RE-RELEASE - Bill Hader
00:00Discover the magic of BetMGM Casino, where the excitement is always on deck.Pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games with live dealer.From roulette to Blackjack, watch as a dealer host your table game and live chat with them throughout your experience to feel like you are actually at the casino.The excitement doesn't stop there with over 3,000 games to choose from, including fan favorites like cash eruption, UFC Gold Blitz, and more.Make deposits instantly to jump in on the fun and make same-day withdrawals if you win.Download the BetMGM Ontario app today.If you don't want to miss out, visit betmgm.com for terms and conditions.19 plus to wager, Ontario only.
00:44Please gamble responsibly.If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you,please contact ConX Ontario at 1-866-531-2-600 to speak to an advisor, free of charge.BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario.Dana, did you know we finally did it?We finally did it.What did we do?We made merch.
01:08We made merch.They said it couldn't be done.It wouldn't be done.And they had a point.But guess rut?Guess what?I'm so excited.I can barely talk.
01:19Scooby-Doo.That's right.Oh, you just stepped on me.I didn't give you something to say.Are you excited? Scooby-Doo?Okay, there you go.He's excited.He's excited at the idea that we made merch.
01:37That's right.Now you, and I'm calling you, dear listener, you can get your very own fly-on-the-wall hoodie, sweat shirts, t-shirts, and speaking of mugs, David.Sweatpants, everything.Of course, fly-on-the-wall trucker hat because it's me, and I wear stupid hats all the time.But these are cool.Very cool. Comfy, right?Comfy, stylish, and guaranteed to make you slightly funnier.I don't know if it's guaranteed, but it's very probable, slightly funnier,
02:12and you can point out and go, ooh, fly on the wall.And it has a little spade carvey on there.That's the coolest part, actually.Orders are open November 6th through the 13th only.Only one week making it kind of elicit.Folks, time limit.Grab it before it's gone.Go to shopfly on the wall.com.
02:32Shopfly on the wall.Hey, David, I just thought of this.I think Fly on the Wall merch would make a great gift for your friends and family.Wait a minute.Hold on thinking for the holidays.Right.Yep.You know what I'm telling you that there's literally no better gift.
02:48Mm-hmm.And no one would be mad.They'd be ecstatic.It looks very cool.This is black with blue stripes the one I have.And, uh, oh, you have the sweats too on your legs.Anyway, get yourself something to for yourself.Don't miss out.
03:03Order your Flying the Wall merch from November 6.Pay attention to the 13th.That's all.That's it.And then lights out.It's closed.Shop flying the wall.com.All right.
03:15So check them out, folks.See if you like it.Dana, we got Bill Hader.One of our all-time favorites, I have to say.And for most of the audience that likes SNL,he hear his name pop up a lot in those you know sort of first ballot he's in theconversation he's in the conversation is a high qual right we love to you know use numbers he'snumber seven he she's number three but let's just say he's in the conversation he's up
03:50there of the of the pant there and very humble uh a niceguy. I see him outside of the podcast sometimes. Yeah. Good, good dude, grounded. We went to the same.Community College. Hilarious. Oh, I know. That is funny. And I didn't know. And it's so funny how manyyears could go by where I went to the most random Scottsdale Community College. And it really, ScottsdaleCommunity College, Scottsdale Community College, Scottsdale Community College, Scottsdale Community College,comes up a lot on this podcast from different sources.Got Stale.It's bumping.
04:30The art of chokes.That's what our mascot is.It's not a joke.And the team always artichoked.Yeah, we did.I don't think they're top that much anything.I hit a chord there.Yeah, it stung a little bit.
04:44But Bill has so many characters in SNL along with everything else he's been doing.But I like the one where he plays the Vietnam Vet that has a puppet.Yeah, he's got so many.He's extremely funny.We do get into it, and it was sort of interesting to hear him go into it more than I've heard about it,that he had big-time panic attacks before he go out on.And we all had a version of panic attacks.At that terrifying cauldron at S&L 8-H.
05:13Yeah, before you go out there, you know, two minutes, you know,cast for Frankenstein's baby, you have three minutes.And we all get like, ah, you know.But he apparently was really, really had to manage that, you know.And they'd go out there and crush.But yeah, it's interesting.Well, let's stop boring everyone and then bore Bill with when we board him.Our goal was to make the intro longer than the actual podcast.
05:42We're doing pretty good.We did pretty good.Yeah.Here's our good friend, Billy Hater.We should let Bill talk at some point in this, but not.like right away. Oh, it's okay. I like watching you guys. You've talked enough, right?Yeah. This is a conversation. Bill Hater. Hang on. We're not narcissists, but you can ask usquestions, too. Yeah. This is a get curious. This is one of a discussion. Oh, I'm moderating. Oh,
06:12that's how your podcast goes. I moderate. Yeah. Discussion between you two.About your relationship and your time. Bill Hader. Look at how much I prepared.I knowI was likeBill HaderI know the nameYeahAnd I know his game
06:31I knowThis fucking dudeHe's got some gameDanaThis motherfucker broke all the rulesYeahAnd I love him for itThe rules are
06:41EveryEvery fucking guyHolding his dickWalking into a bossSaysI'd like to directAnd everyone goesYeah
06:50YeahHere's what you dokid you put on the makeup you dance like a clown they pay you you dance you're a clown youhe goes no what no i'm not i'm fine i'm martin scorzzi no you're a fucking bozo to a fucking clown nowget this fucking movie from paramount we'll give you 20 lodge up front so bill says all right goahead bill oh my god um mr michaels i would oh was that was it Lauren asking you to a uh character movieyeah I think Warren wanted he wanted to do a character movie yeah maybe the summer maybe whenyou're on break maybe well it was just there was a hard it was a hard one to do he wanted to do
07:35a Stefan one and then I think John Mullaney and I were like it didn't work as a sketch that's a goodreason you know what I mean we're like it died it died at twice at the table and then weWe did it, you know, a couple of times a dress and it was terrible, you know, it just, it was low energy weird thing.Yeah.That never worked.And so then it was like, oh, okay.And, you know.Well, let's just shoot it and look at the whole movie and see.
08:07We can burn it.If it doesn't work, we can burn it.And if you get a little burned or singed, it happens.And we'll take it outside and Marcy will set it on fire.We've done this before.We said it on fire.Get the wizard lighter fluid on my desk next to the certs.Lauren. I'm going to fly, Lauren. I fly now. I'm, Marcy, you don't fly.
08:33Look at the book of Lauren, page seven, the stuff on movie.The book of Lauren.The way, did you guys have things? Yeah. Yeah, we had like, yeah, we can do a movie.And then we were like, well, it doesn't work as a sketch. It kind of just works on update, you know.It went from a sketch to update or update to a sketch.it went it did not work as a sketch and then it was Doug ables who was running update goingI need something what about that club kid thing you did give me that thing that bombed do you stillhave it you know what I mean it's on my desk get it in here no that that's very yeah yeah
09:07well updates a little less pressure in a weird way it's just you doing it directly and if theybuy it they buy it you have to rely on it yeah it worked better when it was like becauseyeah I don't know do you guys remember it's just like I remember it weirdshit just didn't but just that feeling of like oh i got a low energy weird thing right this isn'tand how do you do that in a 90-minute corporate funny vehicle yeah yeah you can we couldn't eventake hans and fronds off their set we go we got to get them off their set so we put them on itin a campground scene with al frankin death oh you know sketch what about the movie then we gothim on the set and then we're pointing no we had the movie written hans and fron's
09:50the girly man dilemma but that went that that's that would have been good i think that would havebeen good though wait let's get back to bill you tried it you tried taking them off the set and itdidn't work no i put church lady wrote a sketch you guys do that all that happens all the time where yougo like yeah let's not do the same thing over and over again right and you realize like no that's whatthey like is seen yeah well it's like they go Dana they go hans and franz here you're on the gymfor 19 sketches and they put you in in like a store and they're like who thefuck are these two people like no one even understands the sketch yeah not cool put them in thefucking gym i know the jokes and i will laugh i know how to do this but you're you're at home
10:30base you're screaming at the audience right behind the camera yeah you couldn't mind you lose thisand then we're over in the corner in eight eight in a quiet campground see you like anothervina snitcher nothing you like some smores so i think it was why i think Stefan is brilliant but i thinkit might have been a wise decision that would have been a challenge the sketch did not work i mean it justnever worked you know bill uh you can hear your footfalls on the you know that it was one of thosethings right here if i like place the glass on a table on the sketch you can hear it's loudit was just dying it's like oh that's the tiniest well bill your next question to us is was therea gap girls movie which is a good fair question there was not um but there was some
11:18There was...Did you guys do a gap, bro?You got scared, you go, did you do one?Uh-oh, I didn't see it.Uh, no, we didn't write it, but...He got scared.We're not getting scared.I bet I, I know it didn't happen.
11:32No, it didn't happen, but it was sort of when I thought movies were very easy to come bybecause I was delusional because one summer we did Tommy Boy, Lauren had a deal with Paramount.It was sort of easy, like, and the next summer, why don't you guys do Black Sheep?We're like, great.And then next summer, maybe you guys could do Gap Girls movie.And the things that had against it were me writing it, which is probably the first thing.Hey, come on now.I was running out of sketch ideas that were four minutes long.
12:01So I remember we did one about Jeopardy because Gapertie just sounded like a funny name for a sketch.And then, but there was no sketch.And so I go, me Farley and Adam are the contestants, it'll be funny.And Courtney Cox was a host.And we have to ask her about that because.shit that was the first time i wrote something and i was so joyous that it was on and i was uh just yourname on it that's just so yeah for gaps girls and then um and then i do it and corny goes i don'ti don't really i don't really have a thing to play as the host and i was like oh i didn't think
12:33about any other care you know it's so rude like i'm i'm so worried about our shit and trying toget far lay to make sure everything he says is in all caps what was your catchphrase for gap girlsWhat was your catchphrase?I don't know if there was one.I mean.The thing everybody remember, it was lay off me.I'm starving.Starving.
12:52Starving.That was my proudest writing moment was that one because that one worked.Destroyed.Yeah.And also in that one, Bill, there was a, in rehearsal, it says, you know, like we're at the mall at the food court and then we see the girls from Donut.Everyone knows this guy.I mean, I don't even know why I'm explaining it.And Schneider comes in with Sarah Gilbert as Donut huts sluts.
13:21And we argue with them, obviously.There's a rivalry.And then at the end of the week, and they go, we'll see you guys Friday.And then it goes away to a card.It says three days later of the mall.And then it comes back.And then rehearsal, I go, isn't it weird?We're all wearing the same thing we did three days later.
13:38And we laugh.So I go, hey, Adam, on the live show, I go, when we do that, when we come back,I'm going to say that and you say, I don't.think we are and I go trust me we arebecause it's only fiveseconds of real timeand so we added that which is funand then lay off me I'm starving Farley fucking
13:54Nailed and then I saidwe can't do a movie I'm outthat's it I don't want to worknails no this isthis is going to bring it backI'm going to bring it backHey hold on David what was the one where you saidyou were the contestant on a thing and you said
14:10oh sweetThat was Keith Weber SpazOh my godI get in mySherroccoShurrakoIt's gonna be threeIt's gonna be three
14:22God dangOh what we do for moneyIs that an ArizonaWait real quickIs that an Arizona dudeOr is thatNo that was justYeah I had a guy
14:34That used toI guess in classAnd soWhen you get a signA sketchThey go can you be sort ofA whatever whateverSo that one
14:42It sounded funnyBecause I don't really doBig Characterand that one sounded funny.And my friend had a Chiraco and it was all whited out.And it was very cool.And I white rings everything.Shoraco over at SCC.
14:59Oh, yeah, that's where I just did a, I just got no, I just did it of talk at SCC.Oh, you did?We went to the same community college, Dana.But I got stale.Yeah.I went out of state to go to a community.It's the funniest stories from Oklahoma, right?And then you...
15:16From Oklahoma to Arizona.And I went to Arizona to the Art Institute of Phoenixbecause my grades were so bad and they didn't care.And then when I was there, a guy there was like,you know, at Scottsdale Community College,they're shooting stuff on film.And I went, oh, this is in whatever, 97 or somethingwhen shooting on video was lame.
15:35And so we went there and, yeah,and they were like, you know, David's...Yeah, I went there because they had tennis.It was a little different.but what was the mascot of Scottsdale community the artichokes okay the artichokes okaythe artich that's hysterical and then i worked on mill avenue at a movie theater i worked at centiportoh i love it yeah down in 10thage as an usher or running the film or what were you doing i did the i was an usherand i looked at the time i looked like charles mann and i was like a long beard and long hair with the
16:06cumber bun and comber bun so the idea when you're the type of us who would thenwhen there wasn't many people aroundjust sit in on movieswould be that kind of guy?I was sit and watch movies.The guy thatthis guy I worked withand you had this whole thing
16:25about like you can't bring foodinto the theateroutside food into the theaterand I became likereally obsessed with nailing peoplebecause it was just funand feel like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no.You know, I was just like
16:35and this one dude was, I forget his name,but he was such a like,just kind of a stoner guyand we were outI was by the concession standand this guy came inwith a wedding cakejust a sit
16:52ticket stub in his mouthand he was likehey can I put this in the backI was just going to go see a movieso one I'm like who brings a wedding caketo a movie and two I was likewent to this stoner guy I'm likedid you not see the guy with the fucking wedding
17:06or his tickets and you put thestuff in his mouthhe was like oh yeah man you know i you know the guy seemed uh you know he had a cake yeahi just i just saw spider man and the guy goes the usher goes you know they like overhelp he goesi'll walk you to the theater i go i think i got it and he goes three hours dude and i gooh immediate buzzkill i go oh it is he goes yeah and he goes and at the end all the spider man'sguy go hey don't be like spoiler guy just let me get in there take it down a packYeah, fucking guy.
17:42Hey, go.You know, come on.What are you, the false ending guy?Something?And he's going down the river like Kurtz.Colonel Kurtz is a great, Dennis, one of his go-to.Like, Colonel Kurtz.Up there in the cave.
17:59Going down the river like Kurtz.Getting that sponge on his head in the cave, shooting for the Oscar, right?Like the sheen cat hides in the shallows, okay?I have all these sketches of,bills i want to go over but uh i want well while we're here in his youth uh because we'll kindof maybe we can go hey we're just making this up but i we know you're a filmophile so you go to thetheater you're seeing films that just do you remember the first film because i could say2001 for me in a theater or on television the first film or tv show where when you went holy
18:34shit what the fuck is this um you know it was like always like it was at a sleep ofover at this kid's house and his older brother was like, we were 12 and like, you know,the 15-year-old older brother came in and was like, I'm going to show you this movie taxidrive.Whoa.Wow.And we all were like, what, you know?That's heavy.
18:56Oh, dude, we can't be watching this, you know?And it's like, this is really intense.But there was a scene in that movie where with all the violence and stuff in it, there'sa scene where Robert De Niro takes civil shepherd to a porno movie that's still like,one of the most embarrassing things I've ever seen in a thing ever.It's just impossible to watch and not.It's so bad.It's so sad.
19:19But then afterwards, he calls her and it's him on a pay phone in a hallway,seeing if she got these flowers, he sent her.And he's like, I didn't know you didn't like those kind of movies or whatever.It was so embarrassing to watch.And then as it was happening, the camera just dollied off of him as he's talking.And I thought, oh, wow, the movie doesn't want to watch.watch this. Like, it was like, oh, you're allowed to do that. Like, unlocked this thing in my head where I waslike, so it was weird, this weird night where these dude, this older brother thought he was kind of
19:52like, you know, fucking us up or whatever. And instead I got like really jazzed by that. It was hardafter that to be like, let's watch the natural. Yeah. You know, like whatever movies my friendswanted to watch. It was like, no, I want to. But that's so interesting that you think they just show like,when I see movies they show that guyand then you cut and show that guy talkingand even dolly shots are weirdand then you fade off themand in your head to think
20:18oh it's because he's boringand it's odd and it's getting extraand you go oh yeahare you allowed to do that and thenyeah it's like an emotionalthing it was like it felt intuitiveemotional and it was likeoh I don't want to watch this so let's just
20:35let's give them some spacecould I could IOh, that's so cool.Connect the dots on that, a teeny bit with you, Bill.I was watching the episode where you're going to go kill the guy,ends up being a martial artist, and then you have a fight with the daughter on Barry.Well, when you come in and we know he's the mark, he come in,and you stay on him a long time, and we just hear your voice talking about it's not going to happen,
21:02it's going to be okay, but there's no shot of you at that point.I don't know.It just reminds me, it had some visceral emotional.Yeah, you kind of like, yeah, it was like an instinctive thing of like, oh, you don't know what he's looking at.And then the reveal that I'm in this like weird costume.Spider-Man almost or something.Yeah, that's weird like one of the guys, you know, terrorists at Munich games or something.Like you get this weird look.
21:29And then, but yeah, you know, but yeah, that's what I mean.You kind of go like, well, it takes a while to get that kind of confidence to do that.crew looks at you like you're nuts.You're not doing coverage? What?Yeah.We ended up shooting a two shot of us because the DP and other people were like,I don't get this.And I just went, okay, we'll shoot this.
21:54And then you get in the edit and say, well, I kind of want it this way.Well, I think, yeah, that's Barry, which we'll get to in a little bit.But so as you're going along, just a few more touchstones,what Deer Hunter are you like kind of the darker kind of films yeah those kind of movieswere always there's a movie last detail with jack nicholson that was halashby and and and and umjudd apato talked about that yeah i love that film yeah jud directed that hey uh bill what aboutjack what about jack he goes he goes just like you know i think my balls hurtYou know, last detail, yeah, they had the big God, Mike.
22:42Randy, Randy, before you, no, no, no, no, Randy,look at him and be like, oh, geez, I guess I got my semen all over the place.Think of your gun as a horse's cock.Your gun is like a horse's cock.It does a thing and it doesn't land.There's always a pause.And then he goes, you know.Judd said deer hunter could have been a half.
23:07half hour longer.No, but I...Really?No, I'm kidding.But I saw...I would have...What about in taxi?He makes fun of that.
23:15We make fun of it.Because I showed my HBO special, my new Netflix specials, an hour six.He goes, I think it could be two hours.Let me see it.I go, well, no, there's not even that many, not that much material.I'll find it.But what about a taxi driver that stood out to me?This is the tiniest thing.
23:34But when he's embarrassing going, the thing...the thing that says, I've got to get organized.Organized, yeah, the card.And she's like, what?Oh, yeah, I got to get organized.That's on his wall.No, it's like, yeah, I've got to get organized.That was something from my mom had.
23:51Oh, yeah, yeah.And then he's like, it's like, it's thing that's like, I get organized.And she's like, and then he buys her a record that she says she already has.Like, the whole thing is just so awkward.We were like, dude, just like, stop.Stop.Stop it.this is so sad and you're you're 12 watching that 12 watching this the girls are like a total
24:12mystery to me and I'm like okay don't do any of this right I thought it was like a lesson in howto do it yeah but I told Dana I saw Tommy when I was 12 remember Tommy and it scared me and Ihad a stomach ache yeah I wasn't ready for the beans the the the scene in Tommy with all theI remember the scene of the beanswhere isn't it like Anne Margaret or someoneMakes no sense scared meOh acid queenWhen she threw
24:41The guy got fire and it burned his faceAt the beginningWith Tina TurnerI don't know what the fuckI just saw grease before thatI'm like what's going on hereLet's keep it light guysYeah
24:53Yeah no that one was roughWhat's goingI was like a lot of thoseYeah but I also likeYou know like love jawsOh, yeah.Perfect, perfect movie.The Godfather and, you know.
25:06Never, never, can watch that any day of the week, Godfather.What about Alien?How did you find Alien?Like once upon a time in the West.Oh, yeah, with Henry Fonda.Henry Fonda, where he's a bad guy.I'm gonna shoot you right now by the last thing I ever do.I'm Henry Fulner.
25:22Now that you said my name, he shoots a kid.Oh, you saw a kid?Yeah, he shoots a kid.Yeah, the old gunslinger, one of those,This guy goes, we got them all, right?When he says his name, and he goes, well, now that you've said my name,and he turns around and shoot a kid and you're like, Jesus Christ.I was like, geez, let's relax.
25:48Yeah.Sergio.Yeah, I like all those 70s movies.And then a big one, you know what a big one I saw in the theater was?And it's a weird one was I took a girl to go, like my first like, you're going withsomebody date okay date yeah and she wanted to go see father the bride withstea martin and i took her to go see barton fink oh all right that was she was like okaythanks well uh we we never really need to speak not a panty dropper yeah was i was like damn
26:21that movie was amazing i was like that was like it's still one of my the i love that filmthe cohen brothers that tuturo yeah who did it tuturo was in it yeah john didn'tThe young woman are just,Oh, yeah.Do you ever hit that point where everything just starts to pile up?I've hit that point.Work, stressed, life.Anything endless to-do list?
26:42Oh, yeah.And you realize, I need to talk to someone.Well, I've been there.Every time I try to find a therapist, it's always a hassle.It's amazed.Half of them weren't taking new patients.The other half don't take insurance.That's why Rula stood out to me.
27:00They worked with insurance.Yeah.You just explain that.What do you mean they actually work with insurance?Well, there's over 100 plans, in fact.The average co-pay is just $15.What?What?
27:12It's even free, depending on your coverage.And instead of just matching you with the first available therapist rule,it takes time to find someone who fits you,fits your goals, your preferences, your background.Make such a difference when you actually click with your therapist.The whole process is quick and easy.Tell us about it.Okay.
27:30From what I hear, there's no wait lists, okay, no back and forth emails.You could book an appointment as soon as tomorrow.Nice.And Rula stays with you through it all.Checking in to make sure your care is helping you move forward.Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapythat's actually covered by insurance.Oh, shit.
27:55Go visit rula.com slash fly to get started after you sign up, you'll be asked.how you heard about them, please tell them and support our showand let them know we sent you.That's rulah.com slash fly.You deserve mental health care that works with you,not against your budget.Don't be a foolah.Get with Rula.
28:18What's up?It's Draymond Green.I'm back for my 14th NBA seasonand my podcast to Draymond Green show is back too.This season, I'm breaking down games,reacted to the biggest NBA stories,and sitting down with teammates,rivals and culture shapers.
28:32And trust me, I'm not holding back on the court or on the mic.Two new episodes every week.New segments, big conversations, real basketball talk for the real hoop heads.Listen to and follow the Draymond Green Show wherever you get your podcast.We're back, we're better, let's get it.Dana, every time you go online, you don't know this, but your data is being tracked.What you click, what you search, what you stream, it's a bit scary, right?It's all up for grabs.
28:59but you have to do something about itand now you can enterSurf Shark VPNthat's why there's Surf Shark VPNit encrypts your trafficand hides your IP addressso you can scroll searchstream in peace
29:14even on public Wi-Fialsohello to geo-blockedcontentwant to watch your favorite British murder mysterywhile you're on holiday in Balidoneswitch your location with a click and boom
29:28you're home again.Guess what?One subscription coversunlimited devices.Phone, laptop,your smart fridge,maybe not that.Surfsharks got them all covered.
29:39Even our productcalled Surf Shark Search.You'll never believe this.It lets you browsewithout all the adsand targeted nonsense.A breadth of freshdigital air.
29:50Secure your privacywith Surf Shark.Go to surfshark.comslash flyonor use code flyon.for four extra months of Surf Shark.That's Surfshark.com slash fly-on or code fly-on.The URL is in the show notes.
30:07Risk-free, 30-day money-back guarantee.Try it now before your fridge starts recommending conspiracy documentaries.John Goodman.I don't know.He was great when he hosted this show.John Goodman, speaking of Saturday Night Live,which is sort of the theme of our show, kind of.John Goodman could do anything
30:30And he's one of those guysThat read through with the 55 scriptsHe's one of those incredible cold readersYou knowThat's a thing that's so difficultI don't know how people do thatI remember and did you guys ever have peopleWho were terrible at the table
30:49YesYou were like this is going to be a bloodbathAnd thenWe're just amazingLike they came inand they were like, oh, they're just not good cold readersor they kind of save it.Well, something happens when they're up in front of a live audience
31:04that it suddenly place and you're like, oh, get out of the way.Yeah.I think there's a gradient scale.I mean, you could go to some mild dyslexiaor whatever's going on, but some people can read it.Like Dennis Miller and Phil Hartman could look at a cue cardand just grab it so fast.And they never would stumble a little bit.
31:22But even good readers, it's such a task to not trip up a wordreverse the work i tripped over stuff constantly i i did the my sixth show i played vincent priceyeah and lauren one of my favorites came up to me loren came up to me right before the band'splaying and i'm you know my sixth show and yeah i'm sweating yeah like i'm like oh i'mi'm dana you talked about like i would have a full-blown panic attack before every show i would gowent to that bathroom that was by the big makeup area.There was a boys and girls.There was a bathroom way at the end of the hall.
31:59Yes.Right after the meeting before it was like,and Lauren would be like, you know, this week, you know,we're about to go on break and people are going to say it was a good show or a bad show, you know.So it'd be really, really nice if it was like really good.I love that about it.Yeah, yeah, yeah.So when you panic attack in there,
32:22just for a second.So you go and you sit down, you're by yourself.Are you just hyperventilating?Okay.I go into a stall standing up and I would just hyperventilate.I'll be honest, cry a little bit.Oh, of course.Shaking.
32:38Yeah.Oh, yeah.Just have like a full.And then the thing was that Jenna, who was our stage manager when I was there,who's one of my favorite human beings on the planet, is great.But she had, I think, part of your job when you're,when you knew that, you should be a little calm before air.You'd be like, five minutes to air.
33:00Oh, yeah.Yeah, no, it's two.Five minutes to air!Like her boy shaking and I'm going, I'm going to have a panic attack.Yeah.I was in Vincent Price and it was like the second sketch after monologue and I'm sitting thereand I'm like about to pass out and Lauren goes, I like this, but why now?Very Lauren.
33:24And then we did it.And if you watched the very first one,even Lengoria,I think was the host,I stumble the first minute.I stumble over like every other line.Wow.I'm so like discombobulated and wait,
33:38what did that mean?And what did I just say?Well,also new cast is hard to get the cards down.It's not so simple.You know,it takes a while.How to look at it.
33:48Of course,you were the host on that,but do you think this is kind of like unhealthy?what we did there.But, I mean, I end up having a botch bypass a couple of years after.I mean, when you're, what was our blood pressure in our first few shows?No, I have like a weird autoimmune thing that affects the retina of my left eye.And I've gone to so many people about it.
34:09I've lost a vision in this eye, like all this stuff.And everybody's like, really?I'm like, could stress have caused this?And they're like, well, yeah.You weren't on Saturday Live, were you?You're like, yes.Are you on Saturday Live?How many stents do you have?
34:25David, did you have any sort of post-traumatic health issues or did you have any anything that?It stunted my growth for sure.I'm 5'7.But I will tell you that before, you were just saying, when I was on the 8th floor,I would go by the elevators and take a left and there's a bathroom back there.And I would just stand there and look at my script and that stall and just go,oh my God, and G.would come in and go out and everyone would he come with this full amp and I'm like not here
34:55he was the coolest no one no one knows how loud it is in that room when you're when you're likedoing the actual show and the band kicks in you can't hear anything it's crazy so I would getreally sickened and I think when I moved to New York I was this fun kid from Arizona and I wasof course smashed down because I didn't have any nutrients I didn't know what carbs were backthen so it was pizza it was pasta i didn't have a glass of water for six years i didn't um it was dietcoke and then my hair got brown because i didn't know it could get brown but it was darkno sun yeah there's sun 10 minutes a day when it's like the buildings are straight up and the sun'sdirectly at noon and so i just and i got like sort of gray uh and i felt weak and sickly i was like
35:44powder you know the movie powder so i was i'm sort of that guyAnd then I wasn't really, if I look at it now of how much I pay attention to eating and food and what goes in and I did not at all then.And then add all the stress of like, I don't know if I'm ever going to be in show business.I can't barely make it here.And it's just so much every day.You got to, that's all you think about.It had to affect something.I mean, it's sort of my own doing, but it had to affect something.
36:10The first church chat, I popped a tooth.You know, well, isn't that?Really?No, I made that up.I made that.I would believe.I would believe it too.I know, because I'm just thinking it's like...
36:19Wasn't the first church at your first showand it became the cold open?Yeah, it became the first sketch after update.I was in a cold open with Phil and Janand I didn't even know I was in the cold open in essence,but then the church lady was the first and there's church chat.People care.But her hand came up, his hand, my hand,
36:37that character's hand.Sorry, I have the dress in the closet.And it was drenched in sweat.It was pure...And yet to be that a dreamer...that blood pressure, heart pounding, and then pretend to be relaxed was such a difficultthing. But I want to go over some of your seminal incredible sketches, but just quickly,the acclamation point for me, I believe in a way I was maybe the best I was on the show,
37:06like my last two shows. I mean, I think it took me five years to get, to have fun. Put it thatway because I see the panic attacks but when I saw and I've said this to you and FredArmisen you know Batman and you guys I always connected you too because all the great stuffyou did is that I said how do you guys seem to be having so much fun that last seasonand you said well we knew it was our last season so we kind of in a good way didn't give a fuckand then you have fun and then you're great so that process did happen for you right at somepoint you got calm yeah I mean it was still nervous I was still going to the yeahbathroom's all, but I wouldn't like have, it was more like what David's saying, you would have
37:48your script and you would just kind of read through your stuff and just have a quiet moment byyourself and then be like, all right, let me center myself. But then, yeah, Fred was so looseon the show. I never saw him get nervous. And so he a lot of times, and I'm also a very softtouch. Like I can I, I break constantly. So I think that was what.that he would bring to it.He loved to break you, yeah.Well, just also is a way of like...His commitment.
38:21Yeah.It was just his, so he would...But he would just do little things.It was never big things.Yeah.Like, he did a sketch, he wrote, called them.Short-term memory feeder.Oh, I saw that.
38:32And the whole thing is,I'm the doctor who's worked with all these patientsand we're going to run a play.And you'll see that none of these peopleforget their lines because they had short-term memory loss.But I help them.You keep hammering at home.There's absolutely no way they will.
38:45I hammer it home.They will not, you mark my word, they will not miss a single, single line.And then then 80 Bryant comes out and immediately goes up on her lines and I have to cue her.And that's the bit is that I'm queuing everybody.I just watched that.It's so fucking hilarious.Fred, it's supposed to be in the 40s, like a, you know, like an Arthur Miller play or something.And Fred, to fuck with me, came in in a present-day New York Johnny jacket.
39:12I saw thatAnd he goesAnd then I saidGive me the jacketAnd he saidIs the playoverDude I wrote downSomething from that
39:27Because you goBecause I just watchedAnd I was laughingAnd Vince Vaughn is in it tooRightVince VaughAnd you goYou go
39:36It has my keys in itYou goJana has everyone's keysbecause they're all obviouslythey can't be without their shitI thought it was so funnyand then I watched five years in a rowthat were home runs
39:51and this is a I kept goingyou have to laugh in this onewhen you were doing the onewhere you're fucking screaming as a firemanI was likeI didn't know where it was goingand you start going crazyI go there's no way
40:03you kept sayingwhatand youoh yeah that wasthat was aJohn Solomon and Rob Klein wrote that one.And I don't know where it came from.It was just one of those great things where you come to the table.
40:17It's a fucking home run.And they're like, yeah, we went nuts last night.You're this like very effeminate firefighter that's mad that your girlfriend's there with.Adam Levine.And you know, Jim Downey was there and Jim Downey was laughing really hard.For sure.When he was losing his mind during that sketch.and then we came into a dress rehearsal
40:40and then we came into the meeting before airand they had all the cards upand Downey started crying laughingand I was like, why is Downey laughing?That's interesting.And he goes, the name of that sketchis the firehouse incident.Yeah, that's the funniest part for him.
40:58And he goes, he goes,it's so needlessly mysterious.Yeah, Jim does have that capacityto identify exactly.Why, it's funny.He was like, because it's needlessly mysterious.And we were just, that's my memory of doing that showas being in the meeting, just crying.
41:18Oh, to make Downey laugh is big.Also, I thought it was, when everyone plays it straight,Adam Levine, I'll give it to him to.When everyone plays the straight, it's so hilarious.And it's, it's asking a lot of everyone to, A, not laugh and B just played straight.And then I think, Sissly, if someone comes over and goes out of nowhere,Hey, I guess they just canceled the B in apartment C, and you go, what?The B and C?
41:46Not the B and C.Oh, my God.I think I grab a dog and I want to, you'll open a window and they all say, no.You fit to tax you.And then the dog attacks me.Yeah.Yeah.And we're not.
41:59That was one of those ones where it's just like a gift that the writers were like, I don't know what happened.but we've they wrote another one with me where I was like this guy in thethe guy in a puppet class yeah I was like oh shit Anthony Coleman yeah and that was anotherone where you go to the table and there's like a sock puppet on your pile of scriptsuh-huh with a little note on it like nice you know puppet class could you use this pleaseJohn and Ron hysterical and you're like figuring it out as you go along those guys my lastseason because Malaney had left and John Solomon and Rob Klein wrote they really wrote some greatstuff for me that I mean those two right there are like by the way I was I was wondering during
42:44puppet class how it must be a little hard to get your lines get the puppet get them to kissget around and try to kiss you know and everything you had to do was like two things going ononce and make sure the cameras on your face and then the puppets say they had to do that sothose can be complicated and then it comes off without a hitYeah, that one, the most difficult thing, everybody was like, oh, was it making the puppet smoke?And that was, you know, those things were like, they cut to someone else.And then you have, was Flanagan there with you guys?The guy who made shit, I got Flanagan.
43:18No.Anyway, Flanagan was the guy who made the puppet.He would be there.And then all the, they're hooking shit up to you real fast.Yeah, yeah.You know, and you're like, oh, Jesus, this is a, you know.And then, yeah, they, what they don't.don't see is the guys are all like on the floor right at you know your feet right yeah it's
43:37complicated it was one of the things where the smoke came out you're like oh thank god thatfucking works yeah yeah doesn't work all during the week yeah they're doing like thatsh sh shhs you're like oh Jesus Christ please yeah we we had barf ones where they put thebarf in a tube up your arm and then i think it was fred wolf wrote one where maybe it wasGallic Baldwin and every cop that walksup to the scene and goes, God damn.And then they go, whee, and then they startbarping. They would come out before
44:10you can get it. Yeah, and it's evenfunnier, but if it doesn't come out, it sucks.Yeah, and there's a guypumping next to him going, give a more gasJoe, and you're like, and we're live.We can't. Give more gas.Yeah. I had a host once, right? I had a puppet.It was a different sketch, but I had a puppet that was
44:28supposed to throw up on a host.And the hostwas angry about it.The host didn't like that the between dress and air and the meeting,they were like, oh, and hey, can we do something about that puppet?You know, and the host sounds off and everybody's like, excuse me?Oh, no.Well, the writer who wrote that, I was like, you know, second year cast member.
44:54So I was like, oh, geez, yeah, sure, sorry, you know.But the guy I wrote it with, it was his last show.So he was just quiet.Did he go, hey, fuck you.We're doing it.We go over and we're doing the sketch.And I see him talking to the special effects guys.And the guys are pumping the water thing.
45:13And it was like, you know, when you have like a pellet gun.The last couple.Just getting hard.So we're doing the sketch and I go to pick this thing up.And I pick up the puppet and it's vibrating.It's so full, ready to go.It's explode.And I was like, oh, Jesus.
45:30and on air this stuff it was like a fire hose just like this guy right in the face i was likeand he's expecting nothing now instead of a little bit he's expecting like a water fountain yeahhe actually said oh i want like a drinking fountain like a little right and it's like it hits so hardthat the puppet flew off the and so it's just the nozzle of the on the air showyeah yeah oh i have to give you like speaking of all that kind of stuff because it's hard sometimesto get all this shit on youwhen you're during a showso you got a wig
46:04but you did one withlike a Hollywood type of showwith Scarlett Johanssonand Kristen Whigand Scarlett Johanssonfirst of all is an unsung heroshe's kind of a sleeperbecause every sketch I see her in
46:16she's great inyeah she's awesomeyeah she's really committedand she kills itand then that one was just a funny onewhere you two were acting like idiotsand it was just anothersurprising sketchbook
46:27yeah it was the thing ofyou guys have done it where people interview you,and then while you're talking,they can't talk.Yeah.Right.And you explain that you can't overlap.Yeah,
46:42so I was,and it's like,making faces.You know,and they're mouthing words and stuff.And so Kristen and I,I think,had done press for something
46:52and we were doing that the whole time.And then it was like,oh,we should probably write that,you know.Right.And you also had some different moves in it,though.
46:59So it wasn't like,just that it started to change up you know what the one you saw probably i don't know if it was thatone because we did that one a couple times i don't know if you guys have ever had this happen whereat dress there was a thing where i'm drinking a slurpy and someone says something shocking and i goand i like throw the slurpy full giant big gulp right into wig's face yeah and she just has tonsof slurpy over and then i throw a thing on her head so we did it at dress perfect ofcourse on air fully miss her it goes in front of her doesn't hit her at all oh my god and i canthe only sound and doesn't get a laugh because everybody was like oh something went wrong
47:43and i can hear Lauren it's so bad when you're at home base and i can hear Lauren under the bleachersgoing oh shit and didn't Kristen break did she did she break on that sketch no no I don'tOh, no, there's another one maybe.What you see now is dress.Like, so he was like, and I got done, he was like,West Coast will see dress.Oh, good.Okay.
48:11Well, you did a spit take in her fucking grill, too, which was high hysterical.Yeah, yeah, yeah.Yeah.You realize those are all the things that work, you know?I get to Estenol, and I'm like, oh, I'm going to have these really cerebral,weird faith.And it's like, now what works is spitting in someone's face.funny funny with the sound off never
48:32never failswith the sound off is perfect exactlywhat about her Welchoh that was based on athat was John Mullaney never wrote that that wasgreat aa guy we all kind of know in a waythe guy should have retired a long time ago
48:47the videoyeah out of the field it was like a YouTube videowhere the guysthey got an argument onon air and the guywhat did you sayYeah, that one was also from the combination of thatAnd then I was having to play
49:05I always got cast as like reporters or gamesWhy is it?Like Phil Hartman was our guy doing that, you know?I was always the guy that was like,we need a set up so they'll put me in going like,I'm here now at this school, you know, whatever.Yeah.So we were rehearsing with Emma Stone
49:26and for that sketch and I had a microphoneand I was just like hitting people with it.Hitting her in her and I was hitting a wigand just fucking around with it.And then again, I'm not, I go,oh, that's fun.And Malini was like, we should maybe write that up.Oh, yeah.
49:44Like he was the guy that would go,what if we did that as a sketch?And I was like, oh, oh, is that what we do here?Oh, okay.Yeah, Emma, again, good in that.And everyone was good.you go over,but did you only do that once
49:59or did you do that a bunch of times?So funny.We did it withI saw Emma.And then when I hosted the first time,I did it.Oh,so you've done it too much, actually.
50:12It has an improvisational vibe to it.You know what's the funny thing about Herb Welch was,this gave me a really interesting insight into TV critics wasthere was someone who would writebecause when I was there at the after party,everybody's on their phone.Oh.People are writing about the show.
50:31Wow, we did not have that.Yeah.So we would all,everybody is at their table going,so and so at this site hates it.So and so.Oh, that fast.Wow.
50:42We got a seven out of ten on the AV club.Couchpotato.com.And you're just like, oh my God.And there was one guy who would do a scorecard every show.Oh.And everybody would read of the scorecard.of and he at the end of the season did his year roundup and he was like favorite sketch leastfavorite sketch and his least favorite character was her no he doesn't know what this is terrible
51:10it's racist and it's racist and misogynistic and terrible and i'm like well he's like an ancientasshole i don't think it's pro that yeah the sketch isn't pro him um but it's a grumpy old manI don't feel men, but then a year later, I was doing press for something, and they broughta guy in, and it was the guy that he wrote this.So I'm talking about another thing with him.And then as he leaves, he goes, hey, can I tell you what character of yours I really love?I love her well.What?
51:44What?And I go, all right.Wait a minute.On the table, man.I got to be honest.You said he was the worst character in the, you know, that year.or whatever. And he goes, yeah, yeah, a guy I work with read that and was like kind of bummed out.And he goes, no, you should check it out. You know, really watch it. And I watched it again.
52:03I was like, oh, yeah, this is good. So we're suffering. That kind of gave me a whole. I was like,oh, this is how it is with this show. You know what I mean? Like it's like, it's, it was likethat day that at that moment, the guy hated it. And now a year later, he's like, oh, it wasreally nice and then the opposite will happen or someone the thing they love and you run into themthey're like actually I watch that again it doesn't age well you know or whatever yeah wellisn't it fun I just about because I saw it this morning too just seeing it again which I lovewhen I saw it first of all it's it's low energy in a way like it's it's the opposite of thefirehouse incident yeah it's getting huge laughs so then you have the task of uh I don't
52:47if you could do it now but Kristen Whig is trans or something and then you go herb goes with themic over her body.Oh, over and over.And so that, like, did you, was that choreograph?Like I'll do bum, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, because the crowd's going crazy.Are you going a little bit more on the air show because?I think probably a little bit more.I started laughing because when I hit her in the crotch, wig made a sound.
53:14Right.So that she did a little sound and I started laughing.So you looked away a couple times.I looked away because she went,mm-hmm, like that.And so instead of breaking in front of the crowd,you just looked away and came back and for a secondbecause she was.
53:29But yeah, you're right.We probably, yeah, you couldn't do that now.Well, a lot of those.Yeah, a lot of those.Yeah, a lot of those stuff.I had Ching Change, you know, in 1988.I mean, there's stuff down he wrote for us that.No.
53:43No.Even at the time, I was like,Jesus Christ, I don't know about this.All right.went downy goes there's just something in the like he's something about there's something verysomething about it's very precious it's a little too precious this is something very funny aboutwhen you when you say this line you want to go up and then when you go this one now he's kind ofhe's kind of this thing you know it's like it's it out with you and get it's that whole thing
54:09it's just more the idea yeah I know he was good with rhythms yeah I mean I you know I really likedowny but yeah he yeah he would really go it was you knowHe goes some places.He was always goading me on Hollywood Minute to go harder.He goes, you're a pussy.You're not doing this.Don't act like you're doing it.And I go, I'll do it.
54:30And he goes, no, you won't.Don't even talk about it.And I sit there and go, I go, first of all, you're the guy that's going to fire me.Yeah, exactly.And it's like, you don't have to go out there and do it.He's my boss.And then he wants me to do it.But he'd be like, hey, bad news, I have to fire you over that joke.
54:46But I would say, Dana, I'm just jumping around.but when you said Billthat you were good the last yearwhen you were telling everyoneyou were really good on the show the last yearearlierlast two, three, whateverwhatever is...
55:02I'm joking, but you got more relaxedand I think the idea of thatI wanted to jump in from 10 minutes agois thatI think you guys are in the same spotmaybe not as much Dana or Billbut I never knew if I was coming backand every summer he'd say
55:18I don't know if he's right for the show,but we don't know if we're going to bring him back to me about me.And then they would at the last minute.And so you can't relax in that situation.And that's fair.It's a business.He doesn't know.And if he wants to cut me like a baseball team,
55:35he doesn't want to have a long-term deal.So I'm, you know, going check-to-check going if I don't get on for three showsor don't score, this is it.It's curtains.and so maybe youor possibly in that same positionwhere it's your last year,you don't really care
55:51because there's no high stakes anymore.You're going anyway.Yeah, I mean,I will also say,and you guys had this.I mean, you did Tommy Boyand Dana, what you were doingWayne's World.
56:03Were you still on Wayne's World?Yeah, I was on the show, Wayne's World.Yeah.Those were huge.I mean, did that give you guysa bit of confidence?Oh, yeah.When Tommy Boy came out
56:14where you were like,Because I got hot rod after my first in, I was like, well, I was in a movie.Yeah.They won't cut me.Andy Samborg.I feel like there's some stock in me.Even if the movie didn't do well, they put me in a movie, I guess.Yeah.
56:32I was really naive, too, you know.Yeah.I know what you're saying, and I sort of did.I think it was right in the Hollywood minute.It was probably three years.I was on six.After three, when I got to four, I go, I think I'm going to push this through.I was held as a feature player longer than Schneider,
56:50Rock, and Farley, and Sandler.So I had an extra year.So I'm like, maybe it's just not for me.I mean, I'm not a big character guy.So I sort of saw what they saw.And I go, I can score maybe here and there,but I'm not, I'm not a full utility player like they need here.That's so funny you say that because I was watching, you know,
57:10a massive fan during those years.And it seemed like you were very much.I haveMichael J. Fox.Michael J. Fox.Oh, yeah.Hey, Sart.What are you doing here?
57:21What are you doing?You know, here's my new one, Daniel Day Lewis.I love that so much.From their will be blood.This is my shot in partner, H.W.That's pretty good, Dana.I have a competition problem.I have a competition.
57:35It's not as another failures I should win.You did that.Speaking of that, drink your milkshake.I love that, Daniel Playview.As a sketch, can you give us, you want to go into it for a second?I'm an oil bad.I'm an ordinary man.I'm a man.
57:49I was like, you know, the thing that you just repeat to get into it.Yeah.Yeah.Like all day, I was going, I'm an oil bad.Yeah.I'm an oil man.That's perfect.That was the other thing that drove me nuts to the writers.
58:02It was like, it was like, it was like, this is about in, you know, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.And it's like, I'm doing a voice.So I'm working on saying Milwaukee, Wisconsin.And then for some reason, they changed it to Kenosha.Oh, right before air or something.And I go,Kenosha.I change it to Kenosha.
58:24And it was like, oh, we just liked Kenosha.And I was like, I'm doing a voice.I'm locked in.I'm locked in.It's not a thing.It's not malleable in a way where I can just start riffing in it.You know, I don't know if you ever had shit like that.We were like, why do it was like all these weird lateral moves at the last minute.
58:44that would throw youand then they're like,you blew it.Just do one phrase and repeat it.That's the key.I never.That's me in the bathroombefore the sketch.
58:54You just go in there and you go,have I prepped enough?You're like, it's coming up.Have I been fucking around?Are we at Wally and Josephs?Are we bullshitting in the writers room?Like, I got to go lock in and go,okay, I'm going out there.
59:05I don't want to go.Sometimes I'm out there.Even in stand-up,sometimes you're in the middle of show.You go, fuck, I just,I was in a groovebecause I've done so many shows this week,but I didn't go over it right before I went on
59:16and just think, like, okay, what am I going to walk out?You just got to, yeah.It's fear of, like, being on national television going,wait, what?Yeah, really? Seriously, I don't even know what I'm reading.Did you do cold openings?I mean, because I had a lot of those right to the camera.I did one cold open.
59:36Those were the worst.Pressure-wise.I hated the cold open.I did one that Downey wrote where I was,a spitzeroh really it's spitzergovernor spitzer and it was me talking foryou know seven minutes
59:51yeah and I justafter that was done I went and justwas like I don't think I can do that againthat was like I reallywas terrified is it there notthat many laugh lines in it or we're justit was just too much too much dialogueit's just yeah
01:00:08it's just likeit's and it's I loveJim, I love Jim so much, but it's dry, you know, it's a, you're starting off the show doing likethis dry thing. Yeah. It gets laugh. They're ready to laugh. They, it is, they are pumped and excitedand the band's playing and it's like 10 seconds, five seconds. And then you come out with this thing thatyou know the first four minutes of it is kind of like set up. And here's a dry bit. Go. Yes,it dry, you know, and I love, but it works. It got it.it's by the way really funny but for my anxiety it was like the first four minutes of this
01:00:47is like actually not has no jokes there yeah no no that's tough you know yeah you had to dothat shit all the time dana i feel like i well first of all i just want it for uh s and l listenersthe cold open is when the studio is just getting ready to do the show someone screams out10 seconds five seconds and then and then the studiothe rest of the show there's ambient noiseof them moving stuff around while the sketches.It's the only one where the whole studiogoes dead quiet.
01:01:19True.If this doesn't go well,the show has to dig out from under it.Yes.So it's the pressure spot.I had a lot of propsand I just started waving my arms a lot.Gotta digging, got to be bad.
01:01:32You know, it's just to survive.Well, you had to.You got to get it going.That has like an energy to it.Yeah, it had high energy.Makes everyone have fun.Eventually.Yeah.
01:01:42And then by the time you were doing Bush and stuff, the minute it would come on, we were always like, yeah, but it was like a big character, but it was when it was a thing, like a topical thing.Yeah, and Elliot Spitzer was not as, you know, it was only a, it was a big story for a week and no one knew what he talked like.It was, you know, I think after that I was in cold opens, but it was like, you know, bring you to Congress hearing.Yeah, yeah.There was one time I had to go into the booth.because I recorded a thing for the pre-tape, you know, the scroll, like, you know,this week in Alabama, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know.Yeah, yeah.
01:02:22Whatever current thing happened.And they ran to me and they go, the tape's not working.You got to go do it live.I ran into the booth with my headphones on and it's just everyone yelling and screaming.Is he in the booth?Is he in the booth?And I'm like, I'm here right now.It's like, all right, aunt go.
01:02:40And now we're lying.Oh, that Don Pardo booth.over there?Yeah.Yeah.And there's no scroll.Oh.I have the script and I'm reading over black because something went wrong.
01:02:53So I'm reading over black.I'm trying to remember what I did.I did it Thursday.Wow.And I'm going, okay, I do the whole thing.I'm like, Jesus Christ.Yeah.And I, the sketch starts and I go to sit down, Pardo's in there.
01:03:09Oh.I sat on Carto.Don Pardo?And Pardo?And Pardt goes, get off of me.Get off of me, Bill Hader.The great Don Pato.Get off my foot.
01:03:23The whole time I was doing that, he was just sitting on the thing in that small booth.And I didn't see him because I was so freaked out.And then I was, oh, Jesus, Christ.Oh, God, I'm sorry.It's like he's on the toilet and you sit on him.That's hysterical.Rob Schneider.Jim Belushi
01:03:41He goesJim BelushiYou've heard that rightNoOh yeahSomeone underlined JimOh noJim
01:03:52As a dick move to Jim BalushiYou know the holidays are hereAnd that means it's the most wonderful time of yearTo save with RacketonUse RacketonThe Stack cashback at your favorite storesOn Top of Holiday SalesThat's savings
01:04:08on savings. With Racketon, you can get cash back on gifts for everyone on your list,from toys for the kids to kitchen gear for the person who loves it to cook, to electronicsfor everyone. You can even save on something for yourself. Just shop to stores you love,and cashback is automatically added to your account. And you could choose to get paid viainteract e-transfer, PayPal, or check. Join for free today and get a new member bonus.After minimum qualifying purchases, just go to Rackett.dot CA. Download the app or install the browser extension. That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N. Termsand conditions apply. Boarding for Flight 246 to Toronto is delayed 50 minutes.
01:04:51Ugh, what? Sounds like Ojo time. Play Ojo? Great idea.Feel the fun with all the latest slots in live casino games and with no wagering requirements. What you win is yours to keep groovy.Hey, I won!Boarding will begin when passenger fisher is done celebrating.19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly.Concerned by your gambling or that if someone close you, call 1-8665331-2-6000 or visit comixonterio.ca.We can't do everything about you, but we should say, should we talk about Barry or your, I think my wife did not realize that you went into Second City and was discovered in a backyard doing.improv so that might be interesting for a second but your trajectory to SNL was sort of interesting
01:05:41in that way and then your story on SNL became fascinating because you are a Hall of Fameryeah you're a first ballot Hall of Famer put it this way Bill this is what I say to peopleif someone said to me Bill Hader was the greatest of all time sketch player in SNL I wouldn'tslug them in the face that's really sweet you would have to think you like coming from you guys yeahYou had a great cast, though, too.You were surrounded by solid shit.Kristen Wig, Andy Sandberg, Jace, Will Forte, Fred Armerson, Amy Poehler,I mean, Seth Myers, Daryl Hammond, Jason Sadekis, are your bandmates?
01:06:15Yeah, Maya Rudolph was there.Maya Rudolph overlapped, yeah.It was crazy.Yeah, I was, Keenan Thompson, Kenan Thompson is actually the guy that I would sit,he would do these, those what-up with that sketches, and I was so anxious on air.and I would sit and watch him do thosebecause I had no lines in those sketchesand I would just sit there and think like
01:06:37I just need to get to be like thathow to look at that looseand have that much fun on airlook how much fun he is havingI agree I agreeI don't think I ever got therehe has he's like behindhis joy is just right behind his eyes
01:06:53and sort of in his mouthyou just feel ithe was the guy that when people talk aboutI was like Kenan Thompsonwas the guy I was alwayshe would do update i would go out on the floor to watch him do update because i was just like he's justsuch a bill he's such a uh it's keenan do you have to take that i don't know keenan going like whatwhat are you saying about me uh no but it was just he was just one of those guys that when i would
01:07:17uh i would just i was always kind of knocked out by how loose he was and how much funny he hadand we would be in sketches together yeah i was like god he can just knock this outit was kind of like what you were saying earlier like you throw anything at him he never seemedthrown he was just a pro and lovely all the time he's one of those guys he could be bullshittingwith you about something totally innocuous and then you go on live television and hedestroys it right and then comes back and he picks the conversation back up i love to like i'm likeyou know yeah you got to get ready did you did you guys ever hear that you guys weren't that goodbecause obviously now you look back
01:08:01and it's always different eyes.Pretty all-star.I want to say the Washington Post or somethingwrote a review in my first seasonthat was like, who the fuck?Like me and Siddakis and Forte were interchangeable.Who do you think you are?Yeah, this is terrible.
01:08:19And living in New York, too, you didn't, you know,people would just, I remember a guy on a cab driverwhen, hey, S&L, you fucking suck.everybody has the cab driversor like you knowyou go into a deli and the guys are likethey don't use you why don't they use youthey don't use you anymore
01:08:40they haven't even watched for two yearsyeah everyone wants to get you bitterrelatives everybodythey don't use youI go I get a guys gohey got any movies coming outit's like the dumbest easiest question I gonow I got they did that wrong missy
01:08:56I didn't see that when anything else I gowell it takes a year to shoot it it takes a year to come out yeah it takes a year to get another one and i'm likeso you miss this year five years behind he's like yeah what else he actually said yeah the guy worksat a deli what else you got where's chris pratt been you never see him anymore i go he was in jurasic worldand the raccoon one and he goes oh yeah i didn't see those i go well what am i going by you thefuck what you're giving christ if he's not doing well no one is my god yeah like oh sweetLike, I didn't see Coda.Tell me about Coda, David.
01:09:31Is that the deaf one?Is this Chris Pratt in that?See, he's not in shit.Is he played Coda?You know, I saw you on Saturday Night Live.I thought you were a woman.I saw that woman character guy, I think you did.I got you a woman.
01:09:47Hey, but the one I always got was, why don't they use you?I know why don't they use you?Because when I'm in a wig, you don't know it's me.Oh, yeah.Yeah.Hey, is that show live?Do you really tape that live?And then for a while, it was like, what's Kristen Wigg situation?
01:10:07What's her situation?She's a nice person.What's his situation?She's stuck up.Hey, what's up with Dale Hammond?Is he stuck up?You think he'd be my friend?He looks like a friendly guy.
01:10:27I fancy myself on that show once in a while.You know, I do look at this with my friends.Anyway, what do you want from the deli?Good luck with that.All right.All right.Let's wrap it up with Bill.All right.
01:10:42Let's talk about Barry.Oh, Barry, real quick.Really quick.I'm kidding.Barry, everyone loves it.It's an unbelievable show.It really is.It's shocking.
01:10:58I mean, you're this sketch player.You're so brilliant at it.You do the voice.You do Clouty with Meatballs, this and that.And then I hear you're going to do this.I'm like, huh, what'll that be like?I was like one of those guys.What are you going on all drama for?
01:11:09You're fucking funny.But then the show is brilliant, and you're brilliant in it.And the first show, the first season where your character comes in and watches the acting classand you're not saying anything, just in that moment.It was like the show just completely hooked.me right there you know and of course because I like people like your cast you knowStefan Root I mean yeah so fucking great Sarah Goldberg Anthony Kerrigan is amazingAnthony Kerrigan is no ho Hank that's what yeah no ho Hank really love yeah uh and of course
01:11:45Henry Winkler is so brilliant congratulations Hank Winker you just add it's third Hank WinklerI'll say I have you knowThe nicest guy in the world.I'm at the improv in 1981.I do.I think a mediocre set.I go outside in the bar.I've not been on TV or anything.
01:12:04I just hear a voice behind me going, Stella.Stella.It was a stellar performance.And it's Henry Winkler.Smooth as silk.You landed all your jokes.Oh, he's so fucking nice.And that was Fonzie talking to you?
01:12:20You must have shit your pants, Dana.Yeah, it was Henry Winkler.It was a big, big deal for him to give me that.At that moment in my life.Was Pinky Tuscadero there?Be honest.Sorry, that's from happy days.Friedman was.
01:12:33Take it outside.Oh, David.Not in the halls.Not in the hall.Take it outside.So what do you?So this Barry thing, what do you want to say about Barry?I think today the trailer, the official trailer came out.
01:12:52Today, this comes out in two years.Okay.Bill, is this one where you direct all of them?No, I directed five of them.And, yeah, so I really love directing.That's like, I love doing that.It's so much fun.But it does, it's this weird thing where people are like,
01:13:11oh, how do you act and direct,but you kind of write a character that doesn't talk a lot.So I have to worry about that?And then when I get the lines, I forget them.it's hard to do it allI can't even fucking actI can't do itactually be on SNL
01:13:27was you know who waswas actually ChrisBrock was the guyI was talkingI was like yeah I mightI want to directat some pointand I asked him
01:13:35because he directedand he goesif you could doSNL you can directbecauseyou have toyou sort of directyour sketches right
01:13:42you saw your sketchesyeahso when we did the pilotfor Barryme talking toyou knowyou know heads of departmentsprops
01:13:51propsand like that kind of newI had confidenceon what I wanted in stuffbut that was totallyfrom S&Lfrom doing thatit's hard when they go
01:14:00what kind of drapes do you wantlike these are theseand you goI'm just worried aboutthe jokesyeah you're good at goingthat onethis one
01:14:06you got to makea hundred of those a dayyeah all dayand thenand then they gowell the ones you picknow don't workand it's like okay
01:14:14well which ones do workoh that's greatlove ityou know whateverbut I think havingbeinghaving that confidenceand I think
01:14:22the thingto SNL did I don't know what you guys feel that but took that like romanticism out of like creatingyou know and it was just like we had to do a show on Saturday. So it was kind of like there was noI have to go look out a window and write in my notebook. Character. Yeah. It's like no we got to we're likeunder a table up on the 17th floor eating pizza and scribbling yeah real quick you know or you knowReading shit in the bathroom going,fuck, okay, I got to go do this on national televisionfive minutes, you know.
01:14:56So everything seems downhill after that.Yeah, exactly.It's easy after that, yeah.Bill, I have a director question.Sometimes, because I don't,I've never directed anything,and I wonder when the director yells action,there's a time,
01:15:11there's some sets I've been on where the first AD yells action,and I don't like it.Yeah.I think to be a director,the only thing you want to do is yell action.That's the whole fun.I actually, I totally get that and I've been on those sets too.I actually have like my first AD.
01:15:28Sometimes you have first ADs and they're kind of like, you know, you work well togetherbut you're not partners.I have this guy Gavin Kleintop who I is like my partner in the thing.He's like a he's amazing.He's also a big film geek.So like that episode you were talking about Dana where you don't see the guy, I can explainto him.the karate girl episode and go, this is a coverage.
01:15:53I'm thinking he goes, I totally get it, you know.And I'll figure out how to make that work.So he says it, he does say it, but also I'm in scenes.And there is a thing that you're working with people and you're in the scene together.I think that I've been doing that all the actors are like, can you please stop doing it?It's because I'm writing this stuff too, is I'm mowing the word.Yeah.Can I tell you how else did that?
01:16:18Johnny Carson.Really?When I was first out in this thingbecause you'd do the prep interviewand so I would see his mouth moving along.You know, I'm going, isn't that special?And Johnny's going, yeah, same thing.So how did you, do you get rid of that?
01:16:34Or that way it makes itself caught.Henry was very sweet like, Bill, you're doing a great job.But it throws me a little bitwhen you're mouthing along with me,especially in some of these more intense scenes.Oh, wow.I'm like, oh, I'm so sorry.Yeah, I'm sorry.
01:16:51So, yeah, it is like, you know, Conan does that a little bit.When I remember being on Conant, I remember being on Conant all the times.Conan, Conan will do it again.I didn't want to say Conan because he's a good friend.No, no, but I'm saying it as someone who does it, you know.But listen, when you look at that old, not to bring it back, that one gap girl's layoff me, I'm starving.I'm so scared it won't do well and it won't do as good as dress.I am mouthing along.
01:17:19Really?And I haven't even really heard someone say that before,but now that you're saying it, I go,you can see it in the sketch.Oh, yeah, because you're so in.I want him to nail it so perfectly.And I'm like,please nail this and please make sure this works.
01:17:32You know, and I think everybody kind of thinkslike we're just having fun up there.But it's like, there's so much pressure.But I didn't know I was doing itand probably you didn't know.I had no idea was doing it.And I've had Stephen Root and Henry Winkler boththat you would know on
01:17:47with a call sheet.Please, please stop mounting along with us.And I'm like, I am so sorry, but it is, you're just so locked in to, you know, what'shappened.Do you like, one hallmark of a show that's really working is that every, there's noweakness.Like every actor on Barry seems like that's the person that had to play that part andthey're so good.
01:18:11So you psychologically, with all your experience, do you change your directing style dependingon who you're talking to in terms of like that little note right before you go trying to givethem confidence oh yeah i mean like stephen root and sarah gulberg are feeder people you knowlike very feeder trained and so okay um they they come in pretty prepared sarah especiallylike she is super prepared so it's like gentle like maybe i have like a little private moment in theof this or maybe try this but yeah and then you know Henry is is kind of free flowingkind of you know yeah yeah so you emotional and so he's kind of oh he needs more you know like we dida scene this season where he he has to enter it really angry and so he was like i could see him
01:19:07being angry and stuff and so he was taking a broom and throwing it on the ground and i was like oh goodmake sure props has a broom there for him.We'll never see it, but he needs something to just kind of go smash somethingand then enter the scene, you know?Oh, okay.And, you know, stuff like that, you know.Yeah.And then a lot of those you try to stay out of their way, but then I do in that way of,
01:19:30like, because I'm also acting in it, it's a thing I've had to try to rein in is Ican't help but be like, you know, and this is also at S&L, I had noproblem if it was a sketch i am was like you know it's more like we were saying about downingyou know it's right yeah that rhythm is this that's that yeah actors don't like thatno no that's a fine line do you know what i'm saying we're at s and l i didn't have i don't know aboutyou guys i had no problem going to andy or somebody and going like you know it's yeahyou know oh yeah and people what people would ask for it if you were the writer of thesketch i would ask like well what do you think in here you know what do you yeah we did the
01:20:12which is one of the hardest the that's John Malay and his favorite sketch we ever wrote it died at dressbut the whole thing is rhythm the whole thing is rhythm yeah there's nothing elsethere's nothing else to it but rhythm Casey Kaysam father son yeah you did it at Largoson yeah we did it at Largo with you yeah you were there yeah yeah and we we if the audiencedoesn't hook the premise and sometimes itS&L just gets lost that first 30 seconds.What is going on here?And then it just, you know,
01:20:48but it was a quiet sketch and very dry.But at Largo, we really set it up.Yeah, yeah.We had them on our side.We were surprised.And my, yeah, but the point, yeah,that thing I'm Barry is like you can't go,hey, the rhythm is this.
01:21:01Yeah.People will go.Yeah.Please don't tell me.Some people literally go,give me a line reading.Yeah, sometimes that'll happen.Not so much I'm Barry,
01:21:11but sometimes Henry,it'll be like, just tell me how you want me to say it.But yeah, everybody's a little different, you know, and mostly, I just know, you guys knowfrom acting in things, the biggest thing I think is actors just don't, they don't want tolook like idiots, they don't want to look foolish, they want to make sure they're, right,they want confidence.Like, I've never understood.That's it.
01:21:32I've worked with directors that their whole thing is kind of browbeating you.Yeah, weird, right, understand it.And so to me, it's just like, but at the same time, smart actors.can kind of sniff outif everything's greatthat's not good eitherwhere it's like beautifulbeautiful I love it I love it
01:21:52peopleyeah Fred Wolf would always gooh that's greatthat's really greatoh that's incredibleyou might want to just try this one thingwhich I appreciate that about himI was never in a movie with him like David
01:22:04but I think thatthat is the challenge of being a directorI had a director would give me10 notes between takes10 10 and it was just like it turned into nothing more energy less energy yeah yeahor people being like you know very precious about the words you know I could see sometimesof an actor's like you know struggling with a line you can go just say it and how you would sayit but here's the information that we want to get across is this you know right I've been
01:22:37locked into lines they get really mad if you change one word what's that oneword where you do were you doing and they yeah they change if you change one word because it soundsmore real and they go now we got to the whole thing over and you go what happened you go you flipthese two and you go it's the same exact thought i get i get it's your writing but no i had that onceon a show or movie where the writer was directing and came over and was like you know there's acomma there for a reason and i was yeah exactly yeah it's not good yeah trying tospice it up trying to give it but you know as long as the the general thing is there you know i don'ti'm not i'm not that stoked on if we can kind of find something better yeah sarah goldberg and
01:23:25anthony carrigan especially are two people who can come in and make will come up with lines or sayanthony will just improvise it the sarah was like hey i was working on and i was thinking maybethey could say this this and this and i'm like oh yeah try that you know that's perfectSo it's not over-rehearsed and they could just do it.Yeah, just try stuff in a way.And then, but then, yeah, you know, I've done this too, though, where you improvise a thing.And it's like, now we're getting way off course.Yeah.
01:23:51The story is this.You guys are going over here.Can we, you know.So it's like a nice balance, I think, of, of that, you know, with people.But I do think when you're acting with people, it's hard because they're seeing partners telling them what to do, you know.So that's always, I'm always very conscious of that, you know, when.Yeah, I wonder, have you done a Woody Allen movie?I guess no one does it anymore, but, you know, he's sort of to be facetious, yeah, because
01:24:21Andre Previn, John Cousack told me once he goes, you know, you sounds like you're acting, you know, so you should try to make it seem like you're not like just acting, you know, because it's.Oh, that was a note.Yeah, but it's maybe the writer,but he's maybe the writer, which would be me.No, you're a wonderful.No, you're a beautiful, intelligent woman.Yeah.You're a beautiful, intelligent boy.
01:24:52But talk about a writer-director.So it looks like, if I had to guess,you'll do whatever seasons of Barry,and then you'll be out off on the reservationbeing a film director,which you dreamed of at age 10.Yeah, yeah, yeah.pretty much yeah but it's fun you know it's been the weird securitist road to the thing that you
01:25:13always wanted to do but it's fun how fun you get to do a show and you get to be in it and whatwhat a blast and it represents your sensibility what you want you're working with like-mindedpeople your partner Alex yeah yeah and you you know it's dark and this season especially isincredibly you know brutal at times butBut I don't know.It's nice to kind of have that in it.And it just feels right.Again, it's that instinctive thing.
01:25:43It's like we're talking about death and people getting murdered and stuff.Yeah.I wondered about that, watching season one and season two, the darkness and the lightnessand the comedy beats, you know, right on the edge, you know, you must have been thinkingabout that as you go along.How funny can this be before it takes us away from the story?Always threading the needle with that.But doing it beautifully, it's working, you know?
01:26:07Yeah, this season was definitely like, oh, let's push that maybe a little bitwhen you're trying to be honest with what the, the material is.Just go at that.But sometimes I wonder if it's just getting older.You see friends getting older.People are dying.Yeah, you want to go darker.I've got to start to be, you know, life happens.
01:26:29And it's like, oh, if I'm going to do this, we should be kind of honest about it.I feel if I did the show in my 20s, maybe a little bit more glib.Right.Yeah.It's an inevitable trajectory as life beats you up.Bad shit really happens on this planet and to everybody.Yeah, this stinks.Wow.
01:26:46Wow.Well, anyway, we're finished with part one.We're going to take a short break.Our guest today is Bill Hader.Bill's like, oh, Jesus Christ.Bill.I had a, okay.Bill, do you have anything more you want to say?
01:27:01Because we loved having you.I had a great time.Oh, man.It's like awesome being here.And yeah, man, it's crazy.I'm being genuine.It's very cool getting to talk to you guys.I'm still, yeah, it's just awesome.
01:27:13Well, I'm up on the ladder from you.David's a half step down for me, and you're the other way down.So thank you.I'm an elder at this point, which is great.But look how fit I am.I mean, it's amazing.My energy.I look startling.
01:27:28It's amazing.Yeah, I know you can't see it.Look great.No, I feel good.I'm working on a scripted podcast with my sons, which is so much fun.It's like making a movie.very difficult just all voice acting and effects but i'm having a blast doing that it's calledthe weird place david a little plug before we go this be our biggest episode oh yeah go on the road
01:27:48watch me uh david spade dot com no i'm kidding yeah Dana wait do you know that your son yourimpression of your sons is the Californians i was flattered that fred armison told me thati i have thought it could i mean i feel that voice was in the ether but it was a prettymuch all we're going to do today yeah yeah it's you impersonating your son and and then the firstepisode the first time they did that sketch he was doing a different voice okay oh and then he switchedit out oh and then a dress he came out and went wait like that we all were like if you see iti think it's online christ and they're going what is he doing that's what that's what that sketch whenit first hit me that you were you were all going to
01:28:37going to do that voice and then talk about how to drive around L.A.?That has hit me like a tar brix.It was so fucking, I'm going to take Fountain.I'm going to go.Well, that was a bit we did when we would come back from L.A.And you would be at the table waiting for Lauren to show up on Wednesday.And then everybody would go, hey, I just went to L.A.And it's like, and then someone would go, how did you get there?
01:28:58It's like, well, I took, you know, 4.5.But to do it with those voices, no, I'm going to take 405.No, but that's your, your impression of your son is.the voice we're doing all right i'll take that hey guys if you're loving this podcast which youare be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app give us review five-star ratingand maybe you can share an episode that you've loved with a friend if you're watching this episodeon youtube please subscribe we're on video now fly on the wall is presented by audacityand executive produced by dana carvey and david hather santoro and gregg holzman mattie sprung kaiser
01:29:37and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman,and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech.Booking by Cultivated Entertainment.Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty,Evan Cox,Mora Curran, Melissa Wester,Hillary Schuff,
01:29:56Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor,Sean Cherry,Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira.Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answer on the show.We can email us at Fly on the show.the wall at odyssey.com. That's A-U-D-A-C-Y-I-I-com.
There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click any sentence in the transcript to leave one.