Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - One Leg Outta The Pantyhose with Leanne Morgan

Episode Date: August 20, 2026

 Leanne Morgan joins David and Dana this week to talk about flirting with Glenn Powell, tobacco farming, and season two of her Netflix sitcom, Leanne. Also, slipping her act into her jewelry home parties, corporate stand-up gigs, and what it’s like to work with Chuck Lorre.

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Do you remember that? Conference Center. They're all in the back. They're eating. Yeah, bar in the back, clanking and doing. Chicken cord over. Clanking and doing. Clanking and doing.

Scratching and yawning. Leanne Morgan. Yes. And Morgan is sort of someone blowing up recently. A little later in life. A little later in life, I understand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Making a big fush.

People are really fussing and fighting over her. And we talked a lot of southern jargon with her. Yeah, she probably has the strongest accent of anyone. She's like out of a movie or a book, a great voice. She's like, now you two angels. Yeah. Yes, my darling. darling oh my darling i know i scared you when i met you i scared i lurched at you i lurched at you

i lurched at you and you recoiled you came out yeah so she's just a fun machine and a funny funny funny funny person uh it's uh it's almost like yeah it's she's i we've never had anyone quite like her but really funny and um she talks about her tour she's on tour now is a stand-up huge tour Netflix special that blew her up and now she has a follow-up special, doing theaters, traveling around her own show, Leanne on Netflix. Half-hour comedy. It's season two right now. August 27th.

With Chuck Lori, who's probably the, arguably the biggest TV producer. You know, he's two and a half men. He's in Big Bang Theory. Yeah, and you'll hear the story of how that all happened. It's definitely different how she ended up getting on doing that show. It's definitely never happened to me. Definitely never. I've never heard it happen to anyone, except maybe Marlon Brando. Yeah, something like that.

And anyway, we just laughed the whole time. So here you go, folks. Leanne Morgan. This is a real rag-tag podcast, Leanne. I can hear you now, my darling from heaven. Oh, you can hear me better? Great, okay. My darling from heaven.

I will say Leanne is always nice when you see her out in the real well. Is she? I am, y'all. I'm not a butthole. I mean, I've got flaws, but I am not a butt hole. No, I was kidding. Your reputation is very nice and friendly. Thank you. I was telling Dana that y'all, I am in love with y'all, and I love this podcast, and thank y'all for even letting me be on here, because I know it's a big deal. It's such a big deal. I'm shocked. I'm on it. I look at my sense, because I dare anyone who does this if you're on a laptop and your fucking face is just sitting there for an hour and you kind of go, what's that? You know, I mean, it's a little weird because like, you know, if you go on a talk show, there's a monitor there. Basically, you're talking to Jimmy Fallon or whatever.

You're not really looking right at your face. But anyway, enough about that. Wait, Dana, when you go on Jimmy Fallon or Kimmel, there's like 10 mirrors in your dressing room. And then you have a stylist walking out with you and Fritzy. Then there's another mirror. Stop for a selfie. Stop for TikTok for Jimmy. Stop for this.

Stop. Then mirrors, mirrors, mirrors. And you're about to go on. Here's another mirror. You like yourself. You like yourself. I don't go. And then you're out there like, and then you look totally different once you're out there.

I have a lot of questions for Leah. Oh, yeah. Because you are, it's amazing what you've done. It's very cool. I, you know, I could start anywhere. I don't really know. I started out in clubs. There were no comedy clubs.

That's how far back I go. I played delicatessence and dive bars. And now I live on a farm with horses. So you started on a farm and now you've conquered Hollywood. Yes. Kind of, yeah. I'm farming. I'm farming people, Dana.

My people are farmers for generations back. And how were you with that? little animals as a kid. Do you love them? Love them. But we didn't, I mean, we had cows and all that kind of stuff, but, um, the basics. The basics, but, um, but it was mainly tobacco. We raised tobacco where I'm from for cigarettes and scold in Copenhagen.

Fuck yeah. Wow. That might explore. Show dirt would be nothing without that. Yeah, that's, that's a good one. Did anyone ever say to you when you're eight years old? It's, Leanne, it's time to water the tobacco plants. Were you working?

Yeah. But my people didn't work me, but I would say, can I go in lay sticks? They called it lay sticks where the men could come behind you and cut the tobacco and put it on the stick. And I thought that would be fun, but I did it a couple of days and it was hot. And then I didn't want to do it. And then I pulled plants out of the little bed where you pull the plants and then they put it on a tractor. And there was a machine where you just put a plant in a tractor and it would plan them. I did that a few times for my people.

But then I didn't want to work, you know. That was hard. You said, I didn't say lay sticks. I said I wanted LASICs. That's why she doesn't wear glasses. But did you, when you were a little kid, like at whatever age, surely you guys had a TV. Did you ever, when did you first occur in your brain? Like maybe, maybe I could be on TV and be funny like that person.

Um, nine or 10 years old. Okay, me too. I just knew it. Who are you watching? Who are you seeing? Oh my gosh, y'all. Tony Fields, Joan Rivers. Joan Rivers, Phyllis Diller. Phyllis Diller.

Back then, I'm 60 years old. So, um, oh my gosh, I love Johnny Carson. I love watching all the comedians that came on Johnny Carson. I loved Saturday Night Live, and my mama would let me watch it. And it was Dan Aykroyd and Jim Belushi doing the bees. Do you remember the bees? Of course. You know?

And my dad would get mad and say, she doesn't need to be watching this, Lucille, because this is nasty and she's too little. But my mama knew I loved it, and she would let me set up and watch that. But I loved television, sitcoms, movies. I mean, I just loved all of it. And I thought, I'm going Hollywood. I'm going to be, and I would tell my mama, and she would go, yeah, you will. And yeah, you're going to do it.

But Longwood, I was out in the middle of nowhere, but outside of Nashville, Tennessee. So I would go to the grocery store and see the Mandrell sisters and Porter Wagner and people like that. So I would look at them and think, I'm not a country music star, but I'm like them. I've got a kinship with them. anybody famous you were like i could do that did you were you uh funny around your peers and and people in class like we used kind of doing that then yes like look at this little show monkey there look at that she was popular because she also brought rolled up cigarettes for everyone that she got at home yeah i did this way this one special for you yeah and so it's funny because

when I was that age, I was loving all the same stuff you were, but I didn't, it didn't cross in mind I could do it. That's a big jump. So, because I was in Arizona, everyone's from somewhere, but Arizona. No, not many people are from Hollywood. So wherever they are, it's always a big jump. So you're on a pig farm or wherever and smoking tobacco and going like this. One day, that's going to be me. They're like, she's doing four packs a day. She's 11. Yeah. I'm going to make it, everybody. Put it out. I did. I did. I did. I did steal my mom's cigarettes and get in an old car up on a piece of land that we had and take a baby doll and a pocketbook and acting like I was driving to town. I didn't inhale at that time.

Yeah. I did later. Yeah. But I was like to get afraid. Yeah. You figured out the fun part later. We all stole my mom cigarettes, me and my three brothers, my sister. Yeah.

Kent, I think they were. And we smoked cigarettes for about a year, but not too many because we didn't want her to know we were stealing. him and then we would give you a buzz, though. We would eat ice plant to cover up the smell of the smoke. So we ate ice plant, and then we'd come in and they go, what have you been doing? Nothing. So anyway, did you? Candy cigarettes were a hit, too.

I loved a candy cigarette. And see, my little family in this town of 500 people had the grocery store. So that's where I would dazzle as I would eat candy cigarettes. And you would dazzle? And do a character. Yeah. Can we hear it? What would you say? Well, I mean, my mama would be, you know, checking people out. It was one little thing, you know, where you check out. And she'd have on a Bridget Bardot hairpiece. I've got a beautiful mama. And she would, I would be sitting in her lap and I was in kindergarten. And I don't even know what I was saying. But I remember her going, Lynn, look, here's Mr. So-and-so. Here's Miss So-and-so. And I just thought, oh, I've got to entertain. I mean, I did crowd work. I did crowd work at the grocery store. at age 11.

I love it. And you crush. As I was drinking tab and spraying lysol, because I had access to all the lysol. I could spray. Fun, yeah. It was fun. Everyone goes right to the Lysol. There's so many references here.

They go grab anything in this grocery store you want. I love TAB, by the way. Holy shit. No, come on, you guys. I swear to God, I was in a Diet Pepsi. They didn't have Diet Coke yet. No. And I got in a Tab run for a while.

That was my... A&W root beer. Did they have A&W in Tennessee? Yeah, I think so, my darling. I've never been a root beer person, but I think so. Okay. What kind of person were you? Well, we were a big deal because we had a Coke machine, you know, in a little town.

Oh, okay. And then, yeah, so I... Coke machine was big, yeah. A big, if you had the Cokes and then, you know, and then my family closed or sold that grocery store and opened a meat processing plant. And we also had a Coke-Cola machine there. Okay. So you were faithfully Coke because it probably had seven up in there.

It was Coke. Coke, Dr. Pepper, Diet Dr. Pepper. Ooh. Yeah. Mountain Dew maybe back then. That came up later. You know, that was, I remember Mountain Dew probably when I went to do. Yeah, R.C. Cola.

Okay. Okay. Mehi orange soda. Shasta. I love an orange soda. To this day, I've got to have one every once in a while, a little something over eyes. Yeah, they've treated yourself. They're making money.

They're fun. Orange is fun. So you're on this, you're on this farm. You're a chain smoker. Yeah. You're nine years old. You're doing crowd work with all the cowboys. You guys together?

Grocer stores. And so what, like, so then you got married and had kids. So I'm just wondering what was the delay? Because you seems like someone who would be in clubs. at 19 or 21. Oh, y'all. Well, I love me and David. David knows that because I met him at Zanis and I charged towards him and I think it

scared you, Dave. Do you remember that? No, you were very friendly, yes. But I went and you went, what? You lurched. I did. You might have your kids with you or did them with you? I don't think I did, my darling.

Haven't I seen you with your kids. Yes, Maggie. And maybe both of my daughters. in L.A. next to the comedy store, you were going to go do a cent. And they were out there with me for some reason. And then my baby child, my 28-year-old is my makeup artist. She's in the union and everything out in L.A. And she works with me on my show on Netflix.

And then she tours with me too and keeps me alive. Wow. That is so nice. Yeah. Listen, you guys know how much I love multitasking. That's what everyone's always stopping. me and asking me about. Lately, my secret weapon's been Amazon Music. I used to jump in between three different apps to get through my day because I'm weird.

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You're always doing the laundry. I do loads and loads of it all day. Sundays. Yeah, Sunday's Laundry Day. Boo, I got 55 of these. And it just fits perfectly into my routine. I recently queued up Project Hail Mary. Yeah, which was a great movie,

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I mean, you're... I did see Roseanne. I remember on tonight show. I remember I saw her and I was like out of the blue. So that's, that's a housewife and that's someone that she looked like, she started a hair later than normal. Yeah, yeah, I think so. Because she was already, was she divorced? Was she? No, not yet. She hit it big, that one set that you're talking about.

And I remember it, the uterus honing device. Domestic goddess. Yes. And then Julio Iglesis was sitting on that couch and asked her to go tour in with him because I saw Roseanne, like in the last couple of years, and Netflix is a joke, festival. She was staying, I was staying in a hotel. I was drinking coffee talking to my middle child.

Roseanne came in to get up to get a Bloody Mary at the bar because she needed to have a bowel movement. Okay. And that's what she said to me, Leanne. And I said, I'm a fan. You don't know me. She goes, yes, I do. I know who you are, Leanne. And we sat down and talked for a long time.

And she told me that story. And Julio Iglesis, after that, she divorced that daddy of those children. Okay. But I remember seeing that set and it blowing me away. but I always love Richard Lewis. I was a big fan of Richard Lewis on the Tonight Show. Jay Leno, David Letterman.

But I went, my little high school, I graduated with 42 people. One boy in there went on to Juilliard, became an actor, and has been in a bunch of stuff out of our little country town. He was a dairy farmer. And then, so I was in one play.

I played Stupifying Jones. I wore a bathing suit with panty hose. but I had no lines, but I thought, this is it. This is the beginning. You got the bug. Yeah, yeah. And then, but I was a little country kid, and it never dawned on me to get in a car and drive to L.A. at 18 with no money like you hear people do.

I was scared to death and I thought, I know it's going to happen. I don't know when, but everybody was pushing me to go to college and I wanted to go to college. So I went on to college and through some real bad decisions, ups and day. A lot of sin, y'all, a lot of sand. What are you talking about? Were you in a dorm? Yes, my dog.

Yeah, I was in a dorm and I went to the University of Tennessee. So that's where it all happens. No, no, I mean, sin was. I was sin. You were sin. But I dropped out. Your career pause for some sin? Yeah, and I didn't know what to.

I just didn't know how. how to do like, you know, when people say I'm going to Hollywood. I didn't know how to get there. I didn't know. So I just waited it out. And then I tried to take a theater class at UT. And it was a woman in a tight bun. And she said, if you're not majoring in theater, get out. And I'm a real follower. So I didn't take that class. I went on and got out. And, but I really am not a theater person. I don't think anything. Right. You find your way. I mean, you think it's the whole showbiz. And then you start to narrow down what you're into. And yours is comedy.

Mine was comedy. I think Dana. Dana could be more theater because he's got, he's a little broader. He can do more stuff. Well, I like sketch. I like sketch. But I think you,

he likes sketches too. Have you, sorry, I don't know this. Have you hosted SNL yet? No. I want to. I would love to. Just give me a second.

Yeah, call him, Dana. Lauren? Yeah. Neil Morgan. Hello. Oh, she's in your purview. Okay. Yeah, next season.

She's on a tour now. If she can fit it in. Well, I'll just say what he's saying. A time of our lives now tour, yes, I'm very aware. Marcy and I are going to go in Montgomery. But you should be on SNO because you're an actor up there too. I mean, you're a sketch player up there. You're not a one-liner.

It's all with attitude. Thank you, Dana. I did do improv one time and I loved it and I felt alive. and I thought, oh my gosh, this is it. But then I didn't know it was my high school, and I didn't know at UT. I didn't know if there was an improv. There was a comedy club that Steve Harvey and all these people went through. I never went.

I don't know why. Not even to watch. To watch? Not even to watch, y'all. I was smoking cigarettes and making out with people. Have an S-E-X. In that order? It's just, make out and then have a cigarette.

Yeah. And then another cigarette after. Yeah. Do you go to Zanis? is that your home club or no? Yeah, well, I did. That was the first time I ever got up on stage and I opened for Billy Gardell

and I called that club and I was, and my baby child was 18 months old. She's now 28. And then Brian Dorfman that owns that club is now my concert promoter who said to me, I think you've got something, but you've got three babies. And he said, how are you going to do this,

Lane? You can't do it like, you know, a male, a man can. So then we've, We sold our, we had a business, we sold all that, moved to San Antonio, Texas, and that's when I first had Austin Cat City Comedy Club and all in, in San Antonio Club, and I would get up every night. And they were like three, five and seven then my kids. So that's when I, first time I had a club and really felt like a comedian, you know. This is where you go from Nashville, which is a pretty, not a huge comedy scene more now, but they only have, they pretty much only have Zanis, which is a bad.

But you, what makes you go to, you said, San Antonio? Yeah, San Antonio. My husband's job. He works for a big. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. And so he moved us down there. I'm sorry.

And that's, but I really got started, y'all, selling jewelry in women's houses. Because I, and having these home parties, because I had little babies. And I ran my first baby and now I got pregnant with my other baby. So anyway, I look back on it and I had my own little, it was like comedy clubs. I was going to have these women in these, you know, and somebody would make a dip and we'd eat a brownie. And I was supposed to be talking about jewelry. And instead I was developing like the first 45 minutes.

During your act. Yeah, I was up there going, I got a humoroid and I've been breastfeeding. And, you know. So they're laughing their ass off because you're not in the conceit. They're supposed to be funny. You're just being funny in a, in a, and you're selling jewelry. So how long did you do that? And were you just, I mean, it.

I was killing it, Dana. Oh, that's what I'm down. I didn't want to say. that and get ahead of you, but it seemed like you would crush in that environment. But were you selling and crushing or just it was more benefit of your stand? I was selling and I was, the women thought I was funny. And so I was booking like a year in advance. Oh my God. And these parties. And you know, nobody wants to have a party, really. Nobody wants to go and have to buy something they don't want. But these were little ear, you know,

it was a good price point like 1999 for an earring. Eat a dip and, you know, and me put on a show. Yep. Yeah. Get everything. Get here, a few jokes. Yeah. And that company noticed that I was booking so far in advance, so they asked me to speak at their big things.

And that was when I thought, okay, I can do it. I think I could be a stand-up. Is this in your 20s? 20s, early 30s? This is my early 30s. Okay. You know, Dana, these are like starting with corporate gigs, which is even harder and then going to comedy clubs,

because corporates you probably do now. But that's like a corporate. you're doing it for the company. And it's always a little to a lot harder than a regular gig, as we all can be. But in those little living rooms with the jewelry, it seems like, she goes to like the big company once a year party.

And they're like, entertain our troops. Those are where it gets a little dicey high roof, high ceiling, marion. Cables. Yeah. Conference center.

They're on the back. They're eating. Yeah. Bar in the bag. Flanking and doing. Chicken cord over. Clanking and. doing planking and tan.

Scratching and yawning. Fucking fussing and fighting. Yeah, so the first time I went to a comedy club, I was like, oh my God, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I had a ball at a comedy club, and I would get up at midnight. San Antonio would let me get up at midnight at the river center.

And people were high on marijuana. And I was up there in a kitten. Oh, marijuana. Yeah. You know, and they were drunk and messed up. And then I would get up and talk about do-do balls on a tee ball field. And I think that was some of the best training I could have ever hanged. Is that because you were putting the kids to bed and then doing a set or something?

Yes, I would go. Yeah, and then get up and take them to school the next morning. You know, this reminds me my mom a little bit, not because you're older than me, but just because when I was little like your kids and my mom wanted to be a writer, and then my mom, my dad left when we were like four, six, and eight. So she had three, the same situation. but had to make money. I think she did a few Tupperware parties.

I think to stay home because it's so hard to leave us. And then she had, she worked probably two jobs a day, just doing literally anything to get us old enough to where we could get through it all. But this kind of mind that she would do stuff after we went to bed or she'd have a sitter come. But she had like no life.

And I see that of her wanting to write and she wrote more along the way, but it took her 30 to 40 years to do something you should have taken four because she's no time. And then now she even has a little book right now. She's 85. Yeah. Oh my God.

I know. The book is called What in the World? I thought that was ironic. That's the same title. Your book. No, your mom's book. Oh, my mom is called What in the World? No, I'm kidding.

No, that's the case. Oh, my God. I was about to say. Is that what it's called? No, that's Leslie. That is her. She has a real one, but. She has a real book.

But Leanne is sort of similar because she's hustling, three kids, but you do have the husband there. I didn't know if you were divorced or had the husband. No, I had Chuck Morgan, honey. I've still got Chuck Morgan. And thank God for him. Yeah, Chuck Morgan. I'm making him famous and I shouldn't have.

But yeah, he always had a, you know, really good job. And so I never had to struggle. Like, I didn't have to take, I took bad gigs because I wanted to be on stage anytime I could. But I didn't, I had something to fall back on. So I was very lucky with that. I didn't have to make a living. Your little mama going through that. I don't know how she did it.

That's tough. It's very tough. And also the 70s plus, she was gorgeous. You're very pretty. Like just that whole dynamic in the real world is just a tough situation. Well, I want to meet your mama, that dog. Yeah, she would crack up at you. I have to tell her because she likes Nate, of course.

She likes all these comics. Nate. I try to recommend that. as Nate says, he's everyone's parents' favorite comic. Well, I noticed that you on your tour, you have four o'clock shows. Oh, you do four o'clock shows too. And Nate does. So give me a four o'clock.

You are, even though you talk about certain, you know, menopause or whatever, feminine hygiene, whatever, are you, do you have kids, little kids in there? Are you completely PG? Because I think Nate is, isn't he? One of the great stand up, cleaner than you. Completely clean. Yeah, I have in Yendo, and I have to talk about doing it with Chuck Morgan because he's killing me. Yeah, so I have to talk about nasty, but I do it in a way that's not, you know.

No, it's very cleverly done. It's not in your face. It's mostly just really funny because you're kind of have to tell the secret and you're not really coming out and saying it. The comedy is in the, well, you're using all these analogies and metaphors. Dana, when they say, well, Dane is pretty clean, but when they say, we can't have you be dirty,

I could say the F word four times in there, and they won't even know it, because it's all done in this goofy way of, like, sex or going to doctor. It's all, like, in a fun way, because they had one comic there once, and they were so dirty and so descriptive that they're like,

we just can't have that. And that's what they think when they hear dirty. They just go clean it up. So yours is probably in a way packaged to where people don't walk away horrified. What's the bit that you do that you have to navigate the best because you're talking about adult issues. You know, because you don't want to lose.

What's your risky one? Or you don't really have a specific two or three where you rewrote them so they take them out in case if it's too. Okay, yeah. I've got one, y'all, that's always I have to think about. That is me on Sunday morning before we go to church, having to take one leg out of my panty hose because Chuck's staring at me and we've, and he wants to do it.

And if I don't do it, then we're going to have a horrible day and we can't go eat chicken after church. So that one is descriptive. Because I talk about that I'll, we put the pieces together. Yeah. Like, okay,

I'll take one leg out of these panty hose, Chuck. Hurry, you've got three minutes. I can't always do that at a corporate. You know, I mean, sometimes I can, but, you know, I mean, compared to other people, that's pretty, it's pretty tame. I think, I think that's really funny. The week before they had Martin Lawrence and they're like, we need to have a discussion because he went crazy.

But, you know, sometimes it's you get what you pay for. Now, Martin Lawrence is hysterical and he is what he is. And Sarah Silverman, she's like, I got fired from one. And I'm like, you hired me. Have you looked at one thing? Everything she does has some. as much sexual,

but something where you could go, oh, that would offend me. And she does it in such a cute way, though. But, you know,

you have to know what you're getting. And I think these people blindly talk to some CIA agent, and they're like, you got this guy, this guy, we got Leanne,

she's good for you, this, which one do you want? And they just go, I'll take her. Here's a price point. You know, all these things going to, and so you get there,

I've been there and they're like, well, you do stand up, you're from the movies, right? I'm like, well, actually,

I'm quite the stand-up. And they're like, yeah, we'll see. And so then I do it. And sometimes it's fucking crickets. But the scary thing. They're not the worst, though, y'all. I just did one, and it was nice. It was nice at the win.

And it was a lot of money. And it was a lot of men that do some kind of lawyer work. And I just could tell that there was probably a little more. woman that worked there that said, we ought to get Leanne. I love Leanne. And so, and they had Eli Manning one night talk about football. And then they had Oz the mentalist, you know, Oz the mentalist. Oh, yeah. He kills. He kills and he's everywhere. Every, I see him, everywhere I go. Okay. And then I was the third night. And I thought, I mean, it, and it wasn't crickets, but I mean, there were times, I mean, I had to work like a mule. And I thought,

But it's a bunch of men. You don't know if they play golf all day if they've been in a – They have. Or they've been in a conference. They're burned out. And you just got to do what you do. And you know it works everywhere else. Well, here's the two things you ask.

The two things you ask are what time did they get up this morning? They got up at 6 a.m. for a breakfast meeting. Okay. One does the open bar start? Five. When do I go on? 11. All right.

Okay. I get it. I get it. And you're falling. You pretend you're killing. That's the key to corporates. This is great. And I bombed horribly.

I come off stage. There's the handlers there. They're looking down. I go, God, that was fun. I mean, these are really hard usually. What a great crowd. I know it's late. Yeah, yeah.

And I hypnotize them into thinking I killed. Okay. I'm going to do that. Definitely. That was so much fun. I know they'd seen a lot today. But boy, was that a blunt.

last. That's the way to do it, Dana. Leanna, if you have to do 60 and you're doing 39, because you walk off and you go, did I go too long? And they go, what, no, you actually were sure. Oh, thank God. I thought I was like an hour and a half. They're like, no, no, because then they can't get mad.

You went too short. They're like, no, no, you didn't go over. And you're like, oh, God, okay, thanks for the check. Yeah, they want me to do 70. I go, you really want 40. You really want 40, 45. Trust me. Max.

Really? Jeff, you've ever read this happen to you? I hadn't done stand up for a while. I'm playing the desert in Vegas and I'm going through my act and I feel like I finished all that I got. It's 29 minutes. 100%.

And you get into a panic mode. Like, what the fuck else do I have? Yeah, I start doing mentalist work. I go, ma'am, are these your pubes? Well, you do crowd work. crowdwork is that Vic Henley who you might remember Yes yes

I used to live with Rick Vic Henley in Arizona When we both were starting out He was new He's like Spider If you don't got the time Which you don't And I don't

I go how do you fucking headline You have 21 minutes He's like I talk to the crowd I go and say what Crowd yeah By the way crowd work wasn't really a thing back then I'm like what the So I tried it.

I go to this guy, what do you do for a living? And he goes, I'm a mechanic. I go, great. Hey, dogs are funny. Went right back into my act. Crickets.

I don't know what to say. He said it's so easy. I'm like, do you do crowd work? I used to love, not nail, because I'm in theaters and stuff where you can't,

you know, it makes sense to me. Yeah, and I don't want make people to feel left out. But in a club, I will, like if I'm working on, a new hour and I got to pull stuff out of my butt while I'm trying to figure out what in the

world I'm going to do. Yes. But when I first got started in San Antonio, there was a guy that managed the club, God loving, that used to be like a T&GI Friday's manager. And I was doing some crowd work at midnight with people home marijuana and I was having a good time. And he, I got off stage and he goes, you don't need to be doing that. We don't want you to do crowd work because, or whatever he called it at the time, because we don't want any hecklers and we don't want people to get out of control because it was such a wild. And I was scared to death and I thought, okay, I'll never do it again if that's not what I'm supposed to be doing.

And he didn't know what he was talking about. Yeah, one guy. It's all the rage now. Hears your whole brain. That's so true. Do you, when you kind of, you do a special, you tour, I mean, I don't know how new this is. And then you have it, you're faced with you need a new hour by such and such a date.

Do you panic? Do you go to the clubs? Do you write it at your home? How do you get that hour? I go to clubs and I just do like five shows a weekend. I started this new hour while I was shooting a television series and I would just go around L.A. And like Brea and all over and just start banging it out, y'all. And I put, I think of thoughts and what something I think will be funny.

And I put it in my phone. And then I, you know, try it on stage, get it out of my mouth. And then, but I've been doing a lot of clubs to get ready. And now I'm on tour. But do you pad it with jokes at work or do you feel like you're ripping them off if you're just doing stuff that's like, okay, okay, this one's okay. Because you don't really know what it is yet. They're getting to see it, which is a fun thing if they know it.

This is how I'm finding it because that's a little behind the scenes. Interesting to me, especially. But sometimes I feel like someone will write on Instagram, not your best work. I'm like, well, this was. I have to try to I regret writing that. Just me. I'm just a text from Dana.

I don't know. I was thinking. It is hard to, I mean, at the comedy store, you're about to try some stuff and there's Ali Wong and a bill. No,

no, no. You go to La Brea Improv. I don't want to bomb in front of these guys. Go to the Ice House. Don't go to the comedy store. Are there new material nine? Everyone's got their A stuff

leaning into the wind. Did I do okay? It's almost nowhere to just secretly go on. And they go, oh I saw him in this little tiny club and he fucking sucks. You're like, God, shut up. I tell you what I do, y'all. I go up there on stage at a comic club and I go, I am pulling this out of my butth.

That's it. And I go, I need y'all to help me. Y'all can you kill me if it sucks. I need y'all to help me and they go, but I've got the best fans in the world. And I always think this and I may be out of my head, but I think. I'm in a lane by myself. Yeah. Talking to these women, I get more and more men because I think of my television series,

and I love men, and I'm very flirty. But I get these women who have been, I think, ignored. Nobody was talking to them. I mean, if you think about it. No, no, you were a completely brand new thing when I saw you. Thank you. And so I think they're so tickled that they want to help me, and they feel like they're part of it, that I have people be very kind to me.

Now, somebody might me comment, and you suck, Lan. And I just don't look at it. Are these dates where people pay or are you just, can I go up for 10 minutes? Or is it sort of a low ticket price? Low ticket price and it's just me headlining with an opener. And you advertise it as Leon tries new material or anything like that? Working it out. Working it out.

I got it. Yeah. I'm going to have my charge. It should be called working it out just so they don't expect anything. Yeah. What are your tickets? 500? No.

They're like 30 something. And then these third-party ticket things, I'm constantly having to do, and I know this little Theo Bonn will do it. Like, don't buy off of these third-party ticket things. People do it all the time, and then they buy something for $800, and that's not, it's not the right, you know. Your big Carmen crowd is not going to, they don't like that. I don't like it. I see that. Someone goes, hey, I wanted to see a show.

I can't pay $350. I'm like, what's $350? And they're like, that's how much is to see you in St. Louis, I go, well, this is like a fourth time ticket broker selling it three different times and just patting it like a stomping on Coke or something. Well, maybe it's not the exact same thing. I know, and that makes me film buying it. Because then someone did pay that and like, I don't know if it's worth 300, maybe 280.

I'm like, it's fucking 70. I don't know what it's when your people, the agents and managers want to put you somewhere and they want to get you a huge amount of money. And then you really are going to, okay. And then it's $250 a ticket and the balcony is empty. And you're like, well, this isn't fun. I'd rather lower. They just say a price to the audience.

They just tell you you want to do this for X. And you go, oh, they offered you a really good deal. And you go, oh, sounds good. Now you don't know how they cut up the cow. You just get the stakes. So they go in there and start overcharging everyone. and then you realize, oh, that's how they're getting, like, I mean, it sounds stupid, but you just hear a number and say yes or no and say this will be fun.

And then someone says, you know, how much tickets are. And then, you know, there's also that blue dot fever out there, Leanne. I know. I've been hearing about that blue dot. And I'm okay right now on this new tour, but they're adding shows and I get so scared, I think, oh my gosh, it's going to be blue dots. But, yeah, so far, so good. There's no one doing what you're doing.

It's a nice place to be. No. Well, David, he does some of your bits. I didn't want to bring it up in the podcast. He took them and changed it a little bit. I grow my hair out. I go, that's Leanne's joke. I mean, you're stealing.

I'm throwing a Pajmina. I know. He can't help himself. And you talk about testosterone or low progesterone? Yeah, I say ladies. But, you know, also your ladies crowd. This is a trick in movies at Sandler used to say. When you make these rom-coms, the women bring their husbands and boyfriends.

So sometimes the guys go alone to see someone like maybe Shane or something. But he does obviously fine, more than fine. But sometimes the women, if they're getting someone, they will bring someone. And that's a great thing to have because they go. Because you know, your boyfriend or your wife will be like, hey, we're going to this on this night. And then I'm like, yes, dear. Yeah. I mean, obviously, we've been talking about this, but then you're going to talk about subject matter that's not in a funny way that's not no one else is really doing.

I mean, I find some of the great younger stand-up women comedians are just very adult, put it that way, extremely adult. And so you talk in these subjects, so it's great to have your own lane. What I wanted to ask you, like since, I know it's, you've been famous for a while, but what was there? a moment like after you landed that one special was it sort of like holy shit you know tom cruise wants to talk to me or something i mean did you have a moment of like yeah or i your dream is coming true it's kind of weird i mean when when did it hit you which which which is your dry bar it was no no that did not what about the wet bar special cliff bar the dry bar i i got millions and millions of views, but I don't know who those little people were.

I don't know if they were in a foreign country, because they were not buying tickets. I could not sell tickets. And everybody was like, we love her. She doesn't get drunk and fight in the parking lot, but we're not having her back. And then it was, yeah, the first, the Netflix special was like a stamp of, okay, legitimate, you know, because I always felt legitimate.

But, you know, I was saying Comedy Central never won in me, all these 20 years, you know, Montreal. I went to Montreal, maybe one time. I just was never one of the cool kids like y'all. I want to be one of the cool kids. Yeah, I never felt cool. Dana Carvey. Well, then you need a therapist.

Okay. You're the coolest. But anyway, then Chuck Lori calls. Yes. And so then that's another, is that, was that a dream as well, watching sitcoms as a kid to be in a day? He's about the biggest you could have. Yes, and I had had four deals before that, y'all.

And the first one was with Tom Warner, Carsey Warner, and it didn't make it the writer's strike hit and everything went dead, and I was devastated. Then the second one was with Matt Williams. It created Roseanne and Home Improvement. And that was a big deal. And then it ended up being tossed around and didn't make it. And, you know, I didn't know how Hollywood worked. And then after the fourth one, I thought, this is never going to.

to happen and then yeah chuck lorry saw my somebody sent him my first special and he flew to knoxville and sat on my back porch and held one of my grandbabies and asked me if i would do a television show with him that was a big deal that is that's a big deal yeah that's a big deal i've never heard anyone have a giant producer fly and sit on a porch hold the baby and pitch you so you're like you're not you're not chasing it. Someone's coming to you. Did you come in a helicopter or just a couple of limousines? Was it like an FBI raid or something? Yeah. And he said, and he said, I don't want her to fly to L.A. and they tell her a bunch of stuff and her not believe me. I want her to know I'm serious and I want her to know that how much, that, you know, how much he liked the special. And he knows that I've been doing it a long time and that I was not a flash in the pan. And that meant a lot to me, y'all, you know.

Well, my God. Why wouldn't it? By the way, just a, your people will be happy. It's called Leon and it comes out August 24th, second season. I think it's 27th. Maybe I'm wrong, y'all. Maybe I'm wrong. Okay. It might be, boys.

I don't know. It's a late August. Would you ever be on there with me? Of course. You're crazy. Yeah. Would you really? I'm honest of goodness.

Where do you tape it? Burbank. Okay. That's easy. That's easy. I thought maybe it was in Nashville. No, it's all out there in Hollywood. For you, I would, because that's how fond I am of you. Yeah, he likes you already.

Leanne's pretty nice. And when you see her, she's exactly the same, thank God. Oh, well, thank you, my David. You're not some phony and baloney. Well, and I think that's because, you know, I've raised children and had a full life out in the middle of the United States until this happened to me. and I'm, you know, who I say I am. Good Lord, I'm a mama and a grandmama. And, you know.

I got a full life in the United States. If I'd have been, if this had happened to me at 25 when I was in the middle of sin. What would y'all? What would that have looked like? That's sin. You mean, promiscuous? A lot of making out. I love boys.

I love boys and I made out a lot. And I still love man. And I love Chuck Moore. but I'm very flirty. And so that's why these boys now come to my shows with a half-sip golf pullover because they know I love that. That says health insurance to me. And I also think that I'm getting more male fans because they love Blake Clark that's on

my television series that is, you know, in Adam Sandler movies. And so yummy. Blake, yeah, yeah. Blake, oh, he's magic this season. Magic, y'all. And Celia Weston, who plays my mother, who is at a. award-winning actress. And then little Tim Daly,

Ryan Stiles, you know, plays my ex-husband. So I've got all these great people on there. But I would love to have y'all. You're at Ted Sarandos' house where I saw you last, the head of Netflix, so something's working. Oh, no. Isn't he a doll? Isn't that fun?

I got to meet Adam Sandler for the first time. Oh, really? Was that it? Yeah. He was so precious. I like what you're doing there. You got to Leanne. Or Thobal.

Wait, could you do something in one of his movies, or was it with Reese and Will? I was with Reese Witherspoon and Will Ferrell, and I played Reese Witherspoon's Big Sister. That was another time when I thought, oh, my Lord. Yes. Because they asked me to do a table read, and I was like, what's a table read? And then I just did a movie with Judd Appetal and Glenn Pail, and I play a very small part, but I had a ball, and Judd Apatel was darling to me. Oh, yeah. I love them both.

He's cool. Glenn Powell seems like a real super cool. He was darling. Well, let me ask you a question. Did you flirt actively with Glenn Powell for sure? Yes. For both of those. Did you ask, when he had his shirt off, did you touch his abs?

No. Okay. I didn't do that. I'm just asking. But I told him, I go, you are beautiful in your pants. And then, but then I also, then I'll say. say things like, are you, do you want children? Well, you need to go on and have them, my darling. And so you can coach their baseball teams. And so I'm also like a grandmother.

Yeah. But then I'm also, I told him how beautiful he was and he was eating a bunch of protein balls. And he said, have one of my protein balls, land. And he was like being with your best friend. I'm not kidding. He was down to earth. He had a little dog named Brisket. Brisket needed to shoe shoe, you know, poop. And he said, oh, he pooped three. times in the night. Just like being with somebody you've been to high school. Most people I think that I've met along the travels that were successful seem to be down to earth. Most of the time. I don't know what it is. It's the ones. There's no crowds. They're just. Yeah, they're kind of like, this is like a fever dream. I'm on, I'm in show business. I'm, I'm popular. I'm making money.

This is my job. I'm meeting these other people who do what I do. It's so surreal, right? Because I was just five kids. Dad's a high school teacher. There was just no chance. It was like thinking, like saying I was going to be the president or first man on the moon. It would be in show business. So usually people are kind of humble about it and have gratitude, you know, because it doesn't have to happen. Except maybe people like Eddie Murphy or something where it's just bam, he's 18.

Put him in from the camera. A lot of us have to work for a while to get to that level of confidence. Do you feel you're at your peak confidence right now? or you've always confident. I feel like I go back and forth. I'm self-critical. And I, you know,

I put out a second special. And I, and I just thought, oh my gosh, I needed more time. And it's never, it's never enough for me, which I always thought,

because I was, you know, I thought I'm not a perfectionist. And I'm, you know, I'm married to a perfectionist, a type A person, but I do really care.

And I do get off stage and go, I could have been better. could have done better. Yeah. And then I do a movie or something, and I'm freaked out and think, I don't even need to be here. I'm a fraud. What in the world? And then the television series, I mean, it scared me to death.

And every Friday night when we would do in front of a live audience, which helped me as a stand-up to be in front of a live audience. But it, I would think, I mean, I'd have to, I'd be praying in the back, freaked out. I still think how in the world this happened to me. Do the writers watch your specials? get to know you. Or are you writing with them? Or they, or you're co-signing what they're writing for you because you have a voice and a rhythm? Yes. And so do you have some good writers that can write for you? I have wonderful writers and honey, somehow they, and they're nothing like me. They're not from the South. They're not anything like me, but they get me and they started coming through all of my

material, my book and everything. But what they do is they give me a script on Sunday night. I go through and do some rewrites about, you know, like how we would say that in the South or I wouldn't say that, but I would say this and I have ideas. Jumping off points. Yeah. And they do whatever. Yeah, they're really good to me about all that. No, that's great because they might be from the Big Bang Theory. You don't know because they're just good writers on good shows.

Yeah. And they all have been from the mom and a big Bang Theory and two and a half million and all that. Chuck Laurie shows, which he's a huge. and he knows every good writer and every writer will work for him. So he's got the combo with you, so it's a great job for them. And that's the way those things are supposed to work.

They get you in there, and then you come dunk it and sounds like a great time. We do have a good time, y'all, and nobody's a butthole. And the crew, they're all darling and nobody's fighting or anything like I've heard of horrible things that go on.

And we... And fighting. Yeah. And everybody, Everybody's precious, and we have a ball. We really do. I think y'all would have a good time. Not a lot of production in L.A. right now.

It's just nice to hear that this is in Burbank. And you're the one person doesn't live here that wants to, everyone here wants to work here. You wanted to shoot in Nashville, but they said you got to cover. And we shoot in Knoxville. Well, Reese Witherspoon said to me, Nashville doesn't have enough yet to shoot a sitcom. And she said they, there's just not equipped. And I believe y'all that she's the smartest person in the United States of America.

But Chuck Lurie wants everything out there and he's got so much power or whatever. He knows all the best people. Might as well just do it. It's fun. You can do sets out here and at least you got, you know. Yeah. And I've loved living in L.A. I live out there for like four and a half months.

And I love my neighbors. I've got to know them. Do you live in Burbank or I'm sorry to interrupt you or a holiday? Studio City. Very nice. And your neighbors don't go, Leanne. They're just chill.

No, they're all, they're darling and chill, and it's a bunch of men that have got families, and they watch after me and my daughter, and we cook for them, and then their little kids cry and say, can we move to Tennessee? Because evidently, nobody's ever cooked a chicken for anybody in L.A. But we like to cook and make over people. And so I do. I love my neighborhood. I've rented the same house two years in a row.

I love the people I rent from. Yeah, I live in the studio city is very, or two like the same thing. It's all that whole area is beautiful. Even Burbank is great out where you work. So you're. Yeah. It's been a joy, y'all. It's crazy.

It just sounds great. I mean, you're, I don't know. The specials, the tour, the TV show, I'm like, Cup runneth over. It's awesome. The time of our lives. Ride the wave. And you're so centered that this is happening now in these last five years is just sort of, you really will appreciate it more, you know.

The one thing I learned when I started coming through, I meet a lot of bitter people. Didn't really happen for me. And, you know, this was like, you know, and I thought, okay, this whole business is designed to get you bitter. And don't go down that path. Always go, I make a living doing this. That was the core for me. This is my job. And it's sort of ridiculous, you know.

Yeah, and fun. And you get to be with people, you know, in comics in the back of a green room. Is that the best time you've ever hunted? is when you're with a bunch of comics. It's always fun to back and forth. We do that once a week just like this, just back and forth. Yeah, like with you right now,

this is like agreeing. We're just bullshitting like we're at dinner. And it's funny because we wouldn't have an hour with you just backstage. You say hi and then someone's got to go up. But it is fun just to have a shorthand. Oh, I just work with this guy. Oh, yeah, I know that guy. You know this guy.

He middled and he go, yeah, yeah. And that's kind of fun because at some point you've worked with everybody. Yeah. Well, it is a, it's a tribe. We know, we know the ups and downs and the travails, no new material, and I got to get new material, you know, all the things that go with it, the bad gigs, the good gigs. So it is kind of nice to be around your peeps sometimes. Yes. And let me tell y'all that when I was in Studio City and shooting that series every week, I would get in this, this house had been probably built in 1990. And it kind of looks like somebody's done cocaine there. But there's a big bathtub that, I mean, you can fit. get five people in. And I would get in that big bath tub with some magnesium flags. And I would turn on y'all's podcast. And y'all don't know how y'all got me through. Every week, I would wait and save it for when I was on Thursday nights, because I knew I was going to film on, we film on what we couldn't do in front of a live audience on Thursday. And then I would

be so nervous about Friday. And I would listen to that podcast. And I went, and y'all killed me. when y'all did the Oscars, the talking about the Oscars live while it was going on. And I was dying. And then when, and I think it's so sweet that y'all find people my age attractive and y'all make over like Demi Moore and she looked pretty. And all that, that means a lot because y'all weren't so precious about, you know, girls my age. And I think that's so sweet. I'm married to a girl in your age. She's a cute girl.

She's, I bet she's cute. Oh, yeah. But I just think that's so yummy of y'all. Very yummy. Y'all are very yummy. And I haven't gotten to be with Dana in person, but I've been with David. And I know that you probably are frightened of me because I know I grit my teeth like I'm going to try to kiss you in the mail. But you're so funny and cute.

And I saw David with Theo Vaughn at the improv in L.A. And my girls were with me, my daughters. Oh, y'all were so funny. Oh, that's where I saw you guys. Oh, okay. David's one of the best. One of the best. And Dana, I told my little 86-year-old daddy this morning that I was going to get to be with y'all, and he loves both of y'all.

And he was like, oh, my gosh, Lan. I go, I know Daddy. Isn't that crazy? I'm this close just out of boredom to actually start my set in the church lady. I have a dress that I've made. I come out as a church lady. I mean, why not? And play a song.

Why not? And play a song. Oh, my Lord. People would go crazy. We should do one of our live shows then. Senors and horrors. Coming out to fornicate, bean on it, whatever.

I don't know. I'm just trying to amuse myself at this point. That's great. But I need to do that at some point. I'm thinking about it. And if I had to start a comedy at 20, real quick, can I say, David? If I'd have started comedy at 20,

I would have talking about, I would have talked about fornicating and my thighs and smoking cigarettes. And I would have been nasty. I think I would have been nasty because when you're 20, you've still got your hormones and you think about nasty stuff. But now that I'm my age, you know, I don't think about nasty stuff. You know? Sometimes.

Just a little bit nasty. Sometimes. Everyone, yes, David, you're right. Sometimes. But when you were talking about younger comics, females and, you know, they're pretty nasty. their hormones are raging. It makes sense for those little girls to be talking about nasty. Yeah.

Plus, they're talking to guys that are like staring at them and it's just the best of And they're going to worry about those boys, right? And they wonder if it pays off. You're like, how far do I go with that? Because I don't want to just be that, you know. But clever is always the key. You could be dirty. If there's some clever stuff.

Oh, yeah. I don't have any problem with it. I don't have problems with dirty if it's funny. Yeah. Funny's funny. I don't care what they do. But it's fun to watch the way you do it. Anyway, we're all, we're going to take a break and come back and start the podcast.

Nice to. Thanks, man. Oh, y'all are so yummy and precious. And y'all, I'm giving so much joy to so many people into me. Thank you all so much. Our pleasure. This has been so easy and fun. Well, you, Angel, thank you.

Thank you. I wish I could wash y'all's clothes and put in a casserole. I would. I know you would do that is what's funny. I would. I know. I would love to. No one's giving me a chicken on my street.

I'll roast you a chicken. That's right. My wife's coming home today. She was up with her mom, so I'm going to clean the kitchen extra nice. Yeah. That love is emptying the dishwasher. Oh, yeah, it is. And she'll probably think something nasty because you've done that.

That'll be wonderful, Dana. One leg out of the panty, honey. Here we go. One leg out of the panty house. One leg out of the pant. That's your next special. All right, listen, if you're enjoying the fly on the wall, of course, hopefully you are. Click follow.

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Subscribe, Dana. I'm going to tell you this right now. Him and I'll believe me later. Fly in the Wall, believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey. And executive produced by Hold For It, Dana Carvey and David Spade, or David Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't write this stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman, and Leah Reese Dennis.

The show is edited by Evan Cox, with production support from Phil Sweet Tech, talent production and booking by Sophia Lippor.