Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Melissa Villaseñor

Episode Date: October 16, 2024

6 years on SNL, singing talent, and top notch impressions with Melissa Villaseñor. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Chiara. It means smart in Italian. Too bad your barista can't spell it right. So you just give a fake name, your cafe name, Julia. But the more you use it, the more it feels like you're in witness protection. Wait a minute. What kind of espresso drinks does Julia like anyway? Is it too late to change your latte order?

But with an espresso machine by KitchenAid, you wouldn't be thinking any of this, because you could have just made your espresso at home. Shop now at KitchenAid.ca. Our guest today is Melissa Villaseñor. Melissa Villaseñor. And she's a delightful person, cast member in Saturday Night Live for six years,

incredibly versatile actress and comedian. A brilliant impressionist, and what she does some for us is really fun. Probably the best Owen Wilson. Of course, we always extract it. Oh yeah, Owen Wilson, that's right. Yeah, she does. And we really talk about her time on the show

and sort of the fun of being on Saturday Night Live, the stress of being on Saturday Night Live, just her journey, her adventure in that amazing and sometimes frustrating 8H17 floor. We've talked all about Saturday Night Live being a challenge emotionally for being live on television and so forth and so on. You know, so it's a great conversation. She's a stand up also. I see her at the improv here and there. I followed her the other night and she does a great job.

And she talks about her life and she does a few impressions, whatever. It's all good. So I think you're going to have a nice time with her. Yeah. And one other little bonus to wait for is she she actually has an incredible singing voice, and she does she does different celebrities singing and herself. I mean, she's she's quite a talented. Young woman, so I would I would stay tuned for this, folks.

She reminds me of me a little bit. Triple threat, triple. What are your what are your three? One, funny. Annoying. Two, annoying and funny. And I have a knack for interrupting people. I know, I got some good ones in today.

Can you sing, kid? I really cannot. Can you sing, kid? Can you sing? I really cannot. Can you dance? I'm barely one threat. I'm not even a threat. But here, let's show them Melissa.

Here we go. Here's Melissa. ["I'm a Little Bitter"] What's up? Yes, oh my goodness. We can ask Melissa. I tell about fucking funny. We can ask Melissa. I tell about this one. Hey!

Whoa Melissa. What's up Dana and David? Good to see you. We were just laughing so hard at something David said made me laugh so hard. It was a casual throwaway. David? We were laughing Melissa at the agents and managers. This happens in all of showbiz, where they're the important ones because they're like, you need to be friends with me

because I tell the puppets what to do. And we are all the puppets. That's the thing. It's like they're the puppet masters. All of our companies that were clients of got bought post pandemic, got bought by other companies and they got an influx of massive amounts of cash but the assets i.e. the puppets i tell what to do yeah i go do i get a piece of that they go unfortunately no i get a crumb yeah give me

a fucking crumb i'm the one on the road. I'm so hungry. Oh my God. Right. How are you? I mean, golly. You know, I feel good. Yeah, you look good. Thanks. Are you getting tan or something or are you just?

Well, I wonder. Yeah, I am getting tan, but I wonder if my lighting is it's not good. No, it looks good. You look good. All right. No, I am getting tan, but I wonder if my lighting is, it's not good. No, it looks good. You look good. All right, cool. No, I won't. Yeah. I just, you know, I'm not a,

I know we have to use ring lights, but I don't like them. They give me a headache. Yeah, me too. Well, but you have a light, right? I mean, you're near a window. Yeah, I am. You look like you got a window going.

Window is the best. I can open up the blinds more. No, you're fine. window. Yeah, I am. You look like you got a window going. Window is the best. I can open up the blinds more. No, you're fine. You want me to try that? No, you look fantastic. All right. It's like. But how are you guys?

How are we? Yeah. Happy that we see you. All right, that's very nice. When I found out you wanted me on this, I was like, this is so nice of you. This is really cool. All right, what are you crazy?

I mean, six year cast member. Six year. 120 episodes. That's pretty good, huh? Of crushing it. I think that's what I did. That's exactly what I did. Oh, whoa.

Yeah, I mean, you know, I tried my best. I felt like it was... We all feel the same. It's all a beating. Everyone's like, I fucking got out. Yeah. I felt like if I were more equipped for that, or just a little stronger, maybe I could have kept going. But I'm a little wimp.

Fuck, six years is like 200 years on that show. It's an emotionally violent sport, a show business, and then SNL is the Game of Thrones of it. That's true. And when it's flowing and it seems good and you're bonding with the writers and you have a sketch, you get a hold of it and you land it, it's like the greatest in the world.

But then there's all these times where you just walk off stage. Then there's everything else. You have audience members you wave to and they look down. They're like, even you know I bombed. Or even like, I thought it was painful when you would have guests visit come in town and you're not in the episode at all. You're just staring at them in your dressing room. You're like, you're having fun? And I'm just sitting there looking at me. Yeah. They go, no, it's fine. Our favorite people are on. And you're like, oh. That's the worst passive aggressive compliment

or question, you know, when you're not in the show that much. Did you have fun? I mean, were you having fun? Or when you have a bad set of stand up and all your relatives are there, you look like you're having fun. And you're like, oh, I'm having fun. And you're like, oh, I'm having fun. And you're like in the show that much. Did you have fun? I mean, were you having fun? Or when you have a bad set of standup

and all your relatives are there, you look like you're having fun, you know? Look, I know it sucked. You know what I mean? I know, yeah. Yeah, but man, so much. It's hard to prep for it. It's hard to say, this is what you wanna do.

You get a fucking huge break and there's no real way to be ready. People go, it's hard to say this is what you want to do. You get a fucking huge break and there's no real way to be ready. People go, it's hard. You go, that's too vague, sorry. I will figure out how hard it is in 18 different ways when I'm trying to get $200 and quarters on a Sunday to do my laundry and I got to walk up 18 flights of stairs and it's my one day off

and I have no ideas for Tom Hanks on Monday. I know. I was lucky, I was the last six person cast in essence. You know, it was just me, Phil and John. Oh, last six person total. Cast, yeah. Whoa. And then by the early 90s, when the interlopers, the youngsters, the bad boys of comedy, Sandler,

Spade, Brock, all the rest, Tim Meadows, then we started to have an expansive cast. Like we had a junior varsity cast that was going to take over. But when I got on, that was the last time. It was just me, Phil and John as feature male players. What a dream. And then there's Jan Hooks, Nora and Victoria Jackson. Let me tell you more about my utopian experience there. Melissa was like, I was cast member 14B.

How many were on there? I was Melissa V. Like a bachelor. There's so many. 2016, Mikey Day, Alex Moffat, Pete Davidson, Leslie Jones, Essendley Strong, Keenan, who's always there, he's great. Vanessa was there that last year,

Bec Bennett, Aidy Bryant, Kate McGinnon, Kyle Mooney and yourself. I probably missed, but that's about 14, I guess. I don't know. Yeah. That sounds right. Yeah, that sounds right. Too many.

We had 22, I think, Dana, because we also had like Frank and some people around the orbit that would jump in and a Whitney Brown and Tom Davis, they could jump in and write themselves in. So a lot of people wrote themselves in and then there was a lot of feature players. I stayed feature for too long, probably two, three years. And I was the last guy to get pulled up to the bigs. So embarrassing. So humiliating. Before we go too far down how hard the show is, I just want to insert this for a minute. Obviously I'm looking at stuff online and look at yourself. Obviously, the Lady Gaga thing I was playing on my computer, she does it at Update. Melissa, that's your name, right? Yeah, that's right.

It's so transcendent, really brilliant that my wife couldn't see. She just thought, so then I was talking to Spade and walkie talkies, goes, so that wasn't Lady Gaga? But also it was a very funny take on Lady Gaga, the way you did it and the way you move your shoulders, the whole thing. So that, JLo with the hoops earring sketch, just being with her was hysterical.

The kid genius character Riley, like he literally looked eight years old. It was kind of an amazing, I know you have a very youthful face, but it was like, kind of like you were 10. What is that one about? Well, I, that writing night that week, I remember watching, you know, Ellen DeGeneres on her show,

she would have these like genius kids go on and they just really bugged me. And then the parents are in the crowd like, yeah, this is great. And I was like, that would be fun if there's if I played like one of those kid geniuses, but it's just not that smart, just very polite, you know, so that was the angle. And then I but I had Heidi play the mom that was like pressuring me to really show off and be smart. Yeah, that one was fun. That was a fun one.

And what did the voice, what did you use for that voice? You also, the clothes were great in the hair. Just really shrunk you down. Yeah, I think it was. Yeah, I know, I know where the planet's at. I felt like it was, I can't remember, man. I can't remember that. I have to watch it. I like it already. I totally't remember, man. I can't remember that. After one time.

I totally understand that. But I'm not remembering. You're trying to throw yourself years back. You're like, hey, you did this impression. You're like, I haven't done it in 20 years. Just give me a second. No, no, do it now, man. I can't, I can't access it.

Does he sound like, it sounds like the guy that goes, well, who's that little redhead kid that goes, apparently. Remember he was on Ellen. He goes, well, who's that little redhead kid that goes, apparently. Remember, he was on Ellen. He goes, I was at the carnival and apparently they don't let kids on. And apparently I've never been on TV before. And apparently. Remember that kid? And it's just like, that's the word he knew.

And everyone. Yeah. Yeah. He really beat the fuck out of it. And then he went on the show because he took the mic from the lady and he's like eight years old. He's like a chubby kid with red hair greased over. And he kept going, and then apparently they didn't want me to go on the Tilt-A-Whirl right away

because I eat too much food. And everything he said was funny. And then they brought him and they go, can the apparently guy come on the show? And then he came in. That was his moniker, the apparently guy? Yeah. Good catchphrase, that kid's got some instincts.

Yeah, he was killing it. I actually liked him. Actually, he opened for him. Whoa. Yeah, he said that. Well, weren't you kind of a boy genius? Weren't you a chess prodigy, David? Oh, I was.

Yeah, I was smart. Yeah, I was smart for a while. And then it all went to shit. Whoa! It went to shit freshman year. I remember that almost time and day. When you started discovering girls, you suddenly your brain...

It was also, it was girls, but it was also all our schools merged. And I was known for math and reading. Cause I'd leave class to go down to a, two grades down to go do math and reading with this Vietnamese kids. So I was kind of- Will you teach other kids?

No, I would go to take, like in second grade, I'd walk down to fourth grade. Oh, oh, oh. And then come back and go, what's been going on here guys? I was a little tied up with fractions. You'll learn about them in the future. Yeah. And so by the time I get to high school,

everyone's like, oh, there's the nerd from math class. And then my brother was cool. And then everyone's like, oh, you're his brother. And then not just girls, just people were talking to me. And I was like, oh, and then I would skip class just because someone was talking to me. I'm like, they go, there's the bell. I go, I don't have to be anywhere.

And then I just started losing grades because I'm like, oh, I just want a social life where people are friendly to me instead of just treating me like this weirdo outcast. And so then I got dumb and plummeted so fast. Melissa, were your high school years delightful? Yeah. Where do you put them?

You know, I think they were all right, you know? Where were you? I went to, I mean, I was a, called a survivor. I went to an all girls school in Alhambra, California, uh, Ramona convent, seventh through 12th grade. Whoa. Wow. Did any adult ever get busted during those times or was it

excuse me, well, I hear comedy up and up. No, I know. I didn't know any different, but I felt like I felt like it messed me up just with yeah, with guides and social life because I didn't know, you know, it was really awkward. But I did discover comedy then. So I was like watching you guys obsessed with SNL, and I was already working on impressions. And yeah, I started comedy at 15,

at the Laugh Factory comedy camp. And I was like, this is what I'm gonna do. I didn't even care about, I didn't go to prom. I was like, I'm over this. I mean, I know what I'm gonna do. Oh my God. I mean, people ask me this, like, when you're probably eight or nine,

you probably started to throw your voice around a little bit and what when you're probably eight or nine, you probably started to throw your voice around a little bit. And what was the first one that you got? You know, that's what they ask me sometimes. Let's get first. What's one of the ones you remember? Put it that way. I think of your early repertoire.

Like when I was 12, I started doing like the singing impressions of all the pop girls, Britney, Shakira, Christina. That was kind of where I started with the singing impressions. And then I watched a lot of you, Dana, and worked on all of, I learned your impressions. Wow. From the show. I love it.

Good, I love to pass it along. Anyone can say, not God damn it. I mean, you know, that's not different. You know, what I was gonna say, which is interesting to me, is that like, say you do an impression of your seventh grade PE teacher, and then you going to say, which is interesting to me, is that, like, say you do an impression of your seventh grade PE teacher and then you go to a comedy club, that can be your it's a now it's called a character,

but it's an impression of your PE coach. And if the PE coach somehow gets famous, it's the exact same voice, but now you're doing an impression. So the line between character and impression sort of blurs sometimes. Like I just did my brother Brad for Garth and it was an impression of him kind of exaggerated. So I don't know. I'm sorry, my mind's kind of spinning because you have so much talent. We don't have that much time. Did anyone teach you how to sing? Just sing. The fact that you can sing is a big plus.

Sing as other people, but you can just sing. You have an album out, right? You have to. Yeah, I do. When did you learn you could just sing? Cause that's a, I can't sing. I could. Yeah.

I don't know. I felt like I did choir and stuff. And I remember being a little kid and seeing people sing up there like in church and I was like, yeah, I could do that. I heard myself sing, I could do that. But I didn't have any proper training. I just liked it.

And at first I thought I was like, oh, I'm gonna be a singer, but then I realized, oh, comedy is better. I can do impressions of, you know, and make people laugh. Like that was just another level. But I do like, I do enjoy just singing, you know, cover songs and right now I'm trying to work

on a bolero cover album of like Spanish classics songs and with my friends band. Yeah. Of course you are. Yeah. Of course. And those go, E colo la mano,

la canamba, sit downo la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Spanish songs, right? Yeah. She's great. Yeah, she had that album, songs for her father and all the mariachi songs. But that's what I'm hoping to do, you know? Oh yeah. Well, she's so top notch. You will do it. You're already famous. Yeah, that's half the battle.

And you're so talented. I think it's pretty much a no brainer. It's like your friends are like, you got that one. Thanks. You got that one. I just want to fill in this gap a little bit. So you've got, you're singing like Britney Spears. So you're like a little miracle.

Oh God. All you people look at me like I'm a little girl. That was like the first one. And then I go back to my speaking voice. You're like, oh man. Oh no. But the dichotomy is true. She doesn't have a voice.

Spade has a voice. She's like, oh man. Oh no. But the dichotomy is true. She's got a voice. Spade has a voice. She's back, dammit. You want to have a neutral voice that you can throw around. Your natural voice is like this. But was that your, I mean, did kids, were kids amazed like in seventh grade and stuff? Yeah. I mean, it's like a magic trick. They were really amazed. Yeah, it was cool.

And then, you know, I mean, you've I'm sure you've heard there. But like, yeah, the Christina. I think it's great. Yeah. Talk through it like how you got that. You just listened to her and it just hit you? Were you not so good and then you got better with the Christina impression? Or did it just kind of hit you after you saw her? I think it's just like I listened to it so much and then you start practicing and you're like, oh, I could do this. But isn't she known as already a great singer anyway? And then you're, so now you're doing an impression of,

you can sing, but you have to actually be great? Yeah, I guess so. You know what I mean? Like she's so like, people can't even sing like her. So you can sing like her. So you must be able to sing pretty well. Come on over, come on over baby. Oh yeah.

See that, see, I, no, that's, you're, I do it. You are beautiful. You organically are singing from your diaphragm or whatever, cause most people try to sing, it's all throat catch. Well, I do, that was a little, I felt like I felt a little push there.

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For the past three seasons of Gone South, we've covered one story per season. We tried to figure out who killed Margaret Coon. She told me I'm gonna kill you. I said, well, do it, bitch. Go ahead and do it. We delved into the violent world of the Dixie Mafia. I'm an outlaw and I was a thief, but I'm far from being the psychotic nutcase that I've been made out to be.

And we tracked a serial killer in Laredo, Texas. Just turn around, please. Turn around. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Now, Gone South is back for a fourth season, but this time, we're doing things a little differently. So, in Gone South Season Four, we'll be bringing you new stories every week

with no end in sight. I'm Jed Lapinski. Welcome back to Gone South, an Odyssey Original Podcast. Listen and follow now on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts for new episodes every week. I know, sorry, my thoughts are all over the place because I also want to learn about your stories too. Cause you guys are just like this is I'm a little starstruck too. Yeah. Well, well, yeah, we met, we met each other in the clubs a few times and you were on a comedy competition show, weren't you?

First impressions. Your show. First impressions. Yeah. Yeah. And I got to say, that was such a beautiful year because I did that show with you and I was like, oh, this is this is so magical. And then I did my first pilot for Barry Bill Hader's show. I was the waitress. Oh, oh. I was like, Oh, this is magical. Like all this, just people from SNL are entering my life. And then that was the summer I got the show. It was just so cool how that was all the same. It was so well, it's fun. And I mean, I

don't know if you go to clubs and you meet a younger version of yourself, that maybe you have impressions or as a good stand up and you want to give version of yourself that maybe has a few impressions or is a good stand up and you want to give them props. You're still, I mean, there's an organic competitiveness with comedians or clowns you want to call us. You know, I always say the reason that class clown is singular is because if there were two class clowns, one class clown would kill the other class clown. For the attention.

Yeah. But as you, you're a Saturday Night Live vet, you kicked ass on the show, you have all this talent. So when it means something to somebody who's like 23 or four coming up and you co-signing them and going, you know, you've got it, just keep going. Yeah. Whatever you say. Oh yeah.

You know, it's nice. Yeah, I feel like it feels nice to do that for, like pay attention to, yeah. No, it's nice. Yeah, I feel like it feels nice to do that for, like pay attention to, yeah. Try to help around. Because you see Dana, I see Dana, and then when I get on the show, I don't know that Dana is worried about sketches

or this or what, and then I'm like, oh, there's more going on in his head other than he's a star. I remember seeing John Lovitz, and then when I went to the show, I told Dana that John was sad. And I'm like, what are you, I mean, in my head, I go, you're on the best show in the world.

And he goes, I'm only in two things this week. And I go, who cares? Who would even notice? Like when you're on, I'm like, oh, he's funny. I have no idea how many sketches people are in. And then I said, I just see you as like a star that's really makes me laugh like Dana. And then when I got there, I'm like, fuck them all.

And I immediately go, I just fell for it. And I already know the playbook. You're not supposed to think this way. And then after two read throughs, I'm like, I'm not even in the show. And then I started going, oh my God, I'm turning into this. I can't help it. It's because it gets hard. I know.

And you try to talk yourself off the ledge. Your highlight reel is pretty extensive. You know, if you ever go online, check yourself out, you know, Melissa. Well, I know there is that one, I think it's, what is it? The We Are Me Too or something? Someone put a compilation of clips and I look at it

and I'm like, yeah, that's right. Okay, okay. I do pretty good stuff. Yeah, all right. Oh yeah, you're scoring there, you're scoring there, you're scoring there. I saw you do Gwen Stefani on Kelly Clarkson. Oh yeah.

And she was right next to you? I did it for her. I was like, that was crazy. Isn't it scary, right? Wait a minute, she was right next to you? Three feet away. And you're doing Gwen with Gwen? Yeah, yeah.

Oh wow. I told her, yeah, this old bit I had of like when I'm in my car and no doubt comes on the radio, I get into my Gwen impression, which is a dangerous impression to do behind the wheel, because it's a lot of. Yeah. For a long time,

I was in your room, beep beep. And she liked it and that was pretty cool. I saw on that and I was like, oh my god, she's going to do it right in front of her. First of all, Gwen is stunning. Gwen is super talented and a sweetheart, seems I've briefly met her. I like that she keeps her hair platinum blonde and then wears bright red lipstick. She looks great all the time. And she's a very potent look. She has a great sport about it.

Yeah. She looks great. It's a very potent look. She's a great sport about it. And she loved it. And she was sitting right there. What a blast, but definitely ups the nerves. Yeah, because I feel like I've done my impression for JLo. That was frightening because JLo is another one, you know? And I think she was like, no, no, baby, I don't think so, no. See, I love it when just that. Yeah.

You know, like, I don't even know where I've heard JLo. I mean, I've seen her interviews, but it's like so perfectly encapsulates. And that's the fun of impressions. It's like there is, there is. Yeah, yeah. Her. Yeah. Mm mm mm. So just a sidebar, what do you, what do you think?

Affleck, are they, I mean, I wish them all the best. It's Jennifer Lopez, do you want to go on and see if you can trend by having an opinion about it? Oh, I think I'm all for it, you know? But that- Me too. I wish everyone the best. That special was pretty funny.

I thought it was a standup special but I heard the billboards of JLo. Oh, JLo was documenting. What was it called? Yeah, what was it called? My time now. This is me now. This is me now.

Everyone's like, I know. I kind of like doing like dramatic JLo, you know, like, no, you can't. Like the movie enough when she fights back. I saw enough. Every movie I see, I think that's happening. Yeah, because there's another one like called still enough. I've had enough, almost enough,

because every poster I see I go, she has another movie out and she's on Instagram. She looks, and there's no hate. It's like, she looks beautiful every day, but give us 24 hours off. Don't you get tired? Yeah, I mean, like that. That's a little, that's how I feel. I'm like, let's go away and let us miss you.

That's what Lauren told me. They can't miss you if you don't go away. I was like, oh, that was like a big life lesson about showbiz. And I go, oh. He brings it out, it's on like a Ten Commandments tab. Which number three, they can't miss you if you won't go away.

He has a Venn diagram. Here's where you are. Here's where people want to see you. Because they fit in your head. Yeah. But the continuum of the personality. Okay, wisdom alert, alert potentially, observation alert. We're all have some range of drive

just even have gotten on Saturday Night Live. And then there's drive and there's super drive and then there's certain people. And again, to your point, it's not hate, it's not even a criticism. There, it's oxygen to them. More, more, more. And it makes you very wealthy.

I mean, you're kind of an extroverted introvert or an introverted extrovert, you think? I mean, I've listened to some of your interviews or a little bit shyer than some other comedians. Yeah, I think I'm pretty introverted. Like I have trouble, even at the show, I had trouble kind of speaking up when there's just so much going on.

I'm like, I get so overwhelmed. I don't know where to fit. And then I'd rather just hide away. I don't know how to get in, you know. So like the writer's room and Pete Davidson's coming in, everyone's laughing and yelling, you know, like it's like a big, and then you just go back to your chair.

Yeah. Yeah. But I, you know, like, it's like a big, and then you just go back to your job. Yeah. But I, you know, the second season when Steven Castillo joined the writers, he's still there too. And he, his mind, he's such a hilarious, silly guy. And I was like, oh, now this is what I'm talking about. And we got our office together and we wrote the dying Miss Gomez sketch where I'm the old lady singing Nickelback as my last words. Yes. Can we get a little of that? Yeah. Yeah. Never made it as a wise man. I couldn't cut it as a poor man's deal.

Oh! That's her death, she's dying, that was it? She's on her deathbed and she sounds like Nickelback. That was my, it was a standup bit of mine and that's what I want wanna say, the last words and the family's like, what the heck? Here's mine. I love the silliness and the simplicity of that.

Danny, here's my Nickelback guy. I think, look at this photograph. Wait, actually give me those pills first. I don't feel good, I'm dizzy. I'm trying to make those my last words, but then I get scared and I gotta take my pills. Oh, I see. I coulda done it as a man.

I wanna sing, I'm gonna try to become more of a singer. People pretend to hate Nickelback, but they rock it out. Oh, they do. Yeah, same with Creed. I love all of those guys. I feel like they'll wind up in a Deadpool. With eyes wide open. Just that song alone is such a catchy anthem. Yeah, same with Creed. I love all of those guys. I feel like they'll wind up in like a Deadpool.

With eyes wide open. Just that song alone is such a catchy anthem. Yeah. Do you ever do them? Can you take me higher to a place where blind men see. Blind men see? That's how high?

That's fucking high. That's high, man. Please, I've never been that high. I gotta get on the spaces. You gotta get high, high, high. So I wanna ask you a question, a technical question. We can bim-bam. When you do a singing impression of someone,

then you have to inhabit the way they create that sound. Like you hold your mouth, and so you kind of know how they get to those notes in a way, right? Yeah, I guess so. I think you're like, you know, even going back to Gwen, it's like she's making a little face the whole time and I think that does help the impression. And she kind of constricts her throat a little bit. Yeah. How does she even do that? Because her voice was so unique when I saw her doing Just a Girl, I'm like...

I'm just a girl in the water. And I'm like, and that's all. But she can also kind of blast it out, but in that same kind of high pitch, I was like, God damn, I don't know nothing on music. And I thought, holy, plus she was so adorable. I saw her at K-Walk weenie roasts with corn. And I said, I like how you,

oh, this is the worst compliment I go, I like how you sing, but also you ham it up out there. My friend goes, why are you telling her that? I go, I don't know. Ham it up. Ham it up. Because she kind of jumps around, you know what I mean? She jumps around.

The international pop star with great physical moves is hamming it up. I know, it was wrong. And she's like, yeah, I like how you ham up your corny act. I'm like, thank you. I thought it was a compliment. No, I swear to God, I said it and we walked away and my buddy goes, well, that went Southquick.

I go, well, I don't know what I said. He goes, oh, everyone else does. You said, ham it up. And I'm like- Did her face drop or did she just shut his mouth? It was right after I'm Just a Girl was a Hit. It was the Weenie Roast where it just like, she was newer.

They were an Orange County band and it was down in Orange County. And you're famous at this point. Yeah, I thought I was a big fucking deal. And I'm like, hey, like I thought I was Clive Davis. You know, I was like, just walking around like anyone gave, like I thought I was Clive Davis, you know, I was like, walking around like anyone gave a fat fuck what I said.

And I'm like, corn, thumbs up. They're like, ooh, thanks. Just got the Midas touch from this, whoever this guy is. Is that a Joe Dirt cap behind you, David? Oh, that old thing? Oh, I try to get it out of frame. Heather, throw that in the garbage. Glad you noticed.

Yeah, no. This is a set. It's called Boring Podcast Background, and it's just at a local. Dana's is at a 10 out of 10. For $100 a day, you get to do a podcast from this room, and it's so nondescript. Dana's is a door.

It doesn't really exist. It just doesn't. It's nice and simple. But, it doesn't really exist. It just doesn't. But someone might come through that door. I like the tension of a door that anyone could come through that door. Dana says, he said, give me Jeff Bezos first six months of Amazon office look. Just nothing, just a door, a desk.

I thought Jeff Bezos, you know, cause I follow him. I like how we switch over. He's on a boat off the coast of Sardinia most of his life. And I thought he was peak jacked. He's jacked. He's so jacked. If he gets more jacked, he's going to explode.

Really? Guess what? He just got more jacked. He got jacked her? A little bit more. How? Yeah. And she got bigger lips. I thought she can't do more liped. He got jacked her? A little bit more. Yeah. How? And she got bigger lips.

I thought she can't do more lip filling. This is impossible. Everything's going big on that boat. Everything is getting large. You know they have a full medical center on that boat. So she can get a plastic surgery. She can get whatever she wants. I get nervous.

I saw a pommel horse on top where the helicopter usually is and Bezos like, doosh, doosh, doosh. I'm like, oh my God, he's going to go in the Olympics. He's doing the 200 free, you know, and Jeff Bezos, surprisingly in third place today at the Olympics. All right. White male rage update. Sorry. This was an, I'm just throwing out more classic bits. It was it was a dude that was that was all Bulla. He wrote that. That's all right. Bulla is a great writer. It's amazing. That was so much fun.

Yeah. Dan Dan Bulla. Wyatt Dan Bulla with his good good ideas. I thought he was so quiet and unassuming. I didn't even I thought he was just Sandler's piano player. I didn't even know that he wrote all this stuff, you know. But we know now. So what was that one? Tell me it.

It was when the Oscars, I think it was all white males winning, right? And then, yeah. He came up with this really good jingle. It was like, white male rage, white male rage. And I dressed in like a gold outfit. I think Steven also helped on that one too. Yeah. And it just was a, it was just so catchy.

It's like, what's the- Yeah, white male rage, white male rage. Joaquin Phoenix, white male rage. What was, but was it because they weren't, white men weren't winning enough at the Oscars or something? It was I think because it was all the characters in every movie was everyone had rage. I think the Joker, the Joker time and then the Joker is always in a bad. I think it was the mafia movie too that De Niro that long.

Oh, the Irishman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah? Oh, the Irishman? The Irishman, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you mad about? What mail, Rach? What mail, Rach? Well, does anyone think that maybe Joaquin, who is brilliant, I mean,

the first guy to smear the lipstick, because I've seen all the jokers all the way back to the 60s. All the way back. Cool, nice, tight lipstick. Nice. Heath Ledger, God rest his soul, genius, comes out, smears it, first one.

And Joaquin smears, will we ever have a full, beautiful lipstick Joker again? Kylie Jenner Lip Kit. Or we'll always denote, crazy, I'm a crazy Joker. Look at my smeared lipstick if you got any doubts about it. Yeah, if you watch a poster, you go, that guy's crazy. Look at my smeared lipstick. If you got any doubts about it. If you watch a poster, you go, that guy's crazy. I went into that camera.

I like it. Look at the lips. The lips are weird. I'm crazy. I want to get you in prosthetics in a film doing something because of your chameleon personality. Wouldn't you love to do something like that? Yeah, I would love that.

I think that'd be great. Were you on there with Sarah Sherman? She's a hilarious weirdo. Yeah. She was after it, right? Or did you overlap with Sarah? Just that last, my last season. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, you were? Yeah. Yeah. She's a quirky kick in the pants. Oh, man. It's a great summary. She's so good.

She's on tour right now and I see videos from it. I go, Sarah, are you okay? I'm flying out there. She's a kick in the pants. It's pure bananas. It's not straight standup. It's a super fun. She is way more interesting than my show.

I'll give you that one. Yeah. It's a great stand-up. It's a super fun... She is panamese. It looks way more interesting than my show. I'll give you that one. Yeah. and witness protection. Wait a minute, what kind of espresso drinks does Julia like anyway? Is it too late to change your latte order? But with an espresso machine by KitchenAid, you wouldn't be thinking any of this because you could have just made your espresso at home. Shop now at KitchenAid.ca.

So, okay, just say one word, we'll play this game. Yeah, let's play this one. And we know a lot of these, Mikey Day. A brilliant mind. That's two words. You can go whole sentence. You can do a sentence. I was gonna, I thought he was very sweet.

Yeah, he's really sweet and he's so cool how he makes everyone score and win. He's such a great writer. He's so good. And he wrote the Dirty Talk sketches for me, him and Streeter. I don't know if you saw the Dirty Talk. Donald Glover, you did one with him. Aziz, yeah, that was so fun. That was a funny, funny take where Glover was trying...

David, pay attention. I'm circling things. Was trying to get sexy with Melissa in bed. And then you just didn't get it or something. Yeah, it's like talk dirty to me. And I was like, yeah, you make no money or like you're, yeah. All right, dad, don't call me dad. It was just like I kept getting it all wrong.

It was really fun. Yeah, that was a fun one. Yeah, come on, Childish Gambino or Donald Glover. I don't know why dirty talk. I did a bit in this one with my standup, just the rhythm of it, always when people stand up to it. I did it like, what are you gonna do, huh? Huh, you like that?

Where did that come from? What are you gonna do? You're gonna get, it's kind of aggressive. Yeah. Let's form our own sketch show. And I'm like, no, these are rhetorical. Don't answer. What are you gonna do?

Do you like that? And she goes, yes. I go, I said, don't answer. These are rhetorical. That's how I ruin it. It's that math, that chess genius guy comes out in the worst possible time. Meet, spelling bee. Cecily Strong. Was she there?

Cecily? Yeah, you guys did some stuff together. So talented. I love doing singing bits with her too. She's such a great singer too. Oh, really? Yeah. And I love doing singing bits with her too. She's such a great singer too. Oh really? Yeah. Yes, but there's only one Melissa. Sorry, you do sing great.

I see. There's a new sheriff in town and she has a microphone. Run away, pitchless singer. Pitchless? I don't know, I made that up. I like that, pitchless. You call me a bitch? Who's nicer, Aidy Bryant No, pitchless. I don't know. I made that. I like that pitchless.

You call me a bitch. Who's nicer, Aidy Bryant or Vanessa Bayer? Oh, man. You're both sweet. You're both sweet. That's an answer. Who's nicer? Who could beat up?

Who could win in a fistfight? Pete Davidson or Leslie Jones? Leslie. Leslie, I know. We had Leslie on, she was so. She almost beat you up Dana. Oh my God, the best. She beat me up through the zoom.

I actually was bruised. What about Owen Wilson? Hey, give us a little bit of Owen. Do you have a little one handy? Yeah, yeah, I'm right here. It's great to be here. I feel like a fly on the wall most of my days. Most of my days.

See, the interesting thing about Melissa's is like you form your mouth to like how his mouth goes. Yeah. To get the sound. You make a, you visually make your lower jaw. Yeah, are you the same Dana like, and David too, I know you do impressions. Oh yeah.

But do you like to see their face on your face? Does that happen? For me, that's how I feel. I guess so, I mean, yeah. I don't know, I've never really practiced in the mirror much. I just sort of like, but if you take on the persona, like when I was doing Carson, I just automatically, I didn't have to look in the mirror, it just was.

Oh yeah, no, you could feel it. Yeah. Just the eye. I picture them in my head, their face and what they're doing. And I just try to talk like them and get it close with that is, but my face is probably doing what I think they're doing

just naturally. Yeah. That's what happened. I think that's what happens to everybody. I did Owen once. I don't even do Owen that well, but when I hosted, they assigned me Owen. So it was more of a funny look and I love Owen.

We just had Luke on this and Luke sounds a lot like Owen. It's almost just a different tone, but it's that same cadence. It's kind of slowly talking. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe enunciating. Right, Dana? It was kind of like that. Luke was hilarious. Yeah. I mean, I actually, coincidentally, had dinner with Owen, once with Lorne Michaels, and then once with Kevin Nealon, and it came up in conversation and he didn't like when people did him. And so I said, I said, okay, I won't do, you know.

Yeah. I remember he hosted and I, I asked him if we could do the Owen impression together. And he was like, I feel like it's done. You know, I feel like people it's over, you know? He was, he didn't want to do it. I like sad Owen, like. Yeah. It's over. You know, I got a couple of subs.

I saw you doing on one of the clips I was watching, doing like sort of quick impressions. Maybe it was part of the Ted talk. I'm not sure, but you were doing just like, here's this person doing this. And I always loved that technique. I do it too. It's just fun, like.

Yeah, like a quick one, you know, like Kristen Wiig skydiving. Um, I changed my mind. I'm scared. I'm scared. Who would do Kristen Wiig's voice? That's great. Even though she's. Yeah. Oh, I remember having a bit, it's like Sandra Bullock if she knocked over a bunch of dominoes that were lined up in the room, and she just hits it and goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and that's it.

She always has a little breakdown like that in movies. It's funny because you got a picture, like Kristen Wiig, which Kristen Wiig, because she does impressions. She plays different characters. So what's the one that makes sense that resonates? And that one did resonate with me. The announcement of the premise is funny to me.

In other words, you saying this person doing this person's already funny. Like this is the you ever have bits in your act that get a laugh that you feel it doesn't deserve that big a laugh? You're like, I do John Travolta, John Travolta, going way back, John Travolta as a 15th century astronomer. So already it's like, what? And he's like, you know, you know, I don't know. I think the earth could be round to some shit, you know? And the laugh is so much bigger.

It's like kind of quasi bad comedy and sometimes it's a comedy. I think it's true though, cause you don't want to overthink it. I get caught in that loop of overthinking bits and I'm like, no, no, no, the dumber, the better. Yeah. And for me too, I have more fun.

Like I had this- You can use, go ahead. Oh, no, no, no, I had this bit. I like when it does personally connect to me a little bit. So there is some grounding, but I was- Yeah. This new bit of, again, it's dumb, but it makes me laugh. It's like, cause I do vocal warmups before my shows cause I sing a lot.

And there was a couple of weeks ago, I was in the green room and I was practicing. I was getting high up there, you know? I was, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, and I was getting high and I got so high that I farted. And other comics around, I was like, ah, damn, I could never just be a hot for one moment,

you know? And I thought that if I was like, do other singers go through this? You know, does Ariana get did a variation of that. The idea is that someone is at the peak of their ego and power and they're really doing fantastic. And then the chair is pulled out. Yeah.

I did a kids movie called Master of Disguise. They said you have to have a fart joke. So I came up with that thing. Of course. Big, big, big laugh. What was it? Raspberry. Walk us through it.

Whenever the bad guy would laugh and he'd be with someone, he'd be like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the plan is working. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Pfft. Pfft. So I came up with a fart joke that made me laugh. Cause it said, you need a fart joke? Don't really have one. That's great.

I like that one. I love that. Pull that one out. And now it's yours. You can say, you can use it this way. You know, I was on a podcast with Dana Carvey and David Spade and they were talking about fart jokes. This is after you do this one.

And he used to do this one, bad guy. So you just lean on it as a friend because it's not part of my act, but now you can use it if you want as a tag. Thanks. Do you want to try it out? Yeah, I'll try it out. Thanks. Take it out to, It on Bo and Yang's podcast.

Do it on Bo. Was he there when you were there? Yeah. That's a fat cast. And 2022, and then you, by the way, you did SNL during the pandemic. And then- Was that the beginning of the end? Yeah, that was challenging. But there was one I had.

Because remember the video game? I don't know if you play games, but Animal Crossing was a big game during the pandemic. And so I was playing. I've been a longtime fan of that game. And Mikey Day and I made a sketch where we're playing online our characters in my town and everyone wants me to die from COVID in the game and he like did such a good job with that's the thing he's just so good at the timing and the jokes and I owe a lot of thanks to him for helping me so much. Especially during that was impossible. I didn't come from sketch writing.

So, and are you guys, you were stand-up, huh? I was just, the first time I did a sketch, like on a stage like that was at Saturday Night Live when I got the shot. So I didn't, same with David, all stand-ups. Yeah. Yeah. So that's where it was always such a struggle to write. I was like, I don't know how.

It's hard to write. But I eventually learned by observing and how other people do, but it's like people like Heidi that came from, like she arrived there and just wrote three in one night. I was like, but she came from that training from ground. It was just really, yeah. And they come in with a lot of sketches

that they did in the ground. Yeah. So it's like it works already. Literally ready for television. Yeah. Do you have to work on it? Cheating. No, I had it.

What about Miley Cyrus? Have you ever seen her sing in real life? Like have you seen her somewhere? Yeah. I think at the show she- Oh, was she on? I love, she's so good. Oh yeah.

She really is. Man. I got a wrecking ball. Wasn't she on a wrecking ball at one point or something? Oh yeah. Yeah, that was a big one. That was a big one. I'm coming like a wrecking ball.

That one? Yeah. What about when she did, you won't know this one, but she did like a prayer. I saw her live in one of her concerts, like a stadium concert. And it was better than Madonna's There I Said It.

Ooh! Yeah, There I Said It. She's good. And I like Madonna's Like a Prayer, it's good. But I think I just, she had a cowboy hat on, Miley, and she came out like a young guns duster, and she fucking wails on every line. I'm like, I would black out.

It's like, ah, I was like, whoa. Yeah, she's good. I'm gonna do it. I'll do impressions. I'll do her. Yeah, do it, David. Yeah, I will. I mean, my impressions were about one a year,

but the problem with SNL is you just get assigned stuff and they go, you read a sketch and read through and you're like, in three pages I have to do, you know, Alec Baldwin. You're like, I do? And they're like, oh yeah, the writers have to- Did they assign you stuff, Melissa, like that? I mean, because that is weird to go. It would happen.

Yeah, for sure it would happen. I think my favorite moment of this happening was, so everyone, Sandler hosted and there was a Sandler family reunion sketch. That was funny. And at the table read, I wasn't originally in it, which is like, why'd you write me in this? I mean, you know, but they had, they were like, hey, the writers were like, hey, can you read

as Waterboy on behalf of Kristen Wiig? Cause she's going to play Waterboy. So I was like, yeah, sure, I'll read it. And I did it so good at table because I'm like, that's my favorite. You know, and Lauren was like, yeah, maybe keep Melissa as Waterboy. So did you just have, did you work on that at all? You just had it. No, I had it because I've always loved Waterboy. Go ahead. Sorry, that's my dog. That's my dog.

Yeah. Sandler's kind of whatever that rhythm he does with the characters that are not too smart. I saw a movie where you played someone that looked just like me. I saw it on a big old screen. I said, Hey, that's me up there now. No wonder it made 300 million. What do they do with KW? Do they kick her some other impressions? No wonder it made 300 million. What did they do with KW? Did they kick her some other impressions? She played the mom character, I think,

from his CDs or something back in, like they're gonna make fun of you. They're all gonna laugh at you. Yeah, they're all gonna laugh at you. Yeah, yeah. I should show her that. Yeah, that was so fun. They're all gonna laugh at you was, is that the album up on the wall?

That's an album, they're gonna laugh at this Sandler Boy or they're just all gonna laugh? It's actually from, I think it was borrowed from Carrie, the movie Carrie, where she was gonna go to school and they go, they're all gonna laugh at you. And he did it as a sketch with Smigel. And he kept saying, they're all going to laugh at you. We were all cracking up the table. Because it was so just kept saying it over and over. Oh, and laughed.

And then he had an album called that. And then we did. I have a poster of all of us recording one of the albums. We just did little bit parts, but definitely the fun of Sandler's being on those albums when the albums were doing something and they would go gold or something. You know what I mean? You go, holy shit, he's got albums. One more thing. Yeah. It's great. Would you ever, um, I don't think you'd want to do this, but it,

it's interesting that you could do a show in Vegas. I'm not saying you should do it, but Danny Gans was, you know, I know it's like you go on, you have the orchestra, you're funny. Right. You do stand up. Pretty much can do every major pop star, which people love seeing. Yeah. Um, I don't know. I'm just saying if you ever were bored and wanted to just go out and live in Vegas for a year. Yeah, I could totally be down. You do really? You do one introducing Gwen Stefani and then you do Gwen Stefani.

Then you do some of your standup and then you go into another song. You do Jennifer Lopez. You come out as Melissa and you do five minutes about you. Like on your Ted talk was really funny how you just worked it all, all full circle. Yeah. It was 12 minutes long. And at the end, it was kind of poignant, you know? Yeah. All right. So it's done deal. That vulnerability. It's a done deal. Tell Vegas. We're doing it. Hello, Vegas. Hey, can I do my show, please?

Can I do? Your favorite one to do is Dolly, right? Dolly? Yeah, I do like Dolly. Because of positivity? Yeah, yeah, that was a bit I had in my, in the TED talk too. It's such a good voice because my voice sounds sarcastic. I don't believe me when I say positive. When I go, I'm smart. Yeah.

But during darling, I'm so smart. I'm lovable. I am capable. I will always love me. Yeah, that was that was and that was the that update. It was the same format as the Gaga one where it's me just admiring them, loving them so much that I dress like them and that nice like balance of being myself, but also doing the impression and singing. And I was like, that was I loved doing those. That was so fun. I heard Gaga on a show, maybe it was Stern, and she was doing Edge of Glory. I didn't really know the song.

I was like, God damn, she's good. Because she was just doing it with nothing. She's like, I'm on the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge. I was like in my car going, oh shit. Is that that's a good that's not the one you do, though, right? The Gaga update was like I did the shallow because that movie. Oh, that's a big it's a funny song in a way. Yeah, because the Shah ha hallo in the shop.

Yeah. Yeah. Rhythm, you know that rhythm? You know? Have you seen the video of her doing a read through at a Stars Born read through? Wait. She's doing it with the whole cast is doing a read through and she's by Bradley Cooper and she sings it

and everyone's like, holy shit. Whoa, the chemistry. How? I did a cheesy standup bit about that because I had, I frequently, Mike Myers was at the Oscars that year, wanted me to come. He was, he was there for Bohemian Rhapsody. So I was in the third row with my wife and I saw, you know, Gaga and Bradley Cooper up there and there was no lighting on the piano, but I had a view

to what was going on where who was reaching for what in the shadows. Yeah. I had you going. But the truth of the story, I did have a view and I thought they were, you know, lovers just for my blink. I know. It's pretty nice though. So you, just quickly, not to, you said that you had panic attacks. So we've had on the show, Bill Hader, well I was surprised, just said really intense panic attacks, like crazy. I said even the last season,

it could seem like he was just so loose, but so we all battled mental health issues in a sense of just the pressure of the show and stuff. And then you wrote a book about it basically. Yeah, whoops, I'm awesome. I do a lot of drawings on the side and they're, they're funny and also heartfelt. So I put them together in a book about how do you get to that silly side of yourself when you get so serious or so caught up in it. So I separate, you know. But yeah, I think I was just too much in my head.

I was like, I think I just remember there was one time at a table read like the break and I was, I couldn't, I don't remember how I got there, but I was kind of running through the halls, like panicking and I couldn't catch my breath. And I was like, and people were like, whoa, are you, and I couldn't, I don't know, I didn't know where I was or something. It was too much.

I think I, I don't know how that felt. What season was that? How long? That was the last season, yeah. And it was still kind of like, you know, cause even anyone, even if you were able to manage it, you still, there is some sense of relief when you walk away, even though there's nostalgia and this is now behind me,

because, you know, with Lauren, he would just, because with Lauren, he was like the coach. And do you have any new characters or are you just gonna stick with the church lady? How it gives you a little nudge so you feel like I would worry about the show. Are we doing well? But David passed out pretty much every other re-drill. Just completely passed out.

No, I pretended I was passed out because I wasn't in sketches. So I go, I couldn't be in anyway because I'm asleep. So I just lay down on the table. No, that was just low blood sugar. No, I did get that problem, but I was so stressed out of my fucking gourd. I couldn't see straight. But also my hair got brown. I only had white blonde hair my whole life. And I never been anywhere where it wasn't sunny.

Whoa. And I'm like and and, you know, New York, sunny 10 minutes a day. When it's noon and it comes through the buildings. Yeah. And it's and it's noon. You're just inside. Yeah. It's shadowy again. So I'm like getting like no sun on my body, no vitamin D, no one's drinking water, no one's eating healthy.

It's all pasta and pizza. It's all popcorn in what Lauren's office. That was the main thing. And he has the best popcorn. Yes. The best. If nothing else, Massanel. Everything Lauren has is the best.

We have good popcorn. Lauren has the best water, my socks, you get them at the Heathrow Airport. Dude, if there's an earthquake, that would be my safe room. I got to climb into Lauren's office. The whole movie would be me getting to Lauren's office to get like lifesavers. Let's put up the titanium shell, shall we?

No blasts, wephemy through it. No cast members. No feature players. Would you like some sushi? Do you want to hand roll? Press a button. But how did you like that, you know, Bill Hader talked to it, you talked to it. So now that when you are away from it, are you better?

Are you? I do feel, I feel great. Yeah. Yeah. And I, but I also want to still keep working on. I'm a people pleaser. Are you guys as comedians? I have such a. I want to be as strong as these other comedians and performers,

where it's like you get you just push through and still stay true to yourself. I think I I. Well, I had the need to please disease, or it's still a naturally organic thing for me. But I had two personalities. The other side of me was really competitive. So one time I was in this club and you know, there's sort of these alpha comics. They're not necessarily funny, but they scare the audience. Like just really loud.

Hulk. Yeah. What the fuck? You know, the fucking fucking. Look at this fucking guy in the front row and everyone's like, uh. Yeah. Uh. They were kind of laughing at me.

Yeah. Look at this fucking guy. What are you going to go? Who you going to fuck? Right, right, right. So those guys were kind of giving me, you know, because I had little boys, paid a haircut and I looked 12, you know, and they. And they were kind of giving me a little soft, a little bit of shit. Kind of laughing me a little bit. So I said, okay, I'm going to get

multiple standing ovations. So I always love it when I come off the stage and the guy was really cocky and kind of give me attitude. I see the fear in their eyes. Their eyes get real big. That's what I live for when I just hurt their very being. So I have a passive aggressive people, please. But on the show, the people I hooked up with on a regular basis, I don't mean sexually, but I had Mike Myers was my partner. And so score machine, Garth. I love doing Garth. I love it. Like Tom Hanks said, sometimes it's great to be the guy next to the guy. And then Hansen Franz was with, uh, my good friend and then Phil Hartman with Johnny Carson. And so, and there, there was no competition. It's just totally all of the- Everyone's scoring, yeah. Yeah.

So how would you, how would it manifest yourself if you wanted to be more strident in the green room or where would it, cause you're just, you're the headliner, you go in the club and I mean, well, how would that, how would that- Like now? What would it look like right now if you, what are your, I don't see what you're trying to

become. I mean more aggressive in the green room or with comedians? No, I think I just. It's probably less competitive now. It's less competitive. Yeah. And I, I find the people I love working with, if each for me, it's more fun, right? And even just, yeah, just the friends that, that helped me be a better person and performer. That's how I want to just play and create stuff, you know? Yeah, cause at the end of the day, right now, it's you on the stage with your audience

and everything else is background. Yeah. Also, you know you're going on because at SNL, you might have weeks you're not going on. So if you can go to a standup set, you know you're going on because at SNL you might have weeks you're not going on. So if you can go to a standup set, you're like, at least I'm getting 15 minutes or an hour where I get to do it. So that's fun. You get to write for it.

You get to have a beginning, middle, end. And that's tough at SNL if you're not in anything or you have two lines here and you're like, I feel like I'm getting behind, you know, like it's all the same weird feelings. Yeah. I've been doing this. It makes a lot of sense for me, but I've been doing it. And you're welcome to do a set if you'd like, but I do a morning show now at 10 a.m. at a little theater in Alta Dena.

It's called Fresh Coffee, Fresh Bits. And everyone just does new bits and I bring coffee for the crowd. Wow, that's a great idea. Just get up, have coffee and then it makes it makes so much sense. I told Taylor Thompson the other day, I was like, it makes and she was like, yeah, that makes perfect sense because you're a good person. Because at comedy club, she was like, yeah, comedians are horrible humans. Well, we're not great. No, no, you guys are great. I'm not saying no, I know what you're saying. No, it's no, I mean, there were people who really hung out and the comedians would hang out and go plays, do this.

And I'd have a few friends and stuff. I wasn't anti-social, but I never really liked to be around like 15 comics hanging out. Maybe one or two, but you, is this true? Like you have fans and they call themself Melissa Monsters? Like, you know, you're like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I one or two. But you, is this true? Like you have fans and they call

themselves Melissa Monsters? Well, Melissa Monster. Yeah, that was after the Gaga update. But yeah, I think I've just been leaning more into the place where it's kind of a little kinder and a little and I feel like my comedy it's that it's that, you know, I don't feel I feel like my comedy, it's that. I feel like when I go after really tough comics, like you were saying, that have... I don't know how to... But I'm trying to... I know I'm a good performer, but I just have a lot of... And it's nice.

I try to make sure it's joyful for myself too. I think that's the operative word. And you have a lot of, well, this sounds militaristic, but you have a lot of weapons. The way you can throw your voice around instantly. And at monologists, jokesmiths, they don't get to do, like, if I start to get into a rhythm as Johnny Carson, I'll go 10 minutes or, you know, I don't care. Do you have any jokes?

No, I'm just riding the wave. But you know, joke people and writers, I have so much respect for them. They need to have, like, Dave Attell needs to have three or four punch lines a minute. So his special was 35 minutes and it was fantastic. But boy, he had to set up punch and brilliant turns, you know, but people like you, you're a performer, you're out there, you're fluid, you're, you're, uh, Yeah. And I, and I, and yeah, writing like, like punch lines and stuff, it's, uh, that's what's hard for me, but I try to meet with, like I actually do write with Neelan and he helps me a lot with those, just those quick

little- Oh, he's great. Yeah. God damn, he's so fast. I'm like, how come I didn't see that? You know? He's one of the best that can do it, yeah. He's the best at a guy come out like, okay, we're going to get started here in a minute.

He's got the mic up really high and he's moving really slow. And then, all right, we're pretty much halfway done. Okay. You know, he has all these funny... I came out on lights out and he's sitting there. He's the panel, you know, he's on the panel. And after three update jokes, he goes, David, what do you think you're going to wear tonight? I go, I think I'm just gonna go with this.

He goes, oh, okay, keep going. Yeah, he's got a million of those. Yeah, just these throw away nothing things. Yeah, all right, good. Like kind of dopey. We love Kevin, but yeah, it's good. You and him are a pair, but it's great when you're around friends and they're comedians

and you can tag each other's stuff or, hey, you could maybe do that, or, you know, when you're just out to dinner with a few of them and stuff. So yeah, Neelan, he's also just a very nice person. He's a good guy. You know, but you can be a nice person and still win in show business, case in point.

Yeah. Yeah, but we all have doubts. still win in show business case in point. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, um, we all have doubts. Let's see. Passive, aggressive, and a people pleaser. Well, my, my, did you go to therapy? Cause I was in therapy for five years about people pleasing. Oh yeah. She's, she's, she said I was a people pleaser and I said, God, that's a great observation. That's who said you're a therapist. I got it. That's good.

Is that your closer? She said you have ADD. She said you have ADD. I go, look, a butterfly. I got to tie my shoe. What'd you say? Oh boy. She said I was passive aggressive.

I said, well, you've known me for a couple of weeks. I've known me for 60 years, but you're probably right. Anybody, is this on? Turn into a chunk, Melissa. No, I know, I know. Now I think I got distracted because, David, where are you? I'm in a cell. This is...

No, I'm just looking at the skateboards and then there's like little nails on the wall. Were you hanging something there before? Yes. Good up, the Colombo. This is dark green, but it looks light green and we're having a problem with that. And then people at home can turn off the show now.

But also I had, you know, it was up there. It was that picture. Well, anyway, I had a picture up there, but it reflected too much. And then it was a big thing. Also, I had, you know what was up there? It was that picture. Well, anyway, I had a picture up there, but it reflected too much. And then it was a big thing. And then I said, why not just more me and less background goofiness?

So I went with that. Well, if you move your laptop down, would you be more centered in the frame or Greg Crofts? No, I go like this. There's Bruce Lee, of course, on a skateboard. And I just- Because Melissa has a really nice, tight frame. Well, she knows what she's doing.

I'm new at this. Sorry about the scruff. 200 shows in. Don't be jealous. It's for the ladies. I look blurry too. Everything's gone wrong on my end. I'm gonna jump off.

Melissa, thank you. It was great talking to you. Thank you, guys. This is so cool. Congratulations on your six years on SNL, honestly. Thank you. It was great talking to you. Thank you guys. This is so cool. Congratulations on your six years on us, you know, honestly. Thank you. Only on that. Congratulations on your six years.

Well, and then the rest of your life. I see Melissa at the improv sometimes, and I followed her last time. Yeah. Remember? See, this shit's happening out there, Dana. I love it. We're out there fist bumping. I mean, the great trying to catch the wind

of the arts, in essence, is that you're always trying to write your best bit, have your best show, and that never ends. And that's why you can't ever climb Comedy Mountain and get to the very top. So it's this elusive, cool thing, and you seem to be on that journey.

Ladies and gentlemen, you know, but you know, just trying to find, here's my skillset, here's who I am and I can go anywhere I want with my eyes. So anything positive to end with David or are you gonna go out cranky? No, she's tired. I'm cranky, yes. I'm gonna get in here with the interior decorator.

We're gonna move the nails. Oh, you need to make sure you eat. I'm gonna move the nails around and put them in different spots. No, I didn't mean to. It looks fine. You could keep it. Okay.

That skateboard says Jack Spade. That was at my brother's company. Okay, well, I'll write you an email with the rest of this. You guys, thank you so much. Enjoy this so much. Thank you, Melissa. Bye, Melissa. Thank you guys.

Thank you. Have a good this so much. Thank you, Melissa. Bye, Melissa. Thank you, guys. Thank you. Have a good day. Bye. Hola. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all this stuff. Smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts.

Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.