Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY #15 - ROASTED!

Episode Date: May 10, 2024

David and Dana get deep about roots, celebrity golf outings, AI, and pickup lines. Submit advice questions on video to [e-mail] Watch the full episodes here: https://www.youtube.com/@flyonthewallpod To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Let me tell you. Cat Williams. Love it. Cat Williams. Fantastic. The first thing I said is I go, I hope we're good because last time they made me play for the tips, which is the farthest ones. And he goes, people don't make you do anything.

You do what you want in life. I go, oh boy. So it's going to be like this. So it was actually, it's like a slow down Chris Rock on 33. Wisdom, wisdom alert. Hi everybody. Welcome to Superfly. When I hear from people, I just want to eavesdrop, or Superfly on the wall. You guys talking regular. So here we are. We don't talk in regular.

Some people don't know there is super fly, which is the video component. And then we have the regular fly on the wall. But Dana, I'll get right to it. I just got in from a. Netflix is a joke has been going on in L.A. So there's a lot of comedians in town. Crazy. It's crazy.

And so it's fucking bananas. It's fucking nuts. And we'll talk about the roast in a second, but the first thing I did a golf tournament just for shits and giggles. And I said, team me up with a comedian. Cause I don't know if you've done charity golf things. I do it.

I'm not really a great golfer, but they're like, oh, for sure. When I do regular ones, it's for charity. And then you get there and you're teamed up with four contest winners, you know, for charity people that donated. And the guy's like, who's your squank Meyer? And I'll be with you for the next five and a half hours. And it's not even a meet and greet.

It is in your be with you for the next five and a half hours. And it's not even a meet and greet. It is in your car with you. So now you make up jokes and you just go out there and just wing it. Bob Squankmeyer has seven Netflix specials. I just looked it up on my phone. Oh, he's a real guy? Oh, Bob Squankmeyer. And he's killing it?

Oh, Bob, he's great. Crushing, revolutionary. That's on my regular, just do you wanna do a charity golf tournament, which are all very good and well, and I've done a lot of them, but sometimes it's hard because then they get wasted. So, uh, right. The 19th hole starts early. I, why can't, why does it always have to be golf for charity?

Why couldn't it be checkers and an air conditioned bar? It's just a checkers tournament. Yeah. That's what you would be? It's just a checkers tournament. Yeah. You would be good at like Sudoku or something tournament. Chess. I get my kings going. I'll get my kings fucking riled up. I get my kings going, man.

Get my pawns marching forward. Pop them Bishop's runs. No, that's chess. That's too sophisticated. But today's was easier because I said there's comedians involved and they said, I don't want to do it. And they go, it's all comedians, a couple of athletes. So it wasn't really pair you up with four total strangers, which is fun for a while.

But it's more like, because one's always shit faced. So they go, oh, and I said, oh, how about I could do it with Bill Burr or put me with, I think Anderson, Tina was there, Nate Bregazzi. So I said, there's a bunch that golf, so, and they're doing it. So they said, okay, great. Tina was golfing, Tina Fey? No, she wasn't there.

Oh, okay. It was just, well, you knew most of the guys. So I get there and I go, where's my squad? Oh, I also said Rob Lowe. So I get there and I go, where's my squad? I also said Rob Lowe. So I see Rob Lowe, are we together? No. I go, oh, don't do this to me. So they pair me up.

But it still is fun because I wound up being with Keen and Allen, who's a wide receiver for the Chargers, who I know way out of my fantasy football team. Great, grand, wonderful. Good, good athlete. And it's a scramble not to lose you with the lingo But it means everybody hits and then you take the best ball and I'm like, oh That I can drive and then these football players will drive it farther and then we take their ball And I look good. Maybe you should be the de facto putter with your neck. I was. I was chipper putter. And yeah. So you're lethal with a putter in

your hands. I'm actually good. There's sometimes I come alive and it was a really nice course. So I get there. I'm seeing I see Nate. I see all the guys and then I go oh I'm here waiting for Kenan Allen. No show. No show. Doesn't come. So we're in a foursome, but the foursome is, let me tell you, Cat Williams. Love it. Cat Williams. Fantastic. And Blake Griffin. And so Cat goes, hey man, I can hear your voice all day. I'm listening to your comedy all my life. He was so fucking funny. And he was great. And he's so in the news lately with all these things.

And the first thing I said is I go, I hope we're good because last time they made me play for the tips, which is the farthest ones. And he goes, people don't make you do anything. You do what you want in life. I go, oh boy. So it's gonna be like this.

So it was actually, it's like a slow down Chris Rock on 33. Wisdom, wisdom alert. Yeah, he gave me something. I go, keep it coming, dude, cause this is what I want you. If you can't keep your head down, nothing's gonna go right today.

Yeah. That was my best cat. It was good. Cat is a tough one too. He's got a very unique voice. And he was a lot of fun. And we did pretty good actually. But I barely knew. You know, we were talking to our friend,

Jerry Seinfeld recently about goats and every once in a while, someone kind of owns the space of standup. Chris Rock has had multiple times doing that late 90s. And we talked about Chappelle and Louis and Sebastian, but there was a time where I was, I didn't know who Kat Williams was and it was his first special on Netflix and I said he reinvented the form with his physicality, his rhythm, everything. So I would put him right up there with anybody as a stand-up.

Yeah, I asked Chris Rock because I said, did you see him on this whatever? And he goes, this is a couple of weeks ago. He goes, he that first special came out and it really, you know, a lot of people, their first special is the one because it introduces you to such a wide audience. And then you do specials after that. But the first one people. Well, there's there's a little bit of a story behind that because I was getting ready to do a special when that came out. And I like to keep things kind of not super locked up, like just a head

moving across a giant 60 inch Panamision. So I love the way his first one was shot because he's very physical. He's running around. He's wide. He's using the mic and tying up like a horse with the chair and all this Panama, you know? And I go, and I said it to the Netflix guy, man, I love the way cat Williams special. He goes, well, we didn't do it. We weren't too happy with it, but we put it on anyway. He did it off label, maybe paid for it himself. Oh, yeah. But yeah, a lot of comics do it themselves and they sell it. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably the way to go, though, if he did it right.

Yeah. That's inside baseball right there. Well, then they all don't look the same. That's good know you like that idea too i think um well i don't like too much cuts i don't want to be in a an imaginary chair in a theater that flies so you're watching a guy like waist up all of a sudden he's tiny then you're coming in the chair right into his face you know like all these cuts every second i like to hold for a little minute. Yeah, yeah, I do like that. I'll direct your next special. I think I'm doing one this year, yeah.

I think you're doing one too. But directing, I'm gonna direct it. Also, they also, I like in movies like Tarantino, they just hold on a two-shot with people talking and never cut in. Just let's listen to them talk. I get it. Woody Allen kind of, they call it the moving master, where the camera's just moving, it's a three-shot, it's a to them talk. I get it. Woody Allen kind of, they call it the moving master

where the camera is just moving. It's a three shot. It's a two shot. And so you're not editorializing for drama. You go smash cut the monster just came. But for a comedian, if you go smash cut to their face, here comes the funny, you know, there's a reason the cowboy shot David explained the audience with the cowboy shot is. I think the cowboy shot is waist up. Is if you had pistols on, they'd be sort of mid upper thigh. So that's what Johnny Carson, you know, Jack Parr started with this, Jimmy Fallon does it now. It's basically the one person who had it better than most

was Letterman. You wanna know why? Yeah, why? Because Letterman had the, the camera was actually on the stage with him and he could walk into a close up. So Letterman could be back and people do it. I think Fallon does it, but that's very effective that he's moving closer to you go on. That's what I'm thinking. Then he moves back for people watching this on YouTube.

It's like, Hey, you know what I mean? And then back here. Yeah, I like that. I like that. I like to teach. Thank you. Also, the roast was recently. Yes, within the last few days, it's it's reverberating all over the world. Yeah, I think I was I think Kat did a live special on Netflix the night before the roast, which I saw some of that. Interesting. And then they did it. They're they're moving into more live going on. special on Netflix the night before the roast, which is interesting. And then they're moving into more live.

There are things going on that I got to tell you all about. You don't want to know about. I was just watching what Chappelle always said, if you can't be funny, make sure your topics are really interesting. So Kat always goes into some global whatever motif. So you're going to say, what is he gonna say? Things are happening that you don't know about on planet Earth.

It's really interesting. You know what's funny is my neck gives me trouble when we're golfing, so I'm starting to puss out toward the end, but I don't quit. I just say, I don't think I'm gonna drive since we got powerhouse Blake cracking him three times. You're not a quitter, I'll just say. Not a quitter, because he goes, we need you.

So I said, okay. So we get up there and I don't take a drive, I don't take a drive. Then the next one, it's a par three and he goes, I think you can hit the green for me. So I crack one about two feet from the green and he goes, and I go, oh yeah. And he goes, this guy was in a hostile asshole. And now he's jumping around like he's King Kong. It's so true. I was in a hostel because my neck hurt. And I was like, I don't know. Have you ever golfed with Bill Burkis?

His persona on stage would be like, you know, why do we have golf tee? Yeah. You brought your head up. You brought your head up. Every time. You gotta keep your head down. I will tell you, I saw Bill. He comes in late. What's going on? Are we going?

What are we doing? We all going at the same time? And he's got his shirt untucked and he's got like drawstring sweats slash pajamas. And I go, oh, I think because it's Riviera, you gotta tuck in. He goes, tuck in what? I go, tuck in your shirt because it's Riviera, you gotta tuck in, he goes, tuck in what? I go, tuck in your shirt, I don't care if you do. Ah, fuck do we, what is this shit? There is a movement.

He tucks it in and he's got his drawstring out, I go, I don't think they want that either. I go, I got called in, I had to go buy shorts when Timer Pants, because I had black sweats, I was cheating, and they go, mm-mm, I'll try to pull sweats on us. It's with a cart, it's $1,200 for nine holes to play there.

And you got a guy in jaw-straight pants and a tank top holding a Bud Light with just one club. Let's do this! You know, it's like Happy Madison cannot play. Exactly, people live on the course. And I always go, you don't wanna live on that live on that first hole because 6 AM you're getting your coffee and you hear some guys shank it and go, conk. You're like, Oh, I know. I once had an apartment and, uh, I looked over the first hole where they would tee off

and I'd opened the screen door. It was, Hancock Park. And I could look at it. And in the morning I'd be having coffee and I'd just hear, Fuck! God damn it! That's all I heard over and over again. Shank, bitch! Yeah. Okay, we'll talk about the roast quickly and then we'll get into topics, you know. But the roast was very good. You liked it, didn't you? Well, just to get into it from a different angle, like,

they've been having these for about 60, 70 years. You liked it, didn't you? Well, just to get into it from a different angle, like the, they've been having these for about 60, 70 years. I'm assumed they had them in Vaudeville. It's a very interesting psycho social. When you would watch the Dean Martin roast for you people over 70, it was, it was cute compared to this. Now it is, you can't help, but it's a reality show that's so intense. I mean, it was, there were moments that were amazing and you always wonder, the only question I have for Tom Brady, it's been a few days later, are you glad you did it or wish you hadn't done it or have no opinion?

Right. My question, Tom is it's is, it can't be the money. Someone's gonna say they threw a lot of money at him. It can't be the money because he's got too much. He'll never spend it, he'll never get the end of it. So I think Tom Brady- I have a theory, but I wanna hear your theory. Oh, my theory is, first of all it's fun. It's like authentic, you get to see behind the scenes.

You never see Tom Brady say fuck. You never get to see him with his helmet off for more than 10 minutes. Like that was fun for me. Great looking, chiseled, and sitting there and taking a fucking beating. And from some people he didn't know, and that's the hard part for me,

I wouldn't do that part. I wouldn't get roasted. And even if I did, even if it was people I knew, you don't wanna get, if people go too deep, they can't help it. Well, yeah, you know, it's one or two things. Either you're getting roasted and you don't have kids that are young teens,

or you're getting roasted and you have kids that are young teens. So they might as well be sitting next to you on stage because it's going to blast out. So, you know, marriage and all that. The only thing I can think of if Tom Brady at night ever checks comments from freaks, that would be a version of that show going at him at all these angles because he's really good looking and he's worth a billion dollars and he's the greatest athlete of all time. So he invites jealous hatred. These comedians just want to come up with the best joke.

You can tell that no one, they all love him. But like the game of like what Kevin Hart came out with laying the ground rules. Nikki Glaser came in strong. I mean, there were a lot of, a lot of great jokes and hard to land in that audience. So, and you want it to be concise. You want to do something no one else is doing. You don't want to overlap. Um, we'll get into that cause we have Nikki on fly on the wall, but you know,

the fact that you, I've done a roast and I've actually done one. And when you're, I was the host sort of like Kevin, they've, they've gotten rougher over the years. You thought they were rough, but it It wasn't just me, right? It's getting. No, no. One of the overarching points is, I thought a theme was,

non-PC is back. I mean, that crowd was a lot of people, and it was a great crowd, which is very hard to get. Almost everyone did well. And you can't sweeten it, it's live. In a long show, because you're following people that have destroyed, Almost everyone did well. And you can't sweeten it. It's live. In a long show.

Because you're following people that have destroyed, just killed, and then you're coming out. And a lot of there has to be some overlap. It's going to be about the Jiu Jitsu guy with the wife and it's going to be that maybe he's gay or whatever it is. It's no holds barred. But that was completely unwoke. Unwoke for sure.

It was crazy and everyone was going along with it. And there were some jokes that were crazy. I thought Tony Hinchcliffe, who does Kill Tony, the thing I told you I did about a couple of weeks ago was he did a really good job because, you know, no pressure. He comes out of the audience. You notice that they don't really know who he is. He is in a household name.

He does something with Dana. Then he just walks up with a mic and he starts talking and you're like, what is he doing? And then he says something about Jeff. Then there people like oh, this is kind of funny then wham wham wham Then he's like Rodney King liver King. Remember that run? Yeah, great one. That was a great one Great, great great jokes and you're right It does soften it a little bit when you're coming out of the audience, who is this guy rather than, you know, just expectations or they're sitting up there. I mean, I think I saw Nick, she, she kind of did a big sigh on one of the wide shots before she came out because the, you know, it's all these celebrities you're seeing Kevin

Hart kill and it's going on and on and Jeff Ross. And then, you know, it's a little nerve wracking. Honestly, I think when I did the roast, you're supposed to do seven minutes or six minutes. And everyone last night did 15. I mean, it went forever. We'll get into that with Nicky. So you have to switch over. By the way, I ran into Drew Bled.

So today. And I was like, you must be I said he did a good job because for someone who they don't really know for a casual viewer, Drew Bledsoe goes integral in the story of Tom Brady. And I think it got explained, but definitely you're going there to be like, I don't know, to show up there is hard. But you're mixing professional athletes with professional comedians. It's not a fair fight.

Just like comedians get their ass kicked on a football field. Yeah. But he even said, he goes, the athletes I think did better than the comedians would do playing football. And I said, okay, there you go. Yeah. So I thought he handled himself great. He did.

I thought he was cool. He's 10 feet tall. I walked up and he goes, how are you? Drew blood. So I go, oh shit he was cool. By the way, he's 10 feet tall. I walked up and was like, he goes, how are you, Drew Blood? So I go, oh shit, you were just on the roast, dude. Oh, he's not one of those pipsqueak quarterbacks. He's an actual six-four. Some of them are a little smaller. They're really, yeah, five, nine and a half, 160,

running it out of the pocket. Yeah, Kyler Murray plays for my Cardinals, and he's four'1". Anyway. Warmer, sunnier days are calling, Dana. Fuel up with factors. No prep, no mess meals. Meet your wellness goals in time for summer thanks to the menu of chef-crafted meals with options like Calorie Smart, Protein Plus, and Keto. Factors fresh, never frozen meals are dietitian approved and ready to eat in just two minutes. So no matter how busy you are, you'll always have time to enjoy nutritious, great tasting meals. That's right.

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SUPERFLY50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. Hey David, can I ask you a question? Go right ahead. Why do you wanna learn a new language? Where would you use it and how would it come in handy? Well, I think I have to eventually go to France or go to one of these places and be a world

traveler, get a crowbar on my wall and spend some money. But you know, I don't, I'm a little nervous about going without knowing a language and that's where Rosetta Stone would come in in that scenario because that's probably the best way to get in there, learn something, get the basics, and more than the basics if you want, but this is the place for sure. Rosetta Stone is the most trusted language learning program available on desktop or as an app.

Yeah. And it immerses you. You know that word, David? It immerses you. I've heard of it. In the language you want to learn. So it's not just like, hey, here's language, repeat after me. It's like it makes you think in the language.

It makes you talk in it. It gives you the actual local dialect so you don't sound like a stiff guy. Speech recognition, built-in true accent feature. Pronunciate the words. It's like having a personal trainer for your accent. recognition, built in true accent feature. Pronunciate the words truly. It's like having a personal trainer for your accent. By the way, 25 languages, so you know, you got your Spanish's, you got your French's,

you got your Italian's. And I mean, all over the globe, it doesn't stop there. No, no, you can, you will never go to a country where it was at a song. You're not gonna trip them up, no, you can, you will never go to a country where Rosetta Stone. You're not going to trip them up. No, no, no, no, no, no, that's lifetime access to 25 language courses. Rosetta Stone offers for 50% off. Whoa, that's a steal. I'm going to say it.

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Yeah, I'm just gonna say it. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com slash superfly today. your 50% off at Rosetta stone.com slash super fly today. Oh, I just noticed today that Bernie Sanders announced that 82 that he's running for the United States Senate. Again, he's not, is he? Yeah. What is he right now? Anything?

He's a Senator. He's just running from always running from Vermont, but it shows you the difference. Cause when I do Biden, I go a little more softer. Yeah, Joe Biden, what's he ever doing? He's fading out. Well, when I do Bernie, I'm the billionaire and the millionaire, so take it all for money. So you can see how well he's aging that he still screams. I think he's learning to sound like you're not old.

So he leans into it and goes louder. Biden fades out. Biden kind of fades out as I said. I was thinking of Flight of Fancy because Obama and Clinton are running around doing things and just, just the idea of how do they talk about Biden amongst themselves when they're alone, you know? Yeah, Joe's, you mean, Joe's good. I mean, Joe's good, Joe's good.

Yeah, of course he's good. Why would you even bring that up? Joe, I'm just saying he's good, that's all. I'm just saying he's good. Well, of course he is. Everyone knows he's good, right? I mean, he is good, right? I just said he's good.

He's very, very good. I mean, it's not a problem, okay? All right, all right, whatever. We're in agreement, okay? He's good, very good. I mean, it's not a problem, okay? All right, all right, whatever. We're in agreement. Okay, he's good. And cut. No, nobody cracks though. They go, what I mean with the border?

Exactly. They jump in. One guy gives a little bit and the other goes, well, yeah, the border, we should talk about that. Well, I mean, sometimes, I mean, sometimes when, you know, he's maybe not the most articulate, you know, kind of, I mean, he's not when you know he's maybe not the most articulate you know kind of I mean you're not quite sure what he's saying sometimes so that's all right that's all I know I know he sits down and he just sits down he looks off and he itches his nose and I tell him

it's not a good look and he goes very slow sometimes I gotta yell at the TV uh-oh here comes Bernie. Don't proceed don't. I'm ready on day one to be president of the United States. That's a good Bernie. That's a lot of power. All right. Well, doesn't that make you tired? I'd be tired if I was Bernie. I'm never tired because the millionaires, you know the funny thing, this is now Frank had told me this, he would do the millionaires and the billionaires. We gotta tax him, and then his accountant told him because his book sold well, he's actually a millionaire.

So he dropped millionaires. It's the billionaires. It's like a witch hunt. They're the ones we gotta get. Yeah, it's also, we don't need any cops, and they all have security. It's like, well, if you have 24-hour security, sure, you don't need anything,

but normal people might need cops. They're all guarded by a small army. We should defund the police. Excuse me. Get that Uzi out of my face, but keep it nearby. Anyway. But don't defund security because I have a security team. Yes.

And so, you know, there's all that political stuff going on. We'd like to stir the pot a little bit. Yeah, we're fucking edgy. We are edgy stir the pot a little bit. Yeah, we're fucking edgy. We are edgy doing the stuff that, going places where other people don't. Our mayor in LA, you know, because there's crime here and everyone's running scared, but then she got robbed. They broke into her house and robbed. And so now she's like, fuck this noise.

And sometimes it takes that. I don't want anything bad to happen to anyone, but sometimes it's like, oh, it even happens. So then they get a wake up call and go, oh boy. Well, the mayor of San Francisco, I said, who knew that defund the police wouldn't work? So they're funding it again. Oh, they said that.

Yeah. I'm all for just peace in harmony and neighborhoods. I like, my goal for my government, you know, the United States government, is to protect me from foreign adversaries, protect the country, and then protect me in my neighborhood. Those are my one and two values. Yours is to dodge taxes, I think you said the other night.

Yeah. I said, why are you hassling Wesley Snipes? Because he didn't pay 7 million in taxes. That's a little bit of an accountant, right? Or someone. I know some people, I don't know if anyone can think they get away with it, but it's a tough one. You gotta, you can fudge and, you know,

do your best within the laws, but man, you do not want to get caught and go to jail for that. If you talk to a tax guy and you just go, well, is that a write-off? They go, could be. Well, is it or isn't it? Don't know. It depends. Why don't we just take it, see what they say? We'll find out when you get audited. It's like interpreting the Bible or something like, yeah, I think so. And then you get audited and they go, you're on your own. Yeah, they audit Bernie. You're liars and you're cheats. I pay more than my fair share. I'm Bernie Sanders.

That's him talking to his wife. Also, someone write in the comments on YouTube whether IRS agents can carry a gun. I heard that someone told me the other day and I said they cannot. Okay, Dana, I'm not gonna tell you the Golden Bachelor broke up with his wife after three months because I don't think you're ready for that news and you had such high hopes for them. I did. But when all the dust settles and all the cameras go down and every night isn't a helicopter date

and they have to go to Chili's and it's the grind, he's like, fuck I'm out. It was that fast, like, come on, dude. It's not all gonna be confetti in the air, but he's like, come on, dude, it's not all going to be confetti in the air, but he's like Vegas dealer tapping. Yeah. I'm just sad. That's my statement on that. I'm sad they were a cute couple and I'm sorry that they broke up because I think they could have started a family.

Yeah. And I hope he doesn't date again immediately because he apparently isn't ready. Okay, I didn't want to tell you this news. Everyone said, do not tell Dana. Everyone said it. Okay, this first little clip. Look at this. If Wayne and Garth conceived a child, it would be Skrillex who's a DJ. That's kind of funny. That's not bad. It's not a video, but it was like, Sha! Sha, it's frighteningly, it's okay. Wait a minute. It's frighteningly accurate. He does

look a lot like us, Wayne. Wayne! Sha does, Garth. Chill. I'm looking at the Garth while you talk. It's pretty funny. This is very strange. I feel funny like when I used to climb the rope in gym class. And it rubbed your wiener? Yeah. You never say what it does. Oh, you just get it, you leave it open. You just say that. Cha, right.

Yeah, he looks kind of like me, but he's better looking because I'm Garth and I'm humble. Wayne and Garth had a kid. What does that guy do? Is he a singer? He's a DJ, dude. Wake up. I'm an old guy. I don't know all the young people reference. A DJ? Like Casey Kasem?

A DJ? We all had a little record player. Did that make us a DJ? Look, I dropped a needle. Now give me a million dollars. Take me to Ibiza. I don't like it. Now give me a million dollars. Boop! Take me to Ibiza. I don't like it. Bluetooth. We had blue teeth. All right, go ahead.

Okay, no edits. All right, don't hit it yet. Wait, wait, wait. I don't know what this is about. Oh yeah, this is kind of funny. This is just, watch it play out. This is the mom giving the guy, be safe driving. We all do this. All right, play out. I'm sure it giving the guy, be safe driving, we all do this.

All right, play out. I'm sure it'll stop. Here we go. Love ya. Love ya, we'll talk more. All right, drive safe. Yep. Good job for idiots.

Parents are always worried if you ride because there's a lot of dumb drivers out there. And well, she definitely wasn't wrong. Yeah, look at. After she just told him. And here's the surprise ending. So sorry, oh my God. Oh my God, Jacob.

Fuck me. It's his mom. Oh, it's his mom? His mom hit him accidentally. I didn't even get out of the way. Oh, isn, that funny? Oh man, that happened too many times in my childhood to laugh at. Your mom would run you over?

Mom, no! My mom was too nervous to drive on the freeway. Oh, when you were a kid? Or call long distance. you just had anxiety. Why? Yeah, you know, people are people. They didn't have antidepressants. They said, here's a glass of water and do some pushup

and get out of my face, rough it. My dad used to say, I go, dad, I got a headache. I've been working for eight hours. I just want to lay down before dinner for a second. Rough day, Davey. You gonna make hours. I just want to lay down before dinner for a second. Rough day, Davey. You going to make it? Why don't you lay down?

Take a little powder. Yeah, you got tough, don't you? I go, yeah, I do. Asshole goes, hey. Oh yeah. I'm always thinking I was like a puss. I'm like, I am a puss, but- Well, it was a different time. Parents were laissez-faire you didn't

really see your parents much you didn't hang out with your parents you didn't have a phone to call your parents every second that's true I know he didn't give us his phone number I never knew that growing up like that was his scam he would we'd wait for incoming calls even though he lived a mile away we didn't know where it was ah that's we we need to do a whole superfly just on that, David. I'll start crying. Okay. The next dumb joke. Oh, this is funny. I thought you'd laugh at this. Oh, okay.

Arnold as a, I think it's a motorcycle. Here we go. This is the race. Go! Those are the different bikes. I like this. Someone's doing it. I see some of this stuff. When they go over the whoopty-dits. There's different ones doing it. Okay, there's two or three guys.

Fucking idiots. And they're like, I think we got it on that one. I think we got it. Now we have a viral video. Yeah. And they'll never know it's me. And the thing about hearing that and the people and I go over the thing and I go. I think the angle we did work go over the thing and I go.

I think the angle we did work that it's going to go worldwide. Worldwide, let me tell you something. I love, one thing I love about Arlie, he still always says, let me tell you something before he tells you something. Let me tell you something. You've got to do pushups if you want to get stronger. Let me tell you something. You've got to eat protein if You want to build the muscles.

Let me tell you something. Why do you say let me just say it? I like when you know. What about when you said, hey, Seinfeld, let me ask you a question. He goes, quit saying, can I ask you a question? I know. I know. I wanted to frame it. But I wasn't interrupting.

But don't I don't say you're going to ask me a question. Then he said he had a bit about it. He was working on a bit. One thing I have to say that really made me laugh, I don't know if he, that every review, which he got some good ones and any comedy gets people getting shitting on every comedy. Every review had just sort of pastry references.

This Pop-Tart could be a bit sweeter, but in the end, this cake doesn't get baked. I mean, every single review was referring to dessert treats from the 1960s. This cereal got soggy. This, these corn flakes need a little more milk and this unfrosted could have used more frosting. Hi, I'm Bill Fleek Flock for Time magazine. Tony the tiger got hit with a tranquilizer gun. I wish this tart was sweeter, but in the end of the day, it leaves you wanting to eat something else. Hi, I write for Newsweek.

I went to Harvard. Yeah, I went to Harvard and I'm reviewing this piece of shit. They go, hi. I asked Tony the tiger what he thought of this movie and he said, it's okay. It's spotty. It's choppy. Uh, it starts out of the gate. A lot of jokes. And you're like, Tony, the tiger's talking more than he used to. I know he used to just say, it's great. That was an old Hollywood minute joke. I said, I asked Tony the Tiger what he thought of this movie and he said,

it's good in times, but it's a teensy bit long. But I'd still go, I'd go again. It's good times. No, he's going, it's pretty good. It's good in time. It's so-so. No, I thought Don Frosted was good and I was glad that we did. It is, it's good at time. It's so-so. That's- No, I thought Don Frost was good,

and I was glad that we- It is, it's a really funny movie. If you haven't heard us with Seinfeld, we did a interview with him and it's over on- Fly on the Wall, check your local listings, you can find it. Really fun, but he said, which is very Jerry, and he'll say in the thing,

I can't wait to read bad reviews. It's very Jerry. Like he was looking forward to it, which is the best way to, because it's a silly comedy. You know, I mean, what are you going to say? Either like it or you don't. I mean, it's only they used to review Sandler movies like Adam Sandler tried to make apocalypse now, but he ended up with grownups. You know, what they think his goal was. Unfrosted is not, there's not one serious line in the movie.

Unfrosted is no Godfather, Associated Press. AP Wire. It's no aliens. Mine were like, if they had a good review, it'd be like, this movie really is a surprise. Like it wasn't even really that great a review. And then at the bottom it would say like Gern Blanston from the Daily Squeak Squad. You're like the penny saver. What is it? Anything we've heard of?

No, I want to do a short film. So some movie actors just being driven crazy by these reviews he's getting by this guy. So he meets him in a restaurant. He's just super angry at him. He sits down. He goes, yeah, I just don't like your reviews are mean, man. The guy goes, well, I don't know. I just like to ride them the way I ride them. So then the guy goes, that's okay. I'm going to leave now. And I understand. Yeah. That's probably kind of what it is. Alright, load him up. Hang on, don't play, don't do it yet. Let me see if I can set it up.

Let me switch, hang on. Okay, set this up because I have no idea what this is. I don't even know what this is. I sent him. Okay. Okay, let's just play it. An employee framed his boss, but how he did it should honestly terrify everyone. Dazon Darian was an athletic director at a Baltimore high school who wasn't getting

along with the principal and wanted to take him down. So he released some audio of the principal going on a racist rant. Here's just a small clip of that. Ungrateful black kids who can't test their way out of a paper bag. This audio was sent to media outlets and posted on social media and it spread like wildfire. The principal started getting doxxed, was receiving death threats, and was put on leave losing his job. The principal denied it all, but there's audio evidence, so it's pretty hard to deny, right?

Well it turns out this was all AI generated by the athletic director who just needed a few seconds of the principal's real voice to have artificial intelligence clone it and generate a fake racist rant. That's it. Wow. Oh man. The future AI. I'm going to go grab the real Dana because I feel bad about this. Hold on. I'll be right back. It's more like AI auto. Hey, what happened? Did we start? Biden. Is that Biden? Oh, hi,? Did we, did we start? By, did we start yet? Oh, hi Dan. Is that the real one?

No, I just got in. I had technical issues. What happened? We were just talking to someone that we thought we knew. There was a Dana guy. It's scary. I'm still doing it. There was a Dana.

Now, did you hear when I said more like AI auto? Do you know that I had a catchphrase on? So I tried to make a catchphrase the first season. It was like a gangster guy and it was like kind of a gangster guy. And it was like, well, I oughta pound you. Well, I oughta pound. That sounds familiar. Maybe you were saying it because I didn't.

I maybe did it twice. I did it on the Steve Gutenberg show and Lauren's like, Oh, you did it. And Lauren was into it. It was a sketch. Oh, I think it could be, could be a national catchphrase. Could be why I ought to pound you. I like you kind of come down. I ought to pound you.

I must have seen it some 1948 movies starring John Lovitz when he was a fetus. You know, it was funny is seeing Chloe, Feynman, oh hers hasn't aired yet. We just interviewed Chloe and she's on, flying the wall. From Saturday Night Live, Chloe Feynman. And then she said Dua Lipa was coming on and so we were talking about what the promos were gonna be.

She had to think of an impression. And then like the next day I saw her with Dua Lipa, they were doing the promo and she had to do an impression of it. Well, all you do is just say, if you can't do the impression, I've said this before, always say the name of the person you're doing. I'm Dua Lipa. I'm Dua Lipa. And then you're halfway there, but just say the name. Funny way. You'll be free. No, the AI thing, the future's arriving

and it's kind of scary. Although if they get the digital down, we can make a brand new Wayne's World 3 that looks exactly like Mike and I in our get-ups circa 1948. Turns out it looks like claymation. You're like, that's not good enough. AI. Looks like the California raisins. AI fucked us. Okay. Yeah. Fuck AI. I'm pissed at it.

That's my stance. Okay. This one is... I'm still hungry. She's Louise. We got a lot of... I don't even know what I'm showing. Is this funny? That's good. Can I send this? Oh, you can stop it. I think I was saying how bad music is. Well first of all, it was compelling. Second had a good beat. Was there something else going on there? It drew me in.

Another song that a girl made up that comes fire up is Fully Different. Actually, it drew me in. I don't even know what I was thinking when I said that one. I think I thought it was so stupid, but there's worse. And we all agree. There are worse dumb songs, but don't pull it out. It's too hard. We'll do it next week. So we'll pull up a dumber one. We're looking at way too much stuff. I know. Do you ever have your phone scold you? You were down last week. So we'll pull up a dumber one. We're looking at way too much stuff. I know.

Do you remember your phone scold you? You were down last week. You only spent seven hours a day on the phone looking at. When I see that I go shame on you. It says, Oh, you've been on the phone. 23 hours a day. I'm like, we got to pump them numbers up. Well, I've got an exercise ring. Well, you didn't do so good today, but there's always tomorrow. Just cause I don't have my phone in my pocket. I walked nine miles, bitch. People I say I put my phone down and then I ran for like two hours.

Yeah. I left my phone in the car and then I get scolded at night, right? As I'm trying to fall into magnificent REM slumber and I got some voice told me yeah. And then I get you still got a grill me. Yeah, and then I get you walking. And then I leave you voice text. Yeah, did you work out today? Oh yeah, what are these two beauties? I don't know if this is even anything, we'll cut it. Dana, David, hey, we are your biggest fans.

My name is James, it's my dad Troy. Oh, it's a question. Got a question for you, absolutely. Take it away. What is your favorite pickup line? What's your favorite line? We'd like to know. We need to know. Thank you. Love you guys. Danny, you haven't done these for a while. I'll steal Nicholas Cage.

Cause when I did the movie trapped in paradise with him and he saw an attractive young woman, they liked, he'd say, if I were to send you flowers, where would I send them? That's not bad. That was a pretty good one. My buddy in high school used to say, this face is leaving in five minutes, be on it. I would say, it's more than one line. Most comedians, if you can make a woman laugh,

you know, I think that's the key. So what would be your opening line? Well, I'm David Spade, I'm rich and famous and really, really smart. No, you say, hi, I'm Danny Carvey. No, you go like this. I'm sorry, are you in 31 movies and five TV shows? Oh wait, that's me, how are you, I'm Dana.

I would say the most attractive line you can say, which happened to me back in the day in the clubs. So I'm waiting to go on stage as packed 250 people. And then a young woman would come up and start talking to me. And I, I, my pickup line was I gotta go and I gotta go on stage, stand on a platform and pretend to be confident for an hour. No, that's a good trick. But seriously greatest pickup line. Well, first of all, what's a, what's a bad one?

No, here's a funny one that my friend said that he was standing with Kevin Nealon at this hotel checking in. Nealon's got some great lines. And he said, and these two girls walk by and Kevin goes, oh my God, we were just talking about you two. Isn't that funny?

Just two strangers. Kevin has so many dry one liners. I'd say it's like, do you find me attractive? No, that's me with my wife. What's yours? Oh no. Ask Heather what's her favorite line from a guy. Oh yeah Heather have you had a good one from a guy before you wrap this thing up? Most of my DMs just go hey. You gotta

give something else. Give a curve ball. Even if you throw like, you know, a, you know, a goddamn ferret, you could be, you could do anything. Put a meerkat. Maybe self-deprecating. Hey, I'm really bad at pickup lines. So what I'm saying right now is my pickup line that I'm not good at pickup lines. No, I think if it's a DM, if you literally put anything, they know you're hitting on them. So it's not like you need a whole soliloquy. So no one sidles up in a bar anymore? You are beautiful. Fire emoji, fire emoji.

Can I buy you a cocktail? How about a glass of Chardonnay? No, I know girls that say guys just do not know them, just go, you want to go to Paris this weekend. And then I'm like, oh, that's good. Well, you were actually gone last weekend. They're like, yeah, I went to Paris. I go, stranger. Yeah. I just don't want men to be judged by the size of their wallet. Oh yeah. What is that from? That's from, that was Martin Sheen to Charlie Sheen. Oh yeah. Wall Street. And the

Michael Douglas Wall Street. And he hit wallet so hard, I think we built a whole sketch on it. That's funny. People just hit him one word really. Yeah. Listen, I'm sorry, but I don't have any pick up lines. There you go.

That's pretty good, you did that pretty good. Don't proceed. Don't proceed. Okay, we learned a lot today. We learned about the roast, we learned about my golfing experience today. And we went over some stuff. I think we really hit a home run.

I feel like it's 10 out of 10. Yes, I traded from the sunglasses to the regular readers 13 times throughout the podcast. That was a record. And we appreciate everyone tuning in. We love you watching the YouTube and leaving comments and we read them. We hear ya and we feel ya. Come see me on the road, davidspade.com. Come into the city.

What's the next town? Give me a date. I think I'm coming to Las Vegas, the old Venetian with Nikki Glaser and then um, that's in, say it again? Oh yeah, Atlanta and Savannah and a couple others back east. So how many times can you go back to a city and play it? I keep going.

I keep going. Like is this your ninth Atlanta visit? North Carolina, I'm doing Asheville. I'm doing all these there. One in Kentucky, it's gonna be really like beep boop bop boop beep bop beep. One question, I want you to do this on your next gig out there,

just because it'll make you laugh, it'll make me laugh knowing you're gonna do it. You come out and you go, if it's Atlanta, what's up Atlanta? That's it. That's your first line. I do it anyway. You do it. Every city I say, what's up, Atlanta? That's it. That's your first line. I do it anyway. Every city I say, what's up, Atlanta.

But like that, proclaiming it, like, what's up, Atlanta? What's up, Atlanta? Then I go like this. All right, then are you ready to party? Are you ready to party? No, I talk about the eclipse for a half hour for some reason. But I had good shows this weekend,

it was a blast in Florida. So big theaters, theaters were real, I like when it's a really nice theater and they've got this buffoon in there and they did it for like some Tchaikovsky or something. Meanwhile, I'm like this. Do do do do do do. Well, sometimes the sound can be bad,

good or really good. If you get out there with a mic and it's the right balance between the monitors and you, and you know, you can do this and then hit a line like, what's up, and go back and you know that it's filling the theater perfectly. It really helps. I played at a casino last year and it just, I thought, well, but I went out and the sound was just fantastic. You know, so. I'm happy to get there and it's four card tables taped together and you're like, oh,

this is, this is going to be a rough one, but we do it. We love it. Yeah, we want some more of it. All right. Thanks guys. Thanks, Dana. Thanks. Thanks for joining me, David.

Hold on just a second. What is he doing? Hi, I'm Dana's digital copy. Oh, you're gonna say bye. I'm saying goodbye on behalf of Dana. Okay, bye bye Dana, bye bye. Bye bye. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly as executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Charlie Finan of Brillsta Entertainment, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman.