Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY #44 - Dudes on Dudes w/ Gronk and Edelman

Episode Date: November 29, 2024

The guys are joined by NFL legends and multi-time Super Bowl champions Rob Gronkowski and Julian Edelman to talk their careers, the Tom Brady Roast, and their new podcast "Dudes on Dudes". You can listen to "Dudes on Dudes" on the iHeartRadio app and all other major audio platforms. “Dudes On Dudes with Gronk and Jules” is produced by Nuthouse Sports in partnership with iHeartPodcasts. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

David, you know about Airbnb, right? I've had relatives that are coming to stay and they're staying for a little while and the hotel is far away or it's not quite the right fit. And so they get an Airbnb and these things are just a great use of digital knowledge. Oh yeah, I think people are just all moving that way because just easy, you do it on your phone,

you check it out and you find if you want your own privacy or whatever. Yeah. Or if you want a pool, you find one with a pool, you know, or one that you can bring your dog. It's it's completely not one size fits all super adjustable. I've used one in particular a couple of times and it was just charming and nice and very easy to use. So it's a good alternative

if you need a place to stay. Right, because hotels are great. It just sometimes, sometimes hotels don't spend as much meticulously checking everything out. Airbnb, I think they always seem to have personal touches and my friends say it's great and they would never Yeah, and if you want to, if you want a kitchen, you know, at the hotels it doesn't have a kitchen. A full kitchen usually can get that and do all that. Perfect accommodation, traveling with friends or family or on your own. Listen, for your next adventure it might be something to try out at least, you know? You won't regret making the switch from traditional hotels.

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All right. I've been working on a theme. Oh, yeah? Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Superfly. Oh, it's been a while. I've done that horror movie before. You have done it. That's F Troupe from 1972, a Western. It's just a funny, probably came from Vaudeville, where the trumpet fades down.

You know what? The trumpet is funny because Pac-Man does it too. I can't do the impression, but when you get killed, it goes, it goes, you know,, vugga, vugga, vugga, vugga, and then it goes, vr, vr, vr, vr, vr. You know, you get killed, it goes down. Oh, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Yeah. That's funny. F-Troop we shouldn't talk too much about because no one will remember, but I do remember it.

Well, all you're saying is substitute whatever age you are. This is a comedy Western. I don't know if there's a comedy Western out there in the world right now, a half hour comedy Western. That's funny. Pure comedy and very silly. You know, it was different during the cold war. Look into it. Comedic Yellowstone. Let's do it. I like the alpha. I have heard of a land man. And John Hamm and others, and John Hamm and Billy Bob Thornton are hysterical. And Billy Bob Thornton's character is so fun and so badass.

He's down in Texas and he's just kind of a shoot by the hip kind of guy. Now you can either suck my dick or you can squash my balls, but you, you got to pick something. You know, it's like, yeah, it's a really fun show. It's called land man, land man on Paramount plus. See if you can get, download that thing. Is the guy's name Taylor Sheridan that does 35 spin-offs. He apparently went out to lunch with someone and then on the right hand, he had a word processor to his right. He's ordering lunch and eating and he finished a Yellowstone sequel script. The guy is right.

The next sequel is just a contest winner gets to be the lead because he's running out of people. But what was it going to tell you about that? You said, you saw Billy Bob because we should have him on love Billy Bob. Love to have Billy Bob on and love to have John Hamm back. Pam is a stud. Yeah. And that's a good one to talk about. I tried to get Paramount Plus the other day. Of course, I couldn't compute it and how to get it on my TV.

I wrestled with the algorithm for about two and a half hours and then watched a 40 minute show. So it was still a pretty good ratio between that was my password. Try again. Really? I don't have another one. Okay. Put in your real name. You got to go.

Here's the scam that drives me bananas. You want your, here's your password and you write it in, you can't see it. So of course I got it wrong. Then it goes, so you want to keep this. You want this to be a new password. And I go, yeah. And he goes, that doesn't fucking work.

And it doesn't work anyway. So I'm like, why are you asking me that? You're just embarrassing me now. Everyone saw I have a password. I have one secret one that I made intentionally difficult, but sometimes I have like Bob or something, and then the algorithm gets really mad. This is an easy-

What the fuck are you doing? What are you doing? Yeah, they now because of AI, they swear at you. What the fuck are you doing? I'm going, I'm just trying to watch Landman. I don't need a lecture from a robot, bitch. They go, your password to Netflix is actually just Netflix. And I go, yeah.

And they're like, no, no, no. See, now are you joking with us? Because we don't like that at the password. Well, you sound like an AI then. Yeah, the AI's know you. Maybe AI will be kind of jerks. So what do you wanna do with this? That's what AI says.

The AI goes, okay, hold on a second. You need one emoji. You need a big letter, capital, whatever they call them. Yeah, you need a comma, a capital something, a letter, a word, and you need a kind of an emoji of some sort of antelope that would be common in North America. Antelope.

200 years ago. I give them the ball of yarn because no one uses that. Very underused emoji. I'm not paid to say this, but the one thing that works for me in my relationship with my computer is fucking Amazon delivery. They are ruthlessly, they just leave it,

they take a picture, they throw it over the gate. They don't fuck around. They, you can trace it. It's not sophisticated, it's just really efficient. And then other algorithms who try to watch the show and they're wrestling with you. You're really in an emotional fist fight for an hour. Listen, I'm not paid by emojis, but I spend, for how old I am, which is late 30s, I spend most of my day looking for funny emojis.

Too much time. That's great. I don't have a setting where I start to type it in and it shows up. So I have to fucking old school raw dog it and go look for whatever. Well, we talk about nothing too much. Nothing is good because here's the nothing. So you're kind of busy in life because I don't want to make this show business. You're busy and you're getting requests for something on your emails and you kind of, you punt on them, meaning later, later, later. And then you land, it's Thanksgiving vacation.

So now you have to disappoint people. You know, no, I can't make it. I would like, I won't be available. I can't. So, but my therapist said to me, always say to yourself, it's good for them. The people asking, but is it good for you? Then she goes, can you do this charity for my kid?

And you're like, really therapist? It's good for you, but is it good for me? And she goes, you got an A plus, you're half off today. So that'll be $700. What about, we're doing a gig in Fantasy Springs. You know that we're doing a gig. I know it's funny. This is our first big public gig since we started the podcast.

We've done some live podcasts, but just Spade, Carvey, Fantasy Springs, Palm Springs. What's it called? Fantasyland? Fantasy springs. I think I played there. It's like 7,000 seats. We better pull up our socks. It's gonna be great. Pull up our socks and give them the good stuff. We don't know who should. I don't want to follow this dandy who does stand-up. Oh yeah, we gotta figure that out. This dandy is in top fit shape, and I'm just working on it. I just did Reno, dude.

I did my last two gigs of the year. We might do a show at the Comedy Store next week. Me and you, we might do a podcast, but that'll be announced soon. That'd be fun. Yeah, let's do that. We got, so this show, this coat, which pops, and obviously everyone's buzzing about it,

and the chat rooms are buzzing right now. But I only wore it because all I had was my boring gray v-neck and a white t-shirt and I didn't want to go in my gerbits Halloween costume. That's what he wears to every lunch. I'm sorry, is this Prada? I'm sorry, is this Cashmere? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I have a shirt just like yours except mine's expensive. This is the world's greatest leather jacket, never to be made again. I just brought it out because I don't want the heat on because I worry about the climate.

So it's cold in this house. You're always worried about the climate. But if you see, it doesn't have belt buckles or fanciness. It's very thin. It's just people can see it. You won't be able to find it anywhere. I'm sure you've had that experience. You get a really cool jacket, a great shirt.

Never again. And then it gets lost or something. Never again. They never find it anywhere. I'm sure you've had that experience. You get a really cool jacket, a great shirt, and then it gets lost or something, never again. They never make it again. They literally go, everyone hated this coat, we're not making it anymore. And I'm like, oh, it's my favorite coat, but okay, got it. Right, let's get a heavy leather coat

with belt buckles on it. Before we get to a couple of stories, and also we have surprise guests, Rob Gronkowski and Julian Edelman. From the football fame. From Go Football. Go Sports. All pro superstar football players and Super Bowl winners. A good podcast name would be Go Sports because that's what people say when they don't know anything about the sports they're at. They're like, go sports.

They don't say for the team or anything. Yeah, they don't get it. They don't know. The kids would play, you know, CYO basketball, like three foot tall people doing basketball. You know, it's just, it's so funny that age group of kids trying to do basketball and they're double dribbling and running around. And this one dad, all he would do was yell, get the ball, just get the ball, get the ball. He's screaming the whole game.

This one guy had a kid who was six feet tall in fifth grade and that kid had like 60 rebounds. I go, your son's got 60 rebounds. Boy, he's tall. He goes, it's got nothing to do with his height. He just wants the ball. He just wants it. Oh yeah, nothing.

Nothing, no, doesn't matter. He's just a hard worker. Yeah. He could wants. Oh yeah. Nothing. Nothing. He's just a hard worker. He could be 3-3. And still get the ball. Okay, go ahead. How about this Dana? I was in Sacramento doing a show. Sack of tomatoes. I was in Sack and then I had to drive to Reno. Simple enough on paper. Yeah, you could do that. Gervitz and Alex Murray. My guys that book my road gigs are like fucking Colonel Tom Parker. They're like, Elvis, you can do another one. So I just like I'm just getting like very, you don't want to let down your family, do you? That's what he would do to Elvis.

You don't like money. That was be like, I think I'd like to take a break, Colonel Tom. Maybe just a week off. You wanna hurt your daddy? No, sir. Where do I go? Poor guy. He already got a new belt.

What does he need? I have millions of dollars. That wasn't a belt, it was a dinner plate with a leather strap around it. That was the largest belt. I can't, you know, imagine Elvis's response when Colonel Tom said, all right, Elvis, we got your outfit for Vegas.

Let's unveil it. They unveiled the curtain and it's like the white jumpsuit with the bell bottoms. Hey, why do I gotta have a dinner plate for a belt buckle and bell bottoms and a big old collar the size of some kind of Macy's? Farmers? So anyway.

Why do I gotta wear what Whitney Cummings wears in her podcast? Or did he like it? I liked Elvis. Whitney Cummings. Let's have her back on. She's a pistol. Did you have a good Thanksgiving? Is it already over?

That's right. I love everyone knows we don't even know when he's a. Yeah, did you? I mean, look, it's Thanksgiving time. This is the Thanksgiving. Did you have a good Thanksgiving week? People don't know that we're filming this in June or something from last year. We stack them in August and then spread them out throughout the year.

Dana, would you rather, I'm going to tell you about Thanksgiving in a second. Would you rather if it's snowing and raining, drive from Sacramento to Reno with chains, mandatory chains, takes roughly five hours, through Donner Pass. Over Donner Pass. And then drop down, cause you're trying to get to Reno.

Yeah. Oh, you're trying to get to Reno. Well, you would just get on the 80 and just, just go. Ooh, the 80. And go over the 8,000 foot thing where it's gonna be a wide out. You're gonna have to get chains on or not change. Mandatory chains.

People don't understand. You're getting paid to transport. You're not playing Sacramento. You're not playing Reno. You're getting paid to get David You're not playing Sacramento. You're not playing Reno. You're getting paid to get David Spade to Sacramento and then get David Spade to Reno in a blizzard. Let's just call it what it is. And then all the locals are like, I don't know. I go, it's probably like a no brainer.

It's easier. I don't need to fly. And they're like, well, maybe Donner Pass where they eat everybody. You know about that story. Yeah. Make sure before you get to Donner Pass, you've had a good meal at a diner or something. Because something about the ghost of Donner Pass, you start eating your wife's leg before you even think about it. For people I don't know, they would remind me, oh, I go, what happened there? They go, oh, I think only 80 people got stuck there and they ate 40 of them.

It's the real story. there's a documentary on it. Yeah, the real story. We shouldn't go into it on a fine podcast. I'm the mayor of Tahoe City and I say eat before you get in that general vicinity of donor paths. But then if you eat a lot, then you're going to be the first one to eat 10, right? Yeah, they would pick straws. Some did very well, you know, some, some,

but basically they were found by people in Sacramento. They were discovered, but they couldn't get them all over the pass. So then more eating, they thought you ate people? Yeah, but we're not gonna do any more. We just got rescued. And then they did more? But then they left and they weren't back in time.

So guess what, Wilbur, you're for dinner. Hey, Wilbur. Then they got home and they just did it by habit. They ate their friend. Hey, Steve. Hey, fucking I just ate. You see the barbecue there? Could you lay on it? Put two and two together. Hard to get a funny light cannibal joke, but anyway, you made it to Reno. Did you crush both sets? Reno was super fun.

Reno's a great crowd. My new special, Precious Cargo, should be coming out in April. Is it Precious Cargo? Uh-oh. Closer to you? Heather's fixing the camera. Oh, the laptop. I don't want to ruin the illusion, people think I'm just sitting here, but there is a laptop involved.

Let's do a couple things and we'll get to those guys. Let's do a couple of stories, anything. We'll just do a quick version of this. Okay, this is a quick version because we're getting to... Okay, here we go. Oh no. Oh, this story? I was going to save this, but it's too fucking juicy. Crypto investor pays 6.2 million for a duct tape banana on a wall.

Now, I heard about this story because I really have my ear to the tracks in the art world. My brother's very involved. So this is the kind of weirdo stuff my brother would love. Andy once did an art exhibit in a space in New York where he had all cactuses lined on the bottom of the floor in a small place and all helium balloons on the ceiling.

And they would just eventually come down and pop. So it's just about eventually we're all going to die. It was pretty heavy and everyone was like this, heavy man, heavy-osity. So it was cool though, I thought. Anyway, this guy, someone artist in quotes, taped a banana to a wall with duct tape and said, this is art.

And then they took it to, I think Art Basel and they call it comedian. And so it happened five years ago. And then I think after a while, someone saw it, ripped it off and ate it and said, that's my art, performance art. I'm eating your art. Do you ever go to art museums and walk around

and see the French impressive impressionists? Well, you mean the real art. Look, well, Bernie, Bernie Burlstein, our former manager, God rest his soul, used to go, yeah, we, you guys should make fun of fake art. Fake art. Well, it's fake. Can I tell you the most outrageous fake art that I've heard of? Cause my brother was living in New York and he's an artist too. Worse than the tape banana.

Ooh, yeah. So this artist, what he did was, he made a faux floor. So you'd walk in, you'd go up a step. So you're going to the art museum and you're up on a floor. And then you see a thing and it says that the artist is naked underneath the floor. I'm not making this up.

Crawling around and pleasuring himself. And that was the art exhibit. Yeah, I mean. I have no response. It sounds. Okay. No, I'm saying I get it because I've seen. It's a great piece of art.

Performance art. They have naked people close together like this in an art space and the crowd has to walk through them and kind of bump through and that's it. I mean, there's a woman that just sits and stares at you. Are we in the wrong business? I mean, if you're getting paid. Are we in the wrong business? I thought crypto was a scam. I mean, my God, I'm in the wrong biz.

I'm traveling over Donner Pass, spraying my body with Raids and no one eats me. You're like Everest, you got ice picks out and boots and sweaters. Get up here and go and poop out! The show's at 8.30, Carrot Top's opening. Not a Chili's in sight, nowhere to eat. They go, ready for dinner?

And I go, is there a Chili's? And they go, you for dinner? And I go, is there chilies? And they go, yeah, that dinner. So Donner passes all the way to Reno. It's all the way. I don't know. I don't know. I just read this one. First world problem.

You order, you've timed your dinner for room service because you want to just get energy, but not be stuffed to go to do the show. And you're like, Oh, it's a little late or I can't. Oh, and you call back. Oh, so sorry, man. We forgot to do the show. And you're like, Oh, it's a little late or I can't. Oh, and you call back. Oh, so sorry, man. We forgot to put it in. Yeah. And the stove broke. Do you want some potato chips? Yeah. There's a vending machine on your floor. Road, road work. I think that's, that's the book. All right. Life on the road. Yeah. Everything but the show. That's what the book's called. Yeah. Show's fun.

Okay, so I guess we're over the banana and the banana and the tail. Well, I mean, it's crypto. Is that real money? And did the guy who bought it, is it speculative? I like the fake crypto guy bought the fake art. I just think it's all money laundering in my own humble opinion, but you're just buying something that say costs a lot and then you can sell it to someone else. He spends a lot. I don't know. Well, there is a hypnotic thing. If you put a number like a comedian demands $100,000

for a corporate date and they go, well, that guy, that guy's $100,000 comedian. He must be good, yeah. Yeah, and that painting right there, I don't know if I like it. That's a $10 million painting. I'm starting to like it. Yeah. And that painting right there, I don't know if I like it. That's a $10 million painting. I'm starting to like it. So there's that.

What I do like is like baseballs, signed Michael Jordan. I mean, there's some stuff I think are cool that are like one of a kind things that feel like a tangible asset that's cool. It's scarcity to that. There's only so many Michael Douglas or Michael Johnson, all the Michael, Michael Jordan. It's scarcity. And so that creates memorabilia like that.

Like I have the Beatles capital record signed by all four and that's a pretty good amount. Yeah. Give me maybe that for my birthday. Okay. Here's the next one. Cheating on your spouse is no longer a crime in New York. Was it a crime? Was it a crime? What, what, what, was it a crime? That's the first question.

Is it? Adultery is no longer a crime in New York after governor Kathy, is it Hochul? Hoco? Hoco. Appealed a 117 year old law that classified as a misdemeanor. Nine, okay. Misdemeanor for 90 days in jail.

I mean, how many times have they convicted people? I think they just, the punishment is you get divorced. Well, what they do, if it's a guy cheating, they give him female jailers and see if he'll cheat again. If it's a woman cheating, they give a male jailer, see if she'll cheat again. That's the little game they used to play. And Chaplin would set up little weird 1910 cameras. And anyway, dude, that show cheaters was, was rough, but I used to watch it. So rough.

They, they, a girl would go, I think my dude's cheating and then they follow them with the camera crew to their car where they're making out or hooking up. She pounded the window. And you got a whole crew of like eight union guys filming you. They come on half naked. What are you doing? I'm just, I'm a work friend. There's so much content. I'm just going to say, you're in the wrong business again. You could be on, you could be on the crew of cheaters. Let's just make reality shows.

What are we doing? Here's my new reality show. You want to hear it? This is a real idea. Okay. It's called I'm Around and it's basically me and my loser friends because every time we go to lunch we walk back to the car and he's like, all right, let me know what's going on. I'm around. I go, okay, well, I got a gig Saturday, but I'm around. And then I go, okay, I got to go do this, but then I'm around. I'm around. Someone's around.

I think it's shy men to be afraid of showing their feelings. I'm around rather than, hey man, I'll call you. Let's get together. I definitely wanna hang out and go to a movie. It's a very casual. Listen, if you wanna go, I'm around. I've distilled life to this. Can I just put this out here?

Life is just about most of life for almost everyone is just, do you wanna go over there? Yeah, okay. Hey, maybe do you wanna go over there? Yeah, okay. Hey, maybe tomorrow we'll go over there. Yeah, I think I'm gonna go over there again too. It's true. Yeah. So most of life is just hanging out and going places. Jerry used to say,

you wanna go out and then you wanna go back. So you'd be out, let's go out, everybody go out, we're out, we're out. I think I'm gonna go in, let's go in. Yeah, hey, what'd you do today? Oh, we went to a park, then we went to this little restaurant. That's a good day.

How many more days you think you have on planet Earth? Well, 600,000 days of, you wanna go over here? Tragic, it's too bleak. You wanna go over there? Bleak, bleak, oh. My dad used to go, I stayed in this little flea bag hotel and bleak, it's quite bleak. Bleak is a funny word.

Okay, well let's get to these guys. Are we doing one more story? What are we gonna do? Up to you. You're the captain. One more story. Okay. Oh, oh, talk about wealth and access. The Kardashians got a private,

now this is not shocking to anyone, private showing of wicked. Before it comes out. You don't have to play the sound even if it's too loud. Oh, what it's like to be rich, because yesterday the Kardashians revealed that Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo threw them and their families

in private screening of the Wicked movie. Take a look. Kim Kardashian posted this on her story. Those balloons alone are over my budget. So they have all these pop-ups, they have a green Wicked carpet. They have one trillion flowers. Streamers are the cheapest thing in the book.

So this is in their house, one of their homes. One of their wings of the house, screens. And then like a full toy store of Wicked stuff from Ariana. Well, it's a normal childhood for the kids. Don't get spoiled. This is a one. Before everybody else knew. Oh, this's a normal childhood for the kids. Don't get spoiled. This is a one. Oh, this is before everyone got to see it. So this is even more special.

Way, way more exclusive. And they say, kids, we only do this once a week. So let's not get used to it. It's not, it's not an everyday thing. If I was from Boston and heard this, I would say, that's wicked, that's wicked smart. That's wicked smart. That's wicked awesome. That's wicked awesome. That's wicked smart. That's wicked awesome. That's wicked awesome. That's wicked smart.

I love that the Kardashians have monetized, hey, look at all the stuff we have and our planes and what we can do and they're still likeable. Somehow it just sort of works for them. What's the part? They premiered with it in Ariana and the other people watched it without it. No I said they were there, the two stars were there. They were there and they were like giving them everything and signing everything and just being like here's a Funko of myself and all right rolling and then they play it and they all sing along and I'm like God dang. Here's my guess and I don't know, but do you think that's the two actresses that went to the event got paid? Oh, they might have gotten paid. There's secret paydays going on all

over the place, dude. I'm not privy to them because... Oh, sorry, I won't be available on that day, excuse me. What'd you say? I have a gig, a million dollars? You know, let me check my calendar. You know, maybe I can push some things around. Yeah, I'm gonna, I'll get back to you. Yeah, must be rough productions. All right, let's bring on our guests.

I'm gonna go change my outfit so we can interview these guys. Me too, I'm gonna put on a black hooded sweatshirt because I wanted to get ready to rumble. Oh hoodies, it's tougher, it's like football, yeah. Like a Belichick hoodie, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so here we go, we got Rob Gronkowski

and Julian Edelman and we're gonna talk about a bunch of stupid shit. Super star football players. Dane, you're gonna munch a lot over the holidays. We all do. Oh yeah. Yeah. I like bread, I like butter, I like texture. Yeah, fluffy, fluffy bread.

Fluffy things. That's hot and you pull it apart and it's delicious. And then right when I grab it and then I get guilty right around there, like it's not good for me. Yeah, I like it. Bacon hot and you pull that thing across and it just steams your face and you're like, feeling really good. Stuffing, there's nothing better than stuffing.

Pass the stuffing. Remember as a kid, could I, would you please pass the stuffing? Awesome. Yeah. Bread pudding, come on. And you get screamed at. Well, Hero Bread takes the guilt out of it. You know all about Hero Bread.

We've talked about it. We've talked about carbs too, by the way. Yeah. So let the folks understand. Well, their products, delicious, flavorful, but have zero to one grams of net carbs, zero grams of sugar, and high in fiber. What else do you want?

Wow, so you're gonna enjoy grilled cheese with a cozy, I like that word, pumpkin soup, buttery Hawaiian rolls with the family dinner, or French toast casserole around the holidays with zero to one grams of net carbs and no sugar. Good Lord, high on fiber. Tastes good. So there's really no reason.

You can't give me a reason not to do it. There's also a little bit of nutrition. Let's go, we got some nutrition in there. You know you wanna add that in. You have New Year's Eve goals. You want to eat a little better. Come on, throw that in the mix. Then you get your breader.

You get your bread. And then it's a little better for you. And you get some nutrients. And you're not cheating really anymore. No, I think it's called a win-win. Yeah, I think that's called. This delicious that is actually good for you. Yeah, I'm just gonna call it a win-win.

Oh, also they have a two gram net carb hero croissant, which I get croissants on the road because when I order from, if I ever get room service like in the morning before the airport, it's always squishy toast because it gets steamy. Yeah, steamy. They have not fixed that yet. They don't figure it out.

So croissant is what it is. You get it. But now with this thing, you'd never know it's low carb and high fiber bread from the texture. Get the soft fluffy experience you know and love with your next savory breakfast sandwich, late night grilled cheese or family taco Tuesday.

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Dude! How you doing? Roach the alum. Is that one of them? That's a dude. He's got his fucking shirt on. That's a little... How are you, Julian? Hey, man. Get our e-books. Well, we can't start now, can we?

I guess we can. I think Rob will be here in two minutes. Are you in the same room with him? Probably not, huh? Jeez, jeez. Anybody like themselves? Look at that wall. Patriots, Patriots, me, me, me, me, me. Wow. And it's a little messy. It reminds me of, you know... Where are your Emmys?

Whoops. Somebody likes themselves. Mmm. I love people who have one Emmy. Whoops. Some people... Is he an Emmy? No, I'm just saying. I'm talking about my awards. He's got every Pop Warner.

This is Julian Edelman behind his chair. He's gone to get headphones. He's got a lot of awards. This guy. Pipsqueak award in third grade for guy that tried the hardest in football. He started, yeah, he started out tiny. How tall is he?

4'11". He went... He started high school. Let's tell him he's the Kevin Hart of football and he'll beat the shit out of him. tall is he, 4'11"? He went, he started high school. Let's tell him he's the Kevin Hart of football and he'll beat the shit out of him. No, he's not, he grew. But he didn't. No, he's short for that world,

which is like 6'3 or something. I like how he goes, oh, I'll go to Radio Shack. Where did he go? They just wanna say, this is like when people go, hey, I'm here, I'm a half hour late. And then they go, I gotta go to the bathroom. So they touch base, like I'm at the restaurant. I gotta leave again.

Don't count this as my time, I'm late, I'm here. So he pops in, Gronk doesn't even know there's one today. He's just still trying to turn his fucking laptop on. He's in front of an Xbox right now. Oh, he is here. Dude, he's literally phoning it in. Hey buddy, yeah. I gotta unleash the snake.

I gotta go piss. Okay. I gotta go lay down a King Kong finger poop. He's vertical. He's vertical. That's cause he's phoning it in on his poop. He's vertical. He's vertical. That's cause he's phoning it in his phone. He's literally phoning it in. Yeah.

Look at that. We've got ring lights. I like the- Did you guys not hear me? Do I need headphones or do I have to wear headphones? Oh. I'm back. Actually, that was the first time

I wasn't taking the number two. That was the number one. So I'm good to go. I like this ghetto ramshack podcast operation, a kitchen chair. You guys have a great set for dudes on dudes. I mean, this set is- Is this the dudes set?

It's pretty high end. This is the dudes show right now, right? We're on your maiden episode. No, you've done a few episodes. This is dudes on dudes on steroids because we're doubling up with you two. So thank you guys. Fuck yeah. Dudes. D This is Dudes on Dudes on steroids because we're doubling up with you two. So thank you guys. Fuck yeah.

Dudes. Dudes. Dudes. Dudes. What up dude? How you doing dude? Dudes? Let's go to my suite.

Do you remember that old, you guys wouldn't remember this old Sandler album where it was dude. Hey buddy. Hey dude. Buddy dude. That was from the old, old days. That was on one of those old albums. It was his first album. Hey, buddy. Hey, dude, buddy, dude, that was me That was on one of those old out his first album and it was called 90

Yeah, and we all played we just talked like that dude, buddy, buddy, dude, and then homie Chris Rock was homie I don't know why Anyway, guys, thanks for coming. I'm sorry One of us two of us were late. Look at Rob left again. There we go. I just wanted to turn off that backlight. It was annoying. Better.

Uh-huh. Dana, I will tell you quickly to briefly let you know who these guys are. I know all about them. They broke my heart many times. I was... Oh yeah. But I became a Patriots fan.

At some point you had to just go off too. Yeah. You were like the chiefs of the day. Can you explain how we broke your heart Dana? Like who's your team then? Yeah. Didn't you just, did you take apart my Niners at some point? Was it 49ers?

Oh, I mean, we didn't really play the 49ers. We played them like two times in our career. We never played them in the playoffs or anything. So you can't be too disappointed. Who did you beat in your Super Bowls? You have four, three, who'd you beat? Who'd you whip ass on? Come on dudes. Falcons, Seahawks.

Fucking pussies, go ahead. Seahawks. And Ravens. Never like us. Ravens? We lost in Indy against the Giants. Soresub. Yeah, that was bad.

Grounds, all right. Oh, yeah. We have a weather Super Bowl. We lost two Super Bowls in cold weathers. Cities. Minnesota and Indianapolis. Is it a real thing when they say they're playing outside, like the Dolphins are playing in the snow, they're not gonna do well because they're not used to it? Yeah, that's a real thing, 100%. I mean, you're kind of just used to that warm weather,

and right when you hit that warm weather, you're kind of like warmed up and you're loose and all that good stuff. When you come up to the cold, man, it's a whole different feel, especially in the hitting game. I mean, yeah, you can run around and run routes and not get touched, but the soon as you have contact

and it's freezing cold out, it's a whole different type of mentality that you gotta have and you gotta kind of establish that throughout time. So yes, it's a big advantage if you're up in New England. But it's also an advantage for the hot weather team when we go there. Like we always used to lose to Miami in, you know, December when, you know, it's freaking 30 degrees, 20 degrees in Boston,

you go down and it's 92 and 80% humidity in Florida. Like that's tough for us. You always have a home field advantage of where you're at, which is going to be really cool to see in this new college football playoff with, you know, these SEC teams having to go up to the big 10, go up to Ohio or Michigan or vice versa, to see the big 10 schools go down to the SEC and play in the heat. That's part of home field advantage. Are you mad that you don't get paid to play college?

That would have been nice, right? I can't even imagine. You look at the damn player lot of Georgia, there's like seven Lamborghinis. I played that for over 12 years, I've never seen that many Lamborghinis. They can't leave college, it's a pay cut, right? And I mean, you guys, they're making four million,

the gymnast is very attractive. When you watch a game, it's like this. The quarterback, who's a transfer from Georgia, just threw it to the halfback, who's a transfer from ASU. It's just like, Jesus, it's hard to keep track of who's on what, but I know everyone's making way more money than me. It is hard to keep track, and there eventually

has to be a rule in place to kind of manage it a lot better than what it is right now. I mean, like five transfers you can possibly have is kind of ridiculous. They need to limit down the amount of transfers you can have throughout your college career. And then also eventually, I feel like there might need to be like a salary cap for each team.

Yeah, no shit. It's like so unfair, like Georgia, Alabama, I mean, they got boosters that are billionaires and they can just boom, write any type of check. And then you go to like to the math schools and like those guys, like there's no boosters or anything that are writing big checks like that. So unfair, but it needs to be managed

and there has to be some type of thing. Because it's so new, right? I agree with you. I think Michigan just snaked a guy. It's a wall-wall-west still. I mean, to be a free agent every year for the player, that's gotta, I mean, that'd be insane. You don't even get that in pro football. I mean, you could literally go play a really good year

in Alabama and make like six million bucks and then say, yeah, I'm gonna hit the transfer portal and go make 10 million at like Georgia. Which, that's crazy. You're a free agent every year. What would you ask for? Wait, if I was in college? Yeah, what would you be your bottom line?

Yeah. Two million? Three? And a Lambo? Gee, I don't know. I was so happy. It would be fun to figure out what your worth was, like who's coming to you with what.

You'd be like, that Paltry bullshit? I'm not going for that. Cause you look at other guys, you go, am I better than that guy? Am I better than that guy? Right? That's how it works. Where does, I'm sorry, I just need to,

I'm not an expert on this. Where does name, image and likeness integrate with this transferring and getting more money? Is it just a separate lane or is it? Well, first off, Dana, it's not really name, image, likeness. That's just a way to get by. But it's really just getting paid by the boosters

or the school, whoever's paying them. Because these guys, my life right now is name, image, likeness. I'm an ambassador for a couple companies. Same with Julian. I actually have to go out there and go to these companies' business meetings and meet everyone and mingle and go on air

and talk about the business. These guys, oh, here you go. Here's a check for your name, image, likeness. And then you just go out and play football. So they're technically not getting paid for that. They're technically just getting paid to go play football. But some of them are influencers and have like 20 million Instagram followers and stuff.

And that's another revenue stream. Yes, those are the guys taking advantage of their situation right now in college. So then they can have a long-term program. So those influencers and TikTokers or bloggers or whatever they are, they're building a fan base now. So let's say when football is done with, or they go to the NFL, then when the NFL is done with,

they're building their fan base up. So then when they're done playing sports, they can go out there and still have an audience and still make some big money, I guess. Yeah. Whatever happened to keeping the main thing, the main thing, like football. I know, I know.

I was about to say, remember Juju Smith with his TikToks and people didn't love it? Yeah. So you come in going, look at how many followers I have. I'm a regular Dixie D'Amelio. And they're like, well, how about just play football, put your phone in your locker,

and then let's see what happens at the end of the year. Too old school. I mean, you know, look at the Tyson fight. I mean, you know, fame equals money. I mean, would know, look at the Tyson fight. I mean, you know, fame equals money. I mean, would you guys fight each other for 20 million each, or would you fight Elon Musk? No, Rob would fight Tyson for five million. I would definitely, I think I would fight

anyone out there in the world in the boxing ring. Not UFC, UFC's too much. I mean, that's brutal, but I would box anyone in the world right now for an eight figure payday. Hands down, I's brutal, but I would box anyone in the world right now for eight figure payday hands down. I quit everything and trained for five months. Eight? What happened? I said five. Eight figure. That means under 10 is nine figures, 10 and up. You do it for-

I need eight figures, Dana. If I'm gonna get my head knocked in, I need some money. No, well, let's just break it down. You as a boxer. So you're basically 6'5", 6'6", 260 or what are you? Break it down for you right now. Me and my boxer. Yeah, break it down. Okay? Yeah, yeah. This is for you. Okay, what we... Okay.

Was the front for us or the back? I gave you the sign because I'm your son. I wanted to know what you're like. I saw that sundial. Do you take a lot of punishment? Was the front for us or the back? I did it to the side, cause I'm your side. I wanted to know what you're like. Are you a- I saw that sundial. Do you take a lot of punishment? Do you delve out punishment?

Do you hold a lot? Do you have a jab? Do you have a hook? Do you, I mean, what kind of boxer- Don't be a clincher. Let's ask his friend, Julian, what kind of boxer is this guy? Come on, Julian.

You know what he is. Give it up. He's just a haymaker. He's gonna try to get you with the haymaker. Yeah, early on. Okay. He's just a haymaker. He's going to try to get you with a haymaker. Yeah, early on. Okay. Yeah. He's got long reach.

If we can work his jab, because he can be really nasty with the jab, because he's got like an eight foot reach probably. He's going to be taller. Eight foot reach is pretty good. Yeah. I think if we can get his jab going, just all he's got to do is connect once and the guy's done. I feel like Jake Paul is a very tough guy,

but I think Rob could get in there and mix it up a little bit. Hey, I would fight Jake Paul. I would 100%. Like I said, I would fight anyone in the ring if the payday is right. I quit everything right on the spot and train. I would actually love to do that, man.

I would have a purpose of just being able to quit everything, because everyone would understand, and then have a purpose of just becoming a fricking absolute animal out there again. Unit. And then it's a mystery fight. And then at the end you find out it's Belichick. Now what?

I mean, if it was Belichick, it would be like the fight that we just saw, the main event. I would just throw a couple of jabs and then I would back off and be like, coach, I love you too much. Just whispering to each other and nudging like two cats. You just hold him tight.

You'd hold him tight. Yeah, hold him tight. I'll let him wield a couple punches, let him feel good, but that's all. Dude, I like that Jake ball fight when like third round, he's like whispering, don't hit me so hard, Tyson, you know the deal. You initialed it, you docu-signed it.

I'm like, okay, okay, guys. Did he say that? It seemed like it, yeah. I think it may have been. I mean, it was kind of like, every time Tyson had a shot, he'd pull back. I go, all the rumors are true. This is, I don't know.

Wait a minute, are you saying that that sporting event might have been fixed? Are you going on record? It wasn't even called like a boxing match. It was like, this is an entertainment thing. I think it was actually categorized as a real fight. As sanctioned. It goes on the record.

It was a sanctioned fight. For boxing, that's the day of counting that? Jeez-o-pees-o. All right, let's get to the hard questions. Let's ask some questions of these guys. Let's grill these guys. Come on, I like it hard. Let's hear.

Yeah, okay. Hey man, that's why you guys came up with Nuthouse. So you guys are businessmen now. You're starting an empire basically. Nuthouse Productions, I looked at it. Right? Right? Right, right. So far we're right?

Correct. Correct. And the show, the new podcast is called Dudes. Dudes on D we're right? Correct. Correct. And the show, the new podcast is called Dudes. Dudes on Dudes. Dudes on Dudes. Dudes on Dudes. Dudes on Dudes. But you guys, because you were superstars in your other profession, probably a trans,

like it did with Michael Jordan and others, like competitive, right? Like you want to build this and just be monsters, right? Because that makes life interesting. That means you're going to build this thing just be monsters, right? Because that makes life interesting. That means you're going to build this thing out as a giant production company. It's less painful, less hurt on the side. Exactly, we're relentless. Like Julian always says,

and we're not going to stop until we get there, baby. Yeah, we might have a couple bloopers, a couple mess-ups, but knowing Julian as a teammate out on the field, he always gets back up when he gets knocked down. And same with myself, you knock us down, we're gonna keep fighting and we're gonna keep fighting until we win that championship baby. Yes. That's a good speech.

Have you ever after someone tackled you during a game, just stood up and said, you do that again, I'll kill you motherfucker. Have you ever said that to an opposing player? Did you not see Rob do a fucking, did you not see him in Buffalo when he gave the people's elbow to a fucking... He dropped his elbow on a guy because he got mad at him.

Yeah, I got mad at him. He kept holding me. I didn't tell him, hey, if you hold me again, I'm on a people's elbow. But he just kept doing it. He literally went down and did a people's elbow. I like it's called a people's elbow. That's how far away I am from the NFL. The people's elbow is the Dwayne Johnson, the rock in the WWE.

Oh, you drop it on him? To the football field, David. Right. All your weight on him. Yeah. No, but I think with Nuthouse, we enjoy doing it. We're not, we're competitive, yeah. But we're not looking at where we want to bring it right now. We're still just diving into the operation

and trying to make the product as best as possible, worrying about what we can with the show and trying to make our chemistry kind of like yours. Very boring. We're 150 in you asshole, and we don't know what we're doing. By the way, Jules, are you at that goddamn mansion I drive by that I've driven by before? I won't say where.

No, I moved. God dang. I moved and I did. Fucking, the rich get richer. All right, now on the roast, we're friends with Nikki Glaze. Whoa, we're friends with all those guys. I have a few questions, just quickly.

You did this roast to Tom. Did, okay, first of all, like, when we did the roast, I did the roast, I did the Rob Lowe one, we didn't know each other's jokes ahead of time. Do you guys, did you guys know each other's jokes? No. No, but we would have to tell our jokes to the room.

And then they didn't tell us if someone had a joke that they would say like, ah, you can't use that one. Oh, it bumps with somebody. Yeah. Yeah. And to what room? Writer's room? Writer's room. Yes, correct. Oh, you had to get up Yeah. Yeah, and to what room? Writer's room? Writer's room. Yes, correct. Oh, you had to get up and say them?

I do. Yeah, I went to the comedy store and fucking performed my jokes. Oh, I should have gone down there and said that. I was terrified. Thank God there was 15 like brat kids there that loved football so I could say anything and they were gonna laugh.

But I was up there and I was reading my jokes off a paper and I did like 12 minutes. I wanted to like test jokes. That's a lot. Yeah, and it was, I was so terrified. It was really stepping outside of my comfort zone. Oh, that makes you sick. That's so scary to go up in front of people and read those.

Yeah, that's normal. For real. Did you have someone write with you? Did you have someone help write with you? Oh yeah. In your voice? They have roast writers, I think. I have my own team and then we worked with their team

and we kind of formulated and drew a bunch of shit at the wall and then I went to the store and sent them all and kind of said, all right, this one's a good one. They didn't like this one. And it's very hard of said, all right, this one's a good one. They didn't like this one. They didn't like this one. And it's very hard to say, hey guys, we're roasting Tom Brady.

It's not the same exact scenario because they're ready for regular con. Now, when you go to the roast, everyone's lasered in. This is about this, blah, blah, blah. So I've seen like Nikki go in, okay guys, here's what I'm doing. I'm hosting the MTV awards. Picture green day here.

It's just not the same. You don't get the exact same reaction, but you get a feel like this one might work. So that's good. And Rob, you did the same thing. I'm sorry, did you say that? Yeah, mine was similar. I actually had like three different phone calls

with the writers. They just wanted to understand the feel of, you know, of the type of material that I had for Tom and the other people that were gonna be there. And then they kind of wrote some jokes for me. I actually have a friend who's an absolute maniac who when he's on fire, he's on fire, he can come up with anything.

So he wrote four of my jokes. And then I actually wrote four of my jokes as well. And then all the other jokes were from the writers. So, you know, it was just a team effort, but at the end, once you have your whole script, you tell the writers what you're gonna say and, once you have your whole script, you tell the writers what you're going to say. And then they figure it out. Hey, you can't say that because someone else is already saying so it wasn't repeated. How much fear that's fair compared to

when you're starting a football, doing public speaking, going to a podium, they got all these comedians. It's a global event. I mean, it was an amazing growth. And you guys are coming out there and you're following people. I mean, what was your nerve level? I'm sure you couldn't compare it to athletics, but it's intense. It took me years to get used to doing it.

Took me three years without being just terrified to do standup, you know? Dude, I mean, it was really scary because we're football players, we're not comics. And then you're following fucking pros. Yeah, shark shares. Huge event. I'm so thankful I had that rep before at the store

because it gave me like a rep of it. But I was, I was definitely terrified just because that's not what we do. I know. That's why I was just asking. And the size of the crowd is bigger than normal standup. It's crazy that there's not many people. Yeah, there was 10,000 people.

It was at the forum. There's like, but the cool thing about it was you only saw the people, you didn't see the crowd. You saw like the, they had a bunch of tables for people that were gonna be made fun of or associated with people. So you saw a lot of your friends in the crowd. I didn't, you know, so that, that was kind of cool. And also everyone knows you're not a professional standup. So there is usually goodwill, you know, because they understand it's not what you do for a living right now, but how,

how was your nerve level, Rob? You were relaxed. We're crazy psychos, man. That's why we won so many championships together is that Julian wants to be the best, even though that's not his profession. I wanted to be the best up there, even though that's not my profession. I mean, Bill wants to be the best.

When you sign up for something, we want to be the best and we're super competitive. And that's why I feel like that whole group right there, we won so many championships and why we went to the playoffs every single year because of that competitive nature. But my nerves were cooking a little bit. That's why between Julian, you know, myself and Kevin Hart,

we are all three in a row and we literally finished a bottle of tequila before we even went up there. And that definitely helped out because when I got up there, that tequila just went, it went, it went zoop and it was just game on baby. And also-

Wait a minute, so before you went out, you had at least five shots, six shots of tequila. No, or on stage probably. Yeah, right on stage, right? We were drinking it. By the time you got to the podium, how many shots of tequila? I don't know, probably six to seven.

10, seven, okay. Yeah, six to seven. Actually, I had a prerequisite in my cocktail before. So I tried my cocktail of what I was gonna do before at the store so I could dive in my- Wow, you're prepared. I have to say that the nerves erase a lot of your buzz sometimes.

So you're really drunker than you think because you're so fucking giddy with all the energy and the adrenaline that you go, I don't even know if I'm drunk, I'm just... Yeah. And you're too fucked up actually. You don't feel it as much if you're adrenaline. That's what happened to me.

And also it kind of sucked waiting your turn because once your turn was over, you know you killed it. It felt so good just to watch rest of the show. Like it was like you laid back and relaxed. Or you get something stepped on. That's what I was scared because Nikki I thought was first. And when someone goes before and they do jokes,

I'm like, oh my God, I'd be going, fuck, that steps on this joke. Oh, do I gotta take that one out? And who do you tell? It's live. You're like, do I text someone? Like, get rid of that joke. It bumps exactly with Kevin Hart's joke. It's the same thing.

That's the hard part. That's where the writers have to make sure, unless you're ad libbing or something. But I'm sure ad libs come out because it's live and just in the moment you want to add a tagline or something. I was watching. So I was really amazed with the professionalism of all, like, the comics that went up there and with Kevin Hart and watching him, how he was off the teleprompter, like how he would hit a couple of things on the prompter, then ad lib and then go back to the prompter. I was watching who was reading their jokes and who wasn't. And Rob went up there. I'm sitting there looking at his prompter.

Then I'm looking and he went completely rogue. He just started going on his own read. It was crazy. It was like fun to see who was using their prompter and who wasn't. It was full rogue on the prompter and just started going raw. And then you don't know where you're coming back to because they're like, the prompter goes down and they go, are we, is this this part?

And then you're like, cause you know, live, a lot of those rows, like the one I did, they can, they trim it from three hours down like an hour and a half. So they were cutting all the fat out, all the mistakes. It's more fun to see the mistakes and see what's really happening. Definitely.

I think so, yeah. Did anything shock you? Did you hear jokes that like, you were like, oh, shoot, we're doing this? Were your feelings hurt or did you ever observe anyone else who you felt like their feelings were hurt? Cause that's the LiveWire reality show aspect of Rose. You're laughing, but then I've seen Rose where, whoa, that person's really wounded right now.

I guess that's part of it, but did you witness? Or yourselves, did you get your feelings hurt at all? No, I don't think anyone got their feelings hurt, and that's what made that Rose that much more special. And it also kind of makes you stronger as a person as well. If you can just take those beatings and lashings in front of millions of people in front of a crowd of 20 plus thousand people in front of all your good friends as well. I mean, it makes you strong mentally. And that's why I loved it. I mean, I can go around anywhere now, whatever people say about me, and actually that roast literally kind of freaked me out. I don't care what people say, call me an idiot, call me dumb, like whatever,

I was in front of millions of people and that happened. Like, so it's no big deal. And I think that's what made the show so special too, is everyone took the beating and no one was actually truly heard about it. That's what the really, that's what the locker room is. I mean, no one's safe in the locker room. Everyone's getting made fun of.

It was just public. Well, when I did the roast, they go, like it's hard to see someone walk up and go, you know, everyone says Spade has huge ears. And I'm like, wait, what's going on? Wait, what does everyone say? Because you're never hearing everything people are saying. So when they start a joke with,

I think we're all in agreement. And then it's like some horrible thing about you. And you go, and you're trying to brace like, oh, okay, that was too much. I'm gonna mark that down. I gotta talk to them after. I gotta mark that one down because there's so many coming at you.

You just go, holy shit. That's why I never did it for so long. Cause I'm too much of a pussy to take it. It's just so out of left field. I think it's crazy to hear how you analyze the show. Like we don't think about that. You guys are pros, so you're sitting there like, oh, he hit that, so I'm gonna fucking bring this to him.

Oh, he hit that. I wanna go up early. You're like, that was really not fucking fun. That's a deal breaker, they go, I go put me up early. Because by the time like Andrew Schultz got on, he has great jokes, but it's hard to just get the effect when you've heard you're numb by this point. Nikki had the best spot.

I think she was third or fourth. Kevin Hart warmed them up. A couple of people were very good. It's cooking and then there's a wave that she caught and she was incredibly prepared. I mean, she worked like for six weeks or something, night after night, taping, recording. But yeah, later on, it's just like, you know,

do you guys, do professional athletes still snap the towel? Cause I haven't been in a locker room since I was- Did they ever? Did they? Dana, when he was in high school, they were snapping his ass. Snapping his ass. But I actually, I was like the size,

I guess Julien, you were a hundred pounds when you went into high school, they were snapping his ass. Snapping his ass. But I actually, I was like the size, I guess, Julien, you were 100 pounds when you went into high school. I was 92. You could have beat the shit out of me even then. But football guys would just pick me up, like probably my god, just throw me against the locker. You know, in high school. Uh-oh, Rob, don't come back.

I think we offended Rob, yeah. Oh, there he is. No, I was 169 pounds in high school, so. As a freshman? No, as a sixth grader. And I'm so smart and intelligent. Oh, good for you. My academics were high school.

That's way to say. Right, you were a math whiz, literally, right? In high school. I'm gonna fact check this, Jules. Jules, come on now. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We're in a podcast. I don't know where we are, but it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. Yeah. No, I shockingly got cut from football. Actually the coach, I was supposed to do a 10 yard button hook, I did about a 12 yard, so I took it right in the fucking grill. And the coach walked me aside like I was supposed to do a 10 yard button hook, I did about a 12 yard, so I took it right in the fucking grill. And the coach walked me aside, like I was Lucas like that old movie.

He's like, hey kid, let's go get you a snow cone. And then walked me off the field and then off the campus, just to say, I don't think football's for you. Who would want a snow cone if they could have an actual ice cream bar or something? A snow cone is what I was saying. Unless it's 110 degrees. But I was a star in...

We lost him. I was a star in flag football. Many touchdowns per game, stuff like that. But then when it came to tackle football, a guy ran me over and I just said, I'm leaving. What the fuck? They were playing flag football back then. This is in the sixties.

John Brody, you guys don't go that far back. He was a 49er quarterback, gave me my certificate MVP. Flag football was way more civilized. It was, you know. Flag. You weren't really getting tackled. They would just take your flag. Are you guys gonna play flag in the Olympics,

which I don't think should be a sport? I wish I, if I was in my prime, I would. I can't run anymore. For real? Yeah. I was gonna ask you guys that, but it's maybe it's. 100%. If you can go to the Olympics,

like I don't even, that sport's completely different, but I'd be able to- Yeah, it's not what like you guys did. You have to juke. Rob, can you run? I would be just a red zone threat, you know? Put all these little guys in that can run right now. I can still run decently,

but not like how I used to be able to, but I can still go up there and make a play over the guy that's 5'8", you know, in the red zone and score. Cause that's what I do. I'm a scorer, baby. I only score. That's what we see when we think of you. I want to ask you guys this question. What's braver in the pocket as a quarterback, knowing people are coming from your blind side to kill you basically, or being a receiver going up for the ball and knowing the hits coming, you're not completely protected. Are they equal?

But they seem like the toughest mental positions to put yourself in that situation, as quarterback or receiver. No, no, they're not equal because- Okay, that's why I wanna ask the answer. As a receiver, you have momentum as well when you're going up for the ball, you're running full speed,

and that defensive back or safety or linebackers running full speed the other way. So it's like a head on collision with two guys going full speed in the pocket. You're just still and the guy that's coming for you, he's already getting pushed around. It's not like he's teeing off running full speed. Like he can might just grab you with the arm and just throw you down.

So it's definitely more vicious to get drilled going up the middle and not seeing the guy come and the quarterback sitting in the pocket. So for our trend, you had a much tougher job than Brady did throughout your time with the Patriots. Yes, that is correct. and the world. and only until 11 a.m. As a Fizz member, you can look forward to free data, big savings on plans, and having your unused data roll over to the following month, every month. At Fizz, you always get more for your money.

Terms and conditions for our different programs and policies apply. Details at fizz.ca. The faster money and data move, the further your business can go to a seamless digital future for Canadians. Let's go faster forward together. In life, interact. You can't even hit the quarterback anymore, but back then you could hit him a little bit.

But I mean, Tom played so long, he was getting hit early in his career. Yeah. Yeah. But it's physics. So, like Rob was explaining, I mean, if you're going 16 miles an hour this way, this guy's going 80 miles an hour this way. No, I know.

There's a bigger force. You know, I would say, I played quarterback. You could... You could feel it's different. Because, like, the quarterback is throwing you somewhere, you could feel, it's different. Cause like the quarterback is throwing you somewhere when you're across the middle, you can kind of feel it in the pocket.

Sometimes you don't obviously, but I think it's just the brute speed going across the middle. You guys were mostly car crashes, but it's better to just do a straight deep route, just so, cause you're just running basically. Well, it's also your, it's mostly car crashes, but it's better to just do a straight, deep route, just so, because you're just running, basically. Well, it's also your, it's an easier catch too, because of all the going away and...

Yeah, and the guy with you is running with you, not right at you. Are there, where's the injury quotient at this point? I mean, high-niners have been destroyed. McCaffrey, Brock Purdy, Nick Bosa, Kittle, I mean, Brock Purdy, Nick Bosa, Kittle. I mean, is it just, it's always been this kind of level. It seems like the team that stays healthy, all things being equal, of course,

is gonna win the Super Bowl. Every team is one or two players away. They're out and the whole trajectory changes. Dane, I just think that using that, using the injury bug is just an excuse for your 49ers. I just think they can't get the job done anymore this year, buddy. Yeah, they got some injuries, but... So, there were a lot of other teams,

and they got so many good players that can step up as well, and it's just not happening. So, you're just like everyone else in the Bay Area, just making excuses. So, you're just saying that a Devo Samuels in a Christian McCaffrey, you can get the D-League out there, you're gonna get the same production.

Exactly. I mean, we had Julian Ellerman, Rob Gronkowski out there at one point, guys are seventh round pick, and I was the second round, nobody coming out with a backhand. Yeah, scrubs. You're talking two superstars. Yeah, you became superstars.

They should be able to get it done. And they got Kittle, don't forget about him. He only missed one game, so that's technically not. Right, no. So you gotta love Kittle. But why does Brock Purdy doesn't make any money? And I feel bad for him. He lives in like a one bedroom apartment.

He drives an Uber at night. I'm like, dude, everyone else is bitching because they don't get 40 million a year. This guy's a starting quarterback on Dana's best team. There's rules, he has to make it three seasons. He's making less than the Georgian Alabama quarterbacks that are in college.

Yeah, no shit, go back to college, dude. I know. He drives a Hyundai Accel. Getting back to injuries? Yes, please. Idiot. There was some of our best years we didn't win the Super Bowl because we got hurt.

You know what I mean? I think in 15 we started 9-0. You know, we lose Nate Solder to a pack, Dion Lewis, I broke a foot. You know, there's years where Gronk got hurt, we didn't win. Like that's part of the game and that goes into the off season of the program on how they get their athletes going on their performance side, how they keep all their physical

and their cardiovascular health, all that stuff is like part of it. So like the whole intubate thing, everyone deals with it. So if you're sitting there saying, we're one guy away, it's never that, that's never the case, look at the Jets. And most people are injured anyway.

Yeah. They call it kind of banged up a little bit. The team's a little banged up. They say no. You're either hurt or you're injured. Everyone's hurt. Everyone's hurting. So did you, would you, do you guys feel like

you got out at the right time based on if you played too long with too many injuries? I mean, I worked with Dick Butkus on a TV show and he walked real funny. He was about 45 at the time. And you know, they didn't know how to deal with injuries. I worked with Willie Mays in a sitcom. I feel like I got out right at the right time. Like, you know, I was kind of still playing well, but I mean, I wasn't producing like how I could produce

when I was 24, 25 years old, but I was still going out there and making plays, but I got out like right before I was gonna be absolute terrible. And I feel like that's the best time to go out because you're still on top and you didn't really show that you truly dropped off like out of nowhere like the Super Bowl in Tampa. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I played one more year after that.

Yeah. But I forgot about the following year. I just think of you as he also went to Florida won one without Belichick who they all we all love. When you ruined the Super Bowl trophy, did they make you pay anything? No, no, it's actually hanging up in the Patriots Hall of Fame. Actually, we made that, they should pay us because we made that trophy more expensive, Julian and I. He threw the pitch, he threw a knuckleball,

I freaking bonneted it and put the dent in it. So Julian, I'm waiting for our check because people go to the Patriots Hall of Fame, more people do to go see it. To go see it, Exactly so, hey. I want to take that. It's like art, you want some story behind it. I want date money for that, Jules.

And without a doubt, I have the ball of that. We threw it with still. See, that's worth something too. Super Bowl MVP. Pretty amazing. By the way, you know- David interrupts my highlight of his career. Who's the Super Bowl MVP?

Julian was. Yeah. You were? Yeah. He's Mr. Super Bowl. He also led the receivers and yeah, he's had some great Super Bowls. Super Bowl MVP, that's fucking crazy, dude.

Yeah, it was nuts. It's cooler now. Like you didn't really care when it happened. You just, you were happy that it won, but like now that it's over and it's like five years ago, you still get to live off it. Fuck, I would dine on that forever. I tell people I said live from New York at Saturday night.

That's what I used to tell people. Oh yeah. Even though I don't even know if I did, but who cares. Dana said it 200 times. Which one? Live from New York. Hi, I'm Dana. I'm adding to my total, I'm adding to my total right now.

Hey Dana, I meet somebody and they're like, hey, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm a football player. I'm gonna use that for the rest of my life. Yeah, you're right. That's, that's right. You guys are gladiators. You're like rock stars, you know, everyone. I mean, I was talking to Belichick about this

cause I'm the podcast with him. By the way, I did every joke and every impression I can do. I got him helpless. I got that guy laughing his ass off. It's really funny. Did you? Absolutely. Great sense of humor. But when you get him into football,

just even a one question, as you guys would know, it's 20 minutes of intense metrics that, it's pretty amazing to watch his brain go like that. He's just, he'll be back. But yeah, you guys are, you know, the Super Bowl and football, the ratings and the money is so huge globally. It's, it is the sport, you know, the Super Bowl and football, the ratings and the money is so huge globally. It's, it is the sport, you know, Oscars, Emmys, other televised events. It is,

football is it. And it still attracts everybody. And I just wondered about the, the money, the billions that's going in there, is it matriculating to the players? I mean, I think the teams average 400 million each. I mean, you're getting a piece of the television, you're getting the gate. Is it growing, growing, growing, or how do you feel about it as a sport? I mean, it is the-

I think the playoffs are bullshit. I was gonna say that. Like, we get paid for the regular season. Yeah, yeah. It's crazy. When you play in the playoffs in the Super Bowl, you're actually taking a pay cut because what they do is you get your salary divided into 17, you get paid every two weeks.

So you can imagine what that check looks like when you go to the playoffs, you're getting a, you know, you get 20 grand for the first game, you get 30 grams for the second game. When you, when you're looking at the last making in the playoff games with all their,off games with all the viewership and stuff. So we actually get the short end of the stick when it comes to playoff money, but that's also negotiated in our collective bargaining agreement. We get a certain percentage of what the TV contracts and what the league makes, but it never comes down. When you're playing in the playoffs, that's for the love of the game. Now, see, 20 grand is a lot of money, but if you look at your regular game day check

from the regular season, you're putting in more work than what you're doing in the regular season. You're getting paid less. So, when you think about it, playoffs and winning the Super Bowl, I think you get a couple hundred grand, three grand all together. It's still not even a toenail clipping of what the league's making. I didn't even know that at all that you make less.

But it's an overall, Robert, did I read this? Well, technically, it's technically a bonus. Right. So you know, you make your salary and then once the season, regular season's over, you get rewarded. Right. And the ratings are higher though, so. Way higher.

Someone's making more, yeah. And Rob, is it true that you just saved your salary and just lived off endorsements and all the rest? Yeah, yeah, I have, man. It's been great, I can tell you that. It's been great living. And I just, you know, I definitely live by that motto for especially like my first five, six years in the NFL.

Cause you don't know how long you're gonna play for man. NFL stands for not for long. You can average about three years. So I was like, hey, I wanna make sure I'm taken care of if I only play like four, five years in the NFL. So I was living like that just so, you know, I didn't have to worry if I had a short career. So it just stayed with that motto

from there on out ever since because,, you know, it just worked. And how did you, where did you put the money? Is it in cash or did you, I'm just curious. No, investments and everything, all that good stuff. So it's making money as well. Mm-hmm. I'm living off my beer pong winnings right now. Uh, you guys, first of all,

I think we should thank these guys. We've taken enough of their time. Uh, two dudes, we think you're great. Dana, do you have any final questions for them? Yeah. Dudes on dudes. Dudes on dudes. With Gronk and Jules. These two guys.

So, the concept of our show is we basically talk about three different dudes, and we categorize what kind of dude they are. You know, you can get a dog, which is someone who's mentally, physically, emotionally tough. You can be a freak, a one-of-one. You can be you can get fog, which is someone who's mentally, physically, emotionally tough. You can be a freak, a one-of-one. You can be a dudes dude,

which is like a glue guy in the locker room. You could be a stud, someone who has pedigree on everything. And then you can be a whiz, which is someone who's innovative. And I think you guys would be whizzes and glue guys. Oh, okay. So it can apply to comedians too,

not just athletes. It could apply to anything. Dude's not just a guy, dude is a figure of speech. Could we be like beasts? Like be a... Spade's a beast. I don't know if I've heard that. There's five categories. Beast is not one of them. There's actually a... You can either be a freak,

which is kind of a beast of a stud, a wizard dog, or dude, dude, dude, dude, or a dog. I like wrong saying Dana, I don't think you understood the rules. Okay, step east was not one of the choices. Steph Curry go which one is he Steph Curry? Wiz Beast was not one of the choices. Steph Curry, go. Which one is he? Steph Curry. Wiz. Wiz, all right. He changed the game.

He's literally, he's changed NBA basketball. Aaron Rodgers. Ooh. Just got this call. Why are we going back in the heyday in 2010? I would say Aaron Rodgers back in the heyday, man, just an absolute stud, just the way that he can just, like, just bullet those passes with a flick of a wrist.

I mean, you gotta be a stud muffin in order to do that. Are you, is Aaron coming back next year? What do you think he should do? I don't know. I thought the show was over. I thought you were letting us off, David. How is his name pronounced? Savon Barkley, the guy who just ran for 255 yards.

Say Kwan Skum. Say Kwan Barkley. Barkley, say what Barkley? What is he? He's a freak. Okay. He's a monster. I agree, he's a freak. Yeah, he runs. He has legs,. I agree, he's a freak. Yeah, he runs.

And he has legs, they chafe because they're so big. Oh yeah. I have a Google alert whenever they show it. He did a 360 jump over someone like, literally. Oh, I saw that. I saw that. Like that's a fucking freak. This guy's taking it to another level every single week,

which is just fricking incredible. And he is freaky. Freaky is basically someone that you just look at and they look like a specimen. And say, Kwon Barkley, you look at his quads and those are just a specimen quads and just how much he can lift. So that's how we kind of categorize guys as well

is how they perform off the field sometimes, what they look like and just how they play the game. So Herschel Walker. Now you're trying to get us going. I'm going in the nineties. No. Okay. He's a dog. Yeah. He's self motivated. I mean, he didn't win any. They didn't win any Superbowl. He's played with the Oilers and who else? Hershel.

I remember Houston. Houston, yeah. I mean, I would say he's a dog. That dude was so powerful. And there were so many times where he thought he was down and he put his shoulder down and run a guy over, take three guys. Okay, Rob, what's Julian?

Oh, actually we haven't got that part. And Julian, what's Julian? Oh, actually we haven't got that part. And Julian, what's Rob? Oh yeah. Well that comes, that's the mic drop. Oh yeah, okay. Don't give it away. That's the season ender. I would say. We haven't done that yet.

I can't give that away. Come on now. No, don't give it away. I'd say Rob's a freak in a stud, and I'd say I'm freakishly gifted, and Julian is a dog and a wizard and a glue I Like that you can be a combo. Those are just my blanks. I don't know. That's all right. You guys are a lot of combo I like it

Yeah, well, okay. We'll let you go Rob. We promised we love being comboed You guys good luck with your podcast. This is really, really fun. You say it's fun, we're having it. Dana and Spade, every Thursday, a new episode drops, check us out, baby. Hey Spade, are you gonna be at Craigs anytime soon? Are you? I saw these guys, I forgot. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly as executive produced by Dana Carby and David Spade,

Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it. Ooh.