Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - RE-RELEASE - Jim Jefferies

Episode Date: July 9, 2026

The guys are joined by Jim Jefferies to talk famous Aussies, drinking and drugs, singing opera, buggery, Village People, and much more. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jim Jeffries, Australia. From Australia. Is that your best, Australia? Australia can't really be too hard. You have to be very casual about it. There was an Australian TV show called a place called home, and when I watched that, I had a perfect Australian accent. And then if I don't hear it, I don't, you know,

all could try it now. They sort of flatten their vibes. Everything goes down a lot of that, lassie. And Jim Jeffries. Yeah, Jim Jeffries, good time. I see a lot of the comedy store. We bullshit backstage and got a big following out there. Huge stand-up.

A lot of stories that are completely bananas. Yes. So caught us off guard with a few and one about his dad that's cracked up. But I'm excited. You are excited. And here he is Jim Jeffries. Jim Jeffries. I'm very thankful.

Is it already started? Is this started? No, we're happy to be honest. We don't have any structure or introduction or anything. We'll do all that later. Content or anything. Well, actually, I've met David. I've met David many times before.

I've met you in passing, Dana, but I'm a big fan, mate. I'm very excited to do this. I saw you go crush. We met at John Levitts's Comedy Club, right? That's correct. That's correct. Yeah, a while back. And you're kind of unassuming.

You had your accent and everything, whatever. whatever. And it was kind of a rough room because that high, high stage and everything. But then you do, three stories. Then you killed and I go, God, this fucking guy, man. Got some great. Thank you. I don't know when that was. Jim Jeffries got where that was.

Yeah, Jeffries is, that's you. Powerful and funny. I was going to ask you that. Like you, you were one of the first that really walked outside, stepped outside the lines in some of your early specials. Yeah. And comedians love it because I don't do that,

but I love when I see someone who's literally saying exactly what they want to say without any censorship. It's very, you do it. I think the thing that for me early on was just saying cunt a lot was the big difference from the American act. I've always said I'm the Rosa Parks of the C word, right? Because before me.

A lot of people are saying that. A lot of people. Before me, There was a restriction. You couldn't, you couldn't say it in the comedy club. You could say whatever you were. So my first comedy special for HBO, I swear to God, right? I swear to God, had a light at the back of the room and it was a 15 minute mark. You know, us comics, we normally have a light when we have five minutes left, right? To get off the stage. I don't know if many people know that, but that's what we have. We have a lie at the end of the room to tell us when to get off

the stage. I had a light that at 15 minutes lit up and that meant I was allowed to say the word cunt because Netflix because HBO said to me the ratings going 15 minute increments. We want people to like you. We don't want them to turn off in the first 15 minutes. So you can't say the C word for the first 15 minutes. So I had a light at the back and at 15 minutes. I say Aunt Pan is a bunch of cunts. And then I was off to the races.

Can I plummet the ratings now? Let me ask you a question. Are you like if an American hears either a British or Australian act, accent, saying to Wood can't, you know. It's softer to our ears. Are you guys enamored as Australia? Should I go down there and play little tiny clubs? Not like I'm a huge star anymore, but I would play down there. Are they enamored by the way we, our accents are like we are enamored of Australian and British accents? The short answer is no, we're not. You ask for a big star down there. The old movies are massive. The difference is we grew up watching your TV all the time.

So we've seen American sitcom since we're, that's why there's so many American, Australian actors doing American accents in films and not the other way. You know, so we grew up watching stuff, which is weird because when I was growing up, I was a huge fan of like Wayne's World, right? Love Wayne's World.

Didn't know it was a sketch from S&L because we never had S&L in Australia. That was never a thing. So some of the movies that came out of S&L just seemed a little odd to us. because we did have a show. It's like, it's like McGruber. You were like, where's McGruber come from? You know what I mean? Also, you thought Garth is a real guy that just had done like 10 movies and now he's

doing Wayne's World and you're like, oh, that Garth guy is pretty fun. I had a sitcom back in the day on FX and it went for two seasons and it was just about me. Welcome to Cuntville. Yeah, that was the one. It was called legit. And legit was about me taking care of a disabled guy, which was vaguely based on my real life. We almost had a season three. But season three, the whole entire arc of season three that I'd written out, Dana Carvey was the main character.

And I was going to ask you to be in the show. And you were going to play yourself. The plot line of the opening episode was, I was taking care of my disabled friend, the wheelchair. My character had become famous doing standup by the end of season two. I see your character, you doing an impersonation of me on a late night show. I'm all coked up and I get upset. And so I go over to your house to confront you. But I'm chicken, so I can't knock on the door.

So I get the shit out of the disabled guy's wheelchair colostomy bag. And I put it into a paper bag. And then we go up, we put it on the doorstep to light it and do the classic. You know, light the dog shit run away. But we forget to knock on the door and your house burns down. And that's the whole season arc from then on that you. that I'm your only friend and you're sleeping on my couch. And I hadn't even really met you at that stage.

But if you didn't take it, I was going to ask David to do the role. I had options. I'll do it. Wow. And that didn't throw the shit on me. For season three. It's extraordinary.

Yeah, burning down Dana Carvey's house did not get picked up. And they go quickly, any other just quick pitches for season three? Or is that the one we're going on? I've got full scripts. I wrote the whole thing out. I thought it was a good premise. By the way,

that weird or the better. I say, like some of these shows are two by the book and you just can figure them all out. If you start that way, I'm in. Well, the first episode of season one was just me taking a disabled guy to a brothel, which is something I did in my real life. I had a friend with muscular dystrophy. And before he died, I took him to a brothel. And so it's a sweet story, you know, he couldn't get laid.

It's legal in Australia. I should add that being disabled is legal and prostitution. And they finally passed him being disabled. being disabled, Bill. I'm so glad. And I took him down to the brothel. And this guy had died a couple of times. Like he's hard to give him away and he'd been resuscitated.

So me and his brother took him down with the full knowledge that this might go tits up. You know what I mean? So we laid him down and then, you know, the girl did what she did. And then we put him back in the chair. And then we went off and had a couple of drinks. And that was our day. Now, I told the story to so many people. I made a sitcom about the story.

and then cut to a few years later, I see him and he's like, hey, he made a lot of money that story. I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, I did. He goes, you should take me to the brothel again. It's only fair, right? So I'm thinking, this guy's going to get his second blowjob in his life. I'm going to do it, right? I'll take him again.

And I went down, and they all greeted him like he was Norm from Cheers. It turns out that he gives this sob story to everyone. As soon as he walked in there, they were like, Dan. By the way, was he disabled or do we know? Does the wean work? I don't know. Did his experience go, I don't know how Australian is think of this phrase. Did it go tits up or not tits up?

It went tits down, I think. Tits down. Is it on top of it? Is it on something you say or not? No, no one says tits down. Tits up is when something goes badly. There's no tits down. Right.

Yeah, yeah. That's American too. It's like Tits up. I think the term tits up means like a banana pill slip. like up in the air, tits up. It means, it means, it's a lipstick, I think. I want to have about Australian actors, because I've just noticed that they're not only good at American accents,

they're perfect. Yeah. And I start with Russell Crow, like, immaculate. And I don't know why that is. And the Australian actors, you send us all seem alpha, alpha. You know? Like, just nobody's kind of like a. little guy or there always seem to be kind of.

No, they bring men, big, big hulking. You know, there's a third Hemsworth, though, that's a lot shorter, who also is an actor. There's the two main ones and there's a third one. But a tiny Hemsworth exists. There's a, and he's the eldest brother and he's the one who started acting first. He's really nice, but the other two good looking ones came along and went, we'll have a go.

Oh, he's not good looking either. He's good, no, he's good looking by our standards, but not by as a Hemsworth. Yeah, he cremates us, but against those two. Next to me, he looks just great. But I'll tell you my one Russell Crow story, because you mentioned Russell. Oh, you know all these guys. There's like 10 Australians, right? But you know, you know the committee in David Williams?

Mm-hmm. From Australia, Liverpool? No, he's British. He's on Little Britain. Was he sketch show? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I remember that show.

Yeah, he's the judge of Britain's got talent or something like that. So we, Oh, yes, now I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, he's kind of pale, really pale, kind of chub face.

Yeah. Yeah. So me, I was, me, David and, and Russell were going out to dinner. And Russell lives at the end of this pier and in the harbor.

And on the bottom story of the pier, all these fancy restaurants along Sydney Harbor, right? They're all like lined up along Sydney Harbor. And so we went down the lift. We started walking through the car park. And so it's just a car park with a few sort of like exit doors to different shops and stuff along the pier.

And I said, well, what restaurant we're going to? He goes, oh, we're going to this Chinese restaurant. I eat there once a week. It's one of the best Chinese restaurants you'll ever go to. I'm telling you, try the duck. Right. So we walk it along and then I go, well, how do we get into it? And he goes, I just walk in through the back.

They know me, right? So we get to the door. Russell just bashes through the door. He goes past, there's a bloke like washing dishes, probably thinking of someone from ice coming to get him, right? He's just washing dishes out. out the back. Then we go into like, then we go into the kitchen and there's like all the chefs in the in the clean bit, right? So Russell bounds through. He's way ahead of us.

And me and David go in through the restaurant like this. We're like so sorry for coming in through the back. We're very much looking forward to the meal. Thank you so much for having us. Really appreciate you. We get out into the dining area and Russell's just staying there and he goes, wrong restaurant. I went a door early. A door early. And so it was like the most famous man in Australia followed by one of the second most famous people in Australia applied by me.

And it just, I was a cavalcade of shit. We had to go back out in the street and walk out and come back in again. Anyway, he does a very good American accent. Yeah. A brilliant actor.

I mean, he's one of the best actors you ever see. Master and commander, if anyone listening, has never seen it. It's like a miracle of a movie, Russell Crowe. And that the whole ship at sea, have you seen it? I have seen it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It gets your seasick that film if you watch it in the cinema.

There's a lot of rocking around. I think so. So you're huge in the UK. I saw your tour. So what's the name of your tour, God's son? Son of a carpenter. My father's a carpenter, and it's just an easy reference point. But, yeah, I'm son of a carpenter.

I just not tried to say this. It is extraordinary. You're playing Istanbul. You're playing massive dates, Manchester, all over Europe. What do you talk about? What the fuck? Well, I got my comedy chops in Britain. I did most of my early work in the UK.

I went to the UK 2001 and sort of stayed there until 2010 and then I moved to America. But the British comedy circuit, I think, is the best in the world because the cities are so close together. You're never getting on an airplane. You're going 50 miles, Liverpool to Manchester, Manchester to Leeds. You can double up in cities. You can start. You can do an early spot in one city and then end up. You can start in one country.

You can start in Scotland and then finish in England for your night. You know what I mean? It's an interesting place. I got to count me in. Well, I can get your gigs. You two would do all right. You'd do just fine. Don't worry about it.

Well, what are we talking? Big, big clubs or small theaters or small arenas? You could, I think you would do some medium to large theaters, you know. But like, let's not book the O-T's. two just yet, but let's see how the first two it goes. You'd rather sell it out than the 10%ers book you in something too huge. What's the biggest room you will play on this tour? I have done the O2 before, but on this tour, I'll do the Hammersmith, I'll do the Hammersmith

Apollo, which is like 4,000 and I probably will do two shows there. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not... That's pretty juicy. Yeah, but that's like a nice room, and then there's the Manchester Apollo, and then I think there's a gig in Amsterdam that's quite large that I'll do. do. I always do a right in Amsterdam. I've been gigging a lot in Amsterdam for the last 20 years. It's just before weed was legal, I always used to accept gigs in Amsterdam. It's like how,

it's like now that I'm a family guy, I always seem to find gigs in Hawaii out of nowhere. To take the family? Yeah, to take the family. Yeah, I'd take the family to Hawaii. I sell like 500 tickets, but it's fucking worth it because I get to go to Hawaii. What culture, as when you were at your edges, I was going to ask you, if you've adjusted anything, just because you want to or you're still just as edgy. What country accepted you? Are the British looser with this?

Are we more, Patricia? The British were the loosest country for comedy that I've performed, and still to this day. Now, I've always said that, like, everyone always goes, what's the difference between performing in the different continents and countries? Comedy's comedy, laughs are all the same, but the heckling changes. So I believe that Americans try to correct you.

If an American heckles you, they're always like, hey, buddy, I'll tell you what, my sister had blood, you know what I mean, they're trying to get into an argument or prove you wrong. Australians are trying to trip you up. So if you get close to a punchline, they'll just go, ah, I come! And I'll just yell something out so you just get off your speed a little bit. Delightful. Yeah, they're niggly little fucks, right? And then the British try to outjoke you. They try to say something funnier than you.

There's a classic story, right? that um down at the london comedy store uh kirk douglas's uh michael douglas's brother jeff douglas or something i don't know one of the other douglas's that was one of the other douglas's that was yeah one of the other douglas's son he's having a he's having a bad gig at the london comedy store he starts getting booed or a few jeers or whatever and so he tells them all the fuck off and he goes you can all fuck off i don't need this i'm kurt douglas's son And then one person stood up and went, I'm Kurt Douglas' son.

And then another person said, I'm Kurt Douglas' son. And they did the entire scene from Spartagus. The British are very good. They're very good. I have a quick story that involves the C word. So Spartagus, right? Used to be cancer, but we're changing. So, we're going to set the record.

Anyway, this is so random, and it'll amuse like 3% of our audience. So Kirk Douglas is in Spartacus, and he's really kind of buff and, you know, muscular. And Lawrence Olivier is in there. So the guy sees Lawrence Olivier. He's this famous old British actor, super famous. And he's doing leg presses really hard. They go, oh, Larry, you're really working out.

He goes, I'm doing Sparticus. And I don't want that cunt Kirk Douglas doubt physicalize me. That's all I got. Physicalized. Brum, bump, pamp. That was a legitimate use of the word from a story I was told. Yeah, that's an historical use of the seawood. You see Margo Robbie at icebergs a lot.

Margo, what's iceberg? Oh, the iceberg's a restaurant in Bondi. You know about icebergs? Geez, you have trouble. Look out, Dana. Where's Bundy? Bondi Beach is a populous beach that's close to the city center in Sydney, right? It's where all the British people get sunburnt and skin cancer over.

Christmas. But there's a restaurant there that overlooks like a public pool. The public pool has ocean water that pours into it, which is kind of interesting. It's a fancy, it's a fancy restaurant. I've never, I've never met Margo Robbie. I'm a fan. I once was on, I once was the other guest on Kimmel when Margo Robbie was on Kimmel. You know how like you're a guest on those shows you never meet the other guests? Yeah, you have to make a point of it because they're like somewhere else. You don't even know where they are. Yeah, they're in a different dressing room and then you've come on, then you leave, or they've already left and you're the second guest, and then they're they're gone, right? So I've been on, like, episodes of those shows. Bill Clinton was on one,

never met him, right? You know, these, these different people. But Margot Robbie was the other guest, and so her dressing room was next to mine. And I just sort of lingered in the hallway, just like acting like I was looking for something. Just, I'm Australian. I have an inn, you know, I could have gone, You know how to linger. You could linger. She would have accepted me saying the C word in front of her. It would have been music to who it is. I'm a local.

Don't you hate all these Americans here? That's what I said. Exactly. I would have said something like that. But I tell you what, you've got to give it. The Margot Robbie, fly in the Australian flag, is there a better person on it? If the aliens came down and they said, give us your two best, not just looking, just your best human beings.

And we gave him Hugh Jackman and Margot Robbie. Come on now. You can't get better than those two. Let's see. I'll see you, Hugh Jackman and Margo Robbie and raise you, Jennifer Aniston and Russell Crowe. David? Russell Crow is, is he saying Australian versus America?

We're saying the two best humans. The two best humans we give to the aliens to represent us to go, this is what we've got. Okay, first of all, Russell, can. bloody dance and tap dance and stuff. He's not a triple threat. That's true. He's a triple threat. That's huge.

But he can sing. That guy can sing. He's like, your buddy Brad Pitt. Well, yeah, Brad's brilliant. Yeah, of course. You were talking about Brad off the air about how, what is he, 61 or something like that.

Yeah. And he still looks. Like the fact that we have a 61 year old, and I haven't seen the movie that we are going to watch a, drive a Formula One car and go, yep, about right. Yeah.

When they're forced to retire at like 30. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He should have a bloody special pass for the bus, Brad Pitt at his age, and he's going to be driving

a Formula One car. Sure, and Brad, and then Tom Cruise and Mission Impossible. I saw Mission Impossible. Yeah, I got to co-sign that movie.

It's brilliant. Tom Cruise. I haven't seen the new one yet. Was he in the submarine for too long? Oh, it's the greatest movie ever. And then you're like, well,

no, I just see it. Definitely see it. Yeah. It's very cool. You know, you don't want to, overblows. But as far as that, like, you know, these people, they don't, they take care of themselves.

We were talking about that before the podcast. The old time, the actors, it was booze and cigarettes, and they died around 60. So for you, like, you used to, one of your early specials. But we just said, we just said Brad Pitt was a smoker and Russell is a smoker. And then people, they're still smoking. They've got some special, they're getting blood put into it. You're like the audience correcting us. Well, that's true. But recovery, you know, So I was going to, because one of your early specials really made me laugh. The only one I ever saw do this a little bit was Ricky Jervais. But during the special, I don't know if there is kind of like a set,

you would wander around and all of a sudden from behind something, you'd pick up another pint of beer. And I don't know how many beers you did throughout the special. Well, that's something I've never seen. I know you stopped drinking, but do you look at those days? Is any kind of funniness? Because to me, it really got my attention, like, when's the next time he's going to grab a magic beer?

Okay, so I didn't know that was going to be a joke, and I only ever did that for the special. I never did that for my normal shows. I normally used to have my beers just on top of the box when I'm performing, just ready to grab. But because with a special, and I don't know if I'm doing some inside baseball stuff, mostly we record two shows that night, edit it together or just show the best one, right? And so they edited in every pint I had over two shows. so it did look like I had seven pints in one hour. Oh,

right? So I can't take credit if I did not have seven pints in one hour. Now, the reason that they were behind the box was for continuity because the pint, the level of the liquid being going up and down and I'll be leaving empty glasses everywhere else. So just before I went out,

they lined up for each show, four pints of lager behind the thing. Now, back in the day, people used to like go on about what a great drink. I was, I actually was a really bad drinker. I would get drunk very, very quickly. It just so happened in those first two specials, I was also on cocaine. But if they asked, but that's the reason.

That was propping me up, right? And I regret doing that in my life. And, you know, if my child is watching this podcast many years later, I was an idiot. But that was why I could drink. So I gave that, I gave up all drugs when my son was born. When my son was born, I never took drugs again. he's 12 now and I never took drugs again

but I continued drinking and everyone just thought I was a bad drinker everyone thought I was getting out of control I was actually in recovery like so would you say like two loggers like two pints then you were sort of drunk

I mean like slurring and like I started slurring after three pints now okay so and so then I did some specials and I was just a dribbling mess in all the specials. But I was just, and so then my wife gets pregnant with my last child, who's about to turn four, and I haven't had a drink since then. So, and I don't miss it at all anymore, not at all.

I don't miss any of it. Don't miss cigarettes. Don't miss alcohol. Don't miss drugs. I regret doing all of them, really. I feel a lot better. Well, you look younger than the last time I saw it, basically. I mean, you look really good.

I'm not sweating as much as. I mean, yeah, you're shrunken it down. You're more of a, you know, so. I've never seen you messy, though. I think when I see you, it's maybe a more professional setting, but I've never seen you messy. Well, yeah, well, not anymore anyway, but yeah, no, I just sort of knocked it on the head. The cigarettes was the hardest one.

That's the hardest one to quit out of the lot, is these cigarettes. And I think that's the, I read there was a book, Alan Carr, Stop Smoking. The secret to giving up cigarettes is this, is you stop, you stop envying people who are smoking. It used to be you'd give up cigarettes for a while and every time I'd see a cigarette I'd go Oh geez I wish I could have a cigarette You gotta start looking at them like they're slaves to nicotine And that you're free

That's the only way There's my motivational talk for the day Oh that's good hey I have another Kirk Douglas I'm sorry I'm sorry with this totally fits This fits better than the last one Last one was good It was good

That's like that musly cunt Kurt Douglas I did a movie with Kirk Douglas And Burr Lancaster So Kirk Douglas told me His dad was a chain smoker and then he quit. And I said, well, how did you do it? So his dad took a cigarette, put it in his pocket,

and any time he wanted a cigarette, and he was Russian, he would pull it out and go, who is stronger, me or you? Me. He was so competitive that that just stopped. Who is stronger, me or you? Get back in pocket cigarette. I am strong, man. You are a fucking little rolled-up nicotine whore.

And that was the quote. I'm just quoting Kirk Douglas. I'm just clothing Kirk Douglas. I was a nicotine whore back in the day, hoaring myself to nicotine. Has it influenced your comedy at all, like your stand-up writing, just being completely off everything,

because the special you're talking about were really well-received. And the last few haven't been as well-received. Once you've gotten sober, I said, look, Sergeant Peppers was arguably the Beatles' best album, right? It was nonsensical rubbish, right? That was all on asset and stuff, yeah. Yeah, I don't listen to the whole Lucy in the sky with diamonds. It was a painting, you know.

Julian gave me a painting. I'm doing more Paul there, but you know what I mean? You sat down for a plonk, you know. Is that how you did it? We were plonk, John, and I would look at each other sort of like a mere. I'm just quoting him now. But, yeah. But I love Paul.

Were you an opera singer, Jim, before you get a chance to answer anything? So this is a thing. that always is brought up in my life. Yeah, I love it. It's a fake one. So no, no, it's true. It's true. So, okay, so I, I did school musicals because that was how you met girls, right? If you're not, if you're not athletic, I went and you go and do a school musical, join the drama club or whatever. That's my theory on why actors are so short, right? I think it's because they couldn't play sport at a high level, so they joined the drama club. It's all about meeting girls, right? So I think, yeah, that's my theory anyway, because

it makes sense. So, so I went and did musical theater at school. And then there was literally like a talent scout came to one of the shows and said he could be a tenor. And we don't have many tall tenors. And that's a really like a hard thing in the opera company. And so they, they sent me off to singing lessons with this guy called Richard Gill, who was the head of the chorus master in Australia. I sound like an old person talking about relatives you've never met. And I studied for a while. And then when I was 17,

I was put in the Australian opera in the chorus for one production of the Flying Dutchman, which was Wagner. And so I was just like, like I was literally singing in German, didn't know a fucking word of what I was saying. You could see it in German? Holy shit.

Well, I was just buying a CD and just mimicking the German, you know what I mean? And then, know, they teach us the songs, but I didn't know what the songs were about or anything. So after that, I went and studied at Wopper, and Wopper is the Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts, which is where Hugh Jackman studied, which they had a full scholarship ride to study musical theatre. By the time I was two years into that, I was already being paid to be a stand-up comic, and I just quit it in the middle of the night and just went off on tour. But I always

wanted to be a stand-up comic, but I thought, you can't study that at university. I wanted to study something in the performing arts. And so I studied musical theatre. And I would like to, I can't sing anymore because cigarettes and yelling on stage and I've had polyps and nodules and nodules. And nodules I've done it. I've had the surgery on all that. You can hear me voice is pretty raspy now. But I could sing as a and it's weird because everyone always goes, sing us a song when they find out you're an opera singer. And it's like, you wouldn't have gone up to Pelley when he was like hadn't played soccer for 50 years and gone. go on do a bit of keep yuppie.

Let's see a bicycle kid. Yeah. It's a muscle I haven't really worked, but I did do that. I still have fondness for musical theater. I still go and see any production that comes to LA. I have two follow-up questions. Okay. One, did that garneringy puss because you went through a lot.

Is that a new phrase? Garner or Puss? Okay, okay. I will say this to any. Any young heterosexual man who can sing a little bit, right? Yeah. If you go to university where they auditioned thousands of people to get like 30 kids, it was like going to fame.

And half of the class is male and half the class is female. Those girls have been doing dance lessons since they were bloody kids, right? Singing lessons, acting lessons, all that type of stuff, right? All the boys have been doing the same. The 30 kids in my year at university, I think out of the 15th, 15 boys, 10 of them were gay. And that just, the numbers don't lie. That's too good.

It tilts your way, for sure. I'll tell you what, it worked a lot better than being a comedian saying the word cunt all the time. Yeah. Didn't bring as many women in as you think. You know, you could name your next special. Only a certain kind of woman likes that kind of park. Yeah, they were fun girls who did like me, but they didn't come in their masses.

Yeah. Oh. Okay. Here's your special, Jim, ready? This is a new name. Here we go. Tall Tenna. To All Tenna.

I'm calling my new special. It hasn't come out is called two-limm policy is the name of the special. Two-limb like L-I-M-B? Two-lim policy. Because I have, and I talk about this on the special, but because I did that sitcom with the disabled people, a lot of disabled people come to my show. I have a meet and greet after the show. I always let the disabled people join the meet and greet.

I take photos with all the different people with disqual people. abilities. But I can't, like, someone wrote to me and said, hey, I'm bringing my uncle to your show. He's disabled. Can we come backstage and meet you? And you can't write back how disabled. And you can't ask for a photo, right? But we have to have some parameters. I just can't have a lineup of people with fucking dyslexia bothering me. So I have a two limb policy. You have to be missing two limbs or they have to be doing nothing. And if you have two limbs that are fucked up, you can and you're lucky enough to have a photo with me. Take a picture of this, cunt.

You're allowed to come backstage and meet this cunt if you're missing two lids. Okay, that's good. I have a question also from the audience. At one point, we've got to get to your show because we know. Oh, the show is, go ahead, Dana. You're on a little press tour for your show. Sure, we can't forget the show.

The snake. The snake on Foxx. I saw your billboard hogging fucking Sunset Boulevard. I'm not on the billboard. That's how that's how that was an executive decision. David, what was your Fox show with Snake in the title last year? Oh, snake oil.

Snake oil. This is called the snake. His was called Snake oil. What channel? We're part of the snake family of Fox. Oh, it is the same billboard. Yeah, it's by the Chateaum of Mon. Yeah, yeah.

So we snake it up. Yeah. The snake is a reality show that's similar to Big Brother or survivor or fear factor. It's got elements of those three shows. So it's good looking people living in a house in the jungle, doing tasks where they have to eat gross food. But what the secret source in the show is,

instead of like an elimination ceremony or where people get voted off anonymously, what happens is the person who wins the task, gets to become the snake. They get the coveted snake medallion. And then if they get the snake medallion, they get to save the first person. then the person who gets saved gets to save one person.

The person who gets saves gets to save another person. It snakes down the chain, setting up a chain reaction. So you don't have to have a majority rule to like you in the show. You just need to make really one or two friends that will keep saving you. But you can't repay the favor. So if someone saves you, you've got to save another person. So like you get a lot of skull dougary.

You get a lot of skull dougarry. There's not enough skullduggery out there. Yeah, well, I tell you, I was explaining this show the other day on some good morning something, and I said the word skull duggery because that's what I always think about the show. And you know what skull duggery means like pirates and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, old English term. Scal dougarry.

Yes, skull duggery. And the lady went, so if you want to watch the snake, there's a lot of skull buggery. Buggery is the English legal term for anal sex, right? Yeah, I saw that on the church. movie. Oh, you get a bugger. Remember that? Yeah.

Exactly. The word buggery is like the legal term. The buggery happened, blah, blah, blah. And so she just said on morning TV, come and watch some skull buggery. And I think it got through. I don't think anyone knows. Look, and everyone tunes in for that. Could I, just for a second.

That, look, that's a winner. So just for a second, going back, because I kind of spaced out for a second. So you're in, you're in Argentina, in a jungle. Where is everybody? What are they wearing and who are they? Okay, so when I said out at the start of the show, episode one, I'm standing on a crate and there's all these crates around me, which was meant to be like the crates you'd bring reptiles in, you know what I mean?

And I said, come out of your crates, you know, I've got an earpiece and I don't quite know who's who. And they opened the crates up. And fair dinkum, man, we had like, we had like a priest with a collar on. We had a, we had a clocked the bulletproof vest. we had a rodeo rider with the chaps and spurs and all that type of stuff. It's like the village people. Yeah.

Oh yeah, exactly. And we had, and we had, I got a village people story to tell you in a second. Okay. So, so we had, we had an only fans model, right? I thought, you know that's a jury duty? Yeah. Or the Joe Shmoe show. I thought I was the only real person and they were all actors for like the longest time.

They were tricking you. They were tricking me. You were too. I was the mark. I thought I was the mark. It's a good idea, actually. It's not a bad idea for a show, right? And I'm like, I'm like, what the fuck?

And you're in the middle of nowhere. You don't really know a fuss for me. First of all, who employs me to be a game show host? Like, it's already weird. And so, so all these people go. And so right up until the show aired, I wasn't completely short. But I'll tell you my village people's story. So I do another podcast with a comedian good Amos, Gil.

another Australian comic. One percent club. Yeah, I do the 1% club in Australia, but this podcast is called ATM at this moment, it stands for. Different search on the internet.

Anyway, so... Lingo. Yeah, lingo, yeah. Oh, yeah. I forgot about the other one. I got to research that again. Yeah, so anyway, so I was doing a joke

about how Trump has the YMCA playing at all of these concerts, at all of these benefits or rallies, and everyone does the, dance and all that type of stuff, right? And I said, I said, it's so funny that that song is about

having gay sex in the showers and now all these evangelical people are dancing and stuff to the song seems a little odd. I got a cease and desist letter from the village people saying that I was going to be sued for defamation for saying that the village people music

had gay overtones. Is it, does it not? It turned, Victor Willis, who's the cop, I guess he was always out the front and he never turned around to notice the rest of them. Because he's, he's married to a woman called Karen Willis. Before that, he was married to Felicia, Mrs. Huxstable from the Cosby show. He was married to her back in. And you're not allowed to say that the village people music has gay overtones. What?

Or they will sue. They were in the Navy. Well, we get sued now, possibly. We could be possibly sitting. I said, what about in the Navy and macho man? There is gay as fuck. Come on now. Come on now.

Come on now. There's a lyric in the Navy called, We Want More Seamen. Like, I'm all for a double ton, but don't try to tell me I'm a moron. I think they're just saying, come on, guys. I mean, they haven't been outed to like three people so far. It's a catchy freaking song, man. It is good.

I tell you what, because after that I started listening to their other music. It's banger after banger after banger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, it's like, for disco music, you can't stop the music is a hell of a song. I mean, that's such a hook. Now, my son watching you in Wayne's World 2.

Two. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he knows every step because he loves that movie so much. Did you do it in that? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you were the construction worker, weren't you in that? Yeah, I was dressed at the construction where I think we're running away from the bad guy or something.

Somehow we end up in this nightclub, and Wayne and I are now doing YMCA with these people. Yeah, they're all doing, yeah, the YMCAA. And like, you're all spies. Like, you were up a telegraph pole. Oh, that's right. And then you heard something. And then I think Wayne was like a cop. And then somehow they found an Indian for no apparent reason.

That's right. And all of a sudden it comes together. And then all of a sudden it was a little bit like, like, what's that, police academy, and they ended up in the blue oyster. It was a little bit of that. They ended up in the wrong nightclub and then they do it. But that's the dance because you guys all did it and then you actually did the thing. And then I always say like if the village people actually do get me, if I get my day in court

and I am being sued by the village people, I'm going to go, not guilty. Yeah. Act it out. Is there any character left? I mean, they've got to construct. production worker, the Indian. I mean, maybe you come as other costume. I don't know. I just come as Cockatoll Dundee, just off the side. You know? What is your son's name that loves that movie? Hank. Hank. Hank, this is Garth. I got a different haircut, but thanks for watching.

When we end the podcast, can he come up and say hello very quickly? He's downstairs playing video. Of course. You know, normally, Jim, that would be fine. Camera shine. Just bring him up. We have to whisk Dana off to a meeting. Will he come on or you want to do it with off camera? He's also a big Joe Dirt fan. Okay, bring him on, bring him on, bring on. Let's compare box office. Joe Dirt was my first Australian trip. I went to Sydney.

Oh, what, you filmed it in Australia? No, we went to get a premiere there. It was the same, it was a night after the premiere of Moulon Rouge. And I went down there, and I went to a concert, and they sat me next to Baz Luhrman, all this great Australian stuff. He, he, look, he still flies the flag. I always argue that things like, I guess Mulan Rouge is an Australian film. Australian actress, Australian director, filmed in Australia. Kylie Minogue plays the Tinkerbell thing.

It's an Australian movie as soon as Kylie's involved. Yeah, Kylie's out. Kylie, you can't speak ill of Kylie. No, no, I think she's great. I like, I have great, Australians are great. I do like that. Go ahead, Dan. And then I have one last story.

No, it's just weird sometimes. I was hosting. Vegas showcase for movies. And Baz Luhrman was there, Mulan Rouge, and Nicole Kidman. So I was hanging out with them. It's just kind of weird. You brought it up. And that's my whole story.

There's no joke, nothing. Other than I met them at the promotion of the thing. Well, I think it was a strontoy whore. Nicotine whore. It brings two of new nicotine's whore. Who is stronger, me, or you. Sorry, hoars. Sorry, go ahead.

That was just for me. I'm a little punchy right now. Like back in the pocket. Jim, one last question. And we're going to ask everyone again. So you're going to have one more shot. This is a story from a viewer that said, if this is not a funny story,

we would just take it out. I don't know if this is a funny story from you. Your father sat you down, you and your wife to tell you something. I can't, I can tell you that off the air, but I can't tell it on the air. Okay.

My dad doesn't, um, uh, Yeah, I can tell you off the year. I can't tell it on the air. Sorry. Well, we have an after-hours section. Because my dad doesn't know how to get onto YouTube or anything like that,

but it will get back to him on this podcast for sure. I didn't know what level of it was, but I apologize. It's 100% true. It's 100% true that story. I don't know the story. That's why I'm waiting to hear. We're going to, yeah, just the tease. We don't need the story, but just the tease is going to trend.

Yeah, we like the team. Hey, man, it's all about clicks. So let me ask you, before you bring Hank out, one more question for you. I'll tell you this. Okay, we can cut it out if you want. I can tell it to you right now if you want to actually hear it. No, I don't want it to. I'm scared.

I don't want it to accidentally get in. I don't want to embarrass you. I just think the, we don't see how this works. Alex Murray tell you about this story because he knows. Yeah, he did. Oh, okay, because me and David have the same manager. So that's what's happened there. Well, I'll tell you this about the Carvey family. My childhood family with five kids and Bud Carvey and all that.

stuff that went on. Throw away the key because no one will believe it. There's some things we leave off the podcast. Something better not share. Just know that it's a little wacky. Look, he's 84 this year. If I'm back on the podcast in a couple of years, I might be able to tell you. Okay.

Fair enough. Give it some time. 2027. We're going to hold you to that. All right. Thanks, Jim. We'll talk to you soon, buddy. Hang it out with you, man.

All right, listen, if you're enjoying the fly on the wall, of course, hopefully you are. Click follow. We don't want to be desperate, but obviously smash that goddamn button on your favorite podcast app. Smash it. Leave a review, a good one. Leave a five-star rating, nothing else. Whoops. And maybe even share an episode with a friend.

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And executive produced by Hold For It, Dana Carvey and David Spade. Or David Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't write those stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman, and Leah Reese Dennis. The show is edited by Evan Cox, with production support from Phil Sweet Tech. Talent Production and Booking by Sophia Lippor.