Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY #39 - Sickening Banana

Episode Date: October 25, 2024

Dana and David jump right in to discuss last week's SNL, a corroding banana, space ketchup, prison video games, and much more. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

David, you know about Airbnb, right? I've had relatives that are coming to stay and they're staying for a little while and the hotel is far away or it's not quite the right fit. And so they get an Airbnb and these things are just a great use of digital knowledge. Oh yeah, I think people are just all moving that way because just easy, you do it on your phone,

you check it out and you find if you want your own privacy or whatever. Yeah. Or if you want a pool, you find one with a pool, you know, or one that you can bring your dog. It's it's completely not one size fits all super adjustable. I've used one in particular a couple of times and it was just charming and nice and very easy to use. So it's a good alternative

if you need a place to stay. Right, because hotels are great. It just sometimes, sometimes hotels don't spend as much meticulously checking everything out. Airbnb, I think they always seem to have personal touches and my friends say it's great and they would never Yeah, and if you want to, if you want a kitchen, you know, at the hotels it doesn't have a kitchen. A full kitchen usually can get that and do all that. Perfect accommodation, traveling with friends or family or on your own. Listen, for your next adventure it might be something to try out at least, you know? You won't regret making the switch from traditional hotels.

And you might wind up liking it. Breaking news coming in from Bet365, where every nail biting overtime win, breakaway, pick six, three point shot, underdog win, buzzer beater, shoot out, walk off, and absolutely every play in between is amazing. From football to basketball and hockey to baseball, whatever the moment, it's never ordinary at Bet 365. Must be 19 or older, Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. And who's Whackin' Phoenix? Who the hell is he? Who's Whacken Phoenix? And this lady Goo Goo. Whacken Phoenix would have got a big laugh.

Yeah, what happened? What's this guy with Whacken Phoenix? No, I'm not joking around here. Sorry, that was a fun little Bideny thing. You know, after- That's his name, folks. That's his name. That's his name. First name Whacken, second name Phoenix.

Come on. I mean, seriously. We're already going. I think this is it. Well, this is, this is, we're just here to lighten the load, you know? Yeah. For people in these troubled times

and with all the contentiousness over the election and all that stuff. We're just trying to lighten the load a little bit. Through the election in the air is palpable. It's palpable. How do you spell that? You were a spelling champion. That's right. That's a tough one. Palpable.

David Spade for the win. My Vietnamese buddy, Shin was his name. He and I, when we were in fourth grade, we walked down to sixth grade for reading and math. I don't like to talk about it. But he was in the spelling bee too. We all got smoked. My word, if it's palpable, I'd be like, okay, Heather.

I'd like, here's my word, palpable. That's what you say, Danny, you have to say it first. You don't know about this. When you're in the bigs. Oh, I had my day in the school. Trust me. Okay, okay, ready? I woke up there in my OP shorts,

my OP shirt from Miller's Outpost. My budget for the year was $100. I know that my mom was, you have $100 to get your school clothes for the year. Could you do that, Kim K? So, huh? Palpable. P-A-P-L-P-L-E.

No, no, no, it's P-A-L. I knew that, just testing you. Okay, good, it's P-A-L-P-A-B-L-E, palpable. Probably pretty easy, right? I'm not sure it's correct, but here's the thing I wanna ask you. Yes. I'm doing what drove Jerry crazy.

I wanna ask you a question. I wanna ask you, can I ask you a question? Before I ask you the question. The big word when I was in fourth grade, if you could spell this, you were badass. And it was from a Mary Poppins movie. You're a little younger than me, but it was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

Expialidocious, yeah. Even though it's hard to say, what's the next line? The song? Yeah. I don't know. Got two YouTube shuts us down. You were singing Mary Poppins, our robots picked it up,

the lalalalalala, shut down, take away money. You've got a robot with Tourette's or some kind of speech impediment. I couldn't think what I was trying to say. Ardala, I can't. It picked up a song pattern algorithm, you are shut down until further notice.

If you try to monetize Dick Van Dyke, he's 102. We will come to your house and beat the hell out of you with our AI arms. A spoonful of sugar, don't finish that sentence. The worst cognac in the history of film. I mean, I love Dick Van Dyke, but it was, just a spoon full of sugar. Oh,oon, phone, let's go, when you go... Oh, my, oh, my, oh, ah!

He couldn't go to England. What part of Sussex are you from? He couldn't go to London, he'd be mobbed. Oh. And they're like, oh, is, they go, oh, my God, is that guy really American? Because I saw the movies. Yeah, look at it.

I can too, well, I won't do my British accents yet, but I would like to be British. If I could be any British, it wouldn't be concrete. Because someone who subtly talks like an intellectual. You know, the property owners always shut down on the non-property owners in the 17th century. Blow it out your ass, motherfucker. Look, I got a haircut.

I don't wanna over talk about it, but check this shit out. Jeez, I don't know. All we do is obsess about hair, people say on the comments, but I don't give a care. Also, they said, well, no, they say this thing. I don't read the comments. No, I do.

Boy, they don't like you, dude. Anyway, I'm- All I can say is I don't wanna know because I'm too self-critical and I would curl up into a ball if someone said kind of anything that wasn't perfect and I would start crying. So-

If they said your performance was a nine out of 10, you'd start crying. Yeah, I go, what do I gotta do? What went wrong? Yeah. What do I gotta do to get to 10? You know? Look.

Better thumbnails. I happened to get the best review of my life. You can look it up. And I just thought it was funny. It was in the New York Times. You've heard of them, haven't you? Metaphorical. That Commie rag. Yep.

So about my Biden. So that was, you kids can check it out online. It was the best. Usually I'm just annihilated, as most comedians are. Hack over, you know, mugging, pushing. Why'd they give you a break? I don't know. Because Biden, we were getting a lot of flack for

for the last year on a... They talked about the breakdown of the impression and it put me in the context of the nine other cast members, you know, because Jason Sudeikis was at the party and with his sweet little daughter, and so I leaned down, I'm dressed as Biden. I go, you can touch it, you can feel it. She's very adorable, kind of touch it.

And I go, your daddy used to use, good night. Jason, if you're listening, this is a G-rated story. You're dressed as Biden at the cast party, you crazy person. But the word daddy is intense. Because boys don't call their dads, I know our dads were a little extra, a little special, but boys don't call their dads daddy too much, do they? At five, six, seven?

I mean after. No, I think when they're little. I think girls mostly say daddy. So I said, your daddy used to play this character, President Joe Biden, he was vice president 10 years ago. But he played him as kind of a... She goes, huh? She goes, my daddy was in motion pictures?

Well, why do you have a southern accent? No, she goes, she goes, my daddy was in a soccer show. What have you done? And you go, okay, relax. I know, that was a big hit. Yeah, she was six years old and she said, you ever heard of a show called Ted Lashow? Yeah. Well, if you haven't, you get it?

Yeah. Are you starting to get it? Starting to get it. This is nothing like Jason Sudeikis' daughter. I just want to do an exclaimer. It's funny. But it was fun to see him. I ran into my buddy, Mikey Keaton,

who was on our podcast. Miguel Keaton, yes. Mickey Keaton, as we call him. Yeah, I ran into my buddy Alec Baldwin, who's been on this show twice, who was playing Brett Baer. And he is a funny character. He just leans into your dressing room,

out of the blue, and goes, you know who had the best hair in Hollywood? Long weight, Hugh O'Brien. And then he just walks away. This is Alec. This is Alec. Alec is a is Alec. Alec is a movie for that.

He was funny on the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He gets going with Bill Hader apparently and they get down into some Scorsese film and some guy with brown shoes in the corner of the frame. And I'm telling you that overhead shot was magnificent. I'm doing Alec Baldwin, communist. Cremated.

As a British Lord, but he's a great guy, a conversationalist, he can just go. I'm going to interject your SNL party story because I want to hear more about SNL, especially at the top of the show. That I was at, this just hit me. That's a good tease. That's a good tease.

I was out, Heather could chime in. There's a guy waiting for the host to set a restaurant. He's with wife, two kids. The son, I remember he had glasses on, son had glasses. He's behind the son, they're waiting for the host just to give him some more information. So they're just bored. He's behind the son.

The son is five-seven, so he could be 13. If he's my size, he's probably 13. So he's got both arms around him like this, and he's kissing his cheek like this. And I'm like this. So his dad is facing forward. The five-foot-seven kicks behind him. He's in front of the dad. No, in front of the dad. And so the dad is grabbing the, the five foot seven kicks behind him, wrapping his arms around him.

Is in front of the dad, no, in front of the dad. And so the dad is grabbing the kid and kissing him. Like it's a date, I'm like, oh, that's not his wife. And I thought, is it peculiar? Is it palpable? Is it any of these words? It's 2024, my friend. Yep, welcome, that's it, I just explained it.

We, our dads never gave us a hug, and so we're gonna make up. So I'm gonna hug every kid I see. If I'm a daddy, I'm gonna make up for all that pain. And then the pendulum, you've heard of those, if you can spell it, I'll give you a dollar. P-E, go ahead. Swings back, and it's very,

maybe it's more Italian and really being that kind of- It's over-dadding because I said- New word. I felt it was my duty to walk up and interrupt this and just put like this between the- And then you're like- And then you're like-

And then you're like- And then you're like- And then you're like- And then you're like- And then you're like- And then you're like- And then you're like- And then you're like-

And then you're like- And then you're like- Metrolinx and Crosslinx are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Crosstown LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert as trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. This winter, take a trip to Tampa on Porter Airlines.

Enjoy the warm Tampa Bay temperatures and warm Porter hospitality on your way there. All Porter Fairs include beer, wine, and snacks, and free fast streaming Wi-Fi on planes with no middle seats. And your Tampa Bay vacation includes good times, relaxation and great Gulf Coast weather. Visit flyporter.com and actually enjoy economy. Well, well, well, Dana. Well, you're back. I like that the audience stuck with us through that roller coaster of emotions.

It's nice that they do through the technical thing, someone reaches, if two people are driving, let's go to smart list. Another person grabs their arm and says, wait a minute, give them a chance. Yeah. And that was Will Arnett, is the guy in the car. Oh, he wanted to hear us?

Thanks, Will. No, we have technical difficulties, but you know what, stars, they're just like us. Are we stars? In that scenario. He's giving me a little closeup for you, audio only listeners, but I have cards one. And that's an audio. He's giving me a little closeup for you, audio only listeners. But I have cards made based on that.

It's just that, excuse me, you're over daddying. And so when I see over daddy, I just hand the guy the card. Excuse me, you're over daddying. The guy that was leaning on a kid and like, Frenching him basically? I have a restaurant bathroom story that's kind of interesting.

You know when you're driving on the five? Please. Ooh. I'm gonna address this. You go to a bathroom and it's only one bathroom. You're like, okay, hopefully this is just a 30 seconder. It's 20 minutes with multiple, multiple flushes. And you're thinking what kind of creature

is gonna walk out of this place? I'm talking flush. Oh, you mean when you are going to the... You're waiting at a gas station for the bathroom, and it's multiple flush again, again. The sink runs back to flushing. What kind of human being or creature is going to emerge because I have no options?

You know, when people go in there, like when you're in the airplane and you hear a flush, that's the sign. Like when I flush, which might be one of the three loudest noises in America. Yeah. Yeah, the flush. It's so loud, I go... Well, you just feel you could lose a hand.

Yeah, you don't want to go... I think in Joders, too go, it's jarring. Well, you just, you feel you could lose a hand. Yeah, you don't wanna go, I think in Jodr, two of my nuts got sucked down. I don't wanna give the whole movie away, but I think that happened. But it's so loud. And then I go, I have X amount of time to get out of here because everyone's like waiting, like, okay, what are you doing now?

I'm like, now I'm just like, now it's the weird time where you did Flush, what are you doing now? I'm like, now I'm just like, now it's the weird time where you did flush, what are you doing? Get out. Well, you're kind of- Another flush is scary. Are you then pivoting to the mirror going, do I really look this fucking bad? You're putting water on your face. You're trying to act like you're sobered up

and you freshen up and then you come out like, what's up gang? How's it going? Yeah, I come out and I go like, I always go like this. That's an old Farley bit you walk in, I go like this. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

Oh good, air-plunge stick. Did your hair. Well, I do a full shaving cream shave in there when I go in there. Jesus. And I come out with half of it on me, like some Cool Hand Luke movie or something. How could you look at yourself in that gross mirror for that long?

No, I... Everything I do compared to other people is fast. I walk fast, I use the bathroom fast, everything is expedient and fast. You're a lollygagger, I heard. No, no, no. When I go in there, if I take too long... I usually in there stretching. I just too long, I usually in there stretching. I just stretch out, I go, I look at my phone.

Sometimes I don't even pee, I just wanna get up, you know? And if you stand there by the door, they go, not by the door. Someone told me that once, step away from the door. I go, you don't even work here. No, there's someone coming out of that door. You think I'm the guy that's gonna take us all down. He was like this, sir, sir. I love it when they put the beverage cart across the way

so the pilot can use the restroom and they have like a 40 pound flight attendant or like just this woman on it and is making this little cross arm thing. Like it's a Bernstein Bears mom, like don't even try it. They're like, don't. Oh. Yeah, because sometimes the pilots take too long

and they're taking a deuce and then the people get a little sleepy on the cart and then they make a vodka tonic. And then the pilot comes out. I'm like, dude, did you fall asleep? Are you okay? Sorry, you reminded me of the previous week's episode where John Lovitz was hanging out

during the practice show. He's right next to the camera with making little fists to me, like, go, go, go! And he gave me a line that I just tried for the crew, which is Biden saying, come on, I just dropped a deuce. This was during the... It didn't play too well, so, god, I thought it was funny. Anyway, deucey deuce funny. Anyway, do you see?

Do you see? They take out all the funny ones. You know why they don't like it? Cause it's funny. Yeah. Okay, so finish us now, let's hear more. I realize, well, one is they have a pre-taped thing across town.

They have a giant, you've got 8H studio, over on 66th street is like a 10 floor pre-taped thing across town. They have a giant, you've got 8H Studio, over on 66th Street is like a 10-floor pre-taped for all the different video films they're doing. Please don't destroy guys. Your mouth. Everything. So I go over, they go, will you come over as Biden and be in this thing?

Then I find out everybody's in it and it's a TikTok thing. And I'm just bouncing around as Biden. Now, that morning, I didn't think I'd be going in, so I did the stairs at my hotel. 420 stairs, all out. You heard me. Because I like to feel that. And then, so they put me on this vibrating platform,

and I didn't have to act. My legs were shaking. Oh, your legs get shaky. As Biden, I'm dressed as Biden, so I'm shaking. I saw that. I like that they just have a note on the refrigerator in the break room going, Biden is tech avail for all sketches.

You just throw him in there. Dan just walks around and I go, can you be in ours? He just go, yep. What do you want me to do? Well, I kind of want to do a show where he dies. I stay in the get up and then he just appears in the background in sketches

or just walks across at the very end, like where's Waldo? That Biden is somewhere in every other sketch, but maybe that's the end. He's in the sketch for the first half and then someone says, hey, you're not in this sketch. Everyone's waiting for you to talk because you're in it for some reason.

And then you go, oh, you just get up and walk out. But I might do this on the live show, is sneak up behind Colin Jost and Michael Che. Like literally on like a combat mission. And then just come up into the frame, look at him like that, and then just kind of go back down. And they don't even know it. They get a big laugh, they don't know it.

And then I crawl back out. And then you go, hey, Chevy. And then you just go back down. Who's the guy, is that Biden? Yeah. then you go, Hey Chevy. That was, you just go back down. Who's the guy? Was that, is that Biden? Yeah. Hey, hey, come on guys. Hey Chevy.

Hey Eddie Murphy. Then you leave. Okay. I got you. It's Chevy chasing Eddie Murphy. No better. Give him applause. Give him applause.

So, so that Billy Eilish is, uh, amazing. I just want to live in her vibe. That first song she did is just so whispery, and so her becoming a huge fan. Was it in, like, mirrors or something? There was some set I saw. Yeah, they were looking at, they're floating this guy, her and Phineas, looking down a mirror.

And they just get into these mellow grooves and her singing is so intimate and it's catchy, it's cool. So I'm a fan, what can I say? I mean, she's been around a long time and when she turns 19, I think that she's going to. When you come out hot and heavy in the world at 14 or 13, it seems like she's been here forever. She's 22. But I think's 22. That's like Bieber.

He's 26 right now. You're like, he's been in this business 200 years. I know. I got on SNL at 51, ladies and gentlemen. 51. Yeah. So here's an example of things you... So I do the little Biden piece

as part of the Bret Baer interrogating Maya, Kamala. And he's kind of confused. He starts talking about the Joker movie, but they don't know it. And so, so I thought of later I went, who's the lady? Gah, gah, gah, you know, whatever. I did that.

And I thought later I should have said, and who's Whackin' Phoenix? Who the hell is he? Who's Whackin' Phoenix and who's Lady Goo Goo? Whacken Phoenix would have got a big laugh. Yeah, what happened? What's this guy with Whacken Phoenix? No, I'm not joking around here.

So anyway, that was a fun little Bideny thing. That's his name, folks, that's his name. That's his name, first name Whacken, second name Phoenix. Come on, I'm being serious here. You could have put corn pop in there. I could have popped. No, his name is Popcorn. No, corn pop is popcorn.

Yeah, I reversed it. He's really popcorn. He goes, you could have put popcorn in there and still would have ate it. You didn't need to pay that much money. My current catchphrases are, guess what? And by the way, the fact of the matter is, let me be real here.

I'm being serious, not kidding around. This isn't rocket science, folks, get real. That's it. That's a good run. I wanna put a run in like that. I really do. That's all you need. Just come in, they ask a question, you say that, and that's your answer. Yes, but a lot of Biden is like when he stops talking

and he goes, I'm being serious. It needs a beat before the audience knows that he's stopped. Yeah, he has something to say, never says it, and then he just stares. He stops with big eyes. So Billy Eilish was amazing. Michael Keaton was always... You know, Michael Keaton has a lot of just personal energy.

He's like, after the dress show, he's like, I don't know, I don't do this this often. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing out there, you know? And I said, nobody does. This is really hard. So, all you gotta do is say, what the fuck, and have fun. And then he nails it on air. It's sterical, so. There. And then he nails it on air. It's sterical. So, there you go, he's a pro.

What was his monologue? Oh, it was The Beetlejuice? Beetlejuice, which, Mikey Day's favorite film is Beetlejuice. He's been obsessed with doing Beetlejuice on the show. Never had a chance. So that was his idea of the monologue. And it was a dream come true, because I guess he was like eight or something when Beetlejuice came out and he got possessed by it. And now you know the rest of the story.

I'm Paul Harvey. That goes back to the 60s. Well, he's like waiting his whole life then you hear Waltz is in Michael Keaton, right into 8H. You get your Beetlejuice bits. I know. Yeah, if someone Waltz is in.

Does he not wanna do Beetlejuice or does he say, uh, does some, you know, some host, as we know, when they come in, they go, I don't want to do anything about this, about this, and you're like, oh, well. No, I think that he kind of, uh... I mean, when you do a movie, it doesn't happen to me, but you do, I guess, the 80s,

and then you go all the way to 2024, and it's a big hit movie, you know? Hundreds of millions worldwide. You just gotta feel good about that. And he didn't, he hasn't lost his step. He was Beetlejuice. It wasn't like, here comes old guy Beetlejuice. He's just like on fire.

And Alec Baldwin, funny story from him. You know, well, I walked in the studio and saw three of his little boys that were so cute. You know, I don't know, four, six and eight. Hey, daddy, dad was adorable. And then he said that he he showed them Beetlejuice and he showed him it was a picture he showed him because Alec Baldwin was in Beetlejuice in the 80s and goes, Oh, that's right. And he says, that's daddy. And he says, that's daddy. And they said, that's not daddy.

Because he was so much... He looks the exact same pretty much. Well, he's got, the hair is crazy. Yeah, he looks the same. But you know how little kids are, that's not daddy. Then they put it to Beetlejuice and said, that's daddy. I don't know, maybe they're kidding with him. Funny, funny. Funny stuff. Funny shit.

Yeah, I forgot how Alec was in Beetlejuice. Was he in the second one? Um, I don't think so. He was in it as sort of the straight man. Well, that's not why he came to the show, was it? He was doing Bret Baer, but was it... No, it was right after, what I first saw him, I think it was after one of those submarine movies

or something. Oh, yeah, when he came to SNL to host the first time, that was my third show or second show. And he goes, I go, what do you want to do with your life? And he goes, I want to do this. I want to do Broadway. I want to do comedy. You think I'm going to be stuck on a submarine 14 hours a day going, aye, aye, sir?

He said that. So it was a hit, huge hit movie. Also he dropped out of it to do Broadway. Streetcar Named Desire. That's it. And wanted to be a New York and loved SNL and is a great sketch player. I mean, he nailed it as Brett Baer.

You know, I take my pills on air, I don't care. Okay, I'll take a vitamin C. Both who? Oh, Gina Davis. Yeah, they played a couple in Beetlejuice. They both are not the second one, Dana. Just, you know, well, you should I tell, I'll tell you quickly about the banana. I was on the road, but if we can get it, we've never told. I love a banana story. So on the road, because I always have to eat. Because I get like dizzy. So I'm like, anyway, what can

you really carry on the road? protein bars, isn't it? So sometimes out of the hotel, I bring a banana because I'm like, that's the quickest thing if you're in a pinch, carry it, whatever like football, good potassium fiber, go ahead. Right. because I'm like, that's the quickest thing if you're in a pinch. Carry it, whatever, like a football. Good potassium fiber, go ahead. Right, so I threw, I have an old SNL bag. My bag says Siren Live 25 on it. So that was a merch gift from the last reunion we did.

2000. Did you know that? I was wondering where you got that from. You didn't know where I got that? Yeah, so it's all faded, so it doesn't look like I'm trying to ask me about SNL. No one knows I was ever on SNL anyway. So I got that, but it's a cool leather bag. Looks like a doctor bag. So anyway, some, I carry of course, way too much when I'm on the road,

but I throw bananas in there for the road. Anyway, so I finished the road and I picked up my SNL bag. It's leather. Two weeks. It was two weeks ago. Yeah, when I'm done on the road. So it's obviously I'm, oh, it burned a hole through.

Right. Something burned a hole through my, and I picked it up, it was sticking to the table. So I'm looking at the wood going, what did I spill here? We find out it's the banana. There was a banana in there and it'd been there for at least two weeks. And they get black and then other things happen.

Well, wait a minute. I mean, how do they get corrosive? I mean, what is the bio-corrosive? I don't know. It ate through the bottom of my SNL bag. That ain't no banana. Just play that video, right? Should we play that video?

Let's just see what it is. There's Heather. No, it's fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy. What is this? What is that? What is that? What is that? Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh, there it is. Oh, that's the banana.

Whoa, okay. So it, that's... Oh, that's the banana. Whoa. Okay. So it, that's. Are you fucking kidding me? I need a raise. I need a raise. I need a raise. That's green and white.

All right. Too much house in that. Okay. There you go. See, there's the photo. So that is a banana and it's going like thing. All right, too much house in that. Okay, there you go. See, there's the photo. Oh, man. So that is a banana and it's going like this. Hey! So it corroded itself,

but did it actually get through the leather bag? Did it go through the leather or just became, or corroded and then? It corroded so it stuck to the wood. And then I couldn't, and I go, so I look at the wood, then I look at the back, I go, oh my God, it's from the back. What got on the bottom?

Nope, somehow through. Sickening. I was famous for throwing banana peels over my shoulder when I would drive my Vilt Swingin' Bug. And people would laugh, I just do it. I would throw everything over my shoulder. You could find anything back. Into the back? Into the back seat. I would throw everything over my shoulder. You could find anything back. Into the back?

Into the back seat. I'd throw clothes, coins, extra cash, bananas, fruit, shoes, everything. So when anyone was in my car and needed something, I'd go, it's probably back there. Yeah. When the banana feels with rot. That's when people come in the car and say,

why do you have so much shit in your car? That's what people do to me. And I go, you don't need to worry about what's in my car. I didn't know I was having company. And if anyone comes to get a ride, forget it. Because my passenger seat is my garage basically. So I'm like. I know, you've given me a ride and it takes about

five minutes to clear the front seat. I go, geez bro, I'm just, I'm not that far away but it's like all this stuff's on there, transistor radios. I give you a ride home from Koi, I'm like, it's here, why do you have a machete? Don't worry about it, this goes here. Why is there blood?

I had a hitchhiker, don't worry about it. I pick it up, flak jack, really? Cracker jacks also? Mm-hmm, cracker jacks and a flak jack. Yeah, come on. By the way, so let's show some stories. Let's show some stories, what's going on in the world.

So people can be entertained. So people can be entertained. Number one. Number one. Astronaut shows how to eat ketchup at zero gravity. Okay. Let's do it. It's like Brendan Vey. This is sort of, this is how to eat ketchup at zero gravity. Okay. Let's do it. It's like Brendan Vey. This is sort of...

This is how you eat ketchup. You're shaking a bottle of ketchup. We're going to eat ketchup at zero G. Okay. This is risky. Yeah. You got to squirt it out. Oh my God, it works.

Look at how sick it is. Gross. What are you doing? It might be sicker that he eats ketchup. I don't care where you are. No, no, just self cancel space station trip. Thank you. Yeah. Hey, the first thing we do when we get into space, by the way, that doesn't remind me

they should do a porn in space. It doesn't remind me for no reason. There's no nothing that would remind me of that. No, that wouldn't mean anything. But isn't Tom Cruise gonna do a movie in the space station and it's gonna be a hard R? I mean, a hard R? No, I don't know.

Dana? But he is gonna do one in the space station. Would you go do Busboys in the space station? If that, if Busboys sequel is in the space station and the trailer was just me squirting Theo with ketchup like that, that's the only trailer. You know anything else, I'd go. Busboys in space and just that in slow motion and then just...

You thought they didn't know what they were doing on Earth. That's not bad. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Dude, I got some Boss Boy updates for your next show. Okay, I wanna hear it. It's real hush-hush. Everything's really...

Everything's really... That's always a good sign. You know what the good sign is, is when your agent, manager, publicist all call you together. You're like, they go, we have Jimmy, Stevie, little Bob, and Gervit's on the phone for you. And you're like, okay, Gervit's like,

let me set the table. Let me set the table. Spade, I don't know if you'll say yes to this because I know you don't like money. Dana likes money. Not like you like money. I'm the worst, I'm the worst client ever. I mean, they used to call Kevin Kline, Kevin D. Kline. That's funny.

Kevin D. Kline, no, no, no. Yeah. So yeah, I have, I tend to want to stay at home and watch movies and... Dana, you want to do a stay at home and watch movies. Danny, you want to do a casino gig on a Wednesday in Sheboygan? It's three flights and a two hour time difference. It's not that far from the Arctic Circle. You could see a polar bear.

Run up there. You don't like fun or money. Okay. I'm sure I can find some client likes it. Somebody likes money on my roster. Let me get Faith. Faith's circling the airport right now, ready to go. Yeah. I know.

Well, we would be like around the world, like a flight that never, you know, we refuel in space. Yeah, if you didn't turn it down, the shit they go, every time you turn around, how about this? I'm like, ah, I don't know. Why don't I just pitch a tent near the airport or something so I can just be ready to get airborne? Did you get into this?

Because when I was watching comedians on TV in the 1960s, I didn't think, well, I'd like to do this. I'll probably be flying, I'll be airborne for most of my life. And then playing corporate parties to a board ballroom that's drunk and tired as the CEO gets me in a headlock and go, what's up, church lady? Arrgh!

Yeah, no shit. I thought I'd be in a street. Hey, one of our VPs is gonna come up and kick you in the nuts. Is that cool? Or should we call your agent? I don't know. you can do it. Disclaimer, usually they're very nice. With what we're paying you, come on. Come on.

Yeah. Yeah, you could live, you could live. We're lucky enough, first world problem, to live on the road. If you take all the casinos in North America, comedy clubs, small theaters, big theaters, whatever, we could live in the sky, plop it down, do our shtick and get back in the sky.

Yeah, we have never ending jet lag. We don't know where we are. I'm born in Michigan, so I'm still feeling that two hour time difference. It's never gone away. So now when I fly, that's all. Okay, that's a good joke. I process that.

It's not bad. Never quite got adjusted. Yeah, it's just a thing. It's a biological thing. I also have a heart murmur. Dana, it's 2 p.m. for me right now. It's 2 p.m. for me. Yes.

Oh, I don't know. I'm in New York half the time. I don't know what time it is. Oh yeah. By the way, you're living in New York. It's crazy. I am. All right, next story. We don't wanna get into Dana. Get him into living in New York, it's crazy. I am.

All right, next story. We don't wanna get into Dan and get him into a spin. Into a spin. Okay, this is, I thought this was interesting. Read a byline. I'll read out loud for the people at home. There's no one at home. A little listening, driving.

A photo of cellmates, there's two guys in jail, playing NBA 2K on a flat screen. It's like a 70 inch flat screen, which is four inches from their face. It's going viral. And wearing brand new Convert or Nikes or something. What is that? Don't ask Shoe. Maybe that's a prison shoe.

But isn't there a swoosh above it? Yeah. The Nike swoosh. Nike socks. Oh, maybe that's socks. Okay, well, what this says is that this particular group of gentlemen that are in a prison or a jail of some kind are having a very good time in jail. Right, I remember when I was younger, jail was no fun.

That's what I was told. I don't know for sure, but they're like, you shouldn't go to jail, it's no fun. But you get three hots and a cot. Remember that term? Three hot meals and a cot. And now you get three hots, a cot, and an 80 inch flat screen where you can play

NBA video games. Maybe they're just in there, maybe it's one of those smash and grab things where they're just in there for like 45 minutes till they get a range. But who's getting a TV? Who gets a TV that big in your cell? I mean, I guess it's, I didn't picture a cell with TVs, but I figured like in the yard or they have like

a cafeteria with a TV, then they all fight over the channel. But that's how it is in movies. But this isn't great. They're too tall. I would have no problem sitting on that bottom bunk, sitting up straight and watching Dr. Zell or whatever. Oh, you could stand on that bottom bunk. Dana, Dana, no. I could too. We're in the same, we're in the same tribe. But anyway, okay, next one. But that was interesting that I'm trying.

But anyway, okay, next one. But that was interesting that jails come a long way. Okay, what's up? Next one. This is when you don't wanna get a get out of jail card. There you go. There you go. There's the mic drop. Okay, this is, okay, don't play yet.

Don't play, don't, blah, blah, blah. Okay, this is a prank show, which I fucking hate. By the way, if anyone I see a prank on Instagram and they don't like it, I block them. Sorry. That's how tough I am. I'm fucking tough. I run a tight Instagram.

No, no, I'm here to have fun. I don't wanna see you. Yeah, exactly. You be mean to me, gone. That's not why I'm here. I'm not here to lie. No, I don't like practical jokes. I don't wanna see you, yeah, exactly. You be mean to me, gone. It's not why I'm here, I'm not here to lie. No, I don't like practical jokes. I don't like surprise. Practical jokes, when they look good,

like they're in a bush and they scare people and people wipe out into a pole and hit their head and you're like, ah, he's dressed like a bush. I go, all it does is help the practical joker and get him views and he's totally relaxed, having fun. The other person looks like a fucking asshole and it ruins their day. And the end of the day,

it's about humiliating or frightening people. It's a terrific thing. But this one's funny. This one's hysterical. Can you start it over or no? Let's get ready to rumble. It's a Japanese one I like. Laugh it up.

Okay, so volume, let's go, let's see. Perhaps have to be among the most popular. So she says, Oh, a little loud, let's see. Perhaps have to be among the most popular. So she sits, Oh, a little loud, maybe a little less loud. So she falls, a little less loud. And then when the poor victim is given some water to recover.

She falls again. It's loud. Whoa, and so they dug up, it's a trap. It's a pit covered by a fake turf. You're for sure getting hurt. The victim finally gets to go home. One final trap awaits them. Well, everyone loves it so much. They're like, wah!

The big, yeah! I mean, the sound of it and everything. It's violent. It's violent. Dude, you get hurt. You're falling backwards. You're hitting your head on the... Who knows if that's perfectly breakaway, you know?

I've hit people with boards in like movies and stuff, and they score it till it breaks, but you're still like, sometimes it doesn't break. It's something about that culture. Like would we, you and I go in, we pitch it, and we make an Americanized version called Tridor. Yeah. It's so funny, but God dang, everyone would sue because America, everyone sues over anything.

But also it would be, you could hurt your neck. You're falling backwards through the floor three times. I know. Unbeknownst to her, she thinks she's free and good, and then bada-bing, bada-boom. Very clever. They put it in a van, and they put it in... And then one more there, and one more there. One more. We should do a show called America's Got Lawyers,

where it's just about the pranks and the... It's so true. You'd like to meet my attorney? That's good, America's Got Lawyers, I like that. All right, show something else. Well, I'm preening. Young woman details how much she spends for one night out at Miami.

Out at Miami at Live, this is a nightclub. So she's just reading her bill, I thought this is interesting. Hmm We got a bill reader here I spent a one night out in Miami at live so starting off strong I've got four bottles of aces page rosé for eleven thousand she's in a Rolls Royce I think and then we got one big ass bottle of ace like a huge bottle like that bitch came out on a boat Like that was 13. Yeah that bitch came out on a boat. That was $13,000. Yeah, that bitch came out on a boat. Three bottles of Dom for $3,600.

Two bottles of Clauze Azul Repo for $3,600 as well. Two bottles of Syroc for $1,100. One bottle of McKellen Rare, I don't know what that is. $1,450. We got five packs of water for $257.45 we got three packs of Red Bull for $144. Tax was $3,645.56. We tipped $8,244.35.

And I bought our total to $46,241.36 for one night out in Miami. How much is she drinking? She weighs 88 pounds. I'm kind of processing what I'm seeing. So, how many, I love when Dana sees this. How many people go to this place and were they surprised when the bill came to $360,000?

Or was it like, whoa, or like, you know, not bad and how... I think people puff up when they're really rich. I've seen it in clubs where, God, it's been a while, but they bring out like sparklers and it shows, cause there's rich and there's famous and there's, you definitely want people to know you're rich if you're in there. These guys that are so rich, but no one knows who they are.

So they get a booth, obviously that costs a lot. Then they get the sparklers and all the pretty girls come over and they give them a big bottle of Dom or Ace of Spades, huge. They have like abnormally big ones. And then it's a big show and everyone sees the guy and he goes like, come on, not this again. And then the fanfare goes down, so he orders another.

They'll order a case of Dom. I don't even know if they drink it or if they just resell it or what, but and then girls come over and sit, chug, bail, chug, bail, sit, sit, chug, bail in that order, mix it up. And then, I don't know, it's just the way it is. So these nightclubs, there's a handful that have it made

where they're just raking it in. And then they go, here's the bill, here's the tip, if you want an extra tip, and then if you're super cool ball, here's the third tip you can tip me, and then you can also just hand me some cash. Well, by the way, 8,000 on what was it? 360,000 is a low ball tip.

At least 10% would have been 36,000. Number one, it didn't really tip. No, I don't know. I thought it was gonna be about, I think it was less than that. I think it was less than that. I think it was under 100. Do you remember? Oh. Well, it's fake alcohol, but it's for virtual signaling.

If I may pivot to fake art. You know, I once saw, I was in a museum. There was just a giant white, it was 50 feet across, just blank canvas and one red dot in the middle. That was it. Six million dollars. Two red dots, 12 million dollars. Oh, I don't know about that.

Don't even go to three red dots. I could never go to three. It happens to us in corporate dates. If you name your price a certain price, let's just blow it out. It's not not us, but well, that guy, that guy's a million dollar comedian. You want that guy, that guy's a million dollar comedian. You want that guy, you gotta have a million dollars.

Oh, just because it sounds like a huge amount. Well, then you're a million dollar comedian. That painting's a million dollar painting, then you're a million dollar artist. And also people that want to be able to hire people that are rich or buy something like a painting or go to that nightclub, get to say, dude, we blew 300 grand.

Or I was with this guy, he spent 300 grand. And the guy's like, it's literally pennies. It's literally nothing. It's nothing to me, man. It's gum on my shoe. Well, by the way, you got gum on your shoe. So it's virtual signaling, letting people know you're wealthy.

You kind of wish, like if I gave you 365,000 and you had Saturday, you had to spend it on a Saturday in say, Southern California, what would you buy? You have 10 seconds. It turns into Brewster's Millions. Remember that movie? All right, we can make it three and a half million and you have one day to spend it.

You have five seconds, go. I'd buy half a house in Newport. Half a house? And then, it's too expensive. All right, you'd buy a town home. I'd probably get a cool car. I like cars, but I don't know which one I'd get. And what can you get for three and a half million?

Oh, three and a half million, I think is the- Yeah, I just upped it. You have three seconds. Huh? How much is the Tesla bus? The Tesla bus? Was that a new one? Yeah, they've got a- Oh, there's Tesla bus. You just stopped it. You have three seconds. Huh? The Tesla bus? Was that a new one? Yeah, they've got a Tesla bus. I think they'll be sort of sequestered

to like airport runs, to the sea lot. Have you heard that they came out with this new perfume, the same kind of thing with perfumes? Oh, that's a, and it's a million dollar perfume. You know what the name of it is? Elon Musk. Don't ever go like that. Elon Musk.

I'm pointing a lot now. You have three seconds, my giant hands. My giant hands say you got three seconds. I can't. No, there was a movie called Brewster's Millions. Was it Richard Pryor? Yes, it was Dick Pryor. He's a friend of mine.

He has 30 days to spend 30 million, or he doesn't get any of his inheritance. And he can't, everything buys something. He buys a shitty team, but then it's worth more. And then he does this and everything. He can't spend his money fast enough. How about you do a remake? Spades millions.

You have 10 seconds to answer. I'm more like Carvey's. Apparently you don't like money. All right. Apparently. Go ahead. Now. We have to do Senator John Kennedy at some point.

Now. Hang on. Okay, oh, this is a girl. Okay, you're not gonna like this. I like the comment, is this rock bottom friend? This is an influencer, Dana. And the tough life of an influencer is you just need to get...

seen and get clicks. What is she gonna do? She's gonna pet some cows, she's gonna feed them. Let's see. Puts glasses on. Okay. That's the whole thing. That's all she needed.

38,000 likes. She squeezed the cow's teat, D-E-A-T, and pointed it at her face, but she had like goggles or glasses on. So she got splattered in the face. Very pornographic. With mother's milk, baby, intended for a baby cow, not a woman with blonde hair and a jumpsuit.

I should answer and put Sandler on this FaceTime. I'm not gonna do that. I can't do that to that guy. All right. Tha-ba-thoo. Why is he FaceTiming? Wait, is he off? Is Dana gone? I can't see Dana anymore. You can't see me?

Come over here. Now we'll keep going. I can see you. I didn't see Dane anymore. You can't see me, Greg? Yeah, come over here. No, we'll keep going. I can see you. I didn't click anything. I know, but I just got a FaceTime and I hung up on it, but it... Oh.

Hell, here we are, we're back. Okay. God, we have a real roller coaster of things happening today. This, you can't predict this show. A lot going on. Okay, what is this? Let me see, okay, this is, let's just play this. I don't even know what it is.

Random Instagrams. A car, guy's out, night time, on the street, pick up truck, walking toward the door. Oh, this is one of those, guy stole a whole cigarette thing at 7-eleven. This is when they go in LA is like a fun thing for a bunch of kids. I think we got into the 7-eleven and grab the whole trip. I get a few packs of cigarettes.

They take over 7-eleven and rob everything. And look at all the ran. Now, they're ransacking 7-Eleven and rob everything in it. Look at this. This is in L.A. Oh, they're ransacking. They're ransacking 7-Eleven. I think they get on a chat and say, let's go here and just, but not a cop in sight. I think there's too many, they don't wanna start trouble and look for that.

Right, cause then with that many, it could get ugly, so they just take the hit. Someone gets shot, someone gets this, and then everyone goes, oh my God, they're just kids. What are you doing? But it looks like probably high school, college age. I just feel sorry for the owner. He has to call the insurance company.

You know, um, hi, this is Dave over at 7-Eleven, over in this neighborhood. I'm getting ransacked a lot. You know, I've got to get full coverage. Getting nailed again. How much do they take? They take every single item. It's about two million dollars.

All the solvers. Every single item. Yeah, I think that's the thing. They clean me out and I need insurance. Sorry, sir, we can't help you at this time. Yeah, I mean, give them a freebie, but you can't keep hitting the God M711 and keep stealing it.

It's just like crazy. I don't know. What am I doing? There you go. Give them a freebie, but you can't keep hitting the goddamn 7-Eleven and keep stealing it. It's just like crazy. I don't know. What am I doing? Oh, there you go. Trying to get on camera. They should open it for seven minutes in the morning and 11 minutes at night.

That might take them down. By the way, if they start closing all the 7-Elevens, like they're closing Walgreens and all the CVS, like if there's too many of these, then they close them down. That means the insurance excuse of like, oh, they got insurance they can pay. They close because insurance doesn't cover you.

They don't even cover houses anymore. No, they can't cover that. To be like fires and everything. No, you can't give insurance for a home in California. You really can't. You really can't. Certainly not fire insurance. Certainly not.

Good luck with that. 10 out of the 12 I tried to get for this dump, said no. Not even, we won't even charge you too much. Just not, we're not even trying. We're not in the game anymore. Yeah, they said they'd give me fire insurance, but it was more than the cost of the house. That was the insurance?

That's not a good deal. Yeah, don't close my 7-Elevens is the point. I don't want this to happen enough to where they close them down. I'm like, now we don't have my 7-elevens is the point. I don't want this to happen enough to where they close them down. I'm like, now we don't have 7-elevens. Okay, quick impression of a Japanese American in an earthquake after just hearing this information. Okay.

Ooh, there's a rumble. I think it's getting worse. Oh, there's a rumbling. I think it's getting worse. Give me a headache. By the way, that one you didn't go as crazy. You didn't yell. I like after. What's wrong? He's happy?

You got a buzz? He's happy. Happy because it's a little quake. Baby quake. No! Oh, that was a big one. I gave you one. That's what I want. Mm-hmm.

Give the fans a... By the way, just, we're not political on this show, but Kamala's out there doing her thing, and Trump, they put him at a window in McDonald's. So people are just driving, let's go get a burger. And he did seem incredibly happy handing off those burgers. Do some Trumps, let's hear it. You got a beautiful family, here you go, dull face.

Listen, darling, we put an extra cheeseburger in there. You like the ketchup? We'll put the ketchup. Beautiful baby boy, beautiful family. Next, you're tremendous. I mean, look at the thousands. He I'll put the ketchup. Beautiful baby boy, beautiful family, next you're tremendous. Look at the thousands, he's always noticing the people, the thousands of people, he's like, I could do this job. He said, I could do the job, I could do the job, I'd do it any time.

Why are you growling so much, Mr. X President? Because I like to growl and I can growl a lot. And I growl every time I think. Cause he's up 22 hours a day. I don't know why he does it. It's just... They do say he's old and senile now. I'm like, I don't know, because he can stand and talk for two hours. I can't. I act. I do an hour. I'm like,

hello, darkness, my old friend. Like, it's too much. And then he runs to McDonald's and he campaign. I mean, when you're on the campaign trail, that's gotta be a beating. They don't include jet lag. I'm not even factoring that in. I guess like when I'm driving on a long distance trip,

that's the one time I do go to McDonald's. I get a cheeseburger, small fries, and like I guess a smaller medium Coke. And that carb, sugar, salt boost really helps me focus the steering wheel. So I guess Trump has the metabolism that he can perennially chase energy. Just give me a cheeseburger when we get to Toledo.

Okay, we're in Florida, I want two filet-o-fish before I go on and a large coke. And so, us, we get low blood sugar, but he can keep chasing it with fast food. I want a filet-o-fish underneath the podium. I want extra fries. Dude, they gave me a double. Everyone is sickened by the fact they get a filet-o-fish,

but I love them. And they gave me a double one accidentally. It was too much of a good thing. I was like, I go, this is a double sick. It's something about it was sick. Plus there's a couple bones. It's the tartar sauce. I saw they catch them off Alaska. And there's millions of these little fish really happy.

Is it a real fish? Yeah, a real fish. And then they sweep them up onto the deck of the thing and they flash freeze them. Like this kid, this fish was just in the water, looking happy, all of a sudden like, ah, then it's like, shh. And then it's in your mouth with tartar sauce on it.

An hour later. An hour later. They smash all these minnows into little squares, smash them together. Yeah. Freeze. There's a guy with a big tartar sauce. Pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh, pfft, pfft. Sounds like Donald Duck. Pfft. Smash his face in the window. Yeah.

I love it. Can't be happier. I've never seen you do the... Pfft, pfft, pfft. ...effect. Denoting and enjoying it, but I do think Trump... Oh, I love it. ...chased that carb high. That's his secret energy.

Yeah. He can keep loading it. I'm packing on the pounds. Yeah, he somehow can eat still to this day McDonald's, which everyone says you gotta give it up at some point. No, KFC, McDonald's, all that stuff. Yeah, three milkshakes, four filet-o-fishes, and then I'm gonna have my dinner.

That's an appetizer. I had a sort of heaviest driver the other day at one of the gigs, and we walked out, you know, some of these small towns, it's like one strip of like 18 fast food places, you know, on the way out of town. And I go, dude, because I know he's sort of portly-ish and fat, you know? So I go, okay, what would you rather have?

I don't even know if he's listening to me. Sometimes I think I'm on the phone. I go, would you rather have? I don't even know if he's listening to me. Sometimes I think I'm on the phone. I go, would you rather have Wendy's, Carl's Jr. or Burger King? And then he doesn't answer, so I forget. We get to the next light and he goes. He's been thinking. McDonald's.

I go, are we still talking? Oh yeah, one and a half minutes later of dead silence, he's like this. He really gave it some thought. And then he goes, I'm gonna go off the board, Alex. I'm gonna take McDonald's. Wasn't even a choice. How about this?

What would you pick? We're driving. Hey David, Dairy Queen, A&W, or Jack in the Box? Jack in the Box would be third. I hate to say it. It's such a dirt ball. We don't want to lose our sponsors.

I don't think... Do we have any? Dairy Queen, A&W, or Foster Freeze? Dairy Queen, A&W or Foster Freeze? Dairy Queen, A&W or Foster Freeze? Both have. I think Dairy Queen because I used to like a Dilly bar and I like when they take the cone and go like this, bloop, into chocolate and it crunches up.

My wife and I are in Montana and the sandwich store was closed, Subway Sandwich. So we went into a Dairy Queen and we looked up and they go, there's the hamburger and the sandwich store was closed, Subway Sandwich, so we went into a Dairy Queen, and we looked up and they go, there's the hamburger and the fries and the thing, and then now they go, oh, it's 3,200 calories. It's like... Oh, they put that, that's the downfall.

They put it next to it. 9,500 calories for this dandy burger, fries, and onion ring. Oh my God. Cheesecake Factory, same thing. I'm on page 88 toward the end. And I'm like, hmm, well, this is healthy salmon. They're like, that's only 22,000 calories. I go, how?

The things you don't think are a lot sometimes. How much is a tartar sauce burger? Well, let me do a little John Kennedy interrogating somebody and go, now, when you walked in to the Dairy Queen restaurant, were you expecting a low calorie meal? Your words, not mine. You tweeted. I didn't really think about it.

When you got a McWhirl Whirl, three double cheeseburgers, were you expecting not too many calories? Is that your point? Is that what you wanna do? I'm sorry, I'm looking at this. Now this is, I'm just reading this out loud. There's nothing.

Now just hold on, let me talk. There's a, you ordered a McHeart attack. What did you think was in that? You got a Sunday stroke and then proceeded. What did you think was in that? HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH We would like to read some tweets you tweeted on October 4th. It's funny you deny that because let's pull up a chart of your tweets. They always give them a chance to lie. I'm gonna give you a chance here.

Your words, not mine. That's his catchphrase. Your words, not mine. Oh, he goes, this is a, It's right there, big as Dallas. Big as Dallas. He has a lot of that stuff. Did I look like I fell off a crawdad truck that was full of crawdads going to a tomato festival?

Is that what I look like to you? It used to be a turnip truck, but then they sold it, but now they pack it with crawdads, but then I fell off. Yeah. Do I look like a swamp creature to you? Do I look like someone that came out of a swamp? Just answer the question, please. Answer me. Did you see the movie Swamp Thing?

Did you think that was me? -♪ that I wouldn't know anything, I'd just be carrying a pretty girl. And have you ever been for-ray-ous? That was a good one. Your word, not mine. Yeah. All right. Should we end on that one? We did good. Yeah, 58 minutes of magic.

What else? What did you not get to? Oh, here's some bloopers from Tommy Boy. Oh, okay, let's do this one. People keep sending me this. I like this one because actually, I think this was the take we used in the movie, but it's funny to hear Chris laugh. This is just one of them. That's great, Tommy Boy bloopers.

Dang, this is the guy trying to buy the company, not to mention put you out in the street, and all you can say is, hmm, he's being like a night night. Richard, what's happening to us? The coat doesn't rip. Kim, that's way too tight. They put little lines down the back, they scored it and it's... I'm just like, ah, this was so big. I'm sorry.

You're alright. Dad was the best at telling people what they wanted to hear. It's the first day of shooting. Telling people what they needed to hear. He was good at a lot of that. They needed to hear. He was good at a lot of things. Sorry, the door is a jar.

How can a door be a jar? Whack! Ma'am, I'm thinking about blowing up the bar. Building. You just follow the extras laugh. The only thing I can figure out is whether to get Chicago style or thin crust. The salesman has left the building. See you in the bath tub. The crew put that out there. What do you say? Okay, okay.

The bull scared him? Yeah, the crew just put it up there for, just to ruin a take basically. Damn, it looks like a blast. And that was not even digital then. You had to really be precious about, you know, the film. Oh yeah, the takes. Run out and stuff.

And you seemed, I guess like 21 or something. I know you weren't. I got down, man. It's funny, because that first one where I go, he guess like 21 or something. I know you weren't. I got down, man. Yeah, you're young and young. It's funny, because that first one where I go, he seems like a nice guy. I don't know why, maybe I just said it like that on that one. And when he laughs at the end, he goes, what a dick.

Yeah, I know. It's so funny, but he has the best laugh also. Well, that really captured his bursting laugh. You can't describe it to someone. Just, I mean, it's just like insane. It's always nice. And if you make him laugh, it's so fun. It's so fucking fun.

It's nice when you can make another comedian laugh. Oh yeah, we laugh so hard on that movie. And sometimes people go, because I did an interview the other day and they go, so you and Farley had a fight over a sandwich on the moon. I go, don't even start, don't put it as negative. There's so many fun things. Of course, when you're doing movies and a TV show together

at the same time, you argue about stuff, but that was more like it, those bloopers, because we were just loopy and laughing. And the movie still came out funny, but those things are such a crack up, you know. Yeah, I mean, in Wayne's World 1, I guess the first time I said, yeah, she's a babe. If she was a president, she'd be Abraham Lincoln.

I think that's the lines of him. It was the middle of the night and Mike got the giggle. So he was laughing so hard. And then we just were able to keep it in the movie. Like he was breaking. Oh, is that when you're laying on the car? Laying on the AMC Pacer. There's something I said about...

That's great. Oh, no, I know what I said to him. You were... When you received Bugs Bunny dressed as a girl, do you like that? Or something about Bugs Bunny dressing. But he lost it. But did you not say that before?

You guys are just making up shit and just trying to... Something triggered it, and it was him basically breaking. He's not in the movie anymore, but we put it in as Wayne laughing and it comes off great. Oh, that's funny. The magic of editing, David. That's the fun though, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, well, that was a good one to end on. Okay, thanks, Dana. It was nice meeting you. I have a quick idea, just to put this in our listeners. We take over like Quentin Tarantino's indie film, and we show Wayne's World and Tommy Boy back to back, and we have a little chat about the movies. Oh, we talk about it while we play it or something? Or show them and then do a Q and A.

Maybe just do Tommy Boy. Oh, out in the real world? Yeah. Oh, we go somewhere? Well, yeah. We'll take this podcast on the road and basically we'll show movies and we'll do Q and A. We'll show a movie and then we'll do Q and A.

Thanks for the ideas. All right. Tell us what you want on the YouTube. Thanks guys. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly as executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it!