Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Kimmel + Free Speech Perspectives & A Shared Love Of Airports

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

Dana and David unpack the now-apparently-over Jimmy Kimmel saga and segue into a free-speech chat. Then it’s off to Dana’s happy place—the airport. They wrap with a whirl through the weird-news wire, including the hair monster that lives underground. Buckle up. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the show. Obviously, we didn't get to talk about Jimmy Kimmel last week. We'll talk about them this week in a minute. And a few minutes, we're going to weigh in on that entire situation. And I don't want to brag, but probably our point of view will be the wisest, maybe. Or just most important. Most important. So anyway, to more important is, hey, how is your weekend co-host?

So when I did this show this weekend, it was for farm to veterans. So, you know, it's a charity show. in Chicago, this guy Tom Tran was on the show with me. He went first. And it's funny because he had to kind of host the whole thing. And he showed us these glasses he had on. I go, that was a mouthful out there. He goes, oh yeah, just put these glasses off and the teleprompters in them. Have you seen those? Oh, yeah, yeah. Very hip. I have not seen those. Is that what Mark Zuckerberg's working on? Something like that were. Oh, the meta glasses are a miracle, really, for people who are blind. just make you compose. My mother-in-law is 94 and has trouble seeing, so she'll hold up a can

or something and say, meta, what's in there? And it'll read the ingredients. Oh, I thought it was just like, meta, what's on Facebook? And it would show it right there. I think it's all that too. I think you just walk around the glasses. You put down your iPhone and just walk around with them. You just go, meta, you know, show me CNN.com right now. And it will show up and you'll hear it. Yeah. So I was also reading up on Jimmy Kimmel and a million other things on Yahoo News. Oh, that's a good one. And the funny thing is there was some dopey story.

So I went to their comments. I've already made one move. I went to the comments. They love that. Okay. What are people saying about this? And it could be something, you know, about the poop cruise or it doesn't have to be anything important. I'm just like mindlessly drifting through.

and people have thousands of comments about different things about the poop cruise or whatever. Millions. And then I go, oh, I have a funny joke I'm going to put in. And I click on it and says,

would you like to join our crazy community if people like comment on Yahoo News? I go, no, thank you. I mean, they're making another thing I got to do. I'm going to really. So then I go,

I know, listen, I do have a lot of free time. I either have too much free time or none. But when I have too much, I don't still have the time to click it. and log it and they give up password and give them my fucking email.

Immediately you got to give me your email for anything. Oh, yeah. So they can fucking carpet bomb you. Land and grab. My thing is like sometimes one of the things I subscribe to anyway, hey, would you like to weigh in, Dana? It's just sort of like, whoa, hold on.

Hey, Dana, you've got some stupid shit to say. Dana, what do you have to say? And I'm a celebrity with a small C, but what is it like, hey, Brad Pitt, want to make a comment? I don't know. Hey, Bradley. Yeah.

And I'm going all that way to make a comment about something dumb that no one cares about. I go, but man, thousands of people are doing it. Yeah, millions. I'm going to go out on a limb. Yeah, I sound condescending, but it's like, I like when people say the word wrong. I'm condescending. I want to get orientated. Wait, orientated is a word.

I think. Yeah, orientated. Orientated, but there's another one people say that I don't know. reorientated. I would just say this about all this stuff, and I know it's not a newsflash, check yourself. If going online and being angry and posting and doing all this stuff makes you happy, go for it. If it makes you sad or furious, you might want to tamp it down a little bit because these algorithms, these machines, first they got us all hooked in like 2010, 11, 12, and it was just sort of to buy things and go here and there.

Now it's to incur rage. And the algorithms know now that rage is the emotion that makes them the most money. So we are all being- The top five emotions on the board, rage, number one. Number one. So we're in a science fiction movie where these robots are making us really, really mad. I know this isn't new, but check yourself, man. I see people who are so in a state of hysteria about politics or anything or climate change

or whatever. But, you know, once in a while, I'll give your brain a rest. That's my hot take. That's a fucking boiling take. All right. Should we talk about Jimmy Kimmel? Why not? Jimmy, who is a friend of both of ours.

That's why it's hard to talk about these things because, you know, he's a buddy. I have a picture of me and Jimmy in my house. Do I have one of me and you? Yeah, Barry turned like this. I don't really go out much. There's not many of me photos of me. I'm underground, man. I'm just kind of a regular person.

I got a picture me and you in here. Don't you worry? When people say to me, oh, my God, it's Dana Carvey. I go, calm down. I'm pathetically normal. That's the phrase that get, really? Yeah, I'm pathetically normal. There's nothing here for you.

Jimmy Kimmel, though, you know, I think also it's good to take a knee sometimes, not comment right away. because now we're commenting after his monologue last night, which I thought was tremendous, you know. I really thought it was perfect and it was emotional. I mean, I'm reading it here. And this really about his thing. Yeah, read some of it because I didn't see it.

Yeah, about his statement. Because when there's a shooter, each side wants it to be, you know, from the other side. You know, that's the competition. That's politics. That means you're all the shoot, you know. all you guys are bad yeah that's the game going on that's a quick thing so he made a statement he said i that was really the opposite of the point i was trying to make so he said but to some that felt felt ill-timed or unclear maybe both and for those who think i did point a finger i get

why you're upset if the situation was reversed there's a good chance i would have felt the same way so that's a you know what's the word apology i don't know that's a kind of a pointed you know hat and hand but that's that's definitely he's he's it's clear thinking i think yeah you know and it's it's both sides idas which is great and um you know and before i go into the the whole fcc part of it i was really moved i saw the the charlick's widow and you know i'm familiar with you know, tragedies and things like that. So she really moved me and she did Jimmy Kimmel.

I did hear you said that, yeah. Yeah. So she's, if you believe in the teachings of Jesus as I do, there it is, that's it, a selfless act of grace, forgiveness from a grieving widow,

and it touched me deeply. That's Jimmy. If there's anything we should take from this tragedy to carry forward, I hope it can be that and not this. So I thought it was just, and he was emotional about, that because that thing you know in the end of the day we're all americans somebody got

assassinated you know and ideally we just come from it rather than political points we just we just sort of take a grace it's sad and move on yeah sure yeah everyone has their own thoughts about it but yeah i agree i mean and the freedom of speech thing is is is so murky and muddy and as is you know well it's not a hot take for us to say we're all for freedom of speech Sure. You know, the Ku Klux Klan could walk down streets and say whatever they wanted. It was when I was a little kid, it was like, oh, you have to allow speech you really don't like for freedom and speech. I don't think they do that anymore.

I think there's hate speech and then who decides what's hate speech. Right. Someone that you disagree with. That's hate to me. It's not hate to you. Yeah. And also people, I mean, when you're in SNL, Charles Rock, it got fired for saying fuck. You always, like you say, there's layers to it.

Like when I go on talk shows, I don't say whatever I want. I say, I'm going to talk about these things. They said, well, I'd rather you know, why don't you talk about this? Why don't you talk about this? I wouldn't say that. And it's just so woven into your every day of what is free speech. There's no, I mean, if some boss above you, you know, people get fired and things like that. I was glad Jimmy didn't get fired.

He got sort of a slap on the wrist. and it's FCC, then it's affiliates, then it's advertiser. You're answering to so many people. And if they don't agree with you, then I think everyone has a boss. And they say, I don't like what you're saying. So, and he's very strong in his opinions. So he says them, but they took a pause and then I guess they fixed it. But I didn't say anything because I thought, I don't think he's going to be fired for that.

I think they're going to say, hey, come on, let's stop. No, it's basically. Basically one line. It is a, there's different, different layers to this, you know, just the first one, the chairman of the FCC, which is, maybe it's archaic or whatever, it's public broadcasting. It's ABC, CBS, NBC. It's not cable. It's not John Oliver. It's not, it's not HBO. Oh, it's just the, it's just those for the public good. But when the guy came out, and I would say to him to his face, I say, when you say, regards Jimmy Kimmel's, whatever that's going to happen to him, we can do this the easy way or the hot way, it's like, weird. That's, when do those guys talk anyway? This guy's like on podcast. I'm like, why am I seeing this guy talk? You don't see him a lot.

Am I crazy? Right, no, just be the FCC chairman. And he kind of steps in shit when he talks. It's like, oh, now we get to analyze everything you said. Right. And so that push buttons for both sides, really. Ted Cruz came out of it. No, no, no, take it easy.

Let's slow down. And, you know, I was, when I did the Dana Carvey show, I like to bring things back to me, but this is 97 and we're after home improvement and we did some Clinton with teats and something that crushed the ratings and offended a lot of people. So we immediately started losing advertisers. We immediately started losing affiliates.

And so we lasted eight episodes, affiliates. I know. I don't even know what they are. Stations, you know. Stations in cities, chat. Yes, stations and. And so a lot of those stations, I don't know, some in Portland in Seattle didn't do it, but I thought in conservative states, they might be more prone to that.

But I wish the FCC chairman hadn't said that, you know. But I think that Jimmy's talk last night, I think, kind of put it in a completely different tilt, a different conversation. Yeah, I would say not as much of an apology. So he didn't really have to say he's apologizing. It's more of just a level-headed. discussion. He was probably

heated the first day when he was doing his monologue, of course. We all do that. Yeah, I mean, I looked up this a little bit and it kind of started like I did because there's two kinds of

I looked it up, took five seconds, but like we do parse our word because I never want to be up there like hey, I'm on TV and my opinion really matters. That's just me personally. So I'm very,

very careful about teaching the audience. I'm always going for the laugh. I'm not saying this in a self-congratulatory way because sometimes you go, I want to weigh in on that. And we do in our own way. But it kind of started in the early knots. John Stewart, who's brilliant at the Daily Show, really started going after Cheney and Debia and all that. And that was a very political show, very funny. And then it continued. And it's for us from the Carson era, you know, we were just looking for laughs and this and that. And Greg Gutfeld does the right, you know, so this is a whole different era we're in. But I try to think the last time the country was completely united. I'm going to

give you a chance to guess. I would go back to 9-11. I don't know. That's it. Oh, no, really. Okay. politics went out the window and you kind of have to remember that when we don't have buildings falling down you know yeah we're Americans first and we argue and we you know we go crazy at each other but if if someone attacks us that's when we go okay hold on hey but i i would i would go out and limit say it's still a great country overall i'd rather be here than other countries but that's controversial so I'm thinking, if you say America's a great country, that will light up Twitter and stuff. No.

Fuck you, man. I'm meeting it in the context I'm saying it. I like you're even explaining it. It's so funny. It's true, though. People get so mad about it. With Amex Platinum, access to exclusive Amex pre-sale tickets can score you a spot trackside. So being a fan for life turns into the trip of a lifetime.

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Okay. I have a tragically stupid bit I could do for you, but it's too much of a change up from this. And I have a bit that I thought of that I'm going to give to you because you're the guy. Okay, good. Give me that first, and then that'll bomb and then I'll be.

I'll do the one. Well, I was laughing, you know, at the, your Jason Strait. Oh, yeah, the clip we had last week. So it's funny that he just says the title of the movie and that's kind of basically, I'm the beekeeper or, you know, I'm the working man. So I thought, what if he had an unwieldy thing? I'm the baker, and then you did it after me, I'm the baker down the street who specializes an apple pie. It's very unwieldly, but he has to say it menacingly.

I'm the baker down the street who specializes an apple pie. Oh, I'm the, you mess with the wrong baker because I walk down the street at the cobbler store. And it's kind of kiddie corner from where you, well. Well, but say especially, I specialize in apple pie. Like you, I'm going to kill you. No, I can't remember the whole bit, though. But I'm the baker down the street. There you go.

You do it better anyway. I don't think so. I go to Joe. I go Michael Kane immediately. I'm the baker down the street. And I specialize in apple pie. Okay. Like it's a threat.

Yeah. That was a beekeeper's good because, like you said, keep it fucking simple. We did some pickups on busboys this weekend because there's some, there's some questions when you see it like questions we try to answer like why did you do this movie what is this movie I don't understand this movie oh clarity clarity clarity yeah so we did some clarity clarity and it was kind of fun to be back in the wig snug it on a little wd4 my head wd 40 doesn't go like it's got that little straw does it it's got the straw

it's got the straw but it doesn't go No, no, no. But the squeaky wig does. So they got an attached your school, then what happened? Then what happened? Don't be so unenthusened. Then what happened? I did some pickups.

More clarifying, not reshoots. Just like, oh, this. Now listen, is it fucking Casablanca? I don't know. What's a good movie? Is it Inception? We've got to answer all the questions. Christ sakes, what are we doing here?

What are you making? Dumb and unbelievable? dumber. What is this return of the Pink Panther Part 17? What are you going for? Anything with Dennis. We can't go a goddamn show without Dennis. It's so great. I know. This is, yeah. All right, here's I'm going to do an act out for you. Ready?

This is, I watch those locked up abroad shows where you go through customs and everyone's trying to smuggle shit and they never learn. You know, you smuggle stuff in through the TSA. Okay, that's the setup, right? Okay, that's the setup. Got it. So the guy brings the suitcase full of like, we see on the,

I get alerted in my earpiece. I'm the customs guy, right? This is going to fucking bomb. I'm the customs guy. I love it. And then I get alerted. This guy's got in the x-ray machine 20 pounds of cocaine. So they walk up to me and I go, hey, how you doing today?

Friendly. And they're nervous. What are we doing here? Let me check out that passport. Okay. Oh, Brazil. Fun. A lot of cute girls there.

I wish I was in Brazil right now. It's a fun time. So what do we got going here? A little business trip, a little pleasure. I already know already. And he's like, oh, it's business. Okay. All right.

Well, do you mind if we take a little luxie in here? Just typical. We pull random people out. Just unzip it. Check it. You don't mind if I tell you. I'm sure everything's fine. Oh, boy.

Oh, my shoulder's so sore. You got to get a purple one. You know my friend has a purple suitcase. Zop, blz, blz, blop. Open it up. That seems fine here. Let me just dig through a little bit. That's all.

I know in my head he's got 20 pounds. Okay. Anything you want to tell me? Anything? It's all good. This is all good. Should I keep digging? It doesn't matter.

Oh, oh, you got a teddy bear here. Oh, any reason it weighs 80 pounds? Take them away. But I build up trust. I'm friendly the whole time. That's what they do. No, that's a funny observation. They do that.

What's going on here? You see a guy light in a bong. The guy's like sweating. You guys having a little party? I assume they're trained at some place in that pattern and probably their first attempt in class might be terrible. Hey, what are you doing? No, no, no, got to come in soft.

What's up? What they want to say is, this guy looks guilty from my racial profiling. Can you come over here? So they can't say that. So they go, hey, we're randomly pulling people that are drenched and sweat out of the line. I'm going to my favorite place today. I'm going to the airport. You are not.

Yeah. No, Dana. I love it. All shoes, keys, everything goes down. Oh, fuck it. Laptops, watches, belts, bap, bye. Dude, Heather made the mistake this week. She brought water.

What a criminal. Didn't you bring your water through? That's okay. I was going to refill it. She was going to refill it, but the guys I, like he caught the big fucking mob boss. And she's like, right, my water, I am. What do you want me to do?

Can I just fucking go? And he's like, oh, I wish it was that simple. Don't you remember 9-11? Not much. He's like, I don't remember them throwing water on anyone. So then she has to go back, dump it. Okay, here's the secret. Because I saw it in Denver.

My mother-law, we were going through Denver Airport. My mother-law, he walks fine, but it's like seven miles to get to the gate. Oh, Denver's. Yeah, ridiculous. You know, I have, you know, so anyway, so my wife and are behind her, and we have a guy with her, and we're just blowing through doors. We're just going everywhere. We have a guide.

A guide taking us past this, waving at me, everybody's happy. Go, go, go, go. That's the way to go through it. Otherwise, it's like, what's, how are you guys doing today? You know what the worst part is, the guy goes, like if you get a greeter and they go, they get like eight bags, they go, okay, beep, beep, the guy goes, hey, I got us. little cart because it's about a mile and I go no I want to walk we got an hour he's like yeah huh and I'm like you can ride if you want no I'm gonna walk with these guys then I tip the lady because she pulled her card up that I didn't ask for anyway then we walk and the guy's like

all he's thinking is why does this prick want to walk and I'm like because I just I'm going to sit for six hours dude well also you you're going through and you're David Spade you like miss america or something they're all walking hello i'm on tv yeah beep they're always like man get the fuck out of the way we got whoever this is yeah is the guy from that thing you saw on that thing while over that time you know you know him come on man oh heather like this one we did our reshoots the other day or whatever we called him and we're at this little beach bungalow i don't want to give the whole movie away um already heather knows the guy that The guy that rents you the place, this is all, our favorite term, inside baseball.

Meanwhile, it's never about baseball. So he goes, he's a guy, nice looking guy with big hot dog bags under his eyes, right? This is other people's words. So, perfectly, well, he's an older gentleman and he owns the four little shacks on the beach. We were looking for sort of inexpensive. Oh, I see. Little apartment. He bought in 1958.

Go ahead. Honestly, he's had it for 40 years. Yeah. So he paid 30 years. So actually it was like a good color blue. It looks like some such an artiste. Anyway, it just looks cool. And it's the kind I used to dream of staying in, a little tiny crash pad, go to the beach every day.

So he's there and he goes. And of course, they rent it so there's supposed to be nowhere near the premises, right? There's supposed to be nowhere. Anyway, he's right in front. Yeah, and he's right in front. He's supposed to get lost, pal. We're paying for this. Which one of you people's famous?

That's what he's. And I go, and we're all just looking at all. I go, well, we all are. We're all just trying to make a movie. No one's really that famous. And then Heather goes, oh, he was on Sine Live. And he goes, oh, zero's in on me. Okay.

Really squinting and trying to soak me all in. Nothing's registering. Like not enough. But okay, maybe I'd take your picture with me. What's that accent? Yeah, I don't know. That's what he sounded like, no. I don't know.

I was somebody to say, hey, did you know that, that Dana Garnie guy, that Cherseille guy? That guy was a kick in the pants. No. No. Then you are a kick in the pants. But it is not. It's, he's just an older landlord. And then he goes, right. I take a picture with you.

I go, take my picture with me. Yeah. Okay. So we take a picture. Then he's like, and I know he's, now he's starting to send it around. Like, who the fuck is this guy? And then he goes, what's your name? And I tell him.

He's got. His accent's getting more Mediterranean. It's a little all over the place. No, I like it. And then he goes, spell it. It's getting more humiliating. I'm like, well, we got to shoot in a second, but yeah, here it is, blah, blah. Then I leave, and then he's got Heather, and now he's grilling Heather on.

Why am I famous? What have I done? Am I really famous? What that guy do? That guy doesn't seem funny to me. Oh, spell my name three times. And then still when I leave, he's like, you know, and I'm like, Why do you need the spelling?

You're going to fucking tag me on TikTok? Just don't worry about it. You got the picture. Show it to someone. At some point, someone will go, yeah, okay, I know what that guy is. Would you guess that that guy is retired or working full-time? He's retired. He's renting all those out.

Yeah, and he's happy as a clan. And then each little beach bungalow has like two beat-up chairs from Tangs made of Wicker for the last 40s. years and one of the crew guys is sitting on one and I see him it's way down the end he's like this I know he's like I don't like it but I'm not going to say anything he's like the beekeeper I'm the beach keeper I attack celebrities with stupid questions beachkeeper is great I'm the beachkeeper and I know I'm the beach cape and I'm like can someone give this guy is $24 for the half day rentals so we can just wrap it up with him i i think here's an observation oh he's this yeah when my dad retired the minutia of he and my mom what they would talk about

he'd be in a grocery store oh jesus christ why do they have the water over here what's that about or driving down the street oh oh they oh the parking lot they put in why they put in a parking lot so everything was just like what spots are so skinny Jenny. Yeah. Oh, look a tree. You know, what? What about it? It's a tree. That's awesome. And then she has an opinion, too. I like trees here. This store's our favorite, but they moved where the water was. We don't know why. Oh, Jesus Christ. Why do they have to change things? And then he goes, oh, I'm sorry, are we boring you, L.A. boy? And you're like, sort of.

He said me once, and I kind of agreed to me. He goes, oh, music. was simply better in the 50s. You know, Frankie Havillon. Well, I don't know. I like the Beatles, but, yeah. But that guy,

it sounds like he ran into a retired guy with a capital R, living off rents. And so to you, you were like a shiny object, like, oh my God, something new.

They have cameras and this guy was on television. I don't have a fucking clue who he was until Heather told me, who's Heather? His friend said he's on TV. but I go, he doesn't look like he's on TV.

She promised he's famous. She promised. And really famous. I want to get Adam Sandler. I get David Spoodley. Yeah, the last guy he rented that place to his red skeleton. Also, Charlotte McKinney's in it. She had a scene in that place.

And I wanted to say it was Margot Robbie because she's blonde. And I couldn't do it because he would have killed her. But then later she said, I said, did you ever talk to a guy? She goes, the owner? I go, yeah, she goes, yeah. I go, do you have a lot of questions? She goes, yes.

Jesus Christ, you know. Because he's just zeroing it, and then the directory found. What else have you done? What do you do? Just point camera? Everything was quite not enough to impress him. The last guy found out on was Buddy Hackett,

circa 167, okay? Here, I'll tell you a good joke. I just like the Red Skeleton reference. I already told you. This is another punchline. They were on family feud in the old days. And they had the grandma, you know, at the end. And they go, name someone known for spooky movies.

And this is, by the way, in the 80s. So someone says, Bella Lagosi, and it was a ding. And then they go, come on, Grandma. And she's like, and she's got the last X. And she goes, red skeleton? Skeleton. And everyone goes. And they're like, okay, hopefully.

And he goes, ha, shit. He didn't even get to show me Red Skelton because his name is Red Skelton. Red Skelton. Now, for those people don't know, he was this comedian from the 40s and movies. And then he had a show and he had these two characters. And he'd say, good night and God bless. So I played the Golden Nugget in Reno. Red Skelton was a headliner?

No, he was just there a lot. So I'm in the suite they gave him in and the bed, and there's just a gigantic black and white photo of Red Skel. Right? I'm trying to go sleep. He's like lording over me. And then I go backstage and they used to torture an elephant. They had a trained elephant that would jump around.

And the only thing that was left was this big metal thing attached to the cement and the chain that I guess Clarence was attached to. and they didn't remove it. Right before I go on, I got to see an animal torture device. Fuck, those, that's a buzzkill. Don't get me going on animal torture. Don't like it. I'd rather have him torture red skeleton.

All right, so let's get to some videos of news and then we'll wrap up. Get to the airport. And we'll get you out of here. All right. A single night, I'm going to read this. A single night of poor sleep can make you 60% more reactive to negative emotions the next day.

I would say it would make you more negative, just straight up the next day. Well, maybe the reason this person's having poor sleep is because they're just redundantly thinking negative thoughts. Or he's doing what I do on every road gig where the fucking sun goes in your eyes right when you wake up at six in the morning and he didn't close him all the way. Yeah. His neck is bent up. He's got bright light in his face and he's just going, why didn't I sleep well?

Oh, that guy. I thought it was Zach Ephron, but I think that's just an AI tired guy. Is that all you have to put in chat, GPD? Give me a tired guy. That's definitely AI, man. Fucking AI. That's fucking AI. That's fucking AI, bro.

It's AI, man. Say AI, man, bro. No, chill. I want to be that guy. I want to be that guy. You know, it's cool. It's cool, bro, too, man. Nothing's chill.

I got you. I got your back, bro. You know, whatever you want, man. I get you for you. Hey, it's chill. You know, I appreciate you, bro. I appreciate you so much. You're the fast-talking con guy in a movie.

Well, you know, I do, I've always been generous because I lived off tips. But when I tip now, people are more appreciative because of fucking inflation and the world's so expensive. And sometimes I'll get 20 stacked in my jacket. And I'm just like hitting people sometimes going in, going out. And he goes, yo, bro, I got to thank you, man. You know, times are tough, you know. And I know you've given me four. 20s today, but could

I get another one? Make it an even five. You stingy fuck. Could you make it a C note? I go, I don't have anything on me. Well, then fuck you, bro. You know what? Yeah, hoard it all. Take it with you. You know, I will say you're not going to get written up in the daily

mail by tipping under 100%. And you won't even get written up then. You need to leave five grand or something. You know, that's a good trick to be like, hey, publicist, just left five grand tippet fucking Benegans. You know what to do. I think it's, you know what to do.

It's right and just, if you have a few, what you call it, beans in your jeans? Yeah, spread them around. So at this hotel I stay at in L.A. a lot. This grandmother does room service, which I used to do, bringing the tray. It's like, you know, and she's a grandmother. So I do help her out. Because that's like grandma is working her ass on. You know what?

I read an article about that. It said Dana Carvey shadows grandmother for a whole shift. You can't win for a whole shift to study for a new movie called. Garth won't let grandmother alone. By the way, Heather, I just dropped the lid to those opias and I try to put on this thing three times. And that's why I said, fuck you fucking lid. I was so mad. It fell three times while Dana's telling this.

Oh, my God. What's falling? Because I adjust. I put on a hat halfway through. I'm trying to get Superman and fly on the wall. I got the plan. I'm adjusting. Yeah.

I can't read fly on the wall in that box back there. But Heather, can you believe I did that three times right there? That thing weighs 300 pounds. Don't put it back on. That's what I was trying not to do. Oh, here's my papayas. Here's a lid that slips and you can't ever get it down all the way. It looks like an ad on Instagram.

And then I put it on the table, which is three inches, and this is four. And so it just kept falling, and then I put it in falling. And you're telling that story. And I'm like, God damn, Dana, I'm going to lose him in this story about his parents talking about whole foods. Yeah. Bro, I feel you, bro, man. Oh, yeah. I know what you're saying, man, because, like, sometimes you go for a piece of fruit and it's like not good inside, right?

And you're like, you don't want to get mad at the fruit. You peel it. And you go, I don't think it's going to work for me, bro, you know. But sometimes I'll just eat it anyway. way, you know, because everything that deserves it to come to fruition, no pun intended. Fruition. It's my new character called Bro Guy. It's a little bit of Garth.

I appreciate you, bro. Hey, bro. I like the guy that constantly keeps shaking your hand before they leave. Hey, man. Come on, bring it in. Dude, you're fucking the best, dude. Hey, man, good to see you. Hey, best luck to you.

Hey, come on. Remember those khaki pants I had that you wanted to get a hold of from the gap? I did get them. I did get them. Dude, they existed? They weren't changed? No, they did. They go, only one person has ever bought these in history.

No, but the guy came in and goes, oh, I mean, room service guy comes to go, man, bro, what did you get those pants? I go, really? They're $10 at the gap. I told you. I liked them, too. I know. You know what you're doing, dude. You look cool.

What a run. This champ is picking up speed. But they found a lane. Phenomenal launch into the air. Absolutely incredible air transit. Fly the seven-time world's best leisure airline champions, Air Transat. All right, one more story, even though we've only done two. Here we go.

Oh, this one. Tell me if you're into this. Okay. Should we read that first? No, it's got you. Bad news, but Sweden has officially done it while everyone was distracted. This is what there's... You like this or you don't like this?

Literally into your country as we speak. And this is why everything is happening by design. You put a chip in your hand. Well, when Elyus goes to work, and that's the biometric. And he doesn't need money. In fact, much of what he needs to get through the day. I mean, this is so close to what we do anyway. Just below the surface in his hand.

Yeah. Oh, weird. Yeah. Embedded in his hand is a microchip. It's a real piece of rice. Yeah. I can't get over the guy in the beginning. You can turn it off, we get it.

So he buys everything, does everything all day. It's like a credit card. Do you want it or do you not? Is it good or is it bad? I know it's coming. I know it's the future. You're getting one later today. So let me know.

We have to get one for the podcast. I got a little distracted for baby boomers because the guy in the beginning looked like the grandson of Dr. Smith from Lost in Space. Can we put that picture up again? Just the guy from the beginning. thing with the slits. The slits for eyes. Can we put that up? The stoner do trying to tell the story. Please stand by. We'll get it out. Because I never got past that, but I do think biometric chips. But then you can't get it. You can't take it out. Well, I mean,

they know where you are. I guess that's the problem. It's like having that guy. Hey, man. Hey. What? Yeah. Fuck, I woke up and found this story. Do you think it's fucking nuts? Look at his mustache. He's a full McDonald's, Heather. The microchips are not that excitement. The full M from McDonald's. Oh, bro, I'll be honest, man.

I don't know if that's a real nose, a real eyes, a real mustache, man. It's just cool look. Okay, one more, and then we got to get Dana. I got to let you go. We are now boarding, please. We can push back if everyone takes a seat. We're holding for Dana Carvey to get here.

Holding for the church leave. Let's see what this is. Women talked about mysterious automatic photos on iPhones. I've had that. What's this? Friday night findings. We just discovered, which we already knew, that your phone and iPhone specifically, it takes an infrared picture of you with your face ID every five-ish seconds.

You ever heard of this, Heather? Do we talk about this? And it's pretty wild. Let's show you. Okay. Have your home screen? It's on the home screen. Not touching anything.

Nothing. Okay. Infrared lens on the camera. Boom. There was one. two that's so wild why would it do that so there's another one okay

nothing oh it blocks it oh it's trying it's taking pictures of your finger okay move your finger ready what is it one I'm not sure what I'm looking at well the phone takes snapshots of you every five seconds when you face yourself why

and it doesn't stop I mean how long I mean I think it doesn't when it when you flip the camera around possibly is that sometimes they do ID on my iPhone and the little green thing shows up you hold it face ID right face ID and then you're so hungover it doesn't it goes who are you and you go this is just a distorted version of me oh yeah oh yeah I should leave on that clunker do you want to do one more no let's do one more is it let's go out with a banger impossible let's trying.

Would this be the, oh, this will gross you out. Okay, go ahead, play. Don't even get you up ahead. This is the image of this huge hair clump that was blocking a drainage pipe.

This is Heather's drain by her husband's house in Madison, Wisconsin. So Dave Portsinger has 10 daughters. Ten. They have three sets of twins amongst their daughters, which is just incredible. Jesus. And he says,

God, they always get clogged. Bus boys. Drain him. He sometimes. We work in sewage and busboys. This should be a scene. He knows some tricks and tips.

Oh, my God, yeah. DVD extras. It's just, he hasn't been able to talk. But I believe it should be able to talk. That thing should speak. Okay, turn it off. That's how of all it is.

So 10 daughters. I am clogged there. He goes, I portal Drano in there. You think Drano's going to kill that monster? Well, when did it clog when it was like just 10 feet long? I mean, when does it just,

it's still, there's still more. hair going in, why is it not backing up? I don't know. Let me see these freak kids with the hair. Do they have any left on their head? They're all bald. I feel like it just, it, it gains sentience, which is like almost became human. And I think it was like, me like hair clog, me getting stronger. Need more daughters with multiple shampoos per day. where hairs fall out. Why are you being so specific hair,

monster? I don't know. I'm not having a great day because I'm trending and I like to be secret in the sewer. Yeah, they found me out. That one tastes like Celsan Blue. I don't like it. Seltsin Blue, good one. You know, I like, I like suave.

Shockingly, I like Pro. If I can get a mouthful of prel and hair, I'm a happy Suea Monster. Prell. I don't even know is it Prellas. I like that you ran with that. Well, Preel's from the 60s, right?

So funny. I just took the top off again, Heather. I'm doing it again. Because I'm going to eat this. All right, anyway, we will tell you on the next show how it went when I took the top off for the fourth time. Right. Right. We're open to any ideas.

We're going to, we have some exciting news next week. Yes, we'll tell you next week, so get excited. Tell you next week. All right, thanks for watching. Goodbye, everybody. Goodbye. Hey, guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app.

Give us a review, five-star rating, and maybe you can share an episode that you've loved with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtson. Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.

Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answer. on the show, we can email us at fly on the wall at odyssey.com. That's A-U-D-A-C-Y-I-I-com.