Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Kevin Nealon pt 2
Episode Date: January 29, 2025Adam and Eve, nestled underwear, and iconic sketches with recurring guest Kevin Nealon. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy ... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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I have a bit of a cold, so I might sound a little different.
I don't wanna frighten the children,
keep them away from the screen.
But you were still funny, we just did Kevin Nealon,
and Kevin's an old buddy, and just one of the group,
and what a crackup, always throwing away lines.
Any time you talk to him,
whether it's on this or in real life,
just always funny. Yeah, he's always, I mean's on this or in real life, just always funny.
Yeah.
He's always, I mean, I met him in San Francisco.
He started coming up and doing standup where I'm from.
We're all friends.
And then the first gag he would do is like, he's leaving my kind of apartment or he's
in the driveway in his car and he's talking to you like just, yeah, so anyway, whatever.
In the meantime, he is raising up the, uh, the, uh, rolling up his window, rolling up the window and he's talking to you like just, yeah, so anyway, whatever. In the meantime, he is raising up the,
the rolling up his window,
rolling up the window and he keeps talking.
And that would be a lot of stuff.
You call it dry, clever, acid humor.
But yeah, he's always dropping these throw away lines.
They're really funny.
He never pushes.
And one of the funniest people you'll ever meet.
We were on Lights Out one time
when I had all the Weekend Update guys on,
and I do a monologue, and at the end of the monologue,
Kevin goes, hey, because I would let the guests
interrupt my monologue.
He goes, hey, what are you gonna wear for the show tonight?
And I go, I think I'll just wear this.
He goes, oh, okay.
And then there was a bunch of,
there was a plant on the table in a little bowl
with a bunch of leaves.
And I asked him a question during the interview
when I sat down and he goes,
hey, are you gonna finish this salad?
And leaned over to get it.
But all that stupid shit, it sounds like nothing.
And it is, but always cracks me up.
Yeah, we go over some SNL stuff
and what's going on with him.
It's just, it was a fun, easy podcast to do.
Road gigs, everything.
So talk about his hiking with Kevin on YouTube.
And he's in the new Happy Gilmore.
He'll tell you all about it.
Here he is, Kevin Nealon.
I remember when my son was born,
we had like a thousand video pictures
and then as he got older,
it was less and less just back to me again.
Back to me.
The kid, you're like, I got a feel for you already. We don't need you too much, but look at me. The kid, you're like, I got a feel for you already.
We don't need you too much, but look at me.
I'm back everybody.
Back to me.
By the way, Dana, Dana, I was going to tell you, I went to Kevin's house for I think his birthday, maybe.
Is this the house you're in right now, Kevin?
Yeah, it is.
This place is a decent layout.
Dana, let me tell you, this guy knows what's up.
It's a good crib, man.
It's dope.
Yeah.
It's dope, baby.
It's sick, man.
You've been over here, it's bad.
It's sick, man.
Some of those-
It's fire too.
It's fire.
It's fire, it's sick, it's dope, it's poppin'.
Some of those stairs.
Oh, I remember I'd hurt my knee
and I was like,
Gervitz, can you carry me down the stairs?
You know what you need on your stairs?
And this is just, if I come over,
the little electric chair that goes up the stairs.
We have an elevator.
Oh, didn't know that.
We don't let guests use it though.
What's it for?
Does that help?
It's just for the other staff, it's staff.
Staff. Yeah, dude. It's just for the other staff, it's staff.
Staff, yeah dude.
Danny, you got a staff out there?
I just think, if you have an elevator in your house,
it's a sign of good fortune.
Both of you guys have it.
Do you got anyone have an escalator?
Yeah, why don't you have an escalator, Kevin?
We have a people mover.
It takes us from the driveway into the house.
But this also serves as a department store.
So, you know, we need the elevator.
Oh, okay.
It also serves as a flagship store for...
I can't remember the name of your show.
Is it Off the Wall or Fly on the Wall or Fly on the Coat?
No, we don't even, we don't know.
No one knows.
There's super flyers on YouTube.
Off the hook.
I thought it was flying the coke for a long time.
Flying the coke?
I thought it was flying my soup.
All right, let's get started.
I like this, Kevin.
Kevin, I like when he goes, all right.
You know what I mean?
You're like these like radio guys,
you know, you do those interviews, press,
and they start talking.
You don't even know if they're on yet.
And you've been talking, giving them some really good stuff.
And then they go, okay, let's get started.
You're, oh.
Yeah, they go, oh, okay, we're gonna patch you through now.
Yeah.
Patch me through?
You got two minutes left.
Then you hear honk, honk.
Here we go.
Hey, we got Kevin Hill.
He's so fucking crazy.
Yeah, I mean, you know, it's a,
I remember one time,
I remember the one time.
No, I remember one time I was in Tampa
and they had one of these DJs,
or radio personalities.
Personalities.
That are just morning zoo kind of guy, high energy.
Yeah, you know.
And I go in there and I had, I was going through an A-hib episode at the time
and my heart was irregular. And if it goes too long, you got to have it shocked back,
you know? And I don't have that anymore, but at the time I did, and he goes, how do you get rid of it?
I said, well, you gotta be kind of shocked back,
you know, at the paddles.
And he goes, oh, that's crazy.
And then like a minute later,
he's got an air gun under his desk.
He sounds off the air gun.
I almost fell off my chair.
He goes, did that work?
Did that work?
Did that work?
Oh, he's trying to actually get you back to life
and shock you.
Yeah. And a medical procedure that could have killed you.
It could have killed me, but on the way back to the hotel,
it actually did go back to the regular sinus, as they say.
What does that mean?
Sinus, it means regular rhythm.
Oh, Dana knows these terms.
I'm not steeped in that, but I, I know people go through it.
I, I know how the Zucru messes you up.
Are you steeped in it?
Steeped is good.
Steeped in it, you know, comprehensive knowledge.
Isn't what T does, it's steeps.
Hello?
I guess so.
Let's go to the phones.
Let's go to the phones. Let's go to the phones.
Let's go to the elevator.
Now, Kevin, when you go on gigs,
Kevin, you travel a lot, I travel a lot,
Dana travels minimal,
but let's say you're on these gigs.
Sometimes I do press ahead of time
or I call to fluff up a gig, you know, to say, hey,
you know, I'm playing at this, you know, Indian casino or whatever.
But do you ever get up anymore like the old days and go in?
Sometimes that's hard.
Once in a while.
I kind of went away for a while, you know, after the pandemic.
And now they're slowly bringing it back in.
Hey, you know, we got 10 seats left.
You think you could top it off
by getting up at four in the morning?
I know you're on LA time zone and stuff,
but you know, really would help get rid of those 10 seats.
It would only be one in the morning for you
and you're like, right, well that's either late or early.
Either one, I don't like it.
You would not have even gone to bed yet if you were in LA.
Yeah.
Sometimes I go in and they go,
now we've got it dialed in where you call ahead
and then you can do a phone or, yeah.
And sometimes it's, they go, this is for Friday.
So act like it's yesterday was Thursday.
Yeah.
And when I say Friday, I mean, Friday, two weeks from now.
Act like the election's over and you already know who won.
But yeah, I don't, uh, I don't particularly like going in anymore.
I'm more of the mindset.
Look, I don't care how many people in that.
I don't want to get up.
Oh yeah.
That's too, that's a big ask.
I mean, listen, my fans, they know where I am.
Come, come and find me.
Yeah, yeah.
Can you believe it's been, well, for me,
I got on SNL about 38 years ago,
and it's been like 30 years, 29 since I left.
I mean, we could be the grandparents
of some of those cast members that are on now.
And we might be-
Oh, okay.
I was just there like 10 weeks.
I was working with people in their mid twenties.
Yeah.
And a couple of them, we did the math.
We checked out certain biographies and I said, I could be a grandfather.
We never got confirmation, but it was in the realm of possibility.
Did you, uh, did they build a ramp for you to get them to church?
but it was in the realm of possibility. Did they build a ramp for you to get up and do Church Lake?
Oh yeah, Church Lake dress was a little tight,
but I still got it on and zipped it up.
It's been so long, Church Lake is probably a virgin again.
I don't know about you guys, but that's been such a center stone for me, that show.
And you constantly think about, you know, Lorne Michaels, what he would do, what he
would say to you, you know, if you feel like, oh, this is hacky stuff I'm doing, I hope
it doesn't get back to anybody.
And it was so long ago.
It's like, you know, when we were starting to do comedy, it's like your show of shows
had been a shorter
distance of time between when we first started
and where we're doing now.
And I'm speaking for you, Spay.
For me, it wasn't.
No, it's closer.
Did you know that it's closer now from SNL till right now
till SNL backwards to when they invented the telephone?
I was trying to put something together in my head.
Adam and Eve is closer to when we got hired.
Yeah, yeah.
Were Adam and Eve white?
Question.
It got tense.
It got really tense.
Depends who's reading what from what source.
They could be any color you want.
It depends on where that garden is.
It was in Beverly Hills.
Yeah, was it a red apple or a green apple?
Yeah.
Lot of controversy.
I think it's a story.
It doesn't sound like paradise
if there's a reptile on a tree taunting you.
There's snakes everywhere when you're having lunch.
And what if you're allergic to that fig leaf?
Oh yeah. How do you explain that?
Yeah.
The thing they don't explain is that the sex between Adam and Eve got really hot.
Once they knew they were naked and they were kind of embarrassed and sort of illicit,
you know,
changed the whole dynamic.
Aliss, don't you think?
Well, do you think that they really had that, I forget the word, but you know, concern that
maybe their genitals might be showing and the only person that's going to see it is
the other person you want to have sex with?
Is someone else around except for the snake.
No one had had sex at that point, right?
They were created.
So, yeah, I don't know, this is really...
The snake was like, this is no competition for me.
I'm not steeped in this, guys.
No, don't keep doing steep now.
I like the word, you called it out.
I just want to ask you guys a question
because I have a really wicked cold,
but I have a gig tomorrow and I'm gonna fly
and I can't clear my ears.
And one time I did this and I have cartilage damage
in one of the ears, it's very painful.
Let me just turn your head, let me look in your ear
and see if it's clear.
Let me see.
You can't do it.
Do you do the thing where you blow your nose
and hold your nose?
I don't do that, I'm scared of that.
Yeah, I am. Well, have you do the thing where you blow your nose and hold your nose? I don't do that. I'm scared of that. Yeah, I know.
Well, have you guys ever canceled a gig because you didn't feel well or
have you just always bucket up?
You know?
Well, I would tell you, I was just in Kansas city and I got a stomach bug on
the last day of my last gig there.
I was in bed all day.
I was over the toilet on the toilet and I just forced myself to go, you know,
to do the gig. It was horrible. I got so many nights. Good question. I could go forever.
One time I was with Bill Maher and Tommy Davidson. We had a gig up in Buffalo, New York, an outdoor
like theater. And I don't know if I was supposed to go in the middle, but I had a food boy
in the back, but I couldn't get up. I had to lay down on a cot that brought a cot over.
And I said, I don't know if I can do this,
but I didn't want to fly all the way up there
and not do the gig.
So I asked the stage manager, I said,
would you put the cot out on the stage for me?
And I'll just do my act from the cot.
I told the audience, said, you know, I'm really depressed.
I gotta lie down.
And I did it from the cot on my side
and they were laughing like crazy and I got through it.
And I thought that worked so well
I'm gonna start bringing that cot with me to other gigs
It worked like it didn't work at all. I brought it
When you feel good, yeah, I sometimes feel like Frazier in the 15th round
Getting up off the stool if you're really really sick. Well, there's two problems with Dana's situation
if you're really, really sick. Well, there's two problems with Dana's situation.
When do you cancel? Because it's scary to cancel.
By the way, if I was not doing the work tomorrow, I would cover for Dana.
And the other thing is, if they wanted me, but the other thing is, you don't want to make it worse.
Like if I fly, I'm making it worse. If I go, you know, you don't want to hurt your ears
or you're like, I'm not supposed to fly with sinus stuff
because it might pop.
Who cares if I get everyone sick,
but no one cares on my flights if they get me sick.
Everyone's coughing and sneezing.
I'm like, does anyone give a fat fuck anymore
about like just the five of them?
Do I wear a mask on the plane?
Because this is an all coach Southwest plane.
Yeah, maybe. That three, I'll be packed in with a lot of people and I don't know if I'll be confident,
but look, if I have this voice, I'll be like, well, isn't that special?
People get scared. Yeah.
Here's what I noticed that when I have a cold and I don't want to do something with people, it's, you know, I'm not interested in,
I'll tell them I have a cold, but I don't want to affect them.
But if it's something I really want to do,
and I'm obvious like Dana's got a cold,
I will say, I got an allergy.
I got an allergy.
Don't worry about me, I got an allergy.
By the time they figure it out, you're out of there.
So you've never canceled, you've had some wicked nights,
but you've never canceled a you've had some wicked nights,
but you've never canceled a gig.
I've only canceled because of like a TV gig or a movie.
Yeah, yeah, but for illness you never canceled.
Or I had a good massage lined up.
That's really bad.
No, I don't think I've ever canceled for illness.
You know, I did San Francisco last year, Danny,
your hometown, or your outskirts town,
and I was getting sick and my doctor said,
this is sickening word that makes you sound old,
polyps in your nose.
Which polyps, let me explain to you what they are.
I don't know what they are, but really,
he said they're 100% blocking you and you're gonna keep,
you can't not be sick anymore
because you've waited 10 years to get an operation.
So I'm at a gig and I'm sick and I didn't mind
really being sick and just finishing the tour
but you couldn't really hear me.
So I've never had that laryngitis which is so weird.
But I don't wanna cancel a gig and it's day of the show
and people are coming so they bring in a doctor
like Pink Floyd to jack you up.
Sometimes they can do that. They give you steroids.
I don't know what it is, but you're,
right after you're like John Bonet,
you're like, ba-da, ba-da, ba-ba.
Somehow it clears you up.
It didn't work and I still don't want to cancel.
So I go out there and I'm like, hello.
And everyone's like, oh, like right away.
They're like, oh no.
And I'm like, I didn't want to cancel.
So I'll give you 4%.
And they're like, Jesus Christ.
So I literally was like, everybody be really quiet.
It's hard to hear me.
So nobody laugh until the end.
And just, I'll just say my jokes flatly.
And then at the end it'll count.
And they're like, great.
Well, how did you know that you had,
when you have polyps in your nose,
I never knew that,
I mean, do you get a colonoscopy through your nose?
Is that how they find out?
My nose is, my nasal cavities
are connected to my butthole somehow.
Like it goes all the way down.
So they go up through the butt through your nose?
They can go either way, yeah.
Oh, nice, nice.
Might wanna go through your nose first.
And then I go, yeah, I go, aren't polyps in my b-hole?
And they go, well, they're just, I don't even know what they are.
I have a picture like mushrooms growing there.
They go, it's blocking.
And so I went and I did the gig, but I was glad I did it because it still went pretty
good because it started to come back a little.
And then, you know, I get that operation, which is terrifying and really harder than
they said. But then I didn't get, which is terrifying and really harder than they said.
But then I didn't get sick for a year and a half. Nothing.
Man, look at us talking about a fib.
No, we can't talk about this. We cannot. We cannot.
No, I had gigs in the 80s because you do eight shows a week, 90 minutes a set. And I would get
like a lot of antibiotics, a lot of, you know, plus I, I,
I've been on my tongue once and was bleeding profusely.
Welcome to the stage.
You know, I mean, you just, you do get funny things. You go, well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What about this?
We do this a lot.
I mean, Spade and I've talked about getting injured in hotel rooms, like slamming, getting up to go to
the bathroom in the middle of the night and slamming your shin into a table, right?
You've had those, Kev, I had a hematoma and I couldn't put weight on it.
It was so painful.
You know?
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was in Spokane, Washington, um, doing a gig and I, I heard that Chevy Chase was
doing his Christmas vacation kind
of a tour, you know, questioning all this stuff.
Oh yeah.
He was staying at my hotel.
And so I texted him, see if you want to go have a cup of coffee because we're at the
same hotel.
He goes, well, I can't.
I fell last night, hit my head on a knife stand.
Well, that would happen to anyone when I was a lot younger though too, because it's just
another hotel and it's very easy if the lights are down.
Yeah, I mean, I never thought that Chevy Chase would get hurt falling, you know, because
he did it.
He was like a big faller for a while.
Yeah, I mean, that's how he got hurt actually.
And you wrote back LOLOLOLOLOL.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, you know, I've never gotten hurt in a hotel room like that.
I just slammed my fear in the door.
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I have a question for you, Kevin.
This is not part of this.
Yeah, just outside the podcast.
Oh yeah, a couple questions.
One is-
I don't trust you.
I want to hear a little bit about the Swatch Tour
because I was so jealous of it when I was on SNL.
I don't know if I was on it yet,
but I thought these guys are going on the road.
I mean, I don't think I was on SNL yet,
but I knew about you guys got a tour
because you were doing well in the show
and like three hilarious guys, you, two and Dennis.
And then you played Arizona, I think at the Celebrity Theater.
I don't know why I remember all this.
I just remember a swatch,
and I think I remember what you were getting,
or I heard a rumor, and I was like, oh my God.
And what a fun thing.
Even I don't realize then the road is hard,
but three funny guys, swatch tour,
and that was in the summer, was it, Kevin,
and between seasons?
After our first season, it happened fast.
Kevin and I only had one season, right?
When we had that.
I mean, actually that tour is still going on right now.
But Dana and Dennis dropped off.
I'm canceling tomorrow.
It's just you?
It's just me now.
I've been going since then.
That's so funny.
I still call it the Swatch Tour.
That's the first time I think something was sponsored
in my head, like a comedy tour.
I thought that was a big deal.
So you guys got more money because you did,
you have to wear a Swatch?
No, but we got Swatches, I think.
We got Swatches, yeah.
That was really exciting.
It was exciting because they played clips from SNL
before we came out and the music, you know,
Gee, Smith Band, the SNL band.
And it was just really high rev and people would go crazy.
And that was, you know, before anybody was kind of doing big.
Yeah, a theater was like not really what I'd heard of.
Maybe Leno, maybe.
And what was the order?
Do you remember, do you guys just flip-flop?
Yeah, yeah.
I would go in first and then I would never get off.
So it was just me basically.
And you would do...
They wouldn't let me get off.
I would just get, you know, encores.
No, yeah, it was me.
I think Dennis and Dana, maybe they switched it up a little bit.
I think we switched off a little bit.
It was me because I was a feature player on SNL at the time.
Oh, yeah. Never like following
either of you. I wouldn't follow any of you guys. I don't want to follow Dennis or Kevin. Yeah. You
want a nice, very nice, clean opener. Not too funny. Yeah, don't make them too good. You know,
maybe Kevin, when you get on, did you tag team it? You should have brought up Dana and then you
should have done your Hans and Franz there.
We might have, I don't even think we had come up
with Hans and Franz yet.
We came up with Hans and Franz basically on that tour.
Yeah, that's right.
We had not done it on SNL.
Yeah, yeah, we were in, I think, Des Moines, Iowa,
and I was watching Arnold Schwarzenegger
on some up close and personal interview,
and they were asking him what he does
when he gets in
the town. I can't do a good on all but he goes, you know, when they get into town, you know,
I get into the nice light college shirt. And then they go into town and I come back to the hotel,
they slip into the nice like college sheets. And so Dana and I started doing that the whole trip.
And then somehow I just evolved into Hans and Franz, maybe two pathetic, defensive,
you know, losers who never looked their way
in their life.
They're still my favorite.
I have to say what I laugh at the hardest for myself that I was in because they're clearly
have a lot of mental health issues.
They're extremely paranoid from the schizophrenic.
They're on this rinky-dink show and they're threatening, no one is saying anything to them,
they're threatening imaginary enemies
that they will come to their house
and do all these exotic torture things to them.
And no one cares about them at all and they're just mad.
There's probably only like a dozen 15 year olds watching it.
They think it's like thousands of people.
And then you look so fucking doofy with your hair. Did you have separated teeth or
anything? Yeah. Oh yeah, we would paint them. Oh yeah. But the night Kevin and I were on the phone
just hatching it out and we were just riffing around with it somehow. And then Kevin said,
and if you don't believe in, if you don't think, you know, and that just made me laugh. So then
we did that for an hour and we knew that was really cool. Just did their paranoid. If you don't think, you know, and that just made me laugh. So then we did that for an hour and we knew that was really cool.
Just did their paranoid, if you don't think properly pumped up, think again because you
ought to lose, you know what I mean?
So that-
Yeah, yeah.
And I remember when Arnold came on to be in one of the Hans and Franz sketches, we were
a little nervous because we were making fun of him and we went to his dress room and his
name was on the door.
His name was so long, it went onto the wall a little bit.
And we knocked on his door and the door opens up
and it's full of cigar smoke.
And we could barely see him sitting across the room.
He's got a big cigar in his hand.
He's got the script rewrote.
And he looks through the cigar smoke too.
He goes, hello fellas,
the Honda's about to do the accent?
You know, Arnold, stylistically, Arnold reminds me of Trump and Trump reminds me of Arnold in that Arnold just is so smart, but he makes things very simple.
You know, if they, if they do your voice, all it does is spread you out there.
And he, we talked to him recently and he said
that us doing that really helped kind of solidify the voice of Arnold. And so we were fearful
he might beat us up, not literally, but be mad or something or disappointed. But he was
telling me, and it is a smart way to go if someone does an impression of you. And I think
he got a great out of it.
You think they're both smart but
don't know how to. Street smart. Who Hans and Franz? No. Well Arnold, the
reason it was so funny about Arnold is like and it's all he's always got it
together you do your workout, it's like this fantastical life yeah very simply
said and then Trump's like it's gonna be beautiful,
it's gonna be great.
I mean, it-
I don't know what it is yet,
but it's gonna be great when I figure out what it is.
So self-promotion and very good about that.
Self-promotion.
Oh, we had Arnold on a podcast
and then Dana did pushups, remember?
That was good.
That was like a little clip that went around.
I could do pushups now if it will help us somehow.
They asked me to do Elon Musk on Saturday Night Live and I did 30 seconds of it. They did pretty
good prosthetics and I was him kind of at a mega, I'm Dolk Megaw and I'm jumping around.
And then all Elon tweeted was or exed.
Dana Carvey sounds just like Dana Carvey.
I thought it was kind of funny.
You know?
That was a slam.
That was, he was trying to slam you.
Oh, that was a slam?
I think so.
Yeah.
Like it wasn't any good.
I do think if you do an impression to someone,
it can be a little disjointed for them because
is that how people see me?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, anyone getting an impression, Tom Petty I did,
I made him look like he was deformed in the face,
just like stretching my face around.
But you know, and then I always think when you meet him,
they're gonna be so excited, like,
oh, aren't you the guy that makes me look like a fool?
Aren't you the guy where I, you benefit and I don't at all because I'm
the guy you're making fun of.
And I'm like, yeah, isn't that great?
I wouldn't, I did.
Oh, go ahead.
I was just going to mention it because I hadn't seen anyone else do that.
You did Brent Musburger.
It was a famous sportscaster.
He may have just retired or something, but, and you just pulled your eyes down
or something.
Yeah, I pulled my eyelids, I pulled the sides of my eyelids down. That was an Al Franken
idea right there.
And just kept them there as you're talking.
You held them?
Yeah.
Oh, during the bit you held them?
Instead of prosthetics, he did it manually and just held it.
But, you know, talking about people getting mad at you for doing them, I used to think,
you know, they're all getting mad at us for doing it but people actually, these actors love it because it gives them the attention mostly
and I remember I did uh, but not always. I did Michael Bolton once where I was singing, trying
to sing like him. My voice was all raspy and I had, I got bronchitis after that for like a month
from doing that voice. So, I go, I in Hawaii like you know, maybe eight months later, ten
months later and I get into the jacuzzi in Hawaii and Michael Bolton's on the other side.
It's just me and Michael Bolton and his wife at the time and my wife at the time. And he
did not say a word to us and then I'm walking back to the hotel room and she said.
He didn't say anything?
He didn't say one thing.
And I said, I wonder why he was so kind of standoffish.
And she goes, well, you did make fun of him on SML.
I call that stride.
But he ended up doing a lot of funny stuff.
Oh yeah, no, he's great.
He's great.
Yeah, I mean, he really makes fun of him.
I was probably misreading it at the time,
but he was, cause you know, he's had such an ego.
What about when he tried to drown you?
Great voice.
Well, he did let me up at the last minute.
Was he in the Feed the Chickens fundraiser sketch?
I don't know.
That was where David did, I did Dylan and you did Petty.
Oh, is that that?
It was all We Are the World.
Yeah, yeah.
It was We Are the World.
I was either Dave Perner, Kurt Cobain, or Tom Petty.
Those are the three I did in those type of sketches where we're like doing a fundraiser
where everyone, great idea, just everyone plays a celebrity.
I think it was Bonnie and Terry Turner.
You must have played some celebrities.
And Farley was Wilson Phillips.
He was Wilson and Phillips.
You know, the funny thing about Farley doing that is that the other two were actually just
extras, which is very rare on our show.
We had someone just play, it could have been Christine Zander or something, but these throw writers
in there sometimes, but it was just purely extras
that looked like the other two.
You know, when I-
Kevin, let me ask you a question.
Okay, go ahead.
Oh, I was just gonna, I'll go ahead.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was just gonna say that, sorry,
can we get a word in for a minute?
I would see these posters of you and Farley
and you look like you were 12 at the time.
And I always think to myself, I wonder,
and the same with John Candy,
I think I wonder what kind of work would be done
by those actors now if they were still alive,
and if you were alive as well.
And I always wonder what that would be like.
You know, Farley in Tommy Boy,
I still have his jacket, this like kind of plaid jacket
he wore on the poster or in the movie.
And it's not that big.
He wasn't that huge then.
Only because I was such a twig,
it kind of made him look bigger.
But he probably at the end weighed 80 more pounds.
That jacket fits you at the end weighed 80 more pounds.
That jacket fits you at the time.
That jacket fits me now.
But yeah, I think Brendan Fraser was it, Dana?
He came over and he put it on and it fit him perfectly.
And Brendan Fraser isn't big.
He wasn't in his whale costume.
He was just regular.
Was that a whale costume?
Was that prosthetics?
Remember when he played whale?
Did he gain weight for that? I don't know. Yeah, that was a massive prosthetic. He told
us for a full hour. I don't remember. I'm like. That was an intense movie. But I do
think that Chris, Chris's golden age, you know, Tommy boy and that year he had on SNL,
you obviously, uh, was he guest hosting when he did the, uh, man down by the river or was that, it was even part of the cast?
No, he was in the cast.
I think he did it.
He did it again when he, when he hosted right toward the end.
And he was really sweaty.
And, uh, Bob Odenkirk wrote that, correct?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh huh.
Yeah.
Yeah. He would, he would, he would get really sweaty. I remember the last time I saw him, I was up in the Brosten office and he was in a conference room just sitting at a long table and I think he had
like his hair dyed pink, it was a mohawk or something and leather jacket and just sweating,
a real fidgety. Yeah. Let me guys ask you a question.
Seinfeld went crazy when I always say this. Let me ask you a question. Because there's all these things they're doing with SNL because the 50th documentaries, this and that,
they put me in some room and they had on one board tons of sketches on cards, all-time great
sketches. And then they had a classic board and they go, okay, we want you to pick what
would be the first sketch you're trying to do an all star show right after the monologue.
They already had a cold opening. I couldn't remember what it was. Oh, host monologue.
So the first sketch up and that and I saw Van down by the river, but then I'm thinking
you can't have that first up because you can't
follow it. You know, so you want something really up, but that people could follow.
And you, you know, what did you say all the great, I actually, because I, not because I was in it,
I thought it was not hysterical, but incredibly entertaining. And that was Wayne's World with Tom Hanks as the roadie
and also Aerosmith and we played with them.
Like it'd be a big energy boost,
but it wasn't like cowbell or van down by the river,
sketches that, you know, tough to keep going in a way
that take a little time.
Maybe put update in between them.
I like the concept that you're picking
the best sketches very hard to look at the board.
Trying to create the greatest show of all time.
Yeah, it's an interesting.
One of the sketches that I loved was,
and I have loved a lot of them,
but it makes me laugh every time.
It's making me laugh now.
I think it was called the Belisi wheel sketch
when I was with Kirsty Alley going to the Italian restaurant
and all the Italian, you know, Schneider and Sandler.
Bill Cantori maybe.
Yeah, maybe that's it, yeah.
Bill Cantori.
And they were all doing this Italian overly affectionate,
you know, kissing and licking her face.
No, that's what they do, honey.
They're Italian.
That's it. That was kinda weird.
Yeah. One, two things on that for me and I totally agree because it was it killed like it was a home base
sketch and it was a restaurant sketch it just crushed and Kirsty Alley I was supposed to lick
her face. You did somebody licked it? No no and she was totally cool do whatever you want look at
any of they don't care about anything you know she, very cool. I just want to put that in there. And then the moment where my character goes over as
Schneider and Sandler are coming in, hardly dressed, that kept escalating. And then I
put Victoria, stood her up, put her down on the table and had her legs over my head and then kept
talking. Now, that was probably the build of that whole sketch.
That moment where I was just the passenger in the joke, nothing I was doing, legs over
my thing.
Come on, I'm so proud of you.
Was one of the biggest...
Try the burrata.
And it's in the background too.
So it's not like right in front.
It's in the background.
Open the shoulders.
It's not forced.
It's kind of casual.
Was Sam the way a jockstrap when he was a waiter?
But that was the funny thing is when we're walking away,
they all come up to the window,
Sam is got a Speedo on, it's not just there,
they're all looking at that like they're puppies,
you know, wanting to be adopted.
Yeah, we're just dressing our faces.
Okay, it's called Il Cantori, it's on YouTube.
Il Cantori, the other one that comes to mind is a head wound Harry, the Jack Andy room.
When Dana, Dana's wig, they had put some like red syrup on her so the dog would lick it.
And the dog gets pulling on it, pulling his wig.
When you go off, Dana's trying to hold onto it.
I was again, I was just a passenger in that. And they did put more, did Schneider tell us
they put more, it was like baby food or something.
But they kind of held back on the dress show.
And then they put a ton on the prosthesis,
the fake, you know, rubber bloody head I suppose they had.
And then I knew I had, the sketch was going so strong
that I made the, I just did not want the wig to come off and have it be.
Yeah, so I just held it at the temple and that just made the tug of war go on for a minute or something.
And so you can't beat a dog.
Yeah.
Doesn't know what's in the sketch.
Yeah.
It just really is hungry.
Trying to fuck with you.
And so.
It would have been hilarious if he actually took the wig and ran away.
Yeah, that would have been fucking awesome.
Just the title alone.
Well, I could have gone to that.
Yeah.
Just the title alone, head wound Harry.
Massive head wound Harry.
Oh, massive head.
It makes me laugh so hard.
With the little song, and I was talking to Sarah Sherman and some of the younger cast
members and I said, I love a little presentational sketch where
the song kind of tells you everything you need to know. And they said that's kind of out of fashion.
I'd want to be a grumpy old man. Okay. But it was always very relaxing when you see a little song
and a thing and then you go in the guy actually has a massive head wound. I don't know. I would
do more of that personally, but maybe it's out of style.
Like toot toot.
Toot toot has had one.
Toot toot is the cat or even Hans and Franz.
Or even, um, he's Lyle, the effeminate heterosexual.
Feminine, heterosexual.
There's a song, wasn't there?
Everything is conjectural.
He's Lyle, the effeminate, heterosexual.
I had a hard time with that one because, and again, this is the early 90s.
It was very edgy.
I heard it was Tim Burton's favorite sketch.
But I'd met a hairdresser who I just thought was gay and he was straight, you know?
And so that there it went from there. But I couldn't
really do the voice because every time I did it, it sounded like Church Lady to me. So I had to
come up with a different one. That's inside baseball. Kevin, so you had Subliminal Man
on updates several times. Well, that was the first sketch I ever did was Mrs. Subliminal
in the first show that we came out of the Giga
and I was terrified.
As you know, you see you're standing on the stage
or Belushi and that kind of thing.
When was that on in the show, by the way?
It was, I'm not sure.
I think it might have been in the first half,
but I remember waiting to go on and I'm terrified.
And we're like 10 seconds out from commercial and Lauren Michaels comes up to me and he
puts his hand on my shoulder and he said, are you sure this is what you want?
Action.
What a psycho.
He always has little quips and he doesn't realize they're just like bombshells to whoever is about to go on.
Everyone's so scared.
I believe he believes, and maybe it does in a way,
kind of relax you.
I mean, once you get used to it,
not on your very first show,
but Lorne always does stuff like that.
It'd be a good thing if this show was actually like good,
you know, and stuff like that.
So it's fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I would love to see a compilation
of everybody's first sketch.
It's kind of gauged the level of nervousness
that they're having.
Yeah, that's interesting.
But not good.
No, it's not a great idea, but it's an interesting idea.
Yeah, yeah.
What was yours?
I can't even think of any line in, oh, you know what mine was? Casualties of War when I did Michael idea. Yeah. What was yours? I can't even think of any line in,
oh, you know what mine was?
Casualties of War when I did Michael J. Fox.
And it backfired.
Oh, so you had a great.
Backfired because they forgot to put me
as a feature player in the opening credits.
So people thought it was Dana or Mike,
because I had a wig on.
And they didn't know it didn't sound like my voice.
So they were just like, who's that guy?
Elon Musk thought it was you.
Elon Musk thought it was you.
Yeah.
He said, I saw that bit.
It sounded like David Spade.
Exactly, David Spade.
Yeah.
Oh, and I was like, oh.
So yeah, Kevin and I, I mean, to have a sketch,
say it was before update and stuff,
it was a big thing, you know.
Especially, we had a small cast and our very first show,
everyone got to do a lot of stuff, right?
Yeah, it was only like eight of us, right?
I think it, yeah, total.
You guys had four cast members, right?
When we first started, I think it was five maybe,
or number six?
Yeah, I was a feature player. And then the next year, Lawrence said I could be
either a cast member or if I wanted to be a writer,
or I could remain a writer.
And I mean, you know, but if I became a cast member,
I wouldn't have that writing title.
Oh, that's right.
They take writing away.
But we all still wrote.
I took the cast.
I took thing on the cast. I took thing on the cast.
So you were in the cast.
Yeah, they're doing a documentary.
Uh, one of the SNL there's five of them on Peacock.
Uh, and I guess one of them is just writers, which is great.
But I asked the person who saw it.
I said, is there any cast members in there who just were writing, but didn't
get credit because it is, it's, you get used just were writing but didn't get credit? Because no, no, no.
It is.
It's you get used to it, but it is just sort of funny.
People say, who wrote that thing?
You're like, well, I wrote 90% of it.
You know?
Right, right, right.
It's crazy that you don't get that.
I hosted one of those.
It was called the Weird Year.
And that was in 1985, I think, that cast, 85, 86.
Yeah, yeah.
That transitional stranger.
Yeah, Anthony Michael Hall, Robert Downey Jr.,
all talented actors, but I don't think the synergy
was there between the writers and them.
Synergy.
You know, they don't let it steep enough, you know?
Yeah.
Well, there's Groundlings and Second City and stuff,
and then there's just stand up
and stand up and then actors.
But stand ups, you know, we're trained to get a laugh.
And so we automatically are trained to have some brevity to the setup and things like
that.
Where are the laugh points?
But I would have loved to have gone to something like groundlings.
Didn't have it when I was starting out
in San Francisco.
That is my regret.
But you know, who would have thought,
all I wanted to ever do was stand up comedy.
I wasn't even thinking about acting or improv.
I just wanted to be a stand up.
But yeah, in hindsight, I would have much rather
been in the Groundlings had I known that
Yesenal was gonna come after me.
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I have a question before we dump Kevin,
but Kevin, what was the movie you did with Sandler?
You've probably done a handful with him, right?
Yeah, I've done like 13 Sandler films.
Shit, the one where you had plastic surgery.
Oh, that was called Just Go With It.
Yeah.
And they looked like they, it looked pretty real.
What did they do?
Well, that was four hours in a makeup chair every morning.
Oh, it was? It had to be, because it looked good.
For four days, and they only used me for one of those.
Oh, really?
Yeah, one.
But it was a really funny character, because I had so much plastic surgery, and Sandler
was a plastic surgeon, and I would see him at a party, and I'd come up to him, because
I was addicted to plastic surgery.
And I'd go, whatever his name was, one more, one more cap, just give me one more cap, you know,
implant, captain plant, you know, I'll take one, you know, and then I'd laugh and the
water would drool out of the corner of my mouth.
Oh yeah.
So, it could move my face, you know.
That's so funny.
But yeah, that was, but I did a lot of those films with him and I remember I was, I got
the script for Grandma's Boy and I read it and I thought, I don't know, man, I don't think I've done a lot of those films with him. I remember I was, I got the script for Grandma's Boy
and I read it and I thought, I don't know, man.
I don't think I wanna do this one.
It's like really crass and you know,
Sandler wasn't even in it, but he was producing it.
And so I decided not to do it.
And the next day, Sandler called me,
Neil, and I really hope you do this show, this movie.
Cause you know, if you don't do it,
it's a big hit, I'll feel bad.
But you know, if it's not a big hit, no one will see it anyway.
You did that.
That was Nick Swartz and yeah, and yeah.
And it was Jennifer Aniston in the Plastic Surgeon film with Sandler.
That was that was a big hit, I believe that movie.
Yeah. Yeah. Just go there.
She's grandma's boy.
I was in and I probably did Kevin's part that he passed on. I was that movie. Yeah. Yeah. Just go there. He was, grandma's boy I was in
and I probably did Kevin's part that he passed on.
I was a waiter.
Well, no, I didn't pass on.
I ultimately played Mr. Teetle.
Oh, you did.
The boss, yeah.
I did too and I jinxed Adam.
I mean, I think the films were perfectly good
but they didn't outperform.
And the first one was Little Nicky.
All right. And I played the first one was Little Nicky. All right.
And I played the ref with a high pitched voice and then Jack and Jill where Regis and I were
kind of hanging out because Regis Filman was in that one too.
They just like small parts.
But Jack and Jill, I guess I think it has a resurgence now because you know,
it had a lot of funny stuff in it.
You know, Happy Gilmore is coming out. Oh yeah, did you do Happymore? Yeah yeah I just finished doing that. Oh you did. That's gonna be
amazing yeah that's gonna be crazy yeah yeah that was fun. I think that movie uh is just sort of
iconic at some point it became iconic so people really want to see it. The budget was the GNP of Guatemala.
It really was, man.
I've never seen, it was almost like an invasion
going into the, you know, I mean,
there was like a hundred trailers and cards everywhere.
And, you know, prime rib wild salmon.
How many cameos in it or how many character actors are in it?
I keep hearing people are in Epi Gilmore too.
There's a lot.
There's a lot of like athletes and cameos.
It's a Guinness Book World Record of cameos.
Love it, you, Marcelo, Hermesino.
Yeah, I mean, it's just a lot, a lot of people.
A lot, a lot of people.
It's gonna be a lot.
It's gonna be a huge smash.
We're gonna do things, we're gonna take over.
Yeah, it was very interesting when he goes,
in Panama, we're taking back Panama.
I mean, it does get a little like,
he even outdoes Trump, but we're taking it back,
we're taking it back.
I mean, what is Panama supposed to do?
Panama goes, what the fuck's going on?
I mean, the guy is just, what a character.
We'll see where it goes.
All right, Kevin, I think we should let Kevin go
because he's been a really good sport today.
Kevin Nealon, yeah, as a friend of the podcast, came in.
Well, yeah, you had a fallout.
So you called me and I was in the next studio over.
I said, sure, I'll come over, you know,
and filled in for that person.
And you don't really see that on podcasts that much.
Hey, can you come on over?
We just said somebody drop out, you know,
like they used to do on all those talk shows.
Oh yeah.
They call me on a lot of these talk shows and go,
you're our favorite guest.
Can you be here in 12 minutes?
I'm like, oh, this isn't a fallout, is it?
They're like, no, no, no.
One time Richard Gere fell out and they called,
they were calling around and Schneider did it.
And then he goes, I'm just gonna do it as Richard Gere.
So he did the interview and just answered
whatever he thought Richard Gere would say.
Yeah, it bonded.
Anyway, no, it did good.
It was funny.
I remember we had SNL, you know,
our studios was above Letterman floors.
Oh yeah.
Whenever somebody bailed out on Letterman,
they would call me to come down.
And it got to the point where I really had nothing to say,
nothing prepared.
So I thought, I can't really do this anymore.
I never thought I'd be turning down,
like a spot on Letterman.
Conan too, when Conan took over.
Yeah.
You guys might've been gone by then, but yeah.
But Kevin, you're on the road.
So go see Kevin on the road.
Yeah, kevinneal.com, my tour schedule.
I have that, don't forget the hiking show, man.
Hiking with Kevin.
You both did it.
It's fucking great.
It's on recently.
So you can go watch on YouTube.
Is that where it is on YouTube?
It's on YouTube and I have that book out.
You both, you know, I exaggerate.
My Brushes of Fame, I exaggerate.
I exaggerate.
Two great titles, I exaggerate
and then under that Brushes of Fame.
So you- My Brushes, yeah.
Is that a memoir as they say or autobiography kind of?
It's not really, but it kind of turned out to be one,
because I talk about Johnny Carson doing that,
and how we met, you and I, and you and me.
And yeah, so it kind of became kind of a memoir,
but it's like these 60 paintings I've done, caricatures,
and on the opposite page, a little anecdote about that person.
Oh, that's tricky. That's good.
If you would you be scared to do a caricature of me because there's nothing to exaggerate
because I have perfect features. You're in the next book, by the way.
Okay. Yeah. Hold me a spot because a lot of things about me that are really interesting.
Also, you look a lot like Richard Gere though in it.
Also, you look a lot like Richard Gere though in it.
So what it's gonna, if it better not be Richard Gere, it better be me. I need my own page.
Yeah. Well, I think Dick Gere is a great actor. I really like Dick Gere. I don't know.
They always have weird names. His son's name is Forth, and I knew Forth Gear when I used to be, anyway.
So-
How about the daughter?
Daughter is Winter, right?
Is that true?
Winter Gear?
Winter Gear.
Winter Gear.
That's good.
It's not even a saying.
Now, Kevin, so if we go on YouTube, hiking,
start with my episode because we walk on flat ground
and then also you can watch old episodes and new ones, right?
That's good, that's the good part.
Yeah, it's all on YouTube.
There's like five seasons of them.
I've done over 140 hikes.
You used to do Bill Bird, I see that.
Yeah, I did Bill.
It was like two days before the fire went out,
Will Rogers, Bay Park.
What's all this brush?
Why do you have brush?
Yeah, one day and I go ahead.
That was fun.
You know, it drives me nuts.
There we go.
Cyclone fences.
What the fuck?
Get a regular fence.
Drives me out of my fucking mind.
Who eats pickles? It's a fucking cucumber.
Go fuck yourself.
Before you send me off,
I don't know if you'll do it with your cold, but...
I'll try.
This one makes me laugh
more than anything Dana's done.
I love them.
You're doing pretty good.
Going to go down to get a little lobster
down at the pier this afternoon.
Okay. Our friend Dennis is is in a very relaxed time in his life.
Let's put it that way. And it's really fun to talk to him because he's just very chill.
Yeah. Okay. Sammy came on.
He still calls you Sammy or refers to you as Sammy, because we did the two Sammies in 1986.
That's got you.
Yeah, no, he seems very relaxed and chill in his spot,
in his place right now, good for him.
And where are we at?
He's not desperate and thirsty like me out there
running around doing gigs all over this fucking town.
And this country.
All of the country.
Oh man.
Well, Kevin. Do you take advantage of social media?
I mean, do you feel like you should be out there like, you know, more clips?
In an illegal way.
I do clips.
I don't really do clips in my act because most of my stuff is a little longer than,
you know, I can put
longer clips, but some bits I guess I still do.
Some of the old ones I put up, some are not as relevant, but it is good to just have clips
floating around.
Someone catches something.
Yeah.
You don't do audience work, crowd work.
I don't.
And I don't know if I even love when I see these clips because everyone's doing them only because that's the clips you put out to come see them
so they don't burn their real material.
But then they look like a crowd work act.
So some people go there expecting crowd work.
Well, you can do a crowd work act.
I mean, it's okay now, film five shows
and take the best crowd work parts
and just call it crowd work.
I mean, that beats writing an act. Yeah, that's what Matt Reif did.
Kevin, you're very good at that. So.
Well, you know, what a lot of people don't know is I do the same crowd work on every show.
Is that right?
I do the same, you know, whoever the person is, I'll do the same lines each time. Looks like it's
spontaneous, but no, no.
But, oh, so you don't wanna record it
because then you can't use it.
No, I use the same three people in the audience.
I take them with me on the road, they're shills.
Oh, okay.
And it looks like it's spontaneous.
You know what I do, Kevin, I go up.
It's like a lot of work to travel with that.
It is, and the cot, I bring the cot with me too.
So it's a big, it's a pre-production deal.
That's a big to do.
I was talking with Brian Regan once, he did one of my hikes, and he says, everything in his act, it's the way it's a big, it's a pre-production deal. That's a big to do. I was talking with Brian Regan once,
he did one of my hikes, and he says,
everything in his act, it's the way it's supposed to be.
There's no spontaneity or anything.
If he spills a little water, that was planned.
For real?
It was Brian Regan.
Yeah.
And one of the funniest comics out there.
I know people that do that, like,
when they laugh in the middle of a joke and then I see them
all week and they laugh at the same spot every night. Oh my god. Yeah I know but it is an act.
That's what they call it an act. It's a magic trick. You're like hey. Well you're pretending
you have to that you're remembering your material. Oh yeah. Yeah it's trying to fool the audience. I mean, it's yeah, yeah. I used to know everybody
when they took a swallow before their line or you know, it's and you know, here's the
one thing I don't do and this is just for me. It's I don't call a bit a joke. Like if
somebody laughs, they'll say, oh, you know that last joke. Because that's like,
it's like a magician saying that was a trick. No, I thought that was real.
I thought that really happened.
No, that was a trick.
So I never call it a joke.
And so that way people realize I'm not a comedian.
They go, well, maybe he's not a comedian.
Maybe that's actually happened to him.
This is just an hour of things that happened to him recently.
Yeah, yeah, no. It's a lot of...
Well, when you say, you know, actually, let's say two weeks ago, I was driving.
Yeah.
Let's make it two weeks ago.
Yeah.
And I've done all the tricks.
I've done all that stuff.
Yeah, it's all good stuff.
Some of your early stuff was, I remember seeing this one at the Comedy Magic Club.
You know, they say live every day like it's your last. So every day I take out an insurance policy or whatever it your early stuff was, I remember seeing this one at the Comedy Magic Club.
You know, they say live every day like it's your last.
So every day I take out insurance, or whatever.
You stay on the house.
I stay on the phone for three hours
making funeral arrangements.
And then I just wait.
Just take it literal.
So every single day.
Get on the phone.
You have to do that because it's your last day.
Isn't it funny, and I know this happens to you too,
someone will come up and they'll say,
in fact, Spade did this to me once, he goes,
hey, you got a really nice camera, right?
It's one of those black ones.
You know, remember that Spade?
And then you don't remember, and I go, that's from your act.
That's what I'm saying.
People remind you, and you go, oh, I don't know that one,
but I guess so.
I saw Letterman a couple of weeks ago,
and he was telling me about it, how much he loved
this joke that I used to do and he tells it to everybody and gives me credit.
I said, which one was it?
He goes, well, you talk about how Abraham Lincoln used to walk to school every day in
the snow.
But what they don't tell you is, yeah, but he was late every day and he loved that joke
so much.
And so a week later, I tried it in a club
because I don't remember it.
If I tried it in a club, crickets, nothing.
Yeah, bomb.
I like when you say I stayed in a hotel,
it was nestled in the hills,
it always sounds better than wedged.
It was wedged in the hills.
They actually, they put me in the honeymoon suite.
I stayed with a nice couple from Nebraska.
Yeah.
Yeah, those are good.
Yeah, you know, a hotel can be nestled.
It can't be wedged though, on a hillside.
Underwear is wedged.
Underwear can't be nestled.
You know, you never pull your underwear out of your crack
and go, oh, that was kind of nestled up there.
Yeah, it really got nestled deep.
Okay, let's leave on that one.
Dana.
It was steeped.
It was steeped in my butt.
The word of the day was steeped.
Thank you, Kevin.
We'll do this again in a week.
Thank you guys.
Thanks, Kevin.
It was fun.
Thank you, man.
Okay, bye guys.
This has been a presentation of Odyssey.
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Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman
of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro.
The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.