Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - RE-RELEASE - Rob Schneider

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

Part 1 of a 2-parter with Rob coming to David's house!

Dana, one of our old colleagues from S&L is coming on. We're revisiting Rob Schneider. Yes, who I've known since he was 20 years of age. Yeah, you knew him in the Bay Area before I knew him. Early stand-up, and I picked him up once, and we went to a gig. I think it was called Foo Bars in the East Bay. Oh, yeah, hilarious. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so, yeah, he's great. Give me a ride. kind of right i know he's known for movies like grown-ups the hot chick and uh well duce bigelow dukego one and two you know and the animal were big hits oh the animal's big yeah and then he's going to be in grown-ups with david benchwarmers we're hearing as well remember that one benchwormers benchwarmer so he's well uh we he we had a lot of laughs with him and And this is a two-parter, so here is part one of Rob Schneider. This is all, this is great, you're in here.

These are just really fun because I can get a sense of you, you know, like if something's wrong or you're bored, you're suppressing a yawn. Your eyes darting. That face that says, why did I say yes? No, I, can we start it? We're already going. Oh, we're already halfway done. Wait, can I use a bathroom? We're almost done.

One last question for Rob. I got to go to the back. I'll be back in an hour. I'll deal with this guy. There's one down here, dude. So many thoughts are flying through my head. Go to bathroom 38. It's straight across.

So many thoughts are flying through my head. You just have to field questions. It's easier. I'll be here. You know, I'll wait for Dana to come back. I do. Hurry, Dana. No, the thing about you, David,

was you had, unlike me, I would go to life and, like, there was like a very Asian thing, very Chinese thing. When I worked, I did a movie with Jean-Claude Van Damme in China. It was a different thing. And this is going to come back to you eventually. But what happened was if there was a, in the Western world, if there is a problem, you look at it and go, okay, well, these are the tools we need. This is how long it's going to take.

And these are the amount of people we're going to get. Now, in China, it was the exact opposite. They'd run to a place. with the people that they had, figured out what the problem was there and used the tools that they could. So it was, in other words, it was like a lot of things blowing up on set,

you know? And like, you know, the generator or whatever getting rained on and blowing up. And so, but you figured out things quicker. Like, for instance, you went like when I first met David at an acting class here in town, you kind of figured out where the good looking girls,

who the good looking girls were. And who, and then you, also had like instead of like, you know, when I moved down here, I moved into like a dump. And then like you buy like the one piece of furniture. And then I went to your house and you had a scam worked out way ahead of time, which is like, you moved in with a really good looking older woman. You just rented a room in her house. And the place was tricked out already.

Oh, right. She already had a beautiful couch. She had like, I mean, first of all, a couch was like a big deal to me. Yeah. And then she had stuff on the walls. She had nothing on the walls. She had, you know, refrigerator. And you just worked out as delicate situation with her.

And I went like, holy shit, I would have never figured that out. It was, I was looking at the paper. That's our David. I was looking at the paper for places to live. And on my own, I couldn't click and get one. And it was too expensive. And then hers was $400, but she already had a two-bedroom. So I just went and met random people.

Yeah. And then it was in Toluca Lake and it had a room. She had the big room and she had the whole place beautifully done. I would just walk in, skim through the kitchen. You could keep stuff in the fridge. She was very nice. And it's go in my room. So that's all I needed.

I had a room with a bed and then a little desk and then a TV in the corner so I could write, pick up the phone, hear your messages, and then sleep. So that's all I needed. But she was also a very attractive. She was random. Older woman. And when I say older, I mean, she was 30, which was like, for us. Yeah. That was like a crazy old girl.

It was like Mrs. Robinson. Yeah. And we, and I never even flirted with it. And I like, how many figured this out? But she was too out of my league, too pretty. She was an actress. and she was five years older than us, six years, seven years old.

Yeah, which is a huge. Which is huge. Big jump. I could, it was weird to talk to girls our age. We had no confidence back then, and we were just like, and she was so great. But then I think the day I left, she's like, oh, you know, we never dated. Wow. And I was like, you could have said something.

I was dated there 11 years. Well, you know what? I said they're all during SNL. Mary Lou Henner, who we're talking about. said to me, can I set the scene for 30 seconds? You know I do this for the audience. So this is a trifect of people who have known each other for a long time. We'll talk about Rob and I doing stand-up in San Francisco in the early days' form.

He was like at eighth grade. I don't know, but he was always great. And then how I intersected with you at Neon's movie, we said in the podcast. And then you two hooking up, Dennis Miller gets in there. Next week you know, I get on SNL. And then here come Schneider and Spade. I just wanted to set the table that we've known each other a long time. Yeah, there was a thing, but because we were on, I mean, I want to get to the Dana track of it all.

I'm going to interview you guys. But you had a way of figure things out. And then what I, one thing is I've been listening to the podcast was the psychological makeup that for people who get, for comedians, who get on SNL. And like I've been like deep into this kind of, well I would call it like emotional damaged people I consider myself it's like yeah

it's like it's got to be one parent who's missing unavailable either physically or emotionally and another one trying to make up for it who's also got a problem because she's with somebody who's emotionally and physically not available and so that was the kind of the click Wow that was mine exactly there is something about that like you know

who's not there. And it's just depending on who, you know? Like, and then that other parent tries to make up for it and can never completely. But at the same time, like, also the youngest person in the family, you know, there's the thing about the youth or, you know, sometimes it's an older one who felt like they had to clean up for everybody else in the family. There's a weird thing, though, where like, you know, there was missing something, so you felt like you had to go out in the world and try to get it. So gross, but pretty accurate. And then that begets resiliency. If you have dysfunctional parents, you become the adult in a way, and then show business, which is in our emotionally violent sport. Because I want to ask you guys, like, you bomb that night or an S&O person's

there and you don't do well. You just go through a landfill, and then it's a Darwinian thing, like who survives the Game of Thrones of Early Standup? How do you not give up? Yes. Gitz, makes friends, other people up the food chain, recognized, in your case, your guys stood out from all the young comedians on a tier below me and for your writing and everything else. And, like, Like, how did you deal, Rob, so you, how did you fight through this or were you, like, how did you get on Saturday? I think it was a combination of extremely vulnerable and extremely hypersensitive. I remember when I was in second grade, because, you know, my mom's was Filipino, she just recently passed away, Asian and a really tough war survivor. And she was, and I've, through therapy, through Dr. Gabor Mate, who's an amazing Hungarian therapist, is like,

It's like he would call it generational trauma. In other words, that's passed on to you. I didn't even realize about this. But we would eat weird things. And my friends wouldn't want to, they wouldn't come over to the house twice. Once you see, like, you know, somebody's mom sucking the eyes out of a fish

and crunching it in front of them. Literally? They'll come back for that second meal. That's it. So that's the, and so that's the way I grew up. So it would be like, you know, you go over your other friends. There weren't like heads.

You don't go to a place. There's like, you know, the head of a fish there. or the head of the shrimp and stuff. But I loved that, but it was embarrassing. Because you were taught to love it and you didn't even know what you're eating. Is it okay for you right now to do your mom, explaining that to your friends? It is. Now I can't.

How she sounded. I'm in my faith. But, and it was this, it's very harsh. That's what I was doing, his mom. It was literally like my whole child was, Robert. It was just literally like just, if not physically, emotionally kind of jumping back. But I remember being in second grade, being at the tide pools, because that's what you do if you're a California kid.

Yeah. You're, you're, they don't, they don't take you to the zoo. It's cheaper to just go to like the ocean and see if there's anything over there. Pacifica. And I went to the tide pool and then I remember picking up one of these things that we would eat, you know, it would be an Asian thing like a little clam or something. And I said, this smells good. And I remember the tears and I remember the two years, oh, Robert, that's disgusting.

Put it down. And that's when I realized he said, at seven years old, I said, I am way more sensitive than any the other kids in my in my class, and that's my weakness. Yeah. And I knew that right then. And then it took 20 years to realize, well, that's also your strength. So it's a combination of the two things. Extreme sensitivity, but also, like, you know, and my parents were like, you know,

was being raised by 12-year-olds. You know, my mother first, because that was when her trauma happened, when, you know, in the Philippines and the Japanese came over, and both her brothers were murdered by the Japanese. And so that trauma from that time, she would, whenever she had problems, she would revert to that because that was her survival mechanism. So when she was mad at my dad, I remember coming home and seeing every glass, every plate in the whole house that she could reach on the floor broken. And my brother would just go, hey, you got to wear your shoes today in the house. Wow.

And how old were you like at that point when you see the broken glass? Like six, seven, eight? Yeah, like the young. Really, really, of an impressionable time. Impressionable. That doesn't never get. The childhood fucks with you. And you laugh at it.

And then the dad would come home. Marvin would come home. And the mature guy would come home. And he, would everything my mom couldn't reach, he would break. And so we'd come home and you'd just see nothing but broken stuff. And it's like,

this is normal. It didn't happen every day. But there was that, that was representative of like, whoa. There's a landmine here. So, but it did make you tough. And I remember like going back to stand up.

When you're, I just remember the sensation of bombing. And I said, okay, this has to be instructional. And this is kind of thing being tough. And this is you in high school, right? High school, yeah.

Bombing, because it's like, you know, you, David, you can relate to this. Seriously, like, when you're performing and you don't, you're not an adult, people are concerned about you. You're being in a club. There's alcohol. They're not relaxed. And they have to be relaxed to watch and be able to. And so I just remember eating it so hard one time, bombing on stage, the physical, the physical feeling

of it. And I said, okay, remember what this is. As I was walking off stage, the only thing I could describe it as, it felt like my ears were melting off of my head. Yeah. Sometimes when I get up, when it's such a bomb, it feels like the hurt locker where a bomb was on. She's like, e-e-e, and everyone's talking to me. You can't see the mouth. You're just walking off going, because you're thinking of so many things.

What went wrong? What was going on? And now everyone's repelled from you because you bombed and they don't want to be near you. But I didn't quit. And I was saying it was like, officer and a gentleman, I got nowhere else to go. I didn't really, I didn't have any other plan. Once I started in stand-up, I quit school, and then I go, I have to keep doing this because I'm not good at anything.

But it's instructional, though, because at the same time, what I didn't realize, and now is it realized, you know, through years of therapy. Like, I feel like I'm Charles Groden. By the way, when did you start? I'm stealing your therapy because I- Therapy at 15. No, no, no, 15 therapy? Oh, God, on and off for years, but the last few years, pretty good.

All right, so go back. You said Charles Groden? Charles Groden would be, when you talk to him, he talked to you like he said, he basically treated everybody like they were just getting out of drug rehab, you know? So every conversation, every word was kind of like this, you know. So very gentle so that everybody's so, and it's just, it's too much, you know. But. Well, when did you talk with Charles Grotin? I'm sorry.

Oh, no, Charles Grohl. Well, I remember he had a talk show there. Oh, you went on. MSNBC, one of those seasons. He had one of those guys. He was like a therapist. This is too much therapy. Phyllis Diller is here.

I didn't have for a while. The idea of it, though, is instructional now that I think about it, because you do have to melt away the ego. You have to kind of start from zero to do stand-up. To risk yourself, to risk humiliation. You've got to let go of that ego and this stuff. I'm sure we all didn't have much ego, though. Huh? We all didn't have much ego then.

I mean, it was more like I didn't think I was a good stand-up. I was trying to be a good one. And I was sort of all broken down to the bits anyway. So any elevation we got to, there's a point when Rob and I were pretty much from Dave Becky, the guys have booked like the improv stuff, were pretty much two of the best middles out there, getting, I think, a thousand each. That was a lot for seven shows. They don't get that now.

Yeah. You could, they'd fly you somewhere. Yeah. And they put you in the condo. We got that. And he was like, they'd pay you as much as $1,500 or $1,500 a weekend. Wait, what? Which was crazy.

You got $1. I think I capped out of $1,000. And that's when we got S&L because we were friendly. We were friendly with Drake Sather. We knew maybe Apatow, Sandler. There were some guys in the valley doing the valley improv and all that. And then when we got S&L. We never had more.

We never were good headlines, but we were monster middles. Yeah. We didn't realize how hard. You both open for me. I'll say at the end of the podcast, who was the hardest guy to follow? We actually have a clip in there. I'm going to say, I was one of a second go back to the ego thing because I think that's really interesting. Did you guys have a sense, even if it was here and there, like a sneaky ego, or kind of like, I think I might be able to do this.

Like maybe you were the funny guy in seventh grade or you did a book report and they laughed. That's the problem. You might have had a little bit of a sneaky ego of like, I think I can do this. This is one thing I would respectfully disagree with you on that day. It's gigantic ego. It's fragile and extreme sensitivity, extreme vulnerability. and that combination is show business. It's such a horror show.

It is because what it is, but what happens is, once you have that monster thing that happened, like for me it was in high school where all of a sudden I was the funny guy and then everything changed. Like girls who would never look at me, and then that was it, that's my end.

So that was the one kernel I would keep you going because he said, this can really work. I know I can do this. I murder with my friends. And so that combination of that. And then so when you're bombing, and stuff, you go, this could work, this could work.

Right. But you're not with your friends anymore, and that's the way people say, I'm the funniest guy at my office. When you go to a stage where no one knows. Hard to explain that to the audience, though. Seriously. Well, I think it's part of the charisma, and I think with you guys, too, is sort of like that likeability comes from the vulnerability, but get out of the way, I'm the shit.

You know, it's like Elvis Presley, which you played in Hawaii or something. Yeah. Well, I want to get to that in a second. But I do think the charisma, because. Because there were alpha male comics that were like bludgeoning the audience and killing with just sort of energy and energy and crowd work and stuff. And they didn't go as far as the sensitive guys who also could be strong. And also you guys are both great writers. We'll get to that later.

I hate to say that, but you really were. We're getting to nothing now. Everything's later. You had to recognize. To be successful. Part two. I did recognize that when I was doing stand-up and, you know, kind of you have. a couple of good moments or whatever, some joke.

But then you see people who, you know, and I didn't have the confidence, and sometimes you kind of get a little of it. But then you see people who are really confident and not talented. You had to recognize, and I didn't understand that. Yeah. That didn't make sense to me. It's like, why Zach got confident?

And they're headliners, and you're like, confident and not talented. Yeah. And you had to recognize, okay, what's the difference? How am I going to make it? You walk into a place in 1982, 83. There's 30 comics ago. But I did recognize just in those.

part of the strength that I did get from my, you know, my violent mother was like, how are you going to make it? How am I going to make it? And these guys probably aren't. What's going to be the difference? Yeah. I would make that thought. Yeah, yeah. You know, I got to make, I got to work hard on these guys. And also, I got to get rid of anything in my act that they're talking about. Yeah, that's the hard part. If you, the more stuff you have, a side note about yourself, least likely it's going to bump with someone else. Because when I go up and the guy and I'm like a middle in the headline, it goes, you're going before me? Yeah. And he goes, okay, don't do anything. at Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, driving. And I go, that's my fucking whole act. So I'm not allowed to do because it bumps with his, which is something that happens.

The other switch for me and Rob is jumping ahead. After us and out, we could headline and we weren't quite ready. And the biggest thing about headlining for me that was harder was, A, following a good middle like a Rob, and then B, the checks going out. The people at home don't know that when you're doing an hour set or even 45, around 25 or 30 minutes the checks go down and that means everyone needs to pay so they can get them out. Oh, they're doing math.

And everyone stops laughing. They just go look at their check and go, hey, who had two coax? Did you have the curly fries? What's 10% of 179? What's 3% of? And then everyone's like talking. And then you go, wait, that joke usually kills it.

And people never warn me, oh, the checks go out right about then. And there's some comics that say, don't put the checks out until I'm off, which is it fucks the waiters over because, you know, I never say that. is you got, if you can get through that hump, then you're good again. Yeah, if you're killing.

When you hit that hole and you go, oh, no, the checks went out my head. I see someone like Sloan motion going, oh, let me get my visa. I go, oh my God, everyone's getting them right now and no one's listening. And then you got to bring them back for your closer. You got to somehow keep them around.

It's warfare. I got out of standing for 20 years because of that. Because I just like, I respect the yard form too much to do it. If you're not doing it all the time and I didn't want to eat it and blah, blah. And I did like, I said, if I'm going to do this, I got to do it full time.

And when people pay, you don't want to rip them off by doing like a high shot. Yeah, I don't want to feel, I don't want to do Celebrity Victory Lab. So I had to jump back into it hard. And I did. And it's been like, now I'm ready to get out of it again. You know, the name my tour is Celebrity Victory Lab. So I feel so stupid. Well, what happens is it.

So you guys, you guys are just middle. So you have like a 30 when you got on. 20. 20. Okay. Let's be honest. I'm trying to be generous. I'm a nice guy.

25. Okay. You had 15. You had 10 minutes. Anyway. And some filler. So then you get on SNL and you become the bad boys of comedy and you both have this great run in the 90s on SNL. Okay.

And then all of a sudden you're being offered, can you go do an hour at a college for like 20 grand or 15 grand? But you don't have it. So that was the- I broke. At a certain point, I stopped to understand it. But I remember where it was. It's like 1990. It was 4,000 people in Milwaukee.

You're famous now. Now I'm famous. Yeah. And I never had the thing where people are paying to see you before and they're yelling out stuff that, you know. They're yelling at And during the day During the day It's also like

So they're sober Well they're not Well this is Milwaukee So they're drinking during the day They're all And then they do You do the show And I got

I stumbled And it got through it And it was like I gritted it out And then there's two shows that day Because they're paying You a lot of money There's two shows

And then I walk out there And I look and I go It the most frightening thing It's the same No Oh no And I got to it again. The same crowd. I can't pull it off. Grotesque. What did you do? I can't go on.

I just, I mentally broke. You know, it's like a nightmare. No, but it's like, you know, from doing stand-up so much times, you know, when you're having the middle of like a set that ain't the best one. Oh, yeah. And you just, you just, you get through it because you're, you know, you're like a, you can go into that robot mode. And I remember talking like, it's a weird thing. You can show business, you show up at a place and I have made. And I, you're like this too, Dan. And you'd say, what experience can I get out of this particular situation? And I do that.

So I was on some show. I forget it whether it was Leno or Letterman or one of those things. And there's this Asian violinist. She's like famous. I'm sorry I forget her name now. But I said, how many days a year do you feel like on, on? And she said, well, I work 250, do 250 dates a year. I said, how many of those dates would you guess?

Which she felt like at the top of her name. Good question. Do you know how many she said? I'm going to say two. Yeah. I got it? Shut up. I was going to say two 40s.

She said two? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Because then you know exactly the little tiny thing. It's like, because when I, first of all, Dana was the guy in San Francisco. There's two guys that, like, that were, like, so talented that Hollywood came up. There was Robin Williams and Dana Carter were so talented. You don't mind me saying. It's just a fact.

You were famous before you were famous. They were so talented that Hollywood started coming up looking at. for it. Well, there's got to be there making them up here. There's more, but we'll, okay, I guess we'll take that guy. And it was just like, I was like the third tier of those guys. Wow, all right. Well, then he's young enough. Maybe he'll turn this up.

But Dana would have lines around the block. And, you know, performing for open mics, you don't really get the, that audience. You can't really tell if your material kills or not whatever. But when you're open for Dana Carvey, you have a chance to have a real audience who's there for comedy. Good comedy crowd. Who's excited about comedy. Dana used to part of his eye, he used to be able to do stuff

about people waiting in line for his next show and that was some of the funniest stuff in the show because it was like at the other cafe there was like an open window You can see them to the window you see them waiting to come in. Other comedians, we were just sit in the back and just watch and go like, okay

I said, well we're good but we can't do that. Well, I had the same thing with Robin. I just kept thinking I got to get better every time he'd come up and levitate the Holy City Zoo and I was starting in college So by the time you saw me, Rob, I had gotten, other cafe opened in 79, and that's sort of where I started to develop. Hey, the first time I did a character for 30 seconds, it wasn't me. I was terrified.

So by the time I, that club really, really saved me. Because, you know, you play the honky tonk bars, cowboy bars with the blender going. Yeah. And your act gets bluer and louder. But that was like a, it was a 60-seater. It was a little hippies in there. Is it a heavy? 70?

It's the difference. between like liberals in San Francisco in the 60s and 70s, which are like question authority. Right. And they'd go with you. And if you were taking more artistic license, and sometimes like Grace Slick would be in the audience. You know, you'd have like, it was like,

there were these cool, kind of the, what I loved about San Francisco was a bohemian vibe. Yes. And which was artistic and were supporting you like those, you know, the great, you know, Ferlandgetti and the, you know, the City Lights bookstore. It was a place you go, they printed their own books.

So San Francisco had that vibe at that time. It still had it. It was eclectic, cool neighborhood. And now it's gone. But that was a really, now it's not toned. Have you been to the gun down saloon there? It's not bad. It lasted.

But that was a place where they did reward you for going further. Topical. Yes. And would go. And so that was the perfect place. Yeah. For that. And you really did get a chance to see.

And you were like, you were levitating on stage. It was just you were floating. And then the characters that you would do, you'd pummel an audience. audience. They were literally exhausted leaving. Rape and pillage. Geez, Louise, I'm loving this podcast. We should take their time. Let's not make this a rushy one.

Let's talk about it. But when you appeared, because I want to throw out some names, because it's nostalgic. So Rob and I came up from the San Francisco comedy scene, which you, you know, so. And the comedy, let me just interrupt one second. And the comedy, the big thing back then was, if you're a comic then, was the San Francisco comedy competition. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And you didn't want to win it, but you wanted to get top five. What was the newspaper called? But Dana would do this thing, and he told me this. Dana was like, Dana gave me nuggets, which I held to this day. Because, and it really was, and he used to drive to the, I'll never forget this, when you drove to the comedy competition, because that was a lot of pressure, and the talent scouts were coming, and it was a big effing deal. Robin Williams, that was, and this was the time where it was like, it was big.

You would perform, like, 1,500 people. It was that big the competition. And you go through weeks of rounds to get to the finals. And then you would, and he told me, said that Dana said that on the way to the place, he would listen to the Beatles, it's getting better all the time. Yeah. A little better. What a weird out of it. Isn't that kind of cool?

It's a little sexy. No, but he, because, and Dana would say things like this. I need to feel funny before I go on stage. No one told me that. He had to feel silly. He got himself in the place. So there was a methodology. He didn't just do it because sometimes you just.

see the after effect. Like we didn't see the college years and working your way up and watching Rob and having to follow Robin. We just saw, the audience just sees what they see. So, but to learn the craft and to learn at the high level that you were at and just as a young man watching it, it's like, okay, that's how you do this. That was very instructional. And it, it prepares you for S&L in a way. I mean, there's people who came up through groundlings and stuff, which kind of take their sketch and put it on. Standup is so rough and tumble. You have to be so tough that on SNL, all you're trying to do, and it took me, I think, 80 shows is to quiet that voice in the back of your head saying, this isn't going well. I missed that line.

Oh, I dropped that. Dress was better. I didn't commit like I did it dress. And so I wonder where you came in and when you felt like you got in the groove with SNL. Like, were you out of the box or 40 shows? We did four shows in the 8990 season. They brought us in, which was like, it was wonderfully, it was just amazing to just be there. You were like somebody, you know, Bernie Brilstein, who was, you know, talent manager, extraordinaire, went to the stars. And he was also, but he would also give you to, look, look, one is going to not let you, one, you're going to have to wait. And that's part of it is you wait, so it lets you know that you, you, you were less important, but not in a bad way,

but it's like, you got to know that there's a, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And that you're And so you, So this is a famous talent manager. Also, Managed Belushi and Aqury and telling you this. And Lorne. Listen. And more.

It's a whole lot. So the thing about it was like, I mean, it actually, Lauren. Managed everybody. His whole Lorne Michaels, the famous, you know, comedy and, you know, legend who, you know, launch his careers would, would also have his system make it a little easier. So he would rather just, if you were in the Brillstein camp, that was like, you know, minor league ball until you get a chance to get him there. But I remember, like, the night that we audition at the improv. And by that time, I was hardened and I was ready to go.

And I had a monster set to do. Because I had a monster. I remember, like, because Jay Leno, Bob Fisher, our old manager. Bob Fisher was another talent manager in the San Francisco seat. Who identified, could identify talent. So you're going to make it, and I'm never wrong. It's just nice to hear that. Wow.

That's nice to hear. Yeah. Did you have a surefire when you auditioned? Like a bit that. kind of always killed. Elvis on a fish hook? Yes. Did you share that with our listeners?

I had stuff. I'll give you one of his. Okay. Well, let's go ahead. Elvis on a fish. Well, it's like, it's like, uh, I forget the exact thing, but it was a, it was a thing where you could act it out, where you did an impression and could act it out. And it was an interesting idea.

Because you did a really good Elvis. Yeah, so I did like, I was, um, you know, Elvis is what, when I first, before, you know, I was always into Monty Python. And by the time Saturday Night Live came in, it was over. I was into it. Cheech and Chong, it was over with. I was in this for life. And but the thing that for performing,

the guy that was, I was turned on by most as a performer was Elvis. Just because of like, such a stud. You know, the album, 100 million fans can't be wrong. Unreal. He's like, well, that's true.

It's unreal. No. That's like an entire population of Western culture, of Western society. And so what, and then his performance and his, you know, His, you know, everything. Everything.

And you played Tiny Elvis. Oh, yeah. So I would literally just sing Elvis songs and try to get his moves and stuff. Can you be? I know you're kind of shot. Give me a little bit. Get on the mic. Hold me close.

Hold me tired. Make me thrill with delight. When me more I stand from the star, I don't want you. I need you. I love you. Well, oh. And then he would do this. Oh my God.

So he was just like, Killer. He dug deep for that. That was a gem. That was good. That was good. They would lose their, you know, I mean, and they go crazy. They would go nuts.

They go crazy when you would say you'd do it now or never. I remember watching. And I did that at high school and after practice. And then it just murdered so hard that I was like, that was it. Can I say one thing right here? You kind of around in here, you look like Elvis. You have a little bit of an Elvis. There's a little bit of cheeks in your mouth.

Thank you. It's a little something that. kind of worked. So when I put the fake sideburns on and I had the jumpsuit on, even at 115 pounds, my wrestling weight. And they called you Tiny Elvis? And it was Tiny Elvis. And it was tiny Elvis. And it murdered because people, it was a really good performance. The difference is a really good

impression performed really well, seriously. Yeah. Yeah. That commitment to it. It's just like when Napoleon Dynamite, that dance he does. It's really funny, but he's really committing to it and it's really good. So that's the combination of stuff. And then it's just naturally, if you're naturally funny, then people are like, laughing at it. But when you went to Japan to do Elvis for a couple months. It was a complete, but were you playing, you were playing a serious Elvis? Were you adding jokes? I mean, first of all,

yeah, I got the phone call and that's the time I was living in an apartment. This is on a month. $200 a month. Basically what happened was, I was living in a place and it was just a hole in the wall, but what happened was, Milton Abel, the comedium ceremony says, I wrote his name down. I wrote down Milt Aval because I wanted to give some props to our, and he's an awesome guy, really good comedian. He had jokes that I remember to this day, like, you know what somebody He tries to hand you a flyer and I go, no, you throw it away. And it's just that little, good little one line. I wish I would have thought of that.

And so I lived, I moved into this place. He said, it's $200 a month, blah, blah, blah, blah. The first month I was in there, the, the 85-year-old Russian landlord who owned the place. He said, so I ain't up, and then I had one bowl. Can we hear the landlord? That's going to be funny already. This is the old guy who owns the place and he lives there. And it says, it's a shithole.

The whole place is, like, been painted once in the 50s. But I don't need it. I just literally put a mattress. in there, just the one mattress, and then this is it. I'm just going to do stand-up and the right coffee. It was right down the street from Fillmore, his coffee shop. This is perfect. So I pay the, she said, only takes cash.

So $200, perfect. And then I remember, like, one of those, I only had one light, and it was like a 30-foot ceiling. So you know what those old places are subdivided, subdivided, subdivided, sub-divided, and there used to be an old giant Victorian in the day, and then they turn it into like, you know, 13 apartments or whatever. Yeah. And so the one bulb that was at the ceiling, the one light that I had. I didn't even have a lamp.

It went out. And it was like, well, I got to have that. You know, I had my one light. You need a light. I got to have a light. So, you know, I don't know where to go and melt to sleep. But I said, well, I just go. I knock on the guy's door.

The landlord. And I go, well, you know, the lights out. What I said, okay, I'm going to have to get down and get the ladder. I got downstairs to get a ladder. I come up. And then he came up. You know, and you just, I'm just, I'm just a dummy because. it's like, I'm watching an 80,

and then I realized, I'm watching an 85-year-old man on a 20-foot ladder climbing up to change a light bulb. And I was like, ah, and I'm watching, and then I thought, well, he's already up there. Let him just get it. He knows what he's doing.

He can spot him. And it comes down and said, I don't feel so good. I don't feel good. I've never felt like this. Really? I don't know what to tell you. You know, he's a week later, he's dead.

Oh, my God. Died a week later. And the thing was, though, that he had no living relatives in anything and so nobody was asking for rent so all of a sudden I went from $200 a month to nothing to zero. I had nothing. So I was living in a place

for rent free. Did you push him off your floor at all? I think I may change in the life may have killed. I don't know but I did realize like I should not have an 85 year old guy changing the ball. It's weak in a burning. But anyway so the landlord dies. Now does this lead to Japan. So what happened was I get a phone call from

Another funny voice. Mark. Mark. Just Mark. This marketing funny voice to eat. The Filipino community, whether you're half Filipino or whatever. Right. There's a small community of people. And they try to like, you know, because they know that the Filipinos, they'll work hard and they'll show up because otherwise you'll be, you've been. Great nurses.

You do work hard. They'll beat the shit out of it. It's been beat into you. You better work hard. You better show up. If you say this, you got to do this. And yeah, yeah, right. And so you can depend on Filipinos.

Like at the end of the day, like, if you do get a Filipino to come over to your house while you're moving, they'll move till the, you know, all day. Great. You know, and if you have somebody, like, they'll take your blood pressure. Yeah, they'll mark that. So I get a call from him, and he says, hey, listen, you do Elvis, right? And he's like, he's calling me nine in the morning,

which I just want to sleep with like four. You do Elvis, right? You do you sing Elvis, right? Good, good, good. He saw me do the Elvis and knew about it in high school. And so I said, yeah, yeah. He said, do you know the song? I said, I know, I know a couple, like three.

So why? Why? Why? We said, well, we just lost our Elvis impersonator. And I said, what do you mean you lost? Well, in Japan, they were sending, a band for a new club that's opening and he said, can you go to Japan

to do Elvis? And I said, listen, I only know like three songs and I don't really, it's not really serious you know, and I don't really So I call Bob Fisher and Bob says, do it, you'll tell the story and let him in one day. And so, and I call Mark, and I realize

I don't even have a passport. You know, I've never like, you know, I think I left the country when I was a little like 13 with my parents. One of those cheapy European tours where you go on a bus and and they take you to the worst worst hotels in all of Europe so that was it

so I had to get a say I don't have passport I can't go Can you use the dead Russian landlord's passport I'm just in a drawer I think where does this go He said he said just go to the This Japanese woman she's just go to Japan town And she'll take care of the

They can take care of the Japanese If they want to get something done they get it done You know This how are the Irish They conquered They basically took all of Asia in a month. And so they'll do this.

So I go over there and she looks at me and she goes, his name wasn't Mark, it was Alex. I'm sorry. Alex Hauergey was his name. She looked at me when I walked in. She was a fright in her eyes and like, I never trust Alex again. Because you're the Elvis?

Because I'm the short guy coming to be an Elvis, you know, and you had puffy hair. You had like Elvis. And I said to her right there, again, my stand-up experience, after doing it for a couple of years, but this point I said, no, no, no, no, I can do this.

I'd be all right, I can do it. And they had no alternative. They had nobody else. And so literally, it's like a Friday and I got to fly Sunday to do this for the next week. And so the next thing I go, I'll just do it, it'll be fun. And I get on the plane and I start going over these songs and stuff. And we're like, I don't really know this. And then Alex is like, hey, listen, just where you're going, Kumamoto's, like the Alabama of Japan.

They don't speak English. Just do the same verse over and over again. know the difference. So I said, I'll just do that. But then I realized, no, you can't just do that. These are Elvis fans. Even if they don't speak English, they're going to know. Teleprompter, cue cards. Yeah, this is way before any of that stuff for me. So anyway, on the way over there, I start getting a little bit nervous about it. And I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm with the big deal. It's just Japan. I'm never going to come back to this place. I land there. There's a bus that picks us up, a bus with posters all over the bus that says,

Elvis New Kennedy House, anything Japanese, you know, like, anything, Japanese loved any American words like Kennedy Elvis Nixon, whatever they had Nixon Elvis Kennedy Howard. So then we then I get on the bus and they drive us straight to go see the

the Kazu guy which is like a mobster guy and he looks at me too. Kaza? Kazu or whatever is it a Japanese He's the guy in charge, whatever he's like the guy. Fuck that. And so he looks at me and says you sing now. You sing.

No. You're Elvis or he looked at me. You sing now. He's got a funny voice too. You sing, you're singing, you're going to. He's got hit men around him and everything. He just looked like a dangerous little guy. So what did you make me sing right there?

He took us out to eat. Acapella? And he made me sing. No, he made me like go to the place. And I said, I'm going to have some time. He literally, after we ate, he took me in the club and I said, okay, I got some time because the club's not done. It's like the walls aren't there or the floors.

Did you have one to do you know? Huh? Did you have one go to? of a song that you did in your acting, you know, like, now we're never used to do. Yes, it's like a hound dog or a blue's weight shoes. But the, so anyway, go to the place. It's not done.

I said, I'm going to have time to learn these songs because the floor is not in. There's no way it's going to open tonight. But the thing is in Japan, if you're not done, they make you pay, if you're a construction, whatever company. Oh, really? They make you pay for every hour you're late. Oh, that's not happening here. So they did finish it that night.

And then the problem was, it was three shows that night. And four on weekends After the first show The first night I blow my voice out I said I can't do this I go running into the sushi place Which is every every restaurant there

And just start Just shoving down Ginger And ginger And ginger And just I get through the second show And then the third show I don't know how I survived

I said I never got to do it again I'm like this the next day And I don't know how I'm going to do it again Did you kill? And it was good It was okay You know there was enough people On the weekends it was packed

Is there a little band or a karaoke. We had like, they flew me over with the band and everything. A little band's playing. But anyway, but anyway, by like, and I said,

well, you got to figure it out and then, but it was, and sure enough, I did do the, I did, my first letterman appearance was, I did,

I did, he said, so you were Elvis in Japan. What was that like? So he did ask me a question. I didn't have a really good, it's still funny, because you did Elvis on a fish hook

on your first set, right? Yeah, going full circle. So that, that Elvis was really, and then Elvis on a, fish hook was just one of those quick hit. But I could do a really good Elvis, so that would like it helps.

Oh, wow. I know what it was like out of Priscilla. I don't know, maybe I said, now I would just introduce it just like a, at that time, if you did odd stuff unconnected, it was kind of interesting. That was like a style at that time. It's like, now I'd like to do my impression of Elvis on a fish hook and on a fish hook. And I go, oh, sunny red. I don't know.

I'll maybe come back here one of these days and get them, ah, you know, and I would do that. His list curls up and he tilts his head and lifts up. He got a laugh. But that was the thing that when I did that at that set that we did. Auditioning for SNL probably. Yeah. And it was just one of those things. Like you got a big laugh.

It was interesting. And Lauren said later, you know, when I, if I see something brilliant, I know that there's the potential to repeat it. And I said, am I hired? And I guess that was the way to be hired that. that Elvis on a fishstroke will be like like a rucker. I don't know if it's a talk show. You talk to Jim Downey. Well, you also used to do reading from Elvis and me.

Actually, your act was very unique. When you say, you just said a little bit ago, you go, I should try not to have the material like everyone else. That wasn't my motto, but you did because you actually did that. You also did, also reading from the first time I met Elvis. Elvis and me with Priscilla was funny. An impression if you're not good at it, just doing something that's completely not good at all. It also works.

Who was that? That was Priscilla. Oh, okay, I got you. I read the book, Priscilla Presley wrote a book called Elvis and me. And I swear to God, when I was reading it, I started reading it out loud to people. And they were just howling laughing. So what was the words used for Priscilla? It was a, I would just talk like this, which is kind of like a version of my mother.

Yeah. My mother also, she would never, she didn't understand. The mother from Boggio, which is like the mountains of the Philippines. She wouldn't understand jokes, but she would understand how to laugh at the right time. She'd go, your mom. Marvin,

very sweet. What does it mean? What does it mean? I don't understand. You know, when he said, he goes, when you were, one of your jokes was, I'll mangle it.

When you were a little kid, when you were eight years old, you banged your head on the coffee table, and your mom would make you feel good, and she'd go hit it, and she goes, bad coffee table, bad. And she goes, and you'd feel better,

and she goes, we make it even, bad coffee table and hit it. And then you go to bed, and your dad wakes you up between the morning, goes, Hey, Rob, get on down here. Your mom spilled hot wax in the coffee table. We got to make it even.

You know our policy. Oh, yeah. So then you have that hot wax filled on you. Yeah, yeah. That was the idea, yeah. They got to make it even. But I remember, like, if I did that, you know, when you do a character, it's like, you can do your jokes and you get it. But when you do a character, it's just another.

Also, in the middle of the joke, you're playing people. And also, you had a musicality to you. You had a rhythmic musicality from the early days, and we're hearing it now. now, which is also, I like the whole is great in some of the parts of musical rhythms. Like getting copy. How do you hit that? It was just so infectious.

Making cape, you know, like that. There's a musicality to it. It's a song. It sings. It's got to sing. It's a song. How did you, now let's get to that part. Rob and I, fast forward.

We get hired on SNL. We audition at Catch Rising Star, I think. Well, the first one we did at the Melrose. Okay. And then, like, the scariest part was like, at that time, I kind of had a, like a little bit of a fuck you attitude in a good way because you have to

because you get, otherwise you get beaten down. You're too. And I said, you know what? And then I got the call from Bernie. Lorne, Lord. He managed to put extra syllables in that one. Lorum. Lombimidu.

And I said, well, he'll want, you know, Robert Smigel. His son. Stelone. Yeah, Smigel did a funny thing where he was like, where he was just, you know, you take it so exaggerated.

And Robert was like, like, let me eat your foot. I don't know how it got there, but his, his Bernie impression, I want to eat your, I want to eat your foot. Bernie is a heavy guy. No one knows anything. That's the thing he told me the first day. No one fucking knows anything in this business.

And later on, Brad Gray said, I don't know, why is he saying that? Because it's like, you know, give me 15% of that. He don't know. Fucking nothing. Now, give me a check. It's true. So the next day he said, Whoa,

he wants to meet you. Loan. And I said, well, I get a gig in San Diego. And I said, he knows, um,

I'm middling. I get a gig in San Diego. And he said, he'll know, uh, what it's like, if you have a job, he'll respect it.

And, uh, you know, and he said, if he wants to meet me, he'd fly me to New York. And, and that was very,

and I just said that in the morning. As I'm driving down to San Diego, I have the cold sweats and I literally like, I just fucked up. everything. Yeah, for sure. And I really had, but at the back of my mind it was the right thing. And the only person he flew

out of all those people audition was me to New York. You flew over me while I was driving. David was yeah, he was getting ready to move furniture because he had to go back and forth every summer. They hired us as a writing team. I remember you guys coming in like freaking Yeah, it was a weird scene.

Bernie said they were a writing theme. You got to hire them both. I was not aware that I didn't want first of all I didn't want to be a writer. I wanted to write but be a performer and that was hard. So I was saying about a copy machine. We did those four shows. Even Dennis said, Spudley, you don't get anything on.

I think it's curtains. I'm like, and it was only fucking four shows. I go, there's no fucking chance. I did get a Michael J. Fox on on the Dice Clay Show. And Kenny Among, who I love, says, David, I forgot to put you at the beginning. I go, what does that mean? I was I didn't put your card up where it says, featuring David Spade. And I go, it wasn't there.

And he goes, yes, I know who you were. And I go, God damn, I won't shot. It's a tradition on the podcast, just 10 seconds. a Michael J. Fox casually is a war. Sarge. Actually, I just give you one. I do it for Rob. No, you're down to one syllable. He's seen it too many times. So I do Michael J. Fox.

And then we have to sum off. And then Rob and I get hired back. They always wait a while. It was a little touch and going because we didn't get anything on. But I remember, like, I would do anything. Like they said, like, write promos. Promos, which is like that,

why are they letting me write promos? I've never written a pro in my life. This is awesome. You realize. You realize no one wants to write the promos. Yeah. And so I went and they said, you know, and Lauren was, I mean, I was just blown away by the fact that Lauren would even talk to me. Of course.

And then he said, like, and then, you know, you just, and you have to write it. You'll write promos. And then, no explanation either. You just got to figure it out. So then, and so I went in and Deborah Winger was the host of him. Yeah. Remember her. And I went in.

And Jack Handy wrote a great sketch with her, even though she was very fragile. I walk into their dressing room. She's there sitting. sitting with the lawn on the floor. And she's literally crying going, I can't believe you talked me into doing this. I just, I'm not good. I can't.

And I was just like, whoa, is this like this every week? Yes. Wow. I would have gone in Travolta, you know, for her, like from, what that Western or was that? Urban Calway, go ahead. You know, like, I kind of think I might be falling in love with you,

something like that. Sorry. See, that was the day in a day and it too. was that he he would hit the you know in his stand-up too he'd just like the turns he would make by the time he would be like like a NASCAR or racer you know a driver and all of a sudden and by the end of his routine because he would do the stuff but then he would pummel the audience it was like a boom-thud-boom-to-boom-to-boom and by the end he would go from one impression another impression and the impressions are talking to each other and the audience can't

breathe it was like it was literally like a meditative thing for that I said holy shit I'm going to listen to this podcast that's very nice Rob that's very nice Rob But that is way off. That was the influence with me. David wants to make an edit now. No, just anything about Dana we're going to take out. Pumbo, pumbola, pumbola, pumbola. Rob, when we were at, I think those four shows.

I just got to use the restroom real quick. I'm just sorry. I said, can I use the verbal quick? Yeah, yeah. Just want to say. Yeah, go through the back room. Dana, you started standing. Rob's going to go away.

We don't have to stop it. We can his weight, right? Oh, we keep going. He's so weird. He's in the restroom. I know. That's really smart. Talk about Deuce Bigelow.

What does that mean? He's taking a two. Like he's going to unload. He's getting the unload chamber. There's a bathroom right here too. Do you know that? That you don't have to go in the back bedroom. I just don't know if you were.

I went to the very back. You're not going again. You can watch yourself. Audio only podcast. No, it's right by the grocery store. If you go through this hall, there's a little. mini Ralph's it's a pop-up you go through that sorry serge hey sergey sarge i got it's

casey case him i got to do it hey sarge yeah i don't i have to get a new one we don't have that many runners that's just a great that's a great runner you got one you got one you know what uh nicky glazer said about your set the other night that you should do more of that bill gates bit and um on the island yeah it was funny i was just and do more clinton oh you see those pictures i cut i got him for Because I did I was just doing concepts I was bailing because a lot But they like they were so excited I did keep some of those pictures to send you Get a standing ovation but to me that's not good enough

No it's because I did chopping broccoli on the piano where I wrote chopping broccoli You did a standing ovation but they found out that guy worked there Dino do do do do do You came up and I knew on the way out all I heard was roaring Well they what happened was the other night if we're still on Is that Dana came down to do the improv the other night, and he's doing hosting a show coming up, so he's practicing. And then stand up in three years, in a club.

Three years in a club. We put him as a special guest, and then I went after him. But went up, great, read some stuff off a notepad, everyone was enchanted, funny premises, big laughs, closes hard. And then I went up, but everyone was like, Dana, Dan, Dan, so they were all excited. Well, that's good. If she liked that, I like the premise of Bill Gates on,

you know, Epstein's Island, being awkward. Hey, what are you doing here? I'm just like putting it on sunscreen. We're going to go by the Pulley, want to go. All right, listen, if you're enjoying the fly on the wall, of course, hopefully you are. Click follow. We don't want to be desperate, but obviously smash that goddamn button on your favorite podcast app.

Smash it. Leave a review, a good one. Leave a five-star rating, nothing else. Whoops. And maybe even share an episode with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please. Subscribe, Dana. What do you think?

I'm going to tell you this right now. Him and I'll believe me later. Fly in the Wall, believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey. And executive produced by Hold For It, Dana Carvey and David Spade. Or David Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't write those stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman, and Leah Reese Dennis. The show is edited by Evan Cox.

With production support from Phil Sweet Tech, talent production and booking by Sophia Lippor.