Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY #50 - Prison S*X

Episode Date: January 10, 2025

David and Dana discuss sick servers, fire mismanagement, new Trump impression, communicating with Lorne, prison sex, mom bullies, and ant robots. Shake off the credit hangover. Get your first month for just a dollar at GetKikoff.com/superfly today. Thanks to Kikoff for sponsoring us! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I went down the memory lane on an Airbnb I occupied once and it was, I'll just say it, awesome. It's clean, it was tidy, it was beautiful, it was private, great big kitchen, right next to a forest. What's not to like? David? You checked that box saying I'd like to be near a forest. That's a good thing.

A lot of people like Airbnb because you can do that. You can say, hey, I want a place with a pickleball court, you know, and they can find you on. You can be in town, you can be in the suburbs, you can be in the country. I mean, you can have a pool, you can not have a pool. I mean, the benefits of Airbnb are just the flexibility of it and the locations and privacy,

compared to hotels. Listen, hotels are fine and that's great, but sometimes I think if you get into an Airbnb and you see the convenience and all the things, you don't have to walk by people in the hallway and nod, get on the elevator and talk about the weather. So you realize that it might really be more tailored for you and it turns into the perfect accommodation, whether you're with family,

friends, whatever you're on your own, uh, you know, consider Airbnb for your next adventure. I don't think you'll regret the switch. We're starting. This is, this is big time. This is a real thing. This is the first time on our podcast that David has broadcast from a remote location. Well, wait a minute, you did it for Paul McCartney. Oh yeah, McCartney, we were scrambling in New York to do it in our crummy hotel rooms.

Interview of my life in two hours of tech pressure. God dang it! Darn it! I've probably never been more nervous for an interview. And I see us as equals, me and Paul, so it sort of calmed me down. I have so much regret about everything I do. The last sketch I did on SNL, Sambando, or the...

Hey, Bon Gino! I didn't know what I was doing out there. I just ran off and all I heard was crickets. So that, that tortured, tortured me over the holiday. It's a sickness. And then with Paul McCartney for the last two years, when I think about it, I regret not understanding the idea that I could bring up topics that he couldn't because he's a gentleman. Yes. And so that so that really, you know, do you ever have any kind of regrets about anything?

I've never asked you this. Well, there's, I do all the time, of course, daily, but McCartney, you know, it's hard to ask about Lenin because Lenin died, spoiler, but it's hard to say, hey, because it's so personal. Meanwhile, every interview, anyone asks me about anything personal, they don't care at all.

Right, they want a ruffle of feathers. We just showed respect for him. He showed respect for his bandmates. But if the host, in this case, you and I, brought up something like who did the baseline there and who wrote that middle eight and did you help George with this part or anything like that, in liver liver puddle in terms of like

well I don't want to be a showboat you know yeah I don't want to be a chest slum he's uh he's humble about it he's a gentleman he's a gentleman we should have been you know fluffing his feathers a little bit but I think he's been fluffing I think he got over that podcast yeah he, he's okay with it. One second after he's like, Google those guys. Let me see what I was just doing. All I know is your entertainers. Your entertainers. Anyway, so here we are.

He thought he was on Good Morning America and it was going way long. He thought I was Matt Lauer. I didn't hear. I never knew about the controversy. He thought I was Katie Couric. He's got a great wig, whatever it is, on the top of his skully skull, Miss Scully. By the way, Dana, I think for the first time, viewers, millions of our viewers, should know that I'm doing this, your trick, in front of a window.

I'm not in love with it already, but I always have these trusty shades next to me. Like one time you wore shades. Remember we were doing in the bunker at my house. I used to wear funny hats and shades. That was before the podcast got monetized. Yeah, and then people started to call me. Take it a little serious. That's before it blew up.

But yeah, now I'm looking out the window and I see why it's blinding, but you have good eyes so it's okay. Do I? No one's ever said that to me except my wife. You know someone said to me the other day, I walked in this store, why am I leaning? I walked in this store, just a regular dipshit, whatever, run the mill. I see something in the window, tricked me to go in and

then the lady who's very eclectic, looks a little like Stevie Nicks, she just goes up. She was, I like your look. I like the whole thing. And I go, I never get that, dude. Do you think she knew who you were? I don't think that fast. She was, she was because she didn't say anything and I go, oh, yeah. I don't know. I don't get that.. She was, because she didn't say anything, and I go, oh yeah? I don't get that a lot. She goes, yeah, just, no, I like it. Any itemization here?

Is it the scruff? Is it the hair slicked back? Is it the shades? It was what I was wearing, the shade. I was just really nailing it. And like 10 out of 10. I mean, that's usually what I think, but no one's ever said,

I mean, there's the Kate Spade of the family, mean, that's usually what I think, but no one's ever said, I mean, there's the Kate Spade of the family and then there's the D Spade and I was never that one. Even Kate and Andy would make fun of me. Pop quiz for you, when you preem and primp and all that stuff before you're gonna leave your house for whatever activity, what goes through your head like, or do you ever think to yourself,

I look pretty good today? Yeah, I've had to, I thought that like right now on this camera, I don't look too bad, but for me, that's for me. I think it looks as good as your studio. I mean, yeah, no, I mean, I'm just saying I comb my hair back and I got my hair trimmed the other day, so it's a little shorter in the sides, you know, but the, uh, idea of I look in the mirror, maybe three times a day. I was trying to know? But the idea of, I look in the mirror maybe three times a day.

I was trying to think of it the other day. I don't, unless I comb my hair because I have to see myself, I don't look before I go out at night. I don't do any of that stuff. And I should, but sometimes it's not what I'm looking for when I see the answer. There's your emotional brain and your logical brain.

If you're a wrestler with someone and you go use the restroom and you look in the mirror and you do a little readjusting your hair, you know that no human being on earth would notice any difference except you. Right. And you know what you look at that you think is rough. But so anyway, I do find a way to get out of the house and this sweater is totally Kanye. Can you see? I have so many holes in it because the moths fucking went at it and I grabbed the wrong one. What? You have moths in your unconscious.

It's all holes, see that? So I walk in there and I go, what are you doing moths? They're like, nothing, we didn't do anything. This is casual. Hey, you should go on SNL and dress up as a moth

like Sarah Jones. Oh, and go do a fucking update. And eat Colin D'Quinn's suit, or Colin, no, Quinn. Colin Joe's, sorry. And now we're gonna hear from a spade's moth that lives in his closet, and I come out, I'm fucking stuffed. And you're all got little feathers.

Yep. Do they have feathers? Well, I don't know what they got, but I'm just saying. Oh, yeah, they do. Someone's got booked for the 50th. I'm texting Lauren right now I'd say I know we're trying to make the show. We're trying to keep it to seven and a half hours Spade wants to do moth guy Ma we can put a light and I go there's a light gotta go

It's a clever thing that Bowen started I think or lit it up with his iceberg character, Titanic thing. And then it, Sarah's got her stuff and then he did the drone and he's done, he's done other things. So I think you as a moth, I'm just going to make a note to self. I will have, I have a question for you, Dana. Obviously I'm going to jump around here. Obviously what we do on a flight, you don't like people hacking and coughing. I'm going to say yes. I was in a restaurant the other day, sitting in a six-top lingo. I have to know this because of the Busboys movement. Six-top, you know.

I can consult on the movement. By the way, you can use this. We didn't call ourselves Busboys because we wanted to get girlfriends. So what do you do? I'm a table maintenance personnel manager. Jesus, administrator. That's good. Table maintenance personnel manager. Fred Wolf used to say, people, yeah, he says I'm a dishwasher.

So if girls say, are you a dishwasher? They go, what are you doing? He goes, I'm the chairman of IBM. Okay, that's another. That sounds goes, I'm the chairman of IBM. Okay, that's another. I said, it sounds better. It's another way to go. So I go in and there was a sick person the week before.

Fine. I go in and sit at a six top, it's early. And I always sit there. And then the waitress comes up and she's like, they're all very nice. Let's just start. This is just for entertainment purposes. Yeah.

Like full death bed. And I'm like, hey. And she's like, I can't, you know what? I'm not gonna take your order. I'm probably just gonna get out of here. And I go, great idea. You know, because nobody wants to get sick. I would love to say, you know what?

I can't get sick. I'm starting this movie. You don't have to, nobody wants to get sick. So would love to say, you know what, I can't get sick. I'm starting this movie. You don't have to, nobody wants to get sick. So I shouldn't even have to say that. I just go, yeah, that's probably the best idea. And she goes, ah, yeah, I feel like shit. Still air coming out. So I'm like, okay.

And then she goes, it's actually started last night. I was feeling so bad. I'm like, this is a wrap. We know, I 100% believe you. And then she goes, I'm actually gonna talk to the manager, see if I can just so bad. I'm like, this is a rap. We know, I 100% believe you. And then she goes, I'm actually gonna talk to the manager, see if I can just punch out. And I go, I'll call corporate, just go. We'll figure this out on the way home.

Cause it's all, you know, there's dust from COVID in the, I can feel it. You know, there's Omnicrons big enough so you can almost see them with your eye. So she leaves. She goes in the back. Another waiter comes up. No.

Another waiter. I know, but. Hey, man. I go, hey, is she okay? She's feeling bad. He goes, yeah, she actually left the other day. She was feeling bad. I'm like, oh, she's back.

Okay. So I go, great. All right. Let's order up. And he goes, to be honest, I'm not feeling a thousand percent. Jeez. A thousand percent either. I'm like, so I hustled through my order. Then I go talk to my buddy there. And then I, and then when I look back, they go, foods here.

I look back and the waitress sat kitty corner for me at that table. And then when I look back, they go, food's here. I look back and the waitress sat kitty corner for me at that table. So I go. Wait a minute, is she dressed? I mean, she took off her, I mean, she's- Took off her apron and now she's just- She's just joining you?

She's probably looking for a ventilator. She's so sick that I wanna just take a small, propane flamethrower and just cover the table just to kill some of it, you know. But she sits and then I go and I sit, because I sit in front of my breakfast, I don't know what to do to be rude, all that's about not being an asshole. And the craziest part of me is that I sit there,

aim straight ahead and she's like, woof, ah, ah, ah, sweat, woof, hitting the table and I'm like, sweat hitting the table. And I'm like, it's good. It's sickening and just full on like writing out her will.

And then she, after about four solid minutes of silence, she goes. You don't mind if I sit here to you. I go, not at all. Why am I a psycho? I go, not at all. Well, I'm just saying you have to and just promise me you will stop eating at Denny's.

This is clearly Denny's. It's a perfectly fine place. I told her, promise me you're not going to leave. I'm so overly nice. Dana, you're like this too. You're overly nice and you're like, no, there's nothing you're doing that bothers me. Please stay and get better. Just stay here throughout your sickness and

get better. Well, did she at least do six feet away? I mean, what are we talking here? Like a two footer? She was probably three and a half feet. But then I'm like, I hear some noise. I'm like, oh, I guess that's you're being chopper out of here. Get the fuck. I got cocky because I don't think I had a cold for a year. And then everyone at SNL has got a cold and I got cocky. I actually thought to myself, yeah, I don't get colds. I don't know what's wrong. When you were doing SNL, just, you know, everyone's called. I just don't, it's not invincible. It's not my thing. It's not my

brand. It's not who I am. I don't get colds. Next morning, razor blade. Razor blade every time you swallow is not a good way to get a good slumber spittle spadal. When you catch yourself swallowing and then you swallow again and it hurts you go, Oh no, I can't stop swallowing. That's the grossest feeling. Like, well you try to go, well, I was yelling last night at David Spade, you know, just tearing him a new one about the podcast.

Give me your notes from Hunter Biden who are just like screams. You're like great stuff. We slammed the door here. What are you doing out there? You call yourself Hunter Biden? You ain't a hunter and you're biding your time. Stardom. No, you crushed it.

Tom Hanks told me specifically, isolated me. You ain't a hunter and you're biding your time. Stardom. No, you crushed it. Tom Hanks told me specifically, isolated me. He said very nice things about you're a hunter Biden and he's probably the greatest actor in our generation. So it's high praise from that dude. Also when I left the restaurant that day, of course, I went around the corner and took a Silkwood shower. Like Meryl Streep. When she went through the nuclear power plant.

You're like a permanent meme. All your expressions and the sound effect. You're like just a series of memes. We got to get a cartoon caricature of you and make these memes. And I'm in the shower. You see David's age. Well, do you remember Silkwood? This is aging our audience, but.

Of course, Cher, Meryl Streep. What happens to Meryl Streep? There's a leak of the radiation? They're trying to do the China syndrome, didn't quite make it. Yeah, but yeah. Fucking without fucking Jane Fondo. Without the syndrome, without Janey Fondo

and her sleeveless top. I don't know what that means. Showing her cleavage. No, that's a better word. So what are we doing with Meryl Streep and Cher? Do we have any connection here to the podcast? I was saying that when she got a rip or something in her outfit, and they said she might have gotten radiation, they go, come here for a second, two seconds, strip down,

and they put her in the shower and scrubbed her with steel wool or something. And she was screaming. And that reminded me of me leaving the restaurant. Radiation is actually maybe not that bad for you. It was kind of exaggerated. We get radiation all the time. Because the next day I went in, I go, what was wrong with that lady? They go, oh, she had bad radiation. I go, oh, Dana said that's fine. Again, you're like a meme staring at something you don't want to see.

Give me the look. Oh no, that's more funny. Serious. That's cool. Also, Dana, we were talking about, oh, there's a big fire in LA and we can't make light of it. It's actually a thousand percent terrifying because we're doing this the day before. So we don't know where the fire is now, but it's very bad.

And my big thing about it is Heather can look this up. Is there no water in the fire hydrants? Is that even possible? I know they can't fly over because the wind, they will be probably maybe by tonight or tomorrow, but there's no truck. It's like, how do you even try to stop it without dropping the stuff? They went to fire hydrants and some of them had no water. Why is that? I don't understand what's going on.

I would need more information to have a strong opinion, but it seems like, you know, kind of a trying to suppress water or something. I don't know. I don't know. If a fire hydrant has no water, what is it? Former LA water commissioner says mismanagement led to low hydrant levels. They ran out in the Palisades. They ran out in the Palisades. So some human beings, what's your job? Oh, I work for the water department. What is it? To make sure all the fire hires are full in LA. How you doing?

Just got fired. I just got fired because I haven't really even checked on them because there's not that many fires. I knew they were pretty full, but I was tired. I heard that, I just read, obviously everything I say is a lie, but I read that they had to cut budget last year and they did cut maybe 16 million, whatever that means in the grand scheme of things from the fire department. Now, if there has been horrible fires, I mean, they got to weigh it all out in fairness. Not a good look for the biggest fire of this world.

We're the most fire heavy place in the world. High winds and the sparking towers made in 1870. I mean, the idea of, it's called essential services. Fire department, police department. I mean, there's more, but those are the big two. Garbage. Yeah, but you would survive garbage sitting on your sidewalk. But fire department, police department, I'm just going to say, I'm going to call bullshit on that funding if that's

true. And by the way, I'm running for LA County supervisor. Jeez Louise, Steve McQueen just walked into the podcast. David put on his superstar shades. I put on my Dana shades, too bright. Now, Dana, let's move on from the fire because it's too tragic to even talk about. It's probably the worst fire ever. I've been there and it's only been two. Oh, no, no, no. It's horrible. That's all we're saying is that we, we're in show business,

so we know a few of these people that are being affected. And it's also true in California, it is sometimes almost impossible to get home insurance because a lot of the companies left. And so that's a double whammy if your house is going up and you don't have insurance. So anyway, And I think Florida is having the same problem with hurricane insurance. Like any insurance where the insurance tax actually pay you, then they go away. Whoa. I know someone who lives there and his insurance, home insurance tripled because two hurricanes hit

within two years. So, you know, what can I say? Okay, Dana, anything else before we get to the news? And well, I just wanted to observe a few funny things because I'm watching new Trump, new Trump. That was good last week. And some of his phrases are like this. Nobody's ever seen it.

Nobody's ever seen anything like it before. Nobody's ever seen it. No one's seen a case like that. They never done it before. And all they do, and this is when he says talk, he makes a very specific mouth, which I'll do for our listeners and viewers. They've never seen it before. They've never seen anything like it. They never have. It's never happened before. Quite frankly, all they do is talk. All they do is talk. All they do telling you all they do is talk.

They just talk about a meme. They just talk. It's that far. They talk, they talk, they just talk. Then he goes back normal. I don't know what they're doing, but all they do is talk. They talk. Then he goes back normal. I don't know what they're doing, but all they do is talk. It does go. It's kind of when he went, China. That's right. They go China. They go, they've never seen it and they're doing things you

wouldn't believe. And all they do, by the way, all they do is talk. They're all talk and no action. And this is the only time he makes this specific lips like this. All talk, no action. All talk, no action. I'm trying to get Patrick, our editor, different angles. It's funny. It's like that old song. All they do to me is talk, talk.

Talk, talk. Remember talk, talk? All they do, and we're looking at things, and we're seeing things, and all they do is talk. He's trying to say tick, talk. Remember, talk, talk. All they do, and we're looking at things, and we're seeing things, and all they do is talk. He's trying to say, tick, talk. All they do is talk. They talk, and they talk, and they never stop talking. When you see the smells.

He took the L for sure. I like the mouth, yeah. All right. Now, I have Trump. The other funny thing is- We don't need anything else. That's unreal. Trump is so entertaining, I have to say. If you're not panicked by him, he's just fucking funny.

I mean, he's coming out now. He wants Panama Canal. He wants Greenland. He's taking over. Yeah, that's great. We're going to take over Greenland. We're taking over Greenland. We're going to take it over. We're going to call it Even More America. That's the new name of that place. Even More America. Even More America. We're taking over the Panama Canal. We're going to take it because we built it. We built it and all they do is talk. Oh, talk. We're going to call it USA Super Canal.

We're taking over Tahiti and Bora Bora. Tahiti and Bora Bora. This is not talk, it's not talk. We're taking over Tahiti and Bora. We're calling it the beautiful American islands. And by the way, Canada is now, we're taking them over. It's gonna be called Amerida. We'll call it an Amerida. It's Amerida, Canada, Amerida. Yeah, maybe super America up there.

It never made any sense. We've got Alaska up there, then we've got a shit ton of Canada, then we've got America. We're just trying to- Too much Canada between here and Alaska, right? It's like if Florida was another country, it's like a thumb hanging off America, but it's ours. It's totally ours. You know, Ponce de Leon, Ponce de Leon.

You remember him? A lot of people talk about Ponce de Leon. Look at the Fountain of Youth in Canada, but all they do is talk. All they do is talk. That's my new toy today. It's all they do. It's talk.

I like it. He did it. We can cut this. He did a 20 minute rant on electric heaters versus gas heaters. You know what Biden was, what they want. They want electric heaters. You get them. They don't work very well. You get itchy. Quite frankly, you get itchy with electric. The gas is better. It looks better. It heats

you up like you wouldn't believe. And they're canceling water. They're making dishwashers that don't have any water. You put your stuff in there. It comes out. It's not clean. You got to run it 10 times and you end up using more water. By the way, to our audience, these are direct quotes. The dishwashers, the washers, they don't have a lot of water. They're worried about water, even the way of places it's coming down from heaven

where they have so much water. They wanna stop the water in your washer, you wash your clothes, they come out with their dirty, you gotta do it 10, 20 times, 10 to a more water. And all they do is talk. I will say if California has to do electric cars by 2030, I'm not ready. I'm not throwing away my cars

because just during this fire, a lot of electricity is out. So now where are you? Well, we go electric and then gas and energy prices go down because we're not using any of it. And then the CO2 goes up. There's a thousand metrics into this idea of the planet warming. Let's talk about it, people,

rather than just do things emotionally. I like my hybrid, sorry. You just talk. They talk, that's all they do is talk. Let's gotta start them up again. And no one's ever seen it. No one's ever seen anything like this. No one's ever seen it.

No one's ever seen it. And all they do is talk. It has to be the trend. Mar-a-Lago, we have a lot of dirty dishes. And I had one more thing I was gonna do because I had so much fun. Dirty dishes. The last SNL, a lot of our friends were

there, Tina and everybody. But I hadn't seen Jimmy Fallon in a while. So the minute I see him, he's like, so much fun. And it's such an upper. He goes, hey, this is crazy. Dana Kirby. Oh, what's going on, Dana Kirby? Hey, so I start doing Johnny Carson getting pulled over for drunk driving. You know, sorry, officer. I didn't know I was swerving. I had two slippery monkeys at the hook and crook and Jimmy blew a gasket like his head of blood. Oh my God.

Oh, it's so funny. Johnny Carson pull over and he's talking to Tom Hanks. Johnny Carson pulled over, drunk driving. Hey, I had a tomato. Boom, boom. The desperate sponge hitting the car. Me. All they do is, all they do is talk. Keep going.

You got it. Anyway, I just had so much fun. So here's Jimmy Fallon getting, gets a, gets the check in a restaurant. I'll take a check. Oh my God. This is insane. Look at this check. Oh my God, this is insane. Look at this check. Oh my God, is that in my mouth?

I can't believe it, this is insane. That's it. That's it. That's it. It's a little wistful, but I like it. Well, I took it really far, so. Da da da da da da. All right, we have six minutes.

Well, no, I have to say that the pickup on last week's show, every week they pick some on last week's show, every week they pick some article up about the show. Because of some crazy stuff you said, what got picked up? Yeah, I didn't read the article because I just thought it was about that we said, I can't believe people text Lorne. Because I couldn't. Right.

But it was nothing negative. I'm like, I wish I could have gotten to Lorne. It was like, that ninth floor door is shut, you're not talking to him. You know what I mean? You have to get an appointment. Well, I saw that and I thought about it later and what we didn't have, to call Lauren,

we'd have to go to her office, dial nine, get a landline number. See? It's fun. Oh, hello. Hi, Lauren, it's Dana. I'm in my office. Eight, six. Lauren's not here right now.

Leave a message. Lauren's not here right now. Let me give you to Marcy. Hi, it's Marcy. Yeah. So I felt like it sounded like I was being negative that I was making fun of, I didn't see this part till today, that in that meeting between dress and air that Lauren is talking and he told Sarah Sherman, I just love making fun of Sarah and air that Lauren is talking and he told

Sarah Sherman, I just love making fun of Sarah Sherman. And she goes, and he goes, Sarah, you have to face forward a little more just so the light hits you. She goes, I'll try. I'll try. It was funny. Sarah's, her charm is that she just says what's on her mind and she's very open, you know? She's hilarious. And she just says what's on her mind and she's very open. You know, and he's hilarious.

And so I could see the way she would be casual with Lauren would just sort of work. Like why did you? Yeah. Okay. Well, all right. But I think that we were in those early days, maybe. I don't know. We just weren't as familiar with Lauren. Lauren was our boss, the executive producer,

the guy who started Saturday Night Live. And so I think for a few, it took me a while to get comfortable with Lauren because the way I really got to know Lauren, maybe you could chime in on this, is when you go back and you host, and then you're kind of hanging out with Lauren a lot as a host.

It's a different thing. And you're seeing how he's just casually always producing. It's just put over there. Maybe he put, let's move this. I think the cold opening is fine. All I'm saying is, and so you realize, and also when you see him on the floor, And so you realize, and also when you see him on the floor, you know, the guy is, he, he cares about that show. First of all, he's so freaking happy when the show works, or the cold opening works. And if it's starting to go sideways, this is why no one else does

live comedy sketch because it's so fucking hard. So anyway, you get to know Lauren, but the idea that Sarah has it already, and is sort of friendly with him. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you get to know Lauren, but the idea that Sarah has it already in a sort of friendly way. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, did you ever walk by Lauren and see him in the hallway and go, Hey, Lauren, I'm going to Huxley's. You want me to grab you a tuna melt? Actually, why don't you come with me? Yeah. Come with you? What? Lauren, we're going to the comedy strip. Come on, man. Marcy would tackle me. Yeah. She could too. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

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Enjoy the new spinach and feta savory egg pastry or our roasted red pepper and Swiss pinwheel starting at only $2.99 plus tax. Try one or try our full Tim Selex lineup. Terms apply. Prices may vary at participating restaurants in Canada. Well, it's January, Dana. I don't know if you have checked the calendar, but. I don't check the calendar, but I just sense the holidays are over. The hustle and the bustle and the rustle and the, the whole, the jerky and the trees and the Santa and

the blah, blah, blah. It's over. But it's over. Yes. It's now time to recover. Think a little bit, you know, after all that holiday spending, you know, you are. It's a hangover for your credit. That's right. Yeah. You got to get back on track in 2025. Yep. This is the year. Start building. Build your credit with kickoff.

You know what kickoff is. It's one of our sponsors. Kickoff. You know what Kickoff is, one of our sponsors. The number one credit building app in the App Store, that Kickoff? Okay. Their plan starts at just $5 a month. There's no credit check. Get out of town and hold the phone. $5 a month to get started? No hidden fees, no interest.

Not too shabby. That's the key is credit, building credit. Because without credit, you're in a tough spot. Kickoff helps you build that credit. Let's say you want to get a car this year, you want to do anything that involves credit, lower level, bigger scale. You got to build it up. You got to start somewhere. Right. And so this way, it always seems overwhelming. How do I do it? And kickoff kinda starts you slow and then slowly but surely you can get up.

Let's say your credit, I don't know what yours is, Dana, let's say it's 600, right? You could jump 28 points in the first month. Wow. And that's noticeable. It goes, man. That's a chunk. Kickoff is smart.

It's a legit credit hack with no catch. Do you know what I'm saying? No credit check, no hidden fees, no interest. Hello? You start building credit immediately for only $1 your first month? Now that is, that just says that everyone That's the smallest amount.

can engage with kickoff. $1 a month, it just builds slowly. You know what compounding is, David? How things go over time. We'll talk later. By the way, in the App Store, it has over 100,000 positive reviews. Wow, 98% are five stars, sounds familiar.

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www.getkickoff.com.au www.getkickoff.com.au www.getkickoff.com.au www.getkickoff.com.au www.getkickoff.com.au www.getkickoff.com.au www.getkickoff.com.au changes for kickoff users starting under 600 who made their first on-time payment between January 2021 and March 2024. Payment and credit activity outside kickoff can have an impact on your credit. Individual results may vary. Okay, all right. Let's get back to really important things. What are our dumb stories we're talking about? Let's get some headlines going. My forehead looks the same color as the wall behind me. I guess that's. That's a funny observation and true.

They mix together. It's not good or bad. Look at that, Heather. You see my forehead looks the same color as the wall. Okay, people driving. Prison officer filmed having sex with inmate admits another incident on the same day. And this is a female prison officer?

The officer is the guy or the girl, let me see. That's on channel. OnlyFans model. Oh, so she's a prison officer and an OnlyFans model. Wait, she was jailed after, oh, she's the officer. You can tell we don't look at these ahead of time folks. No, that's good. We don't.

That's true. Okay. So she caught on her body cam. What are you? What? I'm not saying the word dipshit, but you, I mean, she knows she's doing it. Does she air that as part of her only fans? I'm sure.

I mean, why else? That and you're going to get caught. There's been a lot of prison movies. I think Ben Stiller did one about female police officers having sex with inmates. So now it's a true story. Listen, I'm not, I'm fine with it. Hey, scroll down a little bit because I want to read that. It says, it's a true story. Listen, I'm fine with it. Hey, scroll down a little bit because I want to read that. It says, it's a funny word,

prison officer filmed having sex with a burglar in his prison cell. Why are they so specific? Lies, lies. Who calls anyone a burglar anymore? Well, first of all, that's a pretty, I mean, it's awful if you're a burglar, but that means that someone trying to get into a house

without hurting anybody and just get the freak out. Is that what it means? I think a burglar is just sort of trying to sneak in and sneak out. Your house is burgled? Yeah. What's the ham burglar? They would do it if like, say you were not in your house right now and you're at a other

location, it'd be a perfect time for someone to burglar. Oh, forget, sorry, I brought that up. Yeah, I've been burgled. That's a word. That would be you've been burgled. Yeah. Well, as we said, the Hamburglar, I never saw him actually in jail. He was always out on parole. My forehead is exactly the color and now it's the sheets. No, it was like Heather took, was painting the wall and just happened to slap your forehead. Patrick will do it. Make it a little less so because Dana looks like he's got some color in his face.

You can darken your editing. No, but look, I want to... Now it's going to ruin the editing. Well, I have different... Oh, yeah. I'm facing a window. I have ring lights. I'm going to wait for editing.

Ring lights that have color. We look pretty good. No one's gonna notice this bullshit. We'll do a new story. Oh God. You look fantastic. Everyone's running fucking like a chicken with their head cut off

because I moved the curtain two inches. Anyway. Like Woody Allen came out for a second. Please. Do me a throw the earth off its axis. OK, what's next? My forehead's the color of the the Ramada in. Please rent an ad on my forehead for fly on the wall.

Also super fly. It's all available. What is this? Oh, hang on. Oh, this is a different OnlyFans girl saying how much the one we did a report on actually makes. Okay.

Let's see if it's shocking or not. What is Sophie Reign really making? Too much is the answer, by the way. From an OF girl myself. I know we've all seen the image of her making $43 million in a year, which is insane. But this is the gross number

and a lot of things are gonna be coming out of this. For example, right off the top, OnlyFans is gonna be taking 20%. So that's 43 million drops to 34.4 million. Now somebody of her caliber definitely has an agency to help with marketing and posting. This agency also takes a percentage and agencies in general take a percentage of anywhere from 15% to all the way up to 60%. What? 60?

It's not going to grab something right in the middle. 35%. Now it drops her income down to 22.4 million. And then nobody is exempt. We all have to pay taxes. Oh yeah, welcome to the club. So if you're based in Florida and you're making over a million dollars a year, in here. Your average tax percentage should be around 35%. We take 35% off of the 22 million. And now we are all the way down to $14.5 million take home, which is still a huge amount of money. Yeah, no shit. All right. First of all, you want to be an agent in that story up to 60%. They start with 60 and then if people go, I'm sorry, what?

They go, no, I'm saying 50. And then they grind them down to what? 15, was it? Well, she's got 14 million net, net, net. That's pretty good. How embarrassing. I know, but still. 14 mil? 14 million net, net, net. That's pretty good. How embarrassing. I know, but still.

14 mil? That's like literally zero for an OnlyFans model. But did you hear, and we can probably look this up, another one of my lies, that I heard the average OnlyFan girl makes about a thousand a month. That makes sense. That makes more sense, right?

Because not everyone has a huge audience. You could say, I'm taking off my clothes. Hey everybody. You have to let your followers know. And if you don't, then you're a... Okay. Oh. Wow.

We're getting a news flash that you get 150, 180 per month. Most. Most. Only fans. Wow. 2000 a year? That's the tough decision.

Cause you only hear these stories of how great it is. Now you're high profile. If you're dancing in a G string and you're making $150 a month, then you got to check what's going on with your person. I mean, what is that? Yeah. I mean, it's still money, but it just, you got to weigh it out. I guess.

It is true. I remember Jay Leno telling still money, but it just, you gotta weigh it out, I guess. That's stopping me from- It is true. I remember Jay Leno telling me once, yeah, and that's why we get paid, we get paid a lot of money, because after they take everything, you still got a pretty good check. You know? Yeah, I mean, there's some things you still don't get.

It's still, at this point, if you go to Jimmy Fallon, what do you make? 780 bucks? Well, it's the exposure. That's his union. That wasn't the question, sir, on the stand. Lady Gaga got 17 million for five minutes on Colbert's show. She just has that kind of clout.

Wait, why am I getting 780? Or whatever it's like. I don't know. OnlyFans is a fascinating thing and we should, we should, Ford, just because Superfly, this is for Sophie, let's get, let's get a, you know, an OnlyFans. We'll get that Sophie rain on it.

Yeah, that's doing well and just really think of it as it grosses like six, eight billion a year. It's bigger than, you know, the NBA salary. It's all combined, right? It's bigger than US Steel. Yeah. I don't know that movie. I'm too young. Godfather and US Steel is a big controversy. A Japanese steel company wants to merge with US Steel. And some people say it's a great deal for both. It'll give us a steel industry. And then some people say we should keep US Steel separate from our friends. From China.

China. Right now, they're talking about it. They're talking a lot, but it's all talk. It's all talk. That's all it is. Now let me chase you. I hate that talk is such an easy one to get back to. China, this merger is just talk right now.

It's just talk. They're just talk. They've never seen it. We've never seen it. He's talking about the lawsuits. They've never seen it before. They've never seen it. Who's seen Greenland?

Who's going up there for a vacation? It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. By the way, it's got oil, natural gas, and rare minerals. And you can take a ship. We have an air base there. But there's only 57,000 people there. And they also sell fish to Denmark.

They don't, you gotta bring in the big boys for all the oil, gas, and minerals. So that's why Trump will get the rare minerals. The reason they're rare is because you don't see them a lot. That's a very underused word, rare minerals. You got to have them. China has a lot of them. But right now, it's all talk.

Trump goes up there to sort of shake hands and say, hey, what's this? A large mouthed lunker bass? What do you got here? He was trying to like blend in with the locals to pitch the sale. Yeah, I know. Trump Jr. just went in and just hung out. He just hung out.

But the thing is, those people make an average newsflash, 36,000 a year for the average Greenland human being. So Trump will say, we'll give you a million a year each to make it- You can also buy a cow for a nickel up there. To make it, what did I call it? Even more America. Even more America is our latest acquisition. That would be the biggest state probably, Greenland, because it's three times as big

as Texas. Is it? It's 80% covered in ice. The reason it's called Greenland is when the Vikings and the Danes went in there, it was all green and lush. So if it melts, we may see some- So is my wife. That's what you should say if you're Henny Youngman.

It's 80% covered in ice, so is my wife. There you go, that's a good one. It was a hair late. No, let's do it officially so Patrick can clip it. Okay, ready? Go. Greenland is covered 80% in ice. Yeah, so is my wife. Well, that sounded too sincere. So is my wife. You almost want to... I should have done. Use the other, so is my wife, Patrick. We'll. So is my wife. You almost want to- I should've done, use the other, so is my wife Patrick. We'll see what that looks like.

Okay, next story. Here we go. We're doing good. We're doing good. All right, here we are. Look at this. Oh, Teen finds out anonymous internet bully who harassed her for a year is her own mom. Whoa. Mount Pleasant, Michigan.

I'm from Michigan. This is the one that has like the music behind it. It goes, scary music. I was doing a Mission Impossible sub theme. Oh, you were? Sorry, I stepped on it. Whee, whee, whee, whee, whee, whee, whee. That's Mission Impossible? Whee, whee, whee, whee, whee, whee.

That's Popeye. I lost it. Whee, whee, whee, whee, whee, whee, whee. Whee, whee, whee, whee, whee. I'm stoned to the finish, cause I ate my spoon. Yeah, that's it. And all of it is whole talk.

Whee, whee, whee, whee, whee. Gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. I was not expecting that. I know. It's just, if I get hand claps from David Spade. I like that one. That was a good one. Blegh. You know, um, you know, uh, Popeye. I'm like your waitress now.

Speaking of Popeye. Yeah. That goes public domain, more fishy fucking guesses on my part. Public domain like Mickey Mouse and Winnie the Pooh. So they're gonna make a horror movie about it. I don't know. But they can't use spinach.

I heard that too. This all sounds like a lie. Oh, mash up Popeye in a horror movie. Yeah, like make Popeye, I'm gonna, I hate olive oil. Then D stabs her and he's like, oh, I'm not a great guy after all. I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. And then what's his name?

Wimpy comes in, I'll gladly stab you tomorrow if I can stab you today. For a hamburger today? Yeah. For a hamburger. Wimpy's like on drugs. He was adding nothing, but I did always laugh when he'd say that. I'm like, like even in a comic strip, I laugh.

I'll gladly pay you tomorrow for a comic strip, I laugh. Like, why am I laughing? I'll gladly pay you tomorrow for a hamburger today is brilliant. Tuesday. That's like, hear me now and believe me later. Listen to me. Hear me now and believe me later.

I like how we don't even talk about the mom who's, I guess it's just sort of discipline, right? I assume she, it's parenting in her mind. Yes. Not in mine. That's rough. It depends on how rough she got. I like they make the kid look like they're in squid game

for some reason in this photo. Yeah, if your kid is dressed like that, which is this death mask and a pink jacket with a hood on, you maybe want to harass him online just to get him to take off the mask. Unless that's just to hide his identity. You were chopping. You're being choppy, but we got it. Patrick's got it. Okay, let's go to one more.

Oh, we got time. What time is it? We always say one more. We got time. People are too riveted. They're on the edge of their seat during this. The edge of their car seat. What's this? What kind of scene? Oh, this is funny. Okay, this is a woman from America seeing Big Ben.

As you know, Big Ben is a big clock in London. I don't know if it's in Piccadilly Square, but this woman sees it. This is the reaction I would figure also Dana having too. But then some kid gives a summary. So watch her and then watch the kid's summary. All right. Hey now, hey now, this is.

Stand up right now, fucking stand up. Why the hell was she crying over a clock? I've lived in the UK and London for eight years and I've seen this every single time and if I was even in America I would not start going on the floor Big Ben done what's Big Ben done for you as he does he cleans your ass is he a made it He has is he done as he over your floor. No, he's not. He's a clock bluff He's a big massive clock that lives in the middle of London. Why are you crying over a fucking clock?

So that's her mother. So that's just some chick on TikTok. And it's just OK. So that that kid seems like she's 37 years old. Not visually. She looks eight, but it's like extremely mature. Why would you cry over a clock, mother? Why are you falling on the ground? It's a fucking clock.

If you saw a human being who was over six feet tall, would you sob? Look how tall they are. It's stupid. Yeah, cry. Cry over things that are lost. I'm going to follow this lady around and see what she's crying over every day. Anything that's bigger than normal. She got a giant hamburger and sobbed for two hours. Larger than the regular hamburger. Don't let her near Randy's donuts. The donuts on the outside are so large.

She broke down in tears and had to be taken away by an EMT squad. Number one. Dana's choppy. I'm choppy, you're blurry. Break the tie, Greg. I'm blurry? Well... Oh it is? Don't you fucking dare blame me. It's blurry and choppy.

That should be our show. By the way, this hotel graciously said, we'll give you some dog shit Internet that nobody you know what I did for our friend Paul McCartney. Going full circle, I went to the four seasons way up in the mountains because the Wi-Fi was sketchy down and right up. I can hear and see you terrific. Thank you for traveling to a better hotel. Well, at least you saved a couple of bucks on the hotel.

I mean, I can tell it's a cheap. I met a nice hotel, but I, we went and said, we don't want the regular internet. Where's the back door special. And so they're like, here we go. Ding. Uh, so this is the good stuff. Oh, you thought you got good. Oh, okay, gotcha.

Bastards. Yeah, no, we vetted this whole thing because I knew if I'm on the road, I gotta make sure we could do this and nail it and make it a thousand percent because all of our millions of views, they freak out. What's gonna happen, Greg? You know, it's not perfection. Oh, here's another story. Okay, I just thought this was interesting. percent because all of our millions of views they freak out. What's gonna happen, Greg?

Oh, here's another story. Okay, I just thought this was interesting. Okay. This isn't great. This isn't hilarious. I was thinking I could watch this for now. How is rubber made from rubber tree? How do you harvest rubber? I like that scrape noise. It's a specific tool. We never think of doing it like this. Very straight lines. Yeah. Freehand. What's that? I like this little instrument. That's me with my toenails at night. Is that the actual rubber that's coming off?

I would never think this tree was a rubber tree. I Think was some dumb shit tree Run in the mill bucket. Oh Look everybody. Oh say just made a little tap and then here comes it and then it kind of is that a Wowee That's what rubber looks like coming right out. That's what it sounds like. I Don't like the water part. God, get a grip on it, dude. Relax.

Rubber trees really were named properly. That's a lot of work. They don't do anything with it. Collecting rubber. You're not making a tire out of that. Why are they black? They don't do anything with it. No, but that was a rubber tree. Go, if you're driving, go look at YouTube around 45 minutes and you'll see it. It's fascinating. That was kind of cool. It was cool. Very light tapping. An angle. Scraping and then a funnel. So some of it came out

kind of watery and then it coalesced into a big thing. I think it's like sap. Coalesced, he said. YouTube's gonna light up over that one. Like a blob. What do you mean, the keelah and the bee? Okay, what's the next thing? What's that?

Human deaths caused by animals. Okay, Heather, pay attention. This is interesting. This is gonna tell us what, it's kinda like the running thing we did. What animals and how many deaths do they cause per year in order? We're starting at the lowest.

So bats, bears, okay, I bought, sharks, I get it. Mooses more than sharks. Spiders. Wolves. Cows! Cows, yeah. Horses even more.

Lions and leopards make sense. Ants, Dana! Bees. Bees, cause allergic. Hush. Jellyfish. Jellyfish, okay. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger that far ahead of shark.

Deers ahead of tigers. Hippopotamus way up there. Elephant killing us. Tapeworms. Crocodiles. Never liked them. Scorpions. Scorpions.

Wow. And what's the... Tee-Tee flies. And then assassin bug, snails. Snails kill us. Dogs number way above everyone else. Snakes. Wow.

Humans killing other humans. 430,000. That's the big panel. Mosquitoes above humans. But Titsy fly, where is that in Africa? I've heard of them. It's in Titsy, the land of Titsi. You fly over it.

I don't know, it's Africa, I think. I think it's that, or Southeast Asia. Communical disease carriers. What about, okay, shocking on that was cows. Cows are so high. But why do cows, how do cows kill you? Because I'm around cows a lot and they don't want anything to do with me.

Oh, I'd be scared. Oh, you know, if you add a bull, that's different. If you have female cows, the bulls will attack. Yeah. Oh, cause if you're flirting with a, Yeah. With one of their. Okay, and then toward the end, hippopotamus,

there's not that many, are there? 20 to 25 deaths occur each year from cattle. Uh-huh. Involves the bulls. There it is. Yeah. Oh, multiple. So I'm not around bulls. No. Multiple cows are involved in most attacks. And it's bulls with horns and shit and they want to fuck you up. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Well, I thought, who else was on that list that was really odd? It's bulls with horns and shit and they want to fuck you up. Yeah. Mm hmm. Well, well, I thought who else was on that list that was really odd? Alice didn't make it for the third year in a row. One thing they left out was who kills more humans than any anyone else. And then there would say David Spade because you kill your audience as a stand up. Sorry. David Spade was you kill your audience as a standup. Sorry. Long way to go. David Spade was a killer last night.

Oh, you killed him. Hey Heather, turn this light up a little bit more so it doesn't match. For the only reason so it won't match. So we have 30 seconds to go and now you're doing a lighting design? There you go. Now turn that one. I'll close that one. We're doing a whole thing here.

Listen, we're not fucking goop. Oh, it is a little darker. Jesus Christ. Claude Rains just walked into the podcast. Go that side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you can't do that side. All right. We're back to normal. Wait, hold on. Stop, stop, stop.

Right in the middle. Very microscopic. Right there. Beautiful. That's fine. Very microscope right there. Beautiful. That's fine. Mm hmm. No, I gotta put these on so it matches.

Oh, where are the sunglasses? You gotta continuity, bronzer. Yeah, I can't know. We gotta match. Okay, what's next story? I like to bark out orders. Hey, hold on. Wait.

Let's see what this is. Tell us how you are going to break. There's a guy sitting there and he's going to talk. I'm trying to get 1000 guys in 24 hours. My plan kind of is to, it needs to be a room with two doors is what we're trying to work out. Like the logistics of this is insane because one thing it's hard enough getting a thousand guys together. It's another thing actually like making sure they all do it in the time limit. So honestly, I'm just hoping for like a conveyer belt of like,

they need to kind of like walk in the room, one pump in, one pump out, and then leave. ALICE What's the current world record though? KAYLEE It's 919. I want to get to 1000, because like, 900 is weak, you may as well have got to 1000, you know what I mean? ALICE 900 is when she throws though. KAYLEE This is why I'm training, you know, I've done

the 100, I've done like a few weeks. ALICE She's gonna do 300 to warm up. Well, I think as long as that, you know, you know, you know, it's going to be pretty quick. I think I'll get a soul towards the end. But I think I've got I hope my determination just well. Look, listen, the funny part is like she says the world record. She retires. She wants to start a family.

She's dating regular guys. They're having a glass of wine. The guy says, well, let's just be honest. I've had a little bit of sexual experience. Just tell me, how many men have you been with? I mean, ballpark. Five, six, 10? And then she has to say, 17,000.

Yeah, it's000. Yeah. It's a tough number. First of all, is that real? Well, she just broke a record for it's like a new kind of thing. They're doing for clout where. But is there any evidence it's real? Um, they interviewed the guys. Well, because how many guys would you sign up for that? Would you, would you be number 684?

Do they pay them? Well, you know, my nickname in high school was I was a boxer and they called me the one pump chump. I think that's why they call me that. So you might, you might go through, get in line and come through another time with sunglasses on the second time. Yeah, I'm five. Yeah, no, I don't know how it works. They did a hundred. And she said she was at nightmares after. I'm like, I don't even know what's going on with the world. It's really just an. Well, they did record and it's Guinness Book

really coming out there with the nerdy guy going, well, I don't. I mean, they did interview her parents, you know, very working class Brits, and they're very sweet about it. Hello. Would always be proud of our daughter. She's a hard worker. She's worked her way up to a thousand men and it took a lot of effort and time and strategy. Our daughter is the nicest person in the world. She's got a heart of gold. She likes having sex with thousands of men, but she's not all talk.

She's not... Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. She's not talking. She's not saying I'm gonna have sex with a thousand men. It's not all talk. Yeah.

You know, even if she gets 900, we still love her. And McCartney was, she's, it's a lot of shaking, I'll be honest. Yeah, it's more than you can really comprehend. I'm sure McCartney put up some world record numbers back in the day. Who was the horniest Beatle? We should have asked him. Who was the horniest? Probably Ringo.

Probably has to be the drummer. Ah, piece of love, piece of love. Oh yeah, that's a tell. I think Lennon had bed ends. That guy's horny. But what about George Harrison? I think they were all kind of the marrying kind. They all got kind of married and a couple divorced and then married again.

I mean, the Beatles are actually pretty corn straight. I think what happens that kind of fame, it's so overwhelming to even talk to someone that they probably no girl that's a fan could even comprehend they were even in the same room with them. So it's just too weird. They just got to find one person

where it's normal and stay with them. Paul's first wife, Linda Eastman, They just got to find one person where it's normal and stay with them. Paul's first wife, Linda Eastman, she was a well-known photographer from a very renowned family, Eastman Kodak, and she had a child from a previous marriage. And so she was very grown up and I think, and lovely. And so I think that's what attracted Paul to her. To your point, David. Yeah, I agree.

Okay, let's do one more. And then we'll talk about a horny other band members. That was a good question. We blew it with Paul. Okay, let's see what this is. Wait, is this another? Oh, is this? Oh, this is robots? They made robots to look like ants and they give them

chores. I'm already scared. Go ahead. Move. These robots were developed by South Korean scientists. Each micro robot is 600 micrometers tall and interacts with others using magnetic fields. Ooh, so am I. The micro robot swarm was able to unclog tubes that resembled blocked blood vessels. This technology could potentially be used to clear plaques from clogged blood vessels. Dana, we're going to fill you full of robot ants.

In this other application, the micro robot swarm transported a chunk of the metal indium through a bleak or sleek electrical circuit. This allowed it to turn a light on or off with precision. You're out of here. We're done, guys. Punch out. The micro robots were able to assemble into a group to turn their movements to walk over an obstacle By leveraging their collective and synchronized actions. They successfully overcame barriers Demonstrating their ability to adapt and perform tasks. They moved in 1976 Ford Bronco the micro robots used centrifugal force for self-growing, propelling themselves over obstacles. They're throwing gigantic.

A swarm of 200 micro robots successfully separated heavy liquid metal into smaller pieces in just five seconds, despite its high surface tension. They then moved the pieces, joined them back together, and shaped the metal into something. Oh, now, dude, if these get loose, that's it. This demonstrated their ability to handle complex tasks with precision and control.

Let's ask AI. Well, AI's gonna make all the possible. They'll cut to an actual ant going, why do we even try? Oh well. This is denoted fake ant person. Why do we even try? They're all talking.

And then another ant goes, it's not much, but it's an honest work. I'll be honest with you. I'm just an ant, but I see that and I go, it's all right. What else you got is what I'm saying. Kind of an alphamist. The ants are leaning again in an alley going,

these fucking ant robots are gonna take over. That's it. That's it for us guys, you see? The question is, do they have a queen bee? Do they have a nest with a queen bee? They got no queen bee. The best part is they don't. They don't need it.

The ants like, we never needed it. We never needed the queen. We can do this. We just gotta get over it. And by the way, to go full circle, you know what a queen Bee does all day? Has sex with a thousand ants. Oh, he does?

Just based on that other story. I thought the Queen Bee was gonna be all talk. All talk. This is the all talk. All talk, all talk. That's all there was. And everybody's eating all talk. All talk. All talk, Faze. All talk. Everybody's reading, all talk, all talk. All talk phase.

All talk. I think we should end on that, Dana. Any final remarks? I'm going to continue for the next Superfly with my all talk motif. Now, I have a new one for next week, folks. And we are looking forward to getting some people, some scientists and different people, actually have an idea for a brilliant investor to teach people how to really invest in the stock market. David, Heather, Greg.

Yeah, everybody. You're right. And YouTube shorts, we put up the new version of Trump, which is you going slower. Don't give it away. That was relaxed. Trump speaking softly instead of screaming at the big rallies. You know? Yeah. Cause now he won. Now he's like, now he can just slow down. And what we're going to do. He talked for a half hour straight in the most, uh, abstract way. It was really entertaining. I recommend it to anybody. We're looking at a lot of things. You don't want dirty dishes. You got to do them six times. Sir, will you attack Panama?

This the country of Panama? I'm not going to rule anything out. I'm not going to rule it out. I'm not going to. He wants Panama. He wants the Gulf of America. And he and he wants even more America, i.e. Greenland. He should take South America.

They're halfway there. And what would the name be? Would he make? South America. They're halfway there. They already got America. And what would the name be? South America? No, we'd rename it to America. Lower America? Lower America. Additional America after the skinny connected part.

America Plus, then they can charge you. Oh, I know what it would be. South Central America. South Central America. Because we have Central America South. All right, all right, so. We'll figure it out. Thank you, Dana.

Are you working tonight, Friday night? Yeah, show tonight. What, where is it? Is it sold out? Should we plug it? No, it's corporate. Whoops. That's all right, it's gonna be great. This is one where they don't want me to be dirty. And then I just saw two employees downstairs

and they go, you better be dirty tonight. And I'm like, I can't, I get in trouble. Never listen to the employees. You get the cue from- I know. They're like, sorry. I know. Cause the audience is not as prud as the the team that's scared of offending them. That's the irony. Yeah, they laugh if you but anyway. All right. Well, my banana looks like a dolphin. Weirdly enough, right now, your lighting is the best it's been during the whole podcast. What is that? What was the impression? It's like a dolphin. Oh, What is that? What was the impression? It's like a dolphin. Oh.

Flipper, Flipper. Okay. I'll miss you, Dana. I'll see you when I'm back. We'll talk to you just later. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly as executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it!