Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Remembering Rob Reiner + All Kinds Of Life Hacks
Episode Date: December 22, 2025David’s sick, but the conversation doesn’t miss a beat. He and Dana talk about the one thing that’ll get you through Christmas, becoming your best self, and the best advice their dads ever gave ...them. They also reminisce about Rob Reiner, cover some news, and yes — Dana brings props. Oh, and Dana brings PROPS! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Tyler Reddick here from 2311 racing.
And Bubba Wallace.
You know what's the worst part of a race?
A rain delay.
Sitting around, waiting for the track to dry is dull.
But instead of waiting, we hang out with Chumba Casino.
Social Casino slots, bingo, solitaire, plenty of fun to keep us entertained.
So why let a rain delay slow you down?
Play now at chumbacasino.com.
Let's Chumba!
Sponsored by Chumba Casino.
No purchase necessary.
VGWB4. Prohibited by law.
21 plus.1 plus.
Terms and condition supply.
Ready to level up, Chumba Casino is your playbook to fun.
It's free to play with no purchase necessary.
Enjoy hundreds of online social games like Blackjack, slots, and solitaire.
Anytime, anywhere, with fresh releases every week.
Whether you are at home or on the go, let Chumba Casino bring the excitement to you.
Plus, get free daily login bonuses and a free welcome bonus.
Join now for your chance to redeem some serious prizes.
Play Chumba Casino today.
No purchase necessary VGW Group voidware prohibited by law 21 plus TNCs apply.
Hey, Ontario, come on down to BentMGM Casino and see what our newest exclusive the Price's Right Fortune pick has to offer.
Don't miss out.
Play exciting casino games based on the iconic game show, only at BetMGM.
Check out how we've reimagined three of the show's iconic games, like Plinkgo, Cliffhanger, and the Big Wheel into fun casino game features.
Don't forget to download the BetMGM Casino app for exclusive access and excitement on the Price's Right For.
Fortune Pick. Pull up a seat and experience the Price is Right Fortune Pick. Only available
at BetMGM Casino. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager.
Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling
or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1866-531-2,600 to speak to an
advisor, free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario.
Guys, here we are.
Fly on the wall, Dana and Spade.
And we are about to tell you, well, Dana's going to tell you the one thing that will get you through this Christmas holiday.
One thing.
There's just only one thing.
And a few minutes, I'm going to tell you what it is.
And if I can't remember, David's going to tell you.
Yeah, that's right.
Look, you've got a new elf sand in the background.
What do you mean?
Oh, my God.
Look at that.
Can you sing a little bit?
like sing jingle bell see if we can get him moving that and bum bum jingle don't just move him
jingle bell rock jingle bell this and jingle bell that there you go oh look at that
that up that there you go wow that's that AI that's too good I know you might be able to hear this a little bit
Oh, we're not allowed to play music probably.
Oh.
This whole show is scrapped, throwing the garbage.
Oh, this is, um, he's just going to put the mic over there and there will be no music when we do this.
You can barely hear it.
And if we're sued, I mean, this thing has been around with like for 25 years, never broke, put it in a box, throw it up in the attic.
And everyone who I send them to people and they flip for them because they really are cheerful.
He looks like he's flexing.
Is he on N-A-D?
yeah he is a little he's built put it that way he's got quads do they want santa to be ripped now
yeah it looks like we should put little barbells in this thing yeah little green ones yeah oh he's
moving again he's yeah this is how he feels it's almost like a dog this is how he's celebrating
our christmas podcast dude i have shades on dana because i feel like i got sick and i'm trying
not to get ahead of sick because oh you know what it could be those god
them gooners that came over the other day Heather oh that all young people sometimes
get our aim asymptomatic so they can be care they don't feel anything I had
Aiden Ross who's a streamer kickstream I literally I sound so old I'm not old I'm young
but stream are and twitching and those things I don't know it's the only thing
like lazier than doing a podcast if that's possible they
Just walk around and talk.
So there's no real point.
There's no real like, let's get to this.
You know, if you go on Ellen, I think I did it because I met this kid, A,
and he was very nice to me at the UFC fight.
And then he said, can you come on?
I'm like, I should do something for the younger people.
Just to say, when they say, who's that?
Then they go, oh, he was on that guy's stream.
Well, right.
Yeah.
Here's the thing.
So I saw a YouTube clip of Quentin Tarantino
talking about Rio Bravo
Which is a movie with John Wayne
Oh, that looked like a real person right there
Heather missed it. That looked like a real person
Well, have a good Christmas, you sons of bitches
But anyway
He talked about movies being good hangs
And so Good Hang is like
They become your surrogate friends
So the only thing I can think about streaming
12 hours a day, which is a workload
is that people have you on the background
and you're like they're surrogate friends
or they're kind of their friends
and they don't have to be entertaining
they just have to be real.
I think it's the realness of just saying
this kid's good.
He might have some, he's a talented guy.
He knows how to do this situation.
So he...
There I go.
Is this Santa again?
I was trying to get him started.
That was worth my riveting story.
No, Aiden is...
He's jumping.
Hayden's clever.
He bought a, didn't he buy a $30 million home?
No, he's a rich dude.
I saw him walking on Jake Paul's house.
They just go, they know every babe.
They know every streamer, haughty.
It's like this world of these people come on their show and they have like fights and they get angry and they clip it out.
They clip that thing out that night, Heather, right?
It was just clippity duda.
Uh-huh.
Whoever's house they shot it in.
It was really, really a cool house.
this shit hole because I go I don't know where to go he was when to walk around the grove and I'm like just like a bunch of us we're just going to just stop and talk to people and go into the gap I could see where it would go or be funny unless I jumped in the fountain but uh I came here I showed him around stuff I said oh I saw it was funny the way you were busting them in a very kind of gentle way yeah like you did the store you did the doll door stick which I've heard and they didn't quite well what do you what do you mean?
Yeah, I did about seven of those and they all were like, oh, but I took them down in here to see,
but fly on the wall.
They're all impressed.
We're, you know, I don't know.
Well, there's regular television.
There's podcasting, hey, that's easy.
You turn on a mic and go for it.
And then there's live streaming where you literally hang out.
You just hang out with your friends.
You know Pook and Akua.
So he did Puka right after me.
And Puka didn't really get it either because he was saying they go, what about the refs?
he's like they all cheat he was just talking like he's talking the guy behind him with the camera's like
this is gold so he got puka kind of accidentally just bullshitting and saying stuff about refs
and uh i saw a clip where they're like i don't know if we're going to find him but we'll see so
that's the danger of live right so we can do a live are they sneaking up on people and sort
of surreptitiously recording them or are they asking permission
I think they have like a main person.
So they go to my house.
The next thing, we've got Puka.
They're in town.
They do me.
They do Puka.
And so I didn't even know that.
He didn't name drop that one on me.
I would have liked that one.
I would just say that Puka is a shell of his former self.
Not bad, right?
I remember that movie Puka Pete?
I was a guy that got lost in that.
That's right.
That's why I made Master Disguise because Pucca Pete
wet the bed yeah i i pulled out of puka pete two weeks before we shot that's unheard of we
already built all the sets i know they knew it was just not going the right way and they were
changing it i'm like i don't it's getting overwhelming i don't think it's that funny anymore it's
turning into like a movie they pitched me and then suddenly my movie's turning into that movie
and it's not the same i was like i know i knew there was something up because the ease
of how they let me out of it instead of going you're going to you got to pay us well then i had a
read through they go oh fred and david's movie isn't going but there's a hundred person crew and
all this stuff so they go well we give this dog a chance so you know one of the executives
i heard him lean in and go this is not going to work you know but i had an eight-year-old boy
sitting across from me i'm going you like or yes you like
it just crushed and then we had to make the movie we had to start making the movie in like a
week but the script needed a lot of works we had to rewrite it in the trailer the entire time
i mean i kind of still like that way sometimes we are prepping these movies for a year or two
it's just so much overthinking even bus boys we're looking at it we're cutting jokes you're
that one's stupid now we're like well no one's seen it yet so maybe it's not stupid uh that is a
problem because you can just edit it to to a slow death yeah you know oh cut that go over there
yeah we haven't showed it to a crowd so if you show it to a crowd you start to go oh the jokes i love
bombed and then this other weird cutaway got the biggest laugh so you learn a lot from showing him
all right so i calm this guy down or keep him moving no calm him down because people are more
into that than the show i know i am
well i don't know if i like the snapping that's like me it's a little creepy yeah because
it works oh wait we had the ufo guy on last week do you do you have this picture can we show
it um i sent it to you to send it to heather or gregg oh we got to send it to you to send
to me to send to heather yeah that's all right this is what this is real man right now so
basically up where i am is sort of the boondocks not saying exactly where it is but um you
it's in california and it um the night sky had some weird anomalous things and so we we took pictures
and there was no nothing on the news no explanation and they're just these these
synchronistic lights just sitting there and it was too well you'll if you can get it on the
i just thought and have you ever had they downloaded a picture but it comes in your camera
when Dana took the picture so it's like a week ago so you got to I always think it didn't work
I go oh it worked but I got to go scrounge for it oh when I took it is what the way it does it
yeah that's fucked up that's that doesn't make any sense Heather Heather Dana when did you
take it like a week ago yeah I got it yeah okay yes that's a Greg and then if anyone on this podcast
can explain it i'll i'll buy them one of these santas everyone thinks we're UFO crazy people but we
only did one before that was career and we got this new guy his show's number one i love that stuff
there's some weird weird stuff going on out there is that weird a weird one chef well you know the i mean
yeah it's we all want i mean Spielberg's now making a movie about it which i know which is great yeah okay
here it is so i guess you could people can see it put the light up on there so what the
fuck is that it's not and it's it's fixed for a while i don't even know what happened to it but
it it's sort of you know what is it can someone tell us right up right above our property and
you know it's not balloon he lives out where it's very clear super dark it doesn't have the
poison fog like we have in l.a right now no we don't believe in fog up here we believe in dogs
but this one day and it reminds me of the lights over Phoenix because everyone thought they were in a row and then they saw a light way over here and they go oh it's a triangle that that whole thing is the edge of a ship right either that's some government project you know or something like that or it's not just random stars in the sky so it either has to be an organized kind of thing or not but i didn't have any explanation for it in my head were you scared i was
intrigued.
Do you have video?
Do you have video? No.
Should we send it to Dr. Greer and him analyze it?
Yeah, send it to Dr. Greer.
Okay.
Heather.
I don't know if we'll get it back by press time.
Yeah.
Make your home smell as good as it looks with Pure4.
The smart fragrance diffuser that lets you control your scent from anywhere.
Choose some hundreds of premium fragrances.
Schedule your favorite.
and set the perfect mood for every moment.
And right now, get yours free when you subscribe to two cents for 12 months.
Don't wait.
This limited time offer won't last.
Try it risk-free for 30 days now at pura.com.
You know, the holidays are here, and that means it's the most wonderful time of year to save with Racketon.
Use Racketon to stack cash back at your favorite stores on top of holiday sales.
That's savings on savings.
With Racketon, you can get cash back on gifts for everyone on your list,
from toys for the kids to kitchen gear for the person who loves it to cook,
to electronics for everyone.
You can even save on something for yourself.
Just shop to stores you love, and cashback is automatically added to your account.
And you could choose to get paid via Interact, E-transfer, PayPal, or check.
Join for free today and get a new member bonus.
After minimum qualifying purchases,
Just go to racketon.ca.
Download the app or install the browser extension.
That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N.
Terms and conditions apply.
Canada can be a global leader in reducing the harm caused by smoking,
but it requires actionable steps.
Now is the time to modernize Canadian laws
so that adult smokers have information and access to better alternatives.
By doing so, we can create lasting change.
If you don't smoke, don't start.
If you smoke, quit.
If you don't quit, change.
Visit unsmoked.ca.
All right, we better, before we go too much further, tell the people the one thing you need to know to survive Christmas.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Let me say something before this.
Please do.
Because Christmas is a lot of emotions combed to a head.
uh big holiday events someone the other day uh have you ever had someone to recommend you a therapist
and my first thought is wait did they do you um well that's a hard pass uh you are the most
fucked up individual yeah i know your life is a disaster and you're on 19 medications
and you've been seeing this guy and they really want you in there like you got to do it
how to do it how do they say it to you how do they say it kind of casual you might think about
this or i have a good therapist yeah you know uh i actually been going to therapist is great
do you ever been to therapist i go i have you know what you should use my guy are great and i'm like
i'm going to stop you right there to stop you right there you it takes 18 pills just to get you to
leave the house is this the best possible you right now i don't know
the best possible you that's a great figure of speech be the best possible you i would say that
therapy i don't know if people are you know super nutball but in the narrow frame of it
what are your patterns of behavior oh my that are a little self to talk like for me being you
could say he's a people pleaser he's codependent or you can say he's a nice generous person so you could
with either way but um so there's things like that where you could like you specifically would
have to work on will you tell me later yeah there's a look dana's like oh do you want to know there's
a list in my car i scribbled something i'm asking you one question and i want a one second answer
are you self-actualized oh do i have a good idea of how people see me i don't think so
Is that what that means?
Yeah, I guess.
Have you splurged on the urge to emerge?
Oh, boy.
I've splutied on my laptop.
The therapist I went to for five years.
Yeah, they're just one, Jesus.
She just basically, what was great about her is she just says life is a shit show.
You know, lower your expectations.
I'm really scared to tell one person all my secrets.
as I heard that happened in Scientology, you clear your head of all your secrets.
Mm-hmm.
And then there's a rumor that they can use that against you if you leave because they film it.
And they're like, okay, I guess everybody wants to know how you had a threesome with two other dudes.
Yeah, I, because I like Tom Cruise so much, but here's an interesting, in Hollywood, there's a place called the Celebrity Center.
It's one of their campuses.
Oh, yeah.
You know, I've been there.
I've been there.
So I had an Irish cousin from Dublin, just a very honest, innocent man, you know, and he was walking around L.A.
So he went up there, what is this called, a Celebrity Center.
So he was in there for about 45 minutes in there talking to him, and he said, I've got to tell you something right now.
If I go in a Catholic church, I know immediately what they believe in.
The same with the Jewish temple.
But I've been here nearly an hour, and I don't want to what you are all about.
and that's the definition of a cult
and then they escorted him out
yeah you can't throw occult around there
I don't think they like it but probably
I mean I had a chiropractor
who was working on me very nice guy
and all these dionetic books on the table
I read it I was just a young
mold of clay
just an innocent sweet boy
so you're ripe for the pick and doing
dron, manipulate and so he goes
hey I want to take you lunch so I keep blowing it off anyway takes me lunch at the
CC Celeb Center perfectly fine lunch and some people come over and talk to you
and then I finally get a little weird vibe so yeah okay thanks I go back and he goes
you got to join and I go I don't think I want to he goes you want that back to clear
up you want your neck to feel better I go so I it's not going to get better until I
and he goes, yep, because you've got to clear everything out.
And I go, there might be something to that,
but I was always under the assumption
that you were actually just trying to fix me
without these caveats.
So that was the last time I went.
Hmm.
Well, I read Dianetics, and it's got a lot of end run sentences
and redundancy, but basically it's psychology 101
and the core of it, like you have all these things
that happen to you, and then they inform your behavior,
whether you're bitter, angry, or PTSD, or scared.
And so you, yeah, I know, it was based on you.
They had a room called the David Spade Room there at the celebrity.
I go, well, he didn't even join.
They go, and trust me, he said, so you hang on to these thing called e-meters.
And I guess there's a slight electric vibration that goes through those.
And then they talk about things.
And you sort of release the idea of this overreactive mind, you know.
So, so, you know, I remember during SNL, I went to my deadbeat dad.
who wasn't around much he goes how's it going out there and i go it's fucking rough dude i go i did
this but got a laugh and read through i was just telling him the textbook shit that they're saying
right now somewhere from this season right yeah but i don't think it was fair because it did this
and he stops me he goes let me stop you whoever told you life was fair and it kind of stumped me
i go i guess nobody i just assumed he's like i go i try to be fair with people
fair with people he's like who gives this shit you're out in the real world now it's such a brutal
wake-up call and you go yeah yes so he leaves for 15 years comes back drops a wisdom bomb on you
and then you cry and hug him and it's all forgiven one time we were i would seem about after four
when he left we had three boys we would hang out about once a year he goes i'm gonna pick you up
in a silver porch he had all this bullshit but we were still like so stoked to see him he's our dad
Oh, okay.
But he was so, but I wound up buying him a con.
It was all this guilt stuff to keep him around.
But then one time I was like 14 and he was pissed at me.
He goes, you're not wearing socks with his shoes?
I go, no, man, it's cool.
Because I told you last time, wear socks when we go to dinner.
And he pulled over and tried to spank me.
I'm like, I'm sorry, sir.
Who are you?
I'm 14.
Well, when he pulled over, how would you spank you?
How does he get access to spanky?
Pulled over a rest stop, we rented a room.
Now, he just pulled over and tried to spank my.
I go, Dad, I think the spanking part of me growing up is over.
I think you missed out.
He did spank when I was really a little, but I said,
you don't get, this doesn't go forever.
And then the funniest thing he said to me was I was on Letterman once.
And the one funny thing is he goes, Davy,
he was kind of a little bit of a grub warm,
you know, he always wanted a little bit of money and shit.
And he goes, Davy, I, um,
I've talked about it.
I've been thinking about a good investment for you.
You've probably heard this.
It's always an investor.
A million times.
And he goes, I want you to buy a condo and then I'll manage it for you.
Basically live there.
And I go, I don't know.
And he goes, come on, Davey.
They're not making any more condos.
I go, I think that's land.
Yeah.
And he goes, no.
hope it's condos i go i think they are making they're shitting out about three
million a day but anyway i did buy it for him but i did a letterman with him once and i took him
and he we took a jet and then we uh stayed the four seasons right nice so he goes let's do that again
some time about a year later i go to letterman they they switch it to first class i just paid
for a jet myself but he goes we'll go first class and i go if i get my dad i'm going to split first
class and the two coach and he goes what are we doing your coach what the fuck happened to you i go i don't
know we're just that who cares we're just going there and he goes look at this hotel i'm staying at the
park park of meridian what the fuck is that i go it's nice i've been there and he goes bad at all yeah
he goes two years ago it was private jets in the four seasons kind of slide down the old fame
ladder are you are these quotes that's a
quote.
My friends would always say that to me
if we went to a shitty restaurant.
They'd be like, this is where we're going to eat tonight?
Kind of sliding down your own face letter.
Davey.
Yeah, my dad actually
a lot of stuff around finances.
Oh, your mother was crying
the other day. I wish I had money to take
her somewhere. Oh, Jesus
Christ. And one time
though, he did have something that there's
not a lot of late front property
in the western U.S.
you know minnesota there's 10,000 lakes so up in montana late limburg it was like oh the crockers
their house is coming for sale it's like crockers and they were he was an orphan and they were kind
of his parents when he was high school but that would have been a good move actually to buy a
house on a lake in in montana what is it called silverfish well white fish is above uh flathead lake
and that's a stunning lake and we were we rented there once and it was stunning but we were going
there to buy it but then we got we got lost or something we're going to oh you told me this story
you pulled over to eat and you didn't never bought it yeah you know everyone's got a wood a could
shoulda woulda woulda woulda foot in their life but you know well do you want to drop this
Christmas bomb on us or should we go to stories news stories well we told the we promised
the audience some wisdom about how to survive
We sort of did tell them, but...
Well, I would just say the really, the way to survive is to drink heavily.
Give yourself a treat.
Try not to fight.
Well, Christmas, I don't know.
It's really for little kids, you know, with 10,000 gifts and stuff.
But basically, to get along with relatives that hate you and you hate them is just to kind of give it up.
up to him oh you're right i got you yeah yeah he's got a roll back a couple days
is anyone staying with you no we're pretty quiet we've got all we got a santa's village
thing going on looks like exact replica of a gas station with the car moving inside and snow all
around it and so that's cool yeah no i'm not finished we got a christmas tree
well let's talk also quickly about uh rob reiner because this we're getting
into the news now and um the news was about as sad as it could be for that situation uh rob on my end rob
i just knew he did dicky roberts it was a big favor did play to himself my character was an actor
wanted to read for him we did a scene he was so lovely and so funny and he was such a big part
of that movie and that excitement of being with him so always have good feelings also his
I was looking at them and I'm like, I couldn't put his top five in any order.
There's such bangers.
It's unreal how much he did.
Princess Bride and Spinal Tap, a few good men.
Stand by me.
Yeah, two Stephen King movies.
He was, he was eclectic and misery.
He did all different kinds of films.
Harry Met Sally.
Those are all fucking home runs, like big movies.
Yeah.
I don't know if you're with me then.
I was walking around New York.
I think we probably would love it.
And then we go, oh, what's this?
And it was Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan who played my girlfriend on one of the boys in 1980.
All right.
And Rob Reiner and they were doing when Harry met Sally.
She goes, I think this is working out pretty good.
Rob Reiner was what I'd call a gentleman.
Very sweet.
When I went into, they said, go meet with those guys.
I was barely in show business.
that'd be Christopher Gass and Michael McKean and Harry Shear and Rob Reiner.
So I walked in and they were thinking of me as the drummer who blows up or whatever.
And then I said, I feel like you guys all know each other and all relaxed and I'm kind of nervous.
And Rob Reiner went, all right, let's go.
Let's leave.
So they just left the room.
They said, we're going to leave the room and then we'll come in.
So they all left and I'm sitting in the room by myself for like five minutes.
Then they all come back in.
And he was directing me, you know, very casually when I did a scene as a mime waiter with Billy Crystal.
So it's an absolute tragedy.
It's sickening and bizarre and just life.
You know, I just found out this opera singer, if you heard about this, about a week ago,
someone was murked somehow.
And they didn't talk much about it after, but they just found out it was the sun.
also so what a crazy thing to happen twice and uh not his son but the guy's son and what that's so
tough the thing i i was wondering about is this bill hater part where it sounds like it was much
to do about nothing i don't think it's anything it just sounds like clickbait i heard bill
hater got a huge argument with him then i heard bill hater at conan's party i heard bill
told him to leave and then yesterday i read they had no interaction but the kid gave bill hater a
dirty look when he left i don't know that this tabloid stuff i always say i've been in the tabloids a little
bit you have you're like nah that's not true i just take it all i take it all of the grain of salt
you know i would just say this unfortunately episodes like this happen all the time all over the
country and i don't mean like 10 a day but it happens you know domestic incidences you know all
and so this is just something that for people who knew rob reiner and his work is just very personal
and his lovely wife who also was a producer and um it's too tragic it's too sad i don't know how
to talk about it really yeah it's very heightened when it's someone people have a affinity for or
a celebrity type and um people feel they know him and you're right it happens all day every day
it's just such it's a tough rough world out there and he was in all the family you know in the
70s you know so it's a long long time of rock being in our world as an artist and filmmaker
and just overall nice guy he was he was a he was a patriot who's out there it's you know
politically active uh whether anyone agrees with anybody it doesn't matter he was he was
was just a good citizen that way um so anyway yeah all right let's get this some other more
cheerful stories unless yeah let's bring it home it is this is funny someone sent me this
so ethan hawk is david all the sudden they put in variety they go spade did you do some
facial work i said i fucking wish give me that i wouldn't look like that
yeah what a stud huh uh uh yeah yeah he
he's he's just always kind of uh he's cool like he he's not he's not a celebrity he does
indie stuff he does weird stuff but you always whenever you watch him act he's like an artist is
like he's one of those hmm goes back to training day he's got a lot of great great things he's
done and he's got uh umah thurman who's married to i think he's got a daughter that's doing well
in the business uh okay that's enough of that that was exciting that was you though where it was
not Ethan Hawke.
No, it's Ethan Hogg.
I know.
All right, what's this one?
People to call themselves doctors anymore if they do not have an MD.
So, you know, some attorneys call themselves doctor.
Dentists call themselves doctor.
Chiropractors call themselves doctors.
Audiologists call themselves doctor.
That will no longer be permitted in California.
California, if you are not an MD,
do not call yourself a doctor because you are confusing society.
You are confusing everyone.
Wow, they went after that.
Because if someone dropped down and had a hard to drive, Mr.
Biden, you know, doctor would not be the one pulling up, one empty.
So they are trying to get some clarification on who can identify themselves as a doctor in California.
Oh, oh, she's not a real doctor.
I'm going to have to talk to the doctor about the person who's not a real doctor.
If I say doctor three times, I get a prize.
I get a raise.
You should be depressed.
They say the doctors.
They say the doctors like nobody's business.
They say.
I like these new things.
You really up this podcast a little bit.
Don't proceed.
Don't proceed.
The millionaires and the billionaires.
You're a millionaire.
We got to get the billionaires.
That's what we got to get the billionaires.
Millionaires are fine.
Oh, I got to bring it closer.
I was dumb.
Yeah.
Let me tell you something.
This is a Merry Christmas.
Oh, I was in Santa Monica.
And I missed him.
Arnold came in in a Christmas sweater with Santa with a big American flag.
And I would have 100% gone up.
to him absolutely not going here yeah we got to go to his his superstar kind of office studio yeah
yeah he's the most positive human on earth basically i would have gone and started shit with him
and be funny oh yeah oh i would have killed i just called a girly man you know because that's he loves
that don't be such a girly man yeah yeah okay next one we're killing it this is the christmas show
i know this is a special christmas show look okay dakota johnson says america feels grim but
oh she went to saudi arabia i heard a few people went to saudi arabian after the common
in the states it feels really uh grim and even in the less than 24 hours that i've been here
i have a renewed faith in cinema that's how many of the year honestly well what she saw
a Saudi Arabian move.
She was flown to the Saudi Arabia film festival.
Oh, I see.
So they flew a few, um, but I think they do give talking points.
So I don't think it's in her best interest to say.
And yeah, yeah, the biggest movie is, is animated.
It's called Leo the Camel made by Saudi Arabia.
Leo the Cowell, Leo Sandler's movie, right?
Is it, oh, that's it, but it's a rat or a lizard?
A lizard.
Lizard.
A bo'all foo.
I just thought of a Nikki Glazer joke for the Golden Gloves, but she hasn't done it yet, but I saw.
It's already coming up pretty soon, right, February?
Yeah, because she's doing sets.
She works hard.
So when I do a set, I try to go, Nikki, you should do this.
You should do that.
Can you share one joke with us?
I don't think so because it's probably going to make it the one.
i heard was good that she did and yeah oh but yeah but we're doing the las vegas shows
people come see us january coliseum probably one of the one of the biggest whoopty-do
theaters in there oh these are palace calisium yeah the stage is slightly slanted so oh i know
Slightly. Yeah, I'm such a mumboar.
You're going to be able to handle that Hill?
I don't know why in Handle that Hill and talk to Kevin Nehlin.
By the way, the Academy Awards are going to YouTube.
Oh, I heard this full-so. I don't know if I have an opinion about it, do you?
I'll take whatever yours is.
Oh, well, I would just say, you know, things always change, and we can't go back in the past.
In the 1970s, 60s, 70s, you would never see movie stars. They wouldn't be in
anywhere. And then you see him at the Oscars. The movies that came out, there were big movies,
Ten Commandments or One Flew of the Cuckus Ness, everybody saw. So it was this whole community.
And then, of course, what we're now, a billion shows and a billion things, it already, it just
didn't have the same pop. I love movies, but most of the time I'd seen maybe one of the one's
nominated for Best Picture. So it should have evolved to YouTube, but I'll get a bigger audience
globally and if they're lucky to get the huge audience in sardia arabia with leo de camo
all right let me run to the restroom rope but we never do this i'm run the restroom
oh my goodness is this a production just vamp what does greg want to be my guest
all right most wicked illusion what the hell is this an illusion okay this is amazing
of course there's a guy that there's illusion i've ever seen
what's just watching pretty good right you can actually see two people it's hilarious
well what it was only one person i think it's two people but all you're
looks weird because they have what looks like well he's tall yeah that's the kind of thing
that you really need to see over and over again it's kind of fun to see this stuff it looks like
before a i crazy they're exchanging clothes or something i mean who has the gray pants okay i think
that's just gray one as i thought it was green but one is red and i think one has a red top
and the other colored pants so it throws you even more um i think yeah i ain't got much learn and
well either anyone could be taught to do it and they have special clothes or is it some kind of gymnastics
thing or who thought of it and why did they think of it and why are they still doing what does it mean and
why should I be interested?
It was like AGT.
I love, I love magic and illusions.
I do like magic, and I like not, I like a toe.
Oh, boy.
Come on.
You don't know, one guy turning the other with the purple pants,
they've got gray pants.
Come on.
Spade's colorblind.
Someone asked if I was color blanks and saw the show.
Colorblind.
I go, don't listen to whatever Dana said.
Could I be more cheerful?
This is, I'm, I'm going to switch out after January 1st.
into some other type of shirt i like your lumber jacket look all this red and no you're killing it
and then look at you james bond i have a blue sweater you're going to say it's black it's a blue sweater
but it's my warmest one but i might fall asleep in the day today because i'm barely holding on so i
have to be really warm cozy can you tell my voice is different well when we first came on it was a little
frog here as as you've spoken it's a little more normal but i i'm going to just say this i don't think
you're faking that you're under the weather a little bit i don't think you made it up um you know so
i have so much to do i have to drive out to the valley and i'm like talking to heather going i don't
think i can pull it off i don't think i can do it after this too weak um there are moments in life
where you just have to make that call sometimes.
I've had gigs back in the day.
I can't make that.
My mom, we go, it's too much.
Well, here's the thing.
You're either in something like a mini sickness,
you're just run down and you'll be fine by tomorrow
or it's the beginning of something.
But when something's coming on
to push it too hard
is when you do not want to push it too hard.
I hope you want to write this down or just hope you.
I mean, I kind of got it, but yeah.
You could listen back to the podcast and get these new films.
What you want is, you realize.
Okay, what's next?
Let's try another one.
Okay, there's another illusion.
It's just kind of Dana before I preface this.
This is kind of what I was.
talking about what I'm saying they're going to start throwing out crime videos yes
because people claim AI oh that's not me that's AI oh okay so they've committed a crime
and they go oh no it's AI right now this one is a life hack if you're a criminal you wear an extra
finger so your photos because AI I guess doesn't know how to do fingers for some reason they're so
fucking stupid aliens aliens are so dumb a i's dumb there's a lot of people no one makes fun of
a i for not knowing how to do fingers i do i have hot takes i'd like to explanation but so this is
so you can commit a crime you have an extra weird well when you take a picture and you go oh
a i has can't do fingers so it made six oh and so that's not me in the picture yeah okay and so i'm
innocent yeah see i'm i'm playing
Stratego over here.
I like everything I'm here in Stratigo.
I thought you're playing a battleship.
What do you like this?
Okay, here, pretend we're playing battleship
and I got the thing up and say like G5.
G5.
Nope.
Then I just move the ship to a little farther away.
You just cheat because you've got a little barrier.
Yeah, because you know fun.
Because you nailed it.
your new nickname is milton bradley yeah i got it okay i thought i had a joke about that uh okay
you know i think my nickname was cheater i don't know why milton bradley just said me about all those toys
oh you know i was at the improv last night and it was kind of fun because it was j j walker it was like a
legend oh yeah j j arseigneo and leno wow
Comedy Legends.
That's pretty good, dude.
That's pretty fun to see.
And they were all sitting on a couch bullshitting during my set, and I came back thirsty.
Did you see every nook and cranny of my act?
Oh, so they just do their set and they don't honor you by going out.
Nobody watches anyone else.
No one watches anyone else's set.
Sometimes I've gone around and looked out a couple of times.
Just to kind of get the vibe of the room.
rage jealous yeah but the rudest thing was the guy before me his name's Greg Baldwin
he's a very funny comic but he's not really a household name and he goes tonight I just
have to say before I get off I started this 18 years ago it just hit me tonight here
I am I'm doing it full-time I quit my job now I'm on a show with David Spade and
Jay Leno and Arsenio Hall and JJ Walker I just want to say dream do come true and
he got off and they got a big applause so
When I went up, I go, you guys, I just have to say, I can't believe I'm on a show with
JJ Walker, Jay Leno, that guy, Arsenio Hall.
I just say that guy.
That's funny.
I don't know who he is.
Oh, and then I went and apologized to him after, even though I saw him laugh.
He was sitting there.
And then I go, if he's a community, he knows that's funny.
That's a fucking layup.
You got to fucking do it.
Okay, let's do another story.
And then, Dana, someone has to lay me down and feed me food.
Right.
You've got to get some chicken noodle soup and rest.
You're making me.
I'm feeling like I'm getting a sore throat just by being on this thing.
I work so hard, Dan.
I know at not working hard.
Yeah.
Okay, why I never fly without wearing a hat?
Oh, boy, this is going to gross me out of it.
Ask me, what's the number one health hack I'm working on that no one else has thought of yet?
And I told them it has to do with wearing a hat, but specifically when flying on a hat.
What people have been realized is all the modern conveniences of a brand new flight, they make it so easy to fly and enjoy it.
It also means that the TV screen of the person behind you is in your headrest.
That means as you lie down and take your nap, you're sleeping on an EMF palm.
This is why so many people will complain that they have fatigue or even brain fog after getting off a flight, thinking that it's just normal jet, like when in fact it was because you took a nap on.
We all know you wouldn't use a television of a pillow at home.
I like this point. He goes, we all know you don't use a TV as a pillow when you're
home. I don't. Well, some people just, I'm tired. I'm going to take a flight to Chicago because I
never sleep better than on a in coach on an airplane. So an EMT bomb electromagnetic
that's why you're all sure effect. Have you ever been on a regular plane or just fly G6s
own a G6
I fortunately
unfortunately have gone on
private jets and I've also gone
on coach in a
regular plane too
so you do get a little spoiled
you're like you know
appreciate the patience
sir everybody we're going to hold
here at the gate when I went to Phoenix last week
okay we just locked up the cabin
you're fucking stuck here on the runway and
appreciate your patience it's a little
rainy in Arizona so we're going to
just not go for an hour
I'm like, who cares about rain, dude?
Everybody has kind of a comic, you know, the pilot.
We're going to ask you that.
Yeah, funny.
How low can you go before?
Appreciate your patience.
I like Kevin, I like your buddy.
I'm my buddy too.
He goes, he goes, well, my wife left me and things haven't gone well lately.
But we're going to get there.
Or maybe we won't.
Anyway, let's try something.
Here we go, loop to loop.
Everyone hold on.
I think that.
I've said this before, but I was in a small private jet going to a corporate date sitting in the back and we're full throttle down the runway and then they pull it back and then they peel off into the, and then they proceed to have a really ugly fight.
I thought they were actually going to come to blows.
The people, the pilot, there was two pilots and me alone and they pull off, they abort the takeoff and then they're fighting.
What the fuck, man?
He said, rotate.
Kate, you got, but you fucking, blah, you know.
So I'm thinking, well, I want to off the plane.
Like I know, no, it's good, man.
We're good.
We got it.
You know, you're on a plane, right?
Mm-hmm.
Was this the one I was going to ask you, maybe?
A guy gets up and he starts acting erratic.
Yeah.
And he says, I'm going to kill us all.
I'm going to open that door and we're going to all go down.
Do you step up and be a hero?
Yes.
I think I do too.
I think if I hit someone.
and he brushed it off like a fly but it would start everyone jumping in because i'd get beat up
but there's no way i'm going down without a fight yeah and i think that just generally speaking
with the people up there if in a plane if they see that it's an actual threat then i think
everybody just pretty much everyone gets adrenalized yeah and i think the first impulse
especially if one or two start to go is all you need is so much
to break the dam you know if you have mark walberg there he's already on top of him but i'd be right
behind he's probably not there yeah so i go and i get him and i go sleeper and then i go pile driver
i got douge got douge and he's like this but if they're saying things like they're going to take
the plane down even if they don't have a bomb or something you can't say that everyone's on high
alert you will be jumped and beaten up that's for sure right yeah yeah and you know i
maybe it's my own ego but i would hope i could talk them down very quickly hey hey hey you know
you don't want to do this right i mean what you had you had a you had a fight with your wife what's wrong
man hey i'll give up my seat in first class he's like this church lady you know you know the
joe dirt guy i heard you had a podcast with the joe dirt guy we you do joe dirt movie beginning to
yeah will you do fred wolf's part as in as the dj or the dj's friend the dj's friend no he was a tech guy or something
would you put on the church lay dress the wig and the glasses and dance for me then i won't make
the plane go down would you tell me about when you spent the night at the white house and you
saw barbara bush and her spanks walking around i love when dana i say something insane and
And he was, what the fucking tough?
Hold on a sec.
I mean, who has not seen Barbara Bush interspanx?
Oh, who has not seen Barbara Bush inner Spanx walk around the White House?
This was the common thing that we all knew.
We all saw it.
And I, of course, would walk around naked and go bowling in the Nixon bowling alley.
I'm Bill Clinton.
And everything you think I did, I didn't do any of it.
Fuck you all.
I'll bet you five pubs, I get a spare.
Hey, a little Casey, case him.
Well, geez, Scoob, David Spey said he would take care of anyone on an airplane.
Right, Scoop?
I'm sick.
It works with a sickness.
Yeah.
Oh, I got a horse voice.
All right, we should wrap it up because people got too much for their money today.
All we can say is have a good Christmas.
I'm sure you are listening
and watching this on Monday
the 20 second
yeah
the 20s
whatever Monday is
Dana's Santa is killing it
22nd
it's right there
yeah
UFC Santa Claus
Dana I should get you present
so afterwards we'll see if I got you something
the next show well i'll just be honest for my christmas shopping this what it looks like
i'm on amazon 995 okay all right uh humming hummingbird thing okay uh washcloths and i just blast out
i everyone gets like 10 gifts i'll spend a hundred dollars but they're christmas wrapped so it's
all that right amazon in what year did you think you could order and it comes the same day sometimes
crazy uh one of the biggest revolutions in history of man you could do so much stuff on
amazon uh full disclosure i own amazon as a stock full disclosure i don't own any stocks
that's crazy huh what are you fucking nuts i know i'm i have your same guy i don't know why he's
driving me into the poor house but it's fine i don't care that's here's someone who really
cares i don't care about money yeah and i don't encourage you think about
me and I totally don't care about your money like that's going to make you happy. Why do so many women
go up like that, Heather, and just go, I don't believe it. I mean, like, she was so cute and she knew
it. And I was like, what are you doing? And she was like, I don't know. I mean, it's in every
movie. I have relatives that did not grow up in Southern California and go like, I was so scared
and I was really looking good that day. My boots were fitting kind of tight. And I don't know.
why i just had them a half size down oh that sounds canadian sorry it's all false
i've lost lost control they're not being their real selves lately we're all a little fake at the
beginning all right dada you stay on i'm gonna say goodbye and yeah i'll do the ad so you just relax
okay you guys i'm walking out everyone give me a couple minutes to get to my car
Thank you, shades off.
Goodbye.
You're probably by.
Hey, guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are,
be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app.
Give us a review, five-star rating,
and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend.
If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe.
We're on video now.
Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey,
and executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade,
Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung Kaiser,
and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.
Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman,
and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech.
Booking by Cultivated Entertainment.
Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox,
Mora Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff,
Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry,
Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira.
Reach out with us,
questions to be asked and answered on the show you can email us at fly on the wall
at odyssey.com that's a ud-ac-ac-y-i-i dot com
