Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SNL’sThe Reality Show? & Megastars David Met at the Canelo–Crawford Fight

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

Dana and David go deep on the 28-minute bathroom break David witness and why the restroom might be the best place to make friends. Plus fresh SNL reactions and why that show needs a reality-show. Then David recaps the Canelo vs. Crawford fight in Vegas surrounded by megastars, with a Charlie Sheen sighting. David drops a killer Jason Statham impression and the guys kick around what Trump’s up to in the U.K. They finish off with the weird-news wave from “the first woman on Mars” to how comedians worked the Middle Ages. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Uhi-ho-hee. What is happening? Literally anything. What's going on? It's raining. Maybe everything. I want to say it's raining. It's raining.

That'll really get viewers. That's real clickable. Now, what can I tell you just quickly about, oh, we had a funny story about a guest we had recently had a driver come to my house. We don't always do them in the studio here. But this unknown guest had a driver and said, can I use your potty? And so we let them in. and 28 minutes later he came out

wow maybe he's doing fucking Sudoku that's I mean what do you do then he comes out like a way I would say

excuse me but what were you doing in there excuse me I do a Garth excuse me I'd like to get some information about what you were doing in there. I saw something seeping out from under the door. I didn't know what it was. It was just smoke, I thought. You know, I, have you ever had this? Actually, when I'm on the road, we were talking with this. When you go to a restaurant and if people know you're there, one of the challenges is

they follow you to the bathroom to get a picture. And then nicely, they wait. But if it's that one in a million when you're in there for 45 minutes. You come out and there's sleep on the wall. They wake up. Oh, they get up off the carpet. Hey, yeah. I forget, wait, why was I here? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so blurry. I fell asleep. All right, you were going to run into the bathroom and I was going to take a picture. I'm like, oh, I don't get that kind of fan attention. I mean, they follow you home. They follow you to the bathroom. Where aren't they following you? You're like the Beatles coming off for Ed Sullivan show. I think in the back. I think in restaurants, It's unusually common to follow you there

and then just to be in the way outside. Or pee next to you and just go, I thought it was you. And I'm like, will you hold this while we take a selfie? They're like, oh, your wiener. Okay, let me just try to. Hang on. Okay, let me just grab that.

I don't know. Some people like to have heavy, cool, fun, informative conversations at a male urinal in a public restroom. But for me, it's not like a, I don't see it as a social situation. Like a time to make friends like you do. Time to get to know your friend. That's how I meet people.

Yeah, you hang out in the bathroom. There are people who just hang out. I don't know. I've ever been at a gym in the locker room. Usually it was guys, older guys, would just strip naked and then just walk around. They had nowhere to go, nothing to do. you just did not want to bump into them.

Yeah. I mean, I've got a guy in the gym fully naked, leg up on the bench with a blow dryer, drying his nuts sack going, any new movies? I do. The one I don't like is going to a baseball game when there's the urinal trough.

I don't like that. That feels kind of like just a primitive, game like you're in some kind of club that urinates together. There's no demarcation. There's no splash guard. There's no privacy. No privacy. There's no door. It's just 300 guys doing their business laughing. And there's guys on the other side of the troughs. You're all peeing in it sometimes. I've been in all kinds of troughs. I used to design troughs. And some people, some, they finish peeing and then they just stand there and hang out. And they go, what's up?

How do you think the game's going? This is usually at sporting events. It's for expediency. You can't go the individual. Guess what? This is kind of a fun fact. I was in London once. Go ahead.

Went to a play in London. Oh. And I thought, you know, that and they're up there. It's a real brief. Oh, I don't know about you. Oh, I was chitue in the head if you say that again. Anyway, during the intermission, go to the bathroom. they have lined up on both sides of the wall 25 urinals on one side, 25 on the other.

What do you do? Just go to the one that has more guys there? Well, most people drink alcohol and want to do that. I know this is like our first biologic beginning. It's our first five minutes. So they only have two stalls and 40 urinals because they know generally speaking, people have done the other thing before they're going to People don't like to do it in public. No one likes to do it in public. It's just a matter of emergency. And if you do like to do it publicly, you have an issue.

Yeah, there's a problem. Yeah, it's a problem. So I'm glad we got this. I don't know how you got on this topic. I will say since just in a brief S&L news, our friend Ego had left. And that was sort of, that bomb dropped right after there was a wave of people leaving. And she sort of waited a beat, probably sussed out the situation. and said, you know what, there's new people, maybe it's time for me to go.

She had a good run. Yeah. She's really, uh, it's just charismatic, a star, incredibly sweet, super talented. And, you know, now that I've had a few days after our hot take on the S&L shakeup, um, yeah, it's okay to do seven or eight years because it's not like leaving an 89 or 90 or something. There are so many live streamings. There's so many do-it-yourself on YouTube. There's films.

I mean, there's so many ways to continue your career. And Heidi Gardner would be an example of one of them. And a lot of these cast members, it's okay. There's a lot more going on. I mean, when we left, it was either a TV show or a movie. There wasn't much in between. There was not much else that you could stay busy at. Even stand-up, a touring stand-up did not make the money that,

people do now. Not even close. Not like that. Yeah. It was like to make a living, you could go on the road a lot and just not break even. You'd make some beans, but I mean, probably the greatest example is I think Ben Stiller did six months or something. I think he had a quick run, yeah. Yeah, and then he's Ben Stiller. So enough said, and you know, Jim Carrey audition, nah, I don't think so. Shane Gillis did approximately zero. Shane Gilles, you take your talent and get out of here. No, the Lord didn't say that. He called him. Did you land? You get your hotel? Yes. Okay. Order some soup and then you have to go. You have a hard out at noon. That, that being said, the four people coming in in such a different circumstance in 2025, I just, I root for them. And I think that. Welcome to the jungle. Welcome to

the jungle, you're going to pull the wall. It's like gladiator. Are you not entertained? I know. I've always said that. I mean, there's three lanes of Saturday Night Live. One of the lanes is funny people doing sketches making you laugh. The other lane is seeing a football player

or a film star, actress or actor, try to do sketch comedy for our. And the third lane has seen someone you know that's brand new to sketch comedy, brand new to Saturday Night Live, attempting to go out there and land it and be relaxed when you've got 20 cast members. So it's quite a reality show. And how long will Lauren stay?

I wish they would do a show where they did behind the scenes of the week. And so like a reality show, Heidi would come off a sketch, go in a room, do a testimonial, or at rehearsal, how to go. Where do you think your chances are with the sketch? you're going to wigs which wig do you pick how do you pick it and do all that and then you're going to catch some some drama some arguments some tension and all the chaos that goes behind the scenes even just during the week right before the show there's a lot going on have they ever done one show like that sweating it out after read through waiting like everyone hanging out by the door like little bees going not only figured out yet can we go in there most high-pressured week of your life

You've got a behind the scenes camera in your face the whole time. Make it harder, man. But then people will start liking you based on that on top of sketches or they'd like different people the way they handle the week. Like we would wait outside Lauren's door. Now, we do read through. They all walk in there, Downey, Franken Smigel, host, Lauren. They're going to pick all the sketches. We'd be hanging out talking to Alice or Aaron going, so what's going on?

Like no reason to be there. So, and then when the door cracks, you go like that because you can't see the wall with all the cards and what they're picking, but they're like, and what did you think about slam? And you go, and then they'll say, can you send the Turner's in, which are writers? Can you send this writer in and you go, oh, they're talking about that sketch. Oh, they're considering it. That's a little nugget of information. I know. Well, I would always go up there and they'd say, Lawrence, and I would just go in.

in you know i go i'm just going to go in never in a trillion years so then lord and i would hang out discuss the cast and the show and what do you think of this person and that person you'd take popcorn and go like this in the back room and then lauren would put up this sketch and you go my warden and they go lord doesn't do it and lord only did it in front of me data i don't like to do this because it's distraction but he would take three or four kernels of popcorn and juggle them and then eat them oh watch dana and i throw it up and It's the way I do it when no one's looking. Sometimes he would take popcorn and put it in each cheek and go,

I'm like Marlon Brando. Well, that's why he would turn around and then he would stick one kernel on each tooth. And he'd come back and go, Dana, I'm a scary monster. He doesn't do an impression, yeah. Yeah, well, I'm a scary monster and he had popcorn teeth. It was hysterical. Yeah, it's so funny. I would laugh every time.

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Learn more at amex.ca. slash Yanex. Oh, I also went to a fight this weekend. I went to the Canelo. You get to, your life is so cool. I didn't get the memo. I don't know. You could just go there.

No, I stupidly was in Vegas with Nikki Glazer, but we go. And I got an invite to go to it. And I go, I don't think I can go because. It's my only weekend off, and I was going to do some things. And then I was like, oh, my God, because they didn't want to come right back to Vegas, and then I got to go right back to Chicago. So I go, well, and then I go, oh, this is going to be such a big fight. And it did a football stadium.

I go, I got to try it. So here I am scraping and scratching my invite back, which was some tough texting. Oh, okay, because then you were so two days ago and they've already filled in the seats. Yeah. So because I didn't see you on the movie star cam. No. I didn't see you. Were you in the nosebleeds or halfway down the nosebleeds?

It was, I didn't get an answer right when I said, hey, good news. And I put in parentheses for you, I can go. And then I said, so if there's, because Netflix was doing it. So I said if there's any room. At Sarandos, your buddy. There's any room, let me know. And then about four days later, I said, listen, if my seat got taken from someone from the summer, I turn pretty, it's okay, I understand how it works over there. And then nothing. And then it was

so cringy. Was it just you or you plus one? It was just me saying I was just going to go. I didn't know it was such a big event. I honestly thought it's like when a couple of people go to a fight and they get four seats together and they go, hey. So the night before, they're like, hey, are you going or you can't go or what's the latest? I go, I could. It's tomorrow. I just going to go watch it. No, no, no, get out here. Let's go. So I went out late, 530. Go, go straight to the fight. And it's like all these well-known people there. I mean, they really Netflix. It was Netflix. I didn't realize that either before that. So it's 68,000 people. The most people had a fight. I thought it was 71, but it broke the record. No, I counted. I counted. I was at the top

Stop, stop sharing. I've got, I got, I got, I got sources. You do? Anyway, it was a huge fight because Canello is a Mexican fighter with red hair. He's cool. He's, he's an all-time great versus Crawford. Crawford came up 14 pounds. You didn't know.

Canello's really got this full neck. He didn't know. Canelo's strong. You didn't know. He had a good left and a bob and an inside. He could do the, the shell thing, this deep. defense, you know, the Tyson. He does combos.

You didn't know. You didn't know. There's so much you don't know. You go to a sporting event. Look at hers. She's cute. Could I get some popcorn? Ha, ha, ha.

I'm at a football game. Oh, wait. Why are people boxing? Yeah. You're not into the fight. You don't have a score card. I don't know what's going on. You don't know.

You don't know. What about Canello only fights on Mexican holidays? Cinco de Mayo. And this was a holiday weekend. And everybody came out because they would boo Crawford when they showed them in the green room. I called the green room. I did not know that.

I didn't know that. And so they, uh, so I still had good seats, but I wasn't actually, they walked me down and everyone I flew with out there has the great seats. And they're like, woo,

I'm like, oh, that's right. I was a last minute ad on. So I had the end seat on a row. But who's next to me? He'll never guess. He has a big documentary out now.

And he's on the show in about two, Charlie Sheen? Charlie Sheen, yeah. Chuck is next to you? Yeah. Oh. And the funniest part was, you know, we're all jammed in like Stardines. And it's Charlie Sheen, Michael Irvin, to keep it weird.

He's great football player. I wanted an assortment pack. Yeah. And then in front of me, Marshaun Lynch, whose head is maybe this big, because I can't see. Yeah. Yeah, he was something else. Funny guy, though. He's just, you know, bigger than.

average you big me small can't see fight yeah don't like to be punched in the face maybe put the dreadlocks on the top I can see a real you're a wonderful football player you're a beautiful giant digits

suppressing my office Jeremy Renner list goes on blah blah David Zazloff of all people you're kidding power power broker big big and then Ted

Chappelle Charlie's just all the way down. Great time, great people, nowhere near me. So I am sitting with Charlie. And the first thing I see is Michael Irvin has got his legs over talking behind himself because there's people behind us. Right. So he's talking and Charlie's like this. So I walk up and they go right here. And I go, Charlie. Oh. And he goes, hey, all right. Are you sitting here? I go, yeah. And he stands up. And he goes, this guy has no spatial awareness. What the funny thing to say right off the bat. I go, oh, is that Michael Irvin?

He goes, yeah, his legs are on my legs. I'm like, well, I know. We'll figure it out. She fight doesn't even, we're on the fight before the big fight. Of course, I come a little late. So here we go. Well, you're lucky to say, hey, this guy's in my space. Would you mind beating him up for me?

Say something. Yeah, you're witty. You could put him down. Then he goes, he goes, I like, it's me and you over here. I know Charlie in passing. Like, you think maybe I know more. I don't know him. There was a time that my, I worked on Rules of Engagement.

Oh my God, a couple of people remember. Thank you. And Rules of Engagement, the head writer, creator, was Tom Hertz. Good guy. He came off of Two and Half Men to do our show. So when Charlie's going through it, which we're both going to see the documentary by the time he comes on, but when he's going through the craziest, which we know a lot of, not all of them, just from reading the paper. Right. So he's fighting with less moon viz at CBS. And it is bad. A hundred million dollar lawsuit, whatever it was. He was, Charlie was making so much money. Two million dollars in episode. Sickening. And then he was not coming to work. And I'm like, oh my God, is he going to lose this job?

so I think Les just says I've had it with you, you're off and everyone was like, wow, are they going to continue out of him? So I see Tom Hertz and he goes, listen, is there any way because our show had just finished

which is there a world where you would do a show with Charlie? And I said, well, he said for CBS, I go, well, I sound like Charlie. I don't see Les Moonbez loving this idea. I think this is a dead end. And he goes, no, I already talked to him. I was like, wow. Wow. He goes, less knows what's going to get big ratings. I was like, that is crazy if Charlie came back. So I see Charlie maybe a week later. And I walk by him at this hotel. And I go, oh, hey, man,

how you doing? He goes, hey, and he goes, hey, have you heard a little secret rumor about us? And I go, I did. And he goes, that could be fun. And I go, yeah, I guess we're going to hear about it. He goes, okay, so that was it. Three days later, some health news comes out about Charlie. And it sort of stopped it. Took a wind out of everything.

Took a little wind out of the sales. Yeah. And I hope that being said, I think if it was HIV, I think there's way more people living with that right now than before. Oh, my God. So it's. you could treat it and obviously magic johnson was sort of the poster child for all that like yeah and he's doing fine so i don't know he's doing fine he's out there doing his life and oh no they

they can make the virus it just essentially diminished imperceptible you're not contagious you're not symptomatic so what happened the tragedy of before this but michael magic came out um the technology it was just there in a medicinal way. It was newer. And here he is. But, you know, I think it sounds scary to people. So it's probably less, there's probably way more going on. Well, you don't want to get it.

No. But they have antiviral, you know, medications that. Sure. It's not a death sentence. Now, if there was a medication to keep you away, that would be interesting. Well, I'm remote right now. I want to be in the studio and you have it in your contract. I got out.

You can only do three a year. At least I got to have two days away from that guy because he won't shut up about how big the church lady was. He will not shut his mouth. I have to say Charlie was excited to come on and he knew, I'm coming on soon on your show. And he said, I don't think I met Dana. And I said, Dana's happy to have.

He's excited. He liked that. Everyone's a fan of you. So we talked to people there. Tyson was there, of course. You just know those fights are jam-packed. And there was a, the guy that put the money for the fight, the promoter, was from Saudi Arabia. I think he's also doing this new fanatics, like football.

He is throwing money around. You know, there's doing the comedy festival. I don't know if that's him, but they were telling me this guy, and he had ringside, like, here's us on this corner, here's this ring. And he's there with Jason Statham, the beekeeper. The bee keep. I keep the bees Don't touch my bees So I'm just doing you

If I catch you, you're going to get stung Oh, isn't that a bee though? Aren't you the keeper? If I sting you, you're going to die. Oh, that's a bee again And then the bee dies The person doesn't die So are you the person that dies

If you're the bee in this situation? Oh, wait a say in. What are saying? Oh, let me think about it. so he's got a new movie out called the working man give me him and working man oh i'm the working and if you mess with me i'm gonna work your face into a bloody pop you sound like hans and franz i don't know what i sound like i got too far into that one i couldn't get out all right you were you were just you david disappeared i'm back by the way

yeah thank you scary jesus saith him with mr beast What a random assortment. Mr. Bees, Jason, Nathan White, and this Saudi, I think his name is Muhammad al-Turkey, I think. So he's there. Anyway, he's wandering around saying hi to people. I don't know, but I think he gave Canello $100 million to that. Oh, my God. Oh.

That's nothing for you. For me, for a working man, for working stiff. Um, so you know what? I mean, he got punched in the face pretty hard many, many times. Is this Alvarez you're talking about? I mean, uh, yeah, Canello. Canello, you know, he's, he's, he's tough as nails. But yeah, uh, Crawford really smacked him around a little bit.

Yeah, you know, our ring side wasn't the UFC ring side or regular boxing. It's pulled back. It was cameras. It was some other things, but it was really like, it's the football stadium. we were back about 50 feet. I was behind the front row. But even being that close, you're still,

we were laughing about this. How many times you go up to the big screen and look because it's just a little better and easier to see? Because I'm looking through ropes. You know, it's a little different. There is a catch type thing where there's a certain point

you're going to pretty much watch the screen. Yeah. Unless you have a perfect kind of view. Yeah, we were talking about this on the way they're like, How far back at a concert, how far back, you want, because everyone agreed, if you're going to blow money, concerts, sporting events are fun to blow to sit closer. Because when you get to the point where you're only watching the screen,

my eyes aren't that good from far away. So I do that. And I'm like, because I like, obviously everybody wants to be up close. If you can afford it, go up close. But I'm sure, and the inflationary aspect of America today and everything, you have to get used to it. Well, a regular ticket is bazooties. There's, to just get in that room was probably expensive. And also, but it really was, I think, a big hit for Netflix because the fight turned out to be, it started a little slow.

And then I started to see Canello looking a little beat up. His face was red. I'm like, wait a second, because he was the favorite, I think. Oh, maybe early on his face was red because the little Starstruck, he got a peek of you. He saw me? And blushed. I know he got hit later, but I think it was early on. He looked over in the first round.

If I'm where, if I'm thinking where you are where I think you are, I think he saw you. He's a huge fan of Dickie Roberts. And he blushed. We both picked out Dickie Roberts. I know. I don't know why. I should watch that movie again. And why does it get beat up by us?

It's knuck and futz. Great little comedy. Chris Rock's favorite spade movie, Dickie Roberts. So he always... Well, it's a great idea. I love that he says that because I do like Dickie Roberts. I think it was not to get off my boring fight story, but... No, it's...

It was a good idea. It was still funny, but just the idea is almost bigger. You can't keep up with the idea of former child stars because I talked to a pretty big director early on that wanted to do it. And he said, I would dismantle it after the first act and make it really tragic. And I said, I just, I don't think Paramount wants that. I don't think that's the brand of you at the time or Happy Madison, yeah, yeah, yeah. That you're going to go for a tragedy. That's a whole different movie.

I said that's a good movie and that's a movie that really makes sense. We're trying to spin it and make it more fun. I mean, you could mic drop in the end of the third act with some pathos or some emotion, but not, dark you know it's funny because we had one scene where we all sing together for some that smigle wrote a song how funny fred wolfe of smigle and we had them all in for one day and it was corey hame and some brady bunch and we really grab you a couple of people said no they don't want to be associated anymore like i think gary coleman wouldn't do it but we had webster we had a lot of fun people and you get to see that some of them have to have had a rough

time. So they were Dickie Roberts peers. Cory Haim. Yeah. Remember him? He's Corey Feldman's buddy. Yeah. Super sweet. Walking to lunch from the soundstage of singing. And I'm in my outfit. And he goes, hey, hey, thanks for having me. Hey. So we go to lunch now? We got an hour? And I go, yeah. This is roughly the conversation. I said, yeah. And he goes, hey, I was going to go off campus and eat. I said, I think he can.

And he goes, do we get a per diem for today? And I go, I don't know, maybe. And he goes, do I get that? Can you give me that? I go, I don't think I'm the one that gives you your per diem. And he goes, but I need some because I want to go get lunch. And he goes, you got a hundred bucks or something. I could just go get lunch.

And I fucking did it. I felt so weird, because now we're at my trailer. And he goes, if you have anything just, and I had some money, so I gave him like 50 hundred bucks and said, yeah, okay. And then later, I swear at the time it didn't even hit me that he might go use or something. And he probably didn't, but I was like, was that stupid? Was that fucking dumb of me? Well, in the end of the day, what are you going to do? I mean, the premise would be besides a potential drug thing is that child actors sometimes get a lot of money when they're young.

and then, you know, they go broke. Yeah. I mean, you know, whatever. Yeah, the parents, a lot of the time, not all the time. A lot of times the parents are like spending the money. Obviously, they're like, hey, you're my kid. It's my money. And then when they're 18, they're like, give me that, back up that bank's truck.

And they're like, the thing is, there's not a ton left. And at that point, he was older, but he was still a star, you know, because Dickie Roberts was a while ago. And he was a super nice kid. kid. And then, you know, tough ending. So, and that's why Corey, Corey Feldman's out there going, hey, he's out there going, we have, we had a tough time. Like, they, they always treat Corey Feldman, who we should have on sometimes because he's a very interesting guy. It's one of those ones you look back on

one day and go, maybe he had something to say that we weren't listening to. You know, because he had a, yeah, he said it was rough. And the child start thing. So anyway, long story short, Dickie Roberts could have been darker. It had, Way, a little piece of, but it wasn't, obviously. One of the stories I saw this week that I thought was funny was just the idea of Trump in England with King Charles. Yeah. Because Trump's bedside manner are bluntless. Are they used to his bluntness?

Are they used to it? King Charles, he's a king now. He was a prince. Now he's a king with Camilla Bacoboles, you know. He loved her very much. Camilla Parker Bowles, that's what they called it. Now she's a princess. She's a princess bowls, you know.

He said he was talking to on the phone. He wanted to live in her pants. He wanted to live in her pants. You remember that? And King Charles is there and everyone's there. He's given a little toast. That's his speech. He's given before dinner.

Yeah, and I saw the people. I saw they call them the black-hatted red coats. You know, the big tall, they're 18 inches high, those guys. They don't talk much. They don't have much to say quite. frankly you look at them they're hot the hats don't work if a grenade goes toward them it's not going to help them i'm telling you that you look at it and you see it and you see the red coats and you see the black hats and the fur they're made from baskets canadian bears they

their heads they put them on their head whose idea was that but camilla pocket bowls and king charles you got to love london you love it and tell you ho i'm donald trump i like entali-ho that was a fucking great run that's so funny uh yeah the red coats people make fun of them but they can punch you you got to you got a laugh you know you got a laugh trump over there i just saw a picture and of course i was telling you i was hoping he was looking for mcdonalds because if he eats mcdonalds every day he must be like jonesing a little bit on these trips he has assistance he has massive people that could you give me a big mac just put it up put it near the salad, put a napkin on it, you know.

I love this. I love the fish and chips and the cheeseburger. Don't I love the cheeseburger? Is it a filet of fish and chips? Yeah, he's not going to eat the British food. He's going to sneak in stuff. What's this dog shit? Yeah.

He doesn't want to offend him, though. Kate, very nice. Kate had a scare recently. She bounced right back. And William, they got a trouble with Harry. The trouble with Harry. These guys don't like Harry. but now Harry likes him.

Harry's the brother. They call him the spare. They call him the spare because in case, you know, whatever, the other guy gets killed, he's despair. He doesn't like being a splare. So he moves to Montecito with Megan Markleus, Megan Marklech and Harry, Harry Flinks down. They're making jellies and jams, but it's not clicking.

Hair, I like what he goes, William, he losing, from where I'm standing to give this toast, you are losing a lot of your hair. And, you know, we always wondered why it's an easy fix over in America. You go to Turkey, you get it done. You get a lot of more troops up there, and you're right back in the game. Never went for it. It's a gene.

It's a genetic thing. It's leaving your head. It's leaving your head slowly. You're doing it publicly. And quite frankly, it's not a good look. It's not a good move. What you've got to do is grow one side really long like I do. I'll be honest.

And you swirl it around. You swirl it. You swirl it. You tape it. You glue it. And there you are. are you glowing orange on your turf. You're glowing orange right on your turf upstairs

and you look gorgeous. So fucking funny. I don't know what I'm doing. That's so funny because it's funny. I love it. During the Volvo Fall Experience event, discover exceptional offers and thoughtful design that leaves plenty of room for autumn adventures.

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Learn more at SAP.com slash uncertainty. All right, let's get to some stories unless you have any more stories of your life. My life's kind of boring compared to you. I wish I watched the fight. The fight was hot. I'm glad it worked out that I got to go.

It was very nice of them to take me. Thank you, Netflix. A 23-year-old woman is preparing to become the first human on Mars, and she's never coming back. Whoa. How's that? Does she decide that?

I mean, it's a one-way ticket. What does Elon Musk say about this? The pay is probably really good, but you don't get to come back and spend it. I mean, she must be a real trooper to say, I just want to go help Earth or something. I mean, that's a big ask for me. Well, I see the, well, look, I love science fiction. And Elon Musk, you know, talks like science fiction is science reality. we have to go to malls, go to malls, go to malls, we have to go to malls.

And so they can terraform it. They can just blast oxygen can, well, us oxygen canisters, whatever, if they find ice. But they can kind of make it into an environment where you walk around without a space suit. You know, I don't know if it'll be 75 and partly cloudy or what, but they believe they can make it hospitable to humans. They said within one year they'll have a Zara there and maybe a Hickory Farms. Here's what they have to do. You know what?

Go fucking go back to the moon, fellas. God, what's wrong with the moon? Go back to the moon and build a Howard Johnson's on the moon. When I was a kid, 2001, there was a Howard Johnson's hotel on the moon. And we want some of 2001 now. It's 2002. Yeah, we're a little late. Yeah, get us.

Go to the moon, fucking just put some condos, put in a banana republic. Just make it like every city in America. Yeah, and just take SpaceX. Don't take the Boeing Starliner. Don't take the Jeff Bezos origin. Just get on SpaceX. That's what I would take. Okay, next story.

Let's see. Let's see. Mm-hmm. Oh, this is about Vegas. What is this? Civil War. Oh, hello. Hello, Vegas, Polly.

See I'm on top of the free parking garage here at the Sahara Crosse in the Fonteblu in Las Vegas. And Polly Market has posted a wager on its site as to whether or not to do it a civil war in the United States. This is from Todd Schreiber. Oh, Todd. Never want to shy away from offering controversial markets. Polymarket posted a still open bet on the possibility of the U.S. falling into another civil war by the end of the year. What counts as a civil war? $4,000.

was bet on the Civil War happening in the United States 96% of the people who are wagering say that it's not going to happen. I love the video. What does it have to do? It's just talking and showing some

ratty lot. Okay, you can jump out. The idea of a civil war, I mean, people talk about it a little heavy for our show. There's two kinds of civil wars. There's a cold civil war, which we have been in

as a country in Europe in many ways. too within their countries for the last 20 years hashing it out mostly nonviolently but a really hot hot civil war but what would that mean

there's people that are fighting or does every state have to take a side it would take so much to put that together like do we get uniforms on and start marching around I know part of one team

do we each have they send everyone two uniforms you have to pick one to put on Maybe I'll be this guy That's what you could do in the war You walk along with them Okay, got it I just want to show up my whistling

God damn You went for the whole song Okay Heather's in and she's back out Okay Okay, we're almost done here Okay. Let's do another one. Let's do another one.

Why is Vietnam the testing ground for the new banking order? I need more information. Why is Vietnam the testing ground for the new banking order? Well, recently, Vietnam imposed a requirement for a digital ID, including a biometric scan of everyone in order to have a bank account. And what they did to enforce this is they closed 86 million bank accounts and seized all of the assets in those accounts. So the owners of those accounts have no ability to do banking or access their funds because they chose not to sacrifice their privacy and submit to this biometric surveillance tracking mechanism. In your best interest to do. Well, this is not something that is going to stay in Vietnam.

This is a test because if we look at, for example, what's going on with the European Central Bank and Digital ID Initiative in Europe, as well as the real ID and the CBD-C. And a lot of letters. A, B, C, D, EFG. Yeah. Okay, you can jump out. Okay, well. That got three million views.

I don't know. Yeah. You give up, you know, everything's a tradeoff, Thomas Sol's famous quote. There are no solutions. There's only tradeoffs. That's in politics. That's in government. There's no utopian solution.

You're always going to trade off. So you get all that kind of security and ID identification, and then you give up privacy, a potential privacy. So it's a tradeoff, David. What's your hot tip? I mean, already, if you're, bank doesn't agree with you, they could just stop you from getting in your bank. People can always seize your assets. You always hear that with criminals. So they just cut off. I mean,

that's the scary thing. Do we even have money? You talk about it. Your joke about you. Your money is like numbers on a thing every month. And the next month, the numbers change. Do I have it? If I needed it, can I get it? I don't know. It used to be cash. You know, I got this money right here. So if they say one day, you know, they're doing these things where they say if you go in a store or if you have a here you get you get emissions where you can do this much driving in a day and this much gas you use in a day and if you go over that it stops you know stuff like that is probably in the future i don't love it but i think that's where we're headed well you know technology can be used for good or evil and even now with when ai is ubiquitous nefarious forces it's there's

going to need more security in your bank accounts, even your digital bank accounts that are backed up and backed up and underground bunker, you know. So anyway, it is a, it's a scary world. So it'd be very strange to literally wake up and just, hey, this is a good movie idea. Some billionaire wakes up and he's broke. Right. Just it was all taken away. They can't find it. It's all gone. It's in crypto or it's just gone. Yeah. Crypto. And they start over. Like, say you went broke. Could you, David Spade, pull up your pants after crying a little bit, kind of go like this, and walk out the door and go, I'm going to make it again? Not pull up my bootstraps. That was probably a better way to put it.

Pull yourself up by the bootstrap. I don't know. I think you're discounting how much crying I would do first. That would be a while. And then I would be like, I have no skills. I don't know what I would do. I have no, like, visible skills. So, no, we would have been almost, you know, people say, what was your biggest break?

Well, being born in America when I did, when I was, you know, what if we were, it was the 9th century? And we were just farmers in south of France. And we were, I would do impressions of the king and you would do quips about the farming, you know. Two jesters. We should plant these acorns where they up your ass. But we would just get paid and beans and, with a beatings. It's a lot of off with their head back then. I don't like that.

It's like they throw that on too loosely. Well, we had court gestures throughout the Middle Ages with the kings and stuff, and they would get killed if they were too funny. I'd love to see. Too funny. I'd be in danger. Or too sarcastic. Oh, again.

But it's hard to feel, you just have to have humility if you live in a time, But you're my and your particular skill set, we were able to convert it to some money. And that's- Particular set of skills. I have a particular set of skills. I can sound kind of like Donald Trump. Yeah, that's true. You got that down. All right, one more.

And then, Dana, this has gone on. One more. And then we- Yeah, because we- Wait too. People don't need this shit. They don't understand it. China just unveiled what?

China just unveiled a spy drone that looks like. like a mosquito and it's more like you couldn't hate mosquitoes yeah fully functional surveillance oh measuring just 0.6 centimeters this tiny drone is packed with micro cameras and microphones and it bites you audio capture video and transmit everything it ruins your picnic developed by the national university of defense technology it flaps its transparent wings 500 times per second i'm just a mosquito don't mind me and is nearly invisible radar sure it can only fly for a few minutes but that's enough to sneak into rooms eavesdrop on conversations, scan for threats, or gather intel. Right now, it's still a prototype.

But China claims it's designed for covert military operations. So next time you see a mosquito, oh, gross, look at all those mosquitoes. Everything is getting tinier. You know, these, it's this tiny, it used to be drones. There used to be like giant jets with bombs and that's all about drones coming in. And it's going to be a little tiny insects. And eventually it'll just look like dust in the air. I saw this woman.

on the news yesterday. She's been robbed twice. And in her backyard, she saw some guys down with a camera and they had a drone checking out her backyard for what she had to steal. And it was going to each, I was like, whoa, a new version of, like, trouble. I know. Sometimes you just want to kind of find a cabin up, up in the woods somewhere, you know, no Wi-Fi and just get a lot of cool snacks and just watch a laser disc or something. I'm not going to move in with you right away, but it's probably on the horizon. Dana and Davy sitting in a tree.

That's just farming is a new show. I'm out with the chickens. Yeah, that'll be one. That'll be a preview of it. Oh, no. He's back. Well, give me a song. I can whistle it.

Give me any tune in the world. I can whistle it. Any tune. Heather? She goes, but that's not a tune. Yeah, it is. She wants you to wrap it up.

I want to skirt all over. She's just showing his whistling. Heather's sweet. Can you guys go to the beginning again? Okay, do taps. How does that go? Oh. It's not that hard.

Dana acts like this the hardest thing anyone could never do. No, I did The Wizard of Oz's Gart that cut it out of the movie. Okay, go ahead. What is that? Right into the mic. How did that escape the movie? Oh, whoop. Here we go, the whole thing.

Oh, I thought Catherine McPhee was going to kick in. Okay. That notes hard. Oh, there's some notes that are. You're like, you're like, we did good. We did good, I think. I mean, you know, it's episode number 6,322. We'll be back next week with a brand new flying.

the wall without a guess but we could have a guest we might we might soon so just we might get some eccentric guests in here on this particular part of flying mix it up mix it up mix it up mix it up squeeze it out all right thanks guys hey guys if you're loving this podcast which you are be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app give us review five-star rating and maybe you can share an episode that you've loved with a friend if you're watching this episode on YouTube Please subscribe. We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey,

an executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty,

Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us at fly on the wall at odyssey.com. That's A-U-D-A-C-Y-I-com.