Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - RE-RELEASE - Nikki Glaser

Episode Date: September 1, 2025

Let's revisit this episode with our good friend and roast queen Nikki Glaser! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Discover the magic of BetMGM Casino, where the excitement is always on deck. Pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games with live dealer. From roulette to Blackjack, watch as a dealer host your table game and live chat with them throughout your experience to feel like you are actually at the casino. The excitement doesn't stop there with over 3,000 games to choose from, including fan favorites like cash eruption, UFC Gold Blitz, and more. Make deposits instantly to jump in on the fun and make same-day withdrawals if you win. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. If you don't want to miss out, visit betmgm.com for terms and conditions. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only.

Please gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact ConX Ontario at 1-866-531-2-600 to speak to an advisor, free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. You know, Dane, I always say rackum after I say like a 10 out of 10 joke. That reminds me of rackettin. If you're shopping while working, eating, or even listening to this podcast, then you know and love the thrill of the hunt.

But are you getting the thrill of the best deals? Racketon shoppers do. They get brands they love with the most savings and cash back. And you can too. start getting cash back at your favorite stores like Uniclo, Best Buy, and Expedia. And even stack sales on top of cashback. It's easy to use. And you get your cash back through PayPal or check.

The idea is simple. Stores pay Rackettin for sending them shoppers, and Rackettin shares the money with you as cash back. Download the free Racketon app and never miss a deal, or go to Racketon. C to start getting the most bang for your buck. That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N-Racketon.C-A. Dana, we've got a republished episode

of one of our favorites, Nikki Glazer. Nicky Glazer. Nikki Glazer. She's fun. She's fun. This was a fun one. Super fun. The good thing on Nikki,

a lot of these comedians that I see are hanging out with, She is a good laugher. You know, comedians that don't give it up at all. It's kind of tough to have goofy conversations. She laughs a lot. She is always writing, which I like. She always wants to keep that act moving. It's hard worker dedicated, focused.

She's a grinder. My God, her road gigs. I look at her Instagram. It's like microscopic. I can't even read all the city she's going to. And that takes its toll. It's a tough job. She's always upbeat on the show.

we play Vegas together. And it was fun. You guys are friends. I was invited to a dinner with her. Oh, that's right. During COVID? Yeah. And what this, she's, you know, her act is very adult, but she's actually sort of old

fashion, but incredibly sweet and doesn't have any airs about her. Like in this episode, you're going to listen to, she was sort of kind of on a role, but she said this will be the hottest I'll ever be. It was after the Tom Brady roast, I believe, if I have this correct. Is that right? I think so. And I think it was before Golden Gloves, I think. Yes, it was before Golden Gloves after that. And she was like, she was kind of self-effacingly saying, I've just peaked. I had a run. You know, and so. But she's still killing it. She's selling out. She's doing great. Like I said, we're at the Venetian in Vegas this weekend. So a lot of fun with her.

actual friend actually someone I text with and absolutely she's incredibly easy and fun to talk to here she is what's the state tax are you taxed in your native state I would never know that I live I live in Missouri and I rent an apartment and I don't own a home I don't own a car I don't have kids but I do spend a lot of money to see Taylor Swift and stuff like that and I eat out for every meal you don't have a car So you just Uber everywhere? I bought my mom a car and then I took her car. And so I'm driving my mom's car.

I paid for it. That's a great present. Just keep taking it back. How are your parents around? No, my mom's old car. Oh. Yeah, no, that's insane. Handling, having a famous daughter who's really successful.

How are they? Oh, they love it. How does that? They're famous, Dana. She's there on her Instagram. Yeah. Well, my parents, there were five kids. And so tons of people.

pictures on the refrigerator. And then as I got more and more successful, eventually it was just all me. And I said, Mom, what are you doing? So did she have ambitions or your mom or dad to be in theater arts? My dad is a musician and plays around St. Louis in grocery stores and different bars. Don't lowball him like that. I know. He feels he hates when I start with grocery stores, but it mainly is grotesquist. But he's really, he's a great musician. He just, he just wanted a family and safety.

So he chose like a career in cable, which was safe for many years until he got out right after he got out. And then, yeah. Yeah. So it was, so he took the safe route and then I, he really believed in me and always supported me.

I knew when I first like started, it was going to take, I said eight years before I wouldn't depend on them. to help me out a little bit here and there. And it was like eight years on the day where I didn't need them anymore where I got that first check that kind of made it.

Well, I mean, parents normally warm, but in your own mind, I can talk for David or me. It's like, it didn't seem like a risk. I was like, well, I'm just going to try this. I mean, were you more like, oh, I don't know, maybe I should have a plan B and be at a junior high school?

No, my plan B was, like, kill myself someday. I mean, honestly, like that was kind of like, I was like, I guess I'll just, I don't know what I'll do if I don't find an inn some way because I tried all the other ends. I'd tried acting. I had tried singing and no one cared to hear any more of that. And I mean, I wanted to go to theater school

and be like an actress. And then I couldn't even get booked like in my high school play. I was always like, you know, in the diary of Anne Frank, I was Jewish Townsperson B. And that was my senior year of like, this is going to be my role. And so I was getting all the feedback that I did not have it. Frank, that's not. By the way.

Townsperson B. Yeah. Her plan B was just a pill plan B. That's the only plan B we've heard. But did you guys have a plan B? Like, was there, did you even, I think that's part of why I was successful was that I didn't even,

there was just no chance that it wasn't going to happen. Maybe I let that thought in for 20 minutes of my whole time struggling, maybe. I just, it never even occurred. I feel like I hear about like Jim Carrey and manifesting stuff. And I don't, I think I unintentionally manifested. this career because I never let in a thought that it wouldn't happen.

Well, I think that's good. I mean, for me, it was like, I think after a few years, I don't know, the eras of comedy booming, but at some point, I was averaging five to six hundred a month, a $50 gig, $25 birthday party. So then I was like, in those days, too bad for the younger generation, I could, that was my job. So now this is my job. I was a year before this and a damn good one.

Yeah. I love waiting tables too. This is my job. So then I just went wherever. But I just thought if this is what I do to make money on planet Earth, this would be a good way to go. Yeah, even if it stayed at that level, you mean. Yeah. I always said a waiter's wage.

And now it would be like 2,000 a month, $2,500 a month probably. Yeah. Yeah. I did the same thing. Yeah, my overhead like you, Nikki, when you start, everyone when they start is a minimal overhead so I quit too early I was in Arizona State but I was working at a clothing store and I was also and I quit because I was making 80 a week I was making four gigs that are $20 of pop and I was like I feel like I got this because I wasn't but I and then I got out of school my mom was

like God damn I'm like listen I wanted to be a radio DJ because that was the only other thing you could sleep in and then maybe do the afternoon shift and didn't seem that hard but I thought I can't have, everything was too tough. School started to get hard. I got distracted by stand-up. So if- What were you studying to be? Like,

were you in school to be something? It was not, it was a little early on because I was still like an anthropology and things that didn't matter. But it was to ultimately be in advertising because my dad was

and my brother Andy would. Okay, that makes sense. And advertising is the thing that you go, okay, if I, that was always my fallback too. I was like, because it's creative. But apparently it's even more soulless than what, we like it's apparently it's you're so creative all day and it's sometimes fun but it's like you're ultimately just trying to manipulate people with your art and that's got to be kind

of depressing which we is what we are doing a lot of times as well like we've asked people this before but like okay your first set yeah yeah and and where was it in the day of the first set that you know you're going to go up right because never said is always good again do you know how many comedians that would be like just legends right now that just had a rough first set and couldn't couldn't even imagine how good it feels to have a good set because that is what keeps you coming back is that memory of the the good one no amount of bad ones make you forget it and chase it but um yeah of course it was good um it was at uh university of colorado is my freshman year and i was like really uh not doing well mentally i was i had an eating disorder i was like on

death's door literally i was about to die um and i was praying to die because it's just a miserable life. You can't eat because that's part of the disease. You're hungry all the time. You're cold. No one wants to be friends with you because they think you're like on a diet trying to look hot even though like that's the last thing you're trying to do. You're just like stuck.

It's like it's the fucking worst. It's having a terminal illness and everyone blaming you for it and thinking that you chose it because you want to be hot. It's like it sucks. Quit choosing to be hot. Yeah. Well, because it starts that way, right? Like you get you do a diet and it kind of works.

You get some attention. And then I went as I do. fucking, but I just couldn't. I went bananas and didn't even eat one of those a week. And just, like, and so I was really good at it, but then it went really bad. I was hospitalized and stuff. So it was, I went off to school to, like, get away from my parents who were, like, monitoring what I was up to with not eating.

And it was already my plan to go out of state for school, but then I caught this eating disorder between, decided to go out of state and leaving for it. And I was hospitalized during the summer at home. it's it's rough but i tricked them all got out was like i'll eat enough and i'll go to school be a responsible all the doctors are telling my parents she's going to die if she goes there like there's no question i was like yes like let me this is hell i don't even know how to get out of this i don't want to get out of it like it's just it's fucked but then um because i looked so scary this is my theory because i looked so scary and no one wanted to be my friend um i just

became like loud and like funny and like told stories and violent like you know when we're ourselves around the dorm or at the sorority, I was like rushing a sorority. I looked like a skeleton. Like it was crazy, but I just was so funny that people started forgetting the way I looked and wanting to be friends with me. Always go louder. Yeah. And I'd never done that before.

I never needed to do that before. I kind of just always wanted to be not noticed. But at this point, I was so noticeable by the way I looked, I couldn't not get ahead of it. And then that was when I started hearing like, you should be a comedian. And I was like, huh? Like, is that what it? I don't, I knew about stand up, but I didn't pay it. It wasn't, I liked SNL, I liked Seinfeld, I liked Friends, I liked Conan.

That was like the pillars of my comedy obsession, but I didn't get into stand-up. And then I, um, I, like, Googled it in my dorm room and was like, is it true? You were inspired by John Bonnet and her early success. I didn't put it the joke in my special, which is coming out May 11th. May 11th, what's the name of it? HBO, it's called Someday You'll Die. And it's Saturday, May 11th. So it's already out now by, I think, the time this is airing.

So just go check it out, HBO. Someday you'll die. But I cut it from the special, because I had too many jokes about, like, wanting pretty girls to die. And so I had to lose one of them. So it was, you know, the joke is a true story. I've always been, like, insecure, always wanting to be the center of attention, not knowing how to, like, get it. I feel like that's faded as I get older and realize it's not that fun.

But initially I was always like, who doesn't want to be? famous like do you guys relate to that like your friends in high school or middle school but mine were like not really we don't really care about being famous and I'm like what is we're not thirsty I think now I mean a younger generation because everyone is famous in their own way with Instagram all that but I I said this to Jerry Seinfeld I checked with my wife once a year I go honey did I ever say I wanted to be rich and famous ever really and she said no because I was just trying to win the club. I was trying to get to the middle

and then get to the headline. I was just thinking like that. It was too abstract that I would be famous, too crazy that I could be on TV. And it hurt me in a lot of ways throughout my career. I never was able to really take it in. So, Dana, what motivated you was just becoming a headliner. Like, that was the first.

I just want to be able to make a living, a good living, a decent living, doing stand-up and making people laugh. Yeah. And I came from a track and field cross-country, background. So I was also really, really competitive, but not in a nasty way. But when Rob Williams was there initially, and then he left to do morekin, Mindy when he came back, which I said many times, I don't know. And he would levitate the room, as I call it. And it looked

like he wasn't trying. And it was explosive. I just thought, well, there's a standard. So I kept saying, I've got to get more intense. And I was horrible. I would have one joke after like a five-minute setup for a way, you know, I was like, yeah, oh, I see a short setup and then a lot of, you know, it took me a long time. But man, did you, do you figured it out? I mean, so quickly. You're, you got to his level, uh, yeah, I mean, but relative, like, like, you had it from being, like, bombing wildly on stage to figuring out how to elicit the kind of laughs Robert Williams gets, and a, you figured it out. And, um, but that's so interesting to me to, because there, there is a difference.

Like, I think for me being famous is just like being loved, you know, like it sounds vapid, but it's like, at its core, it's just like, I just want love and acceptance. I want to be able to survive in the world because people like me already, you know, it's just a survival instinct. So it's as sound, I hate, I want to take some vapidity away from it because it feels like, um, I just want everyone to like, is that even word. I just want everyone to, you know, um, I like that. You're already, you're already walking into room and we have. have the benefit where people know you and have mostly a positive opinion or at least you're not scary at least when you walk up to people or you say oh your kids are cute they don't think you're a psychopath they're like oh this guy or any situation you can say hi to people or you can and they kind of are off guard already they're not like hey fuck you don't walk up to me

yeah well doesn't that make sense in an evolutionary standpoint of like wanting the whole tribe to know who you are and care about keeping you around because and having some stake in your existence. I mean, it's, it comes from, it makes sense where it comes from. But Dana, I think I also have that in me too, that competitive nature that I didn't, I didn't know because I think I'm the same way of like, I'm not like throwing a, you know, remote control if I lose a video game, kind of angry competitive, but I am viciously competitive.

And you realize that when you do things like the roast, which is like, I was just thinking about this. This is like the day after, two days after the roast. And, like, immediately you walk off stage and everyone's like, this was the best, this was the second best, this was the, like, it is a ranking thing. And I'm like, oh, my God, that's why I like,

Roses, because I want to, I finally found a way in comedy to, like, compete. And in a way that I feel comfortable competing. Like, I can't compete maybe in other ways in comedy. Yeah. And I don't look at, like, going up at the comedy store against people as a competition, but this is like, you have five minutes.

Everyone's doing the same thing. It's the same task and who's the best. And, yeah, brings out that nature. The real thing is you have, minutes. Everyone's doing 23. It's so true. Oh, my God. I texted you during the roast.

I go, is everyone going fucking long or what's going on here? Well, it was interesting. They told us, like, you know, football players are getting three minutes. Belichick's getting two, you know, and then you're getting, you're getting six. You're getting, Andrew's getting six. Jeff's getting six. And everyone went over because the laughs, you don't account for the laughs at the forum. But I will say they were like, I thought they were going to be a lot more strict.

about you can't do this uh you know you can't say this and but get this i'm sitting so i have my set like i'm down to the wire right i've been working for a month on perfecting every fucking word every transition everything makes sense finally get it down submit it i'm and i mean like under the wire then rush to the red carpet out of the red carpet i go i do have time to go to prompter to see what this fucking looks like even read through the prompter i'm in the prompter room all the comedians all the people in the dais are in the room so i'm like can they get So I'm reading through Kevin's behind me. I'm like, Kevin Hart, will you not look at, but he couldn't see over everyone's shoulders

anyway, so it didn't fucking matter. So I was like, can you raise the monitor? And so he, so I'm reading through. I like, and then rushed right on stage. I sit down. Kevin comes up to do his set first open and he does one of my jokes. Oh, classic roast situation. Do you think he saw it on the prompter or just parallel development?

That setup sounded like I thought he stole it. No, no, no, no, sorry about that. Parallel development. Yes, obviously. And, but I was just like, how did they not catch this? But the truth is, like, the writing team is getting jokes last minute. Kevin chose his jokes very last minute. They're entering them in.

No one cross-checked it. So his joke is that Tom Brady got out of his divorce, and then he's been fucking around town so much his dick has C-T. And mine was about masturbating to him to research for this, and my clit has C-T-E. but on mine I have like a tag that I'm like okay that kind of that makes it different so I'll just blow past the fact that I do the same joke but I'm also like at first I'm just my face I can't even I'm on camera but I'm like how do you get it off the prompter that I mean during the show you can't get it off the prompter right it's a live show there's no producer to call we're on stage already sat there's I don't have I'm like do I talk into my love and think maybe someone hears me I don't have an in the ear to hear if they hear me Jeff come Jeff Ross who's a producer comes and sits down next to me I go I have the same joke Evan just did. And I can't take it out of the prompter. The prompter guy is not going to build. I haven't worked with him enough to, hey, if I do this, just go to the next one. I had it set. So then I'm

looking at one of my friends who's in the front row and she knows my set backwards and forwards. And she's like, deer in headlights look too. And I go, what do I do? And she's just like looking at the carpet, because we're trying to think of another joke that will fit coming out of Tom, you were on my fantasy team last night and then transition after the CTE, like into something CTE. without saying it. Like, can you jump the line without the prompter freaking out and blowing your rhythm?

No, but that's the thing. I'm like, I don't think I can't because I'm like, I don't even know. And then I, and it would ruin my flow entirely if I stopped and go, hey, can you? And then I go, okay, maybe I'll just say the joke and go, that would have gotten better had it not been already set, like address it.

But then that's like, do I need to? I've never performed for even this big of a crowd before it's at the forum. So it's like, I don't know the dynamics of the sound and what people like, and so, But then I did the math on it. I was like, okay, there's enough time between me and that joke that they might reset. Like, they'll subconsciously know that isn't as funny as it would have been without hearing it.

But maybe they won't be able to place it. I think so. I mean, I just noticed it. And I went, oh, oh, well, the head didn't talk to the tail. That was just, and there was going to be. Yeah, no one's going to be like she stole that 11 minutes ago. Other people talking about how beautiful Tom Brady is, how attractive he is and stuff like that. or is he gay?

How can you not have overlap? There's going to be bumps. Definitely. And I was surprised that there weren't more like when I submit because after that happened, it was one of his first jokes. And so the rest of the time I'm watching the teleprompter like, where else? Like what am I going to do? Like it was just that moment of, you know, live TV, which obviously you guys are used to

where it's like you're, I got to make a decision. And let's just see if it's the right one. But you have the best line of the night. Which was? I thought it was the most clever. it was hard-hitting, but it really made me laugh out loud. And that was, how does it feel? I won't want to even say that when he, he can kick your ass while he eats.

Yeah, oh, thank you. Yeah, yeah, I'd say that I talk about Tom Brady now, Giselle, his ex-wife, is dating a jujitsu instructor. I was like, that's got a hurt knowing your ex-wife's new boyfriend could beat your ass while eating hers. I like that you don't say eating her ass. Because I was like, oh, did I even say that? Poor Giselle has to like. Well, it's so outrageous, but it was constructed really well. Thank you.

Heard. You didn't say ass twice. It was a reason it was palatable. Thank you. That really means a lot. Well, I'll just tell you point point. It doesn't matter that you're on the thing. I thought you won the night.

You saw how Kevin Hart react. If there is a competition, there is a good reactor, though. Dude, he really did give it up to you. You know, me, me, not no money line and all that. he sincerely in that moment was giving it up to like that's how it's done it doesn't get any better so you must have felt good after that I mean amazing because you guys know like we are all kind of in competition sometimes and for another comedian like Kevin Hart who definitely has achieved that level of success by making things about him and probably not making

it about other people and shining the light on them that's how you get there to use that time to break I mean he he literally went up and was like quoting people's jokes just saying them again. He literally, after, after I got a standing ovation, which I didn't even know about, he goes, I want everyone in the, in case you didn't see it at home, Nikki got a standing ovation to give me that. Like, he did, I know why he was doing that because he wants to build me up. It wasn't so that people actually, it was, it was designed that way. And I thanked him afterwards and I said, I know you did, you didn't need to be as generous with, you know, the laughter and saying things afterwards as you did. And he was, he did it for everyone. And it was, it was an

example of what I want to, like, be more like in this business. it more fun. It made him very likable too. Yeah. It's a way Callan, you know, when you go on his show, when you do stand up on his show, he comes, which is terrifying. And you kind of do, you don't go up cold, but you're coming back from a commercial

break. It's obviously, it's like all of a sudden this person just standing there who's no one's seen. It's like kind of going up cold a little bit for an audience. But he comes out before, warms them up, tells them, I love this girl so like, even if he doesn't. And then he is like cackling at his desk. And just his silhouette moving, he

probably isn't even making any sound, but he's giving us that. And the audience is watching him to decide how to feel about me, subconsciously. It's the way that I feel about YouTube comments, which I hate so much. I hate that everyone gets to just comment on things all the time. And David, I always, when I talk about this, I always say how you told me that the Hollywood Minute, what it was? ShowBism, yeah, Hollywood Minute on SNL was the only time, like, celebrities got roasted or like kind of got made fun of or ridiculed.

Correctly like that. Yeah. It was all People magazine and all everything was like fawning, fawning, fawning. Yeah. But that was the only place for it in the 90s. Like, and look at it now. We, that seems insane that that would be the old. Like it's, it didn't exist before.

Yeah. And so. Yeah. YouTube comments are constantly there to tell you how to feel about a video. Like even I'm a pretty savvy consumer and I feel like, you know, I want to watch content and really make my own decision about how I feel about this and not be influenced, but then a little YouTube comment pops up. And if it's like, you know, if it's one of, if it's fly on the wall or whatever, commenting like one of the greatest things I've ever seen and I see a little checkmark

next year. Even if I don't know what it is, I'm like, oh, someone with a checkmark thinks this is the best thing. I like, I like this more no matter what I just do. Even me who knows that it's trying to get me to like it. So that's what I think it's really detrimental when it's negative. But when Kevin kind of co-signed, it really, I think, that's why there's been this fervor afterwards that I've never felt in my career before of people being like, you had a standing ovation, you were the best one. I'm like, thank you, Kevin Hart. I mean, I did well, but that really, that boost helps so much. Grab a coffee and discover Vegas level excitement with BenMGM Casino. Now introducing our hottest

exclusive, friends, the one with multi-drop. Your favorite classic television show is being reimagine into your new favorite casino game featuring iconic images from the show spin our new exclusive because we are not on a break play friends the one with multi-drop exclusively at betmgm casino casino want even more options pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games from blackjack to poker or head over to the arcade for nostalgic casino thrills download the betmgm ontario app today you don't want to miss out 19 plus to wager ontario only please Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you,

please contact Connects Ontario at 1866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor. Free of charge. MedMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. With Amex Platinum, access to exclusive Amex pre-sale tickets can score you a spot trackside. So being a fan for life turns into the trip of a lifetime. That's the powerful backing of Amex Pre-sale tickets for future events Subject to Availability and Vary by race

Terms and conditions apply Learn more at amex.ca.ca slash Yannex It's hard to have no glitches It's hard to go through a set It's hard to go later When they introduced you I said Fuck yeah she's got to go soon

Because Andrew Schultz Who's great And by the time they got to him I forgot he was going on I'm like oh my God he's still He's got to follow every joke And he still did great I told him

I said you, if we so upsets, this could be a different conversation. Because he's like, you did the best. Don't even fucking try to tell me. I did too. And he's being very sweet. But I go, but we know it was about, they didn't have any juice left. And we were two hours into a show. I couldn't believe how well Tom Brady did three hours into a show.

I was like, but it was a good time all around. Who did you guys in your career? Like, do you feel, were there any moments where someone went out of their way to vouch for you or say you were funny that is like, stands out to you. I know you have tons, but well, for me I guess

Brad Gray and Bernie Berlstein, they were they just championed me. I had other managers and people didn't get me. I was sort of a cutesy guy. I didn't look like a comedian. I did a lot of weird sitcoms

because I didn't know that I'd be on Saturday Live in three years, you know? Whoa. Really? They were the first one. that said, yeah, you, you, yeah, you, you've got it. And directed you towards SNL and that kind of thing? Were they the ones that say, this is where you belong? Yes. And Bernie managed Lauren Michaels.

Bernie was Lauren's manager. Got it. And we were all in the ecosystem there. So it was a lot of luck. But just wanted for a second, being competitive, like Kevin Hart, I'm sure is. Maybe he's like who can get to a billion or whatever is a separate lane from generosity. and being, you know, it's like, I can imagine you meeting a version of yourself

who's like 22 in the clubs and you catch something good about her. And I, yeah, Tanya Harding her. You just make sure, well, just to be honest, you probably would squash her. Right, because of the amount of time

I've been doing it versus her. Yeah. Can you pull out the tricks? And then the baton. But yeah, I am, that's what I was type like the Jean-Beney story that I didn't get, like, I'm threatened by girls who are, like, younger and prettier, and I can see potential in them. Like, of course I want them to go away and to get, you know, get a boy, like, you know, Britney Murphy out.

I hate to, but I'm making, obviously, a joke, but I want them to get a boyfriend who controls them, and then they don't get to succeed and be, and reach their potential. There's a secret deep part of me that, yes, because when, if, to me, it's a survival of the fittest, and if she's out there, then that's one less spot for me. and people say there's room enough for everyone, but there is a threshold for how many people people can know. So there is, you can say it all day. Everyone can be famous, but we don't, not everyone can. There is a threshold. So there is a spot.

If someone goes, another spot opens up. But now I fight that disgusting part of my brain that is so jealous and so critical. And when I challenge myself every time I get threatened by a girl on Instagram, like I see a clip of a young hot girl and she's being hilarious, like Catherine Blamford or, what is her name? Caroline Benowitz, these two, like,

cute, blonde, hilarious girls. And I'm just like, what the fuck? And I just want them, it to not be funny so bad. I'm watching it. Like, please don't be funny.

And it is, because it is every time, because they're just naturally hilarious in a way that I feel like I'm not. I, now instead of, when I feel like, go away,

bitch, I posted on my Instagram story and I say this girl's hilarious. I just like, I have to do it. It's my rule for myself to, like, fight that because that,

People did that to me early on in my career and tried to, like, you know, get me canceled in different clubs and told people I was sleeping with comedians to get stage time. And I was, like, a virgin. I didn't even, I was scared of sex. And I was suddenly, like, this whore that was blowing, disgusting comics for stage time. And it was, it really held me back. I had to, like, move out of my home club town because it was, like, no one respected me. And everyone thought I was stealing jokes from guys. I like that move still works.

It's like, she's a whole. It's like it works through the history of time. Yeah. And it just. Everyone's like, what? And she was, these guys were right. She's blowing Polly Shore and he's writing for her. And I was like, I don't know which I should be more insulted by.

Not because Polly's hilarious, but like that, how could you think he could write these jokes from me and that I would trust him to write to my voice? Like it was just like, it was. So I try to just do the opposite, even though they're absolutely, I really relate to that. bully the person you know the people that even bully what is is the phrase is the phrase people who cultivate rumors to destroy people it's it's easy to do isn't it like shoddenfroy you know the german word for yeah yeah joy in your friends failures though that we all we all are five years oh okay we're all 10 years old inside so there is all those reflexes you know it's like toy story there's a new kid in town you know all that

yeah we do it's the next the next Nikki Glazer. It's instinctual. You're being replaced. There's someone younger. They get more tension. They're more fertile. Like, these are all the things I talk about in my special.

But yeah, it makes sense. Like, I remember, what was I just going to say? Oh, but when my bully in my hometown, like, who really devastated me. And I really did have to leave town because she got all of my friend comics against me, like my club that I started at. Like, I just couldn't get stage time because she convinced everyone I was a hack whore. And so That's the title of your next special.

Hackhor. I think that's like the Japanese translation of the one that's out now. That's your poster. That's your poster. In Tokyo. But what I remember, I had told Amy Schumer was,

we were dear friends and we were talking about, and she knew all about her. And oh, we both hated this girl. And we were like, oh, you know what? this is going to drive you to succeed and I finally got to a place where I was doing really well and I remember texting Amy one day like I found out she's pregnant and I was kind of like

oh she's like got a husband or boyfriend and Amy just goes you won! I was like oh you're right we're not going to hear much from her now so yeah that's my new thing is wishing girls pregnant yeah you wish him to get pregnant to get rid of a while instead of death just pregnancy it buys you some time when we did the roast for Roblo. I saw Rob yesterday, actually. We did the roast for Roblo. Why did I say that? He's good, because you can't

not see him and go like, I'm looking at a perfect, it's jarring what he looks at. I'm sure you never get used to it. But yeah, when we were doing the roast. It still bothers me. It is. He's my John Bonnet. So when I did the roast with Nikki,

that's the only one I've done, was against Roblo, or whatever it's called. It was Roblo Roast. And then I thought one of the interesting things I never did it was the respect and quiet, unwritten rule that regular people don't seem to know. When I go to the improv, if Jeff Ross is on stage, I don't go in. And when they're practicing roast jokes, I saw you the other night, you're doing yours. The other comics that are on the roast step aside on their own.

They go, we're not allowed to see each other. Yep. And when you go to the stage, Dana, they were like, that day I'm going to just look at the prompter. Rob Lowe is there and they go, we got to get Rob Lowe out before you can come in. And everyone's in on it. And everyone understands. Yep.

Oh, wait. But we don't say it. Yeah, they just go, you're not ready to go in yet. And in my head, I go, oh, Nikki must be. Someone's in there. Yeah, we don't. That's the strange thing. I've noticed that in this time around, like I'm running into Jeff around town and I'm,

you're trying to get a sense of like, how hard are we going? With Tom Brady, can we mention Aaron Hernandez? Can we mention him kissing his kids? Can we mention Giselle even? Can we mention Bridget Moynihan? Can we mention him deflating balls? You don't know where the line is. So I got on an early call and I'm like, you know, what's the vibe?

Like, you just want to get a sense of other people's jokes to see what's going on. You don't know what they are, yeah. But you can't because you wouldn't want anyone to see your jokes. Because you go, am I the one going too far? That's the funny part. And then you hear someone going too far and you're like, well, no, I want to go further. And now your whole set, the bar rises. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what happened to me like a week ago. I'm like, wait, there is an error in here and this joke? Like, we're going to joke about a guy. who hung himself in prison tragically after killing someone because he had CTE, which is what all these guys are going to get on stage eventually. Like, oh, we're going there. Let's, okay. Now. There were three of them, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was. Yeah, there were. Bridget Monaghan said something today. She did. She said, and she posted something like, you know, I would never. It wasn't, it wasn't saying her, but she said, I would never let people. It's really what you think she'd say. Something like, that's not something I would do. I thought we would never do. stuff like this about and it was like because she gets dragged into it i think from one of your jokes yeah but also jazelle took such a fucking beating that i all i wanted was her to walk out at the end and get a standing over how cool would that have been i'm sure they tried to get her but there's no way that would have been so cool in a fucking karate ghee it's Brazilian with a white belt

she goes it's a white belt it's not about the karate lesson yeah yeah yeah i haven't learned one thing Okay, I have a question, Nikki. Yeah. In the room and your vibe, you're looking at Tom, you're watching him. He's a good sport. They say got mad at Jeff Ross for a second. What's your vibe of how much pain or not pain he was feeling and how much he was expecting these level of jokes or was he surprised?

I heard he was down for whatever. I mean, there was, you know, we all agreed not to make fun. of his kids and the kissing thing. We all were like, we don't want to bring that into it because it, you know, his kids are in, like, middle school. We want to keep them to keep that special between them.

Yeah. And so, we just decided that was kind of the, that was the only one that I was like, hey, we're all kind of collectively not going to do that. And I would go, okay, well, there goes half my act.

Like, so much was about that. I'm kissing the kid. Because that was the only thing I knew about him. Like, When that video came out, I was kind of obsessed with it because my dad used to kiss me on the lips as a kid and I had a bit of, like, it went into my adulthood

where I was like, we can't do this. And I know we do this as a family. And my other friends would be like, you guys kiss them. Like, I related to it. So I had a lot of jokes about that. And then they all went away. But forget what your question was. Well, did you feel like that he was, like some of you might see that he

co-signed for the Giselle jokes? And he had a heads up that where they were going to go to? Dude, it was so rough. Well, I couldn't look at him because I felt like he, even in there's this clip of me online that I'm watching, and he cuts to him and he looks devastated. Like he looks really shell-shot. Like a tight smile.

Yeah, and I thought he would be able to fake it more, but I also, I'm like, oh, wow, I thought he was going to know all of our jokes. I honestly, because he's an EP on it. So I thought he wants to control things. Like, I'm sure he's going to deflate some of our jokes by looking at him and, you know, and making him more.

palatable for him to handle and hold and um but he didn't and he he because even when um jeff made the robert craft joke about like alluding to the right happy ending massages he got up and was like no i didn't hear it happen but i saw him get up i didn't know what he said but i was on stern yesterday and he said that he was like no that's too far or something and that was a real moment say that shit again yeah that's what he said yeah yikes i would because jeff did sit back down and was like did i cross like was that because he tried to handle it and god's green earth would it be about that? What do you mean?

Why is you picking that? Because I think Robert Kraft was a hard get to get in that room. And Tom probably vouched and said they are not going to come after you. You cannot sit in the fucking within a mile radius. No, but that was that he should have communicated better because Jeff would have never ever overset the line that Tom put down. And he would have made it like, he wouldn't have ever. So that wasn't communicated clearly because Jeff was so like conscious about, conscious

about it yeah it was but he was offended dude i really do think that he didn't expect it but i was checking in with jeff beforehand and he was like he's ready to go he wants to do this full throttle let's go no holds bar just not the kids like he can take it and i go joselle and you're like yep he can take it i'm like all right i and if you watch if you watch a gregg geraldo roast compilation that's all you need to do to watch to know what you're in for like it's going to be that level because we're all watching those and we're all striving for that level

of cringy of truth and and harshness and yeah and so for him to to ever be surprised at anything is just bad planning

and you didn't and you thought you were impervious to it or something that's insane everything we know about Tom Brady as an athlete

his preparation is perfectionism and he would scream it so there is a crazy as a fox kind of vibe here oh yeah I mean studying him

yeah well he's very very he's more vulnerable he's more human they call him the human robot he's about the sign of three hundred seventy five million dollar deal to be in the booth so these little asides and jokes it's all been sort of said out loud and a vicious way so i think it's a new day in town for him walking down the street because you kind of feels empathy for him there was that joke he i think it was kevin hard you went eight and nine and you lost your wife and kids oh yeah it was worth going eight and nine for yes there was that too but as far as primality if you're talking about

The male psyche and the male ego and however that went down, we don't know. Yeah. But that's a very, that made me empathetic toward him. I agree. I think he didn't think that angle of like losing your family would be brought in. It is. And the truth is he did it. Like he wasn't, he didn't abandon his kids.

He's like a great father. I hope that he was able to just know that that's not true. But wouldn't you not want that out there just to people that casual viewer goes, oh, he deserved his kids. Now that's what I know about him. Like anyone who doesn't, we defined who he is now. You're so right there. This is opening up a world in which he might face more criticism. I do know he didn't go to the after party.

You know, like. I fucking would go cry in the corner. He would have water. But, you know, it's divorce with like a total net worth between the two of them of about a half billions. And their kids are living online every day. They're 10 and 12 or something like that. So they're seeing all these jokes. I know.

But then so this, they're already acclimated. It's not out of the blue. Yeah, that's a good point. I mean, it's just their life. And that was when I said some savage joke about that I think the eating ass Giselle joke, which I was scared to even look towards him. But then I was just like, you're Tom Brady. I just, I go, you'll be okay.

It's a blur. I literally said that because I'm like, you will. And you did ask. for this and if you don't know how it's interesting because I wonder I'm I'm going on Kim a layer today and my angle is like oh let me read some jokes about me that didn't make it like there's a writer's room and so many jokes of that you know people didn't use about me because I wasn't people thought you know there's more important people to talk about I'll read those and so those are coming in right now and I'm like oh god like and some of them are from my like

close friends who are in that room and I'm like you you see this thing about me that I thought I always saw about myself, like, I'm having that moment, but I think that's, I feel like it's a good move because I was going to read roast jokes that didn't make it and just go harder on people. And I'm like, no, what if I go hard on myself? And it kind of give myself that Tom Brady treatment that I just dished out, but it's hard, man. It's a great idea. But yeah, it is sort of like, you know, what are people perceiving about me that I don't see? It's so gross. Because you don't even, like, they would never, like the things we said about Tom Brady, we wouldn't, you can't even tell him.

him in a, you know, on a Zoom meeting of like, here's the areas that we might go to. Like, no one did that. Right. No one even said, because there are things about me, I know that I just already read coming in where I'm like, I really didn't know anyone thought that about me. Like, I really thought that was just between me and the mirror when I'm alone. And so you can't get roasted. Like, I think I got asked to be roasted once. And it's good money, but I thought I could never handle it. And that's why I never did it. And I only did it as a host. And in the host, you're in the crossfire. And I think some jokes about me got traded because we got that last minute addition.

And it was too juicy. So everyone jumped on Ann Coulter. Oh, God. Yeah. That's great. So she became the punch. And later, I was told, oh, you dodged a few bullets because she was switched. I'm surprised you did that looking.

I didn't, I wasn't really friends with you back then. But knowing you now, I'm so glad you did. But it was, it's brutal. It hurts so much. I'm glad that I kind of got brushed over, but there was like one or two jokes about me that afterwards at the after party, I just was kind of a little bit like processing

and being like, wait, why did he write? Like, was that a joke or was that from a real place? And like, yeah, it stays with you a little bit. So it's, you know, but it's worth it because it's the exposure. If Brady's my friend, he has a shirt on top and underneath he has a T-shirt. And at the end, he unbuns it. And it's just all the topics that,

we're covered. Giselle Traynor asked. So he just goes, knew it. That would, yes. Knew it. But yeah,

I wouldn't want to do that. I mean, the early ones, the first one that was big, was it, was it Chevy Chase? One of the first on the Comedy Central.

And that one, because I don't think Chevy was ready for it. I really saw a real pain and real wish I wasn't here. I think now people would do it. I mean, the next celebrity is going to do it.

Come on, man. You have to think of the phallus. You do. You have to know. You have to know. No one is immune to it. But that's kind of like the person we want to get who thinks there's such hot shit that that. There's nothing there.

It's everyone else can be looked at like that, but not me. And that's, that kind of was, maybe was Tom Brady was feeling. Yeah, that's a good one. But now he knows. Well, Nikki, would you rather be, this is the problem I thought with the Chevy Chase one, was Don Rickles and those guys in the old days, if people know, that was the fun roast. Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra. huge stars. And they were little poxed. 1970s. You know, and they were fun pokes. They're all friends.

Chevy Chase, I think it was strangers, hired assassins. So a guy's like, hi, I'm, you know, whoever. By the way, you're a piece of shit. And now it's too mean because you're like, wait, who's this guy? And so is it worse from strangers or is it worse from your friends? If you were roasting me and it was too mean, I wouldn't even know how to look at you after. I would be. Yeah, I felt way worse roasting Jeff Ross and Bert Kreischer and oh right you said he was disgusting yeah i said he's disgusting to look at it and i was going to lose that joke because i'm just so harsh and my friends were being like yeah it's not really you don't even say what he looks like you just say he's disgusting to look at and i go no but

that's why it's funny it's just it's so that's the reason i like it's not the reason you're it's intentional to be who did the sea lion uh reference like go back to the ocean oh that was like the only woman you'll ever make wet is the one who helps roll you back into the ocean that was your line right yeah yeah Yeah. It's not a great line, and it's just a great joke. And then I had to sit back down next to him and I do love him. And I actually do think he looks better like he's looking good reason. I love Jeff Ross.

And then to tell Bert, I like, oh, I'm such a fan of your joke. Like I obviously, I told Bert later, you know I don't feel that way. And then, but yeah, I think it's strangers, it's easier to be vicious because I don't know them. Like I didn't even meet Tom before the roast. So it was way easier to be sociopathic things to him because I didn't. he's just a person he's just a person on a page to me like he's not real isn't jeff frost kind of a ladies man or you know yeah he does really he he i met him once yeah very young beautiful one with him he's charming and adorable and yeah it's uh but it felt it felt in the past

i wasn't close with jet or as i guess it was five years ago that i did the last one and this time i just i felt a lot i guess i'm growing as a person because i felt way worse this time around saying these jokes than I ever have. It's hard to keep doing before. You know, Tony Hinchcliff did a good job. Coming from the crowd. I think coming from the crowd is a great trick. A, no one expects anything from him.

Most people don't know this. No bar. Walks out of the audience like, I don't even know what he's doing. And I'm a comedian. I'm like, where is he coming on to introduce something? And then he just casually throws a line out about someone. And people are don't like, who is he?

Oh, that's kind of funny. Oh, that's pretty funny. And that's really good. And he gets like Sam Jay and he does, nah, whatever that one was. And then it was like, whoa, where this guy comes from. And then that king, king, king, king, king, rhythm. He was, he was amazing. I was blown away.

That was like such a moment for him. And he had to walk while you're doing it. It was just, yeah, the truth is the people who do the best and those are the ones that are just like working the hardest. Like, talking to people afterwards, it's like, what did you do to prepare this? and we were all just so exhausted. The ones, the people that really killed just. Start a month out and just saying jokes and edit them. Thinking about it obsessively working with people all day long

and then running it around town five times a night. I mean, I did five sets a night for like a week and a half. It's not even the same too because you're like, these people aren't on the dais. You're telling the crowd, picture Tom Brady right here. Picture, you know Tom Segura's, picture him over there. I'm going to say something. And they're like, okay.

It's not quite the same, but you can get a good feel. Yes. Yeah. I have to explain to a room at the laugh factory at 11 p.m. at night, which is mostly Armenians, who drew Bledso is. So for this joke, you need to know, he was injured. And on 2001, and that's what, you know, like, it's just, it's exhausting to set it up. So it was, it was fun to go out and do the roast set for the first time without being like,

okay, guys, here's, I set the stage. But it's, you only, but it's just such a weird set to do just one time. Tom sitting there is the whole big... Changes everything. How many minutes did you do, by the way? I don't know how many it ended up being, but it was planned to be... In the clubs, it was seven.

So at the forum, it was probably like eight, eight and a half with just the larger laughs. But there was, like, jokes I put in last minute of, like, wanting to shoot my boyfriend in the fucking face for a lottery ticket to suck his dick. Like, that was insane. And I added that the day before.

And that was, like, a high-risk situation. Like, there were some jokes that was like, this isn't even really tested. I don't know if this is going to... It's just... I'm so glad it's over. I mean, don't you guys have those things all the time where it's, like, so much pressure?

Well, it's that kind of pressure. I did observe you. There was a wide shot as the show was starting. Oh, there's Nikki, and I thought I saw you go, big sigh. Like, just siking up. You probably could see my side from a wide shot at the forum. A wide shot. I could see.

Maybe they were panning over. I just saw, and I thought, that's exactly the frame of mine I would be in, like, okay, here we go. It's also to be, ha, ha, ha, ha. But we have a job to do. This is part of my career. This audience is enormous.

You don't want to think about it because the way everything is stratified. This is still playing on Netflix. It's trending for months. So there was, you wanted to go, ah, this isn't important. I'm just roasting. Oh, fuck it. But then side, you go, no, this is kind of a big thing. It's the biggest thing I'll ever do.

It's the Super Bowl of comedy. Like the amount of, I will never, literally I'll never have a moment in my career like I had yesterday the day after the roast. There's nothing I can do as a comedian hosting SNL announcing I just had a baby. Maybe if I like start dating Taylor Swift, that's the only amount of text I will get. Like this is the scale of this is unprecedented for a comedian. Like my special will come out. I won't even get this many texts. It won't ever happen again like this. And so yeah, I, but I kind of had a feeling about that. So you can't, there's other opportunities that I've gone, wow, I didn't work hard enough. I didn't understand the scale of that. And I fucking

phoned it in. And I'll never do that. again. But this I just had a feeling, this is going to be pretty big, so you've got to work hard. Oh, this is it. The day you finally ask for that big promotion. You're in front of your mirror with your Starbucks coffee. Be confident. Assertive. Remember eye contact, but also remember to blink. Smile, but not too much. That's weird. What if you aren't any good at your job? What if they demote you instead? Okay, don't be silly. You're smart. You're driven. You're going to be late if you keep talking to the mirror. This promotion is yours.

Go get them. Starbucks. It's never just coffee. Hit pause on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure. Stay three nights this summer at Best Western and get $50 off a future stay. Life's the trip. Make the most of it at

Best Western. Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions. Summer's here and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well-groom lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana? That's a no.

But a banana? That's a yes. A nice tan? Sorry, nope. But a box fan? Happily, yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol and select markets. Product availability

may vary by Regency app for details. What was an opportunity where you felt you phoned it in? I'm just curious. Oh, well, a recent I did, I presented at the creative arts Emmys that was going to be airing on FXX. So I was just like, I had a lot to do that week. And I was like, I'll just do whatever they write for me and punch it up. And I should have had my own angle.

John Mullaney won. I'm presenting it to him. And like, the thing I did for that was just so not fun. Like, I totally blew it. Totally blew it. And I'm like, oh, man, this would have, this is a room of all like the people in the industry. Like, I squandered it. And I go, okay, lesson that I learned 20 years in.

I shouldn't have learned this this late, but never, like, treat these things, treat everything, at least as try the best you did, because you didn't do the best you could do. Are comedians more disciplined now? Because, I mean, no, there was always Jerry Seinfeld, at least for me, in the clubs, and he was super disciplined. But a lot of really good comics would get a set, which is maybe like 30, and then they would do crowd work. And they would just develop a drinking problem, and they would go out across the country.

And then you'd see him five years later. It's the exact same set. And then we're meeting John Malaney and Jim Gaffigan and you and Jerry Sondfeld and learning about this idea of treating it like a college yesterday, like every line and then going into the club night after night. I don't know people did that back then. The successful ones did. Yeah.

There's a component to being funny that is like just how hard you work. Like you can, we all think it's just natural. And it is. that's what gets you into it. But yeah, you can be so much funnier by doing things that aren't funny at all

and are just really just focusing. But I mean, those guys that you listed, like, I don't work like that on my stand-up. After this roast,

I was like, man, if I worked this hard on my stay, that's sort of, you know, at this level that I worked at, I didn't,

I did for my special that is out on HBO now, but it's like, I didn't give enough time. I worked probably about two months on an hour set. And this, I worked for a month

on six minutes. So for, And the next hour, I have to work 10 months ahead of time to get this kind of precision. And that's what I learned from this is like it's, it takes a month to get up the six minutes. And that's going to the club recording, listening to it and changing. And having a script and working with a writer's assistant who's keeping track of, wait, you said this thing on stage, like, who's in the room, jotting things down. Because I don't like listening back to myself. So I just, for my special, I hired someone to like come on the road with me and keep track of what I was saying on stage riffing.

That would be funny. I've never heard that, but that's brilliant. But like, I just was like, why am I not treating my specials like I would treat if I was a feature film? Yeah, a movie. Like, I need help. I want people to punch this up to make it funny. Or I want, you know, this doesn't have to be this solo endeavor that I've always thought

stand-up is that I like about stand-up because it's about control. And I can say, I did this. I didn't have any help. I can take all the credit. But it's so much better if you have help. And it's the, and you can take credit because it's the smart way to it. It's a good way to do it because you're the character. So if someone writes a joke for you, we know kind of what your style is.

I think Kevin Hart, a few years back, I was impressed that he'd go to flappers. Yeah. He'd have just bare ideas, kind of rough ideas. He'd have four or five writers in the room, even though it was packed 200 seats. And he would just do it. And then they would sort of yell out and it goes, what was that thing again? And then he would do it again. Then they would go in the little room.

They'd have that rent it out for the night. They'd compare notes between shows, do this. do this, to do this. So there are ways to treat it, so it will move faster. It doesn't have to take two years to get, say, you need, well, we had Dave Ottel did 35 of stand up and five of, and it was great. I loved his special. God.

We did too. Nikki, you know, the, I think when a Rob Lo roast, it was just a hair early because when you guys get the benefit of TikTok, I wish we had TikTok, Instagram, there's, There's so many things getting passed around after the roast that I don't think we got back then. It was just like, did you see it? Oh, it'll rerun soon. You can watch it in like another month. But A, it's live.

So it makes it more of it. It's a great idea from Ted. And B, it gets passed around. So you're going to see it somehow. You're going to see your set, Tony, whoever, whoever, Tom's best joke about the fucking give me $20 million. I'll admit I did it or whatever. That was wild. Great, great, great.

Yes. Yeah, but I've seen, even seen, our old clips are being re, re-closed, they're coming out. Like, I just saw, no, like, even leading up, their roast clips are just so, um, sticky online. And I've seen a couple of yours, like, they're taking them from now. And like, I'm getting a boost. I'm seeing boost from like old roast of just people, uh, regenerating that stuff. But yeah, I mean, the scale of this, it was everywhere yesterday. It was, Comedy Central is not Netflix, unfortunately. Yeah. Even I did a special on there and it didn't get seen as much as Netflix. Did your

Comedy Central compare to Netflix? I mean, yeah, or HBO. Comedy. Yeah, HBO is not global, so, which is fine because it's like about, okay, you might not be able to tour internationally. I'm okay. The Congo. Yeah, because you know,

I'll go there if they want me. I'll do any, I'll go anywhere. I'll take any gig. So I'm kind of glad that, and I don't like traveling internationally. I get stressed out by custom. So I'm kind of like, okay I'm good not going and HBO has a you know a classiness to it that I really like and they're really selective so um but yeah there's definitely a difference um my comedy

comedy central one Dana couldn't even find honestly no joke I was like Dana check it out he's like I got to get online and then I got to join I couldn't find it you can find it on YouTube I think but that's why that's but that's almost good though because that's why when we're in Vegas and I'm like on you know at the Venetian Dave and I have a um So you two play the Venetian on a regular basis and what's your next gig? I think it's July. We got July. We got September.

July's a little hot. They had me play there. It was 117 the weekend I was there. I think this is the last July, Vegas is going to be functional. What does that mean? Just in terms of climate change. Like it's getting dicey. So this is one of the last summers, I think, that town will be inhabitable.

But actually, it's kind of all indoors. at this point. And we'll be there. Yeah, and it's still, the crowd is wilted. That's the problem. Yeah,

they've been out in the sub, but they're, it's such a fun show. But that's why I'm always like, Dave, well, you just do bits from that comedy set. Like,

I know them. And you can because no one saw it. And I feel the same way about some stuff in the past. And I hate it because you go, God, I did it. And I technically,

I'm not supposed to use them, but I'm like, but you can again. I work so hard on it. And then I'm like, and who saw it? And then you do one in anywhere else. and you go, oh, these people saw it.

Yeah, yeah. And it feels like I did it. Shame. But you know what? But with you're the kind of, you have the kind of jokes that you want to hear again and again. There's like only a handful of comedians who you want.

Same with you, Dana. Like this, that you want to see bits again. Like that it's not just the element of surprise that makes it funny. I think a lot of my jokes are like, it's, oh, it's that twist of phrase, turn a phrase at the end. And once you hear it, it's like the, you know, the rabbits out of the hat. But for you guys, I think I want to hear.

stuff over and over. Well, I don't know. Last time you saw me, I didn't have anything. I just had bare notes. Oh, my God, you were so funny. Last time I saw you was such a treat. I'm just doing, you know, I kind of am a sketch player at a heart. So then if I do, say, Paul McCartney and the audience is hot, I'll just keep going.

Yeah. But I was interested in you guys on the road. So who, do you flip a coin? Who closes? Oh, Dave closes. I don't want to touch that. Because he's David Spade. Yeah, he's fucking David Spade.

He's my favorite comedian. I like, I start sounding like him by the end of the week. Like, that's the joy of working with him is like I absorb his funniness a little bit. And I can spin it like I totally steal his like cadence, not even intentionally. You know, it's like when Madonna starts sounding British. Like you just hang out enough and you just can't help but be funnier around him. And then I get to, it's, you know, when you're on the road, you just like, after you get off stage, I have to go do a meet and greed. And I'm kind of alone.

And, but this, after I get off stage, I just get to go watch my favorite comedian and, like, they're doing stuff that I requested. Like, I get to put in requests. And I look at Nikki and mention her half the time. Yeah. And she likes a joke. I look over and go, okay. It's so fun. And we go out to dinner beforehand.

And it's just a great weekend. It makes it a weekend I look forward to. Same. And we do it about four or five times a year. Yeah. When you're solo on the road, really solo, yeah, it's a little lonely. You're in the, the day of the hotel is so long. and what do I do? So if you do have another person there,

the whole energy you come out. I remember playing, there was playing a big casino with Dennis and it was starting at eight. And it's one of those things where they come in later. But we picked out the curtain and all the chairs were empty.

It was like 758. And he goes, Christ thanks, Carvey. Are we three dog night all this? It's like, so Dennis. Then they rush in. They're finishing their drinks and they rush in and we were okay.

But at that moment, you know, all right, we got to let Nikki go. So you got Jimmy Kimmel tonight. What's your first line? You sit down, your first joke. I'll probably, like I've been, I'll probably thank him for sending me an email because he, that'll get us into some areas.

And I really do want to thank him because he wrote me a really nice email when he didn't need to and he's a busy man. So I'll probably do that. Engratiate myself. Ingratiation, good. Maybe talk about my spray tan something. I don't know.

No, I always comment on, just try to get it, kick it off. Whatever's going on to settle in. Just settle in something. Yeah. Yeah. Make a joke about how I'm trying to dress like duly, but like the outfit I'm wearing. I just, I'm who do I think I am? Something like that.

Love it. Okay. I'm going to set my VCR. I watched you last night, Spade on Kimmel. I guess you were on like a month ago or something like that. And I watched your set to like be inspired because you are always so great on those. And I watched you before Howard too. I did Howard yesterday.

and I was like, what's the vibe I want to go into with Howard? Like, my ideal Howard is a spade Howard. And I didn't nail that, but I definitely listened to you beforehand to, like, get in the right state of mind. So all those take work. Does the talk shows you got to, those are things you've got to plan out a little bit. Absolutely. You don't realize that.

You got to, you can't just flounder and just go, I'm so interesting. You're like, nope. You got to have a plan and learn that the hard way as well. Won't do that again. I'll just leave it as the business side of my head. My final comment is, that you're still penetrating the market, not a sexual bond, and you're growing your brand. And I do think this special, coupled with the roast and the spot you're in and how you

killed. So it's just kind of cool. You are like your own company, and it's just doing very well. I just want to say that. Thank you, Dana. That means so much to me. And like, just, yeah, the fact that I know both of you is true. I said it on Tiger Belly yesterday is an achievement of my career, is like getting to know. Well, you were my favorite. David had told you that because David, we'd go to dinners and stuff and people would visit. And then you were always the easiest person to talk to.

I got to go to dinner with you once. And then we had such a great talk. And then, yeah, I felt like I, like, was friends with you afterwards. It just took one of the dinner. And it was amazing. That was one of the best nights of my life.

Like, it was so cool. Well, I'd love to do it again. I would too. It felt like it today. Thank you guys for having me. Pleasure. Bye, sweetheart.

Enjoy to see. Bye, guys. Enjoy yourself. Bye. Bye. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe. Leave a like or review.

All the stuff, smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcast. Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey. Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.