Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY #13 - Pillow Fights

Episode Date: April 26, 2024

The guys chop it up about weight loss methods, slap boxing, David's upcoming film, and growing up poor. Submit video advice questions to [e-mail] To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Commence shit show. That's a big beginning. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's up? Shades aren't bad though. What do you mean? I mean, I didn't know there was a Shell station by your house.

Shell station? I got them at Exxon. Sometimes you miss it, Spudly. There is a Shell station across from this place I eat in Malibu. And I went in there and they're selling shirts. There's like five flannel shirts. I'm like, who's buying that? Oh, this one's not bad.

I bought one. I like those super super stations. You know, travel. There's all the trucks and there's like a store and you get knickknacks. I love it. Yeah. When you're driving, you pull over and just wander around in there aimlessly. Almost bought Heather a Puka Shell necklace.

At one of the... I thought it was her birthday, it was a little late. It was a buck 99, truth be told. You should have done it, it was her birthday this week. I know. You blew it. What's it like to be 26? Yeah.

She gave it a little slower one. It's on a need to know basis. Dana, this weekend, this week, of course I did gigs, but of course- Can we hear about them? Well, I'm looking forward to, I got two in Florida next week, which is Clearwater. Great town. And Scor Clearwater. Great town. And Scorlando.

Beautiful town. I like when people talk about major cities as towns. Chicago's a great town. That's a great little town. Rome is a terrific little suburb. Rome? I just went for Rome. So you're out on the road, you're going to Clearwater.

Yeah, I am going, but last week I did Houston, that was a private, then I came home, oh, I did my three days on that movie. Movies for Apple+. That's a secret movie. It's not really a secret, because it was already in deadline that I'm doing it, but it was, I'm not the star of it

that's Cameron Diaz and Keanu Reeves but I love them I think they're both cooler than shit. Absolutely Cameron Diaz back in the hunt I thought. Back in the hunt. Good for her she's awesome. She's one of my favorites and Jonah Hill wrote it with his buddy and he directed it and he's in it Jonah Hill wrote it with his buddy and he directed it and he's in it. So, uh, I think, yeah. So I think what I could, I mean, I just probably should not say a lot because they don't, but I'm, I'm not a big part, but I, uh, I'm one of Keanu's neighbors who's kind of an idiot, but Keanu,

by the way, could not be cooler as advertised. It's almost like nerve wracking to be around that. He's the most unassuming superstar. I did this event with him at Tom Hanks at a small theater where we all read Shakespeare and goofed around Julia Roberts was there. So there's a lunch break and we're all around a table. So I did my old trick. Has anyone ever experienced anything supernatural besides me? That's the joke part, but everyone has a ghost story, right?

Everyone goes around, I saw this light, I saw this thing. And Keanu is like 50 feet away at a table by himself facing away. And they're like, Keanu, come over here. It's too cool. He walks cool. He's got kind of a stiff walk from being in 15 Matrix movies.

He's like, and I'm like, I remember I got a little speed up on Dickie Roberts. I did some of my own stuff and he's like, yeah, great. Well, I put down my weapons. I mean, there was a whole rivalry between Bill and Ted and Wayne and Garth and it trended for a while. Part of me wanted- Oh, was there? Yeah. And I just wanted to go at those guys, man. Dresses Garth. Who do you think you are? You Bill or you Ted? But yeah, there's a, there was a slight comparison, but I think everybody's fine.

I think Buddy movies, comedies, and he's done cool stuff. And also we're sort of around the same time, those movies, you know? So, but he was very generous and sweet and when we do scenes with him, it's so funny, I couldn't get my lines in this one thing, they were stuck in a corpse. It made me sick because I see him going,

who's this fucking clown? Is this Jonah Hill, the director, looking at the monitor? No, Jonah couldn't be more of a great, high energy positive. And he wrote it, and it's a very cool movie. So it's set in LA, it's about LA. And I had a good time. I was a little nervous being on someone else's set instead of my own stuff I usually do.

You know, I sort of have fun. Well, you're kind of sort of, yeah, doing your own thing a little bit or doing something with friends or so. Yeah. You know? Yeah, or something I maybe co-wrote or something I have a big say in,

but just to walk onto a set, those are a little more tricky. By the way, did I interrupt you? Cause I only get five per podcast. I don't want to. No, that's it. That's the whole story. Did you hear about that?

This is very quick, but going one more time to Keanu Reeves, who's such an enigma in a great way, but he's taken a commuter flight at night. One of those smaller airlines to LA from, I think Santa Rosa or Northern California, engine trouble. You know, they got an emergency land in Bakersfield. So he doesn't have a car. Meet him.

He just hangs out with everybody else. A bus arrives to pick up all the passengers. This is the middle of the night and he gets drinks and brings people water and stuff, sits with all of them on the bus all the way into LA from Bakersfield and made sure everyone was home safe. It was like, you know. Yeah. Well, that sounds about right. He didn't seem overly cool at all, overly for being, he's such a monster star and he always gets good press. I'm like, everything I read about you is like, Keanu Reeves gave everyone he ever met a motorcycle this week. I'm like, God damn. What do you do when the lights aren't on? Or you do cool things when nobody's looking, right?

Put an extra quarter into the parking meter, just for taxes. Yeah, that goes somewhere. Someone's benefiting. And I go, you know what? That one's on me. All right. Now let's go on to our Cameron Diaz appraise fest. Now this person. Now we'll just say that she's, uh, I've always liked her and everyone does. She's great. So I was really lucky to just be part of that one. So I'm happy about that. Now we can continue. I just wanted to say a plug for an Apple TV movie that I don't know when it'll

be out. It'll be out probably. It's going to sit on the shelf. Movies that go on live streaming are in a kind of a bookstore. So it'll just be on Apple for decades. You'll hear about it soon. It doesn't matter what comes out. Now, what do we got other than that? What are our topics today? Well, I can start. I can start with anything. I'm always asked, you know, this is a quick one, Arnold asks, remember we were at Arnold's place

and he was interviewing, we were interviewing him and at the end he goes, let me ask you fellas a question. How do you stay so thin? Because thin is in and the little dogs are living longer than the big dogs. And you kind of get, well, we try to do this, we try to do that. But I never explained my five minute thing that I tell people if they're curious about how to

never worry about their weight again, without all the five minute thing in probably three minutes. Okay, go ahead. First of all, weigh every day, step on a digital scale, just stop weighing with no judgment. It doesn't matter what the number is. Just stand on it. Go, okay. That's gonna hypnotize your brain a little bit. What you wanna do, don't ever try to get to a bottom number and then you just bounce off of it. Try to slowly merge into a range you wanna live.

Like you would be like 110 to 120. You know what I mean? I think. But you find a paradigm and that's where you live in your paradigm. So you slowly trend into that. So say it's between 140 and 150, which is kind of where I'm at. So then you- You are really? Cause I'm close. I'm like the high end. I'm like 149. Yeah. That's, that's me right now. Yeah. I, I don't really worry about it. I just try to, but I just tell

people just weigh every day and it'll hypnotize the part of your brain where you'll sort of go, oh, I'm 160. If I kind of have a light lunch, I'll be 159. So that's the key to it. But most people stop weighing because they're gaining. When you're gaining is when you want to weigh. And then you give yourself a brownie point for like, no one would have three banana splits yesterday and four hot dogs and get on the scale. So the main thing is to keep weighing and hypnotize your brain, get in an area you want to live and just keep weighing. And I call it a thousand mini diets. You never want to wake up and go, fuck, I got to lose 20 pounds.

You want to wake up and go, I could use, I could lose a half pound. That's it. I did that half pound. That's it. Sorry, it took me so long. That's a good lesson. No, that's a good lesson. And I did that on the first grownups. I'd always weighed 145, no, 140. And when I was such a fucking pipsqueak,

and then I get on grownups, and you have to go to the doctor first. And it had the old scale. Oh, that thing, yeah, with clanks and yeah. And you put like the clanker on there and then you got the one pounder. And he puts it on, he goes, I'll put this one on 100.

And I go, put that on 140. Cause I go, he goes, what do you weigh? I go 140. He goes, 140? Yeah. He goes, why is he upset? Cause he's not believing me. And I go, why so upset? And I go, because he's not believing me. And I go, why is so curious?

And he goes, and he goes, I go, just write it down. He goes, why don't you jump on the scale while you're here? And I go, what if, I said, Adam's not going to like this. I told him, Adam Sandlin doesn't like when you try to bully me, you know? So I go, okay, so I put the big square on a hundred, you know how they do that? Right. Yeah, but then it gets you to 120. And then I put the little square on 100, you know how they do that? Right, yeah, but then it gets you to 120. And then I put the little one on,

I put that at 145, I go, oh, I'm a fat ox. Then I get on and it goes, you know? And I'm like, god damn. So yeah, you have to move it. So I gotta put on 150, and then I go back to zero. And then you go back, yeah. So I'm 150, and then he starts going, forever until he gets a cr. So I'm 150 and then he starts going, kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk talking about this is a good way to lose weight. Delta Burke says she tried crystal mesh. That'll do it. This must have been before ozempic.

Well, let me just say about that. I mean, that's obviously funny. I'm happy for her, but crash diets don't work. All they do is slow your metabolism down and you don't, it's not what you weigh. It's what you're made of. How much lean muscle do you have compared to fat? So people go, man, I'm my weight's really down. You go, yeah, but you look at your legs. You're standing on sticks. You're saying your body's fat up here and your little stick legs. Well, that's called a golf tee. That's guys in the gym who just work their arms and chest, but not their calves. Little tiny legs, little tiny ankles and tiny feet and huge shoulder and the packs are growing out and you look like a golf tee. Four! Play through. Yeah. How do you guys stay so tiny? Yeah. How do you guys stay so tiny? You know, because you could live a long time if you're tiny.

I know he goes, it's so great you're microscopic. I'm like, we're not. Let me tell you, how is it with the ladies when you get into the bed and she's twice as big as you are? We're like, Arnold, we're here to interview you. Yeah. Then he picks me up like Stuart Little. Your little mouse. Well, remember I said count my pushups and then he picks me up like Stuart Little. Your little mouse. Well, remember I said count my pushups?

And then it says, that's very good. Now you do them and I ride your back. So Arnold gets on my back and I'm trying to do pushups. The guy's like 225. I'm a giant. Yeah, I'm riding you. Now give me 10. You are a turtle.

People who didn't hear that episode are going, is he serious? Everything was serious until Arnold writing me. That's on the fly on the wall. Yeah. Which is available everywhere you get your podcasts. Available on podcasts. So is this one. So, you know, when, I don't know if you're fiddling with your phone, I had a credit card get stopped the other day, which happens sometimes, you know, and they say it doesn't work anymore. So they're saying, these subscriptions I have, God forbid, go away. And they're like, oh, you didn't pay these 89.

I'm like, I don't know. That's how I know I have too many. So they say, oh, and then I get my credit card fixed. And they're like, oh, you're back as a member at the trampoline center. I'm like, well, some of these I don't really want anymore. So I need rocket money because these guys go in there and they sift through it,

because I don't wanna do it. They find out what they sift through it because I don't want to do it. They find out what you have and what you do and don't need and then they do it for you. Yeah, but it is true. Babingabong has just charged you $25 for the last 84 months. Yeah, every month. And in that moment, do you want to go down that rabbit hole and it's just fighting for it and it's running from you and you're trying to cancel it, but you go, ah hell, it's 25 bucks or it's 12 bucks.

But Rocket Bunny goes in, does a deep dive, does all this stuff for you, clears it out, lists all the things that it got rid of and just streamlines your life and saves you money. I'm not even reading copy. I'm just, I know it by heart now. You just know this. It's a personal finance app for those of you who don't know that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills.

So, you know, obviously you can grow your savings. I have full control over my subscriptions and it's a clear view of me. I'm running the show, but they just do all the work for you. And that's just how I do it. They try to negotiate a lower bill for you. They go in there, and they average, you know, they try to get about 20% of a haircut in there.

All you do is submit a picture of your bill, Rocket Money takes care of the rest. They'll deal with the customer service, which I know you like to deal with. I don't like to call customer service. I love to wait on the phone and listen to music. I'm sort of a fan of it. And I clean, I vacuum and I wait. But believe me, this, you know what compounding means? Like if you have 10 things charging you 10 bucks a month, you know, over 10 years, hello. That's over $10. That's over.

No, it doesn't. It has a lot of money. There's a rocket money saves you money. It has over five. Get this David rocket money has over 5 million users has saved. Oh wow. A total of 500 million in canceled subscription. That is subscriptions.

Yeah. Members are getting about if, if I do it my head around $740 a year in savings. Yeah. Members are getting about, if I do it in my head, around $740 a year. In savings. Yeah. Wow. I'm going to call, I don't do this with all of our sponsors. I'm going to say it. No brainer. Yeah. I'm going to do something which I don't do. I'm going to tell you to stop wasting your money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash superfly. That's what? Rocketmoney.com slash superfly. And this is something I don't normally do

when we read ads, but what he said. Rocketmoney.com slash superfly. Nice. This woman really stepped in shit. It's the greatest term. It finally fits someone perfectly. Why she says, Sydney Sweeney isn't pretty and can't act. You couldn't have a worse quote out there for someone who's really at the top of her game right now

and doing well and like it says jealous. Incredibly, I'll read it for the drivers. This is a picture of a normal attractive 50 year old woman Well, like it says jealous. Incredibly, I'll read it for the drivers. This is a picture of a normal attractive 50 year old woman or average looking, not bad. But, and then a picture of young, lovely Sydney Sweeney. The headline is incredibly jealous and probably flat chested.

This is not us. Producer, Kara Balm slams Sydney Sweeney. Quote, she isn't pretty and can't act. The part that's real is that she did say that. Now, we don't have to tear her down on the way. I don't know whose article this is, it's funny though. It's probably some parody one. But Sydney Sweeney, this woman did say that

and I'm sure she regrets it because you can't, you're just asking for trouble. Yeah look, here's what I would say. The acting is overrated. I don't, I'm not even saying whether she's good or bad. What are you feeling when you see her? Like Elvis Presley or Marilyn Monroe, were they as good as Brando? But they were electric on the screen. I'd say John Wayne as well. I don't know what it is, but what I've seen of Sydney,

she has it. And that means you're attracted to her aura, her spirit and her physicality. And so, but I understand these human emotions. You kind of have to spiritually with yourself go, Oh, you're jealous. You know, make them your little buddy. Well, hi jealous. Oh, you don't have to put down that person. You're just that you're just kind of jealous right now. It's okay, you had your youth. I never wanted to be a grumpy old man and angry. Hey!

I don't like young people! I wanna go back, I want more life for me! And I hate, you met a grumpy old man when we were really young and they're just pissed at you just cause you're young, never gonna be that guy. Well here's one, cause I went to UFC pull this one up This is a this is a sport that's real and I thought you'd laugh at it even though I have nothing to say about it, there's a pillow fighting league and

Dudes not females males get up in there and beat the shit out of each other with pillows here. They give a clip try to I mean are they really? Somebody wants to tell me tomorrow. They throw that one in there. Are people watching that? I saw the crowds little sparse, but you know, it's definitely, I like people. There was, there was like, uh, you know, people sponsoring it on every pillow and there's Dr. Pepper over here and I'm like, this is real. The day UFC was on, I had the channel on,

I'm just watching before UFC came on, and I'm like, oh my God, there's a pillow fight and it's real, and unless they're full of like, Coke cans, like in that movie Bad Boys, like that's interesting, but just feather pillows, like hitting each other. I don't, I don't know. I don't see the strategy. The one that's adjacent to this,

that's related to your friend Dana White, is the slapping thing. I don't know if people have seen this, but two dudes sit across from each other, their hands are down, and they take turns slapping the shit out of each other. But they're really big, strong guys. It's, it's, it is extremely compelling to, to look at someone, take it because,

you know, you've shook in Mike Tyson's hand. If he slapped you, it's lethal. I mean, it's like, I shook him dead. I saw him at the fight. By the way, look at this. I saw him at the fight. Here's what they do. So they, even the worst thing, because in a UFC fight, you don't really know what's

coming, you know, you're getting in a UFC fight, you don't really know what's coming. You know you're getting in a fight which is already terrifying. But on slap fight, they go like this. You stand there, Dana, and the guy goes like this, right? Makes your face and he goes, one, two. And then you go, God damn it, this is the one I think I get it on. And then he goes, yeah, he's doing it. Wow.

Oh, there we are. Yeah. But usually every clip I see, the guy just blacks out. The guy actually, he gets kind of knocked out. He blacks out. He's semi-conscious. Yeah, most of them fall and just are like, cuckoo birds. So I don't know. It's appealing, Dana said it's doing great and the clips do well on YouTube.

There's one, I think it's in East Asia and I don't know if it's real, but it's called Sledgehammer. So you stand there and a guy has a sledgehammer and he just like hits you in the head with it. I'm trying to think what is worse than that. There's a porn where the girl kicks you in the balls. Let's look at a clip. No, I don't think we have it. There's called Grape Choke where a guy just shoves grapes in your mouth until you start choking. That one's big.

And I don't know, Australia, I think. Well, what's this one? Let's see what this is. Oh, this is the one I told you. They pull each other by the ears. Wow. Rubber bands. Heather, look at how horrible this is. Now, keep going.

Here's the one. See the guy in the right is ears. They're so casual. Look at them. What doesn't bother me. Don't bother me. None. Huh? Oh, look at his ear bending.

Sick. This is. Oh, my gross. Wow. You got his face on the right. I don't like it. Wow. Grandpa, I'm scared.

Yeah. Okay. It's gonna snap to just a snap. I hate you can't just. Oh, who's his coach? Oh, all right. For our drivers, we're just watching two guys somewhere with rubber bands around their ears attached to the other guy's ears, and they're pulling on each

other until someone would give up. When I look at that, I go, we are well fed on this earth. We used to hunt and gather all day and then sleep all night. Now it's like, what are we going to do? You can't even parody that. I thought my sledgehammer or grape choke was good, but geez. That's real. Yeah. These guys are real. And you just don't want your kid coming to you one day going, I found what I want to do. And you're like, oh, is it ear rubber band fighting? You're like, yep, my boy. Yeah.

All right. I put a pillow in each guy's hand and do pillow rubber band ear. Why don't they have girls pillow? I mean, if you're going to do pillow fight, I don't understand. We don't need either of them. Forget it.

Yeah. OK, let's go to the next one. What's next? What's next? Good stuff. Good stuff. Good stuff. Good stuff.

I don't know. These are some weird. Oh, this is Kim K, good stuff. Good stuff, good stuff. Good stuff. I don't know. These are some weird stories here. This is Kim K who we all like. I think Kim K's nice. I saw her at this thing the other night. I didn't talk to her. I did the Tonight Show. I think she's nice.

I didn't talk to her. I did the Tonight Show with her once with Jay Leno. Hey. She was incredibly nice. And she goes, well, what do you guys do for skincare? And Jay said, yeah, I just put water on my face. I don't wash it. I mean, I didn't either. I wash my face with, I wash my hair with soap. I just play no you don't do so

I still see a lot of it. Yeah, that's fine So I like Kim Kardashian and she's a very you said working business woman people go. What are the Kardashians do? Don't show the comments already Joke is okay. She's doing a dive on her entry, but she's in one foot of water. So she goes, look at, it looks like a dolphin a little bit right there, but she's diving and people clown her

because you're sort of doing a belly flop. You have to, or you're gonna get paralyzed, right? Not with a soft sand, no. And I think when I'm in the ocean, I try to get to the place. As soon as I can, I wanna get my head under the water. David, listen to this. You can write it down or hope you remember it.

Everybody grab a pen. If you're in cold water, that doesn't look cold, but it's kinda cold. You gotta get, you gotta bite the bullet, go under the water. All the way under, okay. And swim really hard for a bit. That's the only way to reduce freezing.

Warm your body up. So that's all Kim's doing. See how I defend her? Haters be hatin', lovers be lovin'. You know what I heard? I heard that haters gonna hate. Is that true? And what do lovers do?

Lovers gonna love. Are you drinking haterade? Okay. Let's go to. I had aade? Okay, let's go to, let's go to Michael J. Fox. All right. You know Michael J. Fox, hey, Saaj. Of course, from Saturday Night Live,

when he hosted there, it was awesome. And so he says, being famous was tougher in the 80s, you had to be talented, shots fired. This is a common theme, I with anyone that isn't an influencer. Everyone thinks they're so talented. Well, you know, go ahead. Give me your opinion because mine's probably too long-winded on this. I think it doesn't matter really whatever brings an audience. Different people are bringing a different audience for different reasons. Right?

Yes. And because of digital technology, someone can go on OliFans and reach people all around the world. The aggregate audience digitally on YouTube is five billion people. So now you have all these lanes. It used to be like really weird to be, from the first time you were on camera and stuff, because you may have known someone in the neighborhood with a Super 8 camera.

So everyone's a TV star, everyone has a voice. And I asked some talent managers, maybe six, seven years ago, out of curiosity, I go, does talent matter anymore? They immediately all said no, no. Jesus. If you're, there was a kid there's who was kind of nice looking and he lasted for a while just because he became a surrogate boyfriend on on YouTube. Hey,

hey gang, how you all doing? You know, he made a few million. So it's very dispiriting. But yeah, you don't have to be talented in the same way you used to because there were so few lanes. You just make your own little world and if it's outrageous, it's contagious. You can monetize your sexuality and in your case, and... My tasteful dick pics on OnlyFans. Some not so tasteful, there's a paywall.

It's worth it. Well, I wanna be an influencer. I'd love to do that. I'd love to hold up a watch there's a paywall. It's worth it. Well, I want to be an influencer. I'd love to do that. I'd love to hold up a watch and get a million dollars. I know, I want to do all this. Michael J. Fox is talented, so we can't take that away from him. You know, I think we've all,

I think I said this at the beginning and then I just gave up because no one's listening. I did a couple of sitcoms in the 80s. And I was terrible. I mean, couple of sitcoms in the 80s. I was terrible. Michael J. Fox on Family Ties was incredible timing. And then famously on the Back to the Future movies. It's hard to play the innocent, sincere guy

reacting all day long. A-SARCH. And also he's got that, you know, he had that kind of raspy voice. What's the movie? We haven't done it. Casualties of war. Ladies and gentlemen, this is one of my favorite impressions of David. This is Michael J. Fox in the Vietnam War movie Casualties of War.

I think they he's the new guy with all these jaded soldiers and they go and they grab this Korean girl or whatever. Sean Penn is like the badass. And John C. Reilly and they take her to another room to sort of fool around with her. And he goes, hey Sarge, hey what are we doing here exactly? You gotta give me a minute on this here. Oh Christ, it's Mallory? Mal?

That's a combination of an impression from a movie from 500 years ago and a TV show from 400 years ago. Well, someone sent me yesterday, I can't remember. They sent me Partridge Family versus the great one, the sketch on SNL. You were on the drums. I was David Cassie. You were front and center, dude. Yeah.

I was David Cassie. Sandler was in it. And of course, pretty much everybody kneeling. Yeah, the whole cast is in it. Chris Rock at the end, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was in my top maybe 20 sketches ever. I mean, I would probably take that back, but that's up there with very, very memorable.

Well, I think for our generation, which Bill Simmons, the famous podcaster, said, is that there, it was such a touchstone because of going back to the last thing, there wasn't that much television. I grew up with three channels. So everyone knew Brady Bunch and Patriot, uh, Partridge family and our generation. So when we did the rave off, it landed so good. And it's, I would say it,

it's probably one of the happiest sketches I can watch. Like I watch it and I'm just happy. And here's who's in it. When you go back in time, me, you Sandler, Chris Rock, Rob Schneider, Kevin Nealon, Mike Myers, Julia Sweeney, Siobhan. And the architect of the entire thing, Melanie Hutzel. Melanie Hutzel. Melanie Hutzel. Melanie Hutzel, that was her baby.

You know, I sent it to Sandler about a month ago because it popped up on my feed. Yeah. And we both laughed at how Farley plays Ruben Conte. Yeah, I know, that was Farley. That's a good sound. Showing another, he had that gear when he wanted to. He's playing kind of the sort of straight lace manager

and sort of very matter of fact. Kind of, but just any cut to him gets a laugh. He's just like this. Yeah. Just cause he looks different. He's got a big sport coat on. But he's playing kind of small and stuff. Yeah, he's playing it small, which is even funnier.

Really makes me laugh. Cause everyone knows how explosive he is, but yeah. Everybody in that thing makes me laugh. Everybody. All right, next one, next one. What else is up? That's a good sketch though, you can look it up. Yeah.

Yeah. Millionaire became homeless to prove that he could become a millionaire again without anything. In 2020, in the middle of the pandemic, Mike Black wanted to show that you can go from nothing to something with a bit of hard work to inspire people. He started with a cell phone, one pair of clothes, no place to live, drank his money, counted zero dollars,

cut himself off from his network, and had 12 million to make this happen. First, he used a couch surfing app and was able to get a spot in the Nice Gentlemen's RV for free. He got free stuff from Craigslist and sold them on marketplace with the help of the men of the glory hole.

He eventually got a job as a telemarketer, paying about $35,000 a year, but still had a long way to go. Eventually, he got enough to lease a property and then sublet the rooms. But throughout this whole experience, he never once slept on the streets. And even with that, he had to end the project two months early because his mental and physical health was crumbling he ended up being $935,000 short of his one million dollar goal and admitted to the worst time of his life. That's pretty good I don't know. Was that Mark Zuckerberg's story? I wish Zuckerberg would try that. Like it's so funny cuz I thought oh my god

he's gonna make it and he's, he totally quit and went bananas. It is fucking brutal. What's he doing? Cuts himself off from all his money and just goes out there with a pogo stick and a five dollar cash app. I'll tell you what, it didn't work. You know, in today's world, you're just looking at it.

If I got a couple of dollars in my pocket, you know, I love it. Yeah. You got some beans in your jeans. Alec Baldwin was saying, I got a couple of bucks in my pocket. And it seems like everybody just on social media and daily mail and all the nonsense is rich. Everybody is incredibly rich now. And so the pressure of thinking there's this other magic world to go live in, billionaires, they were quiet. We didn't see them on their yachts. So it's another modern thing that's making people crazy. They weren't jacked and juiced.

If I get a billion, I'm gonna- But I was rooting for that guy when I was watching it. I was too, I'm like, he's gonna make it. And then he's like, then he was dry humping a railroad tie and got splinters in his dick. It's like he went a little crazy. I understand, it's a hard thing. I wouldn't try to do it myself.

I just cling on to any money I have at night and kiss it like this. Mm. I'm the exact opposite. Yeah, I mean, you know, how would you deal with it, you know, if somehow you gotta hold on that type of money? It's like I was broke all growing up,

cut to a shot of me living in a mansion. I was broke growing up and so I never wanna go back. That's what scares you, to be totally broke, but like to wonder like, oh, we don't have rent, oh, we don't have this. You know, as a kid and my mom working the two jobs, sounds fake, but it was. Three boys were all assholes, you know, growing up.

You don't know you're broke, so you're like, why don't we have more stuff? You know how things stick out from your childhood, just things that were said to you? So there was five kids in a track home, it's about maybe 15 to 1700 square feet. And so, you know, we never had a new car and all this. But I didn't, wasn't really thinking,

we did have a used TV and all that, but I didn't think about being poor. And then a kid in the neighborhood, somehow I was like fourth grade, kind of vulnerable. And then a kid in the neighborhood, somehow, I was like fourth grade, kind of vulnerable. And I go, he was talking about someone, I go, were they poor? And he goes, yeah, yeah, kind of like you.

And I remember going, I'm poor? What the fuck? I didn't know. Dude, I got the same shit. A guy at kickball told me, he goes, hey Spade, I heard your family's poor. And being poor wasn't a real panty dropper, even in fourth grade, because girls are like wait

What's going on and everyone got quiet and I go no you I think you got some bad Intel guy I don't know, but I don't know if I'm poor, but I don't want to I'm like no and he goes no You're poor. That's the word. I'm like what a cockbarker and I know and then I argued him I go what our car What would we have two tires on our front yard if we were poor? And he's like, yeah. And I go, no, no, we have a car. And then we have two extra ones laying in the grass. If you're really poor, your car's on blocks

and your house is on wheels. Ah. But suffice to say, so people don't play violins, we had food on the table. It was, you know, my dad would buy a side of beef and it was mostly gristle. Oh, Jesus Christ, get the gristle. The gristle's the best part.

It's just juicy fat bone. Everything's the best part when it's gristle. Oh, Jesus Christ. And then we had caro syrup because like Aunt Jemima syrup was more expensive and that was like the liquid clear syrup. Carro syrup, that's motor oil, isn't it?

I wanted to play saxophone in fifth grade, but it was $7 to rent, $7 a month or something to rent the saxophone. What do you think of Nilsson J. Rockefeller? No, but every day I go, I'll get it tomorrow. And finally I asked my parents, they go, we can't afford that. So I had to go in and go, actually, so where's your saxophone? It ain't coming. There is no saxophone.

Do you want to try it? The teacher goes, you can blow me for free if you want to practice. And you're like, well. Why would we go to a full room? Where did it go to that? No, it's a great and scene. Yeah.

Okay, what do we do to wrap up? Do we have anybody put a video in? I had a funny thing today. Oh, you have a do to wrap up? Do we have any, anybody write, put a video in? I had a funny thing today. Oh, you have a funny thing? Okay. Let's hear it. Well, I saw Biden got up there and gave a speech. Oh, that's right. Biden gave a speech and he- So- Go ahead. Yeah. Well, what did he say before that? Because sometimes you're, okay, we'll make it so it's nonpartisan. We'll shit on Trump in a second, but Biden actually, he said, he says something and then there's clearly this other word

that's more of a direction to him, but I think he said, there's gonna be four more years. Yeah, that's it, I'm looking at you. So he says, yeah, it's like, yeah, there's gonna be four more years, pause. Pause, Pause. Yeah. And then the ground was like this screaming. But he did have a good joke. I'll give him credit.

He had a good joke. He said something like, yeah, Trump, you ever a guy, have a guy in high school, you want to just hit him with a left hook? Yeah, I shouldn't say that. I shouldn't say that. I want to hit him with the left hook. You know, Trump said that you got to put hydrogen peroxide during COVID. You got injected in your arm. Instead he put it on his hair and they went bananas.

Did he say that? Yeah. Pretty good joke. Who wrote that joke? You know, Jesus, I, I, I saw him go, Hey, came to buy and he goes, he goes, yeah, yeah. him go, hey, came to Biden. He goes, yeah, yeah. You wanna wind up four more years with that guy? Question mark, question mark. It's a little like Michael J. Fox. Is it?

Hey, Sarge. Biden. Sarge, am I too old to be president, Sarge? Hey, Sarge, you want that guy? No, that guy, I tell you, I don't know, I just do it. If you wanna go back to the core. What happens when Obama's listening to this at home with Clinton?

No, just Michelle, I'm watching Joe. Hold on a second. Holy shit. He said pause. No, it was in the direction. He said four more years, and there was direction to him to stop talking. So the crowd can go crazy.

It's that Joe went four more years. Pause. He said pause. He said pause. Michelle, he said pause. Fucked up. Let me call Bill Clinton. Bring, bring, bring, bring.

Hey, what's up? I, are you, are you asking about Joe? I saw, I saw it. Oh, he said pause. He said pause. Joe? I saw it. I saw it. Oh, he said pause. He said pause. I go, no, you cannot do that. That means to stop talking.

He kept going. I can't believe it. Hello? Hello? Michelle, I hung up on him. Michelle, Michelle, do you still get it? He said the word pause. No, he said it out loud.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one can get it. They're like, you're joking. Well, I think it's funny. And he does get laughs at that. If he's doing that on purpose, it out loud. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one can get it. They're like, you're joking. Well, I think it's funny and he does get laughs at that. If he's doing that on purpose, it's funny. No, he had to go, that's fine. And Trump's just, I don't know, I assume the next movie they're gonna jail him

for being contempt of court or something. I saw him doing one of his after court briefings, but he seemed like he was in like a Folger's can. He's like, I'm in this room right now. And I'm like, I know it's obviously not mic'd up. It's not professional. No, he's in some partial underground garage or some overhead thing. Janitor's closet.

OK, do it quick, quick. No one is the fix is in. It's a hit job. It's a hit job. Is the fix is in this whole thing is corrupt. It's election interference. You know is corrupt, it's election interference. You know that word, election interference? So they're the ones that are interfering, and they shouldn't be, they shouldn't be,

and you know they shouldn't be. I wonder since his hair is orange, if he gets a jumpsuit, they'll make it lighter brown or black or something. Yeah, that shouldn't, unless he wants to be all orange, that's not a good palette for him. I think he should have a different color. You're right.

I'll just say the world's a little crazy right now. That's, I'm just gonna go out on a limb. I'm gonna talk about it more next week. But do we have any people that wrote in for advice or no? Is that it? No, okay. You can video yourself giving advice and we give the best advice.

No offense. It's unbelievable. We gave a lot of advice on this one. Straighten out a lot of people. Okay. Well, thank you, Dana. And it was really fun. My pleasure.

And we might have a guest next week. Ooh, maybe a secret guest. Who knows? Don't give it away. Somebody familiar to us. Well, thanks guys, thanks for listening. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time.

Bye bye. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly as executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it!