Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Spade CLAPS BACK at Critic (Salesforce CEO CONTROVERSY)

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

A emergency intro discussing David caught up in the Salesforce CEO drama. Then, Dana and David recap their recent Vegas gig and having to bow to high rollers. David even shares fun facts about cards b...efore they do all kinds of impressions of their manager (Marc Gurvitz), discuss the week of Trump and various house issues they are facing. They get into other news, plus explain the full ins and outs of the crypto world and how to crush a corporate stand up gig.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:02:11 Something just happened. We tape it a few days before, but then this just happened. I want to tell you about it, it's not life-changing, but it's very interesting to Dana and I. It's, yeah, it's an emergency podcast. Yes, drop everything. You will. No, we just thought we do it, you know, Sunday afternoon. So David, tell us your story.
Starting point is 00:02:35 So what happened is, like, you know, Dane and I talk about doing these corporate shows now and then for these big companies, it's usually a lot of fun, and pretty harmless, and sometimes they're a little tough because not a typical comedy setting. That's fair, right? And by the way, let me insert this. you are a side show. You're not the show. The corporate party, the event, the president speaks, the slides and the wards.
Starting point is 00:03:03 That's the show. You're kind of a secondary show. So it's not like a regular gig. Right. So sometimes you're getting a burned out crowd or something. They've been in meetings all day. Sometimes you're a surprise. They start to leave the meeting.
Starting point is 00:03:14 They go, wait a second. Here's an hour with someone. And they're like, and usually not drunk. They're usually, you know, it's whatever. So I get a call, a quick story, which we can never do anything quick, but hey, do you want to cover for someone to do a corporate show in San Francisco? I go, it depends on what day I'm going into Arizona to see my brother Brian. And they said, well, it was Monday night. It's Thursday morning you'd have to go.
Starting point is 00:03:42 It's actually a daytime show, which immediately rings slightly tougher. But I don't mind. And I said, okay, it's usually kind of a favor. If someone got sick, we don't know what, whatever happened. Yeah, yeah. They don't tell me. So I said, let me see if I can maneuver it. So by the end of Tuesday, yes, I can do it.
Starting point is 00:04:01 And then I'll go straight to Arizona. Right. So it's Salesforce. I said, okay, I've actually done this before. I think, Dana, you might have to. I've done a couple with them. Mark, is it Benioff, is the CEO? Mark Benioff, yes.
Starting point is 00:04:14 So unbeknownst to you, what's going on? So unbeknownst me, they say, I think Heather finds out, Oh, I saw, I think it was going to be Kamail Nunjani. He should put in parentheses in his name. Did I say that right? Because I like the guy, I see him out, he's been on the show. Super nice guy, KJ. That's easier to say.
Starting point is 00:04:36 And Alana Glazer. Yes. From Broad City. Another funny comic. I don't know her well, but I think she's very funny. So two comics that are pretty potent, going to go up there and do a thing. and they say, she will still open, but you're still going to do 45.
Starting point is 00:04:54 I said, that sounds great. Okay. I like to see her. It would be fun. So I get up there. I'm already in San Fran. I'm going there to the gig. And there's an article that gets sent to me,
Starting point is 00:05:07 hey, they fell out. They both fell out now. They both cancel or fell out, let's say. Yeah, fell out lingo because of possible political things. I heard the word Trump thrown around. Benioff initially had sort of welcomed the National Guard because he's had his big event every year. He has to hire extra protection and private police
Starting point is 00:05:32 because it's a huge event. So he kind of invited that saying I would support the National Guard kind of policing my event. And then what happened? Some backlash. Now, that's not why I was told. told nothing. And then there was a rumor Kumail had COVID.
Starting point is 00:05:53 So I'm like, so I'm on the way going, wait, am I supposed to not do that? You know, there's a weird feeling of like, oh, am I going into some situation? Right, yeah, you had no idea what you're stepping into. And by the way, by the time you hit the stage, Mr. Benioff had kind
Starting point is 00:06:09 of retracted what he said, he misspoke or whatever. So it wasn't, the issue was sort of gone. Right. I'm getting trickled information. All I saw in the article that said, these people stepped out but David Spade basically gladly did it
Starting point is 00:06:23 it was sort of like that I'm like that sounds it just sounded little itchy so anyway I get I get there I look at the room it's in the round about 3,000 people it's daytime the lights are up
Starting point is 00:06:35 like you're in Ralphs or something like a grocery store there's no focus on you everyone's lit big screens well done they had Metallica the night before I mean they're not fucking around
Starting point is 00:06:45 these places that do these corporate gigs spend the money They get people. Matthew McConaughey was reading from his poetry book. Katie Couric was there. I think Maria Shriver. So they're peppering through all these events. I'm another event.
Starting point is 00:06:58 Yeah. So I said, okay. And they said, okay, so any of long story short, I go do it. It was pretty fun. Listen, it's not going to be my Netflix special, but it was pretty fun. Moments of glory and some good laughs and some stuff that was sort of did okay.
Starting point is 00:07:15 But that's kind of the drill in these things. So the thing is, when I leave, all good, high fives, I leave. Okay, we got it done and we got it covered. The next day I see on Yahoo, there's a talk about it, and they're kind of talking about the comedians that dropped out. Yes. And it was kind of an indirect review from maybe not a reviewer, though. I think he was a tech guy. No, I've looked him up.
Starting point is 00:07:42 He usually reports on AI and tech businesses. He's new to SFG, which is sort of the big online newspaper in San Francisco. So I believe, and I can't prove this, that he decided he should review you and he used AI because it sounds. Oh, maybe he used a. Oh, my God. Wow. I think he's an AI expert. By the way, we were looking for one if he wants to come on.
Starting point is 00:08:09 But I believe it was written kind of like a cliche review. so it feels like a generic AI. I don't know if you want me to read it, but... I'll read a little bit of it. It said he's reading a few, because it's sort of negative, let's be honest. First, he's talking all about the dropping out of the comedians and the controversy, then he goes to a paragraph about it. Well, he's talking about actually the whole show.
Starting point is 00:08:32 He's like, and then this day, and this day we did this. So he's sort of reviewing or just talking about the whole week. I don't know if it's reviewing, but he's just sort of, here's what happened in San Fran for one of our biggest events of the year. And then he gets, the part is two disappointing cancellations, so that's already. There was a comedy show Thursday. It was an exciting prospect, Nanjani and Glazer are a pair with different comedic styles, unafraid of punching up at techs, excesses, and power structures.
Starting point is 00:09:05 And then it goes, but unforeseen circumstances, so they don't put a, you know, sharp head on it, but no one really knows why. They both dropped out. Fellow comic David Spade replaced him. This part stings. I would have loved to see the company's list of B-list talent backups. That's me, I guess. I was like, oh, I didn't think of that.
Starting point is 00:09:27 I go, sting. I'll say two things. First of all, I do believe that's AI generated. And secondarily, this jump man who doesn't do this for a living, he used AI. and the idea of a B-list, I don't know the actual definition, but let's just say, let's say he's 21. He hasn't seen grown-ups. He hasn't seen Tommy Boy. He would have maybe no idea of this long career where you're selling out theaters all over the country. So if you're a B-list, that I don't know what I don't know where I would be on that.
Starting point is 00:10:10 Well, he's, here, I'll continue. Yeah. So he delivered, David delivered 40, 45 minutes of rambly, down-home storytelling. He made much use of his classic sarcasm, but joked little about the conference, its themes, or San Francisco. And then he can, which is true. And he says, because it feels like Spade had heard about the gig the day before, flew up there, jotting down the occasional ideas. that's kind of true. Well, you didn't care about it.
Starting point is 00:10:42 You didn't have weeks to plan it or whatever. Right. He talked about traffic, hotels, planes no longer having TVs, dot, dot, dot, you get it. Ah, that's the biggest burn of all. It's this type of dog shit. You get it. And then he said, blah, blah, blah. But so what I think is, that's about it.
Starting point is 00:11:04 But just that was a little stingy because when you're doing these gigs, first of all, They take the edges off your act. You sign a contract and they send it ahead. Hey, we don't want you shitting on the CEO. We don't want you going political. We don't want, just keep it nice and fun. Nice and fun and light, airplanes, all that kind of stuff. Nothing controversial.
Starting point is 00:11:25 You're just there. The people are going all over to these symposiums. They're in class, basically. And they have a little reprieve of some nice comedy. But you're not there to levitate the cow palace or, you know, make history. I'm not there to punch up. up and get and make the focus me and have people go holy shit do you think what he said now if i'm doing a theater gig you know you're not going to take any bullets out of my gun i might go after
Starting point is 00:11:49 san francisco and the crime and the home i might go after whatever because there's no real boss people are coming to see me uh but i have to kind of if you're a worker be and you've grown up working and doing these things when they sort of stipulate this they can either not pay you and for two people to fall out in the old days that's a little tougher like corporation said we'll sue you you're not going anywhere yeah like we you know but nowadays they go okay and that and that's nice yeah but i'd met these people before i had a perfectly good time there this time crowd is friendly very nice have a good time we got out yeah very nice company mark benny off very nice guy and you know there are jobs this you playing a two thousand seat theater David Spade. You just, you can do whatever you want. Anything. Anything. When you take these corporate jobs, they just want it to be in a certain
Starting point is 00:12:44 frequency. That's all. I can do most of my. I have certain things. I'm not going to drop an F-bomb or something or things like that. And it's still fun and it's no big deal. But this thing was written by AI. But anyway, he can come on and rebut us. Yeah, I mean, I'm not really shitting on the guy. I'm just saying it's all like, I don't think I've gotten a corporate review. It's sort of a hidden secret of the world. I never have. I've done a thousand or more. I have never gone to review. This is highly unusual to get a review for it because there is no review. I never got for corporate. I thought it was a little kick in the balls to me because if he doesn't like my act, that's okay too. I mean,
Starting point is 00:13:25 it's like, sure, but he felt like he went a little out of his way to go, I would love to hear these who will really go after the system and punch up. But I don't know if that's what they were there to do either. No, I mean, you can throw in a couple things, but they want you to be David Spade and do your stand-up. They hired you for a reason. This guy didn't hire you because they know you're great. You know what you're doing. You have a great act. And you get laughed.
Starting point is 00:13:50 So, but yeah, I mean, I just think it was kind of funny that you're the only one that I've ever known. In the history of comedy. The history of these type of events that got reviewed in a snarky way. When you're kind of doing favor last minute, you're on your way to Arizona. I don't want to see your mom. I mean, it wasn't your thing you were in the mode to do. So anyway, that's, that's pretty much it. That's it.
Starting point is 00:14:12 Now, listen, in my defense, I made fun of the setting. It was a very sort of unique, in the round, fully bright with trees everywhere. Talk about that. Did a couple of chat, GPT bits. You know, just to let those tech guys really light up on those. But overall, yeah, there's no porn stuff. I don't put my stuff that, you know, there's a couple of things that work well. You go, this isn't right.
Starting point is 00:14:35 And you can. It isn't really a freedom of speech thing. I could say whatever I want, but do I want to get hired back? Yeah. Do I want the word in the corporate world to go, this guy is too much of a wild card? He's going to try to take your company down. Like, what's my job here? It's a job.
Starting point is 00:14:49 It's a different job. You know, I mean, so they, I don't know, I still think the guy just didn't. It was AI. And we should send him Tommy Boy to a direct thing so he can. Here's something I did 110. years ago take a look of the canon you're building all this stuff you wrong missy the biggest comedy of the pandemic on netflix like a billion views it i know these i i got a review i played san francisco after my first years of on saturday night live and the review from micklesall
Starting point is 00:15:24 and i think he was right he goes he fell in love with his own adorableness i think i've done that That's fucking funny And I was a lot younger I was cute Oh I'll tell you But I got a shitty review there And he was kind of But this one is just
Starting point is 00:15:43 AI and the guy's 21 That's all Yeah Well anyway No hard feelings But it was kind of funny To get a review and talk about it Okay
Starting point is 00:15:50 So we're back to our regular beginning folks So here's where we started The podcast Yeah Different outfit Oh my God We started This is the most dramatic
Starting point is 00:16:01 This is going to be a bangor Just don't, you know, don't go anywhere because this is going to be. That's good. Look at that. Look at my hair's getting all lit up again. Don't move your head too much. Listen, I'll just state this unequivocally. The Beatles 65, they had unquafed hair.
Starting point is 00:16:18 It was just sort of messy. And so that's what I've always been trying to get because I've maybe said this before in the podcast. My dad was an army type guy and he would basically give us crew cuts in the the mid 60 and you wanted to look like a beetle so he'd be like just just and if you look like he didn't like it he'd cut it even shorter oh fuck we look like we look like cue balls by the end of it my mom would come in and go Dana in this side pocket you know beetles let it be out with a four with their beards I thought that was the coolest look long hair and beards yeah because it was unkept. They never had, most of those
Starting point is 00:17:01 rock czars in those days didn't have stylistically combed hair, except for Elvis, but that was Elvis. Or a stylist. Or a stylist. It was just unkept. Dana and I just got back from a gig and it was a lot of fun. We were Yamava. We did a gig together. It was very fun.
Starting point is 00:17:20 Dana crushed. I opened. I had a problem with my set. I'll tell you what it was in a minute. Okay. Well, I'll tell you the... How did your set go? because I drove out there from where I am and it was like a four or five hour drive.
Starting point is 00:17:34 So I was out on my feet. So then I just like, I saw the first few minutes sounded like it was going well and I toddled back to my room. Oh, me? Yeah, no, I wanted you to go rest because you put in a full day's work. I was just didn't wanna come in a day early
Starting point is 00:17:48 or I didn't wanna, well anyway, whatever. I was a little tired, but I heard on the grapevine that you crushed. Right, I heard from the audience, you were killing because I was listening. And they were in. And then I got nice comments after about you. Well, that's very nice.
Starting point is 00:18:04 Do you remember this? Do you remember this? They gave us a box of our own cookies. Oh, good. You brought those. This was an exceptionally nice place to play, Yamava, I must say. This is a marquee, David Spade, and Dana Carvey. That's a cookie, guys.
Starting point is 00:18:21 They made cookie thematically about our minuscule careers. Here's a llama. What, but a llama, what is that, how does that, is that from me? Oh, from your cartoon. The Emperor's new groove. Okay. Can you got one for me? Slightly beat up isn't that special.
Starting point is 00:18:40 Everyone wants to eat the church lady. That's just, sounds wrong. That window behind you. I know, glass of pain, man. And here's a little who'skear don't. That's from Joe Dirt Fireworks. They put some thought into it. Somebody went into like real minutia with our careers.
Starting point is 00:18:58 They had one for the Dana Carver. show that only lasted seven episodes they had one of me being born how many episodes did that last no i'm trying to riff my riff skills are a little off this one you're you can riff look my only problem was i got two into the scarface and i didn't quite land it i you know we were doing 40 minutes each so i look down i'm at 35 and a half coming off of like christopher walking or somebody who's You're coming off micro impression stacked. And I had a really good tailor guitar there. And I thought, oh, I could grab it now because it was all set.
Starting point is 00:19:40 I grab it. It's electrified. I'd already done crowd work with two people in the audience. So I sing a song about them. It's the most surefire killer. But it's Scarface. I just went a little too long. And I thought later, if I'm doing Tony Montana at Thanksgiving dinner for people don't know every bit I've repeated.
Starting point is 00:19:57 Sweet potatoes. All this thing like that. And then he gets mad at this grandma that we never like a kid man. So he goes off in this minutiae for like five minutes. And I just thought he should have said the ending. He goes, what's you got to say, Grandma? What are you got to say? And then you come back with, well, well, well, well.
Starting point is 00:20:22 We like ourselves, don't we, scarface? And that would have been. Fucking tie it up. Tie it up. My God, the lady's back. She's taken down Scarface. Talk about a mashup. No, it was, it was, I thought.
Starting point is 00:20:39 You always crush. I like your casualness. You're not, I, I was actually walking behind the curtain. It was a huge stage when Bobby was on, Bobby Miyamoto, killing himself. Just to get physically used to moving. I go out there to gum, gambam style, and I'm dancing around. and you kind of stroll out what's up take it easy you're kind of like and it's much cooler well it's hard because as anyone knows dana's known in the business is hard to follow so
Starting point is 00:21:08 i just go well this is just a change-up different style they like us both we could have flipped it either way and it was fun it worked out yeah next time i like it and i liked it and they were nice i had people come in dana you didn't know this you know high rollers if you don't know this when in a casino, Caesars next year. The first two rows, these shows are almost just built for high rollers. There's a lot of paper. They want to bring people into gamble. That's why they have different acts.
Starting point is 00:21:39 They have Tim McGraw coming up, Carrie Underwood, they have us. So what happens is you want to get every facet of the community to go, I need a reason to go to this casino. And I've never been there, but I want to see these guys. I want to see Carrie. So I've done that. I go, you go there, and now you're walking in. You're probably eating at a restaurant there. There's money.
Starting point is 00:21:59 You play a few slots, bet a few things, roulette, see the show. Basically, they just want you to touch base in the show and then go back out. They do not really want the show to exceed 90 minutes. Yeah, if it was two minutes, they'd be happy because they just touch us and then go back in the casino, gamble again, drink again, have fun. And then they have an experience like, oh, Yamava is a nice place. And then they remember that. So they can go, we could just go there on a non-show night because like we ate at a nice restaurant, you know. Well, it was very, very nice.
Starting point is 00:22:33 I played a hotel in Vegas for a number of years that was not as nice as that. You know, just the carpet was nice. The rooms were clean. I know which one you're talking about. You know, I mean, it was, the theater was perfectly fine. But it wasn't, this Yamava place was exceptionally nice. and easy to work with. But yeah, I just, you know, next time I'll go a second if you want.
Starting point is 00:23:01 By the way, it was so lucky of me that you didn't walk over and pick up that guitar. Because I said he's killing so hard anyway. And me and Bobby were like, oh, no, if he gets that guitar, I'm just going to go home. Because it's too hard to follow. It's so good. Well, look, I don't know about follow or not follow because you're the greats. the great stand-ups. Sorry, Steve, I don't know what it's at the type
Starting point is 00:23:26 because I talk about it. But the guitar is a lethal weapon. I started using it in honky-tong clubs in the 80s. You know, show us your dick. You know, hell's angels attacked me. Beer, you know, the comedy underground, the second show on Friday when there's a bar, they're coming right from the bar.
Starting point is 00:23:44 Then I just started doing guitar stuff just to make noise and survive. And also calms, like they, It's hard to yell over that, and it just gets me to listen. I only regret because they went to the, they got it for me, they tuned it. Yeah, they were great. And the sound was big. But I'll get to it next time.
Starting point is 00:24:01 You know, at the very end, you were in slumbering, but I'm kidding. It goes a little late. So they were a good crowd for being later. At the last five minutes, I kid you not, two high rollers came in and sat in the front row like this. And I go, you are not just getting here. And they go. I go, do you see Dana? They go, mm-mm.
Starting point is 00:24:22 I go, you know what? I go, you know what? These are these people, because I said, bow to the high rollers, because they basically go, we're coming into gamble. We're high rollers. Front road to Spade and Carvey. Front road to any other show. Best restaurant, best table.
Starting point is 00:24:38 We might come to the show. Have the tickets ready. And they go, that's right. High roller, you get whatever you want. And that's so that first time I heard the phrase paper. you know we're going to paper it what do you mean well they're going to have high rollers they're not going to charge them for the show and if you get 100 200 of those you're halfway there i probably tell you this once but it's a story that it relates to this and i'm
Starting point is 00:25:03 quoting it exactly it was at the old the wind is there now the desert end or something like that anyway i was doing a sound check which i normally do and this kind of like dems and those guys was running the show dems and does so i accidentally asked him as it becomes an accident i go how are the ticket sales he said quote you know what do i give a shit i got indonesians dropping 16 lodge upstairs what do i give a shit i got indonesians dropping 16 lodge upstairs so the indonesians who are wealthy get their own private suite with young ladies and the whole thing and they bet a shit ton of money so what do i give a shit i got indonesians dropping 16 large upstairs it's so perfect
Starting point is 00:25:48 Kevin Neal and I think it was that he did a Vegas and he you know he's supposed to headline do they go do like 45 he did 48 he got off and the guy goes what the fuck are you doing three minutes they could be out in the fucking casino what are you doing trying to kill me And he's like, oh, I didn't. I thought it'd be better if I went along. He goes, who the fuck wants you to go along? Get off. Yeah. Well, Dennis is always, he's somebody who has show business, he knows show business. So when he played this hotel, he used to play, he would time it where he would leave his room, full stride.
Starting point is 00:26:23 I don't know if he had someone hold the elevator or not. And then he's walking right onto the stage as they're introducing him. He's not, there's no small talk, there's no green room, he just walked. right to the mic, destroys for an hour, because that's Dennis, right? And then there's a clock. And as soon as it hits 60,
Starting point is 00:26:43 even if he's in the middle of a bit, thank him good night. And he just kills, but he's just like, there's no settling in bits. Like I walk out, hey guys, oh,
Starting point is 00:26:54 I used to come to San Bernardino all the time because I'm in a gang. And so, you know what I mean? And so, and then they go, ah, ha, ha. And then, but Dennis walks out and he just goes, Ronald Reagan will be 77.
Starting point is 00:27:10 I was like, oh, we're starting, okay? And that goes to, you know, what's the one where I don't even let my grandfather is the remote control? Ronald Reagan is 77 at the end of his next term, and he has access to the button. Okay, to put it perspective, my grandfather's 77, we don't let him use the remote control in the TV cell. So, Dana, you have a massive house. Obviously, I have a little tiny shack that, you know, it's just humble.
Starting point is 00:27:39 Is 2,000 square feet massive? So when you need home security, which a lot of people do, it's not a bad thing. I always watch something online that shows someone got, and they always have video about front, which is better to have video. But could a home security system call security itself? to respond if someone's already inside. That's the idea. Can we improve this?
Starting point is 00:28:06 Can we make it better? And now, I guess we're about to announce there is a new way to actually stop someone from entering your home. Right. Simply say, if this is a little different, you can stop it before it happens. The idea is AI powered cameras detect threats while they're still outside your home and alert real security agents. And then the game changer is the agents take action. while the intruder is still outside. I like that.
Starting point is 00:28:34 They confront the intruder. They let them know they're being watched on camera and that the police is on the way and even sound in a siren or triggering a spotlight if needed. This is how you stop a crime before it starts. You want to get them when they're outside your house. That's real security.
Starting point is 00:28:51 I mean, listen, now and then, maybe it's someone on the sidewalk, but if someone's getting in your grill of your house, you want to stop it before. And you've got to let them know. You're already busted. you really want to do this? And they're like, nope.
Starting point is 00:29:03 Yep. And they're called monitoring agents. Simply sex monitoring agents. They got your back and they talk to the intruders, even if you aren't home. Yeah. No long-term contracts or hidden fees. You cancel any time. Name best home security system by U.S.
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Starting point is 00:30:10 Turns and conditions apply. Learn more at amex.ca. slash Y. Annex. You know how we always remember the quirkiest bit. So Dennis had another one, you know. They're coming out with that craftmatic bed these days. Have you seen that, you know? Getting that V going, you know.
Starting point is 00:30:27 what, you wake up and you go, wait a minute, did I blow myself last night? Yeah, you get that V going. It's decision time. Should I suck my own dick? Yeah. Oh, is that weird? He tagged it with that. I'm sure. Yeah. He says, the Lee Harvey Oswald, he goes, I haven't seen choreography that smooth since the Lee Harvey Oswald prison transfer. Boom. Yeah, and he goes, Jesus. He goes, and he goes, look at that. They pull him in. They go, hey, us. Jack Ruby's here. He owns a local strip club. He's got a handgun. Should I let him in? Yeah. Who the fuck are they turning away? He is probably the times where I had to follow Dennis, because we used to meet him and
Starting point is 00:31:13 Kevin went out a little bit and we'd flip a coin. You had to deal with that energy because that last 15 Pelosi's out there. And it's like a wave of just the his rhythm and that sarcasm and all the references and then here comes Dana Garnie isn't that special? Take me a while, man, to deal with that shit. I got something else to tell you. I'm going to read you something you didn't know.
Starting point is 00:31:38 Okay. That's hard because I know a lot. Even Heather will like this. This is just some fun facts about playing cards I didn't know. I learned this. 52 cards, the traditional playing cards thing? Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:51 Yeah. Oh, I thought you already knew it. Yep, 52 cards in a deck. was that the question no there's more to it um 52 cards equals 52 weeks in a year yes four suits is the four seasons yes black and red is day night 13 cards because 13 weeks in a season in each suit no one's shocked yet are you shocked yet i love this i'm a little i'm just i'm I'm really curious. It's why it's all tied into this one thing. Also, who invented these traditional playing cards?
Starting point is 00:32:27 I don't know. The last one is if you add the cards together and go Ace, Ace, 2, 2, 2, it's 364, if you add them all. And then 365 days is the Joker for Leapier. It's pretty cool. Isn't that cool if it all fits, if it's not full-on bullshit? would you rather be able to fucking a r i got a question for you not would you rather be able to juggle really well or would you rather be able to one of those guys with playing cards you know the lance burton and they're playing them out and then they're gone and i think the cards it's
Starting point is 00:33:07 too cool i would say the cards i palming cards i saw a guy there they palming he goes there's your card and he goes no cards no cards there's your card and it's on his i go i never know what's going on when they do the sleeve and they're like Like, there's the card and there's no card. It's like, unreal. I love it. Lance Burton was always, man, was he brilliant, is brilliant. Lance Burton, remember him?
Starting point is 00:33:29 Yeah. He'd be like this. Hey, folks, how you're doing? Then he'd have a lit candle in his hand. You know, what's up? He's in a tuxedo. And lit candle. You know, it's like, and then he goes like that and it's gone.
Starting point is 00:33:40 Oh, yeah. He's grievous guy. You can see Lance Burton. He's pretty good. You got to go see him. I'll get you in, half off. What about it? What about Gervett 20?
Starting point is 00:33:49 I'm doing a little trick to you. Watch. I know. It looks good. That phone, I didn't know where it went. Lance Burton. Yeah, he was one of Lance Burton's got. So just for the people at home that like to hear Gervett stories, I guess Dana doesn't like money.
Starting point is 00:34:06 He goes, I'm coming to your show. Lucky you. And I go, great. Brings his kid and Tommy from the office. And then they go. Nice boys. He goes, I got a booth for us. I know you like booths because you're a little baby.
Starting point is 00:34:16 So we got a booth. Five-15. I go, get you high check. 5.15, are we going to get sunburn? The show is at eight. And we do have a quick meet and green right before, but I go, 515, I go, what do we do? Do I go back to my room? That's a little smidge early.
Starting point is 00:34:34 He goes, nope, you know, it gets crazy in there. And a lot of people come to the show, 3,000 people. I go, all right, well, let's, maybe a little later. And he goes, why later? And I go, he goes, we got to get on this. I go, well, I don't want to rot for five. I don't go on until nine. So we, so at 4.58, he goes, downstairs.
Starting point is 00:34:55 Everything's just two syllables with a chirping posse. Downstairs, got your booth. Why not? Oh, I want a tuna sandwich. I can't eat it. My jaw hurts. Oh, my neck. That's his impression of me.
Starting point is 00:35:08 So I go, well, I'll order something, but I just got in. I think Dana's going to lay around for a second. So I go, I'll come down. But I feel guilty he's already there. and then I take a shower and get ready and then I write my set list and I send him in order just to buy some time okay, orders in within seconds
Starting point is 00:35:26 I go, all right is eat it now I got to do is eat it now what I got some bread I'll save you some I got you a napkin napkins already I folded it I was smart about that because I did the math and said I'm gonna relax here I don't I'm gonna go over my stand up notes and I'm gonna order room service
Starting point is 00:35:47 because I know it'll be fast because everyone's in the casino. And then I'm going to toddle in at 6.30, have a little water because too much small talk and too much backstage chatter kind of takes a little bit energy. So the time you go on stage, you're like exhausted. So I felt sorry for you down there. I go, fuck Spade's getting wiped out down there. I'm just relaxing up here with my notes. I finally text, Diego, Dana, come.
Starting point is 00:36:13 Because it was over. I was a desperate text, pretty much where. It was, where are you? Well, we were having fun, actually. Gerbitts is fun to hang out. No, it is fun. It's just energy before the show. And it was like 6.30.
Starting point is 00:36:24 I'm like, Danny, get down here. And then we'll all just hang out there instead of the green room because it was a nice place. And then his kid goes, you don't understand it. We got here at two. And I go, why too? And he goes, ask him. And Mark goes, got to get her early, got to set up, got to make sure he's okay, got him gamble a little bit. Jackson, here's $10.
Starting point is 00:36:42 Walk around for five hours. Spend it really well. It just, those guys were just. young strapping guys like six foot handsome young men walking around the casino but anyway this is what you said to me at 631 are you coming down coming spelled COMG denotes a bit of panic are you coming down we finished just hanging yeah meaning you don't have to order you don't do anything like I said yeah I was about to leave the room what's your problem I said where are you I don't want to the Pine Cone restaurant.
Starting point is 00:37:18 Fucking, we went to the Pine Cone. You know what happened to me? I met a super fan. Oh, boy, here's a super fan because I was fluffed and folded looking like Dana Farford. Oh, you brought them over. Well, then she goes, oh, oh, you're with David Spade.
Starting point is 00:37:30 Oh, can I give this to him? So I said, just follow me. Because she didn't seem dangerous. So I walked in and then she handed you something and that was it. I'm your biggest fan. Blam, blam, blam, blam. I go, Dana.
Starting point is 00:37:43 No, I mean, she did get you to do a soft. headlock which I thought was move. Hey, come here you. It was legal. Come on. Yeah, she gave me a note because I did a favor for her. That's right. That's what she said.
Starting point is 00:37:59 She was a very sweet. I kept the note, which was nice. I can read the room, David. I knew she wasn't. Yeah. I can read the room. I can read the fan. All right. What else did you do before we get to the headlines? What else do you got?
Starting point is 00:38:14 Well, it's just the week of the week of Trump right now so far, obviously, because of the ceasefire and the hostages being released. And it was really funny. Yeah. Well, that I wanted to talk about. I mean, obviously, Time Magazine and Trump are not best friends, but this piece thing. This is a reluctant cover. So somebody at Time magazine went up to the end. editor and go okay we're putting them on the cover we have to the hostages are back there could be a peace deal what picture would you like well sir um we have one where it's from below which shows kind of the folds in his neck yeah what's the worst like he's completely bald how about
Starting point is 00:39:03 he has yeah three wispy hairs or a cloud above his head that's so that is so funny that they're like we got to put him on but what is the absolute worst let's go right up his nose right under his chin and then it's like i hate to use your term vagina neck but he might have a little bit it's unfair because the shirt with a tie pulls your neck together like that yeah well look at us i mean basically a good for trump does a lot like his mugshot if they can find that was straightforward he took one of the best mug shots during all those trials and it's straightforward he juts his jaw and so this This one was, I thought it was just funny that they, they must have been laughing. Well, they go back.
Starting point is 00:39:49 Did they put his name on it? They don't put his name on it. No. It doesn't even say Trump on there. It said, this fucking guy. It said this fucking guy. Yeah. I mean, come on.
Starting point is 00:39:59 Do you have any other Time magazine, things you can pull up, Craig, of a regular one, like with, you know, Clinton or Obama or something? Because that is just, I thought it was pretty funny. I wouldn't even put that on fucking Instagram. Graham. Christ, six, you know, he's got more folds in his neck than the bend folds five, Karen. Ben folds five. So, okay, there we go.
Starting point is 00:40:23 Those are some good. Obama is that many? Oh, my God. Man, look at Obama's straightforward. There's a couple repeats on the top right. Click on that. That is a great picture. And the one with Hope is everywhere.
Starting point is 00:40:36 That was our third from the left. It's just his face four. Well, they're all great. That probably got in the election, that Hope one. oh yeah that one with the three colors trump's basically 80 and this is obama became president at what 45 also he didn't have any folds in his neck that's the thing the thing i want to say which i did i did in my stand-up at the casino you did obama i was about how it's hard to compliment trump if you have a problem with him so they'd sort of i was want to say there was the piece deal was a
Starting point is 00:41:11 great thing. Releasing the hostage. I want to give a shout out to Senator Ruby, or Secretary Rubio and Jared Kushner and and, and, um, excuse me.
Starting point is 00:41:25 Who's that? No, I said, Kushner and don't know. So, I mean, I did that, I did that and then I did it. I hatched it on our podcast and then I did it at the casino and it killed. That's always fun.
Starting point is 00:41:43 Mm-hmm. Okay, what next story? What else? Let's get into some stories. My fire alarm went off. I don't know if you want to hear about that. I would. Were you scared?
Starting point is 00:41:53 It's so boring. I scared shitless, dude. It was 2 a.m. Oh, it was 2 a.m. It's pouring rain. 2 a.m. And not just that, not that one, which will drive you bonkers,
Starting point is 00:42:05 but like full sirens and fire, fire. Oh, shit. I hate when it talks. It's a fire. So I pop out with no plan, but I'm scared. My heart's beating a million miles. And then it stops, and I'm like, I don't even know what to do. And here's how crazy I think someone did something.
Starting point is 00:42:25 I put a match up to a smoke going to flush me out of my bedroom. Like they're trying to rob the plate. So I freaked out. Well. The latest thought, it could be the hot air in the brain's room. Oh, really? Maybe. That's been a while.
Starting point is 00:42:40 You know the brains of a house where you have like... Yeah. They get hot, you know, all these machines. Got too warm inside a room. And it might be kicking it off. But it took this long. I've been here three or four years. But anyway, it went off.
Starting point is 00:42:54 I pooped my pants, obviously freaked out. And then it stopped, but I couldn't... I was like, are firemen coming? It was terrifying. Couldn't sleep for an hour. Oh, terrible. And then, you know, just whacked off, went to bed, whatever I do normally, and is to calm down.
Starting point is 00:43:08 And then I'm... So I wake up. But then I'm scared all day. We look in and we go, it'll never happen again, that night again. Fire, fire. At the same time or just at night? After our gig when I got home, at 5 in the morning this time. Never in the day.
Starting point is 00:43:24 Too convenient. AI will solve this, but that is, you want to know the weirdest thing I've ever seen at night? Or did you have finished your thoughts? Oh, well, yesterday we fixed him and Heather got electrocuted by it. Is it really fixed? Was it just a reboot? kind of thing he doesn't care no one cares i'm telling you you can try everyone and no one bites on that they go oh cool so she's alive or dead anyway um so it's you i got electrocuted dana
Starting point is 00:43:51 you did you did you're like you fell away and got a ladder you oh you got a shock and fell down 120 volts 1-2-0 volts wow what does that feel like your whole body your whole body you go geez didn't you know no one's giving her enough empathy on did you Do you have gloves on that? We did not have shit because we were rag tag mission. Put the ladder up. Get up. I tried it.
Starting point is 00:44:16 She tried it. I tried to. Unscrew, unscrew. Unplug. Forget the batteries. You got to get the wires out. Our guy goes, it won't shock you naturally. He's like, okay, it might shock you a little bit.
Starting point is 00:44:28 We're like, so he came over today. He's doing all of them. Reddoing all of them because I'm too scared. Mm-hmm. I would pay money to not have that. All this stuff wears you down. I mean. I go, Dana, I go, I'll pay anything.
Starting point is 00:44:41 I just want this to stop. He goes, all right, we're going to, each one's going to cost this much. I go, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I said, I'll pay anything. And then he goes, they're 40 bucks for a new one. I go, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Well, we bought a new range, brand new superstar range. Range.
Starting point is 00:45:00 And they put it in the kitchen. I had to take the old one out, 50 years old. Man, it's gorgeous. But if you put it to 400, the other. and it's to 3.50. So you have to put it to 4.50. So it was just bugging us like, what was wrong. So a guy came out like, hey, I'll fix this. You know, usually the customer is too stupid to understand. He's got the whole thing taken apart. He's on his knees in the kitchen. He's on the phone. I don't know, man. I don't know, man. So they're coming back.
Starting point is 00:45:30 Ah, more interesting. But I want to tell you the scariest I've ever been in the night. Go ahead. living in Encino didn't really understand or wasn't I knew what a possum was but was not aware of possums in particular so there's the alarm goes off or we believe that we're looking at a rat the side of border collie like it seemed like a 70-pound rat yeah and we're both flipped out and then we had to go oh shit it's going away and it's it's 2 a.m. Oh, it's a possum. It's a possum. But that one blink of a rat that big stayed with me. I thought the scariest you had been is when you had pressure on your chest from a ghost
Starting point is 00:46:17 when you're on a trip. Well, that was more, well, that was an actual poltergeist pressing down on me. It wasn't an illusion and it wasn't a mistaken rat. It was just because it happened. Then I go, I must have been an awaking dream state. Oh, I'll go back to sleep. and then happened right again when I was awake because I am, you know. I remember when you had that illusion, yeah. Yeah, no, that was this heavy weight, you know, about 150 pounds on me.
Starting point is 00:46:44 Terrify. I realized it was you. I went Spade. I woke up my wife. Don't we have a show you night? Let's get on the pod. You're like, hey, he, he, he, buddy.
Starting point is 00:46:57 Wake up, Dana. Go, get off me. This is a nice hotel. Get off. Off me, I'm trying to do Chris Farley. Get off. I'm starving. Lay off me. I'm starving. Okay, let's go to that story. This is a story you had about AI.
Starting point is 00:47:17 Okay, I just want to set this up, that this is real and this is the future, and you're seeing this at some port in America where everything is a robot controlled by AI. Or China, yeah. Or China. I think it's China. Oh, really? Boop, boo, bo. Oh, see, they don't crash. Nope. There's no road rage at all. No road rage. All control.
Starting point is 00:47:41 Look at how close they come. Yep. Not a problem. We fit right in. Self-driving. Tetris. Yep. I can handle that.
Starting point is 00:47:50 We would usually in America have a guy like this with a flag and the only is. But everything, yeah, everything comes off the boat. Everything has moved. Everything has moved to another, a truck or something without employees. and that's what I call a secular trend. Do you know what a secular trend is? No, sir. It's just things that aren't political.
Starting point is 00:48:11 They're sort of like, you know, people are aging. They're living longer. And now we're seeing robotics, AI, basically, doing all these jobs. Fighting it every step of the way. And that's not whoever is the president or the Congress. We're just transitioning into this world. Well, it saves money and that's what's making a good. that's a job of the corporation is to be more productive people that have jobs you have no jobs and it's
Starting point is 00:48:40 i know so universal basic income how much do you think it should be when there's just no jobs you got to give people oh uh it'll probably no 50,000 is that it too high too low i don't know i don't know I mean, every, I don't know what you'll be doing. We need money for gas, well, you need money, it will be like a microchip in your hand and you'll have to just go, I get this, I have carbon points against me, I can't do anything. It takes money out of your bank.
Starting point is 00:49:13 I mean, the future, I think those things are sort of happening. Well, you know, this slow transition to a lot of four-day weeks and stuff with companies, you know, three-day weekends, or work from home, or because of the AI and machinery and automation, you know, like a McDonald's might have one or two employees instead of eight or nine, you know, because of automation. So that's the first thing that's the planning jobs.
Starting point is 00:49:39 But I think initially, you know, a thousand a month is a good barrier for people who have some kind of job and have some income, but another thousand a month net keeps them. Did I go too high? Well, I don't know. It's depending how many, how do we do it? I don't know. This is, you know, Elon Musk is talking about it.
Starting point is 00:50:01 We're going to have to give money to people. We're going to give money. They won't be jokes. Gerberts's what? Heather, check in with him to see what he wants. Losing his mind. Gerwitz keeps calling and interrupting the podcast. He keeps track of her schedule.
Starting point is 00:50:18 He knows they're doing a podcast. No, I don't. I talk to Stephen Marty. It's a nice little run You start in Toronto That's all I'll say He has so many comedians He's like
Starting point is 00:50:29 Steve Martin and Martin Short are his favorites to put on the road I went and saw Steve and Marty Yeah I know They do a lot of dates They're great All right next story next story Next story keep it rolling
Starting point is 00:50:43 Keep moving We're rolling right along My glowing hair Where does that door Go into that thing. Where does the door go into the air? To the air? My biggest question that I get is where these doors go in my new place.
Starting point is 00:51:00 So you can actually open these doors, we're not supposed to because they're helping safety stuff, but you can't open them. Yeah, I don't really like heights, so I'm not open it. But when you're moving to a place like this high, basically you get given parachutes. So if anything happens, you have to open one of them doors and just send it. Is that true? Is that true? He's got a parachute in his closet, and if there's something happens, he'll parachute out. Did Tom Cruise design the building or something?
Starting point is 00:51:24 Well, if there was some sort of 9-11 situation, you were up there, you'd be like, if this is my only option and you're so high, I would never live one of those buildings. But if you're so high, what do you got to do? Get a Phillips and take the hinges off the door first. What's the highest you've lived, the highest building you've lived in? Oh, not much. I mean, even New York, it was probably like 12th floor. I don't like when your ears pop on an elevator. I don't like that.
Starting point is 00:51:50 I my first year there I was in a 44th floor at the Bromley Columbus Circle no then eventually I went to the Bromley it's like three floors you could jump if there was a dumpster and be safe you know who lived at the Bromley you Mike Farley for a while me first then they all came in yeah they did they follow because they go who do we know and someone says oh the Bromley's nice I was Upper West Sideway I never got to the Bromley it was too rich my blood but I think even kneeling maybe dennis well it was great i mean they had big big windows and that you're kind of on top of a movie theater you could leave for a movie starting at two o'clock at 159 and still be early so you know and it was columbus columbus avenue was a block away and it's a clumbus cafe and you know
Starting point is 00:52:40 it's like a really really good place to live um yeah so it was by columbus cafe that john went to a lot Love it. I went there a lot. Yeah. Columbus was cool. Okay, next one. Something about the richest man in. Man in China just bought a facility in New Hampshire. Now, what is he doing? He actually bought it for his beverage company.
Starting point is 00:53:11 For over $60 million, way over the asking price. And it's right next to what? The town's water supply. He's gathering two million. gallons per day for his beverage company so now the chinese have control of new hampshire's water supply allow a whole other country to buy up freeways because they bought highways in your hometown farmland highways so the the chinese just bought the data you know those fast lanes what they call them in in uh oh the speed lanes yeah speed lanes right they just bought a highway that's it either
Starting point is 00:53:43 what what can't they buy well i know that chicago sold the rights to the parking meters in town to Saudi Arabia because they needed quick money and now they're making a billion dollars more than they thought they would and so they really Saudi won that one but all that money goes to them now so I don't know could you buy things in China from America could you buy the same things I think that's the point of that whole thing is are we being dumb I don't um that that That is, that's the whole kind of issue, I guess, is like, can they can buy our stuff? Can we buy their stuff?
Starting point is 00:54:27 They can sell us their stuff? Can we sell our stuff? That's that whole tariff thing. Which every president has tariffs, but Trump went a little bigger. We're going to go big. We're going to go big. And when the people get mad now, he'll go, I'm the hostage guy. Leave me alone.
Starting point is 00:54:46 You just got to wait. It's going to be good. it's gonna be good i mean it is interesting how much the stock market just goes crazy if trump says something or jerome pal what happened with bitcoin the other day took a shit it took a mother i don't know it took the dirtiest shit it was like at 124 and in 30 minutes it dropped like 109 and then the raw i'm not going to say which ones but there was some apps that wouldn't let you buy low they're like we're having difficulties and i think there's one dude that bought and then it went back up and he do you do you and i'm just going to say this john kennett center
Starting point is 00:55:24 now david you be honest here do you understand bitcoin i do not i've i've had people who are you know this is the future and i've never quite grasp it i know because gold is like 4100 an ounce so i could see that a hedge alternative currency but i don't know why it goes up to a million dollar a coin in 2030 I mean someone could explain it to us but I all I know is in my dealings with it I buy high sell low you think you should buy low sell high I know I think I heard it wrong because I definitely got out I didn't really lose money but it went up and then it sort of came back down and then I got scared I just have some which I'd set a level that
Starting point is 00:56:18 it i can afford to lose it it was just like in case it goes to three million a coin i don't want to be you know it was chump chang sitting here with my dick in my hand yeah i agree i don't have any left but uh i do have a pokey monk no i don't have anything really i understand the premise of a company that makes goods or services that people really like yes and pay for those goods and services and then the company gushes in all this money and has net earnings and so forth i understand that but bitcoin as an alternative currency i can understand it and the built-in um scarcity that they have so so basically this is what i have a hard time wrap my mind around there's a seventh grader in 2009 hey man i'm gonna buy some bitcoin dude i don't know how much is it
Starting point is 00:57:15 It's about four cents a Bitcoin. I'm going to buy 500 of them. And then by 2016, that guy's worth $50 billion and gets out. He's like a high school senior. That I don't understand. I definitely would get out. I would never be the guy that keeps all in the whole time. I would be like, I'm going to trickle it out even if it goes up.
Starting point is 00:57:35 But I'm going to get something out of this shit. Because when FTX went down, that's why I sold mine because I go, oh, I didn't know it could go to zero. I thought it could just go up. and down, but everything went, like, this isn't even... FTX was when... Oh, that thing, you know, Tom Brady was tied into it. And you're like, oh... A cryptocurrency, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:57 Some crypto thing just flattened and I go, oh, I don't like this. Somebody could be just scamming, you know. Well, do you understand this concept? The greater fool theory? The greater fool theory is that you buy an asset, say, Bitcoin and eventually goes up and up and up. You bought it for like 3,000 a coin. Now it's 100,000 coin. So for you to make money, you got to sell it to someone who's not disturbed by getting in at 100,000 or 200,000. So all you need is a greater fool to sell it to. Get out,
Starting point is 00:58:31 convert it to cash, dollars, and then buy a mansion. But I'm not against Bitcoin. I hope it works out for friends of mine that are in it. I hope it has thesis. It already has. You know, 120 Bitcoin,000. Anyway. Okay, next one, let's see. And then we'll wrap up. We're getting... We're getting deep in the weeds.
Starting point is 00:58:53 It's been a great episode. It's been a fucking week. Okay. Okay, this just says the word machine. Oh, I know what this is. I thought it's like, not heavy. I watched these every night. How much time I need to do like, same like waiting?
Starting point is 00:59:10 Two, three years of training. Even with protein. I would say at least four. These guys are musclemen explaining to the january. We have to get anatoly. Is it okay, I will just try this joke. He's got to the same. These guys are the hilarious-looking muscle-roomed.
Starting point is 00:59:24 Look how fucking Roy did they are. And look at his little suit and his beard. He just picks it up. He's a professional weightlifter, but they don't know it. It's so great. Look at he looks at himself. I want these, yeah. He's one of the strongest men for his side.
Starting point is 00:59:43 in the world. We're doing like usually like this one. They use two hands, they can barely figure it. Yeah. I'm just one of my mouth. What do you think? I'm naturally strong. Look at the rock knock off.
Starting point is 00:59:57 They go, are you kidding, bro? You're gonna hurt yourself. That guy's the knock off the bald guy. I can't believe no one has seen it enough. He can still go into gyms and fool people, but Anatoly is a world-class, class weightlifter like he can bench like you know 500 pounds and deadlift 600 pounds he's incredibly strong for 510 170 and he goes in there puts on a fake beard and he does have a bit
Starting point is 01:00:26 of an accent but he plays like the idea guys guys you mind if i get in there it's like borat coming and they go yeah they think you're going to they say man you're going to hurt yourself man no i just want to show you great technique great and then he does it and then they go to their favorite I watch these all the time. My algorithm feeds at, I probably watched 10 of them last night. It's funny. I don't like prank ones, but that one is good because nobody gets heard. It's just funny.
Starting point is 01:00:51 It's not really mean. It's just, yeah. No, it's not mean. How do I do this? It's like, remember, we should go to a comedy club and just put on big beards and go, sorry, we don't really know. First time, could we please do comedy, you know? I don't know if it would be quite.
Starting point is 01:01:07 It's like when Jewel went into karaoke with a wig, like she was just part the girls from the office and then everyone's like she's fucking good i don't know we probably i'd probably bomb anyway by going too long with my scarface bit dana we all loved it oh it's great to have a you know i i sort of think to myself huh here i am 50 years in kind of or 40 years in and i still really care you know that i that i get a lot of laughs and i kind of a wonder, I go, it's not going to change my life, but it's the same vibe. Same feel. You want to do good. Every time you get hired, you want them to say, you're worth the money. We're glad we hired you. You did a good job. You were nice to people. You made
Starting point is 01:01:54 everyone happy. That's, I'm glad I saw that too. I don't like just walk in there and go, I don't give a shit. Oh, no. It's the exact same thing. When I do corporates, I know that a lot of great comedians have come before me over the years. And so I always want them to say, well, you were the best. It's my 10-year-old boy of competitiveness, you know. Right. Sometimes they go, oh, you know, after your show, they walk you back, they go, you know who really killed here was, and I go, that's all. I don't even need to hear the name.
Starting point is 01:02:24 That's fine. I know. You know who it probably was. Sinbad. I thought it was you. I just did one where they go, Dana's on our next one. I was like, yeah. I go to the trouble of spending a half hour online.
Starting point is 01:02:41 looking at the company and then I do stuff about them that's my my little hat that's smart you know I put an effort I mean I'm in the hotel room I'm waiting they're paying me a X you know very good money to do what I'm doing so you're like is Dale Watkins here from the executive branch of sales division they're like Dale I heard you I have all my schick I'll say to the minions that are there to guide me through I go so what do you I'm sorry but what do you want me to do again is it Is it stand up or can I just play the guitar and they take it seriously? And sing songs. Can I just talk to the people?
Starting point is 01:03:18 Yeah. Is it just sort of a... Am I just answering questions about the company? Right. Am I... Like, what? Do you mind if... I mean, I'm not sure what I was supposed to do here.
Starting point is 01:03:29 I was hired, but I'd like to sing a little bit first seriously. Can we play Duck, Duck, Duck, Goose? Have you ever had him go, don't do literally anything about the CEO. look at them don't say anything don't do anything they say no political statements yeah that's why i always say i don't i don't do political statement i roll up the whatever flag of whatever country i go oh for real okay oh okay so that there goes my chunk there goes my 20 minutes in the middle roll roll roll up uh but the way i do it it's not political statements it's just political comedy different all right well i think everyone i think everyone's walking away a little dumber today
Starting point is 01:04:10 and we learned about the greater fool theory we learned about automation so planning jobs and we try to entertain but if we can educate we're very happy to do it i think everyone's like this is like college yeah some people have to lie down they get they put a cold compress on their there you have so much learning all the intellectual stimulation these two dipshits are talking about so many things i can't even god why didn't we call this podcast these two dipshits it's such a good word it's a good word okay well Dana I'll see you next week probably
Starting point is 01:04:46 see you next week same bad time same bad channel hey guys if you're loving this podcast which you are be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app give us a review five star rating and maybe you can share an episode that you've loved with a friend
Starting point is 01:05:08 If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, and executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech.
Starting point is 01:05:29 Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wittek. Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us at fly on the wall at odyssey.com. That's A-U-D-A-C-Y-I-com.

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