number one in India. Oh my goodness, that Adam Sandler, he is a chicken to pants. Wait, I'm asking about the premiere because I want to go, when is it?

It's the 21st. Molly was just asking, is David going? I go, that's her first question. She said, are you going to the premiere? And I said, I'm trying to. Where is it, the premiere? It's in New York. New York? It's in New York. What premiere? And I said, I'm trying to. Where is it? The premiere of why? New York. It's in New York. What theater?

Ziegfeld. Lincoln Center. Lincoln Center. It was originally going to be at Minus Square Garden or something. Cuckoo. But now it's at Lincoln Center. Really? That would be a plus. Yeah. That's a lot of confidence. Welcome. It's amazing. I mean, people love that people are excited for this movie. God, if you ever want to laugh, Julie, go look at the 90s.

I was such a premiere whore. I was at so many premieres. It was so embarrassing. You still like a party. No, Julie. I'll still walk into it occasionally when I leave my house, which is very unusual because I'm not much of a party girl. And there's Spade just sort of...

Not true. I haven't, I don't go out past nine anymore. That's not true. You don't know. When he's not doing stand-up. I do know, I've got a Google alert. Yeah, he's pretty. You have an air tag on my bumper.

We're Lockstead. When we, what? What, Lockstead? No, we're Lockstead. When we eat, to eat, it's like 5.30 or six? Six, yeah. We're done by 8.30 and I don't know. Yeah, but then he gets his little like,

gotta wander. No. The rats gotta wander. And then but then he gets his little like, gotta wander. No. The rats gotta wander. And then he's kept going. You're the rat too? Isn't Theo the rat? Theo's the rat. Theo's the rat. Do you know Theo?

He calls himself the rat. You don't know Theo? Theo Von? You've heard of Joe Rogan? Single. My son listens to Theo Von all day long. As a matter of fact, he sleeps to it. We should have had you in our movie.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Did I forget to give you a job? I forget to give you a job for no money where you would have to pay us a little bit. Because it's super low budget. What is this movie? Go on and plug your movie.

So stupid. How old's your kid? That one's 18. That'd be good for it. How old are the twins? They just turned 16. It's an R rated comedy. Yeah, it's right after Ali. R rated comedy. Yeah, but actually he said no, he didn't want big stars in it. Not even joking. But he let you in it? I let me in it.

You're the producer? We wrote it, yeah. Did you pay for it? Yeah. But we didn't try to get it made. We just said, let's write it. I don't want any movie star came here. We just made him to do it, but we spared him. I would have been negative. So who's in your movie? Most people you wouldn't know.

Bill Licknick, Tim Dillon. Tim Dillon? I knew it. Marshall Dillon's son. Why? Ask your kid. My kids, they will know. They'll know Tim Dillon. Tim Dillon? I knew it. Marshall Dillon's son. Why? Ask your kid. My kids, they will know. They'll know Tim Dillon.

They will know. They'll know Theo and Tim Dillon and maybe Nate Diaz from UFC. Oh, they definitely know Nate Diaz. There's a lot of UFC in my house. Well, maybe I'll go to that premiere, but there's a problem I know right now when you say it out loud. What? That I have a conflict.

What? You're playing? A gig. No, I'm going out for a golf trip. With who? You shut up, Julie. With who? I know you don't get like this, don't get like this. With who? The Arizona rats?

Stop tape. No, I'm trading all those guys for celebrities. All my real friends. Is this going to be Tiger again? Again, exactly. Last time you played, what happened? You played, he crashed. He crashed his car like 10 minutes later. It is your fault.

I said, are you going to, you want to go have dinner after this? He goes, no, I'm going to crash. That's not funny. It's a funny joke. He crashed, it was getting dark, he finished and then didn't even have the balls to ask where his number, I never asked a guy for the number. So he went home and I was like, that was super fun.

He slid into his DMs immediately. I did not. She did. The next day I saw the car upside down, I was like, oh. And I go, I didn't think there's any way he could survive that. When you see a picture of the car. Yeah, it didn't look like that. And I go, oh, and I was like DMing down, I was like, oh. And I go, I didn't think there's any way he could survive that. And when you see a picture of the car, and I go, oh, and I was like, damn,

and like, are you okay? Just say hi, just let me know. Just because I was with you. I'm like, I am trauma adjacent, and it's really important to attach yourself. He'll never go off for a walk again, and then three days later, he's already better than David Spade again.

I'm like, damn, he's already better than me. That's exactly what the quote was. Yeah, he was good. Well, wait a minute, did you say the quote on one of our podcasts? I was jealous of it, it was so awesome. You and Tiger are golfing, and he's talking to you about your shot.

You do your swing, and Tiger says, to you. Oh, we have two drones, 80 people behind us. I think Peter Berg might have been directing a little show about giving me lessons. The Friday Night Lights guy? That guy. I think it was him.

Okay, okay. And then, so it's so much pressure and he goes, well, let's try you out, let's just go to practice range. Why don't you try to chip one 150 out there to that flag. And I'm like, hey, you do it, boy. And then, cause he's just standing there. And I And I go chip and it hits about five feet away. And he goes, Oh, shit, are you good? Isn't that great? That's right. Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods about

shit. Oh, are you good? And I've heard which I guess we talked about in Superfly, which is now the fun that love it's told me that David's actually a really good golfer. I didn't know he never told me. No, I'm a little better than Lovitz, but Lovitz started this two years ago. Julie, I know your limo's waiting. No, my limo's not waiting. Tell me, are you going into the golf tournament? No, Lovitz is in the movie.

He's going to be at the premiere. Hello. He is. Hello, Julie. We're going to the last month. Where do you run into him? He was at a Clipper game. Oh, he goes to Clipper games a lot.

Well, he goes with a lot of other clubs. He goes to a lot of clubs. He goes to a lot of clubs. He run into him? He was a, it was a Clipper game. Oh, that's right. He goes to Clipper games a lot. Well, he goes with, with Gurvey. And, and, and, but according to Lovitz, he doesn't actually know what's going on. He just goes to the movies. He doesn't or Gurvitz doesn't?

I think Lovitz doesn't, doesn't care. Are you a basketball kind of? Love, obsessed. We went to your game. We did, you took me. And by the way, nicest thing you ever did. Are you a basketball kind of? Love, obsess. We went to your game. We did, you took me. And by the way, nicest thing you ever did, thank you. No. It was a Knicks playoff game.

It was good seats. It was Knicks. We did, it was a playoff game. Yeah, it was a playoff game. It was not front row. It was court or side? No. You don't want to be on the court.

Can't see as well. Yes, it was. And it was way down at the end where it was sort of with the cameraman, like it was sort of buried. But Julie, you say it yes, and then we'll figure it out later. Okay.

It wasn't. We got free tickets once to go, I probably sat courtside because it was like an agent thing or something. But you actually went into your, your tiny arms went into the very deep pockets. Oh, I bought some. The short arms went into the deep pockets

and you bought, and they were great seats, but you were like. How embarrassing. I remember you sitting there going, fuck, they were expensive. I thought we'd be closer. I was like, this is close, this is amazing. They were 5,000 each.

I remember that. They were incredible. I was like, where are we? Anyway, now what about, who did I have call you on your birthday? Do you remember this? Are you kidding me? Okay.

Stevie Nicks. He had Stevie Nicks call me and send landslide into my answering machine in New York. He dumped me on the same answering machine. Okay, okay, well let's, we'll cut that part out. So, you know, potato, potato. He really loves him with that answering machine. That's pretty cool.

Julie Bowen, you know her from Modern Family. You know her from Ed. You know her from Joe Somebody. She did? Yeah, just casually like this. I would, it was crazy. It was, that was a baller move. Okay, that was.

That was a huge baller move. That was better than our nine throw seats. Great female rock voices in history. Yeah, we went over this. Stevie Nicks. She's up there. But there was one that I didn't get that I think was also

Anne and Nancy Wilson. Janis Joplin. I said that. Janis Joplin was more hard rock. Yeah. But we never had a voice. I said Anne. But Janis was never, and Anne, that was gonna be, it was gonna be a short-lived experience.

It was, but we do have, we have it recorded, what she was. Right, we have it, we do, yeah. But Stevie Nicks is kind of the voice of the 70s. She's the greatest. And still can sing. Yeah. Oh yeah. She can still fucking sing. It's amazing. It's not like when you feel bad,

sometimes they trot people out and everybody's clapping and you're like, oh my God, why are you doing this? Now here you go again, you watch your freedom. Sing it right now. No way. As Stevie Day. No, I can't, I cannot sing.

I just encased you. David will, I am too like insane. Cheeto was my hero. I remember seeing her behind the music. Remember those horrible behind the music? Oh yeah, yeah. She talked about how much blow she did and how she had to get crew members to blow it up her butt.

And I was just like, that is commitment. They won't even give me a Diet Coke. No, her doctor said if you do any more blow, you're gonna, it's gonna, like the membrane between your nose and your brain or something will bust and so she's like, all right, it's up the pooper. And I thought, wow, I always just thought she was sort of an airy fairy.

That's kind of clever in a way. This is off limits, where else can I put it? I thought when I didn't know enough that it would go up her butt, I go, how far does it have to get to get to her nose? Oh my God, Dan. I don't wanna think of that. That's so long. But if it gets there, it's worth it, but fuck.

Your curiosity. Cause that is like, well. Yeah. Those are called booty bumps, aren't they? They were when I did them. All right, let's go. What? We gotta go. All right, them. All right, let's go. We gotta go. All right, fine.

All right, thank you there, Julie. Dana's got his whole paper and everything else. No, you're great. We're gonna have to have you on again because that's the trick. We'll talk, I can't talk. We'll talk safe stuff. We could never run out of stuff to talk about.

No, we save stuff. Save it, save it. Hey, hey. David should have a talk show called Save It. Don't record this, but what about you with a little daytime talk show? Yeah, you should do it. Why don't you take over Kelly?

Kelly Clarkson. Take over Kelly Clarkson. You could do it. If you wanted to do it, you would have been qualified. You know what? I hosted for Kimmel once and I had dinner with you after. I was never into, like, I was shaking. It is terrifying.

And you were like, yeah, yeah, I'm doing two next week. And I did two last week. And I was like, I did one and I was- No, it's terrifying. I had to lie down in the restroom floor and there's hair and makeup and people. And I just, I lay on the ground. Someone took a picture of people just walking over me.

They're like a leaver. I was like, I can't go out there. I can't do it. Because now you can do it as easy as you did one, but they throw so much shit. It's like hosting us now. They throw so much at you. Once you do it, once you go, okay, now I know when to be nervous

and when to get, I gotta pace it out. Just, you know. Pace out my nerves. It was a nightmare because the first night I did it, I didn't really practice before Quentin Tarantino was coming out, the guests that I wanted, and they got him. I had to do like 10 minutes of coming attractions.

And it's- Oh, promos. And Bing Flico will be playing. Oh no, you got one thing wrong and you do it over again. So it's over and over. The person who was coaching me had headphones and took them off. The audience just get very tense.

Wait, was it Kimmel? Kimmel. Yeah. You know, I'm hosting Tarantino's in the wings and it's just unraveling. You go like this, hey, Bob and Ginger in Portland. We're gonna meet, we've got- Right, right, don't they do those after? Julie Bowen, no, they do them during.

But if you miss one pronunciation then you gotta do the whole thing over again. I would, he was not very good at my job hosting. I did drop to my knees, scoot over across and kiss Jacob Lordy in the middle of our interview. He told me he had a crush on me. Well, that's good. Oh, he did?

It was his first talk show. That guy's a stud. And I was, I'm fucking not. And the only thing I got right, they were like, you're done and no retakes. And I was like, that means I was boring. No. Yeah, it does.

No. Like, I didn't, I did everything like, Of the whole show? Of the whole show. No, most talk shows, it did everything like, the whole show. The whole show. No, most talk shows, it's hard to be just hysterical on a talk show. I had a richie and he fucking stiffed me. What do you mean?

He just went like, Yeah. He looked at you. I go, so you're, this new movie. And then, well, it was, it was sort of my fault. But he like on purpose did it. Go on. And afterwards he goes, that's funny, right?

What did, what happened? Like he didn't want to answer anything. Oh, he played that's funny, right? What happened? Like he didn't want to answer anything. Oh, he played that thing. He really laid into the whole bit. Yeah, he's like, I don't know. Where in England? I went over there once. Are you? And he's like, yeah, that whole area. And they look away and I'm like...

And then I go like this to the audience, I go, Hey, why don't you ask me something? Because I was getting nowhere. And then Kimmel later said, that's about as hard as it's ever been. If I had him, I would not know what to do. Oh my God. Wait, Kimmel watches the ones that we- Yeah, they showed him this disaster tape.

Oh no. I said, was I supposed to make out with Guillermo before the show? And they go, no, that's just like a hazing thing. I love Guillermo. Guillermo is my comfort animal when I'm there. I swear to God. He's a sweet man.

All right, you can open your presents, Davey. Oh, now it's over? Okay. I feel like this podcast took place in Nevada. We can stay on for this one. Okay. We're still recording or are we off? Open the big one.

Kettle bells? Yeah, you're soft and weak. Those are unwrapped for two years. That's all you, man. It's breaking my quads. So delicate. Is it an X-rated gift? Is it an Alice?

No, it's like an actual gift, dum-dum. Oh, it's gotta be a picture frame. A picture. I want a picture. It's a picture. It's a picture, I'm from Montana. Oh! All right, so we just walked Julie out.

She was always funny, always very articulate. You were right, I think she should have a talk show. I did think she's like made out of a factor. You know, I wonder if that's in her future. She seems perfect in that demographic, photogenic, funny, can be very smart. Were you shocked? I mean, I'll just ask the audience,

was it a little shocking at times? We just let it go where it went. Yeah. And, but she had a great laugh. Well, I couldn't help my presence. I'm the worst present getter too. I'm like this. I just throw one down at a time.

There's no thank yous in the middle. It's just like, okay. And I'm like, all right, thanks. And the stuff that you don't see is there was a lot more chatter and all kinds of stuff going on upstairs. Oh yeah, we just shoved her off. She, I thought she was a lot of talking. That's a reason she's a good guest.

I'm glad we started with her, a lot of fun. And I think everyone liked it. I learned a lot. I learned a lot too. And I also forgot a lot of stuff. I got dumber. That's kind of sad. Oh, and I'm excited about Happy Gilmore.

So Happy Gilmore 2 comes out July 25th. July 25th. If you guys have ever heard of Netflix, that's where you get it. Yeah, so we'll see you next time. And if you want to email us a question, you can do it. Anything in the world, because we are blabber mouse from somewhere. And the address is? Odyssey.com.

Fly on the wall at Odyssey.com. Fly on the wall at Odyssey.com. Fly on the wall at Odyssey.com. Fly on the wall, one word lowercase. Yep. Fly on the wall, one word lowercase. At that little thing. A U D A C Y. Fly on the wall at Odyssey.com.

Cause hotmail was taken. Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app. Give us a review, five star rating, maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.

Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung-Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweetek. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hilary Shuff,

Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us at flyonthewallatodyssey.com. That's A-U-D-A-C-Y dot com.