Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Robby Hoffman Could Make David Hot

Episode Date: September 10, 2026

Robby Hoffman joins the podcast this week to talk about making money after growing up in poverty, being an “opposite Ellen” and shooting her Netflix special, “Wake Up”. Also, David’s lack of shoe game, John Mulaney’s touring schedule, and ballsiness in comedy.

He dresses abysmally, and here's the thing. We all know he's in a $40 million house. We've all seen the aerial. And he's like trying to do the poor thing. It's like, bro, the jig is up. I want to take you shopping, even the hat shape on you. I want you. I know this hat.

I could make you. This one's not the bad. I could make you such a cutie with a few changes. I am a victim of the patriarchy, but I don't mind when women overshare. When men overshare, I feel like calling the police. It's kind of like when people who don't do stand up or don't do what they do to go, how do you do that? Aren't you so scared every day?

Like, and I go, for me, having a one-on-one with you is a worse time than me being on stage and feeling home. Robbie Hoffman. Robbie Hoffman. Yeah. Yeah, we've had some pistols. We've had some pistols on this show. She's really a pistol whip for me about my shoes. Yeah, coming in hot.

and she was on and funny and really interesting. So this is a good one. Yeah. She came to play and she seemed to have could have gone on for another hour. And she did have some issues with David's shoes. Shugga, yeah. So we get into that. If you ask me, but that's fine.

She's got a full head of steam full of bologna. Her work with Malaney, who we love Jalmeline, friend of the show. Friend of the show. show and and then just good stand-up interesting bits and a lot of fun i watch when i'm at the comedy story that's why i found out about her and uh here she is she'll blab it for you here's robbie hoffman are you in main no i'm in l-a i know is this not a room this is like my son room office slash gym my friend dan donnie who is supposed to put weights on that but i'm going to be doing lats and once I start my fucking lats, it's over for you fellas.

Yeah, fuck off. I'm gonna be doing these. Can I work in? If I had a gauntlet, I'd throw it down, man, because I love this stuff. I like lats. That's a good one. I know. I know.

I want to stretch. That's why we're doing the lats. But it hasn't worked because this needs weights. I didn't know that the machine doesn't come with the weights. Oh, so you got a weight machine, but no weights. It's like a light sucker with no light bulb. Isn't that crazy? Well, you're dressed kind of like rocky.

Oh, go on. You look like you're going to go for like a steam, you know, running in a steam shower or something. It's like a scam where they go, you got the weight set. And you go, oh, did you want the weights too? We can order those. You go. It's crazy. Wouldn't it come with it?

It's fucking. It's so, when I was, when I was newly. a lesbian. I was dating somebody much gayer than me at the time. I was still pretty and she liked skateboarding. So for her birthday, I must have been 17 years old.

I wanted to get her a skateboard. And I went to buy her a skateboard and it's like, I was like, I'll take a skateboard. And it was like, every piece was sold separately. Like, I remember they're like, here's the board. I'm like, I want one with wheels. Like I wanted to just go already, you know? Right.

Absolutely. Like, I want her to like be excited. Like, oh my God. Like, you know what I mean? And the wheels was 80. And then the attachment for the wheels to the board was 80. It ended up being like a freaking $200 thing. And I thought the whole thing was like 80.

Like it just blew my budget out the fucking water. Out the fucking wah-wa. If you, like, right. I was in this skateboarding. And you know what, Dana? This story checks out. Yeah, this story, it sounds like bullshit, but it checks out. Yeah, I ended up getting her a really nice long board, and it was like $200.

It's really build a bear. You go blankboard pay for trucks. Yep. Add wheels, add wheel, add tail blocker, grip tape. It is such a racket. And the guys at the store, it really is because it's like, The guys at the store, like, I'm trusting. I'm like, just tell me what's good.

Like, put one together that you would, I don't have time to learn this, that, and the other. You skate, what is a good, just put it together and sell like that. This is the best you could get to. I'm not, I don't want to do the IKEA version. Just give me this fucking thing. I can skateboard home. I know.

I know. I know. The weight machines from Amazon, it's the same thing. You're thinking you're buying a weight machine. the weights is separate. I don't know how to. Do the house come with doors where you're in? I mean, like, is this a pattern?

This is like a weird. This is like my office slash gym. Like this is MySpace. Terrarium. I love the light. The cat loves the treadmill. But so, yeah, this is like kind of, it could be indoor, outdoor, but I have a cat. The treadmill turns into a cat.

cat bed after two weeks. She loves the treadmill. Here's a question I have for you. Because of your poverty from the childhood, and I don't know your whole story, but are you kind of making extra money now because this special is fantastic and your tour dates? So how are you going to put it in the bank? Are you going to buy rolls or what is this like? Is this the first time you're kind of getting cash flow at a level where you're going

to start saving it? or not. I don't know. After you buy weights. It's a great question, Dana. No, literally it's over. But you know what? I've never been the overnight success. I may be new to, you know, people at your level. But I've always consistently, I would say for maybe, you know, 10 years. Yeah. I saw your story. I've been, I've been a working individual. So I would say for me that it happened very gradually. Yes, this is another pop off. And this is kind of a Hollywood pop off where I I'm getting a lot of like press opportunities and stuff that I didn't do before.

That, that, that, you know, certainly have been helpful. This is a big. But, um,

yeah, this is like a big bump. But I've always had like kind of the audience with me. I've always been able to make money. Not always, but for a long time consistently, um, being able to,

to make money, um, being responsible with my money. I mean, I, I do have a Rolex. It's a 1991. It's a base base.

It's under an O.P. For my watchheads out there, it's the Air King. It's not really a desired Rolex. To me, a Rolex is Rolex. And I got this already maybe seven years ago when I sold my first script. My brother Levy always gave me good advice about treating yourself. My older brother, Levy's got kids. And he's always like, yeah, he's always like, you know, he takes care of his family and stuff.

But he said one thing for me is like, I'm taking my kids. to school, like, I want a lease a good car. Like, I like a Lexus or an Audi. Like, he wants a nice car that he's, yes, he's taken care of his family, but like he wants the car that he wants. And he said, you take a little off the top. So I maybe made $65,000 for the first script I ever sold, which was a year's salary, at least for me at the time.

And I took $3,000. Clear $2,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I bought a little vintage piece to commence. commemorate the project because it was a family project of my, this is when my sister was born. So it was, it's stuff like that. Like I've slow. And then I know, I don't, I don't have another one, you know, I then just, once I have

my watch, I don't have to think about it forever until it really, if it really falls apart. But this is always repairable, which I appreciate. So I've had that sort of thing. In terms of now, I'm at the point, yeah, I save, I mean, I rent. I save. I have a little country house, a little writing cabin up north. But I don't buy in the city. I'm not, I'm a little, I don't know.

It just seems like a lot. Yeah, in L.A. or New York, I like renting. And I've been able to help my family a little bit. And that's been tremendous. It's very hard to help my family. I tried to help my mother. For instance, they're not living in squalor. at all. They're doing good, but they could use, you know, I'm always calling to, yeah. So, but my mother,

when I tried to talk to her about a new house because she lives with my niece and, you know, they have a blended family. I said, you know, it'd be nice if you had your own bathroom. You know, you live with a six-year-old during your 60s. She's six. You guys are fighting over the bathroom. You know, it's like it would be nice in your menopause years that you have your own bathroom. So she, that sounds good to her. She can maybe think about having her own bathroom. But then I found a beautiful house, three bedroom, two bathroom. I said it one bathroom. The three people one bathroom. And, uh, and she goes, well, you know, you know, because my bus comes right here. I say, okay, she doesn't have a license. I'm then tracing the bus routes in but fuck nowhere Canada.

With Zillow. Looking at her bus route. Yeah. I'm like, oh, okay. So I find another three bedroom, two. bath on the bus route she goes no by the time I get on the bus there's not going to be no seats so it's like she needs to be early on the bus route so she can have a seat on the

way to the library like it's like it's been very trying to help people who don't want to sit in a bad seat for a new fucking house how about that not her you think you think I know my home is so sweet but sometimes when they're setting

about their dogs or something you see the importance level goes up in some areas than others. But that's the way it is. That's okay. But my family's also done very well. A lot of my siblings do very well. So it's like, but we've been consistently and slowly building. You know, I'm again, it is another bump.

But I've had so many of these bumps along the way, from my first script to my first Canadian special to my first then American Netflix. expect, you know, it's, I've, they're all like a big break when people ask you go, well, this at that time was my biggest break. I got in a Canadian special. After that, my next biggest break is this. And that got me to where I never thought it'd be. How We Made Your Mother is the How I Met Your Mother rewatch podcast with me, Josh Radner, and

Siri's co-creator Craig Thomas. Well, our guest today is the great Bob Oden Kirk. I want to tell you that cast, Allison and Kobe and Neil and Jason and you, you were so up deed and gung-ho, the spirit that you guys had was like, I actually thought it was like, are you being, are you mocking this? Are you being sarcastic? Follow how we made your mother wherever you get your podcasts. Where in Canada are you, Halifax area? Well, I'm in L.A. now, but no, Montreal.

Yeah. Montreal. I speak French. It's too random. Yeah, Jean-Jacques, Canadian? Are you Canadian? Are you Canadian? No, Montana, but my wife's Canadian. I thought it was a Canadian.

A lot of Estonel people are Canadian, and people think I am in Dana, but it's really Norm. I was close to the Canadian border. Lauren is Canadian too. I just want to say I loved your special. I really loved it. Oh, thank you. I'm a comedian, so I rarely can make it past 10 minutes.

even with a great special. Yours was so different. I'm going to say it. It was fresh. You went places that nobody goes. And you did it with such charm. I just appreciate all the rhythms, all the little, what the fuck?

I appreciate all the writing of it. And your whole vibe on stage, I like the way it was filmed. But what was John Mullaney? Yeah. What the fuck is that guy all about? Who is John Marley? You know what? I'll say this. He, you know, he's a good guy. Listen, he's had everybody's been through

their own journeys and stuff. He's come out, correct. And he's the kind of guy that I didn't know that somebody so buttoned up and this even knew who I was or would would fuck with somebody like me. I've kind of always just trying to do my own thing, you know, with the people. I've always have an audience building and doing that, but not sure how these kind of guys would, would, you know, would accept me or would, you know, want to work with me. You never know what they're really like either. They might be like fake. I think we all get it.

We just all get it. Yeah. If you're good, you're good. Great standup is just I don't care what. And I was, I was watching you do a couple of these bits. And I'm like, oh, fuck, there's a lot going on here. But I like that you're kind of ballsy because you're doing some stuff that I wouldn't do. I mean, I laugh at.

it but I go that stuff's really good really interesting yeah well thank you yeah he called me out of nowhere and said a lot of this stuff and said you know if I want to do a special I said of course I would be tremendously helpful if he helped me with that and and he did so I have it's unbelievable that's another one of those huge breaks him putting his weight behind me it just means the world to me and in terms of the ballziness and whatever else you know I don't, you know, I, I can get away, you know, it's like at this point, it's like, well, what are you going to do? It's Robbie Hoffman, you know. So it almost worked to my advantage now. Like, it's kind of like, I didn't mean to say these things that were so, but now that I, I have,

I kind of still can. You know what, Robbie, I think what happens is it's baked in with you. And so it's, it's all the way you are on the way up. So your fans, one at a time. are okay with it or the ones that aren't just go away. So by the time these people are coming to your show, they already know it on the way. I'm not going to say Theo or Tim Dillon, but there's people that like get away with more stuff because from the ground up,

now if I switched one day and started doing a whole different type, then it perks up ears and go, hey, what are you doing? What the fuck? And so it's a little different situation, but I kind of am envious of this way because you're just one way all the way, like it or not, and then it works. And then people go, now I like it because you're not really apologetic. I don't think.

I don't hear too many apologies in there. No, and the thing is, is I could be wrong. I could be out of line. Like, I'm not, like, you know, and it's not like sometimes I'm afraid to say something. I wish I didn't have the thought. You know, I joke like I have a joke about the pedophiles, you know. I don't want to have this thing, but I wish I never knew about pedophiles. but now I know about it.

I have a thought about it. Like, I'm scared too to talk about this. Doesn't mean that I don't have to do it. You know, but there's something to what you just said, um, David about, yeah,

always being like that. I think, yeah, if you, it's kind of like when I saw Ellen being canceled for being mean. Yeah, sure, there's a lot of people who are mean and who like,

that's not even okay. Right. But she was like, her big thing was, I'm nice, I'm nice and nice. Right. So I'm like opposite Ellen, you know, and I joke about that, but it's also true to what

you're saying. It's like I am, I come off aggressive. I'm a little rough around the edges. You know, but I'm actually a fucking delight to work with. You know, it's like you're going to find out about me that I'm kind. Not with her, if you set up, you're kind, you're kind, you're dancing, you're nice. And then your anything goes wrong, boom. It's, you know, it's, you know, it's funny because.

Ellen can be like, hey, I gave $5 million to this charity. And then they go, but the staffer said they're not allowed to eat Doritos. They're like, what a cunt. So she's got nice, nice, and it can go either way where it just takes a little. And the problem is when you get these bad stories out that everyone's scared of, like, someone will say this about you, someone, and the piling on after it. Now, if other staff people and then people come out of the woodwork and go, oh, yeah, that person, was this to me too, then that's really where it starts, the weight of that starts to pull you down.

That's the tough part. I think that's what happened. Yeah, and I think there's still, you know, not to make it all about this. And I'm also very, as much as I joke about identitarian politics or things like that, you know, there's something to be said. I think that women and black people and all of these people get so much more canceled still. You know, it's easy to pile on onto an Ellen and a Roseanne. I'm not excusing their behavior. Just to make examples of them doesn't feel like an accident.

It feels like a pattern to the extent that they get bombarded, you know, or overly. they are everything focused towards that they become the example you know and it's not listen it's not a full proof

theory of mind but it feels that way when you see the pylons and you see people who have done much less and have a more forgiving arc

rock and roll in the old days of all the like bragging about the young girls and rapping and that whole world both those world there was no real

that many cancellations if any it's sort of got a grandfather or something because you know there's some sketchy shit and the music business, of course. But another thing is, the other thing with it too is like, yeah, it reached a tipping point. We're now kind of a post cancellation. Thank God. And we're having better conversations about it.

But it also exposed this, you know, this punishing fetish that America had or that the world had, you know, which also was being questioned. Like, why do we have such a pile on or punishing fetish? we love that. Interesting term. So it was something venomous that was also exposed and we're able to talk about it and see it now. But anyway, this is a deeper. I don't know if I'm like. No, you are.

Like it's interesting conversation. I have on a lighter note, speak of being punished, I know my shoe game is a bit off. And Dana, I don't know if I told you this, but Robbie who, you know, bravely volunteered to me how bad my fucking shoes are.

And who I barely know and we're backstage. And I think she's very funny. But I do like her enough to let her beat me up of my shoes. And then I think it's funny. Do you remember this? It's fucking true. Oh, yeah. No,

he dresses abysmally. And here's the thing. Well, Robbie back up. He's in a $40 million house. We've all seen the aerial. Nobody hasn't seen the aerial images of David St. Every 10 years,

there's like some story. There's no store. David's made decorated the third living room in his fucking house. Okay. So you click on it. Oh, my God. He's living well. Oh, I love that guy.

Okay, so perfect. So you're happy. You're looking at the house. You're like, wow, he knows how to live. Like, okay. And then you meet him. And he's like trying to do the poor thing. It's like, bro, did jig us up?

I'm trying. I'm like, I'm so broke. I live on the street. It's insane. No, here's the truth is, listen, Adam was hocus every day. If I had his money, I'd throw mine away. Adam is it's purely budgetary that he dressed at casual. Who's Adam?

Samler does not have the money to dress different. This is purely budgeted. By the way, he's wearing $200 basketball shoes. I don't see him in. You are wearing. I know. Don't say A6. You are wearing.

I don't know why you're, it doesn't even matter. They're like this. Like, I feel like your toe is coming through the shoe, like kids. They're like Bart Simpson black skateboard shoes or something. I know.

Listen, you were actually, you sort of couch. it a bit when you told me. You gave me a few compliments on the way down. And then you were like, listen, you seem like a good guy. You don't look super old. You're not that beat up. You have a few jokes. Then you're like, and then we get to this and it fucking ruins everything. Takes it all away. I want to take you shopping. Even the hat shape on you. I want you. I know this hat. I can make you. This one's not that bad. I could make you such a cutie with a few changes.

I like this. I like this. I know Dana. That's what I said. Put the venom of No, no. I think Dana's doing it perfect. Dana looks cutie. I just wear Gap t-shirts. I'm like 10 of these. That's it. Perfect. But going the other way with Dana.

Here's, you need to go in. You're a very, I like that where we're going with this. And a makeover for David because, you know, I have thoughts, but it's not my place. Everyone has the quiet thought. But you can say it. I can't. She can't say it. She shouldn't say it.

So anyway, we walk out. Then we got caught outside with Whitney and Dan. Levy, we're all talking. And it all started up again. And now I'm like starting to spin, like going, oh my God, it's too much. It was fun for a while. Now I'm getting sweaty and I'm like, I got to get out of here. So I went home and took all my shoes and hugged them. Oh, you didn't see that coming. I hugged him and said, I miss you. How many shoots do you have? I have over three pair. He has a very large closet. Lisa used to. It feels like you've got to go out of your way to find a shoe like the shoe you're all

I know but then I talk to a girl really cute girl I knew and she said I can't stand this guy he's talking about his shoe game if you tell me the word shoe game when you're with me I'm out she was just so it depends but I do think shoes are very important to women on a guy

and I 100% whiff and it's I agree but when guys get too into the shoe game then it's another form of weirdness of course nobody's asking for two into anything. Yeah, thank you. We're asking for one good pair from a man who is a 40 million dollar house. Like I'm not, I don't feel like I have no money left. You know, it's all went into the house. I went into my fucking windex. It's insane. In a house like that is

everything like is stuff so not visited that like it doesn't work? Like you know what I mean? when you go to like the hot tub, is it out? Or is everything functioning all the time in the house? The problem is when you have any sort of house that's over one bedroom. Like I finally go, oh,

I used to have a jacuzzi. People would use it every three months. I go in there, oh, it doesn't work. We'll get the guy. I'm like, well, it really just needs to work twice a year or something. Never.

And then you go, oh, and the AC's broken. Oh, the lights. There's so many newfangled things. I just miss. I miss light switches. I wrote him. I took it all the way to dimmers and then now I'm out. I don't want it to go past dimmers because

it gets so complicated with keyboards and shit with everything. And it's going worse. It's harder. We have enough inventions. Stop, stop. I like a house a little more simple. A couple rooms. That's why I like an old car. I drive a 25 year old car. A Porsche, mind you. But I like a technical, like, you know, I watch this, this. It's my grail car. and I've been working up to it for 10 years, trading up for it. So I'm really still excited about it. I've had it for a few years, but I still love it. And I will love it until, you know, the wheels fall off, so to speak.

But I watched this program called Surviving Death. That was a clinical look at the science of death for the first time. They had neurologists and psychologists and just really, really fascinating documentary. Yeah, no, they had, they had like, you know, near-death experiences and reincarnation. And the big takeaway from this series was that it was all about our time is limited. You know, like, we don't like our time is limited. So find out what's, you know, the material world is fleeting. Find out what's important and really hang on to that.

Relationships and love and stuff like that. But my takeaway was like, if the material world is fleeting, let me have stuff while I can. Not too much, but a couple good things. I like going in the car and moving the AC like this. the cliquity and I like the tactileness of life. I like touching things and being with things. So the removal of that, I don't know. It's so, until this is the human connection.

Like, why is it all those pads? Like we didn't really, people like a button. Like even when you're a kid and you run to the elevator, you want to press the button. That feeling never goes away to press a button. How about you get in a car and they have a 48 inch. screen. It's bigger than when I have my house and you're like, I can't just see the road.

It's like, dish, dish, dish, dish. I don't know what's going on. They have backup. Steve Jobs would roll over. Roll over. If he saw the Tesla with a tacked on iPad because he would say we're not even putting out till it's integrated into the dash. Thank you.

Ghetto, yeah. You know, Steve Jobs would be rolling in his turtleneck. It would be backwards. He really would. And it wouldn't be able to tell. It's crazy what we've done. Aren't we just Between the software revolution and these kinds of, you know, the phone and then AI, we're going to be able to just talk conversationally and everything will be fixed. To a fake person. Hey, fix this air conditioner, you know.

Aren't you really heavily? Yeah, AI's all the rage. If they do get personal, like I do, I mean, we might have to cut a lot from this podcast. Like the only, like they showed that AI robot, so mixing both the immaterial with the AI functions, obviously. I feel like it could be good for like pedophiles. You give them like a kid robot. He could be like a hot. You say go to town.

Get it all out on that. Or like a chlamagne-a type of fine. You give it to the pedophiles. We don't want them out here. You give them, you want the chambane, you want them a culli. Whichever one you want. I don't know. Yeah.

Unless they're robots. Circa, Home Alone, one. Yeah. Like, I think there is a, you know, there could be, but beyond that, the function of them seems just terrifying. I don't know if that's the first. Well, that's true. It is a threat. We've seen the movies.

That's the only application I could see it being helpful towards society. I found one. By the way, they're really kind of wasting time before the old curing cancer. It's like a lot of a bunch of bullshit. I know. It's like, come on, guys. That's the number one. They're building the data centers.

Just wait. Data center out of the blue. They're like, oh, by the way. a thousand data centers. They need to stack so many chips in this thing and then you plug it into something. You're going to get a super brain. It's going to solve energy. And I apologize about money for a sec.

I love to talk about that. Money, let's say, in a checking account or no, all into investments or you have some money in a checking account. There's always some free cash, but mostly it's invested. Are you? And you don't, it's not like we mostly don't keep physical. cash. You have it digitally, right? I have a friend who has 200,000 cash in his closet, but I don't keep that much cash.

I feel like I'm trying to do that because don't you think that like warfare, besides it being chemical warfare like gases and nuclear war, there's going to be digital warfare. Yeah, that's definitely more. There's more possibility of that. It's all on a screen. Isn't that terrifying, though. Of course. That's why they make us go to that and that's the first thing they flip a switch. They go, we want your cars all electric. Then they just unplug them. You go, what, where? Literally. Well, and then they're listening to us and studying us like insects. But yeah, I look at my screen and I'll see what I have in the investments, but one day I can wake up and it says zero. But we have a business manager. It is psycho. It is real.

What happens if you one day Armageddon, you can't wake up your job and a robot. Well, I know for those people. I mean, and by the way, rest in peace. Okay, I'm not, I don't know what the, I know. I'm trying to think of the, you know, what these people are like braille? What's their pinup?

You know, if that's, you know, what's the, I'm a lesbian. What's my, what's my pinup, you know, maybe. Yeah, what is it? So that's what I'm trying to think. I don't know who they like, but I would start with, with those two dolls and we could go. To see how they sell?

Yeah. I like it as a business plan. I think Shark Tank, you could at least present it. We all see. At least you never know. Oh my God, sharks, guess what we came up with? Okay. This episode will get us.

Yeah. Listen, we were talking about this and you're getting in trouble. I might actually one day wake up and something will actually get me in trouble. This could be it with the fellows. No, no. And I would blame both of you. What about bisexual guys? What about, what, are you thinking about it, Dave?

No, I was thinking that I thought you kind of, I thought your thoughts were maybe there's no such thing as bisexual. Well, even if you're a bisexual, my thought is this, women aren't into it. I would think that. You mean if you're women are I and you say, I want to date you, just so you know, I also date dudes. Yeah, women don't want that. I don't, I wouldn't think that. I would agree. There's a lot of emo.

I said at my actor today, I go, I'm over 40, but the only good thing about me is you know I'm straight. And when you say under 40, I feel like these actors and actors, you go, I dated this guy for a year. And I guess he's gay. And you go, it's always a little blurrier now. And then when you get up to like old guys, they go, well, at least I know. I mean, I'm not great. That's my motto. We don't need to know everything about you.

So if you're bisexual, women don't like them. First of all, we don't need men in self-discovery necessarily. We know a lot about you. You've been at the helm of systems for centuries. You've created a lot of the world. We hear you. You have, you've had your shot.

Yeah. Okay. Women are now to be like, like, like, like, let them do some imprint. Let them talk to sexuality and all this because they don't, we don't really, we're kind of sick of it. Like men have had a big run,

a big go of things. tremendous run. You don't need to know. A big bisexual. Anything further about you. Yeah. Like that is something. Men are done.

It's like the little sister, Yehutis always says, you know, she was invited to a bachelorette at Disney. And she said, you know, if you're a grown up who likes Disney, there's some things you keep to yourself.

Such thing is a private life. Yeah. That's always, I totally agree. I mean, there's nothing wrong with having a bit of a private life. Not everybody needs to know everything.

It's kind of gone these days. I mean, I see girls getting on TikTok. talking about their date at night and you go the FBI couldn't get this out of me with a gun to my head. And they're like, anyway, I was on my period. I threw my tampon at the guy and I'm like, what are you talking about? Why are you telling the world this? And you get like, it's got like 900 clicks.

You're like, 900 likes for this. And you're, it's ruined your life. So see, that I would share. I don't mind when women overshare. I do mind when men overshare. It's crazy when men. me, you know, I'm literally, I'm a victim of the patriarchy, but I don't mind when women overshare. When men overshare, I feel like calling the police. Like, I don't need a man

oversharing. Like, women own oversharing. Like, that's our thing. So, you know what I mean? How would you find, how would you define masculinity? I couldn't. You couldn't. But just, I know what's coming off. I just, I know what's something. I just, I know what's something, I couldn't define it, but I know when I'm not liking something of it. That's a good way to put it. Can you kind of feel how much women are winning in America? As far as college, college, advanced college degrees. Yeah, but college was a scam.

Well, I agree with that. I get up to that. The jig is up. That's getting scammer by the day. Oh, my God. College is done. Forget the skateboard. I don't even want my talk about.

Do you have a girl, you have a daughter who's college age? Did she go to college? Exactly. We're talking about it. We're talking about college. Now I have to look even sharper going, what is this college all about? What do they teach? I never had my eye on the ball.

Does she want to go to college? I think she does now. Yeah, she didn't for a little bit. Now she does. What's she going to do? I mean, her dad is, she doesn't really have to do much. I'm a closed book. Well, she does want to go.

She doesn't want to act because I'm sure this is another thing is like, I could probably. wiggle her way into a line or two and something, but it's just such a false premise of how showbiz is. It's so, it's funny because parents usually don't want their kids to be in the business they're in because they know all the secrets. And so I'd rather have her go, you should be a carpenter, even though I'm sure they would say never. It's a horrible life. But I don't know about it. But when you say showbiz, you go, a cute girl, and it's just a tough biz anyway. And it's sort of having a lot of trouble lately. Ten years ago, it was a little more.

a heyday with showbiz, more production, more this, more of that. Now it's, yeah, there's more people who know broke from it and you go, no, it's terrible. It was being Robbie writing and doing all this stuff. You just went at it in a different angle. You weren't waiting to get hired. If you're a stand-up, then you're in charge of that. Then you're writing script. I have to make, like take care of one person.

You know, I've tabled my little sister when she, you know, moved out. we all moved out sort of early, you know, maybe 18, 19, 20. And I don't know. She was going through it. And I was like, you know, and it's a thankless job. Like you're in school. You're working. Just because you don't have a baby, doesn't mean you're only dependent.

You actually have a 19-year-old dependent. It's you. You have to make sure you're well-fed. You're fulfilled. You're all this stuff. So I've always had that mentality of I have to take it. Like, if I can just make enough money, like no chance like this, I just need to make a little.

little business. I need to make just to cover me. And it's very, very difficult, but more manageable. If I could, oh, how can I get $2,000 doing this? And I'll drive that. Like, and I would always get it together by really thinking about what can I bring in. And also, you know, but you need all of it. You need luck, talent and hard work. You need all. Also, you are a road hog. I don't know if you're a road dog. You're on the road right now, I think. I go on the road because. And I talked to Mullaney about this because I see him adding dates. I start to worry about him because he's a great standup. He's a monster on the road.

But I go, dude, are you taking enough time to just take it easy on your body? All the flying. I mean, I know he's got an extravagant way to go around in nice hotels, but it's still a beating. So it's terrible. But he's like, it's the only job nowadays that you can say, I show up. They give you money. And 90% of this, 99% of this career is like, A movie. Oh, it got pushed. Oh, I got money to write it, but they never did it. Oh, this pilot's not picked up. So to say, I book 10 gigs. Now I know if I just show up and do it, I get money that night or whatever. That's what people are liking about stand-up now. They're winning doubt. Like I go-

I've always had both. I've always, I've always just not stack too many things in one basket because I am the person who would be drained by that. My tour is, very leisurely. The first leg of it, we did eight cities. I'm now doing 18, which feels insane to me. But it's 18 over six months, really. Like, I don't, I do one or two weekends and then I'm home for two weeks because I'm acting or writing. And yes, I might not make immediate money now on this thing, but everything feeds the business. Yeah. That all is out here. Yeah. I'm trying the same thing. We're developing an animated Joe Dird Show. Hopefully that works. We're doing writing a movie with Dan Levy. And then you've got the movie I'm doing right now. But this one takes a while to put together just to do it now.

And then we do this or that. You're just throwing everything against a wall because you just don't know. So many things fall through. Yeah. And I'm happy that I've had like a long like time to like develop skills and like, oh, when I start writing like I take that very seriously when I'm doing that. When I do stand up, I take that very seriously. I'm doing a few. I'm not doing many things. I don't post clips and I'm not somebody like that and I respect people whose game is that and they do that well. But what I do do, I try and do very well. I do a few things at an expert level

and just by honing in on those. But I'm grateful that it's come on slowly. It's kind of like when you think of, sometimes you have an idea and it's just a tweet. Sometimes you have an idea and it's a bit for stand-up. Sometimes you have an idea and it's a feature. Sometimes I have an idea. It's a script.

Okay. And then they have different immediacies. Right? If I have a joke idea, I can go to the store tonight. I can run that immediate feedback. If I have a script, I might not. That's a, that's a longer game. Everything I do gives me something different. People used to ask me, do I prefer to write in a room or write my own stuff? When I'm in a room, it's different. I don't give a fuck. I throw out ideas. I'll have, if you don't like these ideas, I'll have 10 more tomorrow. Right. I'm not personal about it. My own show, I am a little more personal. I am more involved. I do feel mad. to ideas a little bit more. I care about things. So it's nice to toggle. I think for me, the differences I do like, I'll do the road and then I'll be home and I'll have deliveries due on writing or I'll be acting.

And it's nice to, for somebody like Malenian, I don't want to speak to him. Yeah. And he's totally right in his, what works for him works for him. He also is very open with his like addiction and, you know, he's been very vulnerable talking about all that stuff. I think there are people like that. Like, this is a very good regimen for somebody like that. Like to us, it looks crazy. Right. I get what he's doing. Yeah. I've got something like him. You got something funny. You know, I've never done drugs. So I don't know. But for somebody like that, maybe that is the way to keep accountable. Right. Your your days are busy.

Sure. I have to be here. You're paid. You provide for your family. It's a nice. It's kind of like my brother, one of my brothers has some mental illness. And he's like religious again. Now, he's not maybe the most but it keeps him up. He has to pray. Then he has to put his shoes. There is something to what he's doing for him that I think works on a deeper level.

I agree. That, you know, we all find our own way to work. Also, it's very tough. Like I'm saying also, I couldn't do it. That's a young man's game. No, same. It's not for me. I run the road across the country for 75 bucks. I would do anything and I'm just flying in shitty hotels

and 20, 30 years of that shit and then you go, I got a Florida pick and choose a little bit and it's still hard when I go out, because you know, when you're playing Chattanooga and Mobile and you're doing a little smaller good cities, but they don't have a huge hotel. You just go, I got a

sucks, the shittles. Chatanooga, fuck you. I love you, but you know you're going to dumb. Does I wrong? I'm going to die. It is what it is. That's your next special. Chatmoo Fuck you. But you can't be sitting in chat and be like, this is the greatest city in the world.

You know it's not. We know it's not. Let's be honest. I can't believe you came here. Thank you for coming to our Chili. Exactly. Exactly. They know it.

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It would be exhausting for me, but it's kind of like when people who don't do stand-up or don't what they do, they go, how do you do that? Aren't you so scared every day? Like, and I go, for me, having a one-on-one with you is a worse time than me being on stage and feeling home. Going on a date is a worst time to doing an hour in front of strangers. Like for me, it's very natural. It doesn't feel like a push.

It feels like so natural. So for different people, even though yes, we're all stand-ups and we're all artists and we're all what, we have our own ways of doing things that feel more now. to us. So when I see somebody with a different process, for instance, I have friends who blew up with clips and I really respect them. You know, I see other people shitting on them, everything's online. I am all about, if you figure it out how to get your bag, however you did it, I know how hard it is. So they do something totally different than me. We're both comedians, but they maybe do a ton of crowdwork clips that get them huge audiences and all that stuff. And it's maybe not what I do,

but I respect what they do for them. I could never do it, but it doesn't mean they can't. Right. I think Nate is probably got the best non-crowdwork clips that pushed him to another dimension because he's doing his real act,

but he will write another hour. And that's the hard part and the pressure of like burning a great joke online and going in my head, I want to see that when I go see him. But to the general consensus out in L.A., it's like, you have to just write a whole new act. I'm like, but what about those jokes? Everyone loves like songs. You go,

fuck, I got to give him a new one. Because I've seen people do new stuff and I'm like, well, I wish they did the ones I remember. But you know what? I'm also maybe, I don't know Nate's process so much. I met him and he was so kind. So that's all I can say about him. But I've actually met him twice and he was so kind both times, which she didn't have to be. But you know, you kind of don't expect people to be kind anymore. But when they, you know, are it is lovely um uh and i don't know i guess i do write a lot also um so maybe it's not as hard for like maybe he throws things up and he also like i always have ideas and when i don't have ideas like i don't need to do like i haven't worked it so i need to have a new like when stuff

comes to me it comes to me yeah you know and then it's ready like i don't push anything necessarily I guess some people do. It eventually turns a new, new act because you're just doing, you're adding, and then you lose a bit you're sick of. You know, you're not doing your bit about the space shuttle anymore when the past half died. You finally got rid of that one. But also, I don't have that other element of like the clipping and everything. So it's like to see me, you have to see me. Or you wait until it's a special or something.

So I also accidentally, that worked out for me. It seemed like stupid. You know, people are like, you, Rob, you should clip this. Like I have friends who make clip and they're like, Bobby, let me click this for you. This is going to go. And I'm like, I get it. As soon as I know the camera's on me, I'm going to be nervous.

I don't like it. I don't like it. And even though I do it all the time of the camera, I'm still more nervous. I still don't like it. I never got used to it in the back. It's like running on the treadmill. I never got used to it.

No, I don't get a runner's high. I don't have any of that. I could do it for six months straight and hate it every single time. I never like it. I will do it, but it does not get easier for me. So, so, so that's how I feel about, you know, I don't know how we. Well, you got your special, so we would do still, you still do stuff from your special, don't you? Because it's good. No. That's in the car. You have a new hour that you're going to be doing? I do. But by the time I had my special, I had three hours. Oh, really? Like, I also

haven't put anything out. Okay. Yeah. So, and I think a lot and the world is changing a lot. There's always stuff to talk about. And this is the perfect job for me because I talk too much. I do have too many thoughts. I have to pick him about everything, whether I know about it or not.

What are the topics of your current set? Because the topics of this set were very provocative. Yeah. So your current set. You'll come see. You'll see. Oh, see. Are you playing any casinos?

We're in a lot of places where I don't even know. You don't know what you're talking. It doesn't matter. Hold on. I'm getting it up. It's online. Oh, you're looking for your tour days?

Okay. Because the rooms got bigger? Okay. They're massive now. And I'm doing whatever shows I can. Remember, I am one person. No, I'm not adding a sixth show. Okay.

Do you bring anyone to open? No. whoever's there can come open. Okay, I'm in Newark. It's sold out. I'm in Urbana. There's a few tickets. Nirvana.

In Illinois. Maryland, Columbia, it's a festival. East Hampton sold out. Chicago sold out. Milwaukee sold out. Chicago sold out. Chicago sold out. Michigan, Detroit, sold out.

There's a few tickets to the second show. I'm in Durham. Low-ticket warning. This doesn't sound like eight. There's a few tickets. Well, there's a few tickets. It's going to be sold. They never say any higher.

They never say lots of tickets. What are these 300 cedars? Because your special was a 300 seater. No. Yeah, the special was a 300 and evens. What are you up to now? Are you in Chicago theater? That's 3,000.

Yeah, I do about three, three to five now. Five. Wow. Well, it depends how big the venue is. It's funny because when I did my special, Dana, they go, I said I want to do it Largo or something. They go, no, do it in a big theater to show people. I sell out theaters.

I go, it doesn't matter. People will come or they won't. They don't have to go. Well, I thought that I could get 300 in my special, but actually the cameras took up so much. I know. It was like, I couldn't believe it. And it felt so last minute. And I was like, oh, my God.

Like, there's not, like, I can't believe we're losing so many people. They call the cameras. Right. It worked. I thought. Thank you. No, in the end, they did a really good job. And I think we pushed out to the camera.

Good laugh track. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, right away. Somebody did say, you know, what's annoying me is the laugh track on this or whatever. There was, no, that's how much laughs I was getting. So I'm just letting you know. If you do a special, you get a good crowd, it's almost impossible to get your best crowd on a tape night.

We've always talked about this. There was, you know, there's laughter. My crowds are really good, though, to me. But you got some real pops, and that sounds different. You can't fake the real pops of audience laughter. it's sort of a kind of gutter roll next level. I put these laughs in mine after every joke. Anyway, I don't see any problems in your life.

You seem like you're at a 10. I mean, I really am living one of the greatest lives I've heard about recently and it happens to be mine. I'm very grateful. I love that. I'm very grateful. I always wanted such a good life.

You're going to get your weights. Things are going to all start. Was your childhood really that difficult or is it just sort of fanciful to say, It was a shithole. My mother was a single mother of 10 kids. But I will say that I... Ten kids. I know.

I know. I read 10. But I was, but I did think like I got to get to, if by 30 I'll know if I'm good or not. Like now I'm well into my 30s, but no, but if I'm okay financially or if I, if I'm still poor or on welfare, things like this. And then I already knew at 30 like, oh my God, I'm having such a good life. Robbie.

I wasn't on welfare. So it was a really good sign. I have an observation about growing up. When you, it's funny because I see these people when I grew up, I was kind of broke and I had these families that were broke. And I thought they're rich because they had so much shit in their house, but they're just like hoarders. You know, there's a difference. That's why it's like when you go, I got a lot of stuff in the house. It's not always a good thing.

Sometimes these houses in Beverly Hills are like, it's like a pillow fucking store. It's just like pillows, pillow. You're walking through someone's house going, holy fuck, there's nowhere to ruin. There's nowhere to go because they've, over the years, have accumulated so much furniture and stuff. My house is more airy now. It's like, holy shit. I just want to walk around like a loft or something. My question is this.

Whose house, nicest house you've seen? It's a good question. Give me 10 minutes. Hold on. That I've been in like, um, Ted Sarandos, wouldn't it be? Yeah, he had a great one. When I went and tried to write stuff for Ellen's special,

I went to her house and she had a big fat, juicy house. She actually has amazing house taste. Yeah. Her decor. Also, my favorite, and David, have what I told you first

and I'll say to her, it's worth ending on, you were my favorite guy. You were so good on Ellen's show all the time. Yeah, that's true. You were really good on, like,

I know that like, okay, being a guest on a show, but it's like, yeah, there's thousands of guests, and you were always the funny, like,

she would have her I love watching her laugh. Yeah, she was a great crowd for me. She would just say, come on, I don't want to do anything. I'm just going to ask you one thing and just talk for 15 minutes. And those are hard because you have to come up with at least scenarios to talk about. Like, and they have to come up on. Great storytelling and kind of these little throwaways slightly self-deprecating.

You just got on a real frequency with Ellen. Yeah. I still watch those interviews because you find them on YouTube. and they're so like if somebody doesn't know like oh what's spayed up to i will show them that and they're like wow he's so funny that's so nice i'm like it's crazy at minute 54 a compliment coming on yeah thank you let me let's go shopping one day you know what i haven't been to the beverly center i think she could help you beverly center is perfect and they have a food court now no literally locker there we can go no they have a food hey man i see kind of a budding friendship here i know i don't i

I have to say, I haven't known her long, but it did crack me up that on day one, she was making fun of my shoes backstage in front of witnesses, power players. You want to meet people and you want to look up to them. You know, you're somebody I looked up to Tommy Boy. Dude, why did you know, like Joe, I remember, you know what I mean? Yes. And so you want to meet them and you want them to be living good lives, right? Like you want to go like, oh my God, look how good his life is, right?

And then when I see this show, I go, what's your friend? What the fuck? I want to help. Somebody helps. Why is no one in the green room saying anything? Why can he have a shoe on his fucking foot? Why do I have to get here and meet idols and they're not living like idols? How can I dream?

If he's still fucking homeless shoe, how can I dream? What hope is there for me? I saw the disappointment in your eyes when you scan me. Everything was going great and you go, what the fuck? It was like slow motion. What the fuck? Get the fuck. I love you going to shopping with you.

Everyone piled on when you said that. Everyone couldn't wait to start jumping on me about it. Because it's like your life will be like, like you could be better so easily and you choose not to. It's straight out my life. I know. And it's crazy. It's such an avatage.

It's such an easy fix. You could be better that you choose not to. I love it. I will take this in some positive way. I don't know how, but I will. It's like my sister told me about makeup. It's like you, but better. It really affected me.

It really affected me. I can't even tell you a makeup on right now, by the way. No, I'm saying when I do shows, I'll put blush, so the camera sees me. She's like, it's like it's you, but better. I like that. That's a great way. That should be a commercial. That's a good way.

All right, we're going to let you go. Your special is wake up on Netflix. Pleasure of me. Netflix. She's in netfor-com for tickets. Robbie Hoffman. You can play. Rooster,

Steve Correll. Rooster going back for another season. Very exciting. He's nice. Emmy nominated. Emmy nominated for hacks. Yeah. We are writer.

X-lines Emmy nominated. Shut up. That's unfair to real. Wake up is on Netflix. Wake up. Netflix. I'm very intimidated and so excited to be with you guys today. And I've wanted to do this for a while and low-key, been dropping it to David whenever I see him.

So I'm happy. It finally happened. It was high key, by the way. It was very easy. It was great. She goes, please don't hang up right away. Yeah,

okay, I'm not hanging up. Okay, we're walking away. Love to all of you. Robbie Hoffman on Instagram for news. Thank you. All right,

listen, if you're enjoying the fly on the wall, of course, hopefully you are. Click follow. We don't want to be desperate, but obviously smash that god dang button on your favorite podcast app.

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I'm going to tell you this right now. Hear me now. Believe me later. Fly on the wall, believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey. And executive produced by Hold For It, Dana Carvey and David Spade. Or David Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't write those stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman, and Leah Reese Dennis.

The show is edited by Evan Cox, with production support from Phil Sweet Tech. Talent Production and Booking by Sophia Lippoor.